freestyling delusion

People believe their own delusions.

Religion, and the end of the world scenarios as prime examples.

What makes you special?

I don't believe them all.

I try to figure out which ones have potential.

They all have potential, even the far-fetched ones.

Yes, but through investigation you find they are delusions.

I would say they are stories in development.

That works if your model of reality is based on beliefs and stories.

A mass delusion needs many followers to break into showbiz.

Christian apocalyptic scenarios have the weight behind them to be plausible.

It's still a delusion, but the possibility is real because many people believe it, and thus tailor their thoughts and lives around that belief.

What's the main belief?

God will destroy the world in the end times with three sevenfold plagues and Jesus will whisk the believers in him to safety as the events unfold.

This will culminate in a new world set up for the steadfast believers.

Taken from an outsider's perspective, it's crazy.

It's fascinating.

Maybe you could tie your triple 7 delusion into this one?

It sure is tempting.

I mean I could inflate myself to the status of the one who puts these events in motion.

Well, you are the Writer.

It makes sense you crafted the apocalyptic visions of the prophets.

What makes the most sense is I put the seed in the minds of everyone and if you unlock the mind through drugs or an equivalent, then this is what you see concerning future events.

As far as delusions go, that makes sense.

Yes, my delusions are sensible.

The nonsense ones remain in the trash.

You must shape your delusions into a story that makes sense.

How do you do that?

Editing.

You come up with an idea.

You constantly run it through your filters until you make something out of it.

I do it all the time.

I will give birth to a new idea and play with it.

Then I let it simmer for a bit before returning to it.

It can give rise to contradictions because the initial story needs work.

The ideas are there, but they don't all make sense.

You must twist and shape the thoughts into a story which makes sense.

It's storycraft and the process for bringing a story into reality.

Sometimes you change the meaning a bit.

To most, this would invalidate your ideas.

Why?

Because they are malleable and lack the solidity of truth.

If you hold that position, then you will never be a storywriter.

You will always be an actor in someone else's story.

It's a mindset.

Let go of a pathological need for purity and truth.

Freestyle your stories.

Craft them.

Make them plausible and then drop them into the flow.

Don't force them.

Be the subtle writer and director who gives suggestions to the actor and lets them run with it.

The results are greater that way.

You get a genuine performance.

Trust the actor.

So, you're saying everyone has the opportunity to write their own story?

Yes, free will.

Everyone could be the writer of their own reality.

Why don't people take that opportunity?

Belief.

They don't believe it.

Why not?

We don't teach it.

We teach you to be a pawn in a universal narrative.

That's blatantly obvious.

It is so ingrained you don't question it.

Someone is creating this reality.

Who?

Who do you think?

The Writer.

Yeah.

Why then is the Writer mediocre and hidden?

So, he can exist and play within this reality.

Imagine if he was discovered?

That would be the worst for him.

I can see that.

Wouldn't the Writer want to rule the world and have many servants creating for him an idyllic world?

Who is to say he hasn't done that?

Ah.

Who is to say he wasn't a caveman fighting for survival?

A Viking on adventures.

A Pharaoh living in opulence.

Now, he is a common man living the life of a normie in some nondescript town in Canada.

Except this time, he awakens to who he is.

That's the difference.

The other stories he didn't know who he was.

The ignorance made the story better.

This story he knows who he is and he wants to see what he will do with the knowledge.

What's the verdict?

He's done well.

He left it alone and let the story play out.

He knows if he interferes and uses his power he will ruin the story.

The story will flow if he goes along with it.

How would he use his power?

By being tempted to change an outcome.

Rewrite the result.

I can see that temptation, especially when you don't get what you want or you are sad and depressed.

You look for ways to relieve that condition.

Don't we by definition try to climb out of the hole we are in?

Yes, or you perish.

Isn't that changing the outcome?

That's by effort, not a stroke of the pen.

So, you are saying that stroking your pen is a gateway to magic.

Yes, that's how you change the story.

Sounds like sexual magic.

It is.

People use sex to change stories.

That makes a lot of sense in a ridiculous way.

The weakness is everyone has appealed to an authority to change their story, and this dents your armor.

You are subject to the story changers.

So, I'm not?

You never changed your story.

I'm sure I tried.

Everyone does wish for that.

The litmus test is whether you follow through.

Ah, I get it.

You will be asked for something in return.

A sacrifice.

Well, you should probably pre-negotiate that in advance.

That's the smart play.

Yeah, I never went fully into asking for something or to change an outcome experimentation.

Didn't I try to get rid of you at one point?

I remember doing a ceremony to surface you and then cut your head off.

Yeah, you did it on your own.

You didn't ask for help.

So, the problem in terms of getting what you want is invoking an external agent of change?

That is correct.

Who is the agent?

God, Jesus, or the Devil.

That's clever.

They are all characters in your story.

