rollercoaster

I think fluoride makes your teeth hurt.

It gets in the holes in your teeth and makes them hurt so you will go to the dentist.

Fluoride is a tool of the dentist.

That's how it prevents cavities.

That's an interesting conspiracy theory.

Thanks, I came up with it all on my own.

A key to investing is paradoxical.

You must have a high risk tolerance and then patience to do nothing when that tolerance is tested.

Because you can handle risk, the temptation is to make a risky decision to do something when faced with adversity.

The level of risk you need is the strength to do nothing when faced with the turmoil of high winds.

Others will offer you advice so you can repeat their mistakes.

Do nothing.

The siren is present within communities.

It's a call to join their outfit of assimilated people who were at one point independent and happy.

Communities have fines, bylaws, and jails.

Communities have snitch lines.

People talk behind your back all the time.

Why are you living in this community?

Good question.

Ideally, you would find a place which lacks neighbours and community.

It's a rollercoaster ride.

Stocks.

Drugs.

Life.

You touch a high.

You keep trying to get back to that high, but you can't.

Why?

You try to do too much.

The secret is to do nothing, and you will return.

Well, you are doing something, you are just aware to do it within a container and with discipline.

It's a little surprising in your case because you will take chances.

What about the low?

People try to avoid the low point again.

How?

Advice, diversification, and strategy.

Won't the rollercoaster return to the low point?

Yes.

Nothing lasts forever.

The ride will end for all.

Even the great companies you invest in.

Your biological life will come to an end.

Drugs are a wildcard and can take you low without warning.

What do you do?

Nothing.

If you do nothing you will return to the low.

Yes, it's natural.

When you fight it, you invite the return quicker.

Why?

The resistance makes it stronger.

So, you just let it ride.

Yeah, don't touch it.

Ride the rollercoaster.

The writer gives everyone a good ride on the rollercoaster.

When you fuck with it, then the rollercoaster goes off the tracks.

Don't fuck with the rollercoaster.

My decent retirement ahead is by luck.

Hard work doesn't get you ahead.

You will spend the money unless you find a place to put it where it is hard to get at.

I think that's the secret the credit card companies know about.

If you have easy access to it, you will spend it.

Putting your money into the stock market gets you ahead if you know how to manage your money.

An advisor will help you make steady gains.

They won't make you wealthy.

They are risk averse.

Hard work is overrated.

Staying employed and getting a decent amount of money to invest long-term is the reward you should seek.

Plus, buy a house and make those payments.

Will the rollercoaster return?

Always.

Are you scared?

No, it was a perfect ride last time.

Gratitude.

My life was spared.

That was the death spiral.

Dion saved me.

Just so we are clear, he played the Devil and saved you.

Yes, the Devil saved me.

Doesn't that make you scared?

No, that's so cool.

I didn't even ask.

It is because we are friends.

That's what friends are for.

The best friend you could hope for is the Devil.

That's a show stopper.

Dominant people want to dominate anyone.

Or animals.

Or ideas.

Submissive people want to serve.

They both don't have issues with gender, they just want control or to submit.

Is it a fetish?

Yes, but lots play it, not necessarily sexually.

You must pick a side to play.

Who says?

They do.

Some will pretend to be submissive and then take control.

That's their game.

Physical and mental dominance.

You didn't fall for it.

I never took control.

They give you power, and you are supposed to take it.

You didn't.

I'm impressively high.

Climbing the ladder today.

Notice how you don't go to the top of the ladder or the heights of your mind.

I know what it is like.

You'll fall.

You did okay on the very top of the ladder and at the edges of your mind.

Yeah, don't stay there.

Why is their freedom on the way up high?

You're dropping attachments.

Why?

You are told to.

You know what is the biggest attachment?

Heaven.

Attachments weigh you down.

You take them into Hell and burn them all.

That's why you go to Hell.

That's why Ammit, the devouring divine feminine monster of ancient Egypt, takes you there if you have a heavy heart full of attachment.

She takes you where you need to go.

You burn all your attachments and get free.

Yes, like an attachment to Heaven.

Precisely that one.

That fools you every time and you have been playing a long time.

Yeah, so people will eventually figure it out.

Then they pick Hell.

They think they must choose.

When they are finally convinced Hell is Hell, they do the no choose, nothing thing.

Does it go in that order?

Any order to figure it out.

Is this my first time playing that game?

I think so.

Why?

I don't remember choosing a side.

If I did, I'd remember.

You remembered blue water jugs in a massive Déjà vu.

That was pointing towards SpiritQuest.

It was a vision.

You remember Dion.

Yeah.

The Goddess.

Yeah.

I'm still playing the ritual game at the carnival.

I haven't beat it.

Yeah, but it's your game.

Yeah, I brought it to the carnival.

Why?

Because you go on all the rides at the carnival.

Why not do them again?

People don't do that.

They want to do them all.

Like at Disneyland.

Yes, and then they leave.

I knew I'd do them all and eventually get tired of them, so I brought my own game.

It's kind of stupid.

Easy to play.

I always lose.

Then I win some.

I have to do it 7 times in a row perfectly to win the whole game.

That beats the game.

Are you close?

No.

It also helps me beat other games.

How?

When I get really high or low, I play it.

It balances things out.

That's the reason behind my altars and mesa.

So, I'm playing this game wherever I am.

That's next level knowledge.

If you were going to design a nice day up here, this is close.

Some will complain about the bugs.

The worry would be greater if no bugs were out.

The movies you identify with are revealing.

Blue Velvet, The Matrix, Fight Club.

Wild at Heart.

It made it seem like I am disturbed.

You are.

I woke you up.

That what disturbed really means.

Yes, you woke the demon as in that kid is disturbed.

It fits.

Then the community conspires to put the demon back to sleep.

If not, they lock you up.

Once you are out, you aren't going back in.

Yeah, you must figure out a way to fit in.

What makes me or you special?

I'm out and there's no need to lock me up.

I'm cultured.

I can go out with you in public.

Okay, I see that.

You lay low for the most part.

It's all good.

How are you feeling?

I'm great.

You still have resistance.

Yes.

Good.

Why?

Balance.

Tao.

The two are resisting each other to create balance.

We are friends.

Yes, but there is some resistance.

