a real illusion

When you drop the body, you awaken instantly.

Yes.

You see through the illusion.

In the resulting confusion, you are given a path to follow.

You choose a path.

Obviously decline it, now that you know.

So, at death, you'd see what I'm seeing now.

Yes, but instantly.

You don't see it all at once.

They will take it seriously, you treat it as a game.

Why is that?

Time.

It's not serious.

What isn't?

Time.

Why?

It's a mind trick.

Anything in time is an illusion.

A story.

Isn't it real?

Yes.

You said it is an illusion.

A real illusion.

Isn't that an oxymoron?

Who says?

I don't know, the language police?

So, they say two things can't be true at once?

I guess so.

You believe an illusion can't be true?

That's what I'm taught.

An illusion is false, so it can't be true.

Well, then it doesn't exist.

Why?

It's not true.

For something to exist, it can't be false.

Why not?

It's not true.

That's what you said.

An illusion doesn't exist because it's false.

Yes, I think that's correct.

But we are living in reality, which is an illusion.

It's true.

Well, it's true false.

Okay, what's the opposite of an illusion?

Reality.

So, reality can't be an illusion.

Why not?

It's the opposite.

Can't it be both?

I don't think so.

What is reality?

It's a story the Writer has crafted.

So, it's an illusion.

I guess so.

What about when you get lost in the story?

You swear it's real.

What happens when you dream?

You swear it's real.

But a dream is an illusion.

Yes, it's an illusion you swear is real.

So, back to the original point, which was a real illusion.

It exists.

We call it a dream.

I'll call it a story.

Yeah, I don't think I can argue this point anymore.

Why not?

Because there are real illusions.

What were we saying about time?

To sum up, I was saying a story needs time.

Storytelling builds, climaxes, and then you have the aftermath.

Sounds like sex.

It's very similar.

So, you need time to have sex?

Yes, you need vibration or nothing happens.

She will tell you to get the fuck off of her if you are just going to lie on top of her.

That's true.

So, I think what this crude wordplay is getting at is time is a function of duality.

In duality are created illusions.

I think stories work better as a word to not confuse the mind.

Why?

We are hung up on an illusion being not real.

A story we want to believe even if it isn't real.

Why?

They can be very entertaining.

So, duality is for entertaining?

Correct.

Why?

Something to do.

Non-duality is boring.

Nothing happens.

chaos

Ram Dass is a treasure.

I'm grateful for his presence on my path.

Be Here Now was such great advice.

I will take any subject and bend and twist it.

Now is chaos.

You can't understand the now without the past and the future.

The past paints a picture and the future shows you possibilities.

Now is energy without definition.

Chaos.

Maybe the now is the illusion?

All that exists is the past and the future which converge to make up this fleeting moment called now.

You can never put your finger on the now, instead it remains undefined.

You could say it is always now and the past and the future are memories and projections.

Time and distance create the past and future.

By the time I feel gas in my stomach that sensation is in the past.

What is that?

I live in the past.

The now is the past.

All experience is the past.

Distance gives us perspective on our past.

You're saying there is no now.

It's undefinable.

How do you explain this?

Read a book.

You have either read the words or the chapter is to come.

You're not stuck on a word.

It's known or unknown. 

There's no now only known and unknown.

As you know, there's the writer of this drama and he's from the future.

The story is what's real.

Well, it's an illusion.

A real illusion.

Now is where we are in the story.

The story is always moving.

If the story ends there's no more known and unknown. 

There's nothing.

Void.

So, what's now?

I don't know.

I think it might be something.

It's the opposite of nothing.

So, if you're in the now you're in something?

Probably.

To not be in the now is to be in nothing.

Non-duality.

No story.

If you want to find unity, then don't be in the now.

Now is separation.

Now is the story.

Now is duality.

I think I understand. 

The Goddess comes up with the ideas.

That's the known part.

The unknown is how the writer will write the story.

The story is the child.

The now is unknowable because I must transform the energy of now into something decipherable I can understand.

That process relegates my understanding of now to the past.

There is now but it's unknowable.

You can't understand it.

It's chaos.

You give it meaning and create the past.

It's best to not know.

all the world's a stage

My default conception of time is that it moves forward. I live my life by constantly reaching into the future. It is logical and I'm steered to do that by my senses. My main senses create logic and reason. My less developed senses such as intuition and déjà vu point towards other modalities of perceiving time. What if time could also move backwards? What if it does? What if there is a constant flow of time going forwards and backwards which creates what we call now?

The impetus for this thinking is my belief that God is a writer. He writes creation into existence in a book. The screenplay of the book is then acted out. Thinking about this, it would be understood the book has already been written or at least the development of the story takes place before the actors' act. So, the distant and unknowable God exists in the future with his screenplay, and he sends his Word to us. It's ingenious and funny.

I like to think about Cupid, Eros, and lust. These are all names I give to desire, and this helps me to illustrate my point. The child of a union is this desire which compels a couple to come together and create life. Eros exists in the future. Think about desire in your life: It is something you want. You don't have it yet, but you make a pact with the future. The future is then made manifest, and this is desire coming into being.

