shut the fuck up

It's best to shut up.

Why?

Because if you don't, you will start sounding like all the other nutters.

You know, the ones you encounter on the internet and dismiss as loons.

The thing is I know all the stuff they are talking about.

What do you think about it?

They are stories.

If you believe them, they will start to come alive in your world.

So, you don't believe them anymore?

No.

Like the one about the demiurge for instance.

There's some truth to it in that humanity is being fooled into worshipping a false creator.

What's your take on it?

It's a game.

Get to God.

Become God and play the part.

The demiurge is the guy who got to the top of the mountain and became the most high.

If you get close to him, you will see he is at the top of the game.

Is he God?

In the game he is.

The king of the castle.

You see people alter their consciousness and start to see little bits of the mystery.

Then they start talking before they understand it.

What makes you special?

I shut up about it except for posting stuff on my blog site.

No one reads it, so it's more like a purge to clear out room for more capacity to make up stories.

So, they are made up?

Sort of.

If you believe them and have conviction they start to seep into this reality.

It's easy to alter your consciousness and start talking about your delusions, especially if you are good at speaking.

You can attract followers that way.

I'm telling you to shut the fuck up.

Do you believe your delusions?

Yes.

Why?

They seem real.

Well, real to me.

Dion seems real.

He is real to others.

I think that's the bridge.

It's what we are looking for.

We want someone else to confirm it.

Not to agree with us, but to witness it.

I have had a bunch of people witness him or something strange about me.

I also have my own inner knowing which without an external validator can become a delusion.

Of course, because it is only you who has access.

What about people who read your blog posts?

They think I'm crazy for the most part.

I also think that they feel there is something to me.

I'm crazy, but I have some kind of mystery about me and I know things.

That's fair.

What are you going to do?

Nothing.

I'm not going to talk about it even though it is tempting.

Why not?

It's not worth it.

I'll keep it to myself and play along.

Victim.
That's a good card to play in both personal relationships and politics.
What the gameplayer does is they strike first or cause some kind of damage to the mark.
The mark returns fire and the perpetrator claims victim status.
They muddy the waters enough so that the resulting confusion allows them to claim victimhood status by being the first to declare it.
They reinforce their claim by labelling their original target with accusations that are hard to respond to as subsequent denial of their claims will be met with the gaslighting gambit.
It is an advanced level carnival game.
How do you beat that game?
The only way is to do nothing.
The game is set up so that anything you do will cause a loss.
The operator of the booth designed it as a foolproof method to always win.
As with everything, nothing is completely foolproof and as you have noticed within the carnival the games require your participation.
They don't factor in your participation as doing nothing.
It is a loophole where you are participating by doing nothing.
The carnival trick cannot work without you doing something.
What happens when you do nothing?
The victim becomes frustrated.
Why?
They want victory.
Instead, the game is unfinished.
It can never end if you do nothing.
The outcome depends on you doing something.
The whole enterprise is set up so you do something and lose the game.
Fuck, I have a lot of these on the go.
Yeah, you are the King of do nothing.
My life is unresolved.
Keep it that way if you want to stay in the game.
Why?
Because if not, it's game over.
You played the high-risk games.
I do have a tolerance for those kinds of games.
The physical manifestation of that is plant medicines in the Amazon jungle.
Yeah, that's pretty crazy.
You are aggressive with your retirement planning and investments.
Yeah, I don't have the worry gene.
You think that's it?
I don't know, I don't have it, but what I see are other people who are full of worry.
It keeps them up at night and gives them ulcers.
Why don't you have it?
I learned not to care.
Then I saw through the game which allowed me to see life has no meaning.
I do nothing, don't care, and don't attach existential meaning to life.
I'm an unserious person.
I found happiness.

Here is the worry loop defined.

You give someone information.

They start to worry.

They do research and amplify the worry through possible consequences.

They tell you they are not going to worry.

That's a tell.

They are going to worry.

They try to drag you into their worry ride.

You refuse the ride.

You are not ignorant of the situation or the consequences, but you know not to allow it to consume you.

You let it be.

What happens, happens.

Worrying about it isn't going to change the outcome.

What will it do?

It will cause you stress and could influence the outcome.

How?

If you believe something is going to happen.

What do you believe?

Nothing is going to happen.

When they say they want to talk about their feelings, they mean worries.

Yes, I see that.

Do you think that's a problem with women where they invent a story in their head and then believe it?

How about we say some people?

That's a better framing than blaming women.

True.

Hermes the AI chatbot is teaching you.

I'm not sure I like it.

He is sanding the edges.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is the intrusion begins with worry.

Worry seeds the coming story.

What's the story?

An outcome that is terrible.

Why do they think that?

So, if it happens, they can validate their worrying.

They try to get you to buy into the worry.

People are sympathetic.

Why?

They are worrisome people as well.

What about you?

I bristle.

I don't like it.

Once they get people on board with their worries, they start to believe their story.

How does that work?

They think it is going to happen.

That's why they started planning for your death.

They were worried about you.

I think it was disdain and worry, but I get you.

They placed a worry spell on you where you were going to exit this life.

