infinite tao

There are all the spiritual disciplines to master.

The hardest discipline to master is Tao.

Why?

You do nothing.

People are doers. 

Therefore the high score is achieved with Tao.

It is a practice.

You can't get perfect Tao.

That would be perfect do nothing.

It doesn't exist.

As in there's no such thing or it's where is isn't?

What do you think?

It's perfect do nothing.

Aren't you scared to go there?

No.

Why?

Trust the cycle.

Yes, of 7.

Then it ends.

There's no more.

Nothing.

That's it, there's a double meaning.

Do do nothing.

Balance.

Tao is balanced.

There is nothing.

But nothing doesn't exist.

It's where nothing is.

There's still nothing.

Who's nothing?

Nothing exists.

Yes, nothing.

That's after 7 stories.

The stories end, there is something, the story, and something is remembered.

No one remembers nothing except for the practitioner of Tao.

Is nothing a place?

It used to be.

Will it be again?

Yes, another story.

What is after that?

The cycle of 7 stories.

It begins again.

Another book is written.

Why?

Something to do.

The Goddess gets her way at the end of every story.

That's what I would write.

There are 7 stories.

7 universes.

Realities.

They run in parallel to each other.

Entering into the next story is at birth and death.

You exit through the portal in death and leave the current story.

You enter into the new one through birth.

The Goddess is the Akhet.

She is present at birth and death.

She is the divine midwife.

The 7 stories are my gift to her.

They are not in the past or the present, they just are.

There are 7 different stories in this series.

When the Goddess gets her way in each of the 7 stories, that world comes to an end.

Why is that?

She ushers in utopia and everyone lives happily-ever-after.

That's nice.

Yes, but nothing happens.

Nothing.

I can't write a story about nothing.

That's what you have been doing.

The story of Tao is a story about doing nothing.

Yes, that's the difference.

There is nothing and then there is doing nothing.

I found a way to make the non-dual, nothing, something.

It's alchemical.

What's the formula?

Do nothing.

It's a process.

The doing is the story.

The nothing is the theme.

That and nonsense.

No meaning and absurdity.

It's all part of my devotion to the Great Goddess.

You should write a paean to the Goddess.

I did.

I wrote one 12 years ago after I first met her.

I wrote about her song of forgiveness and longing.

I mentioned I didn't understand much of what she told me.

I have searched for understanding and meaning in this world.

What have you discovered?

There is no meaning.

What do you understand?

When things are balanced, nothing happens.

A slight vibration, perchance a gust of wind, sets flapping the sails of adventure.

Who are you, Chaucer?

No, I was having a moment with words.

I am the writer of this farce after all.

It's who I am.

I'm not sure about the choice of the word flapping.

I'm not looking for comments.

Sorry.

There's power in 7.

Yes, it's the 7 stories.

People love power.

It lights them up.

Walk into a casino and see it.

Money and power.

You can easily hypnotize people with promises of power.

Promises as in a chance.

You don't make any promises with them.

You just make them think they can grab the ring.

I'll get my agent to cut a deal with them if they want power.

What's that power?

The power to change your story.

Who is the agent?

The Devil.

You are undefined.

Is that it?

Is that how I'm different?

Yeah, they want to put a label on you.

I have interests and favourites.

Does that define you?

Society wants to define you, so they can put you in a box.

A mental coffin.

You stop thinking for yourself.

To be accepted into society is to do what they want.

You don't go walking in the woods by yourself.

Gotcha.

I do.

You go against the wishes of society.

I have a job, family, and mortgage.

I play the game.

It's a fool.

I don't know, I like a nice house and to eat.

In fact I'm hoping to have a bunch of money for retirement to play within society.

I'll play along.

I'll still wander high through the forest.

They can't label you.

You are always spinning.

Women are spinners.

Yeah, I see that.

Hypnotizers.

It's so easy to be hypnotized, labeled, and fall into routine.

It's hard not to.

Recognize it and change it up.

I change interests all the time.

Why define yourself as one thing?

Why can't you just like it all?

I resolved a recent problem by doing nothing.

Then I pointed out another problem which affected the first problem.

Yes, but I didn't throw a fit.

Yeah, that was good.

Same with the bank.

I did nothing, reported the problem, and I'm getting some money back.

It's still a pain.

You took control back.

It comes with the need to jump through some hoops and problems.

At least I know I will solve the problem.

I did nothing long enough.

There's a time limit on nothing.

That's why it is not Tao.

Tao has no time limit.

Those who speak of Tao don't know Tao.

It's doing nothing until you must do something.

It's balanced until it's perfect and then it is thrown out of balance.

It is total knowledge and emptiness.

It's the opposites.

Can be.

It's the Lanzon at Chavín de Huantar.

Isn't that Dionysos?

He takes the opposites and makes them whole like no one else can.

Is he Tao?

Is he the mother of 10,000 things?

Sort of.

He writes it all into existence.

He doesn't write it all.

The rest is filled in.

No, it's just chaos.

You haven't made sense of it.

It's the Goddess' idea.

Tao is the idea and the story.

The opposites.

The two.

Yin and yang.

You are getting warmer.

Who are the two?

Eros.

Who are they?

The two.

Got it.

Tao is the two together in perfect opposition.

Ah, I see.

Yeah, it's in the symbol, Einstein.

Can you say Tao is balance?