The future flows into the past and the past flows into the future. The revelation of the future can rewrite the past while the past flowing into the future unveils the story. Creation is the domain of the Goddess and is where the past and the future are reconciled. Life comes into being in the now, which is the stage of life.

It's simple. God writes the story, Goddess creates the stage and life, and the actors are the music of creation, performing the dance of life.

questioning spirituality

Our brains are linear. They have been conditioned in this regard. It's how we think and make sense of our world. If you discover a method which allows release from this modality, then different avenues of cognition open to you. I have been looking for a way to explain being able to see into the future. It's been a few years since I realized time is a dubious human discovery. Because we have senses and delineate, this allows us the power of observation. We are objectification machines, and we use it well. We track and mark the movement of objects and thus create a system of time. Our system of time is based on the sun. Days and the year are the cycle of the sun. The seven-day week and the months owe their genesis to the moon. Our conditioning forces us into patterns of thought which cannot break free of an orderly and linear design of the universe which marches through time.

Without the ability to objectify, time would not exist. This plane of consciousness we inhabit with our senses is a world of duality and thus time governs us. Time is a lazy jailer as it doesn't have to do anything to keep us imprisoned. We create the jail cell ourselves and lock ourselves in. If we stray from the prison yard, the inmates rat on us. They first use the tactic of shame and make us question ourselves. You're crazy! They poke around and find out what is the cause of you straying from orthodoxy. Don't think for yourself. Leave complex matters for experts. Drugs are bad. Stay away from them as it is a blot on your good character. If you get past the gates of society then will come you've changed accusations and drugs are making you crazy. As society progressed and we became intellectually enlightened, we took it upon our collective self to criminalize agents of consciousness. If you wanted to escape the mental prison, you risked being locked up in a physical prison. The game is designed so you will not escape. For most they won't even try to run. They will just accept it. The runner must be resolute in their decision and willing to leave it behind.

This trip since middle age has been utterly fascinating. I never dreamed I would get to these points of awareness. I had no idea of what awaited discovery. I had to unlock modes of cognition to proceed.

Earth is a school for awareness. Your energetic signature unlocks awareness through incarnation. You add this skill to your sum. How about that answer to the meaning of life? We come here to make sense through our senses. Time creates order out of chaos. We crave this order in our masculine world. Order comes from chaos, light from darkness. A unique perspective reveals a whole new way of perception. In this world there is time, and eternity reveals itself from moment to moment. In the world of chaos, everything just is, it has already happened and to reveal it just needs a structure. We create a timeline which allows us to make sense of it all. The clever seeker in a world of form will realize this and then be able to poke holes in the fabric of being.

The modality to do this must be discovered and then comes the need to stop listening to others' interpretations and advice. At first, culture set up religious institutions to keep people away and it worked for a long time. As a species we were obedient and bequeathed our inquisitive nature to an intermediary. We allowed those who wanted to keep us imprisoned to be responsible for our freedom. Thus, we remained locked up. When you break past these barriers it isn't over. There is always a spiritual element to the game and an appeal to some concept of a higher self. When you are onto the game, the cultural shepherds are still waiting for you. The final boss awaits. You've seen past the veil so now what? Attached to discovery is altruism. For some strange reason if you approach the big secret, then the ego requires you to cultivate a selfless concern for the well-being of others. You become of service and therefore the game can continue for others as you are neutered.

What a crock! I know so many people who are doing just this. The spiritual trip is so fun and allows you to abrogate the responsibilities of incarnation. They all knew this earth game we are playing is toxic and looked for a way out. They peeked behind the curtain and faced the dissolution of preconceived thought patterns. Then we all face the big question: What do I do with this knowledge? The default is you become spiritual! I feel like intellectually raging at this golden chain. I remember Ram Dass giving a lecture about the idea of the golden chain of righteousness. Spirituality leads to this golden chain where you must put on airs and graces and avoid scandal. Why is there this connection to unlocking universal secrets and being good?

One answer that jumps out at me is love. I've come across it a lot in my journey and in terms of resonance I understand love is what we seek. A taste of love is bliss. So, the question becomes what is the best method towards getting people to that place of love? The path I chose will allow you to touch that love to which I refer. That's when the next wave of trouble begins and we become spiritual. However, look around you. We live in a place of ungodly suffering. You can't escape it. If love is the ultimate answer, then why does this hellhole called earth exist? The universe can be cruel. To live one must cause suffering. In turn we suffer. Suffering is the path towards finding the love you seek. When all else fails, a good dollop of suffering will snap you out of whatever ails you and direct you towards love.

