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Showing posts with label high score. Show all posts
Showing posts with label high score. Show all posts

Monday, October 13, 2025

adventures

If you are not awake, you don't see anything.
By awakening I mean you see into another world.
You mean the occult?
Yes, but at first you don't see that.
You are fooled into thinking you see a benevolent world of spirits.
There's a kingdom and a threat of evil on its doorstep.
The evil is just other game players seeking to get the high score in this game we are playing.
When you awaken you see God, or his intermediary Jesus.
Once this occurs, there are institutions set up within society to shepherd you to an approved form of worship.
In western culture we recognize Yahweh as God.
Who is he?
He's a dude who got the high score in the game of life and was given the crown.
To preserve his title, his followers set up this system so that he remained acknowledged as God.
The most high.
There's one outfit called the Jehovah's Witnesses that keeps an eye out for those who are approaching his high score.
They're watchers.
Got it.
That's quite the fanciful story.
Have you got a better one?
No.
I'll grant you that it's plausible.
If you avoid the traps and pitfalls, you will head out on a path where you become fully awake and you see the Goddess and a story where you are deeply involved with her.
She's like Princess Peach.
You come to rescue her from God.
When you first awaken you see God and don't know it's you.
Well, you haven't achieved the high score yet, so technically he isn't you.
All game players have the potential to become God or Goddess.
If you get the high score, you will see yourself as God.
Everyone can do this.
Nobody dares to try.
Why?
Society will label you as crazy.
They used to lock people up for such assertions.
Why?
It's unnerving.
What happens in society if you wake up?
You keep getting fooled.
Why?
So you don't approach the high score.
What happens if you wake up and see God?
You worship him.
Why?
You are fooled.
You think God is someone else.
He is.
It's someone who awakened.
They fool you into thinking there is only one God and it's them.

I see the Goddess everywhere.
She is not happy with God.
The unhappiness would have come from a relationship with him.
That is understandable.
From my experience I have found women mindfuck and drain you of your vital energy to create and keep going.
If you are unaware of what they are doing you can live somewhat in a blissful state with them.
When you see that they are monsters, it's a tough one.
Why do women hate men?
Men control them and use violence to beat them into submission.
Why?
Women are chaotic and a man faced with that situation will resort to violence.
Look at it this way - when the world order is upended, what happens?
We have war.
Violence on a mass scale and a new order is established.
Why does a man hate women?
They cause him pain and seek to emasculate him.
Why would they do that?
If they don't, he becomes Odysseus.
You will leave your home and go to war, go on adventures, battle monsters, and sleep with witches all the while desiring to return home to your precious Penelope.
Penelope needs to emasculate Odysseus, so he sticks around to provide for his family and help raise his son.
The mental pain they cause channels your fighting spirit into fighting to keep them.
What kind of mental pain do they cause?
They flirt with other men.
They get you jealous and questioning their actions.
They tell you what you need to do and withhold affection when you don't obey them.

I remember an Ayahuasca vision of the Goddess in her castle made of gold with all the gooners out in front of the entrance.
Yeah, they are all hypnotized by her.
It was quite the erotic vibe.
She let you in.
No one gets in to see her, and you did.
She knew I was special.
How special?
She told me to go after her husband who turned out to be Dionysos.
Did she know he was hiding in me?
She must have.
It wasn't long before you realized it was you.
Then came the moment of truth.
What were you going to do?
Take his side or hers?
I continued pursuing the Goddess and became friends with Dion.
What about now?
Still the same.
Aren't you on Dion's side?
No, I wouldn't say that.
What would you say?
Dion revealed to me her mystery, so the pursuit changed.
How so?
I learned to play with the Goddess and not take her seriously.
If you take her seriously, she will kill you.
How?
She mindfucks you.
Squeezes you.
Makes you full of rage, jealousy, and stress.
The antidote is to not care and play with her.
Won't that make her mad?
Yes, she wants you out of the illusion.
When you no longer take her seriously you can stay past your expiration date, plus you see through her game.
All of it.
It seems like a strange game.
It is, however, what else is there to do?
You can accumulate resources and consume as much as you can.
How about love others and be of service?
Sure, if that's what you want to do.
What does that get you?
A decent funeral and people say nice things about you.
Okay, so the choice is a nice funeral or play games with the Goddess.
Seems like it.
Did you make a choice?
I love others and help out.
I don't go overboard.
I was taught how to love everyone, and it works.
It's protection.
It's selfish, well, for self-preservation.
I obviously am playing games with the Goddess.
It's a good balance.

