lust for life

My family I was born into was not my choice.

I appeared, though with what I know, it was my choice.

That was Eros making that choice.

Do you think Eros then becomes Dion?

As this incredible mystery reveals itself, I'd speculate the answer is yes.

The impetus for the attraction between two people who are destined to mate is Eros.

That I am aware of.

You have never thought about where does Eros go?

Well, he or she is the baby.

Yes.

The baby is Eros plus one.

You mean the new record of Eros.

Yes.

The life force that comes forth from the master record.

You're getting warm.

The master record is Eros.

Yes, so apply this to your ancient Egyptian knowledge.

Eros is what they considered the soul called the Ba, and the coming forth of a new life form from the Ba is the Ka.

There are an infinite number of Kas from the one Ba.

Are there unique Bas?

That's where lineages are from.

Everything would be traced to a master Ba, however I think where it gets mixed is the combination of the Ba with the feminine principle of the reverse of the Ba which is the Ab.

The Ab is the heart, and the Goddess supplies those.

So, you are saying the Ba is masculine and the Ab is feminine.

That's what I'm telling you.

That would mean my idea of Eros as Cupid is masculine desire.

That's how it would look.

Feminine desire is love.

Yeah, but what kind of love?

Erotic desire.

Is that romantic love?

No, it's wanting.

So, lust then?

Yes.

Is lust, love?

Yes.

Then it's the highest form of love because lust creates life.

I'm not going to argue this point with you.

Okay, but lust is destructive.

No doubt, but it also is the creative force in the universe.

It's balance, which falls in line with your teachings.

Eros is rose.

Yeah.

That's why rose gold always appears in your life.

You can see it now.

Given a simple idea, I can create quite the story from it.

Yeah, where were we?

We were trying to get to the origin of Dion.

You mean who is he?

Yes.

He's Eros, all grown up.

Fuck, you're right.

Eros becomes a writer.

You can now see the connection in regard to lineage.

For a man, his sons have the same Eros to Dion within in combination with a unique heart supplied by the Goddess.

Okay, how about a woman?

The lineage is the heart.

Who is that?

Call her Mary.

There's something about Mary, right?

There sure is.

Dion is dormant within a female and Mary is dormant within a male.

Each carries them with them.

The dormant Mary within a man would awaken the sleeping Mary within their mate.

The power is undeniable when you meet your soulmate.

You are going to meet them, the pull is too strong.

Dion will always recognize the Goddess.

Okay, so this helps explain the ancient Egyptian concept of cyclical kingship called Kamutef where the pharaoh incarnated within his son at death.

Yes, because it's him.

It's Dion.

They just needed to remember that the divine mind within them is in their heir and at death they would enter into the new king.

Doesn't that sound like wishful thinking and hocus pocus?

It sure does.

What do you know about the Egyptians?

They were very skilled in magic.

What do you know about humans?

They are practical.

Do you think people were superstitious and this is all nonsense?

Some of it is.

People can be irrational as well.

I also know there are reasons for rituals which involve more than just pretending the magic spell is going to work.

Don't you think a priest would tell the pharaoh this story in order to keep his standing?

He tells him that when he dies, he will incarnate in his son.

The priest is then exalted in the court because he has that knowledge.

It's possible.

Wouldn't the new king recognize the magic power of the priest?

Yes.

If he was a charlatan, he'd be executed.

Instead, he was given more power.

So, you can see both sides of this knowledge that we have received from the ancient Egyptians.

Our rational and rigorous scientific minds will see deceit in the priest who tells this fantastical tale to the pharaoh.

The human mind who has been exposed to magic in this world will be intrigued by what they discover in the past.

Which side is correct?

You can take the side of the rational and say it's not believable, or you can believe it.

You're old and you have been to a lot of places.

You have travelled around the world and been to ancient ruins, places of power as told by historians and wisdom carriers, and you have sat with witch doctors and drank their potions in the dark night of the Amazon jungle.

What says you?