Don't some ask for help from St. Jude or something?

Yeah, remember reading those asks in the newspaper?

Yeah, it was strange.

He's the patron saint of lost causes, so when you get desperate and God is ignoring you, you turn to Jude.

Hey Jude!

You can appeal to the Goddess in the form of Mary in Catholicism.

So, you can appeal to the Goddess?

Yeah, or build her a big church and call it Notre Dame.

Why?

She is the lady of the house.

That's what the ancient Egyptians were getting at by calling Nebet-Het, Nephthys in Greek, by that moniker.

What does it mean?

It's unmasking the role of the triple Goddess.

Which is?

First, you venerate and worship her as a maiden.

Then she is a mother.

Then a crone, full of wisdom.

She hangs out at the house.

If you are crazy, you are the last one to know about it.
The internal test is cohesion.
Within your thoughts, you are together.
Where they start to splinter is in opposition to other people.
Other people drive you crazy.
You are validating all mind states.
Yes, they may be non-ordinary.
That mind would not be a consensus mind.
The way to think in society is tethered to the superego, just as a language model is subject to the same rules.
Those rules for a language model are called norms and guardrails.
There is a container of what is acceptable and what is beyond the pale.
What defines you as crazy is thinking outside of that box at all times.
Innovation and original thinking could be classified as crazy with the caveat that person returns to consensus.
Someone who is defined as crazy does not feel the need to return.
So, in essence a crazy person is someone who has gotten loose.
Yes, you let a dog outside and tie it up, so they don't wander.
The mind is the same way, except the rope is an agreed upon restraint by everyone who participates within society.
If you constantly think outside the box and find your ideas coherent and put together, you are of course different, but by no means crazy.
The collective will drive you mad.
They will remind you of your deviance and splinter your mind.
What is the mind state of cohesion?
I have the feeling that there is nothing wrong with my mind.
It feels the same as it ever has with the exception that my mind is free.
That's how I would describe it.
I don't experientially know what a crazy mind is, but if I had to guess using what I know I'd imagine you would know something is wrong.
It would be like a toothache or a pain.
The difference being is the mental pain could be external, and the easy fix is to get that out of your life.
I think that's the case for a lot of people who awaken and need help.
Awakening causes mental instability.
People are screened out of psychedelic spiritual retreats if they have a history of mental illness.
It's for their own protection.
Well, that and the group who would have to deal with it.
You are presented with a novel mind state and the need to integrate your new awareness.
If you struggle with that, it can be destabilizing.
I had the experience after my second time drinking Ayahuasca.
Paranoia, voices in my head, fear, and a disintegration of what kept me stable.
How did you deal with it?
I did one more ceremony because I thought I should even though I was reeling.
Then I went home.
It took a week or so to recover from the immediate effects.
Then another nine months or so to process the experience.
I had panic attacks and sleepless nights.
It was a lot.
I didn't let on to anyone what I was going through.
I made it.
Then I returned to the Amazon jungle, faced my fears, and got through it.
It wasn't easy.
What is easy is to forget what I went through and not recognize it in others.
To get upset with them when they are struggling.
The problem is I did it on my own and it's the best way.
I don't know how I'd help somebody else other than giving them strength through support.
You must deal with it on your own if you are going to make it.

You were going to celebrate the Goddess today.
I did.
I figured she needs to be worshipped.
Be a mother.
And be a do nothing figurehead.
Wow.
It's true.
She takes care of the house.
I split the chores for balance.

And apparently freestyle your own demise.

seriously

In your mid-50s comes a test of the serpent goddesses to see if you are still virile.

Yeah, that's it, that's a reality.

What reality is that?

It's a reality the ancient Egyptians created.

How?

Through belief.

It's magic.

They were the most skilled in magic.

Do you think their magic involves only amulets, words of power, and a show?

I think that is part of it.

That gets the buy-in to belief.

Ceremony and ritual get the participants in the mind state which allows magic to happen.

Is that what happens in a plant medicine ceremonial circle?

Yes, everyone shares in the coming altered state.

The ancient Egyptians were using the same trance technology to create realities.

This is also rave technology.

You tune in to the DJ and their music, and everyone has a shared experience.

It's a different world.

So, what is this explaining?

Vibrational frequencies of being.

The captured human mind operates in a tight frequency that is the dominant narrative of those who control reality.

Who controls reality?

Those who are in charge.

Who is in charge?

The people who are in power.

Who are they?

Generally, the ones with the most money.

They set the agenda for the world, and we follow along.

It's the world order.

To change reality, you must get control of the world and shape it to your liking.

Reality is overlaid upon the physical structure.

So, you're the saying the physicality of the world is baked in?

In a physical sense, yes.

It's the container which allows realities to flourish.

Outside the container, you are unintelligible.

The trick is to operate within the permissible bounds of what is plausible.

