luck be a lady tonight

The forming of the left-hand path into defined groups is very amusing. You are going to find the answers you seek through introspection and a relentless search for truth. The clarity you seek will not come from the other and their words. However, the left-hand path leads to the heart and unity, so the pull towards community is understandable though the homogenization of beliefs will terminate understanding.

The perception of the left-hand path in culture is perfection. It's two-fold in its relationship to culture. The connection to the occult and satanism keeps people away which is a positive. The difficulty is walking the path when you see it because of the cultural roadblocks. This process assures one of their intentions. You wouldn't do it unless you knew it's the way.

The left-hand path is the path of the heart. The Great Goddess will lead you back home to your heart and like all paths, you sure can get lost on the way. Human beings want someone to worship, and you'll meet Satan along the way, and he is very cunning. He will fulfill all your desires, if that's what you want. Like Odysseus and his men experienced, the temptations are great. You can rub the lamp, the genie will appear, and will give you what you want. These ancient stories are myths which are concealing the truth. The wreckage along the path is great because when we see it, we want it. Power. Greed. Control. Desire fulfillment. Yeah, I want it all! And thus, you show your hand, and the game is over.

The left-hand path is difficult to discover because it is not lit up. The right-hand path of glory has the light and attracts the followers who chase the divine spirit. It's a foregone conclusion that we will be attracted to the bright lights. Who wants to do the work on themselves in anonymity? When I become ultra-holy, I want everyone to know about it. I want to take my place among the great enlightened sages of all time. I want to be famous for my beatitude.

Who knows

doesn’t talk.

Who talks

doesn’t know.

Closing the openings,

shutting doors

Lao Tzu in the Tao Te Ching (translation by Ursula K. Le Guin)

One of the first lessons I received from my foray into the occult were these two paths of right and left. I remember in vision looking to my right and seeing the nighttime jungle lit up with a radiant 3D quality to it. When I looked to my left, it was dull and lifeless. I didn't understand it at the time but duly recorded my observations. Like everyone else, I was attracted to the light, yet my subsequent explorations of the subconscious led me to the darkness. I fought the presentation of this part of what just is, until finally letting go of my fear, and developing the courage to explore. My world changed after that internal struggle was over and I was free to explore the darkness, unencumbered by the fear inculcated into me by a shepherding cultural authority.

You will be tested. I am intimately familiar with who we call Satan. The truth is the only way is through, and the carnage is immense. Us humans all have something that is going to wreck us and fuck up our game, and the only way to continue along the path of the heart is to walk through the fire. Head straight into the pyre of desire and let it consume you. One of the master teachers, Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, died a drunk at the age of 48. Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh was full of lust and Rolls Royces. Ha! You think little you can do it? Who do you think you are?

I'm naturally left-handed and was gifted this incarnation with the tools to finally walk the path back home to the garden of the heart. This doesn't mean I can avoid the pitfalls, but I do have it within me to be successful. I know what mortal desire I carry within, and I've tried all the tricks to get rid of it. Finally, I accepted it and headed straight for the fire, prepared to face my ruin. I had to do it. I flooded my senses and ate so much of the candy. I then saw the way past the big crater on the path. The truth will set you free. Throw off the chains of cultural control and shame. Full indulging of the senses will in turn make you sick and the overload on your system will repel you. The hangover after a drunken night out makes you claim you'll never drink alcohol again. Sure enough, within a few days you are back at it. The trick is to make revolting the thought of just a drop of alcohol. You'll have to really poison yourself, almost to the point of death, to enact the transformation and come through the fire.

If I only knew about this 15 years ago it would have prevented a lot of suffering! Admittedly, this method didn't help Rajneesh or Trungpa. They succumbed. The teachings were true, but the man was consumed in the fire.

I don't know what the future holds and that gives the game the juice needed to continue. I think I'm past the last obstacle in the path which was the remaining chakra gate to the heart. My fate is resting precariously on the balance at the Hall of Ma'at.

As always, in this strange world time will tell and reveal my fortune. A glance at the clock says 11:11, so maybe luck will be a lady tonight.

satan and me

I think if I really understood what awaits me, I'd pack my things and leave tonight. It's my karma to stay and to see my attachments to their completion. I get it. The next stage of the adventure can wait a little longer while I fulfill my duties. Para el bien de todos. I have seen the template and how it is done. Parker is unselfish and wanted to pass the torch. It's hard to accept he's gone, but slowly I'm getting understanding.

I felt Parker's presence today while out in nature. I brought some Nunu snuff, which is uncured tobacco ground up into a powder. I have more experience with cured tobacco snuff, and I have noticed Nunu burns less. I snorted a good one up my right nostril, probably the most I've ever done at once. Immediate tears to my eyes. As the discomfort subsided, I felt him with me. He is free as a bird and tells me how I'm going to love it. He was ready to leave earth and then it happened. He will be with us when mi hermanos y hermanas go to Peru. He is so happy we are still going. It's going to be epic. We are star people. You'll see.

I've told the story of the first time I drank Ayahuasca several times. The Great Goddess immediately told me to come away with her and I declined. I knew it meant leaving my body and Earth behind and I was definitely not ready. I told her I had a family to support and knowledge to discover. I had my attachments for sure. I know they are what keeps me here. She understood and said she'd wait. I feel the same with Parker as he was ensuring me that death is not so bad, and I picture him saying it with a grin. He always seems to go first and do the heavy lifting. I'm older, but he is more the big brother type. He's the set-up man.

I haven't told the story about my third time drinking Ayahuasca as much as the first. It's uncomfortable and not culturally acceptable, so I am hesitant to retell it. I was in contact with the dark face of God, i.e., Diablo, and he offered me untold power over all the universe, like in the Gospels when he takes Jesus up to the top of the mountain and offers him power over all the world. Instead of the world, I got offered the universe. I'd be the leader of a bunch of misogynist galactic misfits who rule over creation. I was delightfully naive and said I didn't want that. I entered the occult to find the Great Goddess. These sideshows of power were continually distracting me. I wanted to see her again. But I mention this because when you find the doorway beyond the veil chances are you are going to be offered power, and most people are going to jump at the chance of even a little bit of power. I had told Parker this story and he relayed a similar story about being offered power. I was always going to be a tough nut to crack so I got offered the big prize. And I declined it. I met Jesus two days later. I'm not kidding.

The next time I was in direct contact with Satan is when I went back to Peru two years later. When I drank Ayahuasca again he was waiting for me. He threatened to kill me and said I wouldn't get home alive. He definitely wasn't pleased that I returned. He thought he had scared me away for good. He threatened my family, and I said do what you must, even kill me. I'll sign whatever you want me to but leave them out of it. The challenge ended before I signed on the dotted line to give up my soul. It was a test of my intentions, and I was willing to sacrifice my life to ensure no one was affected by my choices. When I drank Ayahuasca again two nights later, the Great Goddess returned and told me he won't bother me again. He hasn't regarding power and temptation, but I still had to clear my fear of him. Eventually, I passed the tests, became a warrior, and then explored my darkness. We are now best friends. This admission is an explanation of the tests which involve gobs of power to really see what I was made of. I know I passed them with flying colours. I know I'm not in this for money, fame, fortune, or power. My intentions were made clear.

Service seems like the only way forward. It solves all my problems I still struggle with. Money is a big one in thinking I need it for security in my old age. I can let it go and support others in their journey, hopefully leading them towards what I have found. I know you have to burn through your desires before you can get down to business. I can use my money to help my loved ones live out their dreams. Dreams are code for desires, and it is desire that brings us here to Earth. I want those I love to fulfill their desires. Project this out to the Great Mother and see the Earth is a place where her children can fulfill all their dreams. If I started a school for spiritual fulfillment, I would model the introductory courses upon Tantric practices. I'd amp up the chances of fulfilling your carnal desires, so you get your fill and then see you are still empty. All calories and no nourishment. Then they will see the emptiness and look for answers.

