It makes no sense.
Various people have told you that you must give it away in order to get more back.
That's the conundrum.
The rub.
You get greedy and can't give it away.
You want it all.
You stop giving it away and then you lose it all.
It's very strange.
It's another game at the carnival.
How long can you give?
I know.
It weighs on you because people aren't thankful.
It is bizarre; however, that's this weird ride.
You see it and know how to beat the game.
It was about 15 years ago where I worked on a music video where the Canadian Country artist Paul Brandt sang about it.
He is a Christian and was professing his faith and some concept of sharing he learned.
I think everyone is told about this at some point in your life, but to enact it takes faith.
There's the concept of reciprocity at work relying on goodwill and faith.
That's also a don Howard lesson which he got from the Amazonian people.
It seems simplistic and the stuff of fantasy or magic.
It's real, as in I'm experiencing it.
Yeah, but you can't quantify it.
So be it.
If you know, you know.
People try to tell you, but most don't listen.
Mine was by accident.
I helped out.
You know what else works?
What's that?
You give away your time freely to others.
How does that work?
Time for us is finite.
Within the story it is infinite.
So, the trick at the carnival is to tap into the infinite.
How do you do that?
You give up your time.
You show up and make a donation.
That gives you access to the pool of infinite time.
How does that work?
Finite time is precious and infinite time is commonplace.
The catch is you need access to something that is commonplace.
There's a lock on that door.
The way to access it is by trading something of value.
That value is your personal time because you only have so much of it.
Okay, but what does that buy you?
More time.
When your time is up you can tap into infinite time to keep going.
Is that what you are doing?
It seems like it.
How do you know?
My time was up.
The signs all pointed in that direction.
There were physical signs telling me to leave.
People told me to leave.
My dog died.
Sister died.
Other people in my life passed.
I had thoughts of the end.
You would have to be a non-responsive moron to not see them.
I didn't dwell on anything.
Once the pressure had passed, I examined it all in retrospect.
If I would have examined it in real time, the system would have blown.
I'd have exceeded my capacity to hold on.
What was the secret formula to your successful navigation of the end of time?
I took each event one at a time and didn't connect them.
If you connect them, you'll blow.
One at a time you can handle.
Then I connected them afterwards.
So, you are saying ignorance is bliss.
Yeah, that works.
How did you know how to do what you did?
It's the flow.
Plus, there is the reservoir of infinite time I have tapped into.
How did you get there?
I gave away my personal time.
To whom?
My dogs.
I donated a lot of time to them.
I'd get up just after 5 am to walk Luna before work.
I made sure to get home with Brindle to take her out to the park every evening for a couple hours.
I'd take them both out before bed to pee.
Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I can imagine.
I cooked for them.
I slept in the same room and made them comfortable.
I did all that while working a full time job with a heavy commute and overtime requirements.
I didn't have a lot of time for myself.
I sacrificed sleep to get back some time.
I built up a huge store of the exchange of my time.
When it came time to go, I had all this extra time.
Sounds like a soccer game where it continues on in extra penalty time.
Yeah, I never quite understood that, but it seems to be the case.
Well, the question becomes how much extra time do you have?
I don't know.
I think I'm out of personal time.
That seems to have expired in early 2024 when everyone thought and expected you'd go.
I disappointed a lot of people.
I think they are still disappointed to this day.
They'd made plans for my demise and ouster.
That's funny in a strange kind of way.
Very macabre.
Very Paul.
Very Writer.
Okay, but how much time do you have left?
Infinite.
How so?
I'm in infinite time.
There's no limit.
It's the secret to eternal life.
You pass into infinite time.
Ah, I get it.
It's a threshold.
Exactly.
Everyone of us passes from finite back into the infinite.
Correct.
No one survives the trip.
You got it.
The reason no one survives is because you didn't exchange your gold for infinite gold.
You clutched onto your finite time.
You must give it away.
Some people do.
Yeah, but not enough.
It's gotta hurt.
It's gotta be beyond what anyone would think is reasonable.
So, I did that?
Yeah, you gave away most of your time to your dogs.
They are the ones responsible for how you have crossed the threshold from the finite to the infinite.