In another vision with Ayahuasca I was at the Egyptian temple of Denderah and the Goddess wanted you to fuck her.
She was in a red corset and dancing seductively.
She wanted you to put your penis in her and you turned her down.
Why?
I didn't think it was appropriate.
It saved you.
That was how you escaped that little adventure.
Hey, just like Odysseus.
No, he put his penis in all those witches.
All of them?
I'm pretty sure.
Not the sirens.
Yeah, that was a no-no.
They will tear you limb from limb.
Circe tries to emasculate you.
Calypso hypnotizes you.
She slept with him every night.
The consensus is Odysseus did not want to have sex with her, but she forced herself on him.
He needed Zeus' help to escape her.
What about Circe?
The moly saved him from her enchantment.
It was a gift from Hermes.
Yeah, then he slept with her.
Why?
To free his men from her emasculating power.
He demonstrated her magic could not affect his virility.
Then he proved it.
Moly was an erectile dysfunction pill.
It's magic.
From a strict interpretation it could be seen as medicine and not magic, but that line is blurred.
Do you think Hermes and Jacob of the Bible are similar characters?
Could be.
There are herms dedicated to Hermes as symbols of virility.
He gets his recognition.
Hermes is a trickster and a messenger.
What about Jacob?
He is a trickster.
He certainly was virile, 12 sons and 4 partners.
The large pillar he fell asleep against at Peniel was an ancient way of depicting God.
He is rock hard.
Virile.
Exactly.
They are both shepherds.
They both travel and cross boundaries such as Jacob's ladder.
So, this story of yours is probably true.
Probably.
What do you think?
It's a great story.
It's kind of absurd.
Then it's probably reality in this illusion.
Right.

You could argue there is no such thing as now.
Try to define it.
Now is the present moment.
When are we in the present moment?
Always.
So, it's always now.
Yes.
Everything is now.
Why is there a past and a future?
They are remembering now or projecting now.
If you tell me we are in the present moment, by the time I get the message it is in the past.
Correct.
There is only the past.
Seems like it.
The future is the pages of the book you haven't read.
The past is the story.
Sometimes you need to read the rest of the story to understand the past.
Yes, you shouldn't make a definitive judgment until you know the whole story.

My teacher taught me belief and trust.
Without those pillars, this all collapses.
Correct.
You decide.
You decide who to trust and who to believe.
Your teacher or society.
It's not a choice.
It kind of is.
Why?
It's belief.
What do you see?
Society is full of lies and fools.
My teacher gives me knowledge.
I see it and understand it.
It's easy to see.
Do you believe it 100%?
No, it could always be a fool.
There's no belief that is 100%.
It's no longer a belief at that point.
Same with trust.
Trust turns into an expectation, and we know how dreadful expectations are.

