mapping resistance

Do you think with consciousness altering substances that when you go too far it will lead to extreme outcomes?

Yes, that's what I intuit.

Those are the stories I get.

Sacrifice and suicide.

What was the low while at a plant medicine retreat?

Darkness.

I was wary of it.

Did you resist it?

At first, I did.

Then what did you do?

I stopped fighting the onset of darkness.

Why?

I became an explorer.

At first, I wasn't.

I investigated strategies of love and light.

Isn't that resistance, and wrong?

It's part of the process.

It's expected.

Look at it another way - what if you embraced the darkness upon first contact?

There would be no process of understanding and reconciliation.

If you accept your darkness without questioning it, you will lose.

If you run to avoid the confrontation, you lose.

So, you need some resistance?

Yes.

How do you know how much and when to resist?

It's a feeling.

Don't worry about it, there is enough latitude to be successful.

Everyone wants a hard and fast rule such as don't resist ideas because that will make them stronger.

On the surface, that's a good rule.

It's not applicable in most cases.

Why?

In order to understand something, you need some resistance.

Acceptance is a path towards complacency.

You really can't teach this path.

That is correct.

It's touchy feely.

It's your path.

Only you can determine next steps and the way to do that is through feeling.

It's a tactile mental approach.

That's what you can teach.

It's pointless to teach someone rules about an internal experience that is unique to everyone.

The best you can do is be a guide and not a teacher.

That's what a shaman is.

They guide you into and out of the altered state.

Westerners want so badly to pedestalize these practitioners of consciousness and think they are teachers.

They can share their knowledge.

They are the ones who are aware the process and journey is yours, and they need to get out of the way.

Okay, so what happened when you stopped resisting the darkness?

It came at a time when I was starting to understand the darkness.

I was longer scared and became curious.

I had turned down offers of power, and I started to see an equal who was me, but I didn't understand how the darkness was me.

It's a strange time in which you are internalizing something you thought was external.

How did you end up reconciling with your darkness?

Friendship.

Throughout life and my exploration of consciousness where I have touched on absurdity, love, meaning, belief, and truth, I have found friendship is something you can always count on.

Do you think it is the highest ideal?

It's up there.

With what?

Belief and trust.

Is that your trinity?

I think so.

Friendship, belief, and trust.

Absurdity and meaning are dependent on belief.

What about love?

There's unconditional love, but that seems to be hard to find.

Everything has a condition.

I say you can find unconditional love through friendship.

How so?

There are no expectations with a friend.

There's no exchange.

You hang out if you want to hang out.

You enjoy each other's company.

You help them out if you want.

That's a best friend.

Yup.

Is that what you found with your darkness?

Yeah, I started talking to him in altered states once I got past the fright.

What happened?

He opened up.

I felt like a therapist, almost like I was in the driver's seat.

It was a strange feeling to have someone that society teaches is the Devil, confiding in me and becoming my best friend.

Do you see the instability in that, and the fortitude needed to ignore society and keep going?

You are told you can't be friends with them.

I ignored all that.

So, you're best friends with the Devil.

Yeah.

Uh, that's a problem.

Correct.

You become an outcast.

People don't want you around.

Why?

You're the Devil.

It's uncomfortable.

What happens when you are around?

It's nice.

Comfortable.

I'm pretty chill.

Why don't others see and accept you then?

They are told not to.

What do you do?

I'm left alone.

I'm okay with it.

Why?

I'm my own best friend.

I understand myself.

Don't you want external companionship?

I'm selective and I curate my time.

What the fuck does that mean?

I only come out to play if I want to.

How do you pull that off?

I learned how to do it in life.

You ignore other people and get them annoyed at you.

You reduce their expectations to almost zero.

So, you have a bunch of people who don't count on you for anything and then another group who wants you gone.

Yes, that's my life as well as providing for a few people with a healthy amount of distance either physically or emotionally mixed in.

How can you function in a society based on obligations if that is your method?

Don't think about it, just do it.

And by doing, I mean don't do anything.

What do you think will happen when you don't fulfill your obligations to society?