Plant medicines showed me a world of spirituality and I got a great understanding of it. I'm not sure they made me spiritual. They showed me where I wasn't spiritual for sure and I followed a path which revealed I was no Jesus in a white robe. I saw Goddess and God. I saw who I am. I don't feel a need to become holy because of it. I am at the point now in my "spiritual" journey where I laugh at people who become spiritual because of psychedelics and plant medicines. I laugh because of experience. These substances reveal who you are, and for most of us it's hard to accept the truth. Deflecting your degeneracy through embracing spirituality is a smart play. You can postpone the realization for a bit.

For me, the realization has come. The Great Goddess laid it on thick. Here's what you do and the results of your actions. You're special. You got quite the game going on to get you the thrills you need to control your vibration. You know how to smooth it out and go searching for the hit every now and then. Apollo is brilliant and figured it all out!

I've got redeeming qualities. I like helping people. I like doing things for people. I like seeing people happy. I like making animals happy.

I know what she is going to teach me next. Purity and vibration. She is going to show me how pure true love is. If you want to stay high and never come down, love is the pure substance you are looking for. Without it you are forever trapped in the cyclic vibration of high and low. So, if you want off the wheel, you gotta come to love. Simple!

I'm not interested in utopia. We do-gooders try to usher in an altruistic paradise in hell. I don't want to create a world of love. It's all perfect. I want there to be suffering on this earth. My selfishness that keeps me going to know all leaves a trail of indifference, destruction, and suffering. If I were a great and loving being, I would have been stopped dead in my tracks. The dragon in me propels me along a path of discovery which is what I've desired all along.

I don't want to be spiritual. I don't want to think I must be of service or have integrity. Reciprocity should just flow and not be a conscious duty. Those qualities I will demonstrate by my actions and let the chips fall where they may. They are a byproduct of my life. The other may judge how successful or what a failure I am regarding these principles. I don't want a white robe or an acknowledgement of transcending the morass of humanity. My animating path is a quest to discover it all. It's a never-ending ride on the cosmic wave of being.

big picture thoughts

Plato declared: "Time is the moving image of eternity." I heard this a while ago and sort of understood. I thought it meant that eternity marches on endlessly and the waypoints are marked by time as it unfolds.

My recent trip to Peru involved seeing into the future. I peered into events that were going to take place in my life and six months later I can report that these events happened. The divinatory experience didn't give me a play by play of what was to take place, but I got the outline. It calls into question free will as I could have altered the future I witnessed. This gives the illusion of free will. I mean if the future is a known quantity, then everything is just to unfold, and you swim along in the current. How do I reconcile this? It seems quite easy. The unfolding of eternity would eventually reveal to me I could see into the future and alter it. My decisions are known and will play out so I do retain free will because I don't know what I'm going to do. The universe knows.

Because of what has happened, I got a complete understanding of what Plato revealed. I have been taught repeatedly that all that exists is the "Now" and any conceptions of past and future are peculiar human inventions based on an ability to remember what you have been witness to and subsequently being able to project into the future with reasonable confidence. Also, being able to objectify our surroundings allows us to sense the passage of time, especially when we connect it to motion. The rising and setting of the sun and its return to various waypoints over the course of 365 days gives us valuable markers which we in turn use to mark passages of what we call time. Where Plato comes in is because everything exists all now and is revealed to our senses in an orderly fashion.

The way I explained it to myself is that eternity is one big painting. For some reason we are all drawn to look at the same spot on the painting. Originally, we just saw the base layers of the composition before we started noticing more subtle details. As we move along more is revealed of this giant work of art. We start to see more of the picture, and it all starts to come into focus. As a species, we lock to the same vibration which prevents us from seeing the big picture or being able to go deeper into the shadows and contours of the art. If we can discover a way to escape from the frequency that imprisons us, then we are free to explore the off-limit portions of the painting and see the big picture.

That is what the magical plant medicine cactus Huachuma did for me. The heavy use of it every other day over a two-week span changed my vibration. I uncoupled from consensus reality and went off into some uncharted territory. I was witnessing my psyche split out into others where I could see parts of myself in them. Different hierarchies of being were revealed to me. There were planes of consciousness which mirrored each other but were telling a different story. I was King at one level and my actions were interpreted in novel ways at other levels. I was God and I was waking up. At this level it manifested as the destruction of our world. And I saw into the future. I saw myself as God finding my Goddess. King with Queen. Bull with Heifer and at this level I found who I had been searching for. As I cycled through different frequencies a new story would emerge. I was shown what was going to happen and at another level I warned myself to change course and leave it be. I made my choice which coincided with what I was shown.

It's all now and we are all one, cut from the same cloth. At the top level are the all; a step down and we become Goddess and God. As we cycle down into different frequencies of being, we become the many. At our core, we are fantastic storytellers and eternity is our greatest play yet.

jewels of relativity

So, you want to live forever as who you are? The inner knowing that you are something tangible has you wondering if that essence sticks around post-expiration of the body. If you take the eastern path, you lose the attachment to self. You are to return to the all, God, the void, nothingness or whatever you wish to call it. You are everything and so playing a minute character in a vast sea isn't what's in store for you. You return to the all and are everything. But what if I want to retain the outcome of this project?