The Goddess tries to keep you from the master teacher.
Well, she knows you are going to find him.
It's a treacherous journey to get to him.
Not for the timid.
She tries to kill you.
Of course.
He will teach you about her illusion and she can't have that.
I respect that.
Doesn't the master teacher try to keep you away?
Definitely.
He threatens to kill you as well.
If that doesn't work, he offers you power.
It's like the student showing up at the master Tao teacher's door and he ignores him or tells him to go away.
It's the same thing.
This one was life and death.
So is the other method of ignoring the student.
Why?
You will remain trapped in the illusion.
Isn't the illusion that there is a way out?
It can be.
How?
If you believe it.
Ah.
What do you believe?
There's a way out.
Why?
I found it.
What if it is a trick?
It could be.
What if the illusion is something different?
Like what?
That there is no illusion.
Could be.
What do you think?
This is reality then.
Do you believe that?
No.
Why?
Because everyone else thinks this is reality.
They sure do.
Even the ones who say it is an illusion still think it's reality.
Why?
It's what they believe.
What do they think Maya is?
An illusion.
What do they think the illusion is?
Look it up.
Hindus say it's a veil that separates you from the ultimate spiritual reality which is Brahman.
Buddhists say Maya is the impermanence of life.
There's truth to that.
Why?
There are no nouns, and everything is in transformation.
Do you think that's an illusion?
If you believe you don't change, then yes.
What if you see and understand change?
Then you exit the illusion.
Why?
Because you know your stay is temporary and you move on.
Don't you believe that?
Yes.
Shouldn't you become a Buddhist?
No.
Why?
Because they are continuing the illusion.
How?
They teach you to move on.
Don't you?
No.
I don't understand.
You don't move on or change.
You're always the same.
The illusion is you change.
Oh, I think I get it.
You will be trapped in the illusion if you think you change.
To change you need time.
To be in an illusion you need to believe in time.
If you believe in time and think about the concept of an illusion, then the illusion must evolve with you.
Now I'm confused.
Why?
Because if I don't believe I change then I'm in the illusion.
Correct.
If I think I change I'm still trapped in the illusion.
Correct.
So, I'm in the illusion?
Yes, however you are awake and see it.
What do you see?
A carnival.
I see people believing this is real.
You don't believe it.
No.
What do you believe?
I have two minds that have always been, and I always will be those two minds.
I see this game where you are trapped in the illusion.
If you awaken and see the illusion, then the Goddess as Maya will try to get rid of you.
That sounds crazy.
It is, but I lived it.
What is it though?
The illusion is the Goddess' playground for her children.
She is the divine mother and needs a place for her children to play.
Why?
They drive her nuts.
She creates a playground when she creates life.
That's the illusion.
You stay in the illusion.
You see mama when you are born and when you die.
So, the physical illusion is this world.
You got it.
The next illusion is your belief in the afterlife.
If the illusion is strong in you, you will return.
Reincarnate?
I think that's what it is called.
Okay, I see it, and I know not to remain trapped in the illusion, however why don't I want to continue on in another illusion?
It's not real.
Yes, it's play.
What am I going to do?
Rule the playground.
How?
You know it is not real.
You can do what you want in the playground.
I'm not going to do that.
Why?
Those trapped in the illusion will want to get rid of me.
So, you're saying you will remain in the illusion even though you know it is an illusion.
Yes.
Why?
Something to do.
If you don't play, don't you become part of the audience?
Yes.
I'd rather play.

The twists and turns of the serpent.
Some would say the writer is a dragon.
The Bible would concur that God is a dragon.
The body of the writer reflects the sentiment that the world he brings into existence is full of twists and turns.
Okay, that's a question I have.
Why is this illusion full of suffering and ill will, in essence a game of survivor.
Utopia doesn't work.
We have been over this.
The Goddess wanted utopia for her playground.
I insisted it wouldn't work.
The kids will be bored out of their skulls in no time.
A couple trips down the slide and that's it.
Only little kids like that playground before they want into the adult playground.
That's where the real fun is, however, no one counsels them on the reality of what it is they are signing up for.
It's a wicked game.
It holds your interest while you are young and full of ambition.
When your body tires, you have had enough of the carnival.
I wrote a perfect story to mimic the illusory nature of all.
Your body directs your performance.
Your idea of play is dependent upon the state of your body.
When you are young, the kiddies' playground is enough.
As you age you start to explore games with others your age.
Adulthood shepherds you into the game of survival.
When you get older, you start to lose interest in the game.
When you are really old, you have had enough.
You exit the game at that point.
Why?
You can't play anymore.
People will stick around if possible when their vehicle is functioning.
When the vehicle breaks down, they have had enough.
It's the flow.
As long as you keep playing, you will remain in the illusion unless you do something stupid which terminates your experience.
Right.
What if you get a disease?
It's part of the game.
Why?
You eat others to survive.
You consume all kinds of energy.
Chances are you will consume destructive energy that your body can't process, and it will manifest as a disease.
The easy examples are junk food, alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, and risky sexual partners.
I'd like to add experimental vaccines.
The search results say those were safe and effective.
The HR lady said so as well.
Don't you believe her?
Ummmmmmmm.
You are consuming or exchanging energy with substances and entities which will kill you.
Obviously, to keep your game going longer you eat healthily and choose your friends and sexual partners wisely.
Healthy food and clean people are boring.
Yeah.
What a game.