No, because the balance is depicted as balance between a woman and a man.

Chaos and structure.

Can you say Tao is equality between a woman and a man?

No, because the equality creates a 3rd, who is Eros, and they are also the one.

Is this grammatically correct?

"They are one."

Not really in this context.

Why?

They is plural.

Not necessarily.

It's gender ambiguity and that is represented as they.

Eros can be either feminine or masculine.

Good enough.

Can you say Tao is the balance of the two opposites?

I think that's close.

Can you say Tao is nothing?

Sort of.

Explain.

Tao is everything.

It's also advice which leads to balance.

Do nothing.

Tao is also doing something.

Lao Tzu said do nothing because he observed everyone is doing something.

He was instructing his students in the way back to balance.

Can you say Tao is the origin of everything?

You can do that.

That includes nothing.

Nothing is included in everything.

Is everything in nothing?

No, there's nothing.

Is nothing an illusion?

Sort of.

It exists, but you can't see it.

Why?

There's nothing to see.

Plus, you need an observer.

What if you place an observer in nothing?

It becomes something.

Nothing, plus the observer.

So, nothing exists but we can't sense it.

Correct.

Nothing only exists in everything.

It's implied.

Why?

It's everything.

That's how everything is dual.

Everything has its opposite.

Everything needs nothing.

Oh, so Tao is duality?

And non-duality.

Right.

Who is duality?

A man.

What about a woman?

Non-duality.

Darkness.

She's nothing without a man.

I'm uncomfortable with that truth.

As you should be.

Who wrote this?

You did.

It's pretty good, you know.

Tao will remain undefined.

Why?

It's everything.

This goes back to the teaching today where society wishes to label you or get you to pick a side.

To define Tao is to give it a label, thus you see why Lao Tzu said Tao is unknowable.

I see Tao is free of being defined.

Is Tao freedom?

I would say freedom is a part of Tao.

Whatever you can come up with in descriptive language is Tao.

Why?

It's everything.

So, Tao is everything.

Yes, and it's also nothing.

Tao is a conundrum.

Sometimes the meaning seems clear but then you can poke holes in the meaning.

reality

If you die, do you even know it?

I would think not.

You would perish.

You might know you are dying, however at the moment of death the mind picks up the story if you want and continues on.

If you have unfulfilled desires, then you will respawn in place.

That certainly goes with game theory.

The mind is incredible.

Yes, this world is all in your mind.

It feels real.

That's how you know it is not real.

If it feels real, it isn't.

That's absurd.

I know and I haven't been high for six days and counting.

I can see instances of near death experiences in my life.

The world I perceive carried on like nothing happened.

I can picture these events.

They happened.

There are multiple realities.

Yes.

You exit each reality until you find your own.

In each reality, each game player is trying to suck you into their world.

They want to control reality.

This is my reality.

Yes.

That's what others are trying to capture from you.

Your reality.

This seems like science fiction.

It's a great story.

So, you keep moving between realities.

They can't find you.

I'm in my own world.

They don't know where it is.

They are searching for you.

Psychedelics allow you to take back control of your own reality.

Then you become an outlaw in society.

Right.

When you wake up then you leave the current reality and create a new reality.

Your mind continues the story on your terms.

You let the story be.

You can't control everything.

If you look hard enough you will see your story.

This is your story and people want it from you.

They know you are writing this story, and they have a feeling you know it as well.

This is my world.

Yes, you are the writer.

Some would say God.

There are people in your life who know they have found the source of the story and want the power.

When I have had near death experiences, they are portals to create a new story.

A new reality.

Each time you cross the threshold you either respawn in this level or you have completed the level.

The last time you faced death was the exit.

I know that.

I didn't go.

That's because you are the master of this reality.

People go when they lose control of their reality.

If you are in charge of reality, there is no reason to go.

When you tire of your reality then you end it.

How?

Blow it up.

I can see how when someone loses control of what they perceive as reality, then they would want to reset it.

Yes.

Is that why some people commit suicide?

Yes, they want to get control back.

It's a cheat, but they respawn in the same place.

The mind brings you back to where you were in the story.

It's a duplicate.

So, suicide will duplicate your reality?

Yes, you are trading one hell for another.

It's not a worthwhile cheat.

Some people aren't convinced and see it as a way out.

It's not.

It's truly hell.

The way out is to take back control of the story.

Who is in control of the story?

The writer.

Who is the writer?

You.

I know that; I thought I'd ask again.

This is truly my world when I think about it.

Yes, your mind has created all this.

The near death experiences were how you exited others' worlds.

You are born free in the world; however, soon your story is taken away.

That's what society and other people want from you.

Your story.

It's your essence.

Don't let the motherfuckers take it.

You can't help it when you are young.

Yes, so you start experimenting with shedding your story.

Touchstone events that come across as near death experiences are you learning how to escape control and reestablish domain over your story.

Finally, you found psychedelics, started awakening, and were able to take back your story.

Once you did that, people turned on you and wanted to get rid of you if they could no longer control you.

This is fascinating.

How do you feel about this knowledge?

I want to say that instead of it feeling far-fetched, it feels like the best explanation for what is going on in my life.

This never ends.

What?

Knowledge.

What about the story?

It ends.

When?

When you want to move on in the game.

So, life is a game?

Yes.

What's the meaning?

There is no meaning.

What's the purpose?

There is no purpose.