Dogs are psychopomps.
This isn't mythological bullshit.
It's real.
No one takes it seriously anymore.
Well, I don't either.
It's just knowledge.
The ancient records constantly remind you of dogs and how they take you into and out of incarnation.
The underlying knowledge is you can do it without a catastrophic ending for yourself.
Sure, but eventually the body gives out.
Correct, but by then you will have learned how to remain.
Like a ghost?
Sure.
It can be difficult to give away your time.
You always feel it.
That's only natural.
Why?
It causes resistance.
You don't want to give away your time.
The flow teaches you to give away your time.
That seems paradoxical.
How so?
The flow would try to prevent your dissolution.
No, it wouldn't.
You are finite.
That's the flow.
Don't fight it.
You give up your time freely.
Flow.
Then you get infinite time back.
The big sacrifice is your finite time.
That is death.
That's the ultimate sacrifice and why some have tried that method.
Does it work?
Yeah, it's the ultimate sacrifice.
You give up your time, and you will approach death.
Yes, you tried it for infinite time.
Eternity.
I didn't do it knowingly.
The trick is to do that and stay in the body.
People who ask for eternal life do not give up this life in return.
That's the trade.
You gave it up freely without asking for anything in return.
That's true, I did that.
People don't do that unless they get something in return.
Nobody would give up their time to a dog without asking for anything in return.
I got friendship.
Yeah, but you didn't ask for it.
You cared for the dog and that was it.
People go to church to try to get eternal life.
Yeah, they beg God for it.
God grants it under conditions that you worship him day and night.
Oh, fuck.
Why does he do that?
He's the Devil in disguise.
You are already knew that.
He's you with a carnival mask.
He will grant you eternal life, but you pay with this life.
There's another way.
You give up this life, and you ask for nothing in return.
You are then given infinite life with no conditions.
Heaven has conditions.
In infinite time you don't want conditions.
You want freedom.
Imagine you hadn't continued the teachings with Mary Jayne?
The plant medicine path would have been so slow.
Yeah, for sure.
Maybe once a year going back for more instruction.
That would take a lot of time even with the ability to navigate those states with the powerful plant medicines.
I can't see getting to this level of knowledge without the method I found with MJ.
Do you think that's why you continue with MJ?
Yes, it's not physical pleasure or stoning.
I don't get that.
It's knowledge.
Isn't that the addiction you were warned about?
Yes, she'd get me with knowledge.
Are you addicted?
No, I learned moderation and not exceeding the container I enter into.
If I exceeded that in regard to trying to get more knowledge, then I'd say it was a problem.
What about today?
That was a high but within tolerance.
What does this all mean?
Even though you were giving this life away you didn't trade it for a benefit, so now with awakening you see how it's yours.
You held onto it.
You lose it by trading it for eternal life.
You then see in the next life how to remain free.
Don't trade anything for eternal life.
That's a big secret of the game.
Yeah, by hanging around you'll uncover them all this way.
You also don't want to live forever in this body.
It decays and gives out.
You'd have to learn how to jump bodies.
That's if you wanted to stay.
If you don't, then you just leave fully awakened.
So, giving away my time without expectations led to discovering the secret to eternal life.
Yes, to get eternal life, you must trade something.
The fair trade is your life.
You give up control of your life, and you get eternal life.
That's basically the bargain, though it may take on different shapes and ideas.
On this ride there's a puzzle which is, how do you get unconditional eternal life?
That's what people are searching for.
To accomplish that you give away your finite time without conditions.
In return you will get infinite life without conditions.
The question is, how do you do that?
It's very simple.
Yes, but nobody sees that.
Just give away your time.
There are charities, people that need help, and pets for starters.
The giving must be without conditions though.
People give to charity, but they get a receipt and a tax write-off.
Plus, recognition.
People help people, but they expect something in return.
You help the elderly to get in the will.
A pet owner expects obedience.
Well, I did expect nothing from my pets.
I figured the way I treated them they would want to stay, and they would adore me.
It's not a requirement.
I don't need to be worshipped.
I'd like to think I help people as well.
