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Monday, June 27, 2022

hell into heaven

I feel alone so I objectify my surroundings to create duality which brings the world to life. When it gets all too much, I seek out the solitary in order to get a break and rest from the madness my mind has created. Whew! What a set-up.

We objectify in order to create a carnival of delights which allow us to have an adventure. Whenever we feel alone, we begin the process all over again. Along the same line of creating, we go to sleep at night into the dark and solitary act of rest, and then we create worlds of wonder and amazement. This seems to be what we do. From the base of darkness comes the light of coming forth by day.

From dreams we can learn so much about ourselves from a psychological perspective. The dream world we craft reflects our basic fears and desires. By using dreams as a template for our lives, it sure seems the world we have arrived in is a reflection of the same process from an obfuscated dreaming mind that is unfolding as it should. We are avatars of the dreaming mind acting within the master’s dream.

The first challenge given to all challengers in the game of life is to survive and from that point we try to transcend our limiting condition. The suffering in the world compels us to seek answers, a way out, or a way to control the game. Accumulating wealth and security offer temporary relief from the condition and is achieved at the expense of the other. Once you are on to the game you can manifest all your desires to the detriment of others. This is how to create suffering.

So, how do we beat the long game of universal suffering? I can beat the culture game and be successful at the expense of others, but I want to know how do we transform hell into heaven for all?

First of all, you must realize the power of the mind to take you to heaven or hell. The mind creates the funhouse. Existence on the earth is truly the divine comedy. The mind is so fun to play with but eventually the sweet sugary goo will become all too much, and you will need a way to stop it or it will drag you down into the deepest of hells when it masters you and it’s early in our lifetime when this happens. When you die, you don't go to hell, you leave the hell you created through the mind. It's a good explanation for some instances of suicide. When you suffer and see no way out of the darkness except by killing yourself, that is a subconscious recognition you are in hell and have an innate sense of how to get out of hell. It's the secret no one is supposed to know.

It is said the mind makes a wonderful servant and a terrible master, yet for most of us the mind is the master. My mind has always been my rock and could not only get me out of any jam but ensured I would be successful at whatever I chose to do in life. I gorged on the apples at the tree of knowledge. In addition, my mind is acutely sharp. Spend some time with me and you’ll see. I’m in constant overdrive, reacting quickly and decisively to whatever is thrown my way while thinking steps ahead.

My mind became my master early in my life and contributed to my cynicism and disdain for culture. I never get depressed or down on myself for never having “made it” because I’ve always been the outsider and the contrarian. Why would I want to be successful in a world I hold in contempt? I’ve never had to prove myself. Though my mind mastered me it was never in turn mastered by culture. The prevailing culture casts spells on weak minds and sucks them into their game. Madness is spawned by culture and inculcated by not being free and I was extremely fortunate to escape this predicament. I’m never going to denigrate my mind, though as I have aged, I realized that to get to the heart, the mind must take a backseat.

I don’t think you can find truth through the turnings of the mind. Modalities that allow you to quiet the mind allow you to become the observer. Becoming aware of your capacity for pure awareness without spinning your perception through the mind seems to be a path to truth. The stark polarity between the racing mind and the morning calm of awareness is quite striking. Of course, my awareness is limited to my senses and intuition therefore the truth is always obfuscated by ignorance and as long as I’m in the vehicle of a body my capacity for truth remains governed.

Meditation is such a training exercise which will allow you to get back to observing without spinning input through your mind. It is a course in awareness, getting back to basics, and training the practitioner to not engage the mind because it is the mind that will create the reaction. The reaction will cause depression, anxiety, worry, and animosity.