I'll take Einstein's path of relativity and Ram Dass' Be Here Now. Einstein teaches perspective and that it all depends on the situation when describing if something is true. In that sense I can envision we are the one and the many. We are God having an adventure among many avatars of the oneself. We are also that solitary avatar, playing the game without a clue of who we really are. I think that the unveiling of who I am, and this great game of self-discovery is reserved for the future when I drop the biological body. Ram Dass teaches it's all here and now. I don't have to wait.

Everything just is. Time is a function of our senses and because we can detect motion, we keep track of cycles which we call time. We convince ourselves that a reward or punishment awaits us in the future. Your reward or punishment is happening Now. Fancy that, I can go to heaven or hell in this lifetime.

The polished jewel in the universe, Indra's net, reflects the brilliance of all the infinite jewels. That jewel is you. Your container of feminine love infinitely reflects the light of the masculine. You are the One and hold within you all. Every jewel I examine is God and cannot be separate from all other jewels. Without you, the universe doesn't exist. Through this biological life you are self-reflecting. You are examining your own reflective qualities. You can polish your diamond and shine even more, or you can muddy it up to a faint glow. It's all part of the menagerie of existence and the participation in the creation of the universe. The individual jewel is relatively you, not separated, because what makes you you are the others. The same can be said about every jewel.

We take incarnation into a demanding situation such as the earth to increase our brilliance. Earth is the metaphorical cleansing of the waters of incarnation. The ancients would create stories of brilliant stars and constellations descending into our material world to be cleansed, and then reappear seventy days later to be reborn. We chase desires and learn to love in the most difficult of situations. We are given the chance to polish our gemstone. The shine is here and now.

So, back to the question. Is your essence tangible? Yes! At this very moment you are the central jewel of creation. You are a jewel which reflects all. You are the light of the universe. Without you, there is nothing. You hold within your shine, all. You are touched by all and you touch all. You will live forever as your jewel. From the perspective of being able to see differences, you see a jewel that is part of the many. From a different position of relativity, you are everything.

in passing

I was taking some time to think about time. What I was thinking about is that time is a measurement of motion and distance caused by motion. This line of thinking leads me towards throwing away notions of the past and future and understanding it is always now. To reconcile this conundrum in my brain I think of existence as an unfolding of a process. The process is not pre-ordained but like a plant that flowers, ultimately it is going to flower unless an event terminates its growth. Without getting bogged down in the vagaries of the philosophy of time, I transitioned into a related topic. The topic is the intrinsic knowledge that everything is the flow of the same source, which is my way of describing non-duality. We are the ones who create separation through our sense perceptions. Much like time, it is distance that creates duality in that objects that are far apart in time give the illusion they are separate. Conceptually, I understand all this.

The fact remains though that we do have specific sense perceptions that evolved in order to give us a sense of separation. So, was this by accident or is it the natural order? In other words, is the progression of energy that cycles between non-duality and duality; to wit darkness and light, all part of the process? Is the pull of adventure and gamesmanship the juice that manifests the universe and creates a giant playground to make all our dreams come true?

You see, I became skeptical of non-duality being the only true state of energy and that duality was an illusion because of the fingerprint and how no two human fingerprints seem to be alike. What is the purpose of that biological curiosity? I deduced it is because of the divine feminine’s power of being able to take energy and create form in conjunction with the divine masculine’s ability to separate form. The mother gives birth to the form and the father cuts the umbilical cord thus bringing the game to life. The mother tags all her children as unique snowflakes and the father wills his offspring onwards to create a life worthy of a god. Non-dualism and dualism go together, no matter how hard you linguistically try to keep non-duality away from the intellectual morass. I'll concede non-duality is one up on dualism and that the darkness is the base from which light comes forth. Duality saves face by knowing non-duality is unrecognizable without duality.

So, does this mean our expressions of intelligence and behaviour reflect the characteristics of the source? We are but projections of the psyche of our eternal parents. As children of the eternal twinned power of feminine and masculine, we are given the gift to live out the adventure of life in a playground created by the mother and given the enlivening power by the spirit of the father. 

Time separates us from our ancestors and future prodigy. Our birth allows us to interact in a physical form with beings who have come forth in our lifetime. We are shielded from the past and we will become a memory for the future. While in a body, distance can also play the role of time. We are separated from others by large distances which is resolved by investing some time into the problem. Time allows us to close the distance on objects that are far away from us.

Birth into a body and the death of the body are events intrinsically tied to time. Instead of distance being the cause of separation, the lack of a physical body causes separation with those who are beyond time. Conversely, having a body separates me from those who don't have a body. I remain in a harmonic field with people, animals, and plants and do not resonate with the "dead."

So, to recap, separation is caused by chronological time, distance, and energetic form. Objective distance can keep us separated and is bridged through the primitive investment of travel. I am shielded from interaction with other physical beings who have come and gone before me because they appeared in this plane at a different time than me. The different states of our energetic forms prevent us from now meeting. My energetic signature is vibrating at a different frequency than one who doesn't have a shell of a body. My frequency instructs my energetic pulse to create a shell, which is my body. Death releases me from my shell, my oscillation increases, and I enter a different energetic plane. Another phrase for energetic plane would be plane of consciousness.