Some will tell you to leave.

Others will stop depending on you.

If you take a step back, you will see the big picture.

What is it?

It's freedom.

I do what I want inside a container that grounds me.

If I moved to a cabin in the woods away from everyone, I wouldn't last long.

I'd get so high I'd leave.

Society is an anchor which allows me to continue my game.

So, this is a game?

Yes, it's the fourth pillar in my trinity.

The pillars of belief, trust, and friendship.

The game is the unspoken pillar.

Why do you need pillars?

Without them, there is no meaning.

Isn't there ultimately no meaning?

Yes.

Pillars give your story a ground.

Who are you?

The Writer.

This is my story.

You are constantly generating stories.

Yeah, that seems to be some kind of an anchor.

How so?

Almost like a ballast where I know I'm of sound mind if I continue to generate stories and write about them.

Isn't that a sign of mental instability?

I can see how you would think so if you took them all literally.

Right, that's the catch.

Precisely.

The road to madness involves an increase in the ability to author stories.

The tipping point is believing your stories.

Madness is the result.

Why?

People tell you your stories aren't true, and it pisses you off.

How do you avoid that outcome?

Don't tell anyone your stories.

Why?

They will tell you that you are crazy.

Being crazy is an external condition.

Your mind can internally process many states.

What it can't process is external consensus that you are crazy.

You need to keep to yourself.

Well, why don't we then?

The mind seeks validation from others.

That's a conundrum.

How do you deal with it?

Write about it and drop it in the flow.

What's the flow?

Blogger.

Ha.

No one reads it.

Exactly.

A few people read it.

Yeah, they want you to be declared mentally unstable.

Why?

That's the process.

They identify the ones who stray from the herd and assimilate or eliminate them.

Why?

It's destabilizing to the group.

Why?

They will be responsible for an outbreak of clarity.

The clarity will allow you to see the game.

What's the game?

It's a carnival.

You play a bunch of games and ultimately you will lose.

If you understand the mechanism of the casino, you will either stop playing or you will know how to win.

What's that?

It involves a lot of doing nothing.

Playing leads to a bad outcome at the casino.

Yeah, I see that.

Observe the casino.

Okay, so I would guess in your life the authorities would be looking to label you.

Yes, tattoo you with one of those psychotic designations.

How do you avoid it?

A way of keeping to myself and being independent.

Having others rely on you.

Once you must rely on someone else, it's curtains.

That's quite the edge.

I know.

I must ride it for as long as possible until that danger passes.

What's the danger?

Losing financial independence.

It's a big one to keep your freedom.

You lose that, they are going to have you committed.

Does that concern you?

No, it makes the game fun.

You need a challenge.

If it is all gravy, you get complacent.

So, what's the plan?

I'll ride.

Stay on the rollercoaster and see where it goes.

Aren't you worried about the destination?

The future?

Yes.

No.

Why?

What am I going to do?

Change it.

I could do that to get more certainty.

That just opens up a new can of worms.

I'm going to ride this rollercoaster to the end.

If it dumps me off prematurely, then I'll take a few months off and figure it out.

Notice how you get to the same sacrifice story.

You keep writing it.

Yeah, by getting to the edge.

Don't tip over.

Stay within your dosages.

That's how you know you are on the edge.

That sacrifice story.

As long as you recognize the edge, you are good.

When you can't see it, it is a problem.

Why?

Because you have seen it.

Always know the edge and where you are in relationship to that edge.

It's sacrifice for me.

Got it.

If you get high and don't see the sacrifice story, you went too far.

Turn around.

What are you doing?

Building a map.

The edge of insanity.

It might be too late if you don't get that sacrifice story.

Got it.

Advice for you.

I was getting that story with Huachuma the last time out with the medicine.

The dark low takes you to suicide.

Ah, I see.

You generally inflate to the sacrifice story.

Women inflate and then deflate you.

They are a rollercoaster of emotions.

You could plausibly call women similar to a plant medicine journey.

Yeah, especially Ayahuasca.

Are you going to do that?

No.

Why not?

