Monday, June 25, 2018


I wonder just how much capacity we have to create our own reality? I have been having these thoughts that could make a pretty good short story in that at some point I exited someone else's world that kept me in bondage and formed my own reality. My actor would then become latent or dead in someone else's reality and I would then direct my own play through intention. Or perhaps it is a gradual process where you take control of your own destiny? I think part of this thinking is that my life does seem to have headed in a direction I think deep down was my greatest desire. As a kid I could remember wanting to figure it all out. I veered off that path many times but a power kept me coming back to that path. In the last two months I have had two dreams in particular that I was sure they weren't dreams while I was in the midst of them. In a dream last week I drank Huachuma and was tripping in my dream. It was similar to having a sexual dream where though it was all an act of mentation it feels very real. In waking reality I have to actually drink Huachuma or physically participate in a sex act but in the dreaming reality there is an image or manifestation of it and the effects are then felt by my body which is lying there in a sleeping/hypnotic stage. How do I know if right now this isn't all some construct as well? I do feel sensation, it feels real, and maybe all these actors in my reality are putting on an impeccable show but I do think I am capable of creating and maintaining this world through mental processes.

Monday, June 18, 2018

language as a spell

I think you are right, err I think you are correct. Ever notice how language makes you think always in terms of 'I' self, right, and objects? Language puts a spell over thinking. Thinking is very useful but needs to be treated as something you do and not do.

It is so curious why the left is denigrated and a spell is put over us so that we will by instinct choose the right hand path. The advertising industry would be proud of this accomplishment. Looking into the roots of this conundrum it is discovered that the left is associated with the word sinister and those familiar with the 'sin' in sinister will immediately connect this to the moon. The moon has feminine qualities and the sun, the righteous among us, are connected with the right hand path. In ancient Egypt there are the ubiquitous eyes and the left eye of Horus depicts the moon as it waxes and wains, attacked by the forces of darkness, becomes divided, and then is renewed eternally into a wholeness once again. The right eye is the eye of Re and is the path of the sun. The feminine is denigrated in masculine religious constructs, the left hand path is treated with disdain and called sinister, and the ultra achievers of our spiritual disciplines are called the righteous. What is being hushed up?

The construct of the ancient Pre Columbian Mesa of the Chavin temple is three fold.

three fold Huachuma Mesa

The left represents the life giving feminine, the right side is the life taking masculine, and in the middle we find a reconciliation of these opposites to find wholeness. Our western society is not whole in that the feminine is not given her proper place and language casts a spell over any attempts to do so. The third time I ever drank ayahuasca at the end of the ceremony I was presented with these two opposite paths as I stepped outside the ceremonial maloca. Though it was past midnight, to my right I saw the jungle lit up in shining splendour. The plants were 3D extruded and the whole scene was very inviting and welcoming. To my left the jungle was dull, dark, and flat. I looked back to my right - shiny, and then back to the left - dull. I remarked to myself that the right hand path is sure shiny. Why this Vegasesque allure of the right hand path combined with a hypnotic spell perpetrated by constructs of language?

Here's my speculative answer: the cyclical highs and lows are on the right path, they go together, and presumably at some point you'd tire of that; well I guess you call that old age but perhaps that is the spice of being alive, maybe this great game of forgetfulness we all play is to experience all the right hand path has to offer and then we eventually tire of the merry go round and say no more for now thank you. We follow the left hand path back to wholeness and unity and then eventually we want to play again and so we create another world, head on into that, and hide the mystery so we won't figure it out too quick. And within this construct my game of seeking the answers to these mysteries is no more valid than someone on a quest to sample all the beers of the world.

Language is a reflection of the culture we live in and the beliefs society is structured upon. Somewhere in my indoctrination I was taught that my thoughts have to be filtered through language. All my higher thinking and speculation is accomplished through language and because of this all is tainted with the stench of the values my ancestors thought were important. It is as if I need to train myself to bypass language and delve into the worlds of symbols, archetypes, feelings, music, and art to try and express what it is I am cognizant of and feeling.

Take the phrase "it doesn't matter" which puts down something as not real and trivial. The language spell has tied it into the word matter so we think that what is 'real' is matter. So when we investigate matter and can't find anything concrete concerning matter and discover instead it is a bunch of vibrations woven into something that resembles what we call an an object we get all concerned because our world view can't handle it. See how it works? The game we are playing has convinced us our existence is really real and serious when it is not. It's transient and illusory. That's not to say we can't take it seriously or shirk responsibility however it is incredibly liberating to realize that it really doesn't matter!

Monday, June 11, 2018

character actor

The word character is a favourite of mine especially when used to describe someone's behaviour. Why? It's because a character is someone playing a part, a role, in some kind of drama. Our personal character that we develop is based on choices we make throughout life that become consistent to the point that you can be depended on to exhibit that behaviour. But it is all an act! It's just some game you are playing and you can change it at any time and play another role. But then the people who 'know' you will think you have gone crazy and are acting out of character!

We do have choice in what game your character is going to play. Existence is essentially a game and then there are games within the game. Most characters attach to and play the culture game; it's hard not to because everyone else is participating in that one and it's very serious, please do not refer to it as a game! When you want to escape the enforced conformity and play a new game or your own game the whispers start and people ask what is wrong with you. Try it. Try not playing the game society expects of you. I stopped the politics one and barely know what's going on in the news cycle and it's very peaceful and liberating. When I check in occasionally to that game it is so ugly and rife with divisiveness, name calling, and sabre rattling. How dare I not care about politics? The game I have chosen to play is no less real than any other game, you can't convince me otherwise. It's an eye opening exercise to realize this and once you do you start peering into all the games within society, how people play certain ones, and how we are expected to all play the culture one. In addition, it seems obvious that the backbone of our 21st Century world is identity. Society is structured on rigid identities for all that is forced upon you from the moment you leave the comfort of mama's womb. Assuming a different identity will get you expelled from the banking, health, and government services sectors in short order.

Monday, June 4, 2018

Alan Watts explains the most profound concept to understand everything in one easy step

I owe a debt of gratitude to the philosopher Alan Watts. His teaching is sometimes so clear and plain that I don't even register the lesson or wisdom. I listen to the same lecture multiple times and then at some point a teaching will register within and I will have this aha! moment. It feels sometimes that I already know the concept deep down but hearing Alan explain it or put it into a metaphor evokes a strong feeling of connection to this knowledge through having experienced similar at some point.

Do YOU beat your heart? The same energy that shines the sun is beating your heart.

“So you see, if you become aware of the fact that you are all of your own body, and that the beating of your heart is not just something that happens to you, but something you're doing, then you become aware also in the same moment and at the same time that you're not only beating your heart, but that you are shining the sun. Why? Because the process of your bodily existence and its rhythms is a process, an energy system which is continuous with the shining of the sun, just like the East River, here, is a continuous energy system, and all the waves in it are activities of the whole East River, and that's continuous with the Atlantic Ocean, and that's all one energy system and finally the Atlantic ocean gets around to being the Pacific Ocean and the Indian Ocean, etc., and so all the waters of the Earth are a continuous energy system. It isn't just that the East River is part of it. You can't draw any line and say 'Look, this is where the East River ends and the rest of it begins,' as if you can in the parts of an automobile, where you can say 'This is definitely part of the generator, here, and over here is a spark plug.' There's not that kind of isolation between the elements of nature.”