perspective of the heart

There seems to be such an interesting paradox at work here in this world. I objectify my surroundings and sometimes feel alone. I seek out others in order to share existence and experience with the other. I live within duality, yet I feel separate. I feel like a solitary being, alone within a smorgasbord of playmates. Conversely, I intuit the lack of senses would enable non-duality and when I think of this paradigm, I envision being merged with all so that even though I don't sense the other, I am the other. Duality forces me towards finding unity and then non-duality compels objectification in order to enable freedom to choose and see what the many from the one will choose. Duality reveals our intentions and nature.

It's very interesting to ponder how we create experience based on our energetic state which gives us perspective. What I mean is that we are cyclic energetic beings. Non-duality and duality are different pit stops on the energetic wave we travel. At full acceleration, we are free, separate, and become fully engulfed within a dualistic universe. As the energetic signature slows, we return to a state of non-dualistic unity and become merged with the one. The genius of the set-up is the constant motion which enables perspective. To freeze the motion is to create a snapshot in time and only then can we label existence as non-dual or conversely a sea of the many we call duality.

Deceleration of energy into concrete form is an invitation towards knowledge of self. The human experience prepares us to once again blast off into the freedom of non-attachment to form. We rebuild the store of energy and from the recoil of being trapped in a physical form, we once again prepare to accelerate to the highest highs. The oscillation of energy is the ultimate roller coaster and as energetic beings we thrive on the adrenaline rush of the carnival's thrills and chills. The body is our desires taking form. We are in a body because it is what we wanted. We wanted to continue on in experiencing all. The grand carnival of the universe is an open invitation for all energetic beings, full of delights, and of course the requisite nausea and stomachache. Gotta take the good with the bad.

The ultimate game we have set-up for ourselves to play is to find unity within duality. Because we are objectification machines, in order to enact unity, we must have faith. Faith in the power of love to get us home. Our senses will lead us astray and our logic processes will not be able to compute a feeling of love. Knowledge and sense perceptions turn you into a blind man when it comes to love. Pretty ingenious don't you think? We are blind when it comes to finding the path of the heart. Sense perceptions obscure what we seek. We are blind to the beauty all around us and we only see the hardship and ugliness. Sometimes we get a glimpse, so we know it's there. The path of the heart is discovered and travelled by letting go of what I think is real from the standpoint of physical perception. Perception is moved from the head into the heart.

The masculine is duality. He is light and the creation of this dazzling display of his essence involves a pulsing from on to off. You could say he is the light, and he is the dark. The divine masculine is acceleration, and he heads towards freedom. The man wants adventure and no attachments. The feminine is unity. She is form and embodies the power of love. Love has no dualistic opposite. Love is constant power while masculine power oscillates. The masculine power touches the feminine's embrace of all in order to decelerate. The pulsing from acceleration to deceleration is the rubber-band that creates the energy which allows creation. Form is deceleration of energy and freedom is the acceleration of the light.

It is the masculine that objectifies the feminine and through this desire creates the duality needed to come to life. The dualistic world of appearances is a man's world. The feminine gives the world form and the objects in the world allow for experience. Objectification creates duality and the recognition of a pattern having a beginning and an end. Life and death are created through delineating events within an inherent unity. The pulse of the masculine creates the eventual decay of the form as it heads towards the freedom of dissolution. Death frees us from form, and we are liberated once again. We accelerate into the astral planes and become high.

As humans, we get lost in identification with the body. It is a necessary course to take in the university of life. Attachment to the ego self creates the urgency to escape the finite body. We can project into the future and see we are going to perish. We are slowly drowning within form and there's no way out. That's a pretty good game. If you lose the attachment to form and learn the ways of vibratory planes you will start to see the way out of the unpleasant ending of biological life. The first time I tried a psychedelic I was given the knowledge of how to traverse the vibratory planes. I left my body and became the most high. I felt I was in a place of exultation, and it was so exhilarating. When I came back down into my body, I remember being dizzy, nauseous, and having to puke. My finger was tapping wildly on the floor of the jungle maloca as the Great Goddess explained to me all is vibration and schooled me in the ways of astral travel. Being so high from the experience made me eager to do it again. The next time I was sent to the hell regions and instead of being high I was so low. I experienced the classic ego death of consciousness explorers and was frightened by the possibility of losing my identity. I was being shown how attached I was to the small self and though I didn't know it at the time, astral travel requires you to give up the idea of who you think you are. You are so much greater and having an attachment to your earthly concept of identity will prevent you from exploring self and your true nature.