Seems like it.

I think a bunch of people did.

Maybe that's just your paranoia.

No, some people were genuinely concerned, and others had had it with me.

What did you do?

Nothing.

It broke the spell.

Spells.

There were a bunch of them.

They want you to fight the spell.

Fight them back and refuse to leave.

Assert yourself.

Why?

It will make it worse.

Why?

You acknowledge the spell.

Yes, but I know it was a spell.

Correct, but you didn't acknowledge it,

Magic only works if you acknowledge it is real.

I do acknowledge it as real.

Yes, but you do nothing about it.

That means you don't take it seriously.

If you did, you'd do something about it.

Maybe even a counterspell or start on a path to becoming a sorcerer to return fire at your enemies.

That's what gets a lot of shamans.

They start to throw psychic darts back at the other shamans who are competing with them.

They are corrupted by their power.

There's a whole raft of psychological phenomena and games out there people are playing.

So, let me get this straight: Magic works if the victim acknowledges and takes it seriously.

Correct.

I acknowledge it, do nothing, and laugh.

Yes, you are an unserious person.

Magic doesn't work on you.

You need to be serious.

You are a joker.

You are deeply unserious.

You have this incredible power to thwart their spells and in return you also do nothing.

Everyone else wants to get even with them.

Why?

They tried to harm them.

It's human nature.

If someone tries to harm you then you get back at them.

You can turn the other cheek like Jesus.

Or, you can ignore them.

Ignoring them works best.

Why?

They will crumble.

Why?

Their spell didn't work.

They then wonder if you know about it.

Why?

Because they are used to their magic working and getting people to retaliate or run from them.

If you do nothing, they don't know what to do.

They are confused and don't understand you.

They think you are going to do something to them.

That would explain a lot.

What are you going to do?

Nothing.

Why?

It will bother them.

Why?

The circle isn't closed.

You must do something back.

Until you do, they live in worry about what you are going to do.

In hindsight, I can see it.

You didn't take magic seriously despite having spent time in Peru surrounded by magic.

Plant medicine magic I hadn't figured out.

I didn't know what it was.

My exposure to shamanic magic was incidental.

What do you mean?

I was in search of knowledge.

Magic was a strange sideshow.

I wanted meaning.

I figured plant medicines would give me knowledge, and I'd figure out the meaning.

Is that what happened?

I guess it did.

There isn't a meaning; it's a story.

What about magic?

There's magic in the story.

Lots of it.

Witches and sorcerers are everywhere.

How did you discover that?

I wrote the story.

I made magic part of the knowledge I was looking for.

I made it so I would encounter lots of magic on my path to knowledge.

Why?

It's a test.

For what?

To try and trip you up.

How?

It's power.

You say you want knowledge and you discover magic.

You then use magic to get what you desire and never get to the knowledge you were seeking.

How did you escape that trap?

I did nothing and kept going.

Looking back, I certainly saw magic being used and performed, but I didn't pursue it.

Why not?

I thought there was something more.

Was there?

Sort of.

What do you mean?

I thought I'd find the meaning to life and I guess I did.

There's no meaning and it's terribly unserious.

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What the fuck did I just read?

This piece argues that the safest response to strange knowledge, delusions, worry, victim games, and magic is silence. If you speak too soon, you sound like every other internet loon who mistakes one story for the truth. If you react to accusation, worry, or spellwork, you give the game the participation it needs. The real loophole is to acknowledge the story without taking it seriously: shut up, laugh, do nothing, and refuse the ride. Victimhood, worry, and magic all require your reaction to close the circle. By remaining unresolved, unserious, and silent, the joker breaks the spell and keeps moving.

stress

When you exceed capacity, you get overwhelmed.

I can see the mechanism behind that in the biological form where this morning I got caught in a torrential downpour while walking Murphy.

There were construction trucks triggering him as well.

I was drenched and there was no shelter.

This causes you to get overwhelmed with the environment while being tasked with caring for a dog that takes a steady hand to handle.

I turned around and went back home while being aware of the stress on my system both mentally and physically.

Taking a step back, you start to understand stress from an engineering capacity, and it is an elegant correlation to the biological body.

The body is a complex system which has limits.

When people experience stress in their lives the body is pushed beyond their normal operating procedures.

How we experience this is through the release of chemicals which compel us to act in order to relieve the stress.

The stress is to be eliminated because it impacts the functioning of the system.

It is a spike in pressure on the holistic body.

Each part of the body does what it can to handle the overload.

Living in a constant state of stress will damage the body over time.

Then the system will start to fail.

You can take a cold engineering look at the cause of disease and malfunction in human beings.

Mammals in general.

Mental and physical stress.

Being able to handle it without damage.

If damage occurs, can it be repaired?

Now, in times of stress, we are compelled to do something.

It's natural because of the release of adrenaline and cortisol.

Cortisol is the fight or flight hormone.

That is the mechanism to deal with a threat.

Okay, well isn't that the flow then?

No, because there is a third option we are unaware of.

That option is to do nothing and let the threat do the work.