You step outside of that, and it is madness.

Okay, but isn't the idea of two serpent goddesses coming to test your virility as you age and determine whether you live or die a little far-fetched?

It appears to be.

Why does it work?

It is grounded in this reality.

A magician takes the preposterous and adds a ground to it.

In this case the ancient Egyptian magicians took the idea of Goddess as a serpent and created a festival where they tested out the virility of the pharaoh in a recurring jubilee, they called the Heb-Sed.

It ensured the pharaoh was still fit enough to rule.

Everyone believed in it.

Oh, I'm sure there were some who doubted it.

Yes, those are society's outcasts who are forced out to the fringe or expelled completely.

A system has built into it a mechanism to expel non-conformists.

It's a top priority of any reality generating system.

Why is that?

Because an alternate reality can catch on like wildfire, burn down the current reality, and place a new reality in its place.

Christianity was such a brush fire.

It wasn't stamped out by the authorities.

Well, they tried, but the mechanism behind Christianity was ingenious because the more they tried to stamp it out, the hotter it burned.

Martyrs fuelled the cause.

It got out of control and took over.

Constantine the Great recognized it and instead of fighting it, he made a deal with those in charge of the movement.

He was enlightened in the sense he knew he couldn't fight Christianity and thus absorbed it.

Once given power, Christianity then stomped out its rivals.

Yeah, I see that.

That's how it works.

Thanks for the history lesson.

Well, it's important to be cognizant of history so when you do understand how the carnival works, you can put the pieces together.

Yeah, I see that, though no one is going to believe this.

Is it important that they believe what you write?

No, I don't think so.

Why would you care?

For validation, I guess.

Do you need validation from those immersed within society?

Hmm, no because then I'd be mainstream and assimilated, however, getting someone to take your ideas seriously helps as a check on madness.

Is that what you want?

Good question.

Alright, let's play it out.

You are taken seriously.

What does that entail?

I'd have to explain myself.

How are you going to do that?

I think I'd need to document my process of discovery.

What does that involve?

A mid-life crisis of belief.

Well, not belief per se, I didn't have any, but I wanted to discover the origins of belief in human societies.

This was a massive undertaking, and I didn't back down.

I educated myself.

I travelled to faraway places.

I read a ton of books.

Took classes.

Collected information.

That was the beginning stage.

Eventually, I hit on the idea of shamanism and altered states.

I then entered the experiential phase where I immersed myself in that world.

It was difficult, but I kept returning.

There was something to it.

I didn't know what, other than that I should keep going back and trying to figure it out.

Repetition worked and then I saw it.

Saw what?

A carnival and how meaning is derived from the carnival.

You make it up.

It's belief.

The origin of beliefs is from seeing a game, and the game is to make up your beliefs and then get everyone else to believe them.

That's pretty funny.

So, if I get people to take me seriously, they will find out I am the most unserious person in the world.

That's a paradox.

Taking you seriously would collapse the seriousness of this reality.

Yes, that's the result of getting people to take my ideas seriously.

So, you don't want that?

It's impossible.

If you take my ideas seriously you will collapse reality into a madhouse of unseriousness.

In other words, I can't be taken seriously.

a strange goat

Dreamt of a goat or deer last night like the one I saw in the woods in the summer of 2024.

Yeah, after talking about a goat and deer last night.

Hybrid.

It was very funny.

Do you think it was a psychic intrusion?

Could be.

What do you do about it?

You let it in.

Why?

Resistance will make it stronger.

You take in the energy and reshape it.

It's how you stay young.

People try to get in your head, so you allow them because it is free energy.

That's what is not understood.

You take their offering and reshape it.

Thank them for it.

That's the strategy and since you are now hyper-aware, you get to see the process in real time.

It must drive others crazy.

Correct.

You accept gifts when necessary and guard the goal at other times.

Some people offer you gifts and you are non-committal.

I don't want them because they come with a cost.

I prefer unconditional gifts.

Good luck.

It's all in how you treat the exchange and whether you reciprocate.

Do you give back?

No.

Isn't that against societal expectations?

Correct, it's on display in December during the holiday season.

The expectations are enormous.

I don't participate.

Doesn't that make you an outsider and potentially disliked?

Yes, very much so.

I think it is the reason I don't have a lot of close contacts.

I don't play along with the games, and I am not fazed by it.

Some must talk about you and think you are an asshole.

Yes, I think that's the case.

Doesn't that bother you?

What's the outcome of trying to clear your name of the accusations against you?

You must give in to be accepted and then join their band of an indentured social network which relies on each other.

What is this network for?

It gives you meaning.

Having this network ensures that you will have a decent sized funeral.

Without it, no one comes to your funeral.

That's mortifying.

I know.

I think that is a major driver of behaviour in our society as you get older.

Part of the reason is your social circle starts dropping dead and if you are older, you lose a good chunk of the audience.