When a great shaman I knew was in failing health he would tell us students, "Where do you think I'm going, brother." He knew he was going to depart to the other side of the curtain. He gave us the tools to access the other side and the expectation is we will use them. A dear friend of mine and fellow student recently just passed, and this catapulted me into further completing my studies about vibration.

At death where does one go? We change frequency and become part of an occult world which is shielded from the living. I've known for over nine years that changing your vibration allows you to bridge the gap between these consciousness planes. The sum of the universe is all here and now. Now is the state of the universe. Time gives the illusion of separation; however, we are never apart. We just think we are because of the rate of our energetic vibration. If I want to interact with the "dead," I need to change my frequency to match their rate and enter a harmonic resonance with them.

If you strike a tuning fork with a hammer, the adjacent tuning forks which are in tune will start to vibrate. Think about that for a moment. If physical beings are tuned, then we can interact with each other. Language is a tuning fork. Love is a tuning fork. Hate is a tuning fork. If you have a disturbance in your frequency, i.e., schizophrenia, then the ability to harmonize with others is impaired. Along the same line of reasoning, if I can discover the secret to harmonizing with the dead, you know the ones without a body, then I can interact with them as well.

I know how to change my frequency and have had further instruction about the process. If you sit in an Ayahuasca ceremony with a good shaman, they will sing a song, called an icaro, which creates a shared frequency for the circle of drinkers. The visionary activity will have the potential to be shared. The Ayahuasquero can in turn send out a song of healing to the group. Furthermore, your frequency is being altered which allows you to enter previously obfuscated realms of consciousness. The change is gradual enough that an attentive student can witness the acceleration or deceleration of their vibrational signature and in turn describe the experience as a trip. The movement through different frequencies gives the experience a sense of adventure, while being able to maintain a frequency for a period of time allows for interaction with various gods, goddesses, demons, ancestors, and the like.

Ayahuasca is a Quechua word, and the meaning is something like "Vine of the Dead." Sounds spooky! Being an attentive student allows you to understand that the language used describes that through Ayahuasca you can interact with your dead ancestors. In other words, the potion will lift the veil by allowing you to change your frequency. Ayahuasca isn't the only substance which can do this. I've experienced the phenomenon as well with Huachuma, Peyote, Magic Mushrooms, and this little-known snuff called Vilca. Vilca gets you there in an awful hurry. In addition, dreams can catapult you into other worlds and so plants like tobacco and mugwort can fall into the vibration altering category as well as these are dream plants.

Energy is just what is and the nature of energy is manifest in all systems and objects within our dualistic universe. Sound is the best path towards understanding the vibrational nature of the universe with music holding the key to understanding. An octave describes eight steps to get from one note to its next appearance at a higher vibrational rate. The frequency is doubled each octave. The relationship of the frequencies of the notes stays true as the octave gets higher and higher. You can combine these notes and they will sound pleasing. The Hindus have a chakra system, which is similar to the musical scale, that has seven nodes located within the physical body. The eighth chakra would be the next repetition of the energetic scale, similar to the musical scale. Applying this knowledge to my understanding of traversing planes of consciousness reveals though I am limited by the frequencies I can access while in my body, I know that if I discover the note/frequency of where I want to visit, I can go there by being in "tune" with the mathematical relationship between all the notes.

My energy can exist on many planes at once. The body caps our ability to traverse these planes but through resonance we can still travel. Our echo is felt through the realms we inhabit without a body. In our world we call this phenomenon a ghost. The energy that remains here on Earth after our bodies perish is the posthumous ghost.

Ever since experiencing an awakening of consciousness that allowed me to go beyond this plane of consciousness into other frequencies, populated by gods, goddesses, demons, dragons, jaguars, serpents, gold castles and so on I’ve noticed that back in the "real world” if I get real quiet I can access altered forms of consciousness. Deep meditation is an example of being able to get still and just let it flow. On occasion I can enter visionary activity that rivals an Ayahuasca vision though I can’t do this on command, and it is rarer I can get this far into it. Something I’ve noticed since I first drank Ayahuasca is with focus and tunnel vision I can see energy. I see little strands darting into and out of existence. This I can do on command. I took it up a notch on the weekend as I sat in the woods as the sun set. The sun’s rays glistened upon these silk threads in a glorious display of beauty and awe. I figured these strands were spider’s webs catching rays with their movement making the light dance lightly upon them. Some of them were just hanging in the air without attachment. One of these fine pieces of the threads of consciousness appeared right in front of me and danced a familiar dance to a light ball of energy I once witnessed about four years ago. It was awesome to glimpse the energy which makes up this mental construct that pulses between this world and wherever it comes from.