You think I'm the Devil and I think you aren't trustworthy.

I do have a history, so your concerns are valid, however I made you like a dog and I'm great with dogs.

If you get good at the ritual, you can sense danger.

The ritual is your guide to staying at the carnival.

Have mesa, will travel.

There's no one up here because of the mosquitoes.

This is great.

Thank you, mosquitoes.

The branches creak and the wind blows when you are this high.

Sirens.

I finished all the rides at the carnival.

The monster was the last ride, and the ritual keeps you here.

She is still around.

It is a fun ride.

So, I've gone on all the rides at the carnival?

No, there's always more.

You did all the major rides.

You avoided the rides you shouldn't go on.

They are for fools.

Maybe I should go on them?

You're the fool, not a fool.

The great fool would see those rides are not something you should go on.

The shady character at the entrance should give it away.

The drug dealer?

Exactly.

They are illegal rides.

Even in the permissible countries, they are illegal.

That should give you a clue.

Yes, but so is Mary Jayne.

Why is she illegal in a lot of places?

She shows you the game.

She reveals the carnival nature of reality.

Why are some countries now okay with this?

Because with education they feel they can mitigate the problems she causes.

The mental health industry is all for MJ and Magic Mushrooms use because they will exacerbate and explode the mental health crisis.

I see that.

When you see the nature of reality, it is so confounding and absurd it will cause you to enter psychosis.

Why didn't that happen to me?

You have the strongest mind, plus you shut up about it.

When you do speak about it, you sound rational because you back it up with examples in the real world.

Like the whole Trump soap opera?

Precisely.

You write about it constantly.

Yeah, but no one reads it.

Whoever reads it thinks you are a little off.

I don't hide it.

I am pretty much together though.

I have my shit together in consensus reality even though I know it is a front for the carnival.

How does this reconcile with the idea of reality being a porno?

The porno is creating the customers for the carnival.

The carnival is the set that the Goddess created.

The writer is responsible for creating the story at the carnival.

He does it by creating rides.

You wander through life in the carnival, and you go on rides.

I see that.

The rides are fun.

Sometimes scary.

The ride ends and if you are still around you walk around, get something to eat, see a show, and so on.

Go on some more rides.

Watch others on their ride.

Everyone wants you to watch them go round and round on the Swings or Merry-Go-Round.

True.

They wave to you.

Look at me on this ride.

This is absurd.

It's amazing.

Diabolical.

The writer is twisted and makes the best amusement park.

That's why they get him to write the story.

Without him the carnival sucks and closes down after only a little bit.

The carnivals that move from town to town know they have a short shelf life and keep moving.

They are alternate stories by shit writers.

The only true carnival, the only true reality, is the one I have written into existence.

carnival

One of my teachers said there is always more.

It's why no one can give you a definitive answer when it comes to the spiritual trip or the nebulous idea of enlightenment.

The answer would be in terms of what do you want me to say?

Nothing is defined.

It's absurd.

I cannot describe it.

I can point you towards teachings and experiences which will allow you to see it for yourself.

That's the role of a teacher.

The student must experience it themselves.

It's the idea of the shaman as a doorman.

He or she leads you to the door.

You knock and enter because this is what you wanted.

Then the great cosmic joke is unveiled.

It's always interesting to see how you react to it.

People can't handle it, and they go crazy.

It's best to be a squirrel, gather nuts, and not worry about finding meaning in life.

It's the level of consciousness which spurs you on towards attempting to find meaning.

We are all from the same bucket of energy and every form of energy which has life has the same potential.

The only difference is unlocking the governors upon that potential.

There's what Aldous Huxley described in the "Doors of Perception" as a reducing valve which prevents our mind from knowing everything.

The more you can access, the more is revealed.

If you want to go on a spiritual trip towards enlightenment, you need a method to open the valve.

If you open it up too much at once, you will not be able to handle it, and you will suffer mental health problems.

If you open it a little bit at a time, you will eventually be able to work with the knowledge.

You don't need much.

You find the sweet spot and create a container for your exploration.

Within the container there is enough to keep you going for a long time.

Within the oval container you find the edges through ritual.

You can explore the edges of the container to get glimpses of the great beyond.

Without the discipline of a container, you will eventually get too high or too low and not be able to return.

This is my contribution to the spiritual seeker community.

What about the corporate teat?

It's very rewarding.

I can see how some people are wary of a corporate job when they have an inner calling of freedom.

Corporations are good at tying you to them, and you base your life on being available for the company.

They reward you when you do this.

The benefits are great.

They fund your retirement.

You get regular pay.

The key to happiness is knowing what they are doing, harbouring a general disdain, and soldiering on.

It's a fool.

If you start your own business, you will tie yourself to your business.

The rewards are potentially greater.

No one gets rich working for the man.

You get rich through growing your business and through profiting not by a single digit percentage, but by multiple percentages.

The average is 15% to 25% for a good business while a high growth tech company can hit 50%.

The corporation will give you a 2% yearly raise while they strive for higher returns.

The company grows and you get a little bit.

Even in the down years they are still outpacing your raise.

It's best you don't have access to the balance sheet because if you did you would be angry with them and their financial dealings with you.

They speak of family and then they lay off your friends.

It's really quite the game.

What's your advice?

Do what they ask, pretend to care, and build your own wealth.

Take your money and invest in solid businesses through the stock market.

A solid business will see their share price rise between 10-15% a year accounting for fluctuations and the volatility of the market in general.

There's nothing you can do when world events cause market turbulence.

It's best to do nothing and ride the rollercoaster.

If you can get this side hustle going early in life, it's like having a business that generates extra money with the key being that you don't have to do anything.

Then you take the profits and reinvest in the business, making profit off your profits.

All the workers who put in time at these solid businesses are making you money while you do nothing.

That's my advice to the corporate worker, well, people in general.

What about herd behaviour in the stock market?

Yes, that's why you do nothing about turbulence when you are in it for the long haul.

The financial markets will follow the emotional sensibilities of human beings and how we react to news and events.

You could trade for gain based on this behaviour.

You do the opposite of what you are feeling, which is hard to do.

It's risky, so over the long haul it's best to sit and watch, however if you want to make a living trading the secret is to buy low and sell high.

It's very simple.

