suffering

Have you ever had a bad toothache? The pain is a constant throbbing and really tests the preconceived notions you have developed about yourself. I surely no longer am a being of love and light. As well, I think I can transmute the pain because after all the pain is just a state of mind, right? I should be able to train my mind to find pain exhilarating. I got this! Nope. Still there. The suffering gets to the point where I must act to relieve the suffering.

When I was a teenager, I recall having a bad toothache. A "baby molar" was in decay and one day chewing a large wad of bubble gum exacerbated the situation. The sugar hit the nerve and I was in agony. Being a stoic, I retired to my room to suffer in pain. Finally, after enduring the excruciating pain all afternoon, I felt compelled to act. I went to the bathroom, found a bobby pin, jammed it in the cavity, and pulled my tooth out. I had a mouthful of blood, but I felt so much relief. My outlook on life immediately changed.

In my adult life I have had similar toothaches. I tend to avoid the dentist, so I had to find alternative solutions to my predicament that didn't involve the constant ingestion of pain relief pills. For sure, ibuprofen will allow you to sleep at night because a toothache surely won't. Eventually, my oral search led me towards sensitive teeth toothpaste, and I became a follower. With regular and disciplined application of this product, the pain subsides. As an adult in my 50s, I have the typical receding gums and enamel erosion. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but the acidic qualities of fruit invite the dentist to your door. Sensitive teeth formulations I am a big believer in. Similarly, I had terrible eczema as a young adult. The prescribed steroid creams didn't offer the solution and so I had to find my own answers. Eventually, I found aloe vera cream. Aloe vera is a godsend, or should I say goddessend? I now live a symbiotic existence with aloe vera.

Having a toothache is a great spiritual teacher. It's clearly superior to going to church or mastering physical postures. This assertion is predicated upon the suffering that causes you to act in order to find answers and relief from your painful condition. Life can be painful, and the suffering will compel you to also seek out answers.

Ram Dass tells a story where his guru Maharaji-ji exclaims all suffering is grace. Ram Dass' initial reaction to this assertion mirrored my own. How could a high spiritual being make such a claim? Suffering is the enemy and anyone on the spiritual path should be relieving suffering, not be blasé about it. Even if I accept that all suffering is grace, I still don't understand it until I probe my own life and see how I seek answers because of suffering. My transformation is given the necessary impetus via suffering. Once grokked, the statement of the guru becomes an obvious truth. It doesn't mean we don't work towards relieving suffering where we can, but we also see its divine quality.

Life on earth is defined by suffering. Along with needing a heat source, we endlessly suffer because of biological demands. In essence, we are set up to suffer. Hunger compels us to seek out food and in dire situations we directly take life in order to eat, just like an animal. Us modern day humans have offloaded the killing to places that are out of sight, so we don't see it. We go to the supermarket where everything is packaged and looks nice. Look at the exquisite marbling on that scrumptious piece of grade A beef! We obscure the fact that as animals we have to take life in order to survive. The plant kingdom is one up on us. Plants survive on the natural elements, being able to use photosynthesis to transform light and they ingest minerals through the soil thanks to water. They absorb carbon dioxide in the air. On the other hand, we kill plants and animals and extract their nutrients in our primitive stomachs.

Mother Earth provides what we need to survive. Given free will, humans increase the amount of suffering in the world through greed. We hoard resources and the reciprocal result is that many go without, while a few prosper. Most of the world lives in poverty while in the First World we have it good. Even in our societies the same situation plays out where there are players who amass huge sums of wealth while others in these wealthy nations live in poverty. The elite buy access to power, enrich themselves in the public trough, enact favourable legislation, and in turn the divide gets even worse.

When everything is going my way, I get content and fat. I live a life of leisure and don't feel compelled to act or change. When I am faced with adversity, I become focused and determined to change my situation and reach the goal I established for myself. To not act would mean slipping into a crippling depression which would result in death. So, it seems suffering will transform or kill you. That's a tough teacher. The outcomes mimic what I have experienced on the spiritual path where I had to deal with a masculine force that was going to destroy me unless I changed. My spiritual father taught transformation through unorthodox methods of harassment with the result forcing me to either change, run, or perish. I chose the path of transformation due to a thirst for knowledge and wanting to get back to the Goddess, who is love. The fear compelled me to act and transform into a warrior who would vanquish the enemy. My father played the part of the dragon masterfully and I am forever grateful for all he did, ultimately becoming who I am because of suffering.