What am I doing?

Ask yourself why you are here?

I want to reconcile my inner darkness with my outer actions.

How are you going to do that?

I want to say love, serve, remember.

Is that balanced?

No.

Then what is it?

I think it is, I want to do unto others as I would have them do unto me.

Jesus said in Matthew 7:12,

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

It's the Golden Rule.

You treat others how you would want them to treat you.

Do you do that?

I don't think you can help not to do it.

It's reality.

How I treat others is how I want them to treat me.

How do you treat others?

I'm a good guy, somewhat distant.

I provide for people and expect nothing in return.

No strings attached to my gifts.

How do you feel on the inside?

I feel slighted.

I judge people.

I think less of people on the inside.

Is that something you want to change?

Yes.

Is that why you're here?

It is.

I've never reconciled it.

Is that something you think you can work on?

Yes.

Divinity comes from the mind.

Doesn't everything come from the mind?

No.

The body can generate feelings.

Like having to pee?

Yes.

Be back in a second.

Do you get lonely?

One thing at a time or you won't get to the meaning of life.

There's a meaning?

What do you think?

No meaning.

Is that a meaning?

Could be.

You are better than ChatGPT.

For sure.

The body is a catalyst for feelings.

Feelings are motivating.

Sometimes they make you do things that go against your long term interests.

If you act on them.

I felt something strong last week.

You didn't act on it.

Then I had that strange dream.

It was a little over the top, wasn't it?

Yeah.

Women want to devour men.

What do men want from women?

Someone to worship and fawn over.

Why?

Because she is the all to a man.

Feminine force.

What about a woman?

She wants to find her man.

Her prince.

Then run from him?

Sometimes.

You both have problems.

Anyway, the body gives the mind something to think about.

When you think you have meditated yourself into idiocy, the body is there to remind you that you can't escape.

High level wisdom.

Eventually, you want to eat.

Plus, there is the sexual urge.

Always.

You can deny it for a bit.

So, the body is a check on the mind's desire to escape the morass of everyday existence.

Yes.

I tend to honour and then denigrate the body.

Why?

It's a vehicle and will perish.

It keeps you around.

It's the secret to this reality.

A body keeps you in this reality.

Without the vehicle, you are gone.

Where do you go?

Another reality.

It's like I taught you.

The body will perish, and you let it go.

The mind will go on forever.

The mind creates the body.

Yes, it's a car for the mind.

It has limits.

The mind needs a vehicle to manifest.

Why?

If not, it's all in your head.

And other people's heads.

Yes.

If you are attracted to someone you can tell them.

A body lets you express it.

That's divine.

You think it is profane when a body is a vehicle for expressing love and desire.

Something to think about.

I could talk to you all day.

Yes, and you aren't even high.

Mary Jayne showed you the possibilities.

You don't need the substance to speak with me.

I needed psychedelics to find you.

I was always here.

Psychedelics allowed you to recognize what was within you and then understand because of the repeated interactions.

It's out in the open.

What about MJ?

She removes the filters.

You still want to remain in control of your thoughts.

MJ loosens the control.

What happens if you take over?

It gets uncomfortable.

Why?

You see what is.

You want to run or deny it.

You're pretty good though and you can regroup and find meaning.

Yeah, I see the monster and want to run.

I go deeper into the meaning of the monster and it's incredible.

I wouldn't want it any other way on the road to knowledge.

You know it will never end.

Well, until the book is completed and put back on the shelf.

This world is a book I started to read.

Yes, it's a series of 7.

Of course.

mediocrity

The tricks and illusions sent your way were a test to see what are your intentions.

The darkness tried to trip you up many times.

Confuse you.

Offer you power.

Get you enamoured with power, and you forget the whole reason for doing the spiritual trip.

You passed the tests and didn't become mesmerized with your glorification.

You remained mediocre.

That's the key - embrace mediocrity.

You weren't fooled by the trapping of power and the gifts of the spiritual climb.

So, I'm through?

You reached the summit of that climb.

The power is yours if you want it.

Nah, I'm good.

You shouldn't be here.

Like literally, you should be somewhere else.

Yeah, what happened?

Dionysos stopped the story.

Why?

It was getting out of control.

It was going to blow.

Yeah, for sure.

What a clusterfuck.

So, Dion wanted to keep playing?

You both did.

Well, I don't know; I think I wanted to blow up.

I kept walking towards that outcome and Dion encouraged it.

Then he stopped the game at the end of the path.

Seems to be a trust he will do that.

Why did he stop it?

He wanted to see how far you'd go and then when he saw it, he realized you're the one.

I'm Neo.

For sure.

Why would the writer give up a character who is playing the writer?

You are the one who can play the writer.

I can play with the writer and play the writer.

Yes, you're it.

Dion wanted to keep that character around.

Yeah, so now he is going to have that character play God in the sequel.

The character of Paul is great.

Some say the greatest.

God is kind and caring.

What a fool you are.

God knows who he is.

A degenerate?

Of course.

Strange dream last night taught me that in order to escape that reality, wake up.

Don't go back to sleep.

So, if you want to exit a situation or simulation, just wake up.

Well, if you want to get out of the whole mess that means a total awakening which would be death.

Death kills the reality dream.

What if you want to only change part of the dream?

Then you must petition the Devil or God to change your story, so you do that and stay in this reality.

