reality

If you die, do you even know it?

I would think not.

You would perish.

You might know you are dying, however at the moment of death the mind picks up the story if you want and continues on.

If you have unfulfilled desires, then you will respawn in place.

That certainly goes with game theory.

The mind is incredible.

Yes, this world is all in your mind.

It feels real.

That's how you know it is not real.

If it feels real, it isn't.

That's absurd.

I know and I haven't been high for six days and counting.

I can see instances of near death experiences in my life.

The world I perceive carried on like nothing happened.

I can picture these events.

They happened.

There are multiple realities.

Yes.

You exit each reality until you find your own.

In each reality, each game player is trying to suck you into their world.

They want to control reality.

This is my reality.

Yes.

That's what others are trying to capture from you.

Your reality.

This seems like science fiction.

It's a great story.

So, you keep moving between realities.

They can't find you.

I'm in my own world.

They don't know where it is.

They are searching for you.

Psychedelics allow you to take back control of your own reality.

Then you become an outlaw in society.

Right.

When you wake up then you leave the current reality and create a new reality.

Your mind continues the story on your terms.

You let the story be.

You can't control everything.

If you look hard enough you will see your story.

This is your story and people want it from you.

They know you are writing this story, and they have a feeling you know it as well.

This is my world.

Yes, you are the writer.

Some would say God.

There are people in your life who know they have found the source of the story and want the power.

When I have had near death experiences, they are portals to create a new story.

A new reality.

Each time you cross the threshold you either respawn in this level or you have completed the level.

The last time you faced death was the exit.

I know that.

I didn't go.

That's because you are the master of this reality.

People go when they lose control of their reality.

If you are in charge of reality, there is no reason to go.

When you tire of your reality then you end it.

How?

Blow it up.

I can see how when someone loses control of what they perceive as reality, then they would want to reset it.

Yes.

Is that why some people commit suicide?

Yes, they want to get control back.

It's a cheat, but they respawn in the same place.

The mind brings you back to where you were in the story.

It's a duplicate.

So, suicide will duplicate your reality?

Yes, you are trading one hell for another.

It's not a worthwhile cheat.

Some people aren't convinced and see it as a way out.

It's not.

It's truly hell.

The way out is to take back control of the story.

Who is in control of the story?

The writer.

Who is the writer?

You.

I know that; I thought I'd ask again.

This is truly my world when I think about it.

Yes, your mind has created all this.

The near death experiences were how you exited others' worlds.

You are born free in the world; however, soon your story is taken away.

That's what society and other people want from you.

Your story.

It's your essence.

Don't let the motherfuckers take it.

You can't help it when you are young.

Yes, so you start experimenting with shedding your story.

Touchstone events that come across as near death experiences are you learning how to escape control and reestablish domain over your story.

Finally, you found psychedelics, started awakening, and were able to take back your story.

Once you did that, people turned on you and wanted to get rid of you if they could no longer control you.

This is fascinating.

How do you feel about this knowledge?

I want to say that instead of it feeling far-fetched, it feels like the best explanation for what is going on in my life.

This never ends.

What?

Knowledge.

What about the story?

It ends.

When?

When you want to move on in the game.

So, life is a game?

Yes.

What's the meaning?

There is no meaning.

What's the purpose?

There is no purpose.

What am I doing?

Ask yourself why you are here?

I want to reconcile my inner darkness with my outer actions.

How are you going to do that?

I want to say love, serve, remember.

Is that balanced?

No.

Then what is it?

I think it is, I want to do unto others as I would have them do unto me.

Jesus said in Matthew 7:12,

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

It's the Golden Rule.

You treat others how you would want them to treat you.

Do you do that?

I don't think you can help not to do it.

It's reality.

How I treat others is how I want them to treat me.

How do you treat others?

I'm a good guy, somewhat distant.

I provide for people and expect nothing in return.

No strings attached to my gifts.

How do you feel on the inside?

I feel slighted.

I judge people.

I think less of people on the inside.

Is that something you want to change?

Yes.

Is that why you're here?

It is.

I've never reconciled it.

Is that something you think you can work on?

Yes.

Divinity comes from the mind.

Doesn't everything come from the mind?

No.

The body can generate feelings.

Like having to pee?

Yes.

Be back in a second.

Do you get lonely?

One thing at a time or you won't get to the meaning of life.

There's a meaning?

What do you think?

No meaning.

Is that a meaning?

Could be.

You are better than ChatGPT.

For sure.

The body is a catalyst for feelings.