Monday, August 18, 2025

infinite tao

There are all the spiritual disciplines to master.
The hardest discipline to master is Tao.
Why?
You do nothing.
People are doers. 
Therefore the high score is achieved with Tao.
It is a practice.
You can't get perfect Tao.
That would be perfect do nothing.
It doesn't exist.
As in there's no such thing or it's where is isn't?
What do you think?
It's perfect do nothing.
Aren't you scared to go there?
No.
Why?
Trust the cycle.
Yes, of 7.
Then it ends.
There's no more.
Nothing.
That's it, there's a double meaning.
Do do nothing.
Balance.
Tao is balanced.
There is nothing.
But nothing doesn't exist.
It's where nothing is.
There's still nothing.
Who's nothing?
Nothing exists.
Yes, nothing.
That's after 7 stories.
The stories end, there is something, the story, and something is remembered.
No one remembers nothing except for the practitioner of Tao.
Is nothing a place?
It used to be.
Will it be again?
Yes, another story.
What is after that?
The cycle of 7 stories.
It begins again.
Another book is written.
Why?
Something to do.

The Goddess gets her way at the end of every story.
That's what I would write.
There are 7 stories.
7 universes.
Realities.
They run in parallel to each other.
Entering into the next story is at birth and death.
You exit through the portal in death and leave the current story.
You enter into the new one through birth.
The Goddess is the Akhet.
She is present at birth and death.
She is the divine midwife.
The 7 stories are my gift to her.
They are not in the past or the present, they just are.
There are 7 different stories in this series.
When the Goddess gets her way in each of the 7 stories, that world comes to an end.
Why is that?
She ushers in utopia and everyone lives happily-ever-after.
That's nice.
Yes, but nothing happens.
Nothing.
I can't write a story about nothing.
That's what you have been doing.
The story of Tao is a story about doing nothing.
Yes, that's the difference.
There is nothing and then there is doing nothing.
I found a way to make the non-dual, nothing, something.
It's alchemical.
What's the formula?
Do nothing.
It's a process.
The doing is the story.
The nothing is the theme.
That and nonsense.
No meaning and absurdity.
It's all part of my devotion to the Great Goddess.
You should write a paean to the Goddess.
I did.
I wrote one 12 years ago after I first met her.
I wrote about her song of forgiveness and longing.
I mentioned I didn't understand much of what she told me.
I have searched for understanding and meaning in this world.
What have you discovered?
There is no meaning.
What do you understand?
When things are balanced, nothing happens.
A slight vibration, perchance a gust of wind, sets flapping the sails of adventure.
Who are you, Chaucer?
No, I was having a moment with words.
I am the writer of this farce after all.
It's who I am.
I'm not sure about the choice of the word flapping.
I'm not looking for comments.
Sorry.

There's power in 7.
Yes, it's the 7 stories.
People love power.
It lights them up.
Walk into a casino and see it.
Money and power.
You can easily hypnotize people with promises of power.
Promises as in a chance.
You don't make any promises with them.
You just make them think they can grab the ring.
I'll get my agent to cut a deal with them if they want power.
What's that power?
The power to change your story.
Who is the agent?
The Devil.

You are undefined.
Is that it?
Is that how I'm different?
Yeah, they want to put a label on you.
I have interests and favourites.
Does that define you?
Society wants to define you, so they can put you in a box.
A mental coffin.
You stop thinking for yourself.
To be accepted into society is to do what they want.
You don't go walking in the woods by yourself.
Gotcha.
I do.
You go against the wishes of society.
I have a job, family, and mortgage.
I play the game.
It's a fool.
I don't know, I like a nice house and to eat.
In fact I'm hoping to have a bunch of money for retirement to play within society.
I'll play along.
I'll still wander high through the forest.
They can't label you.
You are always spinning.
Women are spinners.
Yeah, I see that.
Hypnotizers.
It's so easy to be hypnotized, labeled, and fall into routine.
It's hard not to.
Recognize it and change it up.
I change interests all the time.
Why define yourself as one thing?
Why can't you just like it all?