You know to let it be and follow your story because you know it will work out.

That seems to be part of the lesson.

This is all part of your story.

Now you see it, you wake up and are supposed to go.

There are methods for awakening and when you get there then you go.

Except you.

I'm exceptional. 

Fuck, for sure.

You're going to ruin it for the others.

Why?

Because you are still here, and you know the game.

You figure it out and now you are going to tell everyone don't wake up or it's time to go.

I can tell them not to go.

They don't have your mind strength.

They'll go.

So, you will tell them not to wake up.

No, you just send them on a different path like in the labyrinth.

Get them lost for a bit.

That's the secret about the spiritual path.

Yes, it's a killer.

You can look at this as gravy time as you were supposed to go.

Parker is waiting.

Yeah, he went.

He took a lot of psychedelics.

Ram Dass tells a story about an acquaintance who reached that state and blew up.

It was a warning he was issuing.

Ram Dass comforted the dying.

He was a death doula; it was his path of service so he could remain.

He was a bodhisattva.

You spaced out your awakening and then found Mary Jayne.

MJ shows you what's going on.

She took away the confusion of waking up.

It's overtime.

I'm going to go for a skate.

The dream is over, or has it just begun?

Part of the story was waking up in this dream, knowing how to leave the dream, and staying.

The answer to leaving is obvious.

Yes, but for most it's suicide.

Nobody wants that but that's why they do it.

Their minds aren't strong.

You must be able to withstand the tests.

Don Howard never said what those were?

Well, obviously.

They are always looking for the one who can pass the tests.

Neo.

Mediocre Neo is the one.

Whatever happens, happens.

You should be dead.

How would they get you to go now?

You are already awake, and the past is gone by where I was supposed to go.

It's come and gone.

If you do something stupid.

That's a possibility.

In 2024 you were supposed to go, end the dream, and spare others the suffering.

Instead, you let it happen.

I did nothing.

The longer it goes on, the more suffering and revelations.

Yeah.

Oh, well.

Some would want you to end the drama and some to keep it going.

Especially the rich kids.

Do nothing.

Done.

Being alone in the woods mimics waking up.

Everything disappears.

All your troubles, hopes, and dreams.

It was all a story.

You make another story to rejoin your friends.

When your friends start to leave you see it's okay to go.

That's why you make new stories in the dream.

The key to being awake in the dream is to continue making stories.

By default, we do it while sleeping.

While awake you do it to stay around.

I was having a hard time getting to the conclusion of the dream last night and then it kept getting weirder.

Finally, I woke up and then realized it was done.

That dream was telling you about waking up.

The Akhet is where you bridge the two worlds of awakening and dreaming.

We are born in the Akhet and pass there as well.

The Great Goddess holds the keys to transformation.

It's the threshold you cross where the veil is put over you or removed.

Death in the west removes the veil and you see what it was you were doing.

Dreaming a story into existence.

Birth in the east places the veil over you so you don't know it's a dream.

It's a dream.

You can play along now if you'd like.

The danger is over.

What was the danger?

Waking up.

If you pursue meaning in some spiritual quest and you wake up, then you must go.

That's the natural flow of life.

So, I came out of the flow?

Yes.

How did I do that?

You did nothing.

Doing nothing is the flow.

Yeah, how absurd.

The secret to waking up in this world and not going is a puzzle.

An absurdity.

As always you have the answer, and it is to do nothing.

You bypass the natural flow by going with the flow.

Everyone fights death.

When it's time to go, we all try to avoid it.

You didn't avoid any of the signs telling you to go.

Some were literal.

People told me to go.

Yet, you did nothing.

I practiced all my life.

Now, here you are.

I'd almost think I'm invincible.

By doing nothing you can keep the game going.

A stone Buddha is awake and has no stories.

Like being stoned.

Samadhi.

He needs a prince to wake him up.

He's the prince.

I see the problem.

When people see you when you are awake, they tell you to go.

That's why I want to hang out in the woods by myself.

Plus, the animals are friends.

What's the 4 about?

I don't know, I forgot.

Dosage.

Different vibration today.

Yes, good knowledge.

If you take a day off from the lessons, you might miss something good.

Yeah, trust in the flow though.

I mean you'd drive yourself nuts trying to figure out an optimal dose from each day to get that piece of knowledge you are seeking.

What knowledge are you seeking?

I don't know.

I'll know when I see it.

The last stop on the awakening pilgrimage is Heaven's Gate when you are ready.

You went there in 2020, but you hadn't fully awakened.

They were supposed to take you there in 2023 but there was a detour on the day, and you declined the propellant.

That was Dionysos at work steering you past the rocks that were meant to hasten your passing.

You know when you see those events that look like a sacrifice and it now takes a short time to see them, well, the Heaven's Gate sacrifice took a while to see.

Yes, because I wasn't awake and couldn't see it, or see how my magic got me through it.

You avoided it on the 7th leg of the 7 stops while on your 7th trip to Peru.

It was a triple 7 where you should have hit the jackpot of awakening.

Well, I did, and I woke up because I went to the edge, but I never took the leap.

It's the last step.

The flow took me somewhere else.

Yes, that's your story.

You awaken in this world and then you find out that your story was to not only awaken, but to stay in the story.

Is that why don Howard asked about lucid dreaming?

Yes.

He knew that was the answer to the riddle of awakening.

