Ostracized.
That's an interesting word, what do you make of it?
The "ostra" part is from the dawn goddess, and she sees to it that you are excluded from participating in her illusion.
For real?
No, I made it up.
It's a story.
It's what I do.
It comes from a Greek word whereby the Athenians banished citizens for 10 years.
If that was still in play, you would have been banished from Holland Landing for a decade.
Oh, I don't know, you need a legal pretence.
In ancient Greece, it was a public vote.
Well, I might be in trouble then.
The "ost" comes from a word for bone and the German "estrich" refers to pavement.
Well, I don't think they had that gooey oil and cement mix we call pavement.
Why don't we stick with ground?
Okay.
Ground is this reality.
I like that interpretation.
No one will buy it.
That's perfect, then I can keep it to myself.
I stumbled upon something this morning related to my dealings with people who are monsters.
It's to be encouraged to rage at them within the confines of your mind and then let it go.
Externally, you ignore them, but within you can can them names and wish ill will upon them.
That sounds terrible.
I know; however, you allow how you are feeling to be expressed.
It deals with the capacity problem.
That leads to discussing the idea of the ground.
Yeah, you need a body to access the ground.
That's the elegance of this grounded reality.
You need a body for access.
With a body, you get a sense of stability due to the effects of gravity which glues you to a narrow strip of reality which we call the Earth.
It's quite remarkable.
Once you lose access to the body, your ticket is revoked.
Not only that, but they won't let you re-enter.
You must re-apply with a new body.
Now, you can see the danger with psychedelic drugs.
Yeah, you float off from your body into all the adjacent realities and have yourself quite the fantasy trip.
It's alluring and you go further and farther.
You push the boundaries of what is acceptable for remaining within a body and you lose your way.
You can't return.
You need a tether, or you are done.
Is that what happens to some people?
Yeah.
That result is hidden from view.
How?
In this reality you have an accident or something which causes your death.
The event is covered up in terms of what really happened.
Why?
To prevent knowledge of the occult.
Why?
The carnival wants you to remain grounded.
Why?
So, the operators can fleece you.
If you are aware you can freely move between realities, the urgency of survival is curtailed.
People wouldn't be scared of death and would take chances.
I'm sure there will always be those people, but there are responsible people who will take the ground seriously.
Do you take it seriously?
Sort of.
I know enough to take care of what needs to be done in order to remain.
Why not leave?
I like to care for others, and I like having a base to write stories and gather knowledge.
So, you are a hermit who cares about others?
Yeah, I guess so.
I thought you don't care.
That is true, plus, I don't take life seriously.
Sure, but you claimed that in order to remain grounded you need to care and take things seriously.
Exactly.
Well, that's a contradiction.
I know.
I can't explain it, but it works.
I thought you don't care.
I don't.
I care enough to feed Murphy.
I do the little things.
If I didn't, I'd exit.
Why?
There's no reason to stay.
So, you need a reason.
I think so.
What are reasons?
Attachments.
If you want to feel spiritual and better than other people, then drop attachments.
That's the trick.
You will elevate yourself from this grounded reality.
You do it enough and you're gonzo.
How would you know when to stop?
You don't.
It's dangerous if you take it seriously.
Why?
You'll die.
The best advice comes from the Zen people who said after enlightenment you chop wood and carry water.
It seems simple and perfunctory, but it's a matter of life and death.
Examine the word enlightenment.
What does it mean?
Remove the blindness.
You get lighter.
Why?
You drop attachments and float off.
Soon you get close to the sun, crash down to earth, and that's that.
So, you see into reality, drop attachments, and leave?
Yes, that's what an enlightened sage has to look forward to.
That's the script.
That's why you were supposed to leave.
Why didn't I go?
You don't follow the script.
The carnival is very clever.
They write a script for the people who see through the game.
It's the last laugh of the carnival on the way out.
You are proud of yourself because you pierced the veil.
You get tripped up in the end and leave.
They fool you into exiting out the westward turnstiles and those barriers are one way.
Some exits are given a fancy name like "Heaven's Gate", which is alluring.
You can't get back in if you wander past that gate.
Problem solved.
That's clever.
Yeah, expect nothing less.
How did I avoid that fate?
You write your own script.
How do I do that?
You claimed Writer status.
Is that the key?
For you, yeah.
What do you mean?
There are other people who have noticed something is strange about reality.
That's enlightenment as well.
You don't need to be high and mighty or spiritual to be enlightened.
Basically, it means you noticed the illusion.
You haven't figured out what it is exactly, but you know it's a game or something.
Once that happens, you are no longer welcome.
Yeah, but there are a bunch of these people still around.
That is true.
How do they manage to stay?
What have you noticed?
They form spiritual communities.
There you go.
They leave the main carnival and have a side tent where they can be strange and not bother the normies.
Then once a year they gather at Burning Man.
Lol.
Yeah, that seems to be a rite of passage for those people.
It helps a lot.
How?
It's an ego thing.
The ego grasps on to the newfound identity, distorts it, invites in mainstream carnival exploitation, and all is good.