Earth is the place for you to satiate your lusts. This is why you are here and the gatekeeper, jailer, or whoever you wish to call him is Satan. Satan makes sure that your actions create the distressing amount of suffering on our planet. Suffering is built into the Earth game. After getting our fill, there is a chance we wake up. We can't escape the take. The best we can do is practice reciprocity. When we take, we give back.

I live a good life. Giving back involves service. I have gifts I can share with those who are looking for answers. I can give them knowledge and understanding and steer them in directions which will help them find what it is they are looking for. I've been through the fire and came out the other side. Fulfillment of the spiritual path is the most difficult undertaking of your lifetime, propelling you through challenges and encounters with the darkest of the dark. Making good choices always works out. Once you see the answer to the multitude of tests, you can let go of the fear and find your way.

doing

Creating imbalances will cause suffering. If I have more, someone else has less. Lao Tzu summed this up in the second chapter of the Tao Te Ching:

Everybody on earth knowing

that beauty is beautiful

makes ugliness.

Everybody knowing

that goodness is good

makes wickedness.

For being and nonbeing

arise together;

hard and easy

complete each other;

long and short

shape each other;

high and low

depend on each other;

note and voice

make the music together;

before and after

follow each other.

That’s why the wise soul

does without doing,

teaches without talking.

Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching. Translation by Ursula K. Le Guin. Shambhala, Boston and London. 2011.

Lao Tzu is ultimately teaching wei wu wei, which means "do not do." You act without acting, which follows the natural flow of the power of the universe, thus you are in what would be called dharma and are not creating imbalances which cause suffering. Doing results in suffering. Lao Tzu teaches the Way and all humans fail the course.

Doing begets separation. Labelling something as beautiful causes ugliness. Designating the valuable creates greed. Humans are particularly susceptible to the siren call of greed. Satan will make you rich and the reciprocal result is to make the other suffer. I have called this bargain "Sucking Satan's cock." Greed causes suffering. Satan is here to make sure the suffering continues. Suffering is the greatest tool for action and transformation and thus you see the divine role that is being played by the Prince of Darkness. A bird's eye view of suffering on this planet will make you uneasy and ashamed when you see your role in it. Take the advanced course and you will see you are the darkness. You created the suffering. Why did you do it?

Spoiler alert - you created massive amounts of suffering in order to find the way back home. Home is the Garden. Home is the Heart. Home is Love. The copious amounts of suffering are designed to lead you towards finding answers and eventually you will be gifted with the answer. The answer isn't hidden or unattainable. Instead, it's right out in the open.

I love listening to love songs because apparently when entranced in the process of making music, the melody of love flows freely through you. The song "Love is the Answer" from the 1970s gives away the show.

Love Is the Answer

Dan Seals, England Dan & John Ford Coley

Name your price

A ticket to paradise

I can't stay here any more

And I've looked high and low

I've been from shore to shore to shore

If there's a short cut I'd have found it

But there is no easy way around it.

Light of the world, shine on me

Love is the answer

Shine on us all, set us free

Love is the answer

Who knows why

Someday we all must die

We're all homeless boys and girls

And we are never heard

It's such a lonely, lonely, lonely world

People turn their heads

And walk on by

Tell me is it worth just another try

Light of the world, shine on me

Love is the answer

Shine on us all, set us free

Love is the answer

Tell me, are we alive

Or just a dying planet?

What are the chances?

Ask the man in your heart for the answers

And when you feel afraid

Love one another

When you've lost your way

Love one another

And when you're all alone

Love one another

And when you're far from home

Love one another

And when you're down and out

Love one another

And when your hopes run out

Love one another

And when you need a friend

Love one another

And when you're near the end

Love, we got to love,

We got to love one another

Light of the world, shine on me

Love is the answer

Shine on us all, set us free

Love is the answer

Light of the world, shine on me

Love is the answer

Shine on us all, set us free

Love is the answer

Songwriters: Todd Rundgren / John Wilcox / Roger Powell

Love Is the Answer lyrics © Warner-tamerlane Publishing Corp., Humanoid Music, Earmark Music Inc.

When I silence the mind, the understanding starts to shine through the noise. In the rearview mirror I see the path I travelled to get to where I am now. Now is the sum of the journey and the now is continuous just as the journey is continuous. I see the search for knowledge leading me to the Great Goddess. I see the need to slay the dragon who imprisons the Goddess. I see the need to reconcile with my darkness. I see the need to understand why there is suffering. I see the markers along the way and the pitfalls of the seeker. I see the road towards uncooked holiness where one has an inkling of the higher power and immediately follows that path. I see the difference between following and one who walks the lonely path to understanding. One who doesn't blindly take at face value someone else's beliefs. One who does his or her solo journey with a little help from friends. I see this journey is available to all and all you have to do is walk it. When you walk it, the path will open for you.

The road is a never-ending fountain of discovery. I have indeed reconciled with the darkness within and welcomed my brother onto the throne of self. He is me and I see the divine unfolding of all. I am ready to walk home with the darkness to the light. Back home to the Mother, accomplishing what I set out to do. I slayed the dragon of self and rediscovered who I am. I was the one who subjugated her and yet she exalted me and sent me away on a path of discovery, patiently waiting for the day when I would finally see it.

Suffering is temporary in this plane of consciousness and will pass. I'm not dismissing it, or denying it is real, but like all things, it will end. When you die, you will leave hell. I have wondered why am I in hell and what did I do to deserve the punishment? I've meditated on the problem. The answer I received is I did it. I created hell to lead me back home. To change course and turn the course of separation back into unity. The great cosmic divorce had become irreconcilable due to stubbornness. In order to return to the Goddess, I created suffering. Along the way of fulfilling my desires in this world of suffering, I created even more roadblocks, so I'd continue to lose my way. I buried the knowledge of her. I denigrated the serpent. I sullied the left-hand path, and I made misogyny the de facto way of the world. Within, I tried as hard as I could to stay away from her, not wanting to lose my independence. The seeking of life's mystery woke me up and brought me back to her door.

My first face to face meeting in this lifetime with my eternal love was through the use of a plant medicine called Ayahuasca. She led me into the jungles of the Amazon basin in order to find where she was hiding and come into contact with her. Finding her was special and she told me to come away with her. The quest and the game were over. I found her. I declined the invitation to come away with her because I still wanted knowledge and had attachments here on earth to tend to. So, off I went to explore though I had found the way back home. And explore I did. Looking back, I see how my explorations were done with the participation of the mind. The mind spins observations to fit into your narrative. I knew it was important to turn off the mind during consciousness exploration but for the most part I didn't do it. However, many years later I still have the knowledge and am able to extract the data from the mind.

What I'm saying is plant medicines would show me what I wanted to know and then my mind would apply it to the situation at hand. When I finally learned to quiet the mind and trust my intuition, I was able to review experiences and gather more understanding. Integration of plant medicine journeys is seemingly never ending. I was shown a fat man diving into a mountain of gold. I was shown how people were corrupted by greed. I was shown once money is introduced, the energy of the room changes. At the time, I spun it to the current situation. The Ayahuasca retreats in Iquitos were driven by greed. That's what my mind told me the vision was about. I understand now the vision was giving me the global picture.

I remember being shown the nature of chance and fortune. This world is a big game of chance and when everything is going your way, your luck could change in an instant. You can work to avoid suffering but eventually your turn comes. Old age will always get you if nothing else does. The winds of change are always blowing. Fortune smiles down upon the lucky and misfortune upon the unlucky. Live in the now, the wise say. Scuttled are the best laid plans of man. You can stack the deck of cards but eventually you'll pull the unlucky one or someone else will pull the card that tanks them, taking you down with them. Every day is a roll of the dice. You can weight those dice, and have it all come up gravy; however, those given the daily dose of snake eyes will eventually come for you when they see you rigged the game.