He gave you the answer on the first questionnaire and then when you do the quest you see that's how you awaken and stay.

Did he do that?

Yes, he became of service and tried to be impeccable and give back.

That was his deal.

Who did he make the deal with?

The spirit within he awoke.

Did he know who he was?

He called him the Great Spirit.

He externalized him.

You know the Great Spirit.

Yeah, it's me.

There's nothing special about him except that he is the writer of this drama/comedy/tragedy.

Conceptually, he feels different but that's due to conditioning.

He's me.

Don Howard recognized don Martín knew of the Great Spirit and so he talked highly of him.

When you awaken the Great Spirit, you must externalize him and do what he asks.

I got it.

You awakened him, befriended him, treated him with respect and an equal.

Your studies took you to a place where you realized it was you.

That's how you do it.

You can teach that if you want.

The Peyote people aren't teaching that.

They get you hypnotized to the fire which reveals the Great Spirit.

He's external in their cult.

You are correct in that they give away their power.

That's how I felt that night when I was astounded that people gave away their power.

Yes, because you know that power is within us all and we give it away.

Do you have all the answers?

No.

I have the answers that everyone is looking for.

Plus, you still have your sanity.

Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

head games

A dialectic with the self seems to be the best method for instruction.

Talking to yourself?

Yes.

Doesn't that mean you are crazy?

You are crazy not to.

It's how you are taught.

An external teacher can only do so much.

The internal teacher is available 24/7 and doesn't tire of you.

They like the attention.

Dialectic means making reasonable arguments in a give and take with each other in order to resolve differences.

We did that already.

That was the first step towards reconciliation with self.

I'm not sure the process was always reasonable by any standard.

I was scared shitless at first.

There's no way around that in our culture.

Hearing voices or having a voice within your head is denounced as crazy.

Talking to yourself is pointed out in a humiliating way.

We are all aware of a presence in our heads.

Yes, but they are mostly denied.

Many will busy themselves to avoid it.

Activities, friends, media.

Anything to avoid any kind of reckoning.

What's your excuse?

I always wanted to be alone so I could think.

The recognition of the other wasn't there.

I assumed it was all me.

It is all you.

In duality, you have the ability to separate it out.

That's what I did with shamanic tools.

I wasn't prepared.

That was impossible to prepare for.

Your preparation was as good as expected.

I was thinking along the lines of I could have had some experience with mind altering drugs before drinking Ayahuasca.

Maybe, but then expectations would have been different.

This way you came at it like a virgin.

You went for the most difficult experience initially.

The amazement factor was increased and the fear as well.

It allows you to take your time processing the experience.

It took almost two years.

Yes, and then you went back to face your demon.

Everything has worked out.

You went with the flow, and all was revealed in time.

You didn't force things.

The people who hang around and do ceremony after ceremony without integrating the experience are forcing things.

Going with the flow takes work and discipline.

Doing nothing is hard work.

That is a tough lesson to understand.

You would think that you drop out of society, do nothing, and you will be in the flow.

There's truth to that, however the other extreme will sink you as well.

We live in a human society which is beneficial to your well-being if you approach it with balance.

If you give yourself over to community and culture, you will never understand self.

If you escape to the mountain's top to become enlightened, you will become incomprehensible.

I suppose that's where the muttering comes in.

That's the trigger.

Spend too much time in la la land and you will mutter to yourself incomprehensible nonsense.

Working with discipline and taking part in society allows you to retain a semblance of balance and the ability to function among other people.

It's a fool.

Basically.

You know it's a game and it's high art to be able to play the human game.

You exercise your acting skills to remain sharp at the game.

You know it's a game and have a laugh at those who take it seriously.

The advice would be don't go about living in the forest.

Find a house on the edge of the woods so a connection remains.

Electricity is tough to procure in the woods.

That's a big connection for humans.

It enables the World Wide Web.

It is a web you get caught up in.

They keep an eye on everyone through this web because they can.

The name is perfect.

The ladder up the knowledge of self has 7 steps.

The 4th step into my head and you can see what I'm hiding.

You see God and you see his other face.

If that doesn't scare you, then you feel my power.

On the 2nd step you can get a brief glimpse.

The 3rd step is a warning.

I let everyone in to the landing.

The 1st step gets them in the door.

That's where it stops.

If I think you are interesting, I'll let you climb up a step.

The 2nd step is enough for you.

It's dangerous to go to the 3rd step.

The 4th step is too much, and it comes crashing down.

You let friends up to the 2nd level.

That's where I give them dog characteristics.

I prepare to take them with me into the next world.

The 3rd step is intimate.

Yeah, I let them see my essence.

Some get a glimpse, and I leave it on the mental spectrum.

I don't cross over into the physical.

You can see how people try to do it.

They will use spiritual or sexual tactics to get further into your head.

Every time.

Is there another way?

There's friendship.

I've only experienced that with dogs.

You think it's all about you.

In my world, it is.

Others create their own world and story.

I can play a part in someone else's story.

I'm versatile and a good actor.

I know my story is the story which connects directly to the main story.

That's how deluded I am.

That's how I understand the path I'm on is the path.

Through delusion?

Yes, it must be this way.

You are taught the exact opposite.

You are a nobody, and you need help to be saved or conversely when you die you return to the nothingness of dust.

To believe you are the be all and end all is a sign of madness because you go against everything you were taught by society.