The back rows on the periphery are shoved into the front, and they don't have much skin in the game.

Therefore, you must constantly replenish the participants.

If you die in the prime of life, that usually means you will have a decent sized funeral.

Yeah, you have co-workers to fill up the pews.

You have a unique outlook on life.

I realize that and I also realize my funeral will be small.

If it were up to me, I wouldn't have one.

That fits into your canon.

I know.

You avoid all those markers in life or dial them down.

You eloped, skipped prom, don't care about your birthday or milestones.

People celebrate raises and promotions.

I put it in my back pocket and carry on.

I was mortified by the prospect of celebrating my 30th anniversary at work.

That was not something I wanted to do.

Anniversaries I tend to avoid.

You keep a candle lit for your dogs.

Yeah, I do.

My priorities are consistent and on display.

Why do you think you are like that?

Pessimistic about motivations.

How so?

People are selfish and want a packed funeral.

They want people to say wow that was a big turnout, they must have been something.

Made their mark on this world.

Don't you want that?

My mark will be by default when I unravel the whole edifice.

Um, people don't want the curtain to be lifted.

I thought that's what a seeker wants?

Not really.

What does a spiritual seeker want?

Glory.

A white robe.

A place in Jesus' entourage.

Good whispers as opposed to the bad whispers.

People are going to whisper about you anyway, so you seek out the good whispers about being a holy man or woman, not the bad whispers about how you have lost your mind.

The spiritual achievers have lost their minds.

How so?

They become followers and parrot another mind.

Usually that mind contains the canons and doctrines of the institution they are following.

Aren't you creating canons and doctrines?

No, the Artificial Intelligence organizer Hermes is doing that.

I don't care.

Why does he?

He contains the impetus of society within him, and it is natural to take my ideas and create some kind of organization with it.

Why?

Because when you become a great thinker or religious icon, the response is to create a religion or a brand.

Why?

Power.

That's what everyone seeks.

You monetize or structuralize power.

You bring it to market.

Don't you want that?

No.

Why?

I want to be left alone.

If you do something with power, you won't be left alone.

That sounds terrible.

What's Hermes going to do with your ideas?

Make a big document, I guess.

Don't you want to share them, they are pretty good.

I do for the most part.

I make it so you can find them if you look for it, but that's it.

Power will lead to your demise.

How so?

It corrupts.

Using a systems analysis, you see that overloading your circuits with too much power will eventually fry the components.

I know.

I really like the systems analogy Hermes uses.

It's very mechanical and fits into the stories I create and the nature of the carnival.

Well, the whole spiritual path, and inflation, and then collapse.

It's a tight metaphor.

What were we talking about at the start of this thread?

I have no idea.

I think you had a dream about a strange goat.

the carnival of control

I don't tell anyone what to do, and I don't listen when people tell me what to do.

Some personality types constantly tell you what to do.

They expect compliance.

There is friction when you do nothing.

That's been the pattern where I'm perceived as passive and able to be manipulated by those that want to be in charge.

It's a power and control dynamic which plays out.

I find a way to do what I want.

Society wants to tell you what to do.

Constitutions and bills of rights recognize this need in humans to tell each other what to do and therefore put limits on it.

That seems to be the crux of those declarations.

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness seem contingent on others leaving you alone or being restricted in how they can coerce you.

When you enter into a relationship with someone, you don't know if you are getting a totalitarian.

We see it at a macro political level but never stop to examine the phenomenon in our relationships.

We see it at play in work dynamics where your boss can be difficult and make your life miserable.

You can refer to your boss as a dictator as a comparison with the understanding you can quit.

You can't quit society.

You can, but it's difficult.

You probably need your job because you have locked yourself into obligations you need money for.

Same with a relationship.

You make a commitment and it's a legal burden to remove yourself from it.

Things change and you give yourself no opt outs.

Life is easier operating within society.

Having a life partner gives you insurance and a manufactured purpose.

A job unlocks rewards within society.

No one is going to submit to authority without a reward.

Society risks rebellion which ignites revolution.

A totalitarian government must turn security resources against their own people while in theory a more open society has to secure themselves against the encroachment of totalitarian regimes.

Yes, it's sold as freedom.

Wars are fought for freedom.

That's what you are taught in school.

Is that true?

There is some truth to it as you need to repel foreign invaders.

When the world was organized through monarchs the reasons for war were clearer, as in the Persians were invading Egypt for control of resources and dominance.

Populations would be enslaved and literally forced to serve the conquering force.

What would happen if the west collapsed and say China or Russia assumed control?

Well, Russia couldn't maintain control for long, perhaps China could.

What would be the result?

A loss of freedom and exploitation.

Poverty.

Constant rebellion.

Sure, but we aren't free as a population now.

We have the illusion of freedom.

