I have been thinking about my direct experiences with plant medicines. I can formulate some kind of coherent view of ultimate reality based upon my explorations of consciousness. Admittedly, being ensconced in a masculine body must skew this view; however, I still think it would apply if I was of the opposite gender though I think I would probably describe it in a way that was less of an erotic relationship and more of a co-maternity. Anyway, I will try to elucidate this idea clearly as I write. Unity, the void from which everything comes forth, is essentially the Great Mother/Great Goddess. She gives birth to creation. As the mother of all, within her is the masculine polarity; so, you could really say ultimately She is a hermaphrodite, a virgin, and she gives birth via parthenogenesis. Or another way to look at it from a sexual metaphor is the feminine and masculine are locked in a passionate embrace. The subsequent energetic climax of this union results in the Big Bang which is essentially creation. The feminine is passive, represents the darkness, and is infinite consciousness and energy. She is everywhere and everything. In contrast, the masculine is active and striving, represents the light, is finite and spotlight consciousness, and has the passion to come forth enabled by infinite energy we call Eros.
All created beings are in essence masculine in that they have made the effort to appear and this is what I mean by created women containing within the masculine energy because she has come forth. Her relationship back to the Great Mother is that they both create life as opposed to any kind of an erotic relationship. Being finite, the striving masculine power has a sense then of individuation or self that in psychiatric terms eventually leads to pathology and this delusion has been given the designation "ego". The feminine origin of creation longs for reunification with the masculine power and through the universal principle of Love, and spreading of this Love, hopes to get through to the stubborn masculine in order to get him to cease his desire to come forth as a separate being and become one with her again by metaphorically stopping going against the wind, swimming upstream, while instead just going with the flow. Regardless, at physical death on a microcosmic scale, there is a return to this state of unity because the energy cycles back down into a latent state with the feminine power. Masculine energy is cyclical and feminine energy is non changing, stable, and just is. I am god in the sense I am the masculine power that came forth from the original hermaphrodite, lit up creation, conquered it, and became the Great Mother's lover and captor. She is my mother and lover (as well as teacher and healer) and what a field day for psychologists that entails! I hold this view because my interactions with the feminine power in altered states of consciousness have been for the most part erotic. In my life, She is the most erotic thing I have ever encountered and She longs for this reunification with me. She is non-judgmental, forgiving, and just seeks to be one again. If I open myself up to her She will teach me how to get out of the mess I have created for myself and teach me to Love.
I must have anticipated this longing and reunification so in my inherent masculine stubbornness, I had a desire to prevent this and have implanted within my psyche a dragon that activates upon exploration of consciousness and also externally manifests in my attempts at formulating spiritual disciplines, paths, and religions as well as grossly coming forth in outbursts of misogyny and subjugation of women. The dragon also separates and classifies my brethren in classes of race and ethnicity in order to promulgate more division, which I believe is all because of the masculine energy's desire to break free of the perpetual cycle of coming forth and the subsequent dissolution of its energy and thus remain on its own, ruling creation free of the perceived domineering wife/mother. It is a quest for eternal life for finite consciousness free of the cycle of life and death that plagues the endeavours of the masculine energy, instead of an acceptance of what is, and an opening up to Love. This quest for eternal life free of cyclical coming and going leads to more and more suffering. To achieve its aims the masculine energy has to discover and understand the power that sustains him. This is no secret. The power he is looking for is Love and Eros is the gateway. We are made of Love, powered by Love, and are defined by the Love we give. And within this discovery lies the great conundrum for the masculine: If he wants to live forever he must Love. If he Loves then his quest ends because he cannot go on once surrendering to Love. So, in defiance, on he goes searching for the secret of this power he is convinced is just untethered power free from the fount of Love.
In examining some of my struggles within plant medicine ceremonies one thing that reoccurs, is worth acknowledging, and going deeper into is this block within the masculine mind in regards to the feminine power of the mother and her ability to create which is done with a selfless and unconditional Love. We as men want to possess her, lock her away, and take over total control. When I approach the mystery and have not sufficiently tamed the ego, it will rage against the Goddess. This behaviour is projected outwards into society as a whole. Every culture subjugates women and I believe it comes from the deep down psychological impairment within the masculine who wants to dominate her and therefore it expresses this behaviour in consensus reality in this way. I label the behaviour the dragon but it's worth investigating just why the dragon acts this way. Basically, I think it is because we as men want control, well we have it, but we want total control. We want to learn and steal her power to create and history is a sad reminder of our attempts to do so. We have done unspeakable things to those who carry the light within and we have mined the mother for her secrets. We aren't to be trusted and when we discover and approach her there seems to be many tests and checkpoints to see if we are worthy to continue because we can deceive like no other.