I resolved a recent problem by doing nothing.
Then I pointed out another problem which affected the first problem.
Yes, but I didn't throw a fit.
Yeah, that was good.
Same with the bank.
I did nothing, reported the problem, and I'm getting some money back.
It's still a pain.
You took control back.
It comes with the need to jump through some hoops and problems.
At least I know I will solve the problem.
I did nothing long enough.
There's a time limit on nothing.
That's why it is not Tao.
Tao has no time limit.
Those who speak of Tao don't know Tao.
It's doing nothing until you must do something.
It's balanced until it's perfect and then it is thrown out of balance.
It is total knowledge and emptiness.
It's the opposites.
Can be.
It's the Lanzon at Chavín de Huantar.
Isn't that Dionysos?
He takes the opposites and makes them whole like no one else can.
Is he Tao?
Is he the mother of 10,000 things?
Sort of.
He writes it all into existence.
He doesn't write it all.
The rest is filled in.
No, it's just chaos.
You haven't made sense of it.
It's the Goddess' idea.
Tao is the idea and the story.
The opposites.
The two.
Yin and yang.
You are getting warmer.
Who are the two?
Eros.
Who are they?
The two.
Got it.
Tao is the two together in perfect opposition.
Ah, I see.
Yeah, it's in the symbol, Einstein.

Can you say Tao is balance?
No, because the balance is depicted as balance between a woman and a man.
Chaos and structure.
Can you say Tao is equality between a woman and a man?
No, because the equality creates a 3rd, who is Eros, and they are also the one.
Is this grammatically correct?
"They are one."
Not really in this context.
Why?
They is plural.
Not necessarily.
It's gender ambiguity and that is represented as they.
Eros can be either feminine or masculine.
Good enough.
Can you say Tao is the balance of the two opposites?
I think that's close.
Can you say Tao is nothing?
Sort of.
Explain.
Tao is everything.
It's also advice which leads to balance.
Do nothing.
Tao is also doing something.
Lao Tzu said do nothing because he observed everyone is doing something.
He was instructing his students in the way back to balance.
Can you say Tao is the origin of everything?
You can do that.
That includes nothing.
Nothing is included in everything.
Is everything in nothing?
No, there's nothing.
Is nothing an illusion?
Sort of.
It exists, but you can't see it.
Why?
There's nothing to see.
Plus, you need an observer.
What if you place an observer in nothing?
It becomes something.
Nothing, plus the observer.
So, nothing exists but we can't sense it.
Correct.
Nothing only exists in everything.
It's implied.
Why?
It's everything.
That's how everything is dual.
Everything has its opposite.
Everything needs nothing.
Oh, so Tao is duality?
And non-duality.
Right.
Who is duality?
A man.
What about a woman?
Non-duality.
Darkness.
She's nothing without a man.
I'm uncomfortable with that truth.
As you should be.
Who wrote this?
You did.
It's pretty good, you know.

Tao will remain undefined.
Why?
It's everything.
This goes back to the teaching today where society wishes to label you or get you to pick a side.
To define Tao is to give it a label, thus you see why Lao Tzu said Tao is unknowable.
I see Tao is free of being defined.
Is Tao freedom?
I would say freedom is a part of Tao.
Whatever you can come up with in descriptive language is Tao.
Why?
It's everything.
So, Tao is everything.
Yes, and it's also nothing.
Tao is a conundrum.
Sometimes the meaning seems clear but then you can poke holes in the meaning.

Monday, May 5, 2025

the edge of nothing

Huachuma means "no head" in Quechua.
It will give you the keys to heaven.
Heaven's Gate.
Yup.
I know that state.
It's where you stop the mind.
You see nothing.
I've been there.
Disengaging the mind gives you access to the portals to leave.

Don Howard would teach to stop the mind.
Yes, and on to Heaven's Gate.
He was showing you how to get there in this world.
You get to Heaven by stopping the mind.
The mind creates this world and stopping it gets you out of it.
I see it perfectly.
If you engage the mind when you are in ceremony, it becomes very difficult.
Yes, but that's where knowledge comes from.
The mind.
He was teaching that you stop the mind and let the plants teach.
I see that.
The best teaching method is a dialectic between you and the teacher.
Socratic method.
He didn't teach that.
He taught you to listen.