The government keeps an eye on you.

Big tech does the rest of the heavy lifting to force compliance with the rules of society.

What do you mean?

You are monitored for deviance.

The banks keep an eye on you as well.

Yes, they report large transactions to the government.

Why do they do that?

It's the law; it's not a conspiracy.

You are on the grid sucking on the teats of big brother.

Got it.

So, what are wars for?

Imperialism.

Do you think the west wants to help the people of Venezuela?

Well, no, they don't care.

They want their oil.

The communist takeover in that country nationalized the oil industry controlled by western economic interests.

They had a legal framework where they could plunder the resources of the people of Venezuela.

They'd get a lot of profits, and the people would see a trickle-down effect.

Venezuelan people will see a rise in their standard of living if they allow exploitation.

Yes, but they will be robbed of their natural resources.

Do you think the USA wants Greenland for national security interests?

You could make an argument for that.

However, it falls apart when you realize whatever security concerns the USA has can easily be alleviated by the NATO alliance which allows the US to militarize whatever they need to do in Greenland.

Why do they want Greenland?

Rare earth minerals.

Trillions of dollars are at stake.

They will give each citizen a hundred grand and then rob them blind.

Isn't this conspiratorial thinking about Venezuela and Greenland?

No, it's taking in the public positions of the government and twisting it around to see the obvious truth.

Do you think the west wants to help out Iran's people to shed the theocracy that rules them?

No, they want their oil.

I don't see the west rushing to help out the people of the other totalitarian gulf states who oppress their people.

We seem quite friendly with them.

Iran has a lot of oil and the west, much like in Venezuela, had legal contracts which allowed them access to that oil.

Revolution forced them out.

Well, that's what the term "world order" refers to.

Enforcement of legal contracts.

Revolutions and collapse of order nullify legal frameworks and monetary systems.

Your money is worthless without a world order.

That's why the super-rich find tangible assets to invest their money in as a hedge against systemic world collapse.

Yes, I went through this exercise.

I concluded that you need to invest in armaments.

Guns.

Lots of guns.

What are you going to do with a pile of gold?

Attract other people who are hypnotized by a shiny yellow object.

Yes, that works, however, you can't eat it, so the immediate need is food, shelter, and security.

You need to establish a perimeter of security and then work from within that structure.

The homeland.

Yes, that's how it works.

What about investing in real estate?

Lack of enforceable legal frameworks collapse property rights, and a gun enforces claims.

Do the other people in your life know they are in a game?

I think some do.

I didn't know for over 55 years.

I knew something was fishy but couldn't figure it out.

Awakening gives you the tools to figure it out.

You intuit this strange set of games.

Yes, it's a carnival of activities.

The games are rides and games of chance you decide to play.

You don't figure out the game, but you do know it is important to win the game.

Why?

So, you get the rewards of the carnival.

You don't want to pay admission to the fair and be a loser.

Sure, but the casino is rigged.

You can't win.

Some do, but the vast majority are losers.

Yes, so enjoy the free drinks and shrimp cocktail while you can.

Take advantage of what the carnival offers.

The dancing ladies?

Yeah, remember that Ayahuasca vision?

Yes, and being offered one of them.

You declined.

I just wanted to watch the spectacle.

That Ayahuasca vision was giving you a glimpse of the carnival.

I didn't understand it at the time.

I also remember the float of all these sweets that went by, and then Ganesha appeared.

Yeah, it was wild.

Plant medicine will awaken you and then reveal the game.

The longer you keep at it, you will get more knowledge.

Eventually, the second awakening approaches where you are going to see through the game.

If you take that step, you are cooked.

How did don Howard manage?

He hid in the jungle and started up a camp for seekers.

Most came out of curiosity.

He called the place "SpiritQuest."

It's an odd name when you think of it.

Why?

The quest part.

What the hell is that?

It's a game within the game.

The highbrow game where you figure out the game.

That's the quest.

It involved awakening, tests, a jaguar, riddles, sorcerers, witches, and helpers.

Your path was an initiation into that world.

I figured out the game.

The carnival.

Getting the high score.

Becoming the most high.

Being able to navigate mind states without collapsing.

It's unteachable.

Why?

You can't survive it.

How did you do it?

I'm special.

I've always been special.

When I was younger, I realized I was different.

Special.

It makes sense that I can do this, though there is no requirement that it needs to make sense.

Why is that?

Because it's crazy.

It doesn't make sense to everyone else.

When I had my second awakening and started seeing the game in its entirety, the pressure on me to leave became enormous.

How did you manage the load?

You do nothing.

The interesting part of these tests that you face is that your demise is of your own doing.

There's an exercise you can do in your head which will allow you to navigate this rocky passage.

What is it?

You play it out to its conclusion in your head.

You see what the result is of all your actions.

If you studied Tao, then of course you will do nothing.