It's magic.

Can you quantify it?

No.

Then what's your rationale behind saying magic exists?

I've seen it.

I've lived it.

I can tell stories about it, but I can't explain it.

It's best to leave it at that.

If you're interested, I can give you some names and places to help you on your journey.

So, Eros and Dion are really the same.

Yes.

Just like Mary and the Goddess.

If you think of Eros as dual sexed, as in Eros and Mary, it will maintain your idea of 3.

Within Eros is the Goddess and Dion.

You can call them by different names if you wish.

What is important to see is Eros is the one, the androgyne who contains within the potential for all.

This is taught by the ancient Egyptians, if you have the capacity to understand it.

I can point you towards some blog posts I wrote which will try to explain this to you but be aware you need a background in Egyptian thought to try and understand it.

Yes, thanks, I wrote it for you.

Yeah, you did, though I don't think you quite understood at the time what you were writing.

I didn't because I hadn't lived it.

I do now.

I was aware that within Eros are the 3 and they are the monad you look for when you try and figure out the origin of creation.

Lust for life.

There are always reminders about the miracle of life and how to cherish it.

What is it?

The mind in a body.

Energy coalesces into form.

Plato's world of forms?

Plato was talking about another reality where forms are eternal.

Well, that's the mind.

There are no forms.

Plato posited that we are the shadows of perfect form.

He claimed there are perfect models of what we experience such as beauty, justice, and goodness.

It seems like he was on drugs and deluded.

Yes, of course.

He clung to a notion of a reality where everything was perfect and good.

He was describing the Goddess' utopia.

Exactly.

It's Heaven.

To maintain a perfect world of forms would require rules for everything.

There is no freedom in a perfect world.

What if that's what you want?

Then someone needs to explain to you that you will have no freedom in the perfect world you envision and are striving to get to.

In the perfect world that is envisioned, there would be no death.

Hades would be permanently banished.

This sounds like New Jerusalem in the Book of Revelation.

Well, that's the Goddess and her utopia.

Imagine a world without death?

Life would be created because it's good and then in utopia there is no death.

Soon you would be crowded out and the bugs would get so bad you couldn't stand it.

It's perfect though.

Utopia is Hell.

Clearly.

What's Hell?

Hell.

Thanks.

Why is Hell, Hell?

It's imperfect, there is ugliness and injustice.

Everybody's free to do what they want.

This sounds like Earth.

No, on Earth we have rules.

We surveil everyone, we tag all humans, give them all an identity, and require a passport to travel.

Earth is full of rules.

Without these rules, Earth would become the wild west which devolves quickly into Hell because everyone does what they want and if you give humans that ability, it does not end well.

A rules based order is describing Heaven.

Isn't that a form of totalitarianism like Communism?

Yes, you could describe Heaven as Communist.

Why are Bible believing Americans so against Jesus' socialist paradise?

Mind control.

They have the freedom to believe what they want through the ideals America was founded upon, however these ideals are at odds with what they believe.

I see that.

So, you'd compare Hell to unfettered Capitalism.

There are many parallels.

Regulation interferes with the freedom to exploit others and make large sums of money.

On Earth we try to maintain a balance between letting companies prosper and applying the brakes to their rapacious behaviour.

Drug companies will make you chronically ill if that means they can hook you on a cure for your condition.

They will suck out as much money from your animated corpse until you are no longer useful to them.

You'd think at least they could pay for your funeral, but they leave that to your estate.

You have a dim view of humanity.

I'm a realist.

I call it as I see it.

Do you think you can find good in the world?

Yes, there is lots of it.

Those in power are psychopaths.

There's a psychopath within all of us.

How is psychopathology activated?

When they start to acquire power, they become psychotic.

It's easy to see.

Is there a solution or hope?

Checks and balances.

Rules, laws, and deterrents.

What about rules for thee, but not for me?

That's how a psychopath operates.

The examples in the world are plentiful, I feel no need to point them out.

the ending

They say the remedy will destroy your mind.