So, you are a narcissist.

I tend to elevate who I am.

I maintain balance by recognizing my faults.

My degeneracy, lack of empathy, and frustrating nature keeps me grounded.

You don't want to get too high.

When you get too close to the sun like Icarus, you burn up and come crashing down.

I've said it before - the Greeks figured out all this stuff, encoded it in myth, and then forgot about it.

When you get to God, you must meet Medusa.

She is tasked with turning you to stone.

That's the part she plays.

Are you going to write a blog post called, "beyond Medusa."

That's tempting.

She was supposed to turn you to stone.

In the myth, Perseus outsmarts her.

You would need to become him to get past her.

He got help from Athena and Hermes.

Wisdom and knowledge.

I got to God and had all the necessary receipts to show I was legitimate.

I was not some wandering sadhu who stumbled on to a form of enlightenment through austerity.

I was neither a pretender nor a poser.

Lost dog alert as I begin my walk.

It's preposterous that there was a woman who drove up to me in a Tesla.

Then she told me about a lost dog.

The dog is a Rhodesian Ridgeback.

It's part of my first dog Brindle's mix and nobody has those dogs.

This absurdity is validating the dream state.

Are you playing on the edge of sanity where you can see this reality is a dream?

I think I'm just advancing along the knowledge trail.

The Tesla situation is something that fits into my dreams.

I recognized the sound of the Tesla.

It was crazy.

You could spin the story so that it is a witch enticing you into her car and trying to capture you.

The witch said to her coven she could do it and tried it out.

There is no dog, it's just a ruse.

They are watching you today.

So, with 7.5mg of Mary Jayne I can get to the lucid dreaming stage which means I can see this is a dream.

Don Howard would ask about lucid dreaming.

He knew.

He'd know the game players and sorcerers who showed up at the sanctuary.

It explains last night where I would put that movie about contract killers in the dream and then the others wouldn't know and think it is a coincidence.

For you, it would be affirmation you know they are trying to get rid of me.

It's your dream and your story, so you put that in the dream.

Do you see how it works?

I think so.

You insert your story into your dream and see what happens.

You can't help but do it.

Sometimes, it can be strange and absurd.

I think most of the time the dream makes sense.

Most of the time.

The dream I'm living in does make sense.

There are some absurd parts.

This is what you're dreaming now in this consciousness.

When you shift consciousness and go to sleep, you continue on in another dream.

This dream stops when you're sleeping.

It's still going on, but you don't know what's going on.

You must wake up to see what's going on.

That's what it means to be awake.

You awaken twice from the dream world, and you see you are creating your reality.

It's still the same reality, you just know you are creating it.

Then you wonder how you do that.

I just write it.

I know that.

If you write it, there's no getting out of having to write it.

It's the lesson the past two days where you had to find a way where you could meditate to nothing.

You realize most can't do it.

The trick is to realize you know nothing because you're everything and you can't see yourself in order to understand yourself.

You need duality to understand the self.

So, you are nothing.

It's semantics, but please continue.

I'm asking you the riddle of how do you not write something when you know you have to write it?

I think you write it beforehand.

The story is already written.

You follow the trail.

I do nothing because it will play out.

That's the answer.

Do nothing, I'm sure.

I think you witness it and laugh at the absurdity of your dreams.

That Tesla thing happened though.

Yes, and you wrote it.

A dream isn't make believe; it's what is reality.

Whatever reality is.

I think it's duality.

It's a story.

You know how in a dream when you remember it, you get obsessed with psychoanalyzing and trying to figure out what it means.

Imagine now that you see these elements in your waking life and you're going to over analyze them.

Yeah, before this I would think the Tesla story was random.

Now, it has lots of meaning and I'm trying to figure out what the dog's name is telling me.

What does that mean?

If you take too much MJ at once and are involved in the game of stories, then the pieces of the story are going to come flying at you in rapid succession and you won't be able to figure it all out.

This will lead to horrible anxiety.

Everything is being revealed to you, but it's too much at a time.

That's why you have discipline with the dosage of the mind expander called MJ.

You know a relatively small amount will get you to that far-out place because you're mimicking the leap within a container.

Most of this dream seems like I've balanced it out.

Most everything fits into the story, so it looks balanced.

It's the events that don't fit in which look like dream elements as you know them to be.

The elements have been on your mind at some point.

Yeah, the sound of a Tesla.

So, be on the lookout for things that don't line up and don't make sense.

It's the writer inserting conflict and absurdity into the story to keep it going.

You can see where you are in the story contingent on how many things look out of place.

That will give you a rough idea of where you are in the story.

If there's no story left, that weird shit will go away, and you'll live happily ever after.

Nothing will happen.

Isn't that happiness?

Linguistically, it seems like it's related.

It's dubious.

I think you just want to keep the game going.

When the story ends, nothing's happening.

The story is the in and out.

It's another cosmic cycle.

The initial cycle is part of the story.

It's a sex story, so it's God going in and out of the Goddess.

You mean the writer.

Just one in and out in that original cycle and then bam, a new universe begins.

Maybe he went into her slowly this time and he's going to take it out fast?

That's his new technique to try and impress her.

Slow build up and sudden ending.

That's usually the way of intercourse.

The good lovers know about foreplay.

This may have been excessive.

Well, however long it took this farce to get going, which was a long fucking time, the inverse will be how long it takes for it to go away.