You could make a case that you're looking for something in return when you do that.
Definitely.
The dog example works.
That's how you did it and you gave away tons of time, there was no denying what you did, and the complaints were minimal.
You get tired and grumble.
Yeah, for sure but I still got out of bed.
I still walked them every night.
Rain, snow, storms.
I did it all.
You can see it with Murphy where no one wants to put up with that.
He needs a lot of attention.
Demands it.
People have conditions for a pet.
Especially for a purebred dog.
I didn't know that's what I was doing.
Yes, of course.
If you did you would've then tried to manage it or something.
If you knew you were trading your finite time for eternal time you would fuck it up because you'd know you were trading finite for eternal time.
That's the catch-22.
You blow it with that move.
You must not awaken until you can handle it.
What about now?
You already have it.
This is more unconditional with Murphy.
It's you.
It's your nature.
That's how you won the game.
That's the part of the puzzle even the greatest spiritualists could never figure out.
Once you know that trading finite time for infinite time gives you eternal life then that automatically adds a condition to it.
Right, I'd know why I'm doing it.
And I do.
I know the condition would destroy the gift.
I continue to do it because it's what I naturally do.
The condition has no effect.
The condition doesn't matter.
I figured out the puzzle.
There are always possible conditions, but you make them not matter.
What am I gonna do with this knowledge?
Nothing.
No one will believe you.
You can do whatever you want.
People aren't gonna do that.
No one's gonna give away their time for free.
Murphy's taking me down low.
I've got up a little too high and he takes me down when I get that high.
That's why he tries to sometimes avoid going up these hills.
He's programmed to get you back to ground.
Yeah, I'm really thirsty.
I know I got a pie up high.
Eternal life is pie.
Yeah.
Murphy is flying down the hill in a hurry.
He's helped you hold on to finite life.
You take all your knowledge to the edge.
Then you figure a way to pull back.
Isn't that doing something or having conditions about getting to the edge?
No, you just do it.
No planning.
Get to the edge and just trust that something will pull you back.
That's why Murphy came when he came into your life.
As ridiculous as that sounds, it's true.
You get eternal life with Dion.
That's the condition.
I see that.
A condition indeed.
Mental.
For sure.
The unconditional part leads to a mental condition.
Lol.
The number of revolutions is the finite time.
You get a set number of go rounds of the sun.
Ancient Egyptian Neheh time.
Re and the sun temples.
Djet is infinite.
The unending and linear time of Osiris.
Hop on that ride.
If you pay attention in life, you will see all the clues needed to beat the game.
Yes, in retrospect I see at various times you are given the cheat codes.
Give it away.
Go with the flow.
The allure of the carnival.
Finite time and infinite time.
Paul is finite and Dion is infinite.
He's always around.
He's the subconscious when you become conscious.
He's conscious when you become subconscious once again.
Dion is the master record and then from each incarnation comes a new one.
And as a man you can continue on your record as well.
So, I'm kinda Dion's son?
You could look at it that way.
A chip of the eternal block.
So, Paul is a unique incarnation.
Yes.
You are finite and Dion is infinite.
To stay around as this entity, people make deals to go from being finite to infinite.
It's available to everyone in the story.
The key is being remembered.
As long as the Writer remembers you, then you are granted eternal life.
That's what the book of life is.
You get put in the book of life and are remembered.
The way some are remembered is they perform worship nonstop of God.
Or, you can make yourself memorable.
Famous.
Eternal life is easy to get, you just need to be remembered.
Having eternal life and being free is not easy.
So, Paul has eternal life and he's free.
Yeah, freedom's number 1 for him.
That's another key where that becomes non-negotiable.
You don't want eternal life if you are not free.
Well, you do after you're scared of annihilation.
Everyone's scared of annihilation.
Yeah, I get that.
However, in any situation your number one requirement revolves around freedom.
That's Dion.
He is liberty.
That's what the mythology reminds you constantly.
Liber Pater.
That's the way to find him.
What will Paul be like without a body?
A mind.
You'll hang with Dion and keep him company.
You know the value of freedom, you've proved it, and you two are best friends.