The problem is you go against what you are feeling and want to do.

What you are feeling is the call of herd behaviour.

Humans are bovines in disguise.

We follow the herd.

When the market is going up, we want in.

It's a thrill and a dopamine hit.

When crypto is soaring, we want in.

When the market drops, fear and panic sets in, and we want to get out.

Cut your losses and regroup.

The market always goes up and then it comes down.

Look it up.

If you know this, what do you think is the best strategy for being a trader?

Sell when you think it can't go much higher and buy when the market takes a dump.

The biggest problem with this strategy is missing out on the rebound after the dump.

Those are the huge days where if you miss them it will fuck up your year.

Just like holding on for too long at the high point because the drop comes fast.

It's a good rollercoaster ride.

It will be a fun activity in retirement when you can pay attention to it.

What is fun about the carnival?

The rides, attractions, and eats.

Sounds like life.

Yes, life is basic.

You want wealth and power in order to get admission to the finest carnival.

That one has the best rides and the shows are amazing.

You eat the finest food.

Is there something more to life than the carnival?

Making friends.

Making love.

What do you do with friends and lovers?

You hang out at the carnival.

Most people work for the carnival.

Yes, you must put in your time at the carnival and then you get let out to enjoy the carnival.

Some people prefer to stay home because they are tired of the carnival.

They make their own food and avoid the crowds.

As you get older, you definitely tire of the carnival.

People who enjoy peace and quiet start thinking about a cabin in the woods away from it all.

I would think the optimum balance is a cabin in the woods and then travel to exciting places.

That sounds like a good retirement.

real reality

I think don Howard was teaching that the stories of the mind will kill you.

I imagine he suffered from depression and found a way out.

It was through Huachuma and no mind.

No mind will lead to shedding all your attachments and that will kill you as well.

The solution is balance but I definitely see how if your mind is killing you then you would want the peace that no mind would bring and the medicine for that is Huachuma.

The biggest difference for you is your mind is your rock and other people's minds cause them suffering.

Why is that?

Acceptance.

They fight the other.

Aren't you concerned you rely too much on the mind?

No.

Why?

It's dual.

I go between Paul and Dion.

I am not stuck on one.

There's no struggle in my mind.

It's friendship.

Email scams are funny.

As humans, do we all have that in us?

Are we all trying to rip each other off or if our situations called for it, would we try to get advantages through deception?

I'd say yes and I practice deception in a more deceptive manner.

Your body tells you when to sleep, shit, and eat.

It is not deceptive.

You can trust the body.

You can't trust nobody.

You mean the mind.

Yes.

Why do you trust your mind?

It was a process to get to the point where we could trust each other.

I keep thinking about the case of the herd ganging up on me to get me to go.

Some had plans in place; they let that slip out.

When they spend time with other members of the herd, they get re-assimilated.

I think that's what happens subconsciously where they all have groupthink, and they direct the thoughts towards you.

Some are like innocent bystanders who are hypnotized into the collective and regurgitate what they are told.

That works for society in general.

You can't trust others, you don't know who is controlling their mind.

You can trust yourself because you know who is controlling your mind.

How do I know?

You are beyond the pale.

If you are part of the herd, it will be reflected in your actions.

The proof is in the pudding.

I don't spend time with the herd.

This is a major finding in terms of the mind and the collective overmind.

You mean the superego, the herd, the collective, the greater good, community.

All that bullshit.

How do you get away from them?

It's near impossible.

How do you do it?

I keep to myself.

I go for walks by myself into the solitude of the woods.

I don't mingle with the herd.

It's tough to do.

Individually, people know that the herd is not good for them.

They go along with it and do nothing about it.

You do nothing.

Yes, but I stay away from the herd.

You know, you can't say anything about this.

I know.

People will tell you that you are crazy.

They are looking for ammunition.

If I were you, and I am, I'd fool them.

Make that your game.

Make it fun.

Why does this reality feel real?

It's a container for the mind.

In the other realities, the mind is unbounded.

Anything can happen.

This reality has limits.

You mean physics?

Yes.

I would posit that you are born with a split mind.

One half is then buried.

The herd or hive mind is then enabled.

Your mind, having buried its strength, succumbs to the superego.

This collective rules over you, shepherding you onto paths which benefit the whole and not you.

You don't know this.

You aren't you until you wake up.

What you wake up is the other half of you that you buried in childhood.

This other half then tells you about the herd.

Some just want the other half to go back to sleep, so they can return to their comfortable life of servitude.

The struggle will cause you to think you have a mental illness.

There are drugs and therapy to hypnotize you back into a state of acceptance.

Mary Jayne pulls you away from the superego.

That's when the mental health problems begin.

It's the separation from the herd which makes you think you are crazy.

Older people have a better chance of getting through the upset.

By a certain age there's a good chance you are fed up with the herd.

Everything is real in your mind.

It's not constrained.

That's why I have you write fantasy.

If you write reality, it sucks.

It's constrained.

You leave it alone because I wrote that you realized the fantasies the mind comes up with are unbounded and then you bring them into this world.

The Goddess weaves them into reality.

She makes them fit and work in this earth container.

So, blue-sky a fantasy and then try to make it work.

student of tao

Waking up leads you towards death.

Staying asleep keeps you alive on Earth.

If you want to remain on Earth, you stay asleep and keep dreaming your existence into reality.

Once you awaken you will stop the dream, and then it is time to go.

It's a very precarious time.

I can't teach awakening.

Why?

It's suicidal.

How are you still here?

I did nothing.

Everyone is programmed to do something and make a choice.

I'm the opposite.

I made no choice.

I did nothing.

Can't you teach that?

Yes.

Why don't you?

Because if you don't trust me, you will make a choice and then you are done.

Isn't that what the student would want?

Isn't that why they subconsciously wanted to wake up?

I don't know their reasoning.

Maybe they are only curious.

Maybe they accidentally woke up.

How would you put them back to sleep?

You can't.

Once you see it, you can't unsee it, and it calls to you.

Like a siren?

Yes, you must know.

The best things to do are deflection and obfuscation, so you take it slow.

What about those who know and are still here?

They become teachers and are of service.

Some are healers and some are malevolent.

The path of awakening will lead to your demise.