I think they are correct.

They allow you to break free of the shackles of culture and become untethered by the weight of the world.

The result is being dropped into unfamiliar territory.

The default concern due to the break with manufactured reality is you naturally think you are crazy.

Those you surround yourself with will reinforce the belief you are nuts.

How do you mentally feel?

I've never been more at peace with myself, with who I am, and what I have discovered.

I'm excited for what is to come.

I've accepted my nature.

Do you think you are crazy?

It's in my nature.

It's not necessarily crazy.

I will say that what I classify as abnormal is the result of removing the shackles of behaviour enforced by culture.

I always had these tendencies, and I would repress them.

Now, I let them flow.

I'm still careful and maintain discipline.

Are you concerned?

I can see into the subconscious motivations of others.

People have hidden thoughts and desires.

The outer shell is a facade which acts as a layer of protection concealing what they really want.

I see what they want.

Does that bother you?

If I took it seriously it would.

If I play the game, it becomes a blast.

The reason it becomes fun is that the others can't reveal their intentions.

If they do, they will be ashamed and ostracized for their greed and avarice.

They must save face.

This gets back to the ability to tell stories.

You take what you know and spin it into a tale of intrigue.

You follow along and see the synchronicities and coincidences start to add up which makes your story plausible.

It's a fun game.

This is why you would descend into madness.

You would start creating your reality and then manifest that reality.

No one can handle that result.

This is how you become crazy.

Shouldn't you be crazy then because this is what you do.

I've crossed that bridge, and I know how to do this.

Why are you not completely mad?

I let it flow.

I don't try to control it.

I see the story and I let it be.

If I tried to direct the story, then I'd go mad.

It is about power.

You get control over the flow, and you are tempted to use it.

The great teaching of Tao gives you the answer.

It is hidden overtly within the ideas of Tao.

You are constantly reminded of the secret.

The secret is to do nothing.

Once you do something, the problems will become insurmountable, and you will lose.

You see the story and you let it be.

You go with the flow.

The story is crazy, and you have a laugh and marvel at your genius of how you create and weave these stories together.

Aren't you doing something by creating these stories?

Yes.

The flow is your subconscious.

The flow will do all the work.

You do nothing.

Watch the movie and resist the temptation to change the story no matter how desperate or enticing it may be to take up your power to change the world.

I see what the flow is doing.

I have a front row seat.

So, I'm not crazy?

Nah, you good.

How crazy is this:
When I pass away, this whole construct goes away.
The world ends.
That's definitely narcissistic.
It's my story, so it must end.
Is that why you are going to blow it up?
The threat of nuclear annihilation is the discontinuance of your story.
That's why you're here at this time in history.
It is a puzzle which has as its ending you solve the riddle and have a lack of enjoyment over figuring it out.
What do you mean?
If the story ends you must end at the same time, so you cannot verify that the story has ended.
It's a good trick of the mind.
Awareness will inform you that the dream has ended, and you woke up.
You will give your head a shake and say wow.
Imagine coming up with all this and having it be a product of your mind?
It's pretty incredible and even more so knowing that within this reality there are infinite realities.
They all will come crashing down when I expire.
Will they?
Is it all dependent on your body?
No.
Wouldn't the outcome be this reality ends because you lose your connection to it, but the other realities will continue?
The body is the key to this reality.
You can't return to this reality without a body.
Is that why the ancient Egyptians mummified people?
Do you have a better answer?
I figured it was because the spirit or ghost needed a body to inhabit or else they became a nuisance.
That is true.
They hang around this reality but they can't get back in without a key.
When I die you are saying I will still see what is going on in this reality?
It's possible.
However, because you are a narcissist and think the world revolves around you, when you die this reality is going away.
It will come to a sudden stop.
That would seem to suggest you will die in a nuclear explosion or some kind of cosmic catastrophe.
Nice.
It will end all life and this reality will be an empty story.
Where will I be?
You have your eye on the 7th world which is a world crafted for dogs.
What about the story of the witches and sorcerers?
That storyline is running parallel to this one.
You can witness it playing out in conjunction with your own life.
I think I understand.
So, a witch will lead me to the Devil's orgy where they will prepare to sacrifice me at the same time the world will meet its fate.
Everything will end at the same time.
Yes, they will castrate you and the world blows up.
Right.
I'm picturing an orgasmic ending to this farce.
You got it.
As the writer, you know you are going to twist the ending.
The sacrifice will twist into you becoming the saviour of the world.
All will worship you and your penis.
I would keep that to yourself as it's hard to explain without coming across as nuts.
I see that.