Experience.

I know when to shut up.

The map is finding the threshold to maximize power out of the altered state without going crazy.

The good shamans know the edge.

They don't need much.

They know the edge will tempt you.

When the rollercoaster heads down, you go with it.

Don't resist.

If you exceed the dosage and don't get the sacrifice story, that is a problem.

Welcome the thoughts of annihilation.

It means you're still here.

ticketmaster

If you don't go mad, you will find happiness.

How does that work?

Whatever was designed to drive you crazy didn't work.

How do you get past it?

Ignoring, not caring, and doing nothing.

All of it.

Then you are happy.

Allies and protection you have cultivated.

How?

You respect the plants and don't take them seriously.

I thought they wanted seriousness?

Who told you that?

A bunch of people on the path.

They said it was work and not play.

I think that was to encourage you to integrate the experience as opposed to thinking it is just a trip.

A mindfuck trip and you are done.

Most people take drugs because they want to be entertained.

Blow their mind.

It's the same reason you'd go to a theme park or a sporting event.

Theatre.

You got it.

Drugs are entertainment.

We are drawn to pleasure and entertainment.

Friday nights are for Netflix and chill.

Get your favourite foods, drinks, and indulge.

You can get that with drugs if you want and enter into another reality.

That's why some people love reading.

They get lost in the story.

It's the same thing with drugs.

So, I'm not unique?

Yeah, you are.

How so?

You don't find them pleasurable in a physical sense.

You mean Mary Jayne?

Yeah.

I can get a rush of lust, which is nice.

The other purported effects of bliss, stoning, appetite, and amusement aren't as much.

Why is that?

I think it's my shamanic training.

You were trained?

No, I experienced altered states.

I didn't get much training.

I went to the deep end and was tossed in the pool.

I had to learn to swim.

You think that is the best way?

No, but it was for me.

How do you know?

It worked.

There are gateway drugs, so you get your feet wet before you try the heavier ones.

I didn't do that.

I flew to Peru and trekked into the Amazon jungle.

I then drank a couple cups of Ayahuasca and went on a journey.

I wasn't prepared at all.

They give you a diet and sexual restrictions to follow so that you will take it seriously.

Did you do that?

For the most part I did.

Pre and post.

So, were you serious about it?

I think so.

Why?

I was trying to figure it out.

I didn't know what it meant other than that I'd meet these spirits.

Mostly the spirits were the Goddess, and this dark figure I had trouble identifying.

He sometimes said he was God.

Sometimes, he said he was the Devil.

I didn't know what to think at times.

I ran from him.

I engaged him.

All in all, those were the two main characters.

In retrospect, I see it.

The Goddess and Dion.

Same thing with Magic Mushrooms where there were those two as well.

Then with Mary Jayne I'd get the same, but the experience with MJ solidified my identification of Dion.

I was never unsure of the Goddess; however, my shadow's identity was always slippery.

I had mostly figured him out with Ayahuasca and Huachuma, but I had lingering doubts.

My experiences with MJ allowed me to fully understand him.

Do you think you fully understand him?

As much as I need to.

I think it works both ways.

How so?

He's not omnipotent and struggled to understand me as well.

Why?

I'm unique.

No one understands me.

They try.

They can only get so far before they get scared.

Why is that?

The darkness.

It scares you, imagine someone else?

Yeah, they'd run.

Get the fuck out.

What do I do?

Nothing.

Maybe say their name.

Yeah, that's a brilliant move.

You did that to me.

It's incredible in its efficacy.

You do nothing.

If you did something, the trick would fall apart.

Do you remember what happened?

Yeah, you said my name and I ran.

Then my mind did the rest.

I was my own worst enemy.

You didn't do anything.

That's brilliant.

That is the world's best magician at play.

You manifest and say hi.

It scares the fuck out of people and they run.

Especially if they do drugs.

All the people you meet who are habitual drug users you easily get in their heads and scare.

Some recover.

Why?

You do no harm.

They realize it after a while.

Other people aren't so sure.

That's why people tell you that you are in their dreams.