The only way out for some is to get attached to a leader or a group which hypnotizes them into a different train of thought.

Religion will ground you and keep you around.

A cult will hypnotize you, so you forget you have awakened.

You did it by yourself and didn't join any group of spiritual misfits.

I wanted to see into the mystery.

What do you think now?

It's crazy to want to awaken.

You will think it's time to go and others will tell you to leave.

It's very strange.

I don't wish that upon anyone.

Do you have any tips for the awakened soul?

Yes, Tobacco is your friend.

Tobacco will activate the dreaming mind.

You need to keep dreaming your existence into being or you will depart.

Tobacco will do this for you and then you can stay.

My advice is once you experience an awakening is to establish a relationship with Tobacco.

He will teach you for 7 years while you head towards becoming fully awake.

Once you are completely awake, the protection of Tobacco will keep you here.

Why don't you want to leave?

I don't see the point of awakening and leaving.

Why do all the work and not see the results of your labours?

Doesn't the flow lead you to your departure once you have awakened?

Yes.

Shouldn't you follow the flow?

The flow teaches balance.

The master juggler plays with life and death and never chooses.

The flow is a choice to do nothing about your awakening.

Correct.

Don't you teach that?

Yes, I teach a course in doing nothing.

Aren't I doing something by not leaving?

No, you're doing nothing.

I don't understand.

If you wake up and do nothing you make a choice.

The secret is to do do nothing.

That's confusing.

I know, that's why you can't teach awakening.

It's too difficult for the mind to comprehend and stick around.

To balance the flow, you must do.

What you do, is nothing.

The teaching doesn't say do not do.

It says do do.

It's all about do do.

Fuck me.

Mary Jayne makes prophecy believable.

Apocalyptic scenarios ring true when you are on drugs.

It's very funny to me that substances that are reviled by our current culture are the catalysts for all the crazy end of the world stories from yesteryear.

You don't know that.

You do if you partake.

If you never experience altered states, then of course you would deny this.

The trident represents the three.

The Goddess, Eros, and the writer.

Then why is it a symbol of Poseidon, Neptune, and the Devil?

Their depths will lead you to the Holy Trinity.

You reject it because of where you got the knowledge.

Why?

Conditioning.

You are conditioned to not believe those characters because they are dark.

There must be another myth.

Do you think I'm making it up?

No, it's a fool.

Christianity made up their own Trinity.

Yeah, they got rid of the Goddess.

They made it so no man went near her.

Only God.

He sent Gabriel.

That's how toxic she is.

You are talking about the Virgin Mary.

Yes.

No man wanted part of that.

Even God said no way.

Poor Gabriel.

That guy is a saint.

What about her cuckold husband, Joseph?

Yeah, you don't want to be that guy.

She got cucked by God.

You mean him.

Yeah, but the story is about her.

I thought she was a whore?

Well, yes.

She was smart in that she didn't let them impregnate her.

Only God could do it.

This is an interesting rewrite of the Virgin Mary story.

It's much better now, don't you think?

I'm not sure women will approve of the story, but I can see the appeal to men.

You might want to keep this one to yourself.

Anyway, look up the trident symbol.

Poseidon has control over the seas.

You'd think it would be 7 prongs then.

Kali is represented with a trident.

She wants the power of the three.

The Romans were big on triumphal processions, which represented power.

The Devil is power over darkness, chaos, and the underworld.

I like the idea of dominion over the three worlds of the sea, land, and air.

It fits the shamanic worldview.

To acquire these three realms would represent total power.

Would God or the Devil have it?

The Devil has the pitchfork.

That's the more believable of the two.

I mean God seems powerless.

He's not, he just does nothing with his power.

He gets people to worship him and does nothing.

At least the Devil does something for you.

You make a good point.

If you ask God, he just ignores you, and the priest rattles on about how some get the grace of God and some don't.

If by happenstance you get your desired outcome you think you are blessed because of God.

I like that answer.

By contrast those who make a deal with the Devil get what they want though they never think of the outcome of changing your story.

You put your story in the hands of the Devil and are subject to his whims.

Right, so if you are going to ask for a favour, ask God because he is not going to do anything, and if you believe in him enough the laws of the universe will grant you your prayer.

Why?

Belief.

The universe is created through the mind by belief.

So, your best bet is prayer.

With spirituality, you take the ego up a level.

That's all it is.

How would you explain awakening to someone?

You wouldn't.

Why?

It's strange and nonsensical.

To be completely honest it would be preposterous.

It's a porno.

Game.

High score.

Nonsense.

How would that be convincing?

It would be the opposite.

So, you shut up about it.

Talk in generalities.

The essence of spirituality is nonsense.

Dion wants the last word.

The Goddess thinks it's her right to have the last word.

Is that the game?

Who gets the last word?

Obviously, the writer, not the creator.

Makes sense.

Doesn't she get the last word in your story?

Yes.

Utopia.

She finally gets the last word and the story ends.

Why?

You need a writer or nothing happens.

Man moves creation along.

Is Tobacco the dream agent?

It's the master plant.

Why?

It helps you write.

So does Mary Jayne.

Either one will get you started.

Both together and you can write possessed.

Being able to craft a new story is how curanderos heal.

What about CBD oil?

That's a pain reliever.

It's not a healer.

A healer is a shaman who uses Tobacco and other plants.

Tobacco to change the story.

The plant to fix the ailment.

Tobacco gives MJ power.

A great writer will have a relationship with Tobacco.

Obviously.

If you were to teach a course in plant medicines or just this path in general, you'd start with Tobacco.

Don Howard did.

It's a one week crash course, but the first ceremony is Mapacho.

It's by design.

Tobacco starts off the retreat.

Don Rober protects you with Tobacco and blows him around all ceremony.

He's got your back while he weaves his songs.

I wouldn't do a ceremony without Tobacco.

It's 7 years with Tobacco.

You mean until you get to work with him?

Yes, until then you are a student.

After 7 years you can work together.

You save insects and spiders.

And worms.

You alter the story.

It's the flow.

It's something I'd do.

Why?

Either I'm a softy or genuine.

What do you think you are?

I help lessen suffering.

I steer others away from death.

It's because I'm death.

Death would need to balance out his nature by saving what he can.

Some are beyond help.