All babes are the manifestation of Cupid.

Culture teaches us to bury this lust.

We bury a lot of desires.

So, if we are looking for Eros within, we look to the shadow?

It's a good start.

Is my shadow closer to my essence?

It seems that way because it is clear of cultural influences.

Indeed, he is free of culture thus why he told you to kill yourself in order to live.

To accept who you are you must become free.

Is the part of me who came forth a fraud?

No, just some of it.

If you can extract yourself from culture, you get closer to who you are.

The opposite is true where you have mixed in parts of your circumstance you don't like with your shadow.

I imagine you are looking for balance.

We all start off as pure Eros?

Yeah, he or she is the story, so of course.

Within Eros is the Goddess and the writer.

As the writer, you can see Eros and the Goddess.

That is what I have discovered.

The Goddess sees Eros and the writer.

Eros will see mom and dad.

I understand all this.

What I'm thinking about is that I start the human journey as Eros.

Yes.

Then I as a man will look for God.

That's the warrior path.

It will eventually kill you and I don't mean old age.

I have this lived experience now.

I see beyond God, and it is the writer.

Okay, so I know I'm Eros and the writer.

That's what the Goddess sees.

You buried the writer with Eros.

Okay, so who am I?

A puppet.

Do you see why you must kill yourself in order to live?

Clearly.

Paul is a coping method.

What about the goodness in me?

A lot of it is a fool.

That's true but not all of it.

Who came forth reflects your buried desires mixed with the expectations of culture.

Don't throw away the baby with the bath.

Eliminate who you are told you are and embrace who you are.

It's the path forward.

You were hypnotized.

You didn't see the Goddess with Eros.

I only saw one.

I didn't know he was there.

He was waiting for you to separate him from the Goddess.

They waited for you.

Finally, you showed up.

I don't think anyone knew what was going on.

The story was a mystery.

You can see it now.

You see a lot of things.

Some are weird.

Some stretch the truth.

There are unbelievable stories.

Those are extreme.

The stories that contain the most believability are the stories that fit into your belief system.

The far out stories belong to a different reality which contains a different set of beliefs.

They would seem more normal in those worlds.

I think you are telling me every story has merit.

Yes, you generate the story, and your mind plays with it.

It's just a story.

Sometimes, you find a way to play out the story.

That's when you incarnate into a vessel?

Exactly.

The more stories you generate, the more alive you are.

You perform on many levels which are realities.

The secret to being alive is to generate stories.

If you get stuck in this reality you think you will perish when all the stories play out in this realm.

Eventually they will.

The body gives out.

If you can switch between stories, it's all good.

You jump ship when this body starts to give out.

Is that what some people try to do?

Yes, they want to get into another head in order to continue their story.

They are stuck in this reality.

They continue on here.

Can't you do more than one?

You mean stay in this reality through jumping bodies or being remembered and then perform in another level?

I don't see why not?

The different reality would become your new reality.

You hypnotize yourself into the new reality and keep going that way.

Alternatively, you can step out of the hypnotism and shuffle through all the different realities.

Then you don't have to feed off others.

You are self-reliant.

You can already see the other stories.

You know how to switch between them.

It's because you woke up.

You do it; you just don't fully realize it yet.

It's because you are taking it slow.