My consciousness journey has slowly unraveled like an onion. Like everyone else on this earth, I began from a place of being this lonely being who was trapped in a world that was not of their making. I wondered why am I here and what is this all about? Well, I progressed to the point where I wanted to explore consciousness and I was terribly naive about the avenues available for exploration. The walking foot path towards the inner sanctum through meditation didn't appeal to me. It's a strange contradiction because I'm a very patient person yet within was a desire to go fast in order to explore what I was seeking. I ended up exploring consciousness through psychoactive chemicals at the invitation of the Great Goddess, whom I had discovered in ancient Egypt. Within no time, I found her and was lifted to the highest of highs into a place of exultation. I was shown I was the divine masculine, and she was my Queen. As expected from this experience, I now saw myself as the light so when in the next journey into obfuscated consciousness I was presented with the lowest of the low and darkness, of course I objectified my dark brother as the other. To make a long story short, it took 8 years to give up the attachment to seeing myself solely as the light and objectifying the darkness as the other. I finally accepted it is all me and this integration has allowed me to proceed in the consciousness course to the path of the heart. I am a fully integrated man. I am the creator and the destroyer; the light and the dark. I am the master of transformation. I am the cause of all the suffering in the world and I can lift the whole world out of suffering.

As I enrolled in the Great Goddess' heart course, I again wondered why I objectified her? I know I'm at lesson 101 so of course I feel this way however from past experience I know I am her when seen from a non-dualistic perspective. But I'm not there yet and so though I intuit the two brothers of light and dark within and recognize them as me I don't have that feeling in regard to the feminine.

I know of the sacred triad and see myself as the coming forth of the desire between the divine masculine and divine feminine. Not only that, but I recognize I have come forth as a man in this go round on the wheel of appearances. It took me into my mid-50s to reconcile the two brothers within. I objectified my darkness as the other while identifying with the good light. Eventually, I got the lesson and vaulted past this spiritual block. I still objectify her though. The love of the Great Goddess - my mother and my heart, I still perceive as external. I know she is within, and I will find the way home when I become love. This is why I lack understanding and still objectify her.

Searching for the one is like an onion. The journey is a recursive attempt to find the fount. I keep seeing two. Duality. I look into self and see two brothers. I bring them together and declare my integrated masculine self, but I do not feel whole without a mate. I look for the feminine who makes me complete. Once I find her and recombine, then we recreate the one. I am a piece of the one. When we combine, the sexual metaphor revealed here on earth demonstrates we create another polarity of either male or female. They are a universe unto themselves and seek out a partner to continue creation. The overarching game is separation which compels you to seek wholeness. Wholeness then leads to another instance of separation. Creation continues the eternal wheel of coming and going. When the two combine into one the world stops.

Underlying the eternal nature of consciousness is three. The one within the two that defines the three. To label the paradox of the perspective states of non-duality and duality is the triad. The triad does not come forth; instead, the three is behind all that cyclically comes forth and returns. As one, we search for our mate. We are Eros, compelled to fulfill the magnetic attraction which satiates desire. The discovery of what makes you complete leads to the two becoming one. This is the grand game which spawns many little games within existence. The one comes forth from the two and the game continues on and on.

In visionary experiences, many times the Great Goddess has presented herself as the butterfly. It was hardly surprising as I pondered the question of my objectification of the divine feminine while out in the woods the next day, that the lessons from my heart continued. A butterfly floated past, and I saw within the exquisite grace and movement of the fluttering of its wings a freedom that was expressing to me the answer I was looking for. Soon, the butterfly found her mate and they were fluttering about in unison. The butterfly is the heart and the representation of the Great Goddess. I know this to be true and I saw the union of the feminine and masculine divine creating this unity that was also expressing such freedom. Butterflies glide through the ether seemingly independent of gravity or laws of thermodynamics. I saw non-attachment and I saw unity. I saw the fundamental nature of all - the union of the two powers of Goddess and God. I intuited the lesson and got the answer I was looking for. The hero's journey I travelled on was to prepare me to fight for my freedom because freedom is the power the heart needs to become whole. Without freedom, the heart will attach to everything. Masculine power gives the heart wings and allows love to flourish in freedom and love all.