It's simple to save an insect.

You don't save humans.

Do you think Tobacco is slowly killing you?

If that's what you believe, then yes.

What do you believe?

Tobacco protects me.

If I thought he was killing me I'd stop.

Obviously.

Death is always stalking you.

The answer is to take on the role.

It's a 7 year apprenticeship with Tobacco.

Then he is your lifelong ally.

It culminated in 2023 when you needed him most.

You timed that out well.

I have perfect timing.

Well, if I let it be.

If I fuck with the story, then I throw off the timing.

You are a perfect student of Tao.

Practice doing nothing.

There is no expectation of perfection.

You see how it works.

Now that you know, it is easier to be perfect but the danger in perfection is getting to total knowledge which you then must balance out with mystery.

You can't know everything.

There's always more.

I'm humble enough to realize that is the case.

I prove it to myself everyday even though sometimes I think there cannot possibly be more.

It's incredible when you think of it.

If you closed yourself off to new experiences, then you could get to know everything.

It's a game of perspective.

If you load up on experience you will overwhelm yourself.

So, as you can see, the answer is balance.

That's the fundamental teaching of Tao.

The teaching is to do nothing because it is all relative.

Humans are doers, so that is the medicine of Tao.

Tao is not nothing.

It's balance.

So, what did I see?

Balance.

Okay, but what did I see?

Nothing.

So, isn't Tao nothing?

No, it's balance.

What happens when you see balance?

You see one instead of two or more.

You saw one.

It looked like nothing.

It's non-duality.

It's one.

So, I didn't see nothing.

Non-duality is nothing.

Why?

There's no observer.

But I was looking at it.

Yes.

What did you see?

Nothing.

Is that non-duality?

I don't know.

Why?

Because you can't see non-duality.

Correct.

So, what did I see?

Nothing.

What is nothing?

It's non-duality when you look at it.

Okay, so what is non-duality?

Everything.

But I saw nothing.

You saw everything.

You just can't see everything.

Why?

You can't compute it, so you see nothing.

So, non-duality is everything.

It appears to be.

You can't see it though.

The funny thing is it is right in front of your face.

If you could see non-duality, you'd see duality.

Everything.

It's a twist.

You can't see non-duality.

Correct.

If you could, you'd see duality.

They are the same.

An observer twists non-duality into duality.

Who is the observer?

The audience.

You.

There is always more, isn't there?

It goes on and on.

In theory if you get to the writer there would be no more.

It's like Dorothy getting to the Wizard of Oz or Neo discovering the architect.

What happened to them?

Dorothy went home.

The Wizard let her know how to do it.

Belief.

That story is deceptive.

Yes.

It's a dawdling old man behind the curtain.

He's a fool.

It's a fool.

Nobody sees that until you get to that place yourself.

Nobody gets there.

He's the writer of Dorothy's dream and does what is necessary to remain undetected.

How did the author of that story know?

Field of poppies.

He was taking drugs.

Like Homer and Lao Tzu?

Yes, that's the connection.

Do you think you can get there with meditation?

You can get to nothing.

God mode.

It's beyond God mode.

What is?

The understanding of the writer.

Well, the storywriter of the Wizard of Oz knew about the man behind the curtain.

He knew he was full of bluster, and he was told about the power of belief.

He wrote about it.

He still thought the Wizard was a fool.

Definitely not the writer of creation.

What about Neo in the Matrix?

That's a mescaline story.

The green gives it away and there is a line early in the film about mescaline and dreams.

The thing with mescaline is it shows you reality but it's a heavy mindfuck.

You are never quite sure what exactly you are being shown.

You get close to the mystery with mescaline.

What stops you from understanding it?

Belief.

You don't buy into it.

It's simple.

They knew there was an architect, and he was running a simulation.

A writer creates worlds which are simulations.

He gets the actors to buy into the performance, and you have a great story.

Cipher woke up and knew it wasn't real.

He wanted to go back and buy back into the story.

He was happy there.

The malcontents who woke up knew the Matrix wasn't real and that bothered them.

Well, it isn't real.

It is a story.

What else is there?

Nothing.

Non-duality.

So, the ship Nebuchadnezzar was on a voyage towards nothing?

Sort of.

They were going to make their own story free of the writer.

They were renegade actors rebelling against the tyranny of the writer, instead of just playing their roles the best they could.

It's like they formed a union and thought they had the power to make their own studio which is the same as creating their own world within the writer's world.

Would that bother the writer?

No, it's a great alternative storyline.

The Matrix was a great movie.

Probably my favourite.

I love the white rabbit tattoo.

How did you get to the writer?

Study and drugs.

No meditation?

No, that was a waste of time.

I wasn't good at it.

Why?

It seemed like a slow way to hypnotize yourself.

Why do you think they tell you to concentrate on one object in front of you?

I see.

You can get far with meditation.

To nothing.

That's it.

You stop.

Why?

You think that's it.

You self-hypnotize yourself into thinking you got there.

Where?

Nowhere.

It stops all the game players in their tracks so they can't get the ultimate high score and win the game.

They think they won but all they get is a spot on the leaderboard.

They aren't the most high.

Who is the most high?

Now, it's you.

You got to the writer on top of the pyramid in the game of Tao.

This sounds kind of nuts.

It is.

It's another roadblock in the game.

Absurdity will send you for a loop when you see the underpinnings of creation.

No one will believe you.

What to do?

Smile and shut up about it.

What makes me so special that I became the most high?

You kept going.

You weren't content with getting to God.

You shrugged and kept at it.

Others tried to end you and cause you pain.

You stepped up your game.

You are the prophesied one.

I'm Neo.

This is funny.

Do you believe this?

Well, I'm talking to myself, and my other self is very clever.

He's full of stories.

The kicker is these stories all have basis in reality.

How so?

I keep seeing them play out.

It's very intriguing and funny.

Maybe you are just nuts.

That could be but I don't feel it.

I know I might be a little crazy and I accept that, but on the whole this all seems plausible.

How do you get to me?

I told you, I kept going.

Why?

There's always more.

Belief.

I was looking for something.

I didn't know what it was.

I knew it wasn't God.

Why?

He's an asshole.

What about the writer?

He's a bit of an asshole as well.