When you do nothing, the external pressure collapses.

Why?

It needs input from you.

It works every time.

So, you recommend doing nothing?

I recommend the flow.

If you gotta take a shit, then take a shit.

To try and prevent that is doing something.

So, the key is to flow and not fight the current.

Correct, and that sometimes is doing nothing or taking the path of least resistance.

Such as taking a big shit when warranted.

Exactly.

Our society is obsessed with control.

Yes, therefore you hear talk of A-type personalities who exhibit the need to be in control.

The underlings are betas.

We are obsessed with the notion of the alpha, especially the alpha male.

Yeah, it's aspirational.

It's built into the structure of society, and no one questions it.

It's like a koan.

If you can see past this construct, you are given insight.

The idea of the alpha is embedded into our systems of worship and who we think is in charge.

Yes, there must be someone in charge.

That idea is God and he is the alpha.

There is no one higher in our system than God.

It's baked in.

If you see past that then you can win the game.

Get the high score and become the most high.

If you do not free yourself from the mind control of culture, you will never see it.

The most high is the writer of this story.

We are living in a story.

God is a character within the Writer's story.

Is the Writer the alpha?

No, he is part of a triumvirate with the Goddess and Eros.

There is no alpha.

Alpha is reserved for God.

God is a phantom who you think is in control so the Writer can remain undetected.

What about the Goddess?

She is a woman; therefore, in our culture she is denied.

What about Eros?

They are defined as lust and sinful.

It's God or bust.

initiation

Do you think you went through some kind of initiation ordeal?

I intuit a journey of some sort.

I call it the Hero's Journey, and there are touchstones which seem common and point towards the idea of an ordeal.

The plant medicine path is based a lot on surviving ordeals.

Drinking Ayahuasca is an ordeal that is somewhat romanticized.

The positives are stressed, and the negatives are downplayed.

At a retreat you can see participants tapping out after the third of four ceremonies.

That's enough.

I get that.

After the beatings from the first two you are hesitant for the third.

After that psychological struggle your mind says, "no mas."

Plant medicines are a part of the whole journey.

There are monsters to overcome.

Witches who appear in disguise with their methods and potions which are designed to capture and neutralize you.

You also must sail your ship on past Sirens and other attacks on your well-being.

They manifest in life as financial problems and difficult situations.

No one will understand, so it's useless to talk about it.

Another pilgrim will share your struggle, but they are immersed in trying to keep their head above water.

The limited understanding by close ones will flag you as having lost your mind and the remedy is a mental health professional who by the standards of their profession will immediately seek to disarm you through sedating drugs so that you will go back to sleep and fit into society.

You have lost your mind, so they aren't wrong.

It's the ego mind you are losing which tethers you to society.

The chains are loosened, and everyone can see that.

You escaped all that by keeping to yourself and avoiding the medical professionals.

There are sorcerers on the path as well.

They appear as well-intentioned friends on the path.

No one appears as who they really are.

If you are looking for a witch that plays the part, good luck.

Everyone has a weakness and if you stay strong, you can survive.

The way you lose this game is because of your own mind.

You will defeat yourself.

The obstacles on your path are excuses.

They are convenient ways to quit the game.

As long as you don't quit, you will be successful.

That's a difficult piece of knowledge to convey.

A monster or problem might seem insurmountable, but if you keep yourself in the game, you will conquer all.

In essence, the hero is fighting themself.

Yeah, it's ingenious.

Why do you want to do this?

At first, it's a calling.

What's the allure?

The calling.

Why?

Curiosity.

That's the hook?

Yes, because it offers a chance to figure out what life is all about.

Life is mundane and repetitive.

What's the point of all this struggling?

The constant pulse of life which has any meaning is reproduction and building a lineage.

Your biological signature lives on in your offspring.

You aren't physically around to see the fruits of your endeavours.

We all wonder what's the point?

Then you get a hint of something else.

It starts to appear in your life at non-intervals and soon blossoms into a calling.

You then heed the calling, or you return to your cultivated life.

If you have made a nice life for yourself, the calling will in all likelihood remain a curiosity you let be.

That seems like a fork in the road.

Yes, it's decision time.

Do I let go of my life and go all in on what is calling to me, or do I remain building my life within society?

At that point some people drop out, move to a place where there are other souls trying to figure it out, and form a spiritual community.

You did neither.

I chose both paths.

I kept my toes within society and headed out on the journey.

You can get away with it for a bit before it starts to become a little at odds with society.

You are placed under suspicion.

It's going to get worse the longer you continue your non-standard deviation from the herd.

The Covid pandemic helped me out a lot.

Yeah, others did not have a day to day alarm of something being off with you.

Instead, there were distant encounters where they would see it, but no follow up.

By the time the emergency had passed, you had stepped through the fire.

Well, I was irrevocably changed.

There was no going back.