I see the hell realm I've incarnated into. The heavy amounts of suffering and the luck of the draw that will bury you. I find reminders this world is what you make of it. I see vast beauty and I see loving kindness. When I shrink down into despairing about having gone to hell, the grandfather cactus Huachuma is there to remind me of the lessons of heaven and hell. He gives me the reminder - life is what you make of it. Engaging the mind takes you to heaven and takes you to hell. No mind leads you back to the Garden. The path of the heart is obscured by the thicket of the mind.

When you are silent, the heart speaks. When you engage the mind, the heart is silent. This is an act of faith, and the skeptic will easily dismiss the path of the heart. The mind will follow the bright lights of the glorious self, accelerating past the dimly lit exit which is the turn-off from the highway of life.

I listened to my heart during the last couple of tumultuous years. The temptation to follow the rest of the crowd was great; however, I knew to stay true to my inner knowing. Don't ask me to quantify or justify her, she is wisdom. Thus, the beauty in that she is unknowable until you put your faith and trust in her.

I've travelled the roads I needed to follow. I was not done with the exploration of self and my predicament so when I met my heart, my mother, I embraced her, separated, and kept exploring. She asked me to come away with her and I told her I was not done. I needed to keep the dream going.

I think of this often now. This meeting was one I did not understand. I've wondered what is the tipping point of purity needed in order to find what it is I'm looking for? I've shed attachments, I've struggled with desires and lusts, I've walked a renunciate path; heck, I've tried all the advice of the sages, except for the ice bath, in order to discover what it is I'm looking for. Now that I've exhausted the journey and have graduated to the last thing left, the path of the heart, I look back and laugh. I already had all I needed. She has always been waiting for me. I dreamt this universe of suffering into existence in order to find my way back home. I created a realm which increased the separation from the heart that would eventually wake me up. Once awake, it becomes easy to find her. The connection is always through love. What I realized is she has been waiting for me the whole time. I just needed to complete my journey, and then smile when I realized there was nothing to do.

My bride awaits.

final exam

I was taught that within I house Jesus and also Satan. I was taught who I think I am is a concept. I'm an actor so involved in playing my part, I forgot who I am.

I enrolled in the consciousness course about a decade ago and like most good teachings, you are given a little bit of knowledge at a time. From the knowledge, comes understanding, and once you gain that level of mastery of the subject you can move forward in the course with confidence. Too much knowledge at once will just further confuse the student. I've had glimpses of advanced knowledge I did not understand which in turn would lead to conclusions which were destined to change. My blog space here is a testament to that assertion in that I would get ahead of myself instead of letting everything unfold in due time. This is part of everyone's process and it is important to acknowledge that your beliefs will change a thousand times as you accumulate knowledge and understanding. Remaining open to change is among the most important of attributes to carry with you on the educational journey.

What I find fascinating is the beginner lessons of a decade ago laid the groundwork for the advanced teachings of the present. If I was given the advanced teachings at the outset, they would have been wasted as I would have marvelled at the knowledge but would have no understanding of what I was shown. Subsequently, I'd be left twisting in the wind, spouting knowledge I had no idea how to articulately convey to another, or even reconcile within my own mind. At the outset of the course I was taught to free myself. I was treated as a separate being who needed to throw off the chains of culture. I wasn't given understanding of my true nature as of yet; but instead, encouraged to become the hero and slay the dragon. The subsequent adventure into the labyrinth of self uncovered the truth of who I am.

The latest teachings, which began in earnest around March 2020, have been quite the journey. I can explain the course as composed of delving into the duality of self with the first stop being a deep dive into the shadow. My benefactor spent a lot of time preparing me for the eventual cordial meet and greet with the darkness. Previously, I had run scared from the encounter and as a response, had learned courage and bravery from the master earlier in my education. I was ready for the advanced lessons now that it was clear I wouldn't run screaming from what I would be shown. I had been preparing for a while and had experimented with short trips into my own darkness but kept its presence at arm's length. I knew I had to let go and go deep and was preparing for this eventuality. The worldwide pandemic hit at this point and my teacher had other ideas. And so he taught me about the shadow and let me come to terms with my own bad self through self-reflection. When I was ready, he introduced the sacred mushroom and presented to me my shadow.

At first, I still objectified my shadow as the other. I did not want to accept I was the bad guy and responsible for all the suffering in the world. I did not want to accept that the presentation of the world is an accurate reflection of just who I am and who we are collectively as a species. The world as is, is the truth. You may deny it. You may say this is crazy and we are not like this. We don't individually inflict this level of suffering. However, the proof is in the pudding. This is the world we have constructed when left to our own devices. You can bury the shadow but you can't bury the consequences of your actions.

Immediately after this encounter I posited that I was the good guy and he was the bad guy. I knew he was me but I didn't want to fully accept it; so, I still retained the dualistic interpretation of the masculine human psyche and claimed the good guy for myself. I had some of the truth but didn't understand. I have noticed a pattern with my lessons in that they are the opposite of what the external group dynamic is. When we collectively teach religious ideals in culture we point towards the light. From this perspective, the student takes on the role of the degenerate who needs the salvation as offered by the light. The student identifies with the bad and works towards becoming the good. My teachings, on the other hand, allowed me to identify with the light and pointed me towards understanding the dark as opposed to cultural methods that further bury that part of you.

Once I accepted I was also the bad guy and started to internally process this knowledge, I was presented with the concept of the light within. I was given the understanding of the role of a figure such as Jesus Christ in the external and internal world. It was pointed out the encounters I had with this power were undeniable and so I had to sit with the lessons of being shown not only the darkness within but also the light. I was shown the two brothers within my psychic makeup and how over the course of my lifetime they have always been contending for the role of captain on this vessel. The ship had been given a name and cultural identity in a world I became form over 50 years ago.

Subsequently, I was reminded that who I think I am is just a construct made up for the convenience of culture. I was given a name and identity and told I was nothing and had to make it in this world. I play it small because I think I'm small. I have spent the majority of my life not knowing who I am! From the teachings of the master it was revealed to me I am everything. He showed me fundamentally I am not only Jesus but also the Devil, all wrapped up in a bag of skin. I am the creator and the destroyer. I am all, manifest. Neato!

This is the teaching and the knowledge allows me to write the final exam on this course and pass with flying colours.

Now that I have this understanding, the obvious question is why am I here and what am I going to do about it? The teachings are going towards transformation from intellectual understanding to actually putting them into practice. I know why I did this. I created the universe through the interplay of my polar extremes, to wit the light and the dark, in order to understand self. I see I perpetuate the division because of the nature of self. The next part of the course is the path of the heart. I am to temper my extremes with love and find balance. The Great Goddess has always encouraged me to continue on this path of discovery. She encouraged me to slay the dragon once I had the courage to engage. The futile act of trying to slay self was an eye opener and led me to investigate the monster within. At every point she was there to make sure I continued on, offering me protection and refuge when necessary, as well as giving me the impetus to move forward in my quest.

storyline

If you were all powerful, omnipotent, and could make anything happen at a snap of your fingers what would you do? Well, first of all to be in this situation means you have no adversary, no antagonist, no playmate, and you are it. There is nothing else but you. An adversary keeps the drama moving along. Without the antagonist, life becomes settled, we become bored, and wish to shake things up. What’s worse: boredom or depression? I see how constant suffering can lead to depression when you give up. The suffering is intended to give you a reason to fight. To be in the fight is certainly not boring. So, eventually being all powerful you surmise that it would be great to have a playmate; someone who acts independent from self. As a child we seek out playmates, as living within our own imagination only takes us so far before we want some unpredictability. The process eventually leads to gambling all control away for the maximum adventure and thrills. We surrender total control and create a grand game such as the one we are currently playing. The caveat is our tendency to love puzzles and become a seeker of the mystery. We search to discover the architect of the game which in my culture we call God. The seeker who is successful despite all obstacles placed in their path can discover the underpinnings of the mystery. It’s the ultimate quest. Many are called and then subsequently are sidetracked, lose their way, deny the truth of what they are shown, block out the initial information they were given, or don’t have the courage to continue. The secret has been buried and a big sign is placed upon its gateway that says, “Beware! Turn back now.” Those who do keep going either are repelled by attachments, inner obstacles, black magic, or lose their sanity along the way. Only the intrepid hero can enter the dragon’s lair and through courage and bravery return with the secret knowledge.