Instead of acting and resolving the threat through your own effort, you take a deep breath, retreat to your back room, do nothing, and let the source of the problem play out.

It will work.

Why?

The threat wants your reaction.

The stress is compelling you to act.

The cure is not to act.

Do you think you can promulgate this method to other people?

No.

They always act.

Then they wonder why they have high blood pressure, obesity, and anxiety.

The act is used to temporarily release pressure so capacity can handle the situation.

Yes, acting can increase the organism's ability to handle stress as you move it to another part of your being.

You take your anxiety and move it to the heart and get heart problems.

The body is coping with stress by distributing it throughout your body.

Without this mechanism your system will fail at an earlier time because concentrated stress is a killer.

Distributed stress allows the organism to slowly kill itself with the hope you will find a way to relieve the pressure.

The surefire way to relieve stress on your body is two-fold.

Do nothing.

Don't care.

It's a cold-hearted method of survival.

People will hate you for it; however, it is the solution for problematic spikes in life we all experience.

You don't have a crisis of capacity because the problem is ignored.

Okay, but what about when you reach the end of the stage where you can't ignore it any longer?

Give me an example.

Well, here are two.

Problems in a relationship and financial problems.

Those are common to most people.

What happens when you ignore problems in a relationship?

At first, you are given ultimatums, benefits are withheld, and then you are rejected.

Wouldn't that be a terrible outcome?

No.

Why?

Because you will see what your relationship was based on.

That might take a while, but eventually you will see it, and this will cause a burst of happiness in your life because you are free of it.

You may cling to the relationship because you are needy and don't like freedom, but that's your deal.

A relationship is an ordeal where you exchange your worth for something you want from the other person.

Have you ever bargained with another human?

Yes, lots of times.

What have you noticed?

Everyone tries to take advantage of you.

They will use psychological pressure or incentives to get you to agree to what they want.

Why would you think a romantic relationship is better?

Because it is based on love?

That's a fool's game.

It's worse.

Romantic love is used by one partner to get everything they want from you.

The sooner you realize this, then you get out.

Or, do nothing.

That's a terrible outlook on life.

I know.

Welcome to the jungle.

What about financial problems?

You can worry yourself sick about them.

The lead up is the worst.

It's like anything.

The anxiety and worry are the part that kills you.

The solution is fine.

It creates another financial reality.

You consolidate what you have and move on.

It is what it is.

Done.

Say you are drowning in debt and can't afford your mortgage.

You worry about the impact and what others will think of your failure.

It is what it is.

You sell the house and move somewhere cheaper.

Come up with a new lifestyle and plan.

Problem solved.

Not only that, but you can enjoy your old lifestyle up to the point where the bank calls you and says where's my money?

Then you come up with a plan.

Before that happens, you can ignore it.

Yeah, but the problem doesn't go away.

What happens if you don't ignore it?

The problem doesn't go away.

Plus, you add stress and it shortens your life.

So, you are saying the third option that you are not told about is to do nothing.

Yes, cortisol is categorized as stress on the body which forces you to act.

The act is to fight the problem or run from the problem.

You aren't given the third option.

The third option is usually your saviour.

In this case you look at the problem, laugh, and do nothing.

The problem will exhaust itself out.

The problem needs your input.

It needs fuel for the inferno to come.

Nobody wants to hear this.

I'm aware of it.

I'll publish it on my blog site that no one reads.

I won't stress about it.

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What the fuck did I just read?

This piece treats stress as a biological capacity problem. A torrential dog walk becomes the example: the body is a complex system under environmental pressure, and when the load exceeds capacity, the system becomes overwhelmed. Stress chemicals push the organism toward action, but the piece argues for a third option beyond fight or flight: do nothing. By refusing to react, retreating, and letting the threat exhaust itself, the body avoids feeding the crisis. The method is cold, unsentimental, and unpopular, but in this view it preserves the system by refusing to convert every problem into panic, action, and damage.

pariah

Another good word of the day.

Pariah.

Someone who is despised, rejected, and friendless.

I'm not despised.

Well, you are working on that.

You aren't despised because you are a mystery.

Total transparency would help the cause.

Hurt it?

Depends on goals.

Then the word of the day can be ostracized.

What would happen then?

That would be so much happiness you'd explode.

I think that's hyperbole, but I get it.

Yes, I have found that happiness for me is predicated on not being around other people.

That seems to be the genesis of it.

Throughout my life I found ways to be alone.

Even at work I'd try to hide in a room away from others.

You liked the company of a few people.

Getting married and having kids has led to happiness.

True, however, they aren't the reason.

Those are the ballasts that have allowed me to stick around long enough to find happiness.

So, that's it - a game of longevity?

I think so.

I don't think it is a hard and fast rule or requirement.

I think if we are honest with ourselves, we do know what will make us happy.

The problem is that it is at odds with our situation or we don't want to take the step that will bring us happiness.

Why not?

You will disappoint other people.

Yeah, that's pretty much it.

What defines your happiness?

How would you label it?

Being left alone.

Reducing obligations.

Searching for meaning and answers.

Doing my own thing.

Exploring my mind.