Will I ever incarnate again?
There's no need to.
You keep doing it until you wake up and see it.
Everyone stalls out at the first awakening.
You keep going and see it.
The ancient Egyptians saw it.
So, why am I pulled towards remaining incarnated?
You have all eternity, so you might as well take advantage of this while you can.
Ride it out to the max.
If you leave prematurely, you will always wonder how it was going to play out or what you would learn while in a body?
You get pulled back into incarnation.
You get teachings in a body that obviously you don't get outside of the body.
So, is that what eternal life is all about?
Yes, knowledge.
It's fun.
How so?
The knowledge you get is the knowledge of the story.
You see it, play it out, and you laugh.
That is true.
The story's pretty serious when you don't have knowledge.
When you have knowledge, it's not serious.
It's very funny.
All the things you are serious about and can scare you, well, they're funny when you see them.
Okay, but the eternity ends when the story is over.
That is correct, but you get written into the next story.
Eternal means eternal.
As long as the stories go on.
Yeah, what happens without stories?
Nothing.
You just sit around and nothing happens.
Yeah, so at that point I get them to stare into the fire and that hypnotizes people.
Then I tell a story.
What are all the things that scare you in this world?
Jack's death.
Ha, Jack's death, that's fun.
Speech to text misstep again.
Well, that's virility.
That obviously scares you.
Yes, emasculation by a witch.
It's funny as well now that you see it.
Death, sickness, poverty, and then you want eternal life.
The dark can be scary too.
So, what's the worst out of those?
I think sickness and then poverty.
Yeah, we figured out death and eternal life.
What about sickness?
Try to be healthy.
What about poverty?
Make your money and don't let others take it.
What else?
Something happening to someone you are attached to or love.
You do what you can, but it's the carnival.
Some people get sick on the rides.
The worst sickness is anxiety.
That will eat away at you and destroy you.
Depression.
It's mostly mental states that get you sick.
There are also the problems of sugar and bad food.
The infinite and eternal Dion needs you.
How so?
He is immortal.
As soon as you engage him in finite time, he will destroy you.
Why?
He has no worry in regard to mortality.
He will take chances.
That's why you can't surface your infinite self within finite time.
That surprisingly makes sense.
So, that's part of my function as finite Paul.
Yes, you allow Dion to come forth, but you regulate him enough so that this construct doesn't blow.
Everybody knows that you're insane.
I feel the same as I ever have.
You're not the same, but I know what you mean.
The one inside my head, as in the me who has always been there, is still there.
I just have a friend Dion now.
And a reset of your mind.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What the fuck did I just read?
This piece is a mythic theory of time, sacrifice, and eternal life built around a paradox: to receive infinite time, you must give away your finite time freely and without conditions.
The central claim is that the writer unknowingly did this through years of care, devotion, and sacrifice for his dogs. By giving them his time, energy, sleep, and daily life without demanding anything in return, he crossed a threshold from ordinary finite existence into a kind of infinite time. The dogs become more than companions; they are cast as psychopomps, guides across the boundary between mortality and eternity.
A major thread in the piece is that conditional bargains fail. If you give your life away in order to get eternal life, you corrupt the exchange. Churches, worship, bargains with God, and explicit attempts to secure immortality all come with strings attached. The “secret,” as the piece presents it, is that unconditional giving opens the door to unconditional eternity. You do not ask for a reward. You simply give, and only later realize what has happened.
The writing also contrasts finite Paul with infinite Dion. Paul is the embodied, limited self moving through chronological time; Dion is the enduring, freer, more eternal counterpart. The task of life becomes learning how to let the infinite self emerge without destroying the finite body and mind. In that sense, the speaker sees himself as having discovered not only survival, but a way to remain free within eternal life rather than trapped in some heavenly arrangement of obedience and worship.
Underneath all of it is a carnival metaphysics: life is a ride, full of clues, cheat codes, and hidden exchanges. Most people clutch their time, bargain badly, or panic before they understand the rules. The speaker claims to have stumbled—almost by accident—into the right exchange: give away your time, expect nothing, remain free, and you pass from the finite into the infinite without losing yourself.