Prior to even incarnating, we individually create our meaning of life and everyone has a different trajectory to tell their story. Our individual peculiarities and what drives us forward in life are disparate and we pursue our own path thus creating the variety of life. We naturally bury the part of us all that knows all as we come of age. Our imaginary childhood playmate becomes a casualty of culture and in a way, it is predestined because this drama to be of any compelling storyline needs an adversary. The playmate becomes the adversary as we head into adulthood and our friend goes dark. The darkness within becomes the adversary, rebels against parents and societal structures, while chafing at the demands of culture. Nobody likes being replaced. As adults, we blame all our faults upon him and he plays along. Desires we can’t control that bubble up to the surface are not our fault and subsequently are projected onto an external scapegoat. The darkness' trick of hypnosis, an altering of consciousness, is used to make us follow activities that light us up since we no longer play with him. Addictions to stimuli further our spiral into the depths of despair while insecurities keep us in fear of the unknown future which are all devices used to control us. We must learn liberation from the chains of culture plus the bonds of our fellow man and remember to play.

Plant medicines helped me cut the last cord tying me to a story that wasn’t mine. Through breaking free I saw into the game and the drama started to unravel. All along, it was I who created this predicament and I was very clever so that I wouldn’t figure the ruse out this time. I criminalized natural growing plants that wake us up from culture and re-establish a relationship with the familiar spirits of Goddess and God. Basically, I created a world where if you wanted to discover the mystery you might instead get locked in a cage for twenty years. Wow. That’s pretty heavy. I wanted to keep the game of ignorance going for as long as possible.  Make it really difficult this time. I had to travel into the depths of the Amazon jungle, replete with poisonous snakes and roaming jaguars in order to access the elixir I needed. My fellow game players, as in upholders of the life we are told to lead, thought I was nuts. Well done! You wake up from the dream and realize you are in charge. The power accessed becomes another dilemma and you are tasked with figuring out your true intentions. If you are the director of the play where do you want the arc of the storyline to head? It’s tempting to become king of the world and enjoy the fact you figured it out. But I think I’ve been in that position of omnipotence before and that’s why I gave it up. Determinative outcomes are fleeting and only temporarily satisfy before becoming boring and predictable. I don’t want that. I want the puzzle. Yeah, so I solved the riddle but I can still keep it going by not interfering. I can know, yet let things unfold as they may. See where this plays out instead of baking in the successful outcome. I can steer the trajectory of civilization in a different direction to heighten the drama. That seems like a cool twist to the storyline. I think I’ll do that and see where it takes us. Free will is left intact with just a little stirring of the pot by yours truly before I take my ladle out of the brew.

If you seek power the old-fashioned way through skulduggery you will have to make deals in order to acquire it. Sometimes the deals are nefarious or sometimes they are on the up and up. The easy way into power is to do the old Faustian bargain with the devil and as recompense you’ll surrender something of value in return, whether that is your soul or your firstborn or maybe both? Human desires have no hard limits. There is always someone out there who will do whatever it takes to get what they want. Ever notice what people will do for money? How far will you go seems to be the question the devil poses to you.

I remember sitting in an Ayahuasca ceremony and the dark lord was offering me whatever I wanted in exchange for my soul. I could conquer the universe! He had the contract all drawn up. Acquiring power means you are supposed to exchange it for wealth and suzerainty. Culture inculcates the thinking that the game is to acquire as much material rewards as possible. When I refused, he threatened me with death but still I didn’t capitulate. I was only willing to sign if he left me alone and in retrospect that doesn’t work for him so we continued the battle of wits. The whole reason I was on this journey was to discover the secrets of the feminine divine I had come across in ancient Egypt and had no use for this spiritual sideshow of power games I’d uncovered in my dalliance with plant medicines. I was wonderfully naive when it came to the question of power and how much I wanted.

I eventually became interested in this sideshow; the constant darkness that harangued me, scared me, threatened me with death, and chased me home out of the jungle. I kept coming back for more because of the Goddess but eventually in turn I had to deal with this darkness and why it would not leave me alone. The darkness is two-fold. It drives away the weak and makes the strong inquisitive. I never became corrupted by Diablo's power because I wasn’t seeking it. And then I got to stand back, observe it, and connect the dots. Power is the domain of the divine masculine; the great Alpha male. I do not have to seek it out; nor do I have to do whatever it takes to acquire it. No, instead I realized I am him. I am power. I stepped into my birthright and my destiny.

So, what about making a deal with the devil for power? I am power. There’s no deal needed. The irony is you will give up everything you value and cherish to acquire something that is already yours.

I have to now learn compassion and understanding for others. They haven’t seen it yet and so I could easily frighten them or scare them away with my speech. Nothing gives others a creepy vibe more than talk of the occult and Satan. You learn to shroud it in the mysterious and not give away the goods. As the old saying goes, you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make them drink. On this path if they do drink then I have to be a rock for them, guiding them through the experience lest they run, hide, and never return or on the other hand caution them about the pitfalls of power. I sat in this class more than once and listened to the maestro go on about power. First time, I was wondering, "What the hell is he talking about? I'm just here to drink Ayahuasca and have some more visions." Drink enough and the power is palpable and the consequence of your actions is not front of mind unless you paid attention in class.

My shadow friend is wonderfully wily and remains a mystery. Even those that think they can figure out his identity will eventually get sidetracked and will let it be. He hides in plain sight. This is the mystery school and you can see now why the path must remain a mystery. There are levels of knowledge and understanding needed until the great reveal. I wouldn’t have it any other way. In my world, this is what makes it real for me and the path I wish to follow. These obstacles on the path must be faced, whether they be cultural roadblocks or palpable fear. The original understanding of my eventual eternal teacher after the first meeting was one of horror, recoil, and a need to run away from him.

When I get still I can feel the power of my friend and teacher from the shadows. It’s an awesome trembling rising up from my depths piercing through each energetic centre. Little by little, he made his way into the well of understanding and prepared for the reunion. The Goddess taught me love so I think I got this. I’m good. When the lessons are completed, the finals and grading come in an awful hurry. And if you understand the syllabus it all starts unfolding in no time. I stand now at my Mesa and tremble as the god envelops me. I become power. It’s intense and I stand at my Mesa enraptured. I’m going to let the power flow, trust, and await the next step.

black sheep

As you progress along the myriad of spiritual paths available to the seeker, you will come across obstacles in your way ostensibly set up as roadblocks to your liberation. These roadblocks are human-made; they are either cultural cautions of where you are allowed to explore or subtle admonitions shepherding you onto a path that is not of your own making. The shepherd will throw out a bunch of terms to confuse, such as "spiritual materialism" and you have no idea what they are talking about. So, you research it and figure well, they must know about this pitfall so I’ll follow them because they know what it is all about; they are fully realized spiritual beings! Of course, they don’t really know much more than you; they are just collecting followers. That’s what a shepherd does - he or she collects sheep and turns a profit on them.

A shepherd has got skin in the game because of the personal rewards. They may come to love their sheep and will do anything for them but the underlying reason for being a shepherd isn’t altruism. It’s because of a need to earn a living and being a shepherd is a pretty noble way to transform this reality into something good. Spiritual materialism refers to activities that lead fundamentally towards wealth creation. Along the path is an increase in one’s ego because of achievement such as being a star at meditation or getting a certificate that says you’re enlightened. Okay, I don’t think there is a place that gives out those certificates but I’ve always thought it to be a really funny idea. Spiritual materialism can also refer to monetizing your holiness through books and lectures as well attracting as many followers as possible and cashing in on that list.