You know how to peer into the different stories, and you are aware you can get lost in a different story.

I'm disciplined.

I know when it gets too much, I might lose my way out of the mind.

There's a minotaur waiting for me.

What does he do?

He devours humans.

Right.

Well, that should be enough of a caution.

There's lots of bones of stranded travelers in the labyrinth.

A warning that you get when you realize it's too late.

The minotaur has a connection to Dionysos.

Of course, the divine writer contains the stories.

When you peer into them, which is stepping too far into the labyrinth, the man bull is waiting for you.

You can run from him or be a hero like Theseus.

Didn't Theseus run off with Ariadne?

Yeah, because he bludgeoned Dionysos the man bull to death.

Then he dumped Ariadne on an island, Dionysos returned as he is the eternal return, and reunited with Ariadne.

Good story.

Who are you?

Well, I'm not going to kill the bull god.

He is me.

We will be friends.

Like Happily-Ever-After friends?

No, there will be more adventures.

You have it all figured out, don't you?

What do you think?

Yes.

Once trapped, people will do anything to free themselves.

That's why they perform stupid sacrifices.

I see that.

It's a good signpost on the road ahead.

Your trips have been enough.

You know that.

You have Mary Jayne and a nice container.

Keep it that way and you are good to go.

Thanks for the advice.

As long as the universe continues you will become matter again.

The universe is one big cycle.

The universe is the one story and then there's all the cycles within that cycle so the one would become the two which would become the four which I want to say eight, but I think it's sixteen. 

Lots of really good knowledge today because lust isn't bugging you.

You're not wrong.

I want to create a reason why I should have lust around.

I think you already know.

The knowledge will get too much, it will bother you, and you'll want to stop.

Lust is around to provide the resistance needed.

They are both teachers.

I know what you're going to say.

You're going to say lust is the greatest teacher.

I think he's probably tied in with knowledge and wisdom, but let's go with that for now.

So, tell me, why is lust a teacher?

He reminds you to play.

Remember he did that in Ecuador?

If you go all in on knowledge, you'll destroy yourself.

If you go all in on lust, the same.

Lust is telling you to stop being so fucking serious.

That's how you live a balanced life.

A perfectly balanced life would go on forever.

That's Tao.

Tao teaches eternal life.

Yes, in duality.

Of course, because if you're going to live forever, you must know that you're going to live forever.

If you didn't know you were living, who would care about living forever?

In non-duality no one would ever worry about living forever.

No one would worry about nothing.

There's nothing in non-duality.

Things are strictly a product of duality.

When you reduce the dualistic to one, the non-dualists take it a step further and say it's not one.

It just is.

It's no one.

You could represent non-duality as minus one.

What happens if you minus one?

You get less.

You might get nothing.

Yes, so when you're told to do nothing, you see non-duality is representing nothing.

So, within duality, the best thing to do is to do nothing, which is non-duality.

You practice nothing within something.

That ensures balance.

If the opposite happened and you are in non-duality, you wouldn't know you're in non-duality.

Tao would lead you back towards duality.

You would cycle back and forth.

You go from nothing to something.

It's the writer who twists the flow.

That is the flow.

It's twisted.

It's the story.

Non-duality is no thing and duality is some thing.

Isn't language great?

You wouldn't want to get stuck on either duality or non-duality.

If you got stuck on non-duality, you'd be an atheist, and there'd be nothing.

If you got stuck on duality, the stories would continue forever.

You would think there's an exit ramp for both of them.

There is.

Your physical body returns to nothing, and your mind continues to separate the one into two and you continue on.

How clever is that?

So, anyone who's died still exists?

Yeah.

You know what, they existed before their body.

That's pretty freaky, right?

We think the body is what makes the story start and come into existence, but the story already existed.

Some of the picky people would have picked their parents.

Others would have been happy to get here in a body.

I think you're telling me that the rich kids are picky.

Yeah, they made sure they got the best parents.

The weird thing is rich parents are probably the worst parents.