The lessons of heaven and hell! Yes, this world can be hell, but it doesn't have to be. It's your choice whether you want to live in hell or heaven. Do I deny the suffering, despair, and the games of power and control that subjugate billions of souls? Is that how I get to heaven in this lifetime? Do I just look away? Well, you do the same denying regarding all the acts of giving and service in the world. You ignore the good and fixate on the bad. Ukraine is hell. Satsang with like-minded adventurers is heaven. Collectively, we were given the keys to an amoral world, and we chose to make it hell. Break free and create your heaven on earth and radiate what you have found outwards to others. It’s infectious and will create a tipping point for the world from hell to heaven one person at a time. My teacher calls it the evolution of consciousness.

Align your journey with the path of the heart. Having clarity on what just is and being of unconditional service to help the other out of the morass is a good way to walk home on this earthbound journey.

Monday, June 20, 2022

game player

This world is unique and offers a smorgasbord of delights which are designed to fulfill our desires. The world fills the appetites of those who thirst for power. The universe as conjured, allows an avenue for those who seek control to temporarily live out their dreams. And like everything else in this world it will come to an end. Nothing lasts! Another game player will get their chance at the ring.

What’s my game? I see it now. I want to be free and I talk a good game of freedom. I wonder how many spirits in the ethereal world I annoyed with my harping on about liberation? Time soon came to put up or shut up; so, not to be found out a fraud, I enrolled in the course offered on earth. So many ways to fulfill desires with the catch you have to give up freedom to chase them. I wanted the fire to be hot enough so that it burned. Thus, I could see what I was made of.

I smartly exchanged some freedom for family which has kept me from blowing out my game on vices. I see my reflection in Hunter Biden. The family deal was a good trade which allowed me to accumulate knowledge. Eventually, the knowledge transmuted into understanding and I started to see it. I saw how I held the power in my hands and could get whatever I wanted. I reached the crossroads of life where I had to decide if I wanted to fulfill my bucket list of desires or let them fall away and walk away free. The pre-incarnation agreement to see what I was made of was at hand. Could I do it? I tempted myself really good and played along for a bit but never took the step to game over. Now, I see it with clarity and can run through the consequences of my actions in a flash. I have the magic skills available to attract what I desire and so I play on the periphery, laughing at what manifests in my world.

I passed the pandemic tests with flying colours. Man, I did a number on myself and turned the heat up to maximum. I foreshadowed losing my livelihood in a dream a year prior to the threats on my economic security. I’d seen this game before and I know about mythology and scripture. The game is on repeat. The names and the faces change, civilizations come and go, but the methods of oppression and control share the same characteristics. I see what’s going on.

They told me if you don’t conform you can’t work and you can’t travel. Now we are cooking! The fire was so hot. So, this is hell? I’ve incarnated into hell! Do I give in, fulfill my desires, and lose the freedom game that brought me here in the first place?

Nope. I won. I didn’t give in. I flipped the man the middle finger and maintained my freedom. I passed the test. I’ve altered my consciousness many times and had to learn courage and bravery and then subsequently pass tests in altered reality. I’ve never faced something this relentless in consensus reality and it was impressive. My training paid off.

I’m a warrior. I’m free.

That’s the gift for walking through the fire. I know I’m free. I’m more than talk. The past year was a heavy course load where I came to terms with my dualistic self while at the same time having to take the freedom test. It’s done! I wrote both final exams and passed. It’s a good thing I’m not a perfectionist because I made some mistakes; however, I learned from those mistakes and am all the better for the experience.

I know I have accomplished what I set out to do and in doing so I can now let all the baggage fall away. I repeatedly challenged myself over the last 9 years in order to get to this point where faced with decisions of capitulating or getting lost in the hell of desire fulfilment, when push came to shove, I chose the path of freedom and left the carnival.

In retrospect, I now understand why there is a freak show at the carnival. We seek out novelty and want new experiences to light us up as the excitement of the amusement park wanes. When we reach the end of the fetishes and thrills all that is left are the extremes of the spectrum. I’ve gone on all the rides. I ate cotton candy. I saw the high wire act. The bears danced for me. Bring on the freak! I found out that’s where I am at in this peculiar game of life. I bought my ticket to the show and when I left the theatre, I mused that wow I really have reached the end.