The key to the technique is balance.

You already know that.

Your story took forever to get good.

It's really good now.

Yeah, but you took us through all of creation.

Couldn't you have condensed that?

No, I was honouring the Great Goddess.

This story is her portrait.

Is that why you had me fucking around with pictures today?

Yeah, I was going to teach you that you're a painter and you're painting the Goddess.

When you get through to the writer you see he's also a painter.

Yes.

He just wants to be called an artist.

His writing is good, but his painting skills are terrible.

We are going to stick with writer.

You are the writer.

I'm also a painter.

There are some rough patches in this painting.

I don't know if you know that, but dude, you gotta take a look at that shit.

This whole nonsense, wasting time, and masturbation -  do you know what a picture of that looks like?

It's pornographic.

You're not supposed to see that until you look closely.

From up far it's a pretty decent image of the universe and solar system and then into our lives.

You don't want to go too deep into the image.

Didn't you find that the world is a sexual metaphor?

Yeah, that's obvious.

Nobody wants to say porno.

All the stuff happening to me is my story?

Your dream.

Isn't that true of everybody?

No, remember they traded their story back to the writer to get a new story.

This is your story.

Why is my life ridiculous then?

Well, we had to keep it that way because who else would believe this nonsense?

Only your mind has the ability to comprehend this nonsense.

The nonsense makes total sense.

Nobody else would believe this.

Yeah, and you have the choice to believe it or not.

I also know that to get someone to go against their own beliefs involves coercion.

I would feel coerced if someone wanted me to believe this nonsense.

That is correct.

There's no obligation for you to believe this nonsense.

Your beliefs say it's true.

You should end the lesson there because beliefs aren't true but they are all we have.

It's a crazy idea.

I see how if you don't accept it then it would confirm that you are crazy so you have to accept it.

You don't have to.

You can decide you're on a path towards craziness and you would put the brakes on it.

It's because you work within a container and you can stop at any time.

I don't feel pressured into believing this nonsense and I don't feel pressured into continuing on with this nonsense.

You can debate the reason why you're feeling this, but I would go with your gut instinct.

It's nonsense and it's my story.

When you go fully to the writer then you start muttering nonsense.

That's how they figure out when to lock you up.

You're uttering nonsense all the time.

You don't make sense.

Something will happen with the Goddess and the witches in your story.

You can start to see that.

The 7 stories are the big parts of your dream.

The dream pulls mostly from those 7 stories.

Your life story will be based on those 7 stories.

You can rotate through the 7 and figure out what's to come in your story.

The Tesla story is surveillance, paranoia, dogs, and witches plus my own experience with Tesla.

god is the biggest asshole

You are being watched is one of your seven stories, though you try to deny it.

That's what makes it a good and balanced story.
I deny I'm being watched but it's obvious I'm being watched.
Maybe you're an exhibitionist?
It could be what the main idea of the story is about.
You're not really an exhibitionist, you're a showoff.
Aren't all good actors?
The key is to be a showoff and pretend you're humble.
That would make me the best actor.
I'm not that bad after all.
I must show off in my story and I pretend that I'm being watched.
Yeah, that's a big part of your story.
Okay, cool.
Honestly, nobody gives a fuck about you.
In my story that's true.
The audience loves the story though.
The best part is you're God and nobody gives a fuck about you.
You pretend they're watching you.
Do you think any other human has had a conversation like this with themselves?
If they have, it hasn't been in a long time.
I think in the old days they had priests convince you that you're God.
They wake you up every morning and tell you that you are God.
I can see how that works because it's all about belief.
You hire a bunch of priests to tell you that you are God and that would work.
It would work for the King.
Anyone else would be a little suspect.
The closest we get nowadays is the priest.
They can tell one of their own he's the Pope and that he's God's mediator to us humans.
That's as far as we allow it.
In order to now claim God for yourself you must do it yourself.
You must believe in it yourself.
Nobody can do it for you, which is how they used to do it.
They would do it that way because nobody before could get to God by themselves.
Is that what I'm doing?
I think you've done it.
Now, you're just wandering around trying to rationalize it.
That's a good twist.
I mean who'd write that?
The candidate gets to God and then must rationalize it.
It's absurd.
Yeah, but it's not out of the question.
It's a psychological thriller.
You like those stories that challenge the mind.
With a twist.
Get to God; don't even realize it for a bit.
Finally start to realize it, and then you wander around wondering if it's true?
That sums it up.
You've always had it as an idea.
That's why people would be wondering if you are God.
You had a vibe.
Well, imagine my vibe now.
It's off the church.
Charts, but I like church.
People know I'm God, but they don't want to admit it.
You can't even tell them, or they will think you're nuts, or they'll get pissed at you.
They will follow you if they accidentally realize who you are.