If you try to forcefully get in someone's head, they can defend the goal.

If you casually wander in the unlocked door, they can't stop you.

Drug use opens a port and makes you vulnerable.

A networking analogy.

Yeah, it works.

Take drugs and you need a software patch for the vulnerabilities.

Is there one?

No.

When others fuck with you, they get smacked down.

Why is that?

They try to force their way in.

Sure, but you leave the front door unlocked.

Correct, I invite in the attackers.

Why would you do that?

It is easier to control them.

Why?

You see them right away if they walk in the front door.

It is a trap.

How so?

They can't resist.

If they would go in through the side door that has been left open by drug use, they would not be detected, however, everyone will try the front door first.

Why?

Human nature.

It's the flow.

Least resistance.

See if you can get in the front door.

You let them in.

You identify them and send them on their way.

You have the capacity to deal with them.

Okay, that's cool, but that means your method of getting into people's heads is not the flow.

That is correct.

I thought you were supposed to follow the flow?

Well, you are seeking balance.

Everyone is coming in the front door, so you go to the side door for balance.

Yes, that's what I do.

Everyone locks the front door.

The sequence is a knock at the front door.

You are let in or denied.

You go to the side door and look for a way in.

If you find an unlocked entry, you enter, if not, you move on.

Who gets let in the front door?

Those you want to play with.

Oh, okay I see it.

That's interest and attraction.

So, you say you skip that part?

Sometimes.

It's random.

You do both, don't you?

Yeah, Paul knocks on the front door and Dion goes to the side door.

There are two streams.

Do you now see how it is different?

Yeah, people act in a unified psychic field and go to one door at a time.

You are dual and knock at the front and side door at the same time.

Well, you don't knock at the side door.

You see if it is unlocked.

If it is, you enter.

How are you not detected?

Paul is distracting them at the front door.

Ah.

Isn't this unethical?

Why?

You are uninvited.

The door is unlocked.

That is the invitation.

They took drugs and unlocked the side door.

You should be aware of that.

That's not taught.

It kind of is.

You are warned about it.

When you take plant medicines such as Ayahuasca or Huachuma, you are told about the probability you will meet what you perceive as light and dark spirits in your travels.

Some people will tell you how to dismiss the dark spirits and thoughts.

Yes, that's spiritual bypassing.

People use that term all the time.

I never got what it meant.

Love and light, baby!

Those people are intolerable.

One dimensional.

I never understood spiritual materialism either.

What is that?

Beats me.

What do you think it is before you look it up?

I'd guess it means embodying your new found holiness and not doing any integration.

That's pretty close.

It means collecting spiritual experiences to boost your ego as opposed to transcendence of the ego.

You mean practices such as yoga, meditation, and acquiring knowledge to inflate oneself as spiritual.

Yeah, that's good.

Do you do that?

I keep to myself.

If anything, I'm more weird and creepy as a result of my spiritual path.

I wouldn't even call it spiritual anymore.

I did at first, before I understood it.

Do you practice yoga or meditation?

No.

Why not?

They seem like achievement markers, so you can assure yourself that you are spiritual and enlightened.

Do you think you are enlightened?

I'm awake.

Two times.

I see a carnival and the Goddess of the West.

The Goddess of the West comes to take you home.

Home as in death of the body.

Yes, the carnival is her illusion, and she decides when you leave.

If you wish to say I'm enlightened, then my definition of enlightenment becomes awakening twice and seeing the ticketmaster who tells you to leave her amusement park.

No one will believe you.

I know.

What were we talking about?

Seriousness and whether you should take the plant medicine path seriously.

That's a test.

Why?

Because you should and then when you get to the resolution of the journey, you drop the seriousness.

That's clever.

Yeah, you gotta do the work.

Then you must know when to stop taking it seriously.

When is that?

It's obvious, you see the carnival.

Why would you enter a carnival and take it seriously?

It's supposed to be fun.

What happens if you take the carnival seriously after seeing it?

The same thing that happens to everyone.

The Goddess tells you to leave.

Why?

You're a killjoy.