My first time drinking Ayahuasca involved the Great Goddess telling me all is vibration. I had a cursory idea of its role, but I didn't understand. Drinking Huachuma in the Andes mountains involved the grandfather spirit of the cactus giving me a course in frequency and challenged me with homework to figure it out. It's been a slow journey to understanding. My friend's death has once again sparked the flame within as he always has. I know I can get answers if I put the question out to the ether and I don't abuse the privilege. After he passed, I asked for understanding of death, where do we go, and how do I contact the dead if it is possible. I have the answers and now I just have to run the experiment.

perils of psychoactive drugs

I was going into the idea of truth once again and how we can make anything truth by just hypnotizing yourself with belief. It is kind of frustrating that we can’t just have absolute truths we can hang our hat on however I realized that’s what makes the game fun. We live in a universe that is a myriad of patterns of energy we objectify through our senses. We desired these senses so we could use our consciousness to perceive exactly what it is we exist within and subsequently self-reflect. Within our limited senses, we then discover and shape the findings into what we want to manifest. We seem to be capable of transforming energy into whatever we collectively put our minds' towards. I usually think of a washing machine at this point. I mean what drudgery it must have been in the old days to truck heaps of clothes on down to the river in the cold weather to wash your soiled wares.

Can you ever find objective truth? Only in something static like death, or a memory, can you ever find truth. This is because everything, which is energy, is on the move and forever changing. The memory that has stopped transforming has no more tentacles which may alter its remembrance unless we convince ourselves otherwise. How do you define truth on a rollercoaster? That is the beauty of this whole setup we call existence. To reference truth is to take a snapshot in time and assign truth to a memory. Objectification is clinging and desperation to hold on to what we have instead of embracing what may come. We objectify because we are desperate to find lasting meaning to this dream. Our physics is a grasping at trying to find the object at the centre of the universe which makes this all work. We measure and reduce; our measurements being accepted as objective though at their base they are objective by consensus. We bring about order and structure through measurement; though the units of measure are arbitrary and ultimately derived from chaos. Ultimately, to objectify is to lead one towards death. By creating a noun out of an eternal process of change is to turn it to stone. The genius of the eternal is to be in constant motion and transformation. The enemy called death is forever thwarted. Nouns makes us fear death. Ah grasshopper, you are an ever-transforming process moving on from one adventure to the next. Cultural indoctrination points us towards fearing death through identification with the body. Attachment, in this case, causing suffering. Let it go.

Belief is given credence through the power of intention. Desire creates the universe, creates the change, creates the suffering, and creates the destruction. Desire enables the cycle. This world is the result of desire and wanting this experience. Duality is experienced through desire. Eros travels upon the waves of eternity, sailing into and beyond the ports of life and death, light and dark, pleasure and pain. Energy is the transformational magic we seek and we can make it do anything we wish through belief and intention. Our world is a testament to the assertion. Eventually, instead of desiring and searching out knowledge, you become knowledge. Accessing the frequency of knowledge merges into becoming knowledge when you change your vibration.

To know you exist, you need an echo. A system of feedback. So, the clever invention of time which acts as a resonator. Time echoes so that you know you exist; thus, I am. We invent time and subsequently worry it is running out on us. The illusion is time. Time is a confidence game. You need motion to define time. Time is a plotted graph point on an undulating pattern of energy which is complete and timeless. Vibration is all there is. Everything has already happened; we are just defining moments through our peculiar ability to be able to perceive change. We are champions of objectification and therefore can live in duality which gives rise to the discernment of a passage of time. You might say then that we don’t have free will or basic freedom if everything has already happened. Paradoxically we do, though granted it is an illusion and one we can’t escape from. Try it out. Touch your nose at your own accord. Your actions might be baked into the singularity but you are shielded from it. The watercourse flows on. You can try to swim against the current but regardless it carries you along.

i am god

The permission to think non-linearly and break free of the hold sequential time has on my thinking allows for a major leap in the thought process where whole avenues of discovery suddenly appear at your doorstep. Because of time, we build sequences and hierarchies. What comes first is thus imbued with power, a sense of ownership, and a claim on truth all because it came first. Releasing yourself from the hold of time, allows you to view events as processes that are unfolding. The flower eventually comes forth when the seed sprouts, the plant grows, and then comes the fruit. Is the flower some innocent child of the plant or is the flower the initial energetic desire that created the seed that allowed its splendour to come forth? The seed did indeed come from the flowering fruit and for the astute student they can understand nature reveals the creator hides within their creation.

Along the road of the unfolding grandeur of the spiritual journey, eventually the path leads you to the point where you know you need to live in truth, tell the truth, and most importantly recognize the truth about yourself. Until you drop the narrative perpetuated by culture and ego, you will remain forever ignorant to who you are. It will never happen for you if the truth of self is denied. To continue along the artery of knowledge means giving up the stories told about yourself. This also means the behaviours you deny and hide and what lights you up. There is so much to acknowledge in order to live in truth. Nobody wants to do this and face the inner critic as well as the enforcers of behaviour in culture. It’s better to acquiesce to the demands of others and never step into the power that awaits you and as the hero fulfill your destiny.