War, famine, pestilence, pandemics, disease, and natural disasters. Loss of loved ones. Depression. Envy and jealousy. Greed. Suffering is part of the curriculum and to be in a human body on this earth is pointing towards action. I've never been sold on life having any kind of purpose but rather we can make it purposeful, and the grace of suffering gives us the push we need to take the course and work towards graduation.

I have looked at life and seen how easily we can make it hell. We were given a garden and we destroyed it. I have wondered why am I here? Clearly, it is a mistake because I don't think I should be in hell. Why did I deserve to go to this hell? I went to hell in order to enact transformation which will lead me towards the path of the heart and back home to the Goddess.

remnants of the mystery

The mystery further unravels. First, I had to discover and uncover the power within. Feeling that power for the first time is a rush and since you have no idea what it is, it’s pretty unnerving and you want it to stop. Personally, new experiences are pretty daunting and I usually fail them with aplomb and need time to figure them out. This template was active for my work with plant medicines. At first, they scared the hell out of me and sent me running for cover. However, they were intriguing enough that I came back to explore. This perseverance amounts to the best decision I have ever made. Since I kept at it, the modus operandi of my life predicted I’d figure them out and if I kept at it long enough I’d master the process. I’m not there yet but I see it’s attainable.

You can do physical exercises to rouse and move the energy around. In the end, it isn’t transformational. What is transformational is realizing how to naturally generate the power without tricks of posture. If you wish to open your heart chakra then love everyone. It really is that simple. I’ll repeat: If you wish to experience love energy which radiates from the chest then love all. Just like if you want to feel sexual energy go look at porn. It generates energy for sure. If you are unsure about what I’m referring to, start with sexual energy, as it is the easiest to unlock in order to understand the power that resides within you. Essentially, the energy centres designated as chakras are letting you know of all the available power within, not just the titillating and dirty power! Once the connection is understood, you can start making changes in your behaviour that will unlock each and every power centre. Tell the truth! The throat chakra will pulse with a renewed vigour as telling the truth sets you free and unlocks the rest of the story once you give up the limiting narrative which gives your power away. I am reminded about a story Ram Dass tells when he asks his guru how to get enlightened, expecting a detailed plan to achieve his goal. Maharaji simply told him, “Love all and tell the truth.” Imagine that! Imagine being given that instruction and being bewildered. What? I’m to get enlightened by loving all and telling the truth? Later on in life after this simple teaching, Ram Dass started the Love Serve Remember foundation. Each of those core principles will potentiate chakra energy and lead to unlocking the energetic potential within our sacred vessels. The love will radiate. Through service we will forgo the personal power to control found in the blossoming of the third chakra, and by remembering we will remember Goddess and God and direct our passionate energy towards union with the divine.

So, what have I figured out since I’ve done my fair share of exploring via plant medicines? The power within that’s activated by the reconciliation of the feminine and masculine powers. When you bring them together it lights your being up with power; it rises and there are options of how you wish to channel the energy. I can activate the power with the tobacco maestro Mapacho, potentiate it at my Mesa, and subsequently the union rises up within me.

So, what’s the big deal? It’s the evolution of consciousness; the forging together of this power with consciousness and the next stop on the evolutionary ladder is a multi-dimensional being made of the love of the feminine and powered by the ever-transforming light of the masculine. The two powers as separate need each other or they remain potential. The love of the feminine creates form however she will lapse into smothering and darkness without the masculine. The light of the masculine separates and brings the universe to life however this power will become destructive if not tempered by the love of the feminine. When the two powers combine and are reconciled into the centre then the power rises on up through you and you blast off; greater than the gods as you are the child of the two greater powers and you become free as a bird while riding the wind like a butterfly.