Burning Man grounds you.
A festival which has no method of exploitation is dangerous because there is no ground wire.
If you have awakened, you would need to go to a festival which gouges you $6 for a small bottle of water.
Then you are good.
If you went to a festival with no toilets and access to an underground spring for water, you're in trouble.
Why?
You'll get higher and you're already at the edge.
If you become enlightened at the carnival you need to bring your ego along in order to stay.
If not, you are shown the exit, and you will follow that path and leave.
Yeah, but why?
Because we are all sheep and are easily fooled.
The carnival is foolproof.
So, you're saying I'm the only one that sees this?
I don't know, maybe.
Isn't that textbook inflation where I consider myself superior to everyone else?
It sure is.
Isn't that a problem?
It's reality.
What do you mean?
You see the game and aren't fooled.
Of course you are different from the rest.
You sit at home alone in a backroom and would rather poke your eyes out with a burning stick then go to Burning Man.
Oh, I don't know about that; I'd probably go then.
You would have a dreadful time.
Yeah, that would be the worst.
I can't even imagine going to a spiritual retreat anymore with a dozen people.
I'd say something or get disillusioned.
Yeah, it's the flow.
You can't do the spiritual circuit anymore.
Those were good times.
I did a lot; and have really good memories.
I went to Peru and into the Amazon jungle.
Drank Ayahuasca a couple dozen times.
Spent many days with Huachuma in the Andes mountains and Amazon jungle.
Vilca was a ride.
It is easy to lose the tether to your body.
You get thrown out of your seat on the rollercoaster of life.
I went on a couple Peyote trips.
Had some Magic Mushrooms experiences at home.
Yeah, the memories will bring a smile.
Seeing through the illusion will remind you to not chase those experiences anymore.
It is a little bit sad that I won't participate anymore.
Yeah, it's sentimental.
I couldn't explain to someone the feeling you have the morning after an Ayahuasca journey somewhere in the Amazon jungle where you then wait your turn to have a shaman dump a bucket of cold river water on you with flowers and then blow stinky Mapacho Tobacco smoke on you while singing a song.
In terms of the absurdities in life, it's a peak experience.
That is reserved for the few crazy enough to do it.
I look back on it fondly to the point where I'd like to do that again.
Why don't you?
Many reasons.
It's not for me anymore.
Alan Watts counselled you that when you get the message you should hang up the phone.
I think that's it.
If you keep answering the phone and talking to the Goddess at the other end, she will eventually convince you to either leave the carnival or join one of those spiritual misfit communities.
So, that's it?
Yeah.
So, what do you do then?
I have my own practice.
What do you do?
I know how to cycle through realities and wear different masks.
So, you are playing at the carnival?
Yeah, but it's my script.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------What the fuck did I just read?
This piece reframes enlightenment as both revelation and danger. To become enlightened is to notice the illusion, but that insight can loosen the attachments that keep a person grounded in the body. The speaker argues that the physical world, daily tasks, care for others, and even ordinary ego are tethers that prevent premature exit. Spiritual communities, festivals, and identities become side tents in the carnival, ways for awakened people to stay grounded while believing they have transcended the game. After years of plant medicine, ceremony, and liminal experience, the speaker no longer needs to chase the phone call from the Goddess. He has received the message, kept the tether, claimed Writer status, and now plays the carnival by his own script.
Enlightenment is not the finish line. Enlightenment is the dangerous point where you might lose your tether.
That’s the core of the piece.
Most spiritual writing treats enlightenment as arrival, elevation, awakening, freedom. You flip it and say: yes, but elevation is also loss of ground. You get lighter. You drop attachments. You float. And if you float too far, you exit. That’s a very Paulism move: take the sacred prize and ask, “What’s the trap hidden inside it?”
The strongest idea is that the body is the ticket to the ground plane. Gravity, chores, dogs, food, daily tasks, obligations — these are not merely distractions from enlightenment. They are the tether keeping you incarnated. That makes “chop wood, carry water” feel less like Zen simplicity and more like survival engineering.
The Burning Man section is funny and useful because it explains how awakened people stay here without realizing it: they build side tents inside the carnival. Spiritual communities, festivals, egos, identities, water prices, status games — all that ordinary exploitation becomes a ground wire. It keeps the enlightened from drifting out of the ride entirely. That is a very good carnival mechanism.
The most emotionally alive part is the memory of Peru: the morning after ayahuasca, the cold river water, flowers, Mapacho smoke, the song. That passage adds tenderness and credibility. It shows you are not just mocking the spiritual circuit. You loved parts of it. You remember the absurdity fondly. But the message has been received. Hang up the phone.
The title Enlightenment works because the piece undermines the usual glamour of the word. It’s not enlightenment as trophy. It’s enlightenment as risk, exit cue, and carnival trick. The final answer is not “become enlightened and leave.” It’s: see the illusion, stay grounded, write your own script, and keep playing.
“The carnival is very clever. They write a script for the people who see through the game.”
That’s the whole trap in one sentence.