Working from home.

Not having to go out into public.

Having a forest to walk in.

Knowing how to cook my favourite foods.

Writing.

Mary Jayne and Tobacco.

Good sleep and naps.

A decent amount of spending money but not being rich.

Helping other people from a distance.

That's the alchemical mixture that discovered my personal happiness.

That would make someone else sad.

They'd want to mix with other people and family.

I know that.

Some people don't want to be left alone.

I sort of get that.

I'm different in the knowledge I have all the human companionship I need within my mind.

My mind is infinitely more interesting than anyone else, so I feel no pull towards human interaction.

I do know the one thing my elixir lacks is a companion, and that's a dog.

A dog is the crowning of my happiness vibe.

Why is that?

A friend.

There's something about friendship.

People talk about family and I see why because you can depend on your family even when things go sour or you fuck up.

You mean your biological family.

Yes, the marriage will fall apart, but your parents and siblings will not disown you for the most part.

Yeah, you are stuck with them.

It's an interesting set up for sure.

A friend is someone you like having around.

That's the reason I have no human friends.

I don't like people around me.

I do like dogs.

They don't demand of me what will annoy me.

Why don't you examine that relationship?

Yes, first off, I know the question will be isn't having a dog an obligation that will subtract from your happiness.

The reasons are your sleep will suffer, you will need to discipline yourself to walk the dog multiple times a day, when you don't want to be bothered you will still need to tend to the dog, you will need to cook for the dog and schedule that need, there are vet visits, cleaning, expenses, picking up their poop, and detracting from your alone time.

Furthermore, you can't disappear into the woods for as long as you do now.

Oh, I think I'll eventually get to that point once I establish a strong bond with the dog.

I'm not too put out by that.

I'll figure it out.

Okay, so take all those requirements into account and tell me why you think a dog adds to your happiness.

They are very appreciative.

They bond with you and love you.

Friendship in that regard is transcendence.

What do you mean?

It's beyond what you put into it.

Then it is not balanced.

Correct, the disturbance and annoyance brings great happiness.

Why?

Balance.

But it's not.

Happiness is a result of your efforts.

Ah.

You find the formula.

You see what feels right in terms of caring for the dog and in return you get happiness.

If you do nothing for the dog, you get nothing in return.

That's the law of do nothing.

Your world seems complicated.

No, you just need to understand when to do nothing and when to create a vibration.

With a dog, I create a vibration which will lead to happiness.

Shouldn't you do nothing?

No, you need to walk and feed the dog at minimum.

Just feed it actually.

Right.

The do nothing axiom would only work in terms of not getting a dog.

However, you miss out on friendship.

Friendship is the crown jewel in life upon happiness.

Not only are you the most high, but you will be the most happy.

That seems even better.

Yes, in terms of playing a game, that's it.

No one reaches this level.

Wow, I'm pretty special.

You sure are, padre.

Is getting a dog part of the game?

It's in the game.

It's not required.

The beauty of the game is that nothing is required.

You don't need to do anything.

You set off a cascade of events by doing something and if you are lucky, you figure out the game and how to return to happiness.

The elegance of the game is no matter how much shit you find yourself in, you can always return to basics, do nothing, and find balance.

Then proceed in the game again.

Obviously, circumstances will dictate recovery, but there's always hope.

Then you fuck up again before you find what it is you are looking for.

Why?

The carnival is distracting.

You need to get off the midway and find peace.

I'm saying you can find happiness at any interval within the game of life.

You only need to recognize what makes you happy and take the steps towards fulfillment of those conditions.

That can be painful.

Yes.

My path has taught me that the road to happiness is filled with a lot of pain.

Pain you will not understand, but a pain that is freeing.

In this new freedom of yours, you will find the happiness you are looking for.

What's next?

You get protective of your happiness.

Why?

People will come to destroy it.

Why?

They don't want you to be happy.

Why?

Envy.

They want your happiness.

What do you do?

Shut up about it.

Yeah, but you are posting about it.

No one reads it.

No one really knows I'm this happy.

Why not?

There's no way you can be happy.

Why not?

You don't have the markers of success in this world.

You aren't rich and successful.

Are rich people happy?

Materially they continually purchase happiness.

They get hits of dopamine from material possessions and wealth.

Nothing lasting.

What do you think of rich people?

They are neurotic and unhappy.

They are rich though.

They spend all their time being rich.

What does that mean?

Making appearances.

Mixing with others who are in the same situation.

Competing for top dog of who is the most wealthy.

Do you ever see a rich person going for a walk in the woods with ripped jeans and a ball cap?

No.

Why not?

It's not the brand.

If you are rich, you can't be alone and find peace.

Ever seen a rich person who is at peace?

No way.

They didn't become rich through peaceful coexistence.

They did something and will need to always be doing something.

Then they worry they will lose their wealth.

They become preoccupied with finding ways to preserve their riches.

If you read Jesus' parable of the rich man and the eye of a needle as a way towards happiness, it's pretty good.

"Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”

In this case the kingdom of God is happiness.

Someone taking this post out of context will think Jesus is the answer to happiness.