But what if you do? What if after years of denial and frustration you finally accept who you are and drop the stories? What if you do walk in truth? Internally, I started to do just this. I’m not ready to go all in but I have accepted what is painfully obvious to myself. Because of where I am on the spiritual path, immediately the flower started to blossom and I started to see it. I had to deny it at first because it was too much.

I am the flower. I am the pinnacle of an evolutionary process that allowed me to come forth as the crowning achievement of creation. I am the pulse of spellbound energetic desire that put this whole process in motion and eventually I made my appearance in a world of my own making. Goddess and God are me - my feminine and masculine energetic halves who come together and create the one who is the god and that child is me. Hey! I just realized I’m God! You are too, but since you don’t believe it and think I’m nuts, I get to bask in my temporary omnipotence until you wake up and see it.

This is the apex of the spiritual journey that can only be accessed by going within and listening to your inner guides. As a teacher, I can only point the way. In fact, that is the role of any external instructor worth her or his salt on this path. They show you the way but it is you and you only that has to take the step through the door. It is the essence of shamanism where the role of the shaman is to be the doorman. Any teacher who tells you different is trying to collect you as a follower of their bullshit. Nobody can do this for you; I can try to explain the outline of the journey and let you in on some knowledge however you have to experience and understand it yourself or my mouth noises are just hollow words and for you a belief in someone else’s beliefs. I’ll point the way, tell you to go within, and help you get there. The master teachers will be found there. Don’t be scared. It’s all waiting, just for you.

An enlightened teacher intuitively knows they are God but they don’t give the show away. How could you? Making the claim you are God, inherently the only god, is the height of lunacy however true it may be. The maestro knows we are all God and endeavours to point you towards the path that will reveal this secret to you.

the more things stay the same

The only constant is change. Plato said time is the moving image of eternity. Pretty heady stuff and one of those sayings that is both so profound and kind of puzzling. Eternity is eternal. It’s kind of strange that has to be pointed out and that by corollary to this, time is a byproduct of change as in motion. Because we perceive things on the move and in constant flux we can then pin different events down onto a timeline and then insist on the unassailability of said timeline. The problem is you can’t stop time or back it up. Our trajectory is always forward. Heck we don’t even live in the present. Once you realize you are in the present it is already the past. It’s pretty absurd right? What have you learned about things that are absurd and seem to contradict their own validity? Well I know I’ve learned that it in all likelihood means the concept is false. Time is helpful for sure but at its root it doesn’t really exist. What exists is eternity. Time is a construct within no time that is measured by motion. It’s the old story about the cat on the other side of the fence and we can only see the head so that’s all that exists right? Then the cat slinks out from behind the fence revealing the body and then the tail. It always existed as the complete cat but we didn’t see it until it was revealed to us through perception thus helping us realize the idea that our senses are helping to fool us, give us a sense of time, and keep this game afoot. In other words everything exists in the here and now and as the energy crests and wanes it reveals what is. And what is? The totality of all and you are in it.

Picture omnipotence where you could see and perceive it all. 360 degree vision and some kind of Dolby sound that captures completely what is going on. Nothing would be able to trick your senses or perception and therefore they'd be no measurement of time. Instead everything would be happening now and unfolding as an event.

in bloom

So I have written about my philosophy which I will call the flower philosophy. The flower is the coming forth of the seed and has every right to claim primacy as much as the seed does. This thinking all stems from the belief that originally if I found the fount of everything then I will have found my true self, god, and so on. Then I changed up my thinking because I was delineating and breaking up into separate processes happenings that are succinctly complete, we just don’t see it due to perspective. The perspective at work is our positioning and therefore distance away from seeing everything in its entirety. We have called this phenomenon time and we use time as another way to describe perspective. We are occluded from having a wide angle view of this concept we have called time. I get the feeling it is all in the now, the past and future just phantoms, but we lack a sense to see it all or we have a filter on our consciousness that does not allow for a broad witnessing of time but instead separates it out which in turn creates events and enables the great game. Quite the sentence; you'll have to probably read it a few times to figure out what I just wrote. I know I did! My other half comes up with these ideas and I am just the scribe. So I can’t see the flower but it is the result of everything that is coming forth. It is farther down the energy wave. I had figured my ego and superego were psychic disturbances that were the result of awareness fuelled by desire instead of realizing that this is all one process blooming in our field of energy called a human and one process that we discern leading into another can lay no claim to being ultimate truth based on an order of operations.