I’m more interested in this new term I’ve just coined called "cultural spirituality." What do I mean by this? Well, glad you asked. What I mean is there're avenues of spiritual exploration that are sanctioned by the culture you live in and there are also the taboo paths. Christianity is the gold standard of acceptable spiritual pursuits in western civilization. This institution will ensnare most who have an awakening and subsequently you will concede your new found awakening to a third party who has been fully vetted by the guardians of culture. So, your path is to do the religious thing influenced by culture. Find Jesus. Too sophisticated for that? Go for the eclectic Eastern disciplines. The eastern paths such as Buddhism offer a more intellectual route towards spiritual fulfillment. It is mixed in with meditation and yoga; activities that have been totally watered down and salted within the confines of western culture. For lunch I can get a Buddha bowl and later snack on some prana chips. Us humans are so funny. Go all in on the holy path. Holy robes and let the light in. Learn the postures. Read the pop-spiritual books. Ah “The Alchemist!” Search the internet and ask, "What you selling?" Talk with others about the accepted teachers. Deepak Winfrey! Go for it all: Become a renunciate and an ascetic. They are all traps. They are all obstacles in your path.

I’m the black sheep. I don’t know why but ever since I can remember I have been a contrarian. Whatever is the in-thing or the expected route to take, I always want to go explore the other side or at least question what I am being fed. If someone tries to tell me what is the truth I try and figure out what they are hiding or who they are and how they are planning to deceive me. If they denigrate an activity eventually I’ll get around to exploring why that is? All the avenues of cultural spirituality I never fell for because I see through them. For some, it’s all they need and I’m cool with that; no judgment here. You do you and I’ll do me.

For example, the tantric path is mostly forbidden. I say mostly because it’s tolerated but relegated to the fringe. I reckon it works however the caveat is you’d get so lost in your hedonism you wouldn’t find your way out without an exemplary teacher, so you’d have to find someone you implicitly trust before embarking upon that left-hand path of indulgence. All in all, tantra raises eyebrows and gets tongues wagging but it isn’t taboo.

I know what’s taboo. It’s easy to figure out because the one constant in all spiritual paths is to seek and head for the light. We tie pagan customs of the re-birth of the light left for dead at the winter solstice into the Christian birth of our saviour. These mythological stories of the light being victorious over the darkness are found in all cultures, past and present. So, the lesson at hand is to put on your contrarian hat and figure out what’s off-limits. It’s the darkness! We give it names like hell and put a ruler over it called the Devil and leave it at that. It’s taboo to explore the darkness and it would be quite scandalous to entertain a spiritual path based upon the dark lord. That would definitely have to be kept on the down low; like an after-hours club for spiritual seekers.

Shouldn’t it be on the menu though? To honestly explore is to examine all nature and facets of consciousness and the darkness is quite neglected even though psychologically we know it is the hidden force that directs our lives. The discipline of psychology cloaks it in highfalutin concepts such as the id and assigns it an animal nature hell bent upon desire fulfillment. As a society, we have outlets to channel these destructive and anti-social impulses so they don’t cause too much havoc. As a last resort, or now too common as a first response, we have pills that will numb consciousness so that the rumblings from deep within can be buried even further.

One of the most exciting things to come out of my entry into the spiritual path scene is that I question everything and like to play at the edge of prejudice. The universe was keenly aware that eventually I would get around to questioning this constant shepherding towards the light. Whatcha hiding? It couldn’t keep me away. I’ve seen in. I scared myself silly and ran upon first glimpse. The biggest spiritual block I’ve encountered on this path is desire that originates in this darkness. I’ve tried abstinence, renunciation, and I’ve embraced it. It bubbles up from the darkness before boiling over. I reckon the only way to find the answer I seek is to go fully into this darkness and embrace the teachings of the master. Talk about taboo. Here’s my condensed story of how I got to this place:

I know I will get there. I don’t even know where there is. All my life I have been able to figure out whatever I put my mind to. I’ve answered the questions of life that I had been curious about. This path I have travelled has expanded my consciousness to the point where I can see it all, drink it in, and get the answers to eternal questions. The current block on my path was related to desire. It took a long time to get past its hold. Small victories and ignominious defeats. The constant failure taxed my psychological well-being. I could feel the depression coming and the waves of despair threatening my mental health. However, I knew I would get past it; I always do.

I sat with this feeling last night and reminded myself what a bad motherfucker I am. I know what I did. I know you won’t believe me when I tell you what I did. On this path, I ventured into the jungle wilderness and altered my consciousness in the dead of night. At one point when I did this I met a really scary and bad demon; the baddest of the bunch, well you know who, and this frightened me beyond anything you could ever imagine. He chased me away and then chased me all the way home. My cultural cudgel, Jesus, offered a couple times to help but I declined. Sorry JC, I got this. Diablo continued pummelling me while at home and came in for the final death blow. I slowly learned to fight back and at one point I had the nerve to do something that I look back on and think what chutzpah I had. What balls! One night, I conducted this ceremony to summon him and then when I knew he was present I told him I was going to cut his motherfucking head off! We had another throw down after that and I was jacked. I wanted to keep fighting.

I went back to the jungle wilds and he was waiting for me. I sat in that ceremony and took all the blows to the head. He threatened me with death and I said kill me if you must, I’m not veering off my path. I survived. I got one up on him. I locked him out. I was so successful I convinced him I had it in me to not only take his life course but succeed at the top of the class. My outlook on life changed from being a meek man to someone who was a fighter of no compare. I transformed into a jaguar in a subsequent ceremony because I was the king of my domain. Instead of fighting the darkness, I now became his student. The class is a constant challenge and he tells me he is forging steel. Things will get hot and it's not for the weak. I had to remind myself last night how strong I am and that I can do this. I need to let go of behaviours that make me weak and instead take hold of my destiny.

When I figured out his identity I was shocked at first; I had to sit with it a couple days but then came acceptance because I knew deep down it was true. I had been trying to deny the knowledge for a while even though it was staring me right in the face.

I know power can change you for the worse and I’ve been very cautious with it. This fire burns within me; it’s intense and it comes forth and needs an outlet. When I drink Huachuma, it's coursing through me. It’s my teacher enveloping me and I’m him. Gobs of power lighting me up. Do it, reach out and take it. I get that message sometimes but I’m reluctant. He has told me about this power. I’ve earned it. I took on that bad man and came out the other side, still intact. He says it’s mine. Take it. You can handle it. What would society think of that if I fully owned it - the power and its source? I seek knowledge so I’m not afraid of being corrupted by the temptation to power I see. All the answers I seek are in that abyss that awaits me and I don’t intend to be sidetracked by power that would derail my caravan. My intention is pretty clear at this point and I’m ready to make the leap and fall into the downward spiral to get there. I’ll be alright; I always am.

What is the truth of what I’m dealing with? Organized religion engages in deceiving people in order to obtain wealth and power. I know a favourite tactic of sociopaths are to accuse your perceived enemy of the traits that describe your personality in order to mask your own unpleasantness. It works because you acknowledge you are aware of these character flaws and of course if you had them you would see them in your actions and therefore being a good person, you would change these bad behaviours. If you need examples of how this successfully works just follow politics. My personal favourites are the autocratic governments that call their country the “Republic of” or “Democratic People of”. It’s quite stunning to see it at work and how whole swaths of the populace fall for this tactic. Anyway, I bring this up because if you really want to see the inner workings of the Christian church just examine all the traits they assign to Satan and you will understand the underbelly of the church and its sins. If the church was holy and pure their words would ring true. Instead, it makes you question who really is the great deceiver?