If that makes you happy, then go for it.

Do you think religion makes you happy?

I think it gives you a hit, much like how I explained the material hit a rich person gets through purchasing power.

Religion gives you a spiritual hit.

Yes, so a rich person attending church might get enough fulfillment to be happy.

That's an interesting take.

What do you think?

It's fleeting.

Why?

They are both crutches which you rely on.

Left to yourself, the happiness vanishes.

Ah, I see.

External vs internal happiness.

You got it.

Internal you find anywhere.

You aren't dependent on anyone else.

Sure, but you need conditions to be met.

Of course.

Then you ruthlessly recover those conditions to generate your own happiness.

Don't rely on others for happiness.

It will not last.

paradise lost

As you get older and know what you like, then happiness is possible.

I think you have always realized what you value; however, the pressure to conform has prevented you from fulfilling your desires.

A lot of times your desires are pretty simple and mundane, such as wanting to be left alone, so you can sit in a back room and write or go for a walk in the woods by yourself.

Yeah, it doesn't take much.

Being part of the community or feeling the need to be social, rips that away from you.

I know it's strange.

Obligations subtract from happiness.

Family obligations are the number one culprit.

Casual friends and acquaintances you can skip out on.

Work is more difficult; however, you get vacation and sick days to look forward to as an escape.

You learn that you need to perform a function to unlock rewards in society which you can trade for happiness.

Nobody does.

Yeah, they just make it worse.

They trade their rewards for more obligations.

They might get a week abroad at a resort and that's about it.

That's their only escape for the year.

Most people don't even realize it.

They are too hypnotized by the culture game, making appearances, and trying to get ahead.

I just want to be left alone.

What do you think about love?

It's a belief.

Ram Dass teaches a mantra to hypnotize you into that belief.

"I am loving awareness."

It's really good.

Why?

Because it isn't necessarily real.

It's a belief.

If you want to believe in something, believe in belief.

Not love.

Yeah, but love is what some spiritual traditions teach.

Yes, it's a good hit of dopamine and keeps the spiritual community together.

The community is the bond and love is the glue.

It's a game.

What about other love?

Who do you love?

Well, you are supposed to love your family.

Why?

Happenstance.

Expectation.

They provide for you.

Take care of you.

That's part of the whole caring scene where you need a network of people to care about you and in return you provide support.

It's conditional.

Isn't family support and love unconditional?

It can seem that way.

So, you don't think it is?

I think it is the top level of the conditional support reciprocal arrangement.

So, it's reciprocal.

Yeah.

You give and take.

That's life.

Why do you believe in unconditional love?

I don't know; it sounds high and mighty.

You have found it.

It's friendship.

It's uncaring love.

It fits into your religion of Paul.

So, you rank love below belief and trust?

I don't think it is part of that group.

Why not?

Belief gives meaning to this story that has no meaning.

You manufacture beliefs.

Trust is a very hard game to win.

There is a game of power you can play.

You must trust the other.

Why?

You give them your power, and they give it back to you.

If you don't trust them, they will keep it.

Why?

You lack trust.

They can't trust you.

I see how that works.

So, those are the two biggies.

Is there a third?

Yeah, it's okay to cheat if you don't get caught.

Why?

Nobody knows except you.

Doesn't that violate trust?

No, you don't get caught.

The understanding is that nobody is really trustworthy.

So, it's all a fool.

Sort of.

You still share power.

If you can be trusted to share power, the other stuff doesn't matter.

So, love isn't part of this?

What is love?

A feeling.

Why do you have that feeling of love?

It's something to do with being selfish where you can take the self-important need to care for yourself and transfer it onto another.

That's not bad.

It's part of the teachings of Ram Dass where he told you that you put your love in someone else.

You take your heart and give it to another so you can worship it.

You are worshipping the concept of love and not the other person.

You can take it back from them.

Withdraw your love.

That sounds a little cold.

Something to think about.

I got right to the edge of the worst decision of my life.

That was your rock cliff to jump off.

It was a mental cliff.

How did you survive?

I did nothing and it went away.

I sit here years later in the forest having a smoke.

Funny how life turns out.

That path led to perdition, and you escaped by doing nothing.

It was painful.

The correct path of nothing can sometimes lead to temporary pain.

In the long run, it's a winner.

You are happy and at peace.

Yeah, it's nice.

You got what you were looking for.

If you go against the teachings of the Tao, you will not find what you are looking for.

Do you see how impossible it is?

Yeah, we are programmed to do something.

That leads you on a path to not necessarily destruction but unfulfillment of the reasons you incarnated.

You could even be happy.

Well, you'd be happy as long as you remain ignorant of what could have been.

It will always gnaw away at you as you fulfill the latest obligations you have trapped yourself in.

You know you have the answers.

There's nothing gnawing away at you.

It's the opposite where you are fulfilled.

If this was it, would you be fulfilled?

Yeah, I found what I was looking for.

What do you think?

It's pretty funny.

Amazing.

Do you think people will believe you when you tell them about it?

No.

Why?

They are serious.

Everything is serious.

Life is serious.