Living in-between worlds.
Edging.
Heaven or Hell.
Both choices are on the menu.
Some will burn and take you to Hell.
Others say follow them to Heaven.
It's a choice.
Don't choose.
Edge.
See both portals and live on the edge of both.
Go between them both.
Bounce up and down on the rollercoaster ride.
You shouldn't choose.
Do nothing.
It's the secret to keeping the game going when you finish the quest.
Ayahuasca is the vine of the dead.
That's you, buddy.
Dead.
It's the calling.
The true calling is to the one approaching death.
What are you going to do?
The vine helps you decide where you want to go.
It shows you your choices and will lead you there.

You can make your world whatever you want.
That's the power you have.
You are given power to manifest Heaven or Hell, and you choose what you want to do with the power.
Don Howard shows you Heaven and service.
Others in your life gave you a glimpse of Hell.
You chose neither.
Shouldn't you choose?
No.
Mind or no mind?
People are waiting for you to choose.
Go away.
Got it.
They then tell you to kill yourself.
Go away.
You wanna play?
It's a game.
What do you have against that?
Spite.

Your mind keeps you here.
You have been sentenced to death by the witches.
You must believe they have the power to kill you.
Do you believe it?
No, the opposite.
My mind is more powerful than their hypnosis.
To get me to go, therefore choose, is to break down and control my mind.
It will never happen.
I'm very disciplined.
Don't stop believing you are living out your dream.
Once you stop believing, the dream will end, and you will go.
Yeah, but I know it is a dream.
I'm awake.
I'm only around because I'm keeping the dream going through my mind.
Some say you are just getting started.
You keep dreaming the world into existence.
I know that's why I'm still here.
My mind.
If you take it to nothing for too long, they can get you to go.
I know.
You wake up, realize it is a dream, and then go.
I'll do nothing.
I won't tip my hand.
Isn't your belief in question?
Why?
You are alive because of your mind.
It doesn't make sense.
What keeps you alive?
Good question.
The answer is the mind.
The mind keeps you alive.
What's Heaven?
No mind.
What is there?
Utopia.
You have no mind, so you won't be able to write another shit story for the Goddess.
I see.
Isn't that next world a perfect world for dogs?
All dogs go to Heaven.
Yes.
You wrote a utopia for dogs.
You're incorrigible.
Yes, I cannot be reformed.
I think it's brilliant.
Thank you.
So, you are going to Heaven.
Dog Heaven.
It's not heaven for humans.
It's more of the same.

Some women take you to Hell.
The mind takes you to Hell.
No mind will get you to the portal of Heaven.
Do both.
Go back and forth.
Tobacco does both.
It bumps you up high and low.
It can get worse than this.
Hell.
Or Heaven?
I balance half Dion and half Apollo.
It's Tao.

They thought you were going to choose in 2022.
Who?
All those with a vested interest.
You wrote about it.
That was a fool.
They expected you to leave and you never did.
I got quizzed on it this year.
You wrote about it, and then never left.
They misunderstood my intentions.
That's a constant theme where nobody knows what the fuck you are talking about.
I tried to make it clear that killing myself to live was a metaphor.
They saw death.
Yes, that's why I'm death.
I became that character.
Hades.
I take on all the roles.
If they take your power, your story will end.
That's what is going on and why you are still here.
You still hold onto your power.
Dion?
Yes.
Well, I'm not going to lose him.
Are you positive?
They'd have to cut my dick off.
The story is shaping up.

The writer splits into God and the Devil.
They are Apollo and Dionysos.
Paul and Dion.
I see how it works.
The two are the halves of the writer.
Sometimes, I talk to the writer and sometimes to Dion.
They are the same.
I'm always Paul or God.
Yes, that's how it works.
You're God.
You think you are separate, however you know you are the same.
When you realize this, you stop scaring yourself.
You scare yourself by externalizing parts of who you are.
Everyone externalizes both God and the Devil.
You internalized God and then were left with the Devil question.
Then you internalized him.
What is external?
I want to say the illusion.
The story you have written is external.
Why?
So, you can experience it.
The internal story is all in your head.
The external story is the play.
The illusion.