I’m smart enough to see it and the dream has fallen away. I’m fully awake and I see the path forward with a great clarity. It’s obvious. The great maestro don Howard taught that the way to change the world is through changing the consciousness of one person at a time. He showed me a world of love that is indeed possible and it’s the only way to live once you experience the bliss. I see now what walking the path home involves. You have to burn through your incarnation in the transformational fire in preparation to be of service and walk the path of the heart. Don Howard said you don’t find heaven; you realize it. I now see it. Heaven is now and it’s up to us to turn this hell into heaven.

Monday, June 13, 2022

motion and perspective

I’ve been taught the lessons of motion and perspective many times. To sum up the concepts I speak of - motion refers to the state of change of the energy which constitutes the universe. Our reality is a verb and is defined by transformation. Our language subtly reflects this in the notion of a "human being." We are beings. Being is implicitly a verb and describing that we are defined by existing in an ever-changing state. Eternal death is a non-starter in a paradigm that constantly renews. It’s a pretty ingenious set-up. Perspective refers to where you are on the energetic path which allows you different vantage points of what is. Einstein called it relativity. What I’m getting at with perspective is where I am now is in a world that is defined by duality. The opposites are what allow creation to come forth. The separation into distinct forms of energy brings our world alive. Currently, this is what I perceive. I’ve done spiritual work and know about the opposites.

Non-duality is the pinnacle for a lot of spiritual seekers. I get the feeling it’s because they think what they don’t have access to while here now in a body must be the ultimate spiritual reward. To dissolve back into the void! When there comes a point along the energetic journey that you are non-differentiated, you’ll probably claim duality is the truth and the light!

So, to me it’s perspective and it is all happening now. My perspective right now is to sense duality and a feeling of separation from the all. That I cannot deny though I can conceptualize all being one.

This primer leads to what I really want to talk about. I’ve done a lot of inner work and thrown off the chains of culture and bias towards denying what I have experienced. In the last couple of weeks, the realization of what I have done has really struck me as tangible. It’s coming up on ten years to the day I rediscovered my shadow and the journey towards re-establishing trust and then friendship has been time consuming. He taught and tested me. He turned me into a warrior. I knew of him and objectified him. Eventually, I came to the place where I could finally accept that he was me. I saw how I objectified my light and my darkness and realized the two were my essence. Who I am is the interplay of the two. My identity I saw as fraudulent though psychically it was real. I had created this persona from the two.

I know about the rule of the three. The one is always made of the two and the two combine to make the one. There is always this triad. It’s a big clue to the mystery of life. The two brothers of light and dark make up who I am and who I am combined with the divine feminine constitutes the all.

Back to perspective. I sense duality. I wake up in the morning and put on my duality glasses. I sit alone and laugh at the absurdity of this world. I constantly talk to myself. My family has started catching on to the pattern. Maybe I’ve taken too many psychedelic drugs? Yeah, probably, because I now clearly see the two. The two brothers are always with me because I objectify them. My shadow is always with me; talking and laughing with me. I might present as crazy but it’s all legitimate. It’s perspective. I see my split that comes forth into this world of duality.

God becomes two in a world of duality. Think about it - in our dualistic world everything has an opposite. He is the light and the darkness and if you hang around long enough on the spiritual path you will see him as Jesus and also the Devil. Krishna and Shiva. Or, maybe you won't? If you keep going further into the mystery you will eventually realize the two constitute the one. And just who is this one? Keep going and you might be gifted with the answer.

Monday, June 6, 2022

perspective of the heart

There seems to be such an interesting paradox at work here in this world. I objectify my surroundings and sometimes feel alone. I seek out others in order to share existence and experience with the other. I live within duality, yet I feel separate. I feel like a solitary being, alone within a smorgasbord of playmates. Conversely, I intuit the lack of senses would enable non-duality and when I think of this paradigm, I envision being merged with all so that even though I don't sense the other, I am the other. Duality forces me towards finding unity and then non-duality compels objectification in order to enable freedom to choose and see what the many from the one will choose. Duality reveals our intentions and nature.