Ancient civilizations taught this to their adherents however we have lost their knowledge. The remnants of the mystery remain somewhat in Hindu chakra practices with the propitiating of the feminine Kundalini serpent by the masculine power. She ascends through the seven energy centres within the body before exiting through the crown chakra into the astral plane. Faints echoes exist in ancient Egypt where we have records of night time dancing, singing, drumming, and intoxicants used to gain favour with the serpent Goddess Wadjet, who was a representation of the Great Goddess Hathor, at her temple in Dendera. She was exhorted to come forth and rise; enlivening and renewing life in all she touched. A representation of this process is also found in the pre-Columbian civilization at Chavín de Huántar where the Lanzón acted as the axis mundi in the centre of centres. The Andes mountains valley plain of Chavín comes from the Quechua word chaupin which refers to the centre from chaupi which is the heart space much like in the chakra system the mid-point of the energetic journey, both acceleration and deceleration, is found in the heart chakra. The stone idol is made of the feminine serpent form and powered by the masculine jaguar energy. This strange artistic creation is the pure genius of a civilization that successfully depicted non-duality in stone in contrast to the Hindu non-dualists who were able to articulate in their language this concept. The reconciliation of the opposite powers is found in the centre and from this undifferentiated form projects out into the universe the multitude of objects that are differentiated by the light of the rising power. The combination of rising energy and consciousness leads to the metaphor of the liberated eagle flying free in the heavens as a representation of the process of the evolution of consciousness. It is a reconciliation of the opposites of feminine and masculine, ignited with the rising power. The final stage of the journey culminating in blasting off into a heavenly realm with extremely limited access. At the ancient site of Chavín, the catalysts for accomplishing this journey were the plant medicines Huachuma and Vilca in combination with the practice of the Mesa. The Mesa exoterically presents to you the reconciliation of the opposite powers of feminine and masculine, life and death, light and dark, upper and lower worlds, water and sky, and brings them all into the centre in the middle world where we are now. Esoterically, the practitioner of the Mesa channels the power coming forth from this construct into their being as an accelerant for the journey ahead. The plant medicine Huachuma activates the power within and additionally floods you with sensations of love. The plant medicine Vilca is the final step; a nitro boost that takes you the last step beyond the body for a glimpse of your destiny.

I’ve been there and have put two and two together. I invite you to explore with me. 

racism

The answer to the problems in the world we are struggling with is within each of us. It’s consciousness or lack thereof. It’s found in the lens we choose to wear when viewing the world. It’s whether we choose to see separation and division or whether we see similarities and unity. Once again Ram Dass has a teaching that helps with the difficulties or comprehending what we are all experiencing at this moment in time. Delving into the meaning of this name Ram Dass he was given by his guru, it means servant of god and it is in the form of the monkey Hanuman that he serves god as Ram. The central teaching to understand is we are all god or to put it another way we are all one and it is through this remembering of unity that our consciousness is raised and we can lift ourselves out of the hell we create when we are ignorant of who we are. Hell is created when we engage the mind and use it to delineate and objectify which creates separation. Sports are a prime example of dividing human beings up into teams, pitting those teams against one another, and then watching the division boil up into outbreaks of fighting and brawls. Violent conflict is within our nature and the outcome when we separate.

Hanuman exists to serve god, in essence all of us, in order that we awaken to our divinity. Hanuman chooses to not merge with Ram in order that he may continue this work of awakening, similar to the Buddhist idea of the Bodhisattva, who after reaching enlightenment returns to teach and serve others. When we live in the world seeing everyone as separate than there is suffering, hence why Maharaj-ji, Ram Dass’ guru, says suffering is grace and it is all perfect. The suffering is the impetus behind learning there is another way or another reality of consciousness that will allow us to transcend this modality. If you look back on your life it is easy to see that through suffering, or trials and tribulations, are where we learned the most and made change possible, if not a necessity. Ram Dass in seeing he is to serve god, which is all of us, would see collectively we are not at that point where we understand who we are and so instead of proclaiming suffering is grace and it is all perfect, alternatively offers to help. That’s what we can do. How can I help? How can I be of service? The most help we can offer is to promote unity. As Maharaj-ji said, "It is deception to teach by individual differences and karma. See all the same. You can't realize god if you see differences."