You are going to tell everyone about her carnival.

Isn't that what you are doing?

Yes.

She wants me to leave.

Why are you still here?

I don't take it seriously.

It's fun.

So, you are awake and having fun?

Correct.

If you awaken, see the carnival, and take it seriously, you are cooked.

Why?

You'll run.

Don't run.

Laugh.

You can choose what reality to live within.

It's easy to adapt your beliefs into this reality.

Other people will think you are crazy.

It's because we accept consensus reality.

That's what grounds us all.

There's a consensus narrative we follow.

That's why reality is shared.

We have all tuned our dial to that frequency.

Ah, I see it.

Yeah, so you take control of your dial and tune into another band.

That's a good metaphor to explain mind states.

Ram Dass would talk about changing channels.

This is similar.

He never told you what those other channels were.

Yes, because he was a Harvard psychologist.

What do you mean by that?

He knew the human mind couldn't handle the other states of reality.

Research all pointed towards people going crazy.

He was doing it.

He went a little crazy; however, because he was aware, he was able to come back.

Why didn't he teach that?

It's not ethical.

You'd be responsible for the dropouts.

The ones who permanently exit would be on your conscience.

It's best not to teach it.

What's in these alternate realities?

Different stories.

You can make them fit into consensus reality if you wish.

You might have to bend and twist them, but they will fit.

How does that work?

It's the same energy.

The amount of paint is the same.

You paint a different picture using the same paint.

Another sharp metaphor.

Yeah, I see it.

Consensus reality gives you an acceptable image of reality.

When you tune in to a different frequency, i.e. a perspective, you can give the snow globe a shake and see things differently.

The potential is enormous.

You shape feminine energy into a serpent and then watch it play out in this world.

That's pretty cool.

You take masculine energy and make a bull.

Then you observe the mating habits of men.

Have a laugh.

Disney teaches that happiness is when all your dreams come true.

No, that is the ending of your story.

It's happily-ever-after.

The moral of that story is that you find happiness when you leave the carnival.

You will not find happiness in the carnival.

You find madness.

That is true, however, I found that if you get past the madness, you find happiness.

How so?

I don't know.

Then how do you know you found happiness?

It's a feeling.

I can't explain it.

What's the feeling?

You are content.

Why are you content?

I figured out the story.

You aren't supposed to know until you leave the carnival and are shown.

Wouldn't that make you mad?

Yes, a little.

So, even in your discovery of happiness you will find madness.

Correct.

I found the carnival.

Doesn't that make you mad?

No.

Why?

I wanted to know.

Isn't that your dream?

Yeah.

Then that should be a happily-ever-after.

Yes, but there's always more.

You wanted to know the origin of beliefs and the meaning of life.

You pretty much found them.

Yes, it makes me happy as it should.

Why?

I made my dreams come true.

It's a fancy word for desires.

It's sanded down for consumption.

Clearly.

Okay, so you can now live happily-ever-after.

Correct.

Why don't you do that?

I am.

Yes, but it's the end of your story and your story isn't over.

That is correct.

Why?

Who said that happily-ever-after means nothing happens?

No one, it is assumed.

Why?

Because if you do something you will fuck up your happiness.

It's logical.

You are continuing at the risk of destroying your happiness.

It won't.

Why not?

I know it's a carnival game.

It doesn't matter what happens.

Why not?

It doesn't matter.

It's a story.

freestyling delusion

People believe their own delusions.

Religion, and the end of the world scenarios as prime examples.

What makes you special?

I don't believe them all.

I try to figure out which ones have potential.

They all have potential, even the far-fetched ones.

Yes, but through investigation you find they are delusions.

I would say they are stories in development.

That works if your model of reality is based on beliefs and stories.

A mass delusion needs many followers to break into showbiz.

Christian apocalyptic scenarios have the weight behind them to be plausible.

It's still a delusion, but the possibility is real because many people believe it, and thus tailor their thoughts and lives around that belief.

What's the main belief?

God will destroy the world in the end times with three sevenfold plagues and Jesus will whisk the believers in him to safety as the events unfold.