The lessons of perspective are front and centre. Remember all is here and now. I know that depending on perspective you see separation or unity. I'm in a body and I'm an objectification machine therefore I see separation. I know when I drop the body and merge into the all I will be in unified bliss but will eventually long for the ice cream cone of freedom and separation in order to experience the wonders of self. What I do is sprinkle the illusion of time into this equation of perspective and project a motion path which in the future will allow me to return to wholeness. But all is here and now. Just because I feel separate doesn't mean I am not unified. It's all in how I look at it. Perspective. Everything is happening now.

It leads back to the lessons of heaven and hell and how I am responsible for creating the conditions which result in the presentation of the world. I've been conscious of world events and the suffering within this hellscape we have created. I have this innate feeling that when you drop the body you don't have a chance of going to hell because you are leaving hell. I have also seen via Huachuma and subsequently magic mushrooms that hell is what I have helped create. I can also contribute to creating heaven on earth. The maestro don Howard would tell us that you don't find heaven; you realize it. Don Howard was a Huachumero of the highest order and based on my experience with the plant, this lesson would have been drummed into his head as well. Huachuma allows you to glimpse the unity of all through the heart, if you let grandfather guide you. Don Howard was preparing students to walk the path of the heart.

So, though I project into the future a heaven of all coming together to live in bliss, the possibility exists upon earth. To change perspective is through changing vibration and witnessing the power of love enact what it is we search and long for. The power remains hidden and unlocked for most because the gateway to the heart offers you a power to manifest all desires and control your surroundings. Everyone wants that power and when you figure out you have it it's hard to give it up for what's behind door number 3. I do wish to walk the path of the heart in earnest, and I know I must walk the path without rigging the game. I must approach it of my own accord with free will.

The path of the heart is what you are left with when all else falls away. After you sift through your bullshit, drop attachments, and walk free through the hellfire of transformation is the gift of clarity. You discover who you are and why you did this. You wanted to be put to the test and still find the way back home and that path is the path of the heart. No matter where you are or how lost you have become, love will lead you back home.

all is vibration

The first time I drank Ayahuasca the Great Goddess told me all is vibration as she was leaving at the end of the night. I remember my finger tapping quickly and rhythmically on the maloca floor as I was coming down back into my body. This knowledge stuck with me though I didn’t really understand it. I wrote a poem about this encounter after I returned home that summed up my feelings.

i am the music

celestial songbird,

with notes of grace.

this warbling Goddess

sings to me.

she tells me

all is vibration.

do i understand?

maybe, maybe not.

the time signature

slowly changes.

forever playing,

the chorus repeats:

her song of love,

forgiveness and longing.

my life is that song.

i am the music.

When I turned 50 I went on a trip where I was determined to finish my spiritual climb up the mountain and I arranged the trip so that I would physically climb mountains. At that point in my journey, I had encountered the dragon plus the requisite fear that meeting inculcates and as a result in order to continue on in my search I successfully transformed myself into a brave warrior. Nothing was going to stop me now on my quest for knowledge. I look back at that point in my life and realize I had the answers I was looking for but hadn’t integrated them yet into understanding but I correctly knew I was at the point where I could finish my climb. I ended up in the Andes mountains in Ecuador drinking Huachuma in the backyard of a local shaman. During the sessions I was given the information of how vibration, frequency, and resonance work and assigned homework to piece it all together so I could fully understand it. Here is what I wrote about this lesson:

It was demonstrated that you can temporarily lower your frequency signature through the use of sound and employing mantras. When your frequency matches another’s, you are in harmony and this resonance allows you to become one with the other that is expressing the same oscillation. First, it was explained how this is the reason why people are attracted to each other. The example given is when two people fall in love as It is not necessarily rational but neither can fight it because they are locked together in harmony. Once I understood this, the lesson was extrapolated into ancient technologies and I was shown how the pyramids were built. Once you find the frequency of the stone you wish to move then you alter the frequency of your workers to match and it allows for easy manipulation of megaton stones as the stone and the builder have become one. The assembling of these grand monuments then became a matter of showcasing design skills as the construction became an execution of plans by manipulating frequency through sound to achieve resonance. While being taught this I kind of thought I already might know this. It just became a case of remembering what I already knew. I became elated with this teaching that was being flooded into my thought processes like a flower opening up to the rising sun. I knew that this knowledge being revealed to me involved homework on my part to verify it as well as delving into mantra that can alter my vibrational signature. This renewed my spirit and I was so enjoying the day with Grandfather. My homesickness abated and I felt in great spirits to finish my odyssey. San Pedro then went on to explain to me how a master frequency or sync pulse is the one we all attach to and creates what we think is reality. It is the hypnotic pulse of who we like to call Satan or the world system/order. To get out of the matrix stop locking to this pulse, create your own, or practice altering your frequency so you don't get attached and stuck in this master world oscillation. Slow time down by raising your good vibrations and leave Satan's morass behind. Be the master of your own world and create your own vibration which will cause people to follow you instead of the common world vibration, which in mythology is the pied piper playing a tune.

I let the process unfold and didn’t try and force it, figuring understanding would come when I was ready. Little did I know my expectations of the length of time a course should take and the time span of courses offered by Grandfather Huachuma were wildly different. At any rate, it has been about four years and the lessons and understanding are hitting me with full force.

The world is made of vibration. The vibration is the interplay between the divine feminine and masculine. The pull of the feminine on the masculine keeps him from accelerating beyond the speed limit of light. The force of the masculine keeps the feminine from decelerating into imperceptible motion. The alternating motion created by their attraction is the frequency of the vibration.

Consciousness is a fancy name for frequency. By this, I mean all the talk of raising consciousness is the same as raising your vibration and locking into a different and higher frequency. Energy is the interplay of masculine and feminine. The game is acceleration versus deceleration. When the masculine is dominant we have liberation from form. When the feminine takes centre stage, we have form. I live in a world of form and I’m in a lower frequency where the energy has locked to a pulse that is slow enough to allow objects to coalesce. The masculine acceleration is used by the feminine to create the massive spin of form resulting in a gravitation pull that allows for biological life in a relatively stable environment. In essence, the wise feminine uses the masculine force against himself. Check and mate! The earth is a playground created by Pachamama for her children. The destructive power of the masculine accelerant moves the game along and doesn’t allow the form to stay forever in one piece thus our world is defined by change. So, consciousness is the rate of vibration that the drama is taking place upon. Within the drama is a spectrum of frequencies that are accessible while in a human body.

The world, as in culture, has a dominant frequency of greed and scarcity that we lock to. It is not set in stone and can change however it is the current paradigm that we play within and in times of frustration call the rat race. As individuals, we are all different and have our own dominant frequency we operate at and most us can move within a couple of these frequencies with relative ease as well as having access to more levels of consciousness. For the most part, most of us never reach these higher levels.

I always kind of smirked when people would bring up astrology and the zodiac. It’s preposterous to a rational man like myself. I mean come on, there’re twelve signs and of the seven billion plus people on earth we can fit everyone into one of those 12 signs like a cookie cutter human? Sorry, does not compute. Alan Watts had a great explanation for the phenomenon. I’ll paraphrase it as your sign is a snapshot of the state of the universe at your time of birth since everything is cyclical. Thinking like an ancient in that you are connected to everything and an expression of the universe, this made sense to me. I read a lot of Carl Jung and came across his 12 Jungian archetypes and did the test. It accurately pegged me as a Sage and this got me thinking if his brilliant mind could boil people down to 12 personality types maybe this astrology thing was on to something?

I’ve been a little obsessed with the Hindu chakras as of late and have been studying them on and off for about a year, letting concepts sink in, and incorporating them into my spiritual practice. Due to my work with the Mesa and Mapacho, I’m very familiar with my inner power and how to manifest it. My nightly dalliances with Kundalini energy moving up with great turbulence through my energy centres allows the inquisitive part of me to try and figure it out. She repeatedly moves up through the seven energy centres and I finally put two and two together. Those chakras are the different frequencies readily available to us humans that I had been given instruction about during my time with Huachuma in the mountains of Ecuador. They are levels of consciousness and everyone of us has access to them but we tend to live within just two of the frequencies. I started doing this exercise where to every one I know I assign a dominant chakra and a secondary chakra. Of course, I easily figured out my two.