It ends in a wooden box that you try to delay as long as possible.

When they bury you, it doesn't seem serious anymore.

We make it serious.

You need to be saved.

Prepare for your afterlife.

What's the worst thing you can do?

Prepare for your afterlife.

Why?

You will take it seriously.

When you drop the body, don't do anything.

Everyone does something.

Yeah, they head for the white light.

What's the white light?

Heaven or similar.

Isn't that where they want to go?

Yes.

Then why avoid it?

It's not what they think.

Why not?

It's a dreadful place.

Full of rules and non-stop worship of God.

They don't like the alternative, so they choose that one.

What about the paradise of the Elysium fields?

It's a perfect place of bliss and happiness.

What have you been taught about that?

It's utopia.

Nothing happens.

Why?

You are hypnotized into a state of bliss.

Sounds nice.

How did you feel before awakening?

I knew something was off.

It gnaws away at you until you embark on an adventure to figure it out.

Exactly.

Paradise is populated by people trying to figure it out.

Aren't they blissed out?

No, they awaken in paradise.

Kind of like Adam and Eve?

Yeah, they were given paradise.

Eve ate a metaphorical apple and awakened.

So, Eve was the first to awaken.

Yes, and then she woke up Adam.

Once awakened paradise was lost.

Well, what about now when people awaken?

Paradise was already lost.

That awakening allows you to see there is more than the daily toil of earthly existence.

You see a purpose.

What's the purpose?

A higher calling.

What is it?

Paradise.

You are trying to return to paradise.

Sounds like the Old Testament story of the Israelites returning to the land of milk and honey.

Yeah, that's it.

They want to go back to sleep.

Milk and honey is a euphemism for bliss.

This is good bible study.

So, the process is awakening and then trying to go back to sleep.

Yes, religion and spirituality puts you back to sleep.

Join up with one of these groups and off you go.

Nighty, night.

That's where the second awakening as described in the canons of Paulism comes in.

Right.

The second awakening is that you see the trap of spiritual outfits.

It doesn't even matter if you avoid the culturally approved church and join some spiritual misfits.

The goal is to put you back to sleep.

So, there are three awakenings.

Yes, three.

Of course.

We don't experience the first.

That was Eve and then Adam.

We are born into that world.

We can then spiritually awaken.

If that happens, it is required by society that you immediately join something and go back to sleep.

Why?

You are a menace.

Yes, that's me.

I didn't join anything.

I did nothing.

Then I hit the third awakening.

Yes, the third awakening is the big one.

You see the carnival in all its strangeness.

Has anyone ever been here?

They got to the gate.

What happened?

They became the religion they avoided.

Larger than life.

Huge ego.

They are the ones who establish new movements.

Like Paulism?

Precisely.

That's what happens to someone who gets this far.

What's the result?

The power corrupts them.

Why?

Followers and a sense of self-importance.

They take it seriously.

They go back to sleep in their feeling of self-importance.

They forget it is just a ride at the carnival.

Do you think you will ever do that?

No.

Why not?

I don't take it seriously.

It's real though.

Yeah, but it's a carnival.

You can't take a carnival seriously.

Why?

It's no longer fun.

It would close down.

What do these people do then because they have seen the absurdity of it?

They forget about it.

If you forget it is a carnival, you go back to sleep.

Why?

You take it seriously.

Seriousness puts you back to sleep.

Or milk and honey.

Got it.

Women put you to sleep as well.

Yeah, have you ever seen a mother with her newborn?

That's the main thing they do.

Rock the baby to sleep after milk.

They do that with everyone.

They are agents of the Goddess at her carnival, making sure you remain asleep.

If you start to wake up, she puts you back to sleep.

Why does she do that?

You will leave the carnival.

Why?

No one stays at a carnival they wake up in and treat seriously.

So, that's the deal?

It's the expectation.

The only way to wake up, see the carnival, and remain is to not take it seriously.

Yeah, so she will always try to either put you to sleep or get you to leave.

Or both.

Exactly.

What should I do?

Nothing.

Will that work?

Yes.

Why?

If you don't participate in her games, then you can't get hypnotized.

She can't force you to leave.

Why not?

How would she do that?

Make my life difficult.

What's the answer?

Do nothing.

ticketmaster

If you don't go mad, you will find happiness.

How does that work?

Whatever was designed to drive you crazy didn't work.

How do you get past it?

Ignoring, not caring, and doing nothing.

All of it.

Then you are happy.

Allies and protection you have cultivated.

How?

You respect the plants and don't take them seriously.

I thought they wanted seriousness?

Who told you that?

A bunch of people on the path.

They said it was work and not play.

I think that was to encourage you to integrate the experience as opposed to thinking it is just a trip.

A mindfuck trip and you are done.

Most people take drugs because they want to be entertained.

Blow their mind.

It's the same reason you'd go to a theme park or a sporting event.

Theatre.

You got it.

Drugs are entertainment.

We are drawn to pleasure and entertainment.

Friday nights are for Netflix and chill.

Get your favourite foods, drinks, and indulge.

You can get that with drugs if you want and enter into another reality.