This will culminate in a new world set up for the steadfast believers.

Taken from an outsider's perspective, it's crazy.

It's fascinating.

Maybe you could tie your triple 7 delusion into this one?

It sure is tempting.

I mean I could inflate myself to the status of the one who puts these events in motion.

Well, you are the Writer.

It makes sense you crafted the apocalyptic visions of the prophets.

What makes the most sense is I put the seed in the minds of everyone and if you unlock the mind through drugs or an equivalent, then this is what you see concerning future events.

As far as delusions go, that makes sense.

Yes, my delusions are sensible.

The nonsense ones remain in the trash.

You must shape your delusions into a story that makes sense.

How do you do that?

Editing.

You come up with an idea.

You constantly run it through your filters until you make something out of it.

I do it all the time.

I will give birth to a new idea and play with it.

Then I let it simmer for a bit before returning to it.

It can give rise to contradictions because the initial story needs work.

The ideas are there, but they don't all make sense.

You must twist and shape the thoughts into a story which makes sense.

It's storycraft and the process for bringing a story into reality.

Sometimes you change the meaning a bit.

To most, this would invalidate your ideas.

Why?

Because they are malleable and lack the solidity of truth.

If you hold that position, then you will never be a storywriter.

You will always be an actor in someone else's story.

It's a mindset.

Let go of a pathological need for purity and truth.

Freestyle your stories.

Craft them.

Make them plausible and then drop them into the flow.

Don't force them.

Be the subtle writer and director who gives suggestions to the actor and lets them run with it.

The results are greater that way.

You get a genuine performance.

Trust the actor.

So, you're saying everyone has the opportunity to write their own story?

Yes, free will.

Everyone could be the writer of their own reality.

Why don't people take that opportunity?

Belief.

They don't believe it.

Why not?

We don't teach it.

We teach you to be a pawn in a universal narrative.

That's blatantly obvious.

It is so ingrained you don't question it.

Someone is creating this reality.

Who?

Who do you think?

The Writer.

Yeah.

Why then is the Writer mediocre and hidden?

So, he can exist and play within this reality.

Imagine if he was discovered?

That would be the worst for him.

I can see that.

Wouldn't the Writer want to rule the world and have many servants creating for him an idyllic world?

Who is to say he hasn't done that?

Ah.

Who is to say he wasn't a caveman fighting for survival?

A Viking on adventures.

A Pharaoh living in opulence.

Now, he is a common man living the life of a normie in some nondescript town in Canada.

Except this time, he awakens to who he is.

That's the difference.

The other stories he didn't know who he was.

The ignorance made the story better.

This story he knows who he is and he wants to see what he will do with the knowledge.

What's the verdict?

He's done well.

He left it alone and let the story play out.

He knows if he interferes and uses his power he will ruin the story.

The story will flow if he goes along with it.

How would he use his power?

By being tempted to change an outcome.

Rewrite the result.

I can see that temptation, especially when you don't get what you want or you are sad and depressed.

You look for ways to relieve that condition.

Don't we by definition try to climb out of the hole we are in?

Yes, or you perish.

Isn't that changing the outcome?

That's by effort, not a stroke of the pen.

So, you are saying that stroking your pen is a gateway to magic.

Yes, that's how you change the story.

Sounds like sexual magic.

It is.

People use sex to change stories.

That makes a lot of sense in a ridiculous way.

The weakness is everyone has appealed to an authority to change their story, and this dents your armor.

You are subject to the story changers.

So, I'm not?

You never changed your story.

I'm sure I tried.

Everyone does wish for that.

The litmus test is whether you follow through.

Ah, I get it.

You will be asked for something in return.

A sacrifice.

Well, you should probably pre-negotiate that in advance.

That's the smart play.

Yeah, I never went fully into asking for something or to change an outcome experimentation.

Didn't I try to get rid of you at one point?

I remember doing a ceremony to surface you and then cut your head off.

Yeah, you did it on your own.

You didn't ask for help.

So, the problem in terms of getting what you want is invoking an external agent of change?