The crown chakra is a state of being you can visit but to remain there would take major sacrifice. I am reminded of the stories Ram Dass tells about his guru Maharaji, who spends the day counting his beads and mumbling to himself “ram, ram, ram, ram…” It now seems clear to me what he was doing. He was staying high; so high he stayed in omnipotent crown chakra god mode as long as he focussed on that vibration. I’m sure he would come down to teach but then had his method for getting back up to the crown.

Enlightenment in this context seems to be the process of changing vibration and accessing all frequencies available to an eternal being ensconced within a human body. When you can light them all up and hit the jackpot, instead of just a couple at a time, that seems to be an actual process you could accurately call enlightenment. As you approach the white light time slows down and welcomes you to eternity. I wonder what frequencies of experience await when it comes time to drop the body? When you once again become omnipotent the levels of consciousness must be astronomical. Something I'll look forward to!

Ego is dependent upon the common cultural frequency to which you lock. It’s comfortable to act within your role in a narrowly defined drama. When you alter your consciousness, the ego flags it as a threat. You think you are being hypnotized when in essence you are being deprogrammed and given freedom to scan the consciousness spectrum which causes the ego to go on high alert. The old dependable you, who can be manipulated by the power centres within culture, is waking up. If you keep it up you are going to start breaking character and really tasting all life has to offer.

Okay, so let’s take a quick look at the seven frequencies of the subtle body. Our base chakra called the Muladhara is our wild nature before all the overlays of life are added. It’s our natural physical nature and we see this energy on display within animals. It’s our survival instinct that allows us to go into warrior mode for preservation or run from the danger magnified by fear if necessary. Meet a free-spirited person and they likely have this chakra as one of their main frequencies they traverse. The second chakra is the home to our lusts, desires, passions, and urges which also fuels the creative juices within us. We all know someone who expresses these traits explicitly out in the open while culture forces most of us to bury these passions which in turn causes them to build up to the point the energy must be satiated. Gluttony unchecked and the desire for more is found at this level of consciousness. Satiating desire is so satisfying and thus this is a hard obstacle to get past. The third chakra is our personal power. This powerful mental energy is found in politicians and those who strive to make it in this world. It’s the main frequency of the world, forcing everyone to play the game of fame and fortune to survive. The egomaniac pulses with this power. Lower chakras are what we normally experience in this world and here we find the final block as we strive and drive towards personal greatness. From this "all for me" energetic vibration it’s a short jump to the heart chakra. Breaking past the obstacle of selfishness leads you directly into the heart. The heart is the home of love and compassion that we constantly confuse with the second chakra. Eventual understanding leads to the recognition that in a human body this chakra in the centre is where we find the answer we seek. In duality, the only answer is to unconditionally love all. We are all of the same unfolding energetic pulse. I am you as you are me and we are all together. The fifth chakra is the throat chakra where we learn of the power we have to influence others through our speech. It is describing the magnetic personality of many that can be used to influence and gain power. As with all the levels of vibration, it can be used for positive or negative means. Personally, this chakra reminds me to live in truth and drop the narrative I create about myself. As well, be conscious now that I am older of the effect my words have on the younger generations who are still seeking out their place in life. The sixth chakra is the third eye in the psychic plane. As a natural born mystic, I know all about this chakra though I spent most of my life not knowing of my nature or my connection. Once I discovered a way to alter my consciousness, making a connection with the spiritual realm became second nature. There is a tie in to the creative energy of the second chakra which hints at the sacredness of sexual energy to the spiritual. The seventh chakra is the crown chakra where you return to omnipotence and find yourself as god/goddess. Like I said earlier, you can’t stay there but it’s fun to get a glimpse of omnipotence.