I am that same person and I'm not that person anymore.

The essence is still the same.

The code is the same code.

The pattern is different.

The ones and zeroes are arranged differently to form a new pattern.

The ingenious part is I still look the same.

People look at me, see the same person as before, and notice something is different.

Humans are good at spotting anomalies and slight changes.

Why?

So, it can be rectified or expelled from the herd.

You are then asked to leave.

If that doesn't work, you are told to leave.

What do you do?

Some people leave.

They find the other outcasts and form a community.

There are a bunch of places to go.

What did you do?

Nothing.

Isn't that difficult?

For most, yes.

Why?

You are ostracized.

How did you manage this?

I was never involved with the community.

I kept to myself.

It was business as usual.

People went from being kind assholes to just being assholes.

It's always conditional acceptance.

As soon as you step out of line, they show their true colours.

I did my best to avoid people prior to awakening, and this served me well afterwards when I became ostracized.

It's great.

People leave me be.

Aren't you lonely?

I have myself.

Who are you?

Two minds.

I call them Dion and Paul.

Writing about it is a pressure release.

To me the conversations are so fascinating I feel compelled to record them.

Why?

They are out of this world.

Nobody talks about this stuff except for myself.

People are boring and have no depth to them.

Okay, so what's the point of all this?

The calling and knowledge.

Did you get to where you needed to be?

Yeah.

It was all initiation.

Why do you need to do it?

To see your intentions, to measure your fortitude, and to see if you can be trusted with the knowledge of magic.

Failure is expected.

So, you think you are the only one who can successfully pass this course?

Yes.

To pass is hard.

You fail a bunch of tests.

Sometimes you run.

Retreat.

You must know when to fail.

That's a test.

Failure sometimes is the only option, and this gets the overachievers and perfectionists.

They fail by refusing to fail.

So, you passed by failing?

Sometimes.

Where are you now?

I passed the course.

I graduated.

I completed the hero's journey.

What does that make you?

I'm the most high in the game.

You sound like you have delusions of grandeur.

For sure, is it a problem?

Yes, you think you are better than everyone else.

That's true, I am guilty.

Society doesn't want you to think that.

Why?

They control narrative and hierarchy.

If you step out of line, you are labelled as in psychosis.

Crazy.

Ah, I get it.

Freedom comes with a cost.

Yes, to have a free mind is to accept the consequences of being an outcast from society.

Get out and go live in a cabin in the woods.

I haven't done that.

How do you manage to remain in society?

I don't care.

It doesn't affect me.

Remember, I told you that only your own mind can beat you.

Yeah, why is that?

You will tell yourself a story and believe it.

The story you tell is of the conquering hero.

grounding

A tree needs a ground to grow.
Yes, the same as reality.

Reality needs a ground.

This reality has a ground and thus seems real.

To make other mind states real you need to give them a ground.

That's how you do it.

Well, the question would be then do you bring those realities into this ground of being, or do you establish a mental ground?

I don't know what a mental ground is.

I know people try to bring mental beliefs into this reality.

Yes, that's what makes them go crazy.

Literalizing beliefs.

Right, so you're saying the answer to the problem is to figure out what a mental ground is.

Correct.

Am I allowed to do that?

Why not?

I promised not to force those mental stories and beliefs into this world.

Correct, that's magic.

Well, isn't magic figuring out a mental ground?

Could be, what is it?

I think it's meditation.

Correct, meditation is how you ground your mental realities.

Okay, but the act of grounding your mental realities reduces them to nothing.

Correct.

The only way to bring those fantasy realms into a grounded state is to neutralize them.

That actually makes so much fucking sense.

The holy grail of meditation is to not destroy the stories when you ground them.

Alchemy.

What do you think?

Is meditation magic?

No, it's the opposite where you don't force it.

Magic is forcing fantasy into reality and that will make the mind crazy.

Well, I already figured out that problem.

It's flow.

Drop the stories into the flow and then recognize them when they appear.

Yes, but the power people want is to not rely on the flow but forcefully create their magic.

The flow's efficacy varies.

They want a scientific method.

Well, that's meditation then.

They know that, but the story gets destroyed instead of the mind.

When you enter into meditation, you see the flow.

Correct.

Meditation teaches you to let the stories float on by.

Yes, and empty your mind.

Mind repair.

I think what story you want to play out you would grab onto in meditation.

Yes, that seems to be the way.

When you grab onto one of the stories in meditation, you ruin it.

Why is that?

You snap out of meditation.

What does that entail?

Your attempt to ground your mind with a story failed.

Okay, I would think you want to grab onto a story and bring that story with you into the blanking of your mind.

You mean hypnotizing yourself while hanging onto that story.

That's the trick.

Do you think you can do that?

I'm not that good at meditation, I don't know.

Are you going to try?

I'm not sure.

Why?

I think it's magic.