It's very interesting to ponder how we create experience based on our energetic state which gives us perspective. What I mean is that we are cyclic energetic beings. Non-duality and duality are different pit stops on the energetic wave we travel. At full acceleration, we are free, separate, and become fully engulfed within a dualistic universe. As the energetic signature slows, we return to a state of non-dualistic unity and become merged with the one. The genius of the set-up is the constant motion which enables perspective. To freeze the motion is to create a snapshot in time and only then can we label existence as non-dual or conversely a sea of the many we call duality.

Deceleration of energy into concrete form is an invitation towards knowledge of self. The human experience prepares us to once again blast off into the freedom of non-attachment to form. We rebuild the store of energy and from the recoil of being trapped in a physical form, we once again prepare to accelerate to the highest highs. The oscillation of energy is the ultimate roller coaster and as energetic beings we thrive on the adrenaline rush of the carnival's thrills and chills. The body is our desires taking form. We are in a body because it is what we wanted. We wanted to continue on in experiencing all. The grand carnival of the universe is an open invitation for all energetic beings, full of delights, and of course the requisite nausea and stomachache. Gotta take the good with the bad.

The ultimate game we have set-up for ourselves to play is to find unity within duality. Because we are objectification machines, in order to enact unity, we must have faith. Faith in the power of love to get us home. Our senses will lead us astray and our logic processes will not be able to compute a feeling of love. Knowledge and sense perceptions turn you into a blind man when it comes to love. Pretty ingenious don't you think? We are blind when it comes to finding the path of the heart. Sense perceptions obscure what we seek. We are blind to the beauty all around us and we only see the hardship and ugliness. Sometimes we get a glimpse, so we know it's there. The path of the heart is discovered and travelled by letting go of what I think is real from the standpoint of physical perception. Perception is moved from the head into the heart.

The masculine is duality. He is light and the creation of this dazzling display of his essence involves a pulsing from on to off. You could say he is the light, and he is the dark. The divine masculine is acceleration, and he heads towards freedom. The man wants adventure and no attachments. The feminine is unity. She is form and embodies the power of love. Love has no dualistic opposite. Love is constant power while masculine power oscillates. The masculine power touches the feminine's embrace of all in order to decelerate. The pulsing from acceleration to deceleration is the rubber-band that creates the energy which allows creation. Form is deceleration of energy and freedom is the acceleration of the light.

It is the masculine that objectifies the feminine and through this desire creates the duality needed to come to life. The dualistic world of appearances is a man's world. The feminine gives the world form and the objects in the world allow for experience. Objectification creates duality and the recognition of a pattern having a beginning and an end. Life and death are created through delineating events within an inherent unity. The pulse of the masculine creates the eventual decay of the form as it heads towards the freedom of dissolution. Death frees us from form, and we are liberated once again. We accelerate into the astral planes and become high.

As humans, we get lost in identification with the body. It is a necessary course to take in the university of life. Attachment to the ego self creates the urgency to escape the finite body. We can project into the future and see we are going to perish. We are slowly drowning within form and there's no way out. That's a pretty good game. If you lose the attachment to form and learn the ways of vibratory planes you will start to see the way out of the unpleasant ending of biological life. The first time I tried a psychedelic I was given the knowledge of how to traverse the vibratory planes. I left my body and became the most high. I felt I was in a place of exultation, and it was so exhilarating. When I came back down into my body, I remember being dizzy, nauseous, and having to puke. My finger was tapping wildly on the floor of the jungle maloca as the Great Goddess explained to me all is vibration and schooled me in the ways of astral travel. Being so high from the experience made me eager to do it again. The next time I was sent to the hell regions and instead of being high I was so low. I experienced the classic ego death of consciousness explorers and was frightened by the possibility of losing my identity