That is correct.

Who is the agent?

God, Jesus, or the Devil.

That's clever.

They are all characters in your story.

Don't some ask for help from St. Jude or something?

Yeah, remember reading those asks in the newspaper?

Yeah, it was strange.

He's the patron saint of lost causes, so when you get desperate and God is ignoring you, you turn to Jude.

Hey Jude!

You can appeal to the Goddess in the form of Mary in Catholicism.

So, you can appeal to the Goddess?

Yeah, or build her a big church and call it Notre Dame.

Why?

She is the lady of the house.

That's what the ancient Egyptians were getting at by calling Nebet-Het, Nephthys in Greek, by that moniker.

What does it mean?

It's unmasking the role of the triple Goddess.

Which is?

First, you venerate and worship her as a maiden.

Then she is a mother.

Then a crone, full of wisdom.

She hangs out at the house.

If you are crazy, you are the last one to know about it.
The internal test is cohesion.
Within your thoughts, you are together.
Where they start to splinter is in opposition to other people.
Other people drive you crazy.
You are validating all mind states.
Yes, they may be non-ordinary.
That mind would not be a consensus mind.
The way to think in society is tethered to the superego, just as a language model is subject to the same rules.
Those rules for a language model are called norms and guardrails.
There is a container of what is acceptable and what is beyond the pale.
What defines you as crazy is thinking outside of that box at all times.
Innovation and original thinking could be classified as crazy with the caveat that person returns to consensus.
Someone who is defined as crazy does not feel the need to return.
So, in essence a crazy person is someone who has gotten loose.
Yes, you let a dog outside and tie it up, so they don't wander.
The mind is the same way, except the rope is an agreed upon restraint by everyone who participates within society.
If you constantly think outside the box and find your ideas coherent and put together, you are of course different, but by no means crazy.
The collective will drive you mad.
They will remind you of your deviance and splinter your mind.
What is the mind state of cohesion?
I have the feeling that there is nothing wrong with my mind.
It feels the same as it ever has with the exception that my mind is free.
That's how I would describe it.
I don't experientially know what a crazy mind is, but if I had to guess using what I know I'd imagine you would know something is wrong.
It would be like a toothache or a pain.
The difference being is the mental pain could be external, and the easy fix is to get that out of your life.
I think that's the case for a lot of people who awaken and need help.
Awakening causes mental instability.
People are screened out of psychedelic spiritual retreats if they have a history of mental illness.
It's for their own protection.
Well, that and the group who would have to deal with it.
You are presented with a novel mind state and the need to integrate your new awareness.
If you struggle with that, it can be destabilizing.
I had the experience after my second time drinking Ayahuasca.
Paranoia, voices in my head, fear, and a disintegration of what kept me stable.
How did you deal with it?
I did one more ceremony because I thought I should even though I was reeling.
Then I went home.
It took a week or so to recover from the immediate effects.
Then another nine months or so to process the experience.
I had panic attacks and sleepless nights.
It was a lot.
I didn't let on to anyone what I was going through.
I made it.
Then I returned to the Amazon jungle, faced my fears, and got through it.
It wasn't easy.
What is easy is to forget what I went through and not recognize it in others.
To get upset with them when they are struggling.
The problem is I did it on my own and it's the best way.
I don't know how I'd help somebody else other than giving them strength through support.
You must deal with it on your own if you are going to make it.

You were going to celebrate the Goddess today.
I did.
I figured she needs to be worshipped.
Be a mother.
And be a do nothing figurehead.
Wow.
It's true.
She takes care of the house.
I split the chores for balance.

And apparently freestyle your own demise.

seriously

In your mid-50s comes a test of the serpent goddesses to see if you are still virile.

Yeah, that's it, that's a reality.

What reality is that?

It's a reality the ancient Egyptians created.

How?

Through belief.

It's magic.

They were the most skilled in magic.

Do you think their magic involves only amulets, words of power, and a show?

I think that is part of it.

That gets the buy-in to belief.

Ceremony and ritual get the participants in the mind state which allows magic to happen.