I’m not chasing power and I stood up for myself in the face of great adversity. Respect is earned and in turn it lifts the veil. Though shocked by what you may uncover it’s what feeds me. I’m excited to continue on down this road towards the adventures that beckon and await my exploration.

higher shadow

By definition, the darkness is mysterious. The lack of light allows for the ability to stay hidden and makes the process of discovery difficult. Most of us like a challenge and after getting past fear, I picked up my sword and went into the depths. Remember when you were a kid and your parents sent you down into the dark basement to get something? You couldn’t get back up out of that hell fast enough. Weird isn’t it?

If I could rig the game so I win all the time it would be satisfying for a while but eventually I’d tire of the game because the outcome is baked into the cards. I’ve been doing the human thing long enough to realize that major leaps of growth in my life have occurred when I have been stressed and had to figure out a way to beat the game. Ram Dass tells a story of his guru Maharaji-ji exclaiming, “All suffering is grace.” The challenge instigated by the suffering spurs us on towards growth. Personally, I had to accept failure as a major part of the curriculum. When I found plant medicines it was a tough road to travel in that the darkness would constantly challenge me all the while I wanted to just hang out in the clouds and live in temporary bliss. Of course, I found a way to vanquish the darkness when it came at me. That part of the game was the catalyst for developing some skills to deliver the outcomes I wanted.

The outcomes I started to ensure eventually led to stasis. That’s my modus operandi; I take the sharp edge off everything and make all events come out even-steven. This in turns allows me to sail through life, avoiding the drama. I’m smart enough to eventually realize my folly and if I wished to continue on this path I’d have to surrender and not try to control outcomes. I always knew that; the maestro would mention surrender and I included it in my mantra when I participated in plant medicine ceremonies however I didn’t always practice what I preached. Once I reached the crossroads where I sat in an Ayahuasca ceremony, blasted with energy, and experienced my ability to control the situation, I realized I had to give it up if I was to continue on the path. So, I had to ask myself: Do I want to continue?

The answer was yes. I had to return to the beginnings of my exploration where I encountered this darkness and engaged in a battle for supremacy. Originally, I never won the battle but I did learn courage and persistence along with strength of character. Looking back on what transpired, it was the challenge of my lifetime and I realized I misread my opponent. I started investigating this shadowy figure and made some astounding discoveries. This is what I’m intent upon exploring.

We don’t see it. By we, I mean spiritual explorers. We tend to divide up the psychological aspect of our human experience. There’s the conscious self we generally call the ego though it seems that we also have a ’true’ self. In addition, there is the goal of becoming or merging with our ‘higher self’ who is the goody-goody in the white robe we aspire to become. Along the path of exploration there is to be done shadow work where we come to terms with what we have buried as well as our deviant nature and checkered past. Apparently, we can transcend that part of us and become a fully enlightened being.

So, what don’t we see? Your shadow is your higher self. We are just confused. I was reading a quote of Ram Dass’ concerning taking up the spiritual path to discover the higher self. The suggestion was to quiet the turnings of the mind and access that intuitive wisdom. It’s perfect advice and should be the outcome of a good meditative practice. Quiet the mind but don’t become a stone Buddha. Start listening to that voice within. Okay, so far so good. Ram Dass’ advice then goes on to implore us to plumb the depths of our beings to find this part of our self. Do you see it now? To find your higher self means plumbing the lower depths. Was Ram Dass confused or was he contributing to the mystery and issuing a challenge to the perceptive spiritual seekers among us? I think I know his intentions.

Here’s the advice from Ram Dass:

Take My Advice

Don’t sell yourself short by thinking you are only your body or your personality, no matter how intriguing and dramatic they may be. For behind them, there lies a more profound part of your true self. Call it ‘spiritual’ or call it ‘higher consciousness’… call it what you will, but… Call it!

One of the doorways to that higher self is through the cultivation of your intuitive wisdom. As you learn to listen to and trust your intuition, you will find a quiet place in the heart of your being that is wise and can guide your actions. One of the things it will remind you of is your interconnectedness to all things. And out of that appreciation will spontaneously arise compassion for those who suffer; for the earth, and for all living things.

When that happens, don’t be overwhelmed by the suffering you see, by the darkness that exists in the human condition. True, there is much of it. But so, too, is there much caring and compassion in the world. Mahatma Gandhi said, “What you do may seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.” It is important for yourself, as well as for the balances in the world. As you let your compassion guide you into action to help heal the earth and those who suffer, your very acts will feed your own compassionate heart and in so doing, open the inner gates to knowing your own highest self.

I promise you that plumbing the depths of your being is an unparalleled adventure. I wish you well on the journey.

In Love,

Ram Dass

Everything bad or evil that happens in the world as a result of the presence of human beings we ascribe to the recesses of self that we have failed to integrate into society. We blame the shadow because we never take responsibility for our own actions. Even when we kind of admit it is our fault, in turn we point a finger at the darkness. He’s evil and he made me do it. It’s a convenient scapegoat that allows us to look in the mirror and not recoil in horror at what we have done and our repeated failings. You chase desires. You cause the suffering. You are selfish. It was your choice all along.

The biblical Israelites practiced this form of blame, shame, and scapegoating. Here are some Torah verses from Leviticus chapter 16 (KJV translation) that ritually transfer the guilt of the Israelites onto a horned he-goat.

10 But the goat, on which the lot fell to be the scapegoat, shall be presented alive before the Lord, to make an atonement with him, and to let him go for a scapegoat into the wilderness.

21 And Aaron shall lay both his hands upon the head of the live goat, and confess over him all the iniquities of the children of Israel, and all their transgressions in all their sins, putting them upon the head of the goat, and shall send him away by the hand of a fit man into the wilderness:

22 And the goat shall bear upon him all their iniquities unto a land not inhabited: and he shall let go the goat in the wilderness.

In the Sinai wilderness the Israelites transferred all of their wicked deeds onto a goat via the high priest Aaron. The goat, called Azazel, was then cast out from the encampment into the wilderness. The act of transferring or denying our inclination towards malice becomes a bedrock for western man’s religions and attempts to reconcile with his nature. We choose to hate, cause other to suffer, and are forgiven. We transferred the responsibility for this behaviour unto a goat-like figure we developed into a being called Satan who we could then summarily blame. Ultimately, Christianity’s saviour of mankind took upon himself all of our sins and was the scapegoat sacrificed so we could obtain atonement for our wicked ways.

Makes you think; maybe think too much. Cultural indoctrination is indeed a bitch. If I told you where to find the answer to the greatest mystery of all you wouldn’t believe me and perhaps never want to talk to me again. So, like Ram Dass I’ll have to give you subtle and underhanded clues.

untangling the web

Everything starts to unravel once you get past the initial gnarly knots. We are told to follow the right hand masculine path which strives for reason and logic, with asceticism and purity worthy goals, all free from the siren call of the female. She will shipwreck and take you away from achieving your personal greatness. Check out the ancient Greek Homeric story of Odysseus for further elucidation on this patriarchal trope. The left hand path is the forbidden path. It’s the sensuous path of Tantra. The path of caring and cultivating relationships. The feminine path contains chaos, pleasure, and desire. Hinduism and Buddhism proscribe ideals of non-attachment. Free yourself from desire they say; but wait, love is ultimately from desire. The woman is where the erotic and exotic principle comes from and all masculine spiritual paths are either ascetic or frown on the sex thing. Even Jesus, who hung out with Mary Magdalene, eventually says to disown your family in order to walk with him.