How long can you stay there, well, this goes for any of the vibratory states, is determined by your mastery of each level. From a purely colloquial standpoint, the language used within spiritual circles is pretty spot on. Terms like “I feel blocked” or “I’m going to level up” and “good vibes/bad vibes” are bandied about and the expression of these truths comes from a place within that knows. It really is quite fascinating that deep down we all know what it is we are striving for and the game becomes finding the spark that will help you remember what it is you already know. If you are chasing personal power and can’t give it up you will feel blocked and never reach the next level. Same goes for our lusts, whether that is food, drink, money, sexual pursuits, carnal pleasures and the like. If your vibration constantly pulls you towards these pursuits you’ll expend your precious energy in this frequency. It’s pretty simple to understand once you make the connections, though to put all into practice is a different story.

I was thinking the other night while smoking Mapacho about the great debt I have to some of my spiritual teachers. My rock is the Great Goddess. The Maestro of Maestros is who I call the Dragon. The three main human influences on my path have been Alan Watts, Ram Dass, and don Howard and they all brought their unique strengths and teachings to the table. Alan Watts appeals to me because of his ability to intellectually break down worldwide spiritual concepts which allows for understanding. Ram Dass is very different in that his journey was experiential and there is something to him that is very genuine. His admission that he is a spiritual dilettante is very endearing. I mean why not? The goal of a spiritual discipline should lead you to the god within and the vibratory nature of the universe. How you get there is of no real concern. I met don Howard at a time in my life when I needed guidance on the spiritual path and he provided a place I could trust as well as introducing me to concepts and experiences I would never have come across. The power of the Mesa and my love of Mapacho are directly related to my good fortune of coming into his sphere of influence and I don’t think it was accidental. I mean, I can’t envision my life path and all I have discovered without having met the wizard. Anyway, I bring up these three men because their teachings are multi-faceted and you can listen to them over and over again because when you’re ready you will grok the teaching. I usually joke about listening to Alan Watts’ lectures about ten times before I finally understand the topic. Ram Dass’ teachings are simpler and more heart based. They are laid out pretty straightforward and in this way he is being a conduit for his guru Maharaji. I have mentioned before the simple teaching of Maharaji telling him to "Love all and tell the truth.” This advice is wildly transforming. I happened upon one of his earlier lectures and he was talking about vibration and everything was lining up with what I have discovered in my own experimentation. It’s funny that of course now this is resonating with me. This led to me remembering a three-word slogan he uses. Love Serve Remember. Love all, Serve all, and Remember God.

I grew up chafing at religion, God, and the like so the use of the word God is always slightly problematic. Ram Dass talks of God, guru, and self all being one so I get what he means by remembering God. I finally made the connection of the missing link of vibration and it relates to what this blog post is all about. Maharaji would sit all day with his blanket and mumble “ram, ram, ram, ram…”. Ram being God. Everyday, in his notebook he’d write two pages of “ram, ram, ram, ram…”. He’d have his beads in his hands constantly counting them while remembering God. He mastered vibration and was using these techniques to stay in the crown chakra! So, he gives the simple instruction “Remember God.” You want to hang out at this level of consciousness then it’s really easy. Spend every waking moment doing acts that will bring you to God. You want to be in the heart chakra then Love All and Serve All. That’s it. Easy, right?

acceleration and deceleration

The dream I had a week ago Saturday night will leave me food for thought for quite a while as it was a full plate. During the day, the weather and sunshine contributed to the first spring like day of the year and I spent a great deal of time outside, all the while smoking away on Mapacho. For those unfamiliar with the tobacco maestro, he is a potentiator of dreams, always reminding me that Ayahuasca visions and dreams are of the same world.

So, here’s the dream: I had been hanging out with three other people in a remote location; the identity of the those with me were generic, no one familiar. This particular evening, I went to a sacred spot of visions. There was no catalyst needed; instead you peered into this darkness and it became visionary. With me during this occasion was one of the women. She peered in and then encouraged me to do so. The visions were kaleidoscopic and abstract in nature. I commented that I wished I could record what I am seeing through the auspices of my mind that is interpreting the energy in this portal. The woman with me was talking to me about these revelations and how she needed to show others this place of wonder. She then became part of the experience and started directly communicating with me without speech. I have previously experienced this modality of communication during Ayahuasca ceremonies with the Great Goddess. Eventually, I felt the woman I was in communion with merge into me until she squeezed my chest and heart so much I felt smothered and couldn’t breathe. I physically felt these sensations though I was dreaming which eventually woke me up. The suffocation stopped once I stopped struggling and accepted the hug. When I came to, I was in a wtf state for a bit before I started trying to comprehend the dream. I wasn’t scared though I had some adrenaline flowing from the experience and recurring tingles throughout my body because of the excitement. It was a bit of a shock however a testament to my experience on this path that I did not get frightened or have some kind of panic about what transpired but instead I experienced recurring chills in regards to how real it was. Mapacho makes the dream so real it makes me question the reality I live in. I have indeed dreamt before a dream that fingered Mapacho as the potentiator of the mental energy behind this reality we think is really real.