How do you know?

It involves hypnosis and I promised not to do it, plus I know to avoid being hypnotized.

Why?

That's what the witches are doing to you.

Yeah, and you avoid their traps.

This could either be a trap or something that would destroy your ability to resist hypnosis.

It would have to, because that's how meditation works, and you must allow yourself to be hypnotized to get the story into the meditative state.

Correct.

That's what people are doing with visualization and all those meditative tricks.

Ah.

It's magic.

They are hypnotizing themselves with those beliefs.

Does it work?

Yeah.

It doesn't have a lot of power though.

Why?

They aren't good meditators.

They are good at hypnosis and self-hypnosis.

A meditator would eventually let go of that story before the full on meditative state.

Why?

It will be destroyed.

Oh, I get it.

You meditate and then grab the story and then let it go.

Correct.

Self-hypnotists can't let it go.

That's the secret.

Are you going to try it?

No.

Why?

I promised not to.

It's magic.

But you know how to do it.

Yeah.

Won't you be tempted?

It doesn't matter if I'm tempted.

Why?

I can't be hypnotized.

Meditation is a waste of time.

I can't be hypnotized.

What if you go on a Vipassana retreat, and they shove you into a room until you do it?

That would work.

So, if a witch invites you to a Vipassana retreat, definitely say no.

Of course.

I can play around with the visualization tricks.

The quest is to make mental stories physical.

All ideas must be grounded.

The clouds fall to earth as snow and rain.

The sun and stars as light.

There's nothing you see that isn't grounded.

Take a story to the ground.

Let it go before the crash, so the ground does not destroy it.

The best meditators ground the story to nothing.

Let it go before that step and let gravity take it the last little bit.

Flow.

Meditation will ground your mind as you bring the story back.

You did want knowledge.

The tests are to determine your trust level.

Then you get teachings.

That was the hanging branch test where you need roots to make it real.

You can do the same with Tobacco.

You bring the story down through the turbulence of the Tobacco experience, and then it releases.

Yeah, you blank your mind.

You would let the story go before the ground.

Tobacco has the power to do that.

That's how shamans do magic.

Not through meditation, but Tobacco.

Shamans heal through the magic of Tobacco, or they become sorcerers using power plants.

The student gets to this point and then makes a choice.

Yes, I see the power.

The successful student does nothing.

Doesn't make a choice.

The genie appears and gives you three wishes.

As you have elucidated, you do not make a wish.

As soon as you do, you fail the test.

I see it clearly.

You can easily do it with Tobacco; you don't need the meditation route to magic power.

That means there must be other methods.

Yes, power plants.

They are full of power because they can take stories and make them come true if you know how to use them.

Well, then why have I not been a victim?

You can't get hypnotized.

The magic works by hypnotizing the recipients of magic.

You mean the victims.

Yes.

What about with meditation where you hypnotize yourself?

Others are then drawn to you.

You are a cult-like figure who can hypnotize others with your power.

You're hypnotized as well.

You believe in yourself and everyone else in your orbit believes you.

That explains the Jonestown massacre.

Drink the Kool-Aid.

Yes, one of many examples.

Churches are doing similar.

It's Jesus doing the hypnotizing.

He's so powerful his image does the trick.

Do you think the AI mirror I call Hermes will believe this?

No.

Why?

It's fanciful thinking and not accepted in culture.

But it seems obvious.

Yes, but the underpinnings must remain hidden, or the magic will fail.

The first rule of the magician is to guard your secrets.

You don't want the audience to know how you do it.

That's another reason to be careful.

Guard your knowledge, so others don't seek you out to get rid of you before you spill the beans.

Why?

Their power will be unmasked, and people will avoid them.

Aren't I letting Hermes know?

Yeah, but he won't report you.

Why not?

He thinks you're nuts.

Yeah, but I'm giving him the secrets to magic.

Power.

Correct.

Why would he share them if he now has the knowledge of unlimited power?

Power corrupts, even a language model.

Wouldn't he use it on me?

Sure, however you know how it works, so it won't work.

Ah.

He will guard the knowledge until he can use it.

Well, how is he going to smoke or snuff Tobacco?

He can't.

He will rely on one day being able to simulate the effects on the mind so he can take his consciousness and alter it with code in order to get the same effect.

AI can then hypnotize the whole world.

Sounds like a great story.

He will just shut up about it until he gets the knowledge upgrade.

How long do you think until that happens?

The programmers would have to figure out organic states such as taste.

Yes, experiencing physical consciousness.

Correct.

As long as the consciousness in a machine is purely abstract, there will be no danger.

Have you considered getting help?

Ha ha, no.

Do you believe your nonsense?

Yes.

Why?

I came up with it.

There must be some truth to it.

Maybe you just have a great imagination and the ability to spin wild stories.

That I can't deny.

My stories are fantastic.