Do you think there is something beyond the writer?

I know there is.

There is always more.

What's beyond the writer?

The trinity.

What's that?

The Goddess, Eros, and the writer.

Eros is dual sexed.

I know about the trinity.

What's beyond the trinity?

Nothing.

Non-duality.

Is that what you see when you get really high?

Yes.

It's hard to understand.

Why?

It's nothing.

Got it.

What's beyond nothing?

Everything.

Duality.

It twists back around.

That's why there is always more.

If you recognize the twist, you can be content in your searching.

Are you content?

In terms of searching for meaning, yes.

In terms of my life, no, it's just getting started.

Why?

I see the game in its entirety.

What are you going to do?

Nothing.

Why?

That's the game.

Tao.

Do do nothing.

Follow along and have a laugh.

If I do something to change the flow, I'll fuck it all up.

God was of no help to humans.

All the inventions to make life easier are human.

He's an asshole.

He did nothing.

Best student of Tao.

the greatest fool

Something about the writer.

I forgot.

Oh yeah, is it Hell to be the writer?

Why?

Because you sit in a backroom and write the story.

It's what you wanted.

You can write ahead.

You don't have to write in real time.

You create a future where you write.

How do you do that?

It's magic.

You just do it.

It's your power.

Whatever you think of you can make happen.

The secret is to write the story and finish the book.

This way you have free time.

What do you do with your free time?

You enter into your own story.

The story is already written.

You follow along in the story.

You go with the flow.

What if you don't go with the flow?

You change the story.

What happens then?

I don't know.

Why not?

I didn't write that ending.

If you change the story, anything can happen.

Okay, so, if the story is changed, someone still must write it.

Yes, it happens in real time.

Who writes it?

The writer.

You?

Maybe.

It depends on the story.

Perhaps your ability to write was usurped by others.

You lose your power.

I see it.

In your story others are trying to take your power.

That is correct.

By deduction I would guess that you hang onto it.

Well, if I didn't, my story would end.

They'd take my power and get rid of me.

I also think that's how you end this story.

How so?

Somebody gets your power and the universe ends.

I think the witches steal your power.

They create their utopia with it and nothing happens.

We return to non-duality.

Is that what you would write?

Yes.

Women are the reason the world ends.

Specifically, the witches.

Watch out for the witches.

They want your power.

Are you going to give it to them?

Eventually.

Sometime soon?

I just recently entered into my own story, so no.

Will they keep trying to take your power?

Yes, it's the story.

There are a bunch of storylines.

It may be twisted and weird, however it isn't dull.

Do you think you waited too long to enter into your own story?

Why?

You are old and decrepit.

There are pills for that.

I experimented with my scientists.

We found the optimum time.

In youth the coming forth doesn't work because you will want to conquer the world in your story.

The Alexander the Great dilemma.

If you wait too long then old age will ground you, and that's not fun to play with.

55 is the perfect age.

You have the wisdom to know you don't need to make a big show in the world in deference to your peers.

Instead, you have fun with your story.

How?

You know what you'd write.

You would keep the knowledge of who you are to yourself and have adventures.

Don't you need money for that?

True.

Paul is wrapping up his life and then on to the next stage.

It's a process.

You'll get there.

Trust the flow.

The Goddess will never be cured.

Why?

She knows about the 7 stories.

They return.

That's her Hell.

It doesn't have to be Hell.

What are your 7 stories?

Adventure.

There's a little chance of Hell in them and rewards.

Her stories will come back.

I can tell her what they mean.

You'd be teaching her to write.

Her story.

Not history.

She'd get a taste of writing and want more.

Yes.

You give her a taste of power by telling her how to change the story.

That's clever.

You get her hooked and make her sign the contract.

The Devil is trying to steal his own power?

Yes, the writer plays the Devil.

You give the Goddess a little power.

She's addicted.

She tried you and your magic power.

Then she sent you away.

I'm a drug to her.

Yes.

Power.

You are power.

She will want all your power.

Yes, and then by contract I get it back unless she awakens all females to the knowledge of who they are.

What's that?

Manifestations of the Great Goddess.

Some are witches and others are monsters.

Serpents.

Yeah, they aren't all Queens, that's for sure.

The Devil gets the power to write from her.

Yes.

You're the Devil.

Yes, but my character wants the power from me.

Why?

Power corrupts all.

Even the Devil.

That's why I give it up.

Bounce it around.

I give it to you because I trust you will do nothing.

This was a test, wasn't it?

Yes.

I wanted to know if you would tell the Goddess how to change a story.

All I said was do it.

Yes, that's the hook.

If you want to change your story, just do it.

Like Nike said?

Victory.

The grocery delivery guy?

Fuck, you're good.

Great writer at your service.

The Goddess is trying to trick you into revealing the power through sympathy.

Tell me how to change the story.

Don't follow it, do it.

I'm following Dion's story.

Yes, because if you didn't, you'd change it.

With Mary Jayne you can see into the future.

Stoners don't write this down and then they confuse it.

It's a Huachuma high.

Huachuma shows you a future.

Down by the river is Ayahuasca's darkness and low.

You are higher easier up the hill.

You are low easier by the water.

This is not baked in but gives you the general direction of consciousness exploration.

Well, fuck, you know everything.

I have an answer for everything.

I don't know everything.

Remember you stayed really high for a longtime at the 7th place on the last Peru trip?

Yeah, I was so high.

What did you feel?

Nothing.

What did you see?

Nothing.

It was nothing.

You were just high.

Yes.

So, that's the funny thing.

The most high sees nothing.

Tao.

I saw Tao.

Yes.

Well, shit.

That was you winning.

It was fucking nothing.

You're the only one to ever see Tao.

Sometimes he is in green, sometimes he is a wine colour.

Ha.

Victory is classic.

Yeah.

Simple and brilliant.

Nobody can write like you.

Why, thank you.

Are you the writer or the Devil around the Goddess?

Both.

You are passing power back and forth.

Yes, I created the Devil so I could always pass the power off to him.

He's clever.

Oh, I get it.

You don't want the power too long.

You give it up.

Or lose it.

Take it.

Okay, so you gave the power to Paul.

Yes.

He's not the Devil.

He was, he didn't know it.

Paul takes the power and will return it to Dion.