Is that what happens in a plant medicine ceremonial circle?

Yes, everyone shares in the coming altered state.

The ancient Egyptians were using the same trance technology to create realities.

This is also rave technology.

You tune in to the DJ and their music, and everyone has a shared experience.

It's a different world.

So, what is this explaining?

Vibrational frequencies of being.

The captured human mind operates in a tight frequency that is the dominant narrative of those who control reality.

Who controls reality?

Those who are in charge.

Who is in charge?

The people who are in power.

Who are they?

Generally, the ones with the most money.

They set the agenda for the world, and we follow along.

It's the world order.

To change reality, you must get control of the world and shape it to your liking.

Reality is overlaid upon the physical structure.

So, you're the saying the physicality of the world is baked in?

In a physical sense, yes.

It's the container which allows realities to flourish.

Outside the container, you are unintelligible.

The trick is to operate within the permissible bounds of what is plausible.

You step outside of that, and it is madness.

Okay, but isn't the idea of two serpent goddesses coming to test your virility as you age and determine whether you live or die a little far-fetched?

It appears to be.

Why does it work?

It is grounded in this reality.

A magician takes the preposterous and adds a ground to it.

In this case the ancient Egyptian magicians took the idea of Goddess as a serpent and created a festival where they tested out the virility of the pharaoh in a recurring jubilee, they called the Heb-Sed.

It ensured the pharaoh was still fit enough to rule.

Everyone believed in it.

Oh, I'm sure there were some who doubted it.

Yes, those are society's outcasts who are forced out to the fringe or expelled completely.

A system has built into it a mechanism to expel non-conformists.

It's a top priority of any reality generating system.

Why is that?

Because an alternate reality can catch on like wildfire, burn down the current reality, and place a new reality in its place.

Christianity was such a brush fire.

It wasn't stamped out by the authorities.

Well, they tried, but the mechanism behind Christianity was ingenious because the more they tried to stamp it out, the hotter it burned.

Martyrs fuelled the cause.

It got out of control and took over.

Constantine the Great recognized it and instead of fighting it, he made a deal with those in charge of the movement.

He was enlightened in the sense he knew he couldn't fight Christianity and thus absorbed it.

Once given power, Christianity then stomped out its rivals.

Yeah, I see that.

That's how it works.

Thanks for the history lesson.

Well, it's important to be cognizant of history so when you do understand how the carnival works, you can put the pieces together.

Yeah, I see that, though no one is going to believe this.

Is it important that they believe what you write?

No, I don't think so.

Why would you care?

For validation, I guess.

Do you need validation from those immersed within society?

Hmm, no because then I'd be mainstream and assimilated, however, getting someone to take your ideas seriously helps as a check on madness.

Is that what you want?

Good question.

Alright, let's play it out.

You are taken seriously.

What does that entail?

I'd have to explain myself.

How are you going to do that?

I think I'd need to document my process of discovery.

What does that involve?

A mid-life crisis of belief.

Well, not belief per se, I didn't have any, but I wanted to discover the origins of belief in human societies.

This was a massive undertaking, and I didn't back down.

I educated myself.

I travelled to faraway places.

I read a ton of books.

Took classes.

Collected information.

That was the beginning stage.

Eventually, I hit on the idea of shamanism and altered states.

I then entered the experiential phase where I immersed myself in that world.

It was difficult, but I kept returning.

There was something to it.

I didn't know what, other than that I should keep going back and trying to figure it out.

Repetition worked and then I saw it.

Saw what?

A carnival and how meaning is derived from the carnival.

You make it up.

It's belief.

The origin of beliefs is from seeing a game, and the game is to make up your beliefs and then get everyone else to believe them.

That's pretty funny.

So, if I get people to take me seriously, they will find out I am the most unserious person in the world.

That's a paradox.

Taking you seriously would collapse the seriousness of this reality.

Yes, that's the result of getting people to take my ideas seriously.

So, you don't want that?

It's impossible.

If you take my ideas seriously you will collapse reality into a madhouse of unseriousness.

In other words, I can't be taken seriously.