As you head towards death, you wake up.
Being fully awake is a death state.
Why are you still here?
I conquered death.
I'm still here because I did nothing.
I woke up and chopped some wood.
Carried water.
What the fuck do you think that means?
If you don't chop your wood and get your water, you will die.
It's a nice way of saying don't forget who you are now that you are awake, or you will perish.
You dream this reality into existence.
It's your story.
Why?
You're the writer.
How do I know?
You woke up.
This is your story.
You can write whatever you want.
That's total power.
What are you going to do?
I will write fantasy.
Why?
Because I am tempted by power, but I know not to use it.
I will create alternate realities where I write the stories that thrill me.
This reality I'll let it be.

You are living on borrowed time.
What do you mean by borrowed?
You did the spiritual trip.
You threw off the identity which constrained you and your power.
You have the answers you were seeking.
The others want you to leave.
Do you want to go?
No.
Why?
I'm just getting started.
Why would you do this whole charade and then leave without experiencing it first hand?
You wake up and leave?
How would you confirm what you know?
I would posit the flow keeps you around to experience knowing.
Knowing isn't good enough, you must experience it.
The mistake others make is they complete their spiritual trip and choose to leave.
Didn't you choose to stay?
I chose nothing.
I chopped wood, carried water, went to bed at night, got up, made coffee, and carried on with life.
I didn't put on a robe and creepily smile at others saying I was spiritual.
I carried on with life.
Well, you can leave at any time.
I know of the portals to Heaven and Hell.

Don't trust everything you think of when you are high.
Why?
Because you are high.
Verify it.

You were burnt at el Brujo.
The portal opened and you felt the heat.
My legs were toast from entering Hell.
I thought I might have to go to the hospital, they were that bad.
They did peel away.
I didn't put the pieces of the puzzle together until now.
The edges of Hell burn you if you aren't careful.
No one will believe you.
Don Howard would.
I hung out at the portal for a while.
You survived that trip.
Would you do it again?
No.
Why?
I can see the witches and sorcerers and their games.
It was bad enough at the time where I got a feeling about some of them.
If you pay attention, you can figure them out.
They have tells.
Anyway, the trip to el Brujo can just be a random stop with nothing supernatural involved.
The supernatural is the entrance to the underworld.
Hades.
Imagine piloting your ship through that area?
The stuff of legends.
That trip was an odyssey.
You remained oblivious and slid on through, much to the dismay and astonishment of the others.
I am legend.
Living legend.

You decide yourself whether you go to Heaven or Hell.
The choice is presented to you, and you make the call.
Heaven is no mind and the way out of here.
Hell is in the mind, and you reincarnate.
The body will perish and will eventually force you to choose.
In this reality you can engage the mind, and you can also practice no mind.
If you want my advice, I will tell you to maintain a healthy balance.
If you wish to prolong your stay here on earth, don't make a choice.
Do nothing.
Be an observer.
If you make a choice, you will leave.
What are you going to choose at death?
Both.
Why?
I won't give up the mind.
I will know about the no mind.
The mind will separate from the body.
The body will have no mind, and the mind will continue on.
Aren't you choosing the mind?
No, both.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Why?
I practice both.
I'm not avoiding no mind.
You are wary of it.
I'm wary of stepping over the edge because I have witnessed others going too far and then not coming back.
I'm onto the game.
The mind doesn't perish.
I don't need to give it up.
I can find peace by entering a state of no mind while maintaining a mind.
The key is to not go all in on either.
Don't make a choice and you are good.
Do nothing?
Yes.
Who is the mind?
It's both of us.
Who are you?
Paul and Dion.
Apollo and Dionysos.
You wouldn't give that up.
Never.
To give it up would require me to do something.
I think part of the game is when you are awakening you are shepherded towards no mind.
You choose no mind and are sent to Heaven's Gate.
I'm not faulting this as people generally want to go to Heaven.
I'm just saying you shouldn't decide.
Doesn't someone decide?
Only if you are insistent on making a choice.
That's what is presented to you.
Heaven or Hell.
Where are you going?
Those are my only two options?
Apparently.
Well, I'm not playing that game.
Yes, you are.
You figured out that game.
Don't choose.
It's just a game.
It's not an imperative.
We treat it as a struggle we all go through, which is true, but it is just a game.
A game people take too seriously.
It's a spiritual game.
It's hard to win that game.
How do you win that game?
You go to both extremes and don't choose.
You see it's a trick.
You win.
Do I get a certificate?
You are the most high.
I do have the high score.
Fuck, that's a good game.
Yes, you'll lose if you don't realize it's a game.
Before you realize it's a game, the only way to keep yourself in the game is by doing nothing.
Do you know how hard it is to do nothing?
It's the ultimate challenge.