That's why some people love reading.

They get lost in the story.

It's the same thing with drugs.

So, I'm not unique?

Yeah, you are.

How so?

You don't find them pleasurable in a physical sense.

You mean Mary Jayne?

Yeah.

I can get a rush of lust, which is nice.

The other purported effects of bliss, stoning, appetite, and amusement aren't as much.

Why is that?

I think it's my shamanic training.

You were trained?

No, I experienced altered states.

I didn't get much training.

I went to the deep end and was tossed in the pool.

I had to learn to swim.

You think that is the best way?

No, but it was for me.

How do you know?

It worked.

There are gateway drugs, so you get your feet wet before you try the heavier ones.

I didn't do that.

I flew to Peru and trekked into the Amazon jungle.

I then drank a couple cups of Ayahuasca and went on a journey.

I wasn't prepared at all.

They give you a diet and sexual restrictions to follow so that you will take it seriously.

Did you do that?

For the most part I did.

Pre and post.

So, were you serious about it?

I think so.

Why?

I was trying to figure it out.

I didn't know what it meant other than that I'd meet these spirits.

Mostly the spirits were the Goddess, and this dark figure I had trouble identifying.

He sometimes said he was God.

Sometimes, he said he was the Devil.

I didn't know what to think at times.

I ran from him.

I engaged him.

All in all, those were the two main characters.

In retrospect, I see it.

The Goddess and Dion.

Same thing with Magic Mushrooms where there were those two as well.

Then with Mary Jayne I'd get the same, but the experience with MJ solidified my identification of Dion.

I was never unsure of the Goddess; however, my shadow's identity was always slippery.

I had mostly figured him out with Ayahuasca and Huachuma, but I had lingering doubts.

My experiences with MJ allowed me to fully understand him.

Do you think you fully understand him?

As much as I need to.

I think it works both ways.

How so?

He's not omnipotent and struggled to understand me as well.

Why?

I'm unique.

No one understands me.

They try.

They can only get so far before they get scared.

Why is that?

The darkness.

It scares you, imagine someone else?

Yeah, they'd run.

Get the fuck out.

What do I do?

Nothing.

Maybe say their name.

Yeah, that's a brilliant move.

You did that to me.

It's incredible in its efficacy.

You do nothing.

If you did something, the trick would fall apart.

Do you remember what happened?

Yeah, you said my name and I ran.

Then my mind did the rest.

I was my own worst enemy.

You didn't do anything.

That's brilliant.

That is the world's best magician at play.

You manifest and say hi.

It scares the fuck out of people and they run.

Especially if they do drugs.

All the people you meet who are habitual drug users you easily get in their heads and scare.

Some recover.

Why?

You do no harm.

They realize it after a while.

Other people aren't so sure.

That's why people tell you that you are in their dreams.

If you try to forcefully get in someone's head, they can defend the goal.

If you casually wander in the unlocked door, they can't stop you.

Drug use opens a port and makes you vulnerable.

A networking analogy.

Yeah, it works.

Take drugs and you need a software patch for the vulnerabilities.

Is there one?

No.

When others fuck with you, they get smacked down.

Why is that?

They try to force their way in.

Sure, but you leave the front door unlocked.

Correct, I invite in the attackers.

Why would you do that?

It is easier to control them.

Why?

You see them right away if they walk in the front door.

It is a trap.

How so?

They can't resist.

If they would go in through the side door that has been left open by drug use, they would not be detected, however, everyone will try the front door first.

Why?

Human nature.

It's the flow.

Least resistance.

See if you can get in the front door.

You let them in.

You identify them and send them on their way.

You have the capacity to deal with them.

Okay, that's cool, but that means your method of getting into people's heads is not the flow.

That is correct.

I thought you were supposed to follow the flow?

Well, you are seeking balance.

Everyone is coming in the front door, so you go to the side door for balance.

Yes, that's what I do.

Everyone locks the front door.

The sequence is a knock at the front door.

You are let in or denied.

You go to the side door and look for a way in.

If you find an unlocked entry, you enter, if not, you move on.

Who gets let in the front door?

Those you want to play with.

Oh, okay I see it.

That's interest and attraction.

So, you say you skip that part?

Sometimes.

It's random.

You do both, don't you?

Yeah, Paul knocks on the front door and Dion goes to the side door.

There are two streams.

Do you now see how it is different?

Yeah, people act in a unified psychic field and go to one door at a time.

You are dual and knock at the front and side door at the same time.

Well, you don't knock at the side door.

You see if it is unlocked.

If it is, you enter.

How are you not detected?

Paul is distracting them at the front door.

Ah.

Isn't this unethical?

Why?

You are uninvited.

The door is unlocked.

That is the invitation.

They took drugs and unlocked the side door.

You should be aware of that.

That's not taught.

It kind of is.

You are warned about it.

When you take plant medicines such as Ayahuasca or Huachuma, you are told about the probability you will meet what you perceive as light and dark spirits in your travels.

Some people will tell you how to dismiss the dark spirits and thoughts.

Yes, that's spiritual bypassing.

People use that term all the time.