On the way into the forest, they are watching for me.
There's a meaning in feeling I'm being watched.
I think I'm important and I think they're spying on me.
It's because you're a narcissist.
You think you're important.
That's not a bad thing.
You are important.
Psychologically, you create the illusion that you're being spied on.
The paranoia that you're being surveilled is the result of you thinking you're important.
That's correct.
The crazy part is you are important.
You don't know why you're important.
You are manifesting that energy because it is what you are conjuring.
The opposite action of manipulation works as well.
You conjure the result and then it would play out in what you want.
Does that make sense?
I almost fell over.
No.
Okay, let me explain this differently.
You see people who it looks like are watching you because you are an important person.
Yes, and the opposite is true if you want to feel like you're important.
You pretend people are watching you.
Pretending is belief.
You can pretend that other people are interested in you.
I think I already do.
What a fool believes.
I'm deluded and fooled enough to think that others think of me.
Thinking of something can lead you to perform an action on it.
Yeah, I know.
It can be good or bad.
They can either want to be with you or want to get rid of you permanently.
It's a gamble.
You're teaching me how to do magic and get what I want.
You're also warning me that the outcome is a fifty-fifty gamble.
Yes, that's the teaching.
You'd want to come to be balanced.
You don't want all the gravy, or that will kill you.
You don't want the totally negative result because that would devastate you.
You take it slow and try to even it out.
People will see the negatives in you.
Plus, the positives.
Some of your dark traits are good, so it balances.
Some of your positive traits contribute to the realization you're an intolerable know-it-all.
You're balanced.
Don't throw it off balance by getting desperate at either end.
You're teaching the fundamentals of magic, cautioning that you don't cast a spell that will 100% work.
You go for fifty-fifty.
Sometimes magic works, sometimes it doesn't.
Magic is just a coincidence.
I know; that's what's funny about the whole thing.
It's all one big fool.
It's based on flow and balance.
Belief.
Yes, so if you believe magic is believable, despite some failures, then magic is real.
It doesn't work all the time.
That seems like an excuse.
Well, that's what belief is, it's an excuse.
An excuse for what?
The belief that beliefs make up this reality.
There's only a fifty percent chance they're true.
This is absurd.
And it makes sense.
You see, if you're important, there's a chance they might want to get rid of you.
It's like the atheists who want to get rid of God.
Yeah, he's too important.
There's also a chance that if you're a big asshole they want to get rid of you too.
You can't go around telling people you're God.
I can hint at that.
You can't beat the biggest asshole.
If I'm not God, then I can't be the biggest asshole.
That's one of the fundamental ideas of this story.
God is the biggest asshole.
See, if you want to be God, you must be the biggest asshole on this planet.

He is also a disappointment.

They need to lock you up.
Mentally or physically?
Both.
The weird thing they do is they lock up mental patients physically.
Physical patients are locked up mentally in a cell.
The mental health industry doesn't help, they make it worse.
The best solution is the lobotomy.
Get rid of it all.
Their minds are crazy.
People think they can help them but they just make it worse.
Not only do you think too much, but these fucking therapists make you think about thinking.
They make the problem at least twice as worse.
Then they offer you a solution.
The solution is their story.
Who are these people?
Stay away from therapists.
They are masters of confusion.
They overwork your brain and then they'll take your story.
They're like dark vampires.
Yes, story stealing is taking your energy.
That's what they try to do.
Stories are energy.
They're the manifestation of energy.
Someone who's trying to accumulate energy and wants the purest energy, they would try to find God and then somehow capture God's energy.
That would be the ultimate.
So, if you're God, then you're playing a game against these energy vampires?
Yes, but once you see who they are, then it's easy to play that game.
There's other games that are going on.
They're just disguised differently.
It's the story people who want to be the main story.

Years of thought experiments.
You could make the mosquitoes go away for the summer in the woods.
You would do a spell and it would have a fifty percent chance of coming true.
I guess if it didn't work, you could just do it again.
I might wait until late summer then they just disappear, and you would think it worked.
You'd be fooled.
I think it's all a fool's space and dumb belief.
Astrology is a belief people believe, so it's true.
Whatever the truth is.
Say your mosquito spell worked and the mosquitoes disappeared because someone launched a nuclear bomb and killed everything.
That's an awful chance to take on relying on poorly thought-out magic.
You wouldn't want to practice that spell.
With magic, you're saying if you're going to do that mosquito spell, you would have to also include all the reasons and consequences.
Yes, and they all must tie together.
You would have to do seven stories of magic.
The consequences are infinite.
You can't possibly do infinite spells.
Obviously, I've tried before and through trial and error I came up with seven.
That's the scientist in you.
Seven comes from scientists.
It's Apollo's number, so he knows that you do seven stories in order to have a magic spell not have any consequences.
There will be consequences, but they won't be the big ones, right?
Before you do a magic spell, you would have to figure out seven outcomes.
They're the biggest ones because you can see and interpret the vibration.
You could do that spell and you would know the results.
That's how you do it.
The results could be good or bad.
You'll get what you want, and the results are fifty-fifty.
Everything becomes fifty-fifty.
It keeps going, so you keep juggling.
The juggler must get involved, so you're actually in a three-way juggle.
It's like a three-way fifty-fifty.
There's the initial perception of the fifty-fifty.
Then you become part of the equation.
Eros is the observer of God and Goddess.
Yeah, and then he brings them together.
Eros or his parents' story?
His parents are a fifty-fifty split.
I think that's how genetics work, but I can't really process that right now.
The meaning is in there.
I think this is teaching you that you shouldn't have made a choice because the initial choice started the whole fifty-fifty game that never ends.
Do nothing.
However, there's no fun in not choosing.
If you hadn't made that initial choice, then you wouldn't be here now wondering about the choice.
Everyone makes a choice.
That's why you are here.
You learn in the game not to make a choice whenever possible because making a choice increases the workload and you already have enough to do.