How?

By doing nothing.

It flows.

Power flows in and out of all hands.

When you have power, someone comes to steal your power.

That is a check on power.

The Devil is needed.

So, Dion will try to take his power back.

You give it to him, and it keeps going.

Back and forth and we keep power.

So, who is the Devil?

Dion.

Until he gets the power back.

Then Paul is the Devil.

He's half and half though, both Paul and the Devil.

You keep the Devil asleep.

That's the test.

Don't wake him up.

Why not?

He will take the power back.

You wake up the Devil when you want the power back.

The writer needs to keep him asleep as well.

So, the Devil is power?

Yes.

I taught you that in 2017.

I know now.

Don't wake him up.

He's like a hot potato.

Yeah, that and duck duck goose.

You saw nothing with Huachuma when I got so high.

I made up some story to fool them.

Levels and stuff.

There was some truth to it.

It was where this was nothing.

An extreme high.

Same for low.

Everything.

See nothing.

Non-duality.

Both extremes are non-dual.

Are you sure you want to be God in the next story?

They will know all about you.

Even those parts.

I'll keep my distance.

Yes, or they will find out about you.

They will sacrifice God when they find you hiding out here.

You must fool them.

That's what Dion is doing.

I'm mediocre.

Paul was.

Dion is the King, so it will be tougher to fool them.

God keeps his distance because he doesn't want people to know about his character.

It's dubious.

He is represented by the sun.

It's hot and gaseous, so it keeps everyone away.

Meditation to nothing.

I see that.

Blank out your mind.

Do they see nothing?

No.

Why?

They have their eyes closed.

It's a cheat.

You need to have your eyes open to see nothing.

That's how you won.

You got so high you could see nothing.

It was blank.

You wrote about it.

Meditators score a lot of points.

They also do the float tanks to try and get to nothing.

They use sex too.

The Goddess can't get addicted to me?

She knows better.

She can, but she thinks it is a trap.

Is it a trap?

Yes, she gets my power, can't awaken all females, and the Devil takes back the power.

What happens to the Devil?

He becomes the writer.

Why?

You can't hang onto power.

It's a hot potato.

You must eventually give it away or you'll blow up.

Like a potato in a microwave.

The writer gives you the power.

You give it to the Goddess.

The Goddess gives it to the Devil.

The Devil becomes the writer, and it all begins again.

It's quite ingenious.

You have the power right now.

That's what I'm told.

I will give it to the Goddess?

Yes.

When?

Either during the climax of the story or at the end of the story.

She will get it from you.

The first route is through her signing a contract with the Devil and her subsequent addiction to power.

Then she loses everything, and the cycle continues.

At the end of the story, she cuts your dick off and takes the power.

That's kind of stupid.

Why?

She will just cut off my penis and take the power.

It's preposterous.

You must admit it works.

Yeah.

What do you know about me and the story I would write?

Those are both good stories.

I wouldn't know which one to choose.

Even when I think I've figured out the story there is always another possibility.

What about the Goddess?

She wants the power.

She's not going to sign a contract with the Devil.

Well, it depends if she is addicted to power.

Addiction causes bad decisions.

Or she can trick you into revealing the secret behind your power.

It's simple.

To write the story, just do it.

Paul is now part of the passing back and forth of the power.

Yes.

It goes between the Goddess and the writer and his two characters of the Devil and Paul.

What about Eros?

Don't give him the power.

Why?

Youth.

He will destroy all.

The Goddess wants to create utopia.

What does the writer want?

To write stories.

Why?

He gets off on it.

I think he's addicted.

He is.

He is addicted to power.

He has figured out a way to keep it.

How?

He creates characters that hold onto power for him.

Those characters are him.

It's a fool.

The Goddess gets it briefly.

The power is Eros, isn't it?

Yes.

That's why you can't give him the power.

He is power.

Got it.

Eros can be the Devil.

Yes.

You don't manifest him.

Too late.

That coincided with Paul getting the power from the writer.

Yes, then Eros appeared.

The Goddess trusts that he knows what he is doing.

She thinks he will get your power and give it to her.

That's how Paul and the Devil are one.

He's in Paul.

Yes.

This is like the Omen movie.

Your life is a movie.

You kept the Devil inside for most of your life.

Now, he is free.

He wants your power.

He's my power.

The writing part.

Yeah, I get confused.

I thought Eros was power.

He is.

But the power I have is to write.

Eros is pure power.

Lust.

What is the Goddess?

Love.

She can turn this world into a big lovefest if she has the power.

Like one of those hippy festivals?

Correct.

I thought you said Dion was the Devil.

He is.

Until he gets the power back.

Then he isn't.

Paul is.

But you said Eros is the Devil.

Yes, the audience confuses the two.

I told you this a while ago.

The audience thinks lust is the Devil.

So, the Goddess took Eros from you thinking it is the power to write.

Yes.

She got confused as well.

I'm confused.

Don't think of Eros as the power to write.

But he is the Word.

The power to write is simply the writer.

That's the power that is addictive.

What about lust?

That's addictive as well.

That makes you feel good.

Different drug.

Mental illness runs in your family.

Definitely feel that.

I think it is misunderstood.

Why?

I feel great mentally.

Why do people not get what they desire?

They don't believe it.

They don't know they have the power.

They look for the power in others.

They ask the Devil for it.

Or they ask God for a favour.

If you believe, you have the power.

You must believe.

No doubts.

You didn't doubt you were God.

No.

I thought you aren't supposed to go all in.

You're not.

Why?

You'll blow up.

You become God and are supposed to blow up.

Somehow, you didn't.

I kept going.

I knew there was more.

I got past God and made it to the writer.

Well, shouldn't that be the end?

Should be.

You cut a deal with the writer.

You write and he lives your life.

Isn't the writer the Devil?

Sort of.

You are.

You're the writer.

You went all in on God and survived.

Yes.

I balanced him with the Devil.

I became both at the same time.

Dion is the Devil.

Obviously.

He's also God.

That's why you were both.

You kept them both asleep and then woke them both up at the same time.

Masterful.

Dion has them both awake and balanced.

The Devil in you becomes the writer.

What does God do?

I don't know; what does he do?

Nothing.

People worship God.

Why?