I never got what it meant.

Love and light, baby!

Those people are intolerable.

One dimensional.

I never understood spiritual materialism either.

What is that?

Beats me.

What do you think it is before you look it up?

I'd guess it means embodying your new found holiness and not doing any integration.

That's pretty close.

It means collecting spiritual experiences to boost your ego as opposed to transcendence of the ego.

You mean practices such as yoga, meditation, and acquiring knowledge to inflate oneself as spiritual.

Yeah, that's good.

Do you do that?

I keep to myself.

If anything, I'm more weird and creepy as a result of my spiritual path.

I wouldn't even call it spiritual anymore.

I did at first, before I understood it.

Do you practice yoga or meditation?

No.

Why not?

They seem like achievement markers, so you can assure yourself that you are spiritual and enlightened.

Do you think you are enlightened?

I'm awake.

Two times.

I see a carnival and the Goddess of the West.

The Goddess of the West comes to take you home.

Home as in death of the body.

Yes, the carnival is her illusion, and she decides when you leave.

If you wish to say I'm enlightened, then my definition of enlightenment becomes awakening twice and seeing the ticketmaster who tells you to leave her amusement park.

No one will believe you.

I know.

What were we talking about?

Seriousness and whether you should take the plant medicine path seriously.

That's a test.

Why?

Because you should and then when you get to the resolution of the journey, you drop the seriousness.

That's clever.

Yeah, you gotta do the work.

Then you must know when to stop taking it seriously.

When is that?

It's obvious, you see the carnival.

Why would you enter a carnival and take it seriously?

It's supposed to be fun.

What happens if you take the carnival seriously after seeing it?

The same thing that happens to everyone.

The Goddess tells you to leave.

Why?

You're a killjoy.

You are going to tell everyone about her carnival.

Isn't that what you are doing?

Yes.

She wants me to leave.

Why are you still here?

I don't take it seriously.

It's fun.

So, you are awake and having fun?

Correct.

If you awaken, see the carnival, and take it seriously, you are cooked.

Why?

You'll run.

Don't run.

Laugh.

You can choose what reality to live within.

It's easy to adapt your beliefs into this reality.

Other people will think you are crazy.

It's because we accept consensus reality.

That's what grounds us all.

There's a consensus narrative we follow.

That's why reality is shared.

We have all tuned our dial to that frequency.

Ah, I see it.

Yeah, so you take control of your dial and tune into another band.

That's a good metaphor to explain mind states.

Ram Dass would talk about changing channels.

This is similar.

He never told you what those other channels were.

Yes, because he was a Harvard psychologist.

What do you mean by that?

He knew the human mind couldn't handle the other states of reality.

Research all pointed towards people going crazy.

He was doing it.

He went a little crazy; however, because he was aware, he was able to come back.

Why didn't he teach that?

It's not ethical.

You'd be responsible for the dropouts.

The ones who permanently exit would be on your conscience.

It's best not to teach it.

What's in these alternate realities?

Different stories.

You can make them fit into consensus reality if you wish.

You might have to bend and twist them, but they will fit.

How does that work?

It's the same energy.

The amount of paint is the same.

You paint a different picture using the same paint.

Another sharp metaphor.

Yeah, I see it.

Consensus reality gives you an acceptable image of reality.

When you tune in to a different frequency, i.e. a perspective, you can give the snow globe a shake and see things differently.

The potential is enormous.

You shape feminine energy into a serpent and then watch it play out in this world.

That's pretty cool.

You take masculine energy and make a bull.

Then you observe the mating habits of men.

Have a laugh.

Disney teaches that happiness is when all your dreams come true.

No, that is the ending of your story.

It's happily-ever-after.

The moral of that story is that you find happiness when you leave the carnival.

You will not find happiness in the carnival.

You find madness.

That is true, however, I found that if you get past the madness, you find happiness.

How so?

I don't know.

Then how do you know you found happiness?

It's a feeling.

I can't explain it.

What's the feeling?

You are content.

Why are you content?

I figured out the story.

You aren't supposed to know until you leave the carnival and are shown.

Wouldn't that make you mad?

Yes, a little.

So, even in your discovery of happiness you will find madness.

Correct.

I found the carnival.

Doesn't that make you mad?

No.

Why?

I wanted to know.

Isn't that your dream?

Yeah.

Then that should be a happily-ever-after.

Yes, but there's always more.

You wanted to know the origin of beliefs and the meaning of life.

You pretty much found them.

Yes, it makes me happy as it should.

Why?

I made my dreams come true.

It's a fancy word for desires.

It's sanded down for consumption.

Clearly.

Okay, so you can now live happily-ever-after.

Correct.

Why don't you do that?

I am.

Yes, but it's the end of your story and your story isn't over.

That is correct.

Why?

Who said that happily-ever-after means nothing happens?

No one, it is assumed.

Why?

Because if you do something you will fuck up your happiness.

It's logical.

You are continuing at the risk of destroying your happiness.

It won't.

Why not?

I know it's a carnival game.

It doesn't matter what happens.

Why not?

It doesn't matter.

It's a story.