That's why all the rich kids end up getting into drugs and bad stuff.

You know you're not wrong, however what's your excuse?

Rich parents offload the raising of the child to somebody else, and then it doesn't work out well.

Just like child actors who are being taken advantage of because the parents aren't raising them anymore.

There are tons of vampires in the world, so the best bet to raise a child is the parents.

You'll find successful adoptions and people who mean well.

I'm talking odds here.

You shouldn't let the school system raise your kid.

No, that turns into a disaster.

Good talk.

a perfect three

Lust.
Eros.
The Roman Cupid.
The ancient Egyptians called him Ihy. The perfumed essence who drips off the Great Goddess Hathor. He is her child. The jackal of light, born in the east, who comes forth as a turbulent bull. The son of the gold.

The secret is Tao.
Tell me about it.
There's really nothing I can say.
Either you know or you don't.
If you don't know Tao, you're onto something.
Nobody knows Tao.
Tao is nothing.
Can you worship nothing?
That would be prudent.
However, that's going too far.

Mary births Jesus as the light.
Eros is the child of God and Goddess.
He's the word of God.
As the light, he is Apollo.
He has a bit of Dionysos and Apollo in him.
He seems to be God in the flesh.
He comes from the Goddess.
He's got a little bit of her in him as well.
Are you still trying to figure this out?
The moon, sun, and the egg.
Easter.

If you called Tao vibration and said that vibration is Eros, you also know that Eros is just one of three.
There's two other principles that this universe is founded on.
Love, lust, and vibration?
Light, dark, and everything in between.
Everything in between is the result of Tao.
How about male, female, and baby?
If man and woman do nothing there is no baby.
If there is no baby, Tao is not active.
The baby is lust and resides in the future.
Tao goes from being in the future to the present.
We call it the birthing process.
If Tao is not active, everything is balanced.
Man and woman coming together is doing something and it creates an imbalance.
Is the imbalance a perfect three?
The imbalance is the activation of Tao in the present.
All of creation must work to get back to balance.
That's clever.

Tao is a perfect duality.
Tao encompasses the two extremes and puts them in the middle.
If the two extremes are man and woman then the baby Eros is in the middle.
So, you're saying Tao is Eros?
He's a manifestation of Tao.
Eros would be a way to see how balanced they are.
The middle way.
Always.
How do you get to the middle?
By juggling the two.
It opens in the middle.
The two extremes make a middle.
Without the extremes, there's no middle.
The middle was always implied.
The two extremes needed to come together.
They make a middle.
The implication is that the middle is the future.
The separation of the two is the past.
Together, they are the present.
See how it works?

all the world's a stage

My default conception of time is that it moves forward. I live my life by constantly reaching into the future. It is logical and I'm steered to do that by my senses. My main senses create logic and reason. My less developed senses such as intuition and déjà vu point towards other modalities of perceiving time. What if time could also move backwards? What if it does? What if there is a constant flow of time going forwards and backwards which creates what we call now?

The impetus for this thinking is my belief that God is a writer. He writes creation into existence in a book. The screenplay of the book is then acted out. Thinking about this, it would be understood the book has already been written or at least the development of the story takes place before the actors' act. So, the distant and unknowable God exists in the future with his screenplay, and he sends his Word to us. It's ingenious and funny.

I like to think about Cupid, Eros, and lust. These are all names I give to desire, and this helps me to illustrate my point. The child of a union is this desire which compels a couple to come together and create life. Eros exists in the future. Think about desire in your life: It is something you want. You don't have it yet, but you make a pact with the future. The future is then made manifest, and this is desire coming into being.

The future flows into the past and the past flows into the future. The revelation of the future can rewrite the past while the past flowing into the future unveils the story. Creation is the domain of the Goddess and is where the past and the future are reconciled. Life comes into being in the now, which is the stage of life.

It's simple. God writes the story, Goddess creates the stage and life, and the actors are the music of creation, performing the dance of life.