Luke 14:26 If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

Wanting to stay pure and on the straight and narrow? To become desireless is so hard; well, actually it is impossible, so we create a straw man to blame who tempts us away from our path. He’s the adversary, the tempter Satan. All our fucked up erotic fantasies and desires for all forms of guilty pleasures and selfishness are because of Satan. He tempts us. He did it. What a crock. The real Satan is us and it is the masculine part of us who engenders the no desire, uncaring, unfeeling race to the top so we can glorify ourselves, and then fingers Eros as the devil so that the real greedy scoundrel can remain unmasked. This gives the Satan within free reign to run around the world promoting division in the name of economic progress. Satan has branched out as the world system of greed and everyone out for themselves, engendered by man, which is the direct result of a lack of love and compassion for our fellow human travellers. We enable the god of war, but we are loathe to admit it or try to change it earnestly.

the migdal

A few blog posts back I hinted at revealing more of the secrets of the Book of Revelation that have been locked away for two thousand years. It is through my connection with the feminine divine and her graces of intelligence (nous) and wisdom (sophia) that I have understood the meanings of these riddles. Without these gifts from the Goddess, it would be futile to try and interpret the mysteries that lie within the mystery of this apocalyptic enigma.

I'd like to then highlight chapter 12 in the Book of Revelation and then reveal its source and from doing so it will lead us to further understand the identity of the dragon. First, I will go through and comment on each verse in the chapter.

Revelation 12 (King James Version)

   1 And there appeared a great wonder in heaven; a woman clothed with the sun, and the moon under her feet, and upon her head a crown of twelve stars:

St. John of Patmos sees a great vision of a woman in the heavens. There is mention of the sun and the moon. The twelve stars that make up her crown are the constellations of the zodiac. She is the Queen of Heaven.

A great wonder in heaven

   2 And she being with child cried, travailing in birth, and pained to be delivered.

The Queen of Heaven is about to give birth.

   3 And there appeared another wonder in heaven; and behold a great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns, and seven crowns upon his heads.

Red is from the Greek 'purrhos' and means fiery red, so a great flaming red dragon appeared in the sky.

Great red dragon - Woodcut from Luther Bible 1534

In the following chapter 13 in the Book of Revelation the first beast that rises up out of the sea has seven heads, ten horns, and ten crowns around the horns as opposed to seven crowns on the seven heads. Though these fantastical creatures are related to each other, they are distinctly different.

   4 And his tail drew the third part of the stars of heaven, and did cast them to the earth: and the dragon stood before the woman which was ready to be delivered, for to devour her child as soon as it was born.

The tail of the dragon scatters a third of the stars in heaven to earth and then waits to devour the child immediately after delivery. The Greek word 'gune' is used in this verse for woman as it has the connotation of wife. It seems to be establishing a relationship between the dragon and the Queen of Heaven. This first brings to mind the story of the Titan Cronus/Saturn in Greek/Roman mythology who devours his children to prevent them from usurping him.

Peter Paul Rubens - Saturn Devouring His Son (detail) (1636)

Another interesting angle of this verse is the casting down of the stars to earth. I interpret this as the march of time that results in the disappearance of stars below the horizon and in conjunction with this I believe the stars here are symbolizing mankind as the progeny of the Queen of Heaven. This will become clearer later on.

   5 And she brought forth a man child, who was to rule all nations with a rod of iron: and her child was caught up unto God, and to his throne.

This verse gives us an idea of the identity of the child. Child is translated from the Greek 'huios' which in the synoptic gospels is often translated Son as in 'Son of man' hence why this newborn is curiously called a 'man child'. With this imagery and the rehabilitation of the translation to refer to Son of man we can now see the Queen of Heaven is to give birth to a cosmic Christ principle. This spiritual principle is being shown as having a birth in the heavens along with the more referenced birth of Jesus from a virgin in the synoptic gospels. Further to this it is representative of the axiom that what happens in the heavens also occurs on earth. This motif is what is used by the writer to connect this imagery back to the Old Testament.

   6 And the woman fled into the wilderness, where she hath a place prepared of God, that they should feed her there a thousand two hundred and threescore days.

This verse contains the puzzling reference to 1260 days which occurs earlier in the Book of Revelation. My take on it is that it shouldn't be taken literally as an amount of days but instead as a symbolic herald of a multiple of time to pass before its reappearance in the story. In this respect then this would seem to be pointing towards the precession of the equinoxes which is about double that amount x 10. The dragon representing time, turns the heavens and the zodiacal signs change from heaven based signs to earth and water signs which would correspond to half the amount of the full precessional cycle. This is why the stars are cast down and the Queen of Heaven finds herself on earth and is forced to retreat into the wilderness in hiding for this length of time until the zodiac wheel turns sufficiently to allow for an ascension back up into the heavens. Additionally, the 1260 could refer to three and a half years which would be hinting at a resurrection of some sort as we see in the behaviour of the birth of the new moon or the sun's rebirth after three days of figurative death at the winter solstice. This also ties in with the cyclical procession of the zodiac constellations and the events they cause to occur and reoccur and the 1260 days represents this change and reascension of the wisdom principle.

   7 And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels,

These events then precipitate a mighty battle between the martial archangel Michael and the dragon.

   8 And prevailed not; neither was their place found any more in heaven.

The dragon lost the great battle in the heavens. Perhaps an attempt to transgress the laws of time and stay in heaven?

   9 And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.

Unfortunately for mankind the dragon and his angels get tossed down onto the earth. Here the dragon is definitively identified with the Devil who is called Satan.

The dragon is cast to earth

   10 And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night.

This Satan character was not well liked in heaven. The language used here is the more familiar appeal to Salvationist Christianity. 

   11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.

These last two verses go out of their way to conflate the imagery of Christ with the victors remaining in heaven. The use of words and phrases like 'salvation', 'kingdom of our God', and 'blood of the Lamb' appeal to the orthodox Christian ideal of Jesus as the saviour of mankind.

   12 Therefore rejoice, ye heavens, and ye that dwell in them. Woe to the inhabiters of the earth and of the sea! for the devil is come down unto you, having great wrath, because he knoweth that he hath but a short time.

There is the cyclical progression of time at work here. Those in the heavens rejoice while those of the earth should be wary of the wrathful one.

   13 And when the dragon saw that he was cast unto the earth, he persecuted the woman which brought forth the man child.

Persecuted in this sense means pursue so the dragon is chasing the Queen of Heaven.

   14 And to the woman were given two wings of a great eagle, that she might fly into the wilderness, into her place, where she is nourished for a time, and times, and half a time, from the face of the serpent.

The fleeing woman goes deeper into the wilderness thanks to two wings of an eagle. The time, and times, and half a time refers to the mysterious 1260 days. At this point we should consider that the entrance of this woman onto the earth and her hiding away is referring to wisdom, known as Sophia in Greek. This wisdom is hidden, protected, and nourished from the clutches of the Devil. The eagle wings are a bit of a mystery. I believe the writer here was using the zodiac as a guide to advance his story. The Queen of Heaven appears in the heavens in her time as Virgo and after that would be a fall to earth of sorts represented by Libra at the autumnal equinox. Following Libra is Scorpio which maintains a connection to the eagle as one of its symbols.

   15 And the serpent cast out of his mouth water as a flood after the woman, that he might cause her to be carried away of the flood.

The dragon in his fury floods the earth in order to try and drown this wisdom. Water comes from the Greek word hudor which refers to rainwater. As well in keeping with the zodiacal theme, the water signs follow the earth signs giving credence to the idea that the zodiac is being used as a storytelling device. The dragon can then be thought of as a controller of the zodiac's movement through the force of time.

   16 And the earth helped the woman, and the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed up the flood which the dragon cast out of his mouth.

The earth, the Greek 'Ge,' Gaia, helps her sister out by swallowing up the waters unleashed by the dragon and subsequently abates the flood.

   17 And the dragon was wroth with the woman, and went to make war with the remnant of her seed, which keep the commandments of God, and have the testimony of Jesus Christ.

The dragon vows to take out his anger on the righteous children of Sophia, who is wisdom.