I have a few initial takeaways from the dream. The major one was the feminine spirit I felt merge with me and squeeze me like a constrictor. I tried to figure out who she represents but, in the end, I think she is an amalgamation of the feminine divine. The dream is showing me the underlying desire of the feminine to possess. They want to hold on so tight and sometimes it leads to smothering. Lately, I have been marvelling at the symbol of the serpent for the feminine because of how in life too much love can lead to feeling suffocated much like a boa constrictor would squeeze the life out of you. The way out is not to avoid love but to let it happen. Let the serpent constrictor have her embrace, celebrate her love, find balance, and proceed to once again disengage and go your separate ways. I also thought about the human custom of hugging and how it uniquely captures the instinct to love, squeeze, and possess. Further clarity on that dream is I remember an Ayahuasca ceremony in 2016 where the Goddess as a green boa entered into my body and took up residence in me. I’d have to believe then the woman with me at the visionary site was her. She was reminding me of the need to stay heart strong on this path.

Another takeaway is something intuitive where I have noticed the feminine has this occult power resident within that I’m not sure they even understand. It is magical and sends out vibrations that are intent upon enchantment. I say this because of certain women I meet who I know become interested in the vibe I put out and in turn they want to possess it. I don’t say this in terms of self-aggrandizement or wanting to give myself an ego boost but instead recognize it for what it is. Ultimately, I am walking a path that has to remember liberation is the key ingredient. I believe the dream represents an obstacle on the path being the tendency of the feminine to ensnare, not in a devious and plotting manner, but in a loving way and this makes you give up the path towards the answer to the mystery and parallel journey that calls out to you. You sacrifice the odyssey to tend to the needs of the feminine archetype which is to create family. In parallel, men also have an instinct to possess, we like to collect things, which in turn enslaves us. I remember a Ram Dass talk teaching the way out of this behaviour. It’s to treat all as the beloved instead of continuously collecting individual manifestations of the beloved. My first cycle of work with Ayahuasca in 2013 dealt with this very predicament. The masculine energy I was in communion with was presenting as a madman and was spouting off about the feminine in a very misogynist tone. I remember sitting there in the dark in the middle of the jungle listening to this and wondering what I had got myself into? I was being told the subjugation of the feminine was because of her charms that took the man repeatedly away from his reason for being here in form in the repeat of his incarnation. To walk the path of the hero was thwarted by settling down into domestic hell. I didn’t know it at the time but this appearance of a madman was just one of the ways the divine masculine can manifest in vision. Sometimes, he’s stark raving mad, pulsing with energy, and other times he’s a wise grandfather. I now celebrate them all. At that particular time, he came on in this way to teach me the lesson. Well, that and to chase me away to see if I had the courage and fortitude to return and take up my sword of liberation.

The thing about the hero’s journey calling out to you is that it leads to liberation of not only the masculine spirit within but will also free the feminine from the masculine’s desire to possess. When the masculine pursues the feminine he becomes a collector, and being the stronger of the two powers he ends up locking her up in a castle made of gold or in some cultures she is veiled and never let out without being escorted by her husband or brothers. The path of freedom leads to extricating oneself from cultural constructs and at the same time making this freedom available to all.