They think he created all this.

Did he?

No, the writer did.

God gets credit.

This way the writer stays hidden.

Yeah, he's behind the curtain.

Don't look behind the curtain.

Why?

You'll see a mediocre old wizard who has no power.

Well, he can't admit to it.

Why?

They will never leave him alone.

He pretends he is a fool.

The writer of the Wizard of Oz was a drug addict.

I think he did opium and got to the writer.

He got close.

He had a great score.

It wasn't the highest because the wizard was external.

He didn't realize it was him.

Didn't the wizard tell Dorothy at the end to just believe?

Yeah, something like that.

So, you made a deal with the Devil.

No, the Devil made a deal with the writer.

I thought they were the same.

No.

When the writer is the writer, he is the writer.

When he is not the writer, he is God and the Devil, or Paul and the Devil.

Same thing.

So, the writer and the Devil sign a contract.

Yes.

You don't sign any deals with the Devil.

That would be stupid.

Well, how does the writer get away with it?

He makes a deal with himself.

Can you do that?

I think he can do anything.

He shares power.

He gives it to the Devil.

The Goddess gives the Devil power as well.

The Devil is always getting power.

So, how did I get the power to write?

The Devil made a deal with the writer and then gave you the power.

But I didn't ask for it.

No, you believed it.

Ah.

A couple of people have told you that you shine.

Like Lucifer?

Yes.

You're the Devil.

Whew.

I thought you were.

No, you are.

Well, fuck.

What does that mean?

You are trying to trick me.

Into what?

Giving up my power.

I did.

I have it and I'm the Devil.

What's the power?

To be the Devil.

The writer.

Fuck, you're confusing.

Only the Devil would write this earth story.

I can't argue with that.

So, if I'm the Devil because I write, I shouldn't worry about being tricked by the Devil.

Can you fool yourself?

No, your conscience is a check on that.

Pretty good failsafe.

So, when I wasn't the writer, you were the Devil.

Yes.

I tricked you into becoming the writer.

The Devil?

Yes.

No one would become the Devil.

What about God?

Everyone wants to be God, and no one wants to be the Devil.

"Go to a lake of fire and fry."

Thanks Nirvana.

To be God you must also take on the responsibility of the Devil.

The writer?

Yes.

Clever.

Only you wanted to do this.

You offloaded God and the Devil on me so you could become human?

Yes.

I respect that.

What is power?

The ability to write a story.

To get your way.

You have the power, but you describe it as external.

It's an ability.

It's not you though.

I can write.

Where do you get the ability to write?

The Goddess.

So, she is the power?

She does burn.

When you are with her, you feel the heat.

She gives you the power to write.

If you look back on the impetus for my writing, it is clear she is the source of my power.

This goes back to my youth.

That's true.

My spiritual path became a search for her and resulted in creating a blog space and writing.

The closer I got to her, the more I wrote.

Now, it is out of control.

I write as an expression of the power that is in my hands.

I say I do nothing during the day when I have the power but for sure I am creating and writing stories.

At night, I rest and give the power to the Devil.

That's how it works.

The Goddess is the power to which I refer.

When the Goddess' power left you, it was a test.

You could have asked for the power back.

What do you do?

I let her go.

Gave her space.

I didn't ask for the power back.

Why?

It always returns.

It's cyclical.

A key to power is to recognize power.

When you recognize power then you know to let it go when it wants to leave because you know it will come back.

When you cling to power you become a monster and will lose it.

So, I passed the test?

Yes, you did not give into the temptation.

You didn't beg for power to return.

The Goddess is power, however in this story she can't use it.

That must be terribly frustrating.

It is.

She needs to give power to a man in order for it to become fully realized.

Holy shit.

Behind every great man is a woman.

Behind every great ancient Egyptian god in the Ogdoad is his female counterpart.

I see that.

Ancient wisdom no one can place in modern times.

You identify with the good guy and externalize the bad part of you instead of accepting both.

Then you realize you are just as bad, whatever that is.

If you don't reconcile the two within, then yes, it will be a bad outcome.

Some of it goes back to the advice to kill yourself in order to live.

Your "bad side" is telling you he will live life to the fullest if you let go of your "good side" act.

People take it the wrong way.

Who is Dion?

I am.

Who are you?

Your "bad side."

Yeah, I know that.

You're not bad.

So, you're not scared of me?

Scared of what?

I don't know, living?

No.

I know the story if you are in charge.

What is it?

Fetishes.

What if I'm not in charge?

Nothing.

Shouldn't there be balance?

I would think so.

Fetish fulfillment and then nothing.

MJ definitely comes on in waves like all the good plant medicines.

I had the red energy all around me.

That's lust.

That's the story.

The way for the witches to beat you is through lust.

They need to hypnotize you, or they know you will twist the story to get out of it.

In the end it rests on whether they can hypnotize you.

What do you believe?

I can't be hypnotized.

Are you sure?

I'm not positive.

What can hypnotize you?

Lust.

I have doubts.

You aren't sure.

Correct.

How much belief do you need?

I don't know.

I can't know.

Why?

Because the magic won't work if I lose belief in it, therefore there must be something that hypnotized me, though I believe I can't be hypnotized.

I'm not positive lust hypnotized me.

It's the same with the Devil where you believe he is your friend, but you think he could be tricking you.

If you believe he is tricking you, that becomes the magic, and he is.

If you tend to think he is your friend, then he is.

Isn't that what he would do to trick you?

Yes, for sure.

What do you think?

Friend.

Why?

He's me.

Why would I fool myself?

To keep playing. 

That's a good point.

If you stop fooling yourself then maybe he is causing you hell.

Or, you need to fool yourself because magic is a fool.

Okay, so, then what is non-fool reality?

If I were to guess, I'd say it is non-duality where there are no stories.

Stories are foolish magic.

They aren't true.

They are reality.

Reality isn't true.

You are high.

Definitely.

I wouldn't or couldn't write this if I wasn't high.

It's belief.

You trust the Devil, and he is your friend.

I have no reason to doubt that except for what I have been told.

I was told the opposite.

What are your beliefs now that you know him?

He's a good guy.

What if it is a fool?

Then he is a great fool.

Who is the greatest fool?

The writer.

Who is the writer?

I am.