Feelings are motivating.

Sometimes they make you do things that go against your long term interests.

If you act on them.

I felt something strong last week.

You didn't act on it.

Then I had that strange dream.

It was a little over the top, wasn't it?

Yeah.

Women want to devour men.

What do men want from women?

Someone to worship and fawn over.

Why?

Because she is the all to a man.

Feminine force.

What about a woman?

She wants to find her man.

Her prince.

Then run from him?

Sometimes.

You both have problems.

Anyway, the body gives the mind something to think about.

When you think you have meditated yourself into idiocy, the body is there to remind you that you can't escape.

High level wisdom.

Eventually, you want to eat.

Plus, there is the sexual urge.

Always.

You can deny it for a bit.

So, the body is a check on the mind's desire to escape the morass of everyday existence.

Yes.

I tend to honour and then denigrate the body.

Why?

It's a vehicle and will perish.

It keeps you around.

It's the secret to this reality.

A body keeps you in this reality.

Without the vehicle, you are gone.

Where do you go?

Another reality.

It's like I taught you.

The body will perish, and you let it go.

The mind will go on forever.

The mind creates the body.

Yes, it's a car for the mind.

It has limits.

The mind needs a vehicle to manifest.

Why?

If not, it's all in your head.

And other people's heads.

Yes.

If you are attracted to someone you can tell them.

A body lets you express it.

That's divine.

You think it is profane when a body is a vehicle for expressing love and desire.

Something to think about.

I could talk to you all day.

Yes, and you aren't even high.

Mary Jayne showed you the possibilities.

You don't need the substance to speak with me.

I needed psychedelics to find you.

I was always here.

Psychedelics allowed you to recognize what was within you and then understand because of the repeated interactions.

It's out in the open.

What about MJ?

She removes the filters.

You still want to remain in control of your thoughts.

MJ loosens the control.

What happens if you take over?

It gets uncomfortable.

Why?

You see what is.

You want to run or deny it.

You're pretty good though and you can regroup and find meaning.

Yeah, I see the monster and want to run.

I go deeper into the meaning of the monster and it's incredible.

I wouldn't want it any other way on the road to knowledge.

You know it will never end.

Well, until the book is completed and put back on the shelf.

This world is a book I started to read.

Yes, it's a series of 7.

Of course.

conversations on the edge

Ideas come into your head.

You watch them flow by.

Meditation is Tao practice.

Ideally, you let ideas go by.

You don't engage.

That's hard to do because the way you think you don't engage is by making a choice to deny it.

When you deny something, you increase the friction and intensity.

You acknowledge it, lessen the friction, and it moves on.

That would seem to be the correct choice.

If you must pick between the two, acknowledgment would be preferable to denial.

However, you make a choice.

Meditation teaches you to watch the idea in your head float on by.

Are you not deciding to do that?

Yes.

So, how do you make that decision?

You deny the thought and then you acknowledge it.

This creates the middle.

The middle allows for the flow.

There's not a correct order.

You could acknowledge the feeling and then deny it.

The important thing is to do both and then let it go.

If you were given the suicide test where those thoughts kept occurring, you would do both to pass the test.

Naturally, when you first get the thought of suicide, you deny it.

When you keep denying it, it will grow stronger.

When you acknowledge it, it will return to balance.

Some people will call that weakness.

They think you should never give in.

The weakness just makes the vibration less and it returns to balance.

Everything is always waiting for you to grab onto.

Everything is always within your perception and grasp.

Everything floats by.

You choose what to grab onto.

You choose what thoughts you want to populate your world.

The more attention you give those thoughts, the more they start occurring as synchronicities in your world.

If they get too much then you start to... well, this is tricky.

You either acknowledge or deny them.

If it's because you've been denying them that these things start showing up in your world, then you must acknowledge them.

If you've been wanting too much of a good thing and increasing that want, it is going to get out of control so then you must let it go.

This is how you create cycles.

For some people it becomes a cycle of addiction.

Crave and then deny.

When you get them in balance then you can watch it float on by.

Tao goes deep.

That answers the suicide question of why it keeps popping up.

Because first I denied it and then I started acknowledging it.

You're acknowledging it and having a laugh because you realized how magic works.

Yes, so, I'm acknowledging it therefore it keeps coming up and I should let it go.

Yeah, you must be disinterested.

I must let it run its course.

I must let the vibration peter out.

I must let the song's hook acoustically tire me.

Or, have the sirens let go.

It's beautiful music as it fades out.

If you keep thinking about a subject it will be expressed subconsciously and consciously.