I also recall Ram Dass telling a story where his guru Maharaji-ji told him he should be alone. I don’t have a Maharaji but I do know I need to be alone. The pitfall is that if I spend too much time alone I become destructive so once again it leads me towards seeking balance. Then the scales tip in the other direction and I have to extricate myself out of the ensuing predicament. Ram Dass further explained this advice with the caveat that though he should be alone, contradictory he should be with others. What this advice is getting at are the subjects of freedom and attachment. You can be around others and enjoy them however do not get attached. You’ll sacrifice your freedom on the altar of possessive love or co-opt your ideals to fit in with the group and it’s game over. The journey comes to a sudden stop. Maybe next time you’ll beat the game. Therein lies the rub. There’s always a next time so we fall into the trap and say we have come far in this incarnation and we’ll get them next time. There’re no guarantees. I got a good roll of the dice this time around thus being on to the game, I think I should see it through to where it is leading me this time around.

Overall, the dream is forcing me to concretize what I already know. The impetus of the dream is to get me to examine the nature of the universe and develop my thoughts into a coherent structure that unlocks the mystery of just what is. It’s the next lesson on the path where I knew the masculine was energetic outpouring but the feminine was a mysterious power that entrapped the masculine in order to create form. I wasn’t sure of the mystery. I got it now. The epiphany followed the dream. The energy is masculine and feminine. The masculine is acceleration and the feminine is deceleration and that constitutes what just is. The masculine wants to go fast, to be free, to shine, to roam, and to be unencumbered. The feminine wants to slow it all down, hug it out, unity, love, and create form. Deceleration creates the world of form. Acceleration is the destroyer that seeks to liberate itself from form. That is the mystery.

This simple description of the pulse of energy being acceleration and deceleration plays out on the world stage in the behaviours of the man and the woman. I take a walk in the woods and look at the massive girth of a mature tree and just see decelerated energy that has taken on form. All biological life is this energy of the universe decelerated into innumerable patterns with the acceleration of the masculine polarity giving it life. Within our forms are the two gendered charges creating and destroying life in a continuous cycle. It’s so awesome, empowering, and at the same time comforting to understand this lesson. Even in the world of electronics, I see this concept at work in the idea of the computer replicating the biological life form where the divine feminine is the form of the computer and the divine masculine is the electrical power that gives life to the form. The makings of this construct is also witnessed in the animal kingdom where the instinct animals are said to run on, the law of the jungle and the survival of the fittest, are the traits of the masculine power. The feminine is the form and the traits of the great mother overtake the animal when they are flooded with estrogen during pregnancy and motherhood.

This knowledge I have been sitting with for a while but it’s only now the understanding has come. I have previously described all life as being a verb in the sense that nouns are objects and anything we can lay claim to that does not transform is dead. Life is transformation. Fighting transformation is useless and leads to suffering in the same sense that the Tao Te Ching teaches that swimming against the current leads to frustration and counsels you to go with the flow. Accept that the gift of life is enabled by transformation as opposed to fighting change and the requisite suffering. Once the body stops transforming it dies but the death of the vehicle leads to continual transformation of the energy sustaining that body; free once again to enliven another form. The ancient Egyptians perfectly understood this concept and assigned to the scarab beetle called Khepri the representation of this continual process of the universe. One of the regal names of the Pharaohs of the 18th dynasty included a variation of this theme of transformation. The Pharaoh’s name you see encircled in a cartouche, called the prenomen by Egyptologists, emotes this idea of transformation. The prenomen of Pharaoh Akhenaten is “Neferkhepure-Waenre” which recalling my knowledge of ancient Egyptian means something like, “beautiful are the transformations of light.” His son, the famous Pharaoh Tutankhamen, prenomen is “Nebkheperure” which translates to the “Lord of the transformations of light.” The ancient Egyptians were spiritual masters of the knowledge of energy and its continual transformations.

The masculine impetus of the eternal flame climbs the mountain of appearance. The power inherent in the speed of light accelerates to the top, suffers in his journey, and finally shines in grandeur for all to admire. The feminine deceleration of the energy takes the path of least resistance back downhill towards unity until the masculine leaves once again, fully rested, to seek out adventure.

This blog space is a testament to my journey of discovery where I don’t want to come across as having all the answers. I certainly did not and I can look back on my journey and see that it was a progression where I detailed what I needed at the time knowing that I had so much still to discover. As I have progressed upon the path so much has been revealed, a little at a time, and then I have to understand the knowledge. Once I understand the concept, I move on to the next lesson. The obstacles in the path are removed and I advance unencumbered to the next block of teachings.