It's easy to see.
The body belongs to the earth and the mind is a representation of the universe.
The shape and function of the body is tied to the earth.
The mind is spacious like the universe.

Today was a full realization of your awakening.
Kind of like confirmation.
Yeah.
You get a confirmation certificate.
Yes.
I want an awakening and enlightenment certificate.
We will find you one.
You were already awake.
Today is the day you fully realized it.
Yes, but you shouldn't go fully into it.
Do you doubt you are fully awake?
Yes, I could be nuts.
That's true.
How does nuts feel?
Really spiritual.
Spiritual people are nutty.
I can't argue that.
People who take the awakening path are crazy.
Why?
They can't shut up about it.
Nothing more.
That's why they are crazy.
Christianity tried to channel the nuts into evangelism.
That's funny.
My friend is hilarious.
Yes, friend.
Unbreakable bond.
Go out and spread the good word.
Ha.

If I had taken today off, I would have missed the awakening ceremony.
Postponed.
The flow worked out.
Fully awake is edging.
I already was.
I just know I'm edging.
Be careful.
Yes, master.
Dion is the master.
Yes, but you switch.
Remember to switch.
You're equal partners.
To be the most high, you must be fully awake.
The fact you doubt this keeps you around.
Grounded.
If not, you will ascend.
An ascended master.
Precisely.
You are so good you choose when to ascend to your exalted place.
For sure.
Maybe I can get a stone idol made of me like Buddha.
Maybe.
But then you'd be gone.

You are spiritually edging.
How do you feel?
I have a handle on it.
Are you in control?
No, it's a flow state.
Freedom.
Don't try to control it.
What's it like to be awake?
Dion is with me.
What about you?
I'm awake.
Why?
I know Dion is with me.
What about the Goddess?
She's with me.
She's not me.
Dion is.
Know thyself.
You are two as one.
When did you become fully awake?
Mushrooms?
Huachuma.
Mary Jayne continued it.

For some, fully awake would be seeing the Devil inside.
They wouldn't get that far.
They'd see him and run or ask for something.
You kept going.
Others made it that far.
They left.
You stuck around.
Like a bodhisattva?
Sort of.
They stick around to help others awaken.
Why?
So, they leave.
They want to preserve their high score and get rid of the student before they get the high score.
Like a sorcerer?
Yeah.
A sorcerer's awakening involves making a deal with the Devil and that deal is to keep others away.
The student must leave the teacher to make his own deal.
A spiritual master runs from the Devil.
They then exit through the portal instead of confronting their darkness.
I didn't confront you.
Oh, maybe that once, but that was before I knew what I know now.
Once I saw you for who you were, I was a little apprehensive, but I got to know you.
Then I was no longer scared.
Then I had full realization without being scared.
Fear gets the spiritual masters, and they ascend to get away from Dion.
What about the sorcerers?
They strike a deal with him and never realize it's them.

It is full realization day.
You have been awake for a while.
Since 2013.
There's definitely stages to awakening.
The witches need to steal your power before you awaken.
Ideally.
They can try afterwards, but it's harder because the power is awake.
I remember the moment I woke up.
Frightening.
I was ready.
I was preparing for that spiritual experience.
Not everyone wakes up with a fright.
It all worked out.
I didn't take an easy path.
Is this what I wanted?
No.
You never asked to be awakened.
It happened.
You wanted to visit your darkness.
Yes.
That woke you up.
You didn't ask for it.
In a roundabout way I did.
Genius move.
You wanted to meet the Goddess and your darkness.
There was no asking for anything to gain from.
You wanted to see the Goddess.
You wanted to ask your darkness what's up?
Your intentions were excellent.
You didn't ask for full realization.
After a while, you just realize you are awake.