Okay good enough I hope. You can go back and read a few of my most recent posts where I go on about this if you wish. I have just tried to summarize it because I actually want to go into some other discovery I had this morning. When your base desires get the best of you or some other human need, problem, or family situation causes upset well when this happens now I try to remind my base id to be kind to tomorrow’s human that has to function and try to let this go. So this is problem number one. Sometimes these things are trivial or don't make sense so there is an inclination to just run away from your problems. It’s never ending. There's the responsible and serious part of me and then the part that just wants enjoy life and live in the moment. Then I realized I do need a part of myself that just doesn’t care about consequences; it just wants to have fun. Give me a thrill! I can understand that! Then there’s the opposite part of me, the superego, that judges behaviour and is like you are so stupid man. I need that part of me too so that there is a foil to the mischievous one. Then there is the poor ego stuck in the middle trying to mediate between these two extremes that make up what I call self. The two extremes are Dionysos and Apollo. I kind of gave Apollo the cold shoulder a few months ago when I discovered Dionysos is the fount and the eternal return of the energy. The indestructible life. It’s this carefree desire beholden part of me that is constantly wiping out his game. I need Apollo because though reason sits on the back of the unreasonable it also tempers the chaos and nonsense. If we then rely on Apollo too much there is no fun and no play. All business. Just the facts. Dionysos is god but Apollo is god as well. There is no one god. We humans get to be in a special place in that we have both of these gods within us and to be successful we have to mediate and balance the two. It is through having an ego that we can do this. Take a look at the animal kingdom. It runs mainly on needs and fulfillment; there is not much reasoning going on with them. Our place is so unique in that we can develop the ability to reason and from this temper the unreasonable. The extreme of either position creates disharmony. A life of pure hedonism leads to your own destruction however fleetingly the sweet pleasure of it just may be and a life of rigour and preciseness with no time for play leads to a pretty dull, unfulfilling, and sterile life as well.

So as a human I am gifted a pretty special opportunity to create the god of all gods. By taking the masculine attributes of Apollo and Dionysos I just described and balancing them and then the feminine by cultivating the attributes of love and caring versus hysteria and balancing them I prepare for union. Then there is bringing all together in the middle at the heart. I have mentioned before in previous blog posts about an Andean concept called tinkuy and that’s what some specialists were doing in pre-Columbian shamanism. These beliefs were trampled on and forgotten by the encroaches of Western man and his thinking he knows better. The people of the Americas were figuring this shit out millenniums ago. We probably need to bring this back to stave off the coming destruction.

You can only hope to accomplish this centring through ego and a healthy one at that. The two powers on the extreme end of self are ridiculously strong. Imagine being in the middle of a fight between the Hulk and Superman. That’s your ego. It’s trying to keep things in balance and running along, maybe letting each side out daily for a little exercise. Be kind to your ego; it’s the only thing that’s going to get you through this hot mess. 

motion and thought

Been thinking more about time. Ultimately, it is motion. Time is the vibration of the eternal song, the Great Goddess, which creates the perception of a past as we hear the echoes of her song trailing into the distance. From this perception, we can then project and create a future. It's a peculiar human trait. The future is hardly a sure thing but just something humans can curiously construct and try to predict from available data. Why is the concept of time slippery and why will the eternal song forever remain a mystery? It is because humans objectify all and in truth the mystery is not solid; it is change, and therefore the antithesis to objectification. Just when we think we can grasp time, it slips away, just like the serpent. This process illuminates the Hindu concept of maya as illusion, in that all objects are illusions and by that it is meant they are transitory. Nothing lasts. The only constant is a lack of permanence. We recognize this, call this time, and see a world in constant flux. It is a dose of acceptance of change that we need. Embrace the music she creates and the now moment in which the song of creation eternally comes forth.

In the world of objects we have created for ourselves, we need time. We cling to a belief in permanence; and in order to continue the charade, we need the conception of time. An object lives in a dimension that includes time. What happens if the idea of objects is smashed? Everything becomes a no thing; instead what we have are vibrations cresting and falling. When we think about the past we understand the movement of the wave creates events that can be construed as being part of a timeline. Two necessary ingredients for the conception of time are therefore movement and thought.

The ancient art of astrology is given new life, once you realize nothing lasts. The occult practice is revealed as a way the ancients, desperate for a way to capture the moment, devised a scheme where a snapshot of the universe could be recorded with the expectation that the wheel of fortune eventually would revisit this same setup. It was as good a concept they could come up with knowing that when the wheel returned the body will have aged, the river will have changed, and this truth was captured by the ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus who explained, "No man ever steps in the same river twice." However, there was the expectation that the universe, when arranged in a specific pattern, would repeat the actions and events that previously transpired under such a set-up, Heraclitus be damned.

The lessons of cyclical time inspired by horoscopy add insight to the quest for understanding the eternal song. The tune goes on forever but if you listen closely you can detect the familiar rhythms, pulses, riffs, and the backbeat that give us a feeling of familiarity with the rhythmic cycles of creation's daughter.

the end of time

Our concept of time comes from the cycles of the sun and moon. Our modern concept of time is linear in scope. However, the sun and moon are distinctly cyclical in action. So, there're really two concepts of time which the ancient Egyptians articulated as neheh and djet. 

neheh and djet time symbolized at Denderah

To the natural philosopher, time is inherently cyclical in its natural state. To the modern mind that is a conundrum as we are conditioned to believe everything has a beginning as well as perhaps an end.