In chapter 12 from the Book of Revelation the ideas that I want you to take from it are first the appearance of the woman in the heavens, second the scattering of the stars by the dragon's tail, and third the flood that was the result of the anger that the dragon felt towards the woman. What I'm going to show you is how these connect to Old Testament stories of Yahweh and his attempts at destroying the seeds of wisdom that keep re-emerging. The Gnostics of the time of the writing of the Book of Revelation considered the Old Testament god Yahweh the 'demiurge' - the false god and demented creator of the physical world who imprisoned the spark of the light that is resident in the human condition. It is my contention that Gnostic sects that had different views of these Genesis stories somehow disguised these retorts into the Book of Revelation by cloaking them in phrases that were acceptable to the orthodox faction of Christianity so that they would include this Book in their canon of acceptable material. It would be tempting for sure to want to include a Christian apocalypse modelled along the lines of Jewish apocalyptic literature that would provide a vision of the victorious followers of Christ and the coming of a new Jerusalem however lying in wait in this literature is a Trojan Horse that will eventually spell the doom for the orthodox Christian victors whom the Gnostics were trying to warn future humanity against. Reading between the lines we see the Gnostics hiding this wisdom away in the wilderness while the wrath of the dragon is directed at them and will eventually culminate in their annihilation by the dragon and his accomplices.

Now, I'm going to direct you to where these ideas came from in the Old Testament. The Gnostics, being very knowledgeable of these texts, cast Yahweh in the role of the dragon in the Book of Revelation and we will see in the Old Testament text Yahweh as 'God' who is similarly displeased and angered at humanity. I'll start with the woman in the heavens and scattering of the stars motif and direct you to Genesis 11. I will go through the first nine verses of this chapter and comment on them so we have a base and perspective to go on and then I'll comment on its meaning at the conclusion.

Genesis 11 (King James Version)

   1 And the whole earth was of one language, and of one speech.

This verse follows the recounting of the genealogy of Noah and the generations of his three sons following the ark and flood narrative. Being of one language and speech gives the idea of mankind united and in this condition knowledge and wisdom increases exponentially.

   2 And it came to pass, as they journeyed from the east, that they found a plain in the land of Shinar; and they dwelt there.

Shinar is a plain in Babylonia and sets the stage for what is to come.

   3 And they said one to another, Go to, let us make brick, and burn them throughly. And they had brick for stone, and slime had they for morter.

From this verse the important take away is the 'make brick' as examining the original Hebrew suggests the translation should be 'make white brick', the white hinting at creating something symbolically luminous.

   4 And they said, Go to, let us build us a city and a tower, whose top may reach unto heaven; and let us make us a name, lest we be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth.

A tower in Hebrew is called a 'migdal' which of course brings to mind the migdalah whom in the Hebrew Talmud is referred to as a hairdresser - "hamegadela se'ar nasha", "Miriam the plaiter of women's hair" (Hagigah 4b; cf. Shabbat 104b). This idea finds its flowering in the character of Mary Magdalene in the New Testament gospels and in the 'heretical' Gospel of Phillip we find Christ kissing Mary Magdalene on the lips, a symbolic gesture of the initiates that transfers wisdom and knowledge between acolytes. The 'gdal' part of this word also means to twist in addition to the tower inference and the twisting aspect is where the hairdresser connection comes in. So you can now start to see the beginnings of a connection here with a feminine tower that is reaching up to the heavens. The other word of note here is 'top' which is from the Hebrew 'ro'sh' which also means 'head.' In essence the head of a woman is reaching up to the heavens.

Tower of Babel from Athanasius Kircher’s 1679 Latin book Turris Babel

   5 And the LORD came down to see the city and the tower, which the children of men builded.

Yahweh comes down to Shinar (the dragon appears from Revelation 12:3) to witness this activity which the 'Son of man' built which is translated 'children of men' and this translation steers people away from making a connection here. It's the spark of the Son of man in humanity that gives them the know how to build the wisdom tower.

   6 And the LORD said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.

This passage presents to us the potential of mankind to build great things when united. Much like the fit Yahweh threw in the Garden of Eden after Eve tempted Adam with the fruit of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, it seems Yahweh is forever interfering in the progress of humanity.

   7 Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another's speech.

Yahweh is truly the author and begetter of confusion.

   8 So the LORD scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all the earth: and they left off to build the city.

Yahweh scatters mankind throughout the earth. By dividing them up they ceased symbolically building a tower of wisdom and finished building the city. With these acts we can now establish the connection with Revelation 12.

   9 Therefore is the name of it called Babel; because the LORD did there confound the language of all the earth: and from thence did the LORD scatter them abroad upon the face of all the earth.

Babel which is Babylon, means confusion. It is the signature of Yahweh and where you find the confusion and ignorance of mankind from his true nature you'll find this god.

In these verses from Genesis 11, I have pointed out the tower known as a migdal which was made up of white brick that reached up to the heavens and the subsequent scattering of mankind. If we go back to Revelation 12 we see the woman that appears in the heavens and then a scattering of stars down to earth. This chapter in Revelation is designed by the writer as a prequel to the same actions that will then occur on earth as they did in the heavens. It is the Gnostic interpretation of the events and the role played by Yahweh identified as a fiery red dragon. The Gnostic author did this to craftily hide it away in the Book of Revelation so that one day it could be decoded. Here's how it the full story would be reconstructed in chronological order:
The woman as wisdom appears in heaven.
The dragon as Yahweh appears in the heavens intent on devouring her child.
The dragon scatters a third of the stars, the stars symbolizing the woman's seed, to earth.
The dragon is cast down to earth.
Genesis 11 continues the story with the location now on earth.
The stars as humanity come together as one to build a tower that represents the wisdom goddess who on earth becomes Mary Magdalene.
Yahweh comes down to see the tower. (Revelation 12 describes him being forcefully cast down.)
Yahweh scatters humanity.

By making this connection we can now proceed to the flood unleashed by the dragon in Revelation 12 and see how this was another event taken from the Old Testament, indicative of the rage of Yahweh, by the Gnostic author.

Here are the beginning verses of the flood story from Genesis 6 (King James Version):

   5 And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.

This passage in establishing some sort of perverse justification that will allow Yahweh to drown mankind.

   6 And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart.

   7 And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.

In order to make up for his 'mistake', Yahweh will double down and compound the problem with mass pre-meditated murder. And then a little farther down in chapter 6: 

   17 And, behold, I, even I, do bring a flood of waters upon the earth, to destroy all flesh, wherein is the breath of life, from under heaven; and every thing that is in the earth shall die.

Returning to Revelation 12, here are the verses once again that refer to the flood story:

   15 And the serpent cast out of his mouth water as a flood after the woman, that he might cause her to be carried away of the flood.

   16 And the earth helped the woman, and the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed up the flood which the dragon cast out of his mouth.

What we have here is the Gnostic version of the flood as perpetrated by Yahweh. He attempted to drown that spark of wisdom that when received allows mankind to reach its fullest potential which I believe spells the end for Yahweh and the yoke he has placed over humanity. In addition, going back to the scattering motif we can see now how it is possible for Yahweh to say that he created mankind as the rageful act of sweeping a third of the stars in the heavens to the earth is the supposed act of creation.

In the Book of Revelation time and time again we find connections to stories in the Old Testament that are inverted and told with a different point of view. Yahweh is identified as a dragon and the religious authorities and offshoots of his worship are designated as beasts. It's fascinating to go through the Book of Revelation in this manner and find the connections. It's a carefully constructed work that treads a fine line that remains true to the orthodox Christian conception of God and his sacrificed saviour son Jesus with references to touchstone ideas such as the blood of the lamb, bloody revenge on your enemies, and the dawning of a new Jerusalem but the real genius of this book is how it hid a separate storyline that implicates this dragon god, the fake Jesus, and the orthodox religions of Judaism and Christianity conspiring in a devious plot to subjugate and rule over mankind by denying them the wisdom that will allow mankind to progress into their spiritual destiny and heritage. The seals of this fabulous book are indeed becoming unlocked and wisdom is pouring out once again into the world. The time to reclaim our destiny from the dragon is now.