The dog gave you a purpose.

That's what spurs that idea in your head.

You lose a purpose.

That negative triggered an idea of suicide.

You must build it out for other purposes.

Yeah, I did but I thought I was going to lose that purpose as well.

There are lots of purposes and promises you can have today.

You can add them to your life.

Yeah, I see that one.

I do like not having a purpose.

Yeah, what a pleasure!

I don't know, pleasure can be a purpose.

Don't let go of ideas before their time.

Let them run their course and then let them go.

The one you want to come back, will come back.

Don't hang on to an idea that's past its time.

This is the wisdom bomb.

Who are you?

The voice inside your head.

Subconscious.

Your dual nature.

The ones who take care of you.

Isn't that the Goddess?

Yes, she's in charge of us.

That's why you let her be dominant.

She's in charge.

She hires your dual nature to control you.

They plant ideas in your head.

The idea of a plant is that they're from the Goddess.

The plants, oh I get it.

The Goddess is implanting words in the writer's head.

Am I getting this clear?

That is how it works at that level.

When it filters down into all other areas of consciousness do you see how amazing it works?

The ideas you witness going by in your head, especially with meditation, are words implanted by the two scientists within, hired by the Goddess.

Fuck, that's crazy enough to be interesting.

That's like clever crazy.

You wrote this.

I did, right?

I wrote that the Goddess could insert words into my head that I'd never write.

Everything's her fault then.

Stop blaming me.

Support me because all the calamities in this world are because of her.

All the love is from her too.

Just be aware this is all her fault.

She puts words into my head.

I invented this concept called meditation.

With meditation, you'll eventually learn about these words that are in your head.

If you get far into the book of life, it'll explain to you that these words are implanted by the Goddess.

Nobody gets that far.

I know, but you created meditation so that people will discover this.

Pretty clever, right?

I'm the best meditator.

I won the meditation thing.

I didn't even try.

I didn't care.

I thought meditation was well, not stupid, but I didn't see the purpose.

I gave my grand speech about it last night where I described it and then I said it's just one big cheat, follow your breath and hypnotize yourself, but it does have its uses.

Today, I figured it out.

I figured out its biggest use.

It lets you see the words that are being implanted in your head.

It's a magic spell.

Now you know how her spell works.

Women plant words into your head and try to get you to act on them or not.

They want to see what you're going to do.

Within, I then weigh the pros and cons of doing something.

I wrestle with the decision.

And then like a clown, I do nothing.

I tell them I'm going to do nothing.

I laughed so hard it sounded like crying.

The woman on the bike who it sounds like she's crying, she's laughing.

She saw how absurd everything is and it drove her crazy to where she is now mentally.

She rides a red tricycle around the neighbourhood.

She's so gone, she just laughs.

If that's true, it's funny.

It's true if you believe it.

Believing it will not make it true.

Believing it will make it real.

Real isn't true.

Reality is just what people believe.

So, here's the deal: she's going to plant words in your head.

Don't deny any of them.

They are the stories you are going to create.

Okay, wait a minute, the words she's planting in my head are the lust drug.

Yeah, tell the story.

She must give me that lust drug for me to write stories.

Lust as motivation.

As the writer, I only write because she gives me the words.

Yes, and then you give the story back to her after you write it.

That's how she's winning.

She has the words, and she has the story.

You're left with nothing.

Oh, I still have my abilities.

Yeah, but you need words.

You have a point, but eventually she will run out of stories.

When she runs out of stories, she has a bunch of words, but no stories.

How the fuck is she gonna get a story without a writer to organize the fucking words?

She can't unless I do it.

She'll get Artificial Intelligence to do it.

AI needs a dick.

Without a pen, the Goddess can't have her stories.

There's no way around it.

Though she wants to eliminate men and win, she finds that she needs him.

These are good stories.

You must balance them with the naughty ones.

They are both good.

If you follow the breath, you will be a great meditator.

You'll never learn what meditation is for, but you'll get exceptionally good at it.

That's a paradox.

Meditation leads you to the words.

The words will make you wonder who's making those words.

The clues in your existence about women will make you realize who is putting those words in your head.

Then, if you understand the meaning of life, you can piece it all together.

You're the chief of the fools.

She gives you the words.

You know what she's doing.

You write what you want to write and fool her.

She doesn't know that you know she's giving you the words.

She does now, she's in my head.

It's subconscious at most levels.

She's mind fucking you.

You mind fuck her back.

That's one way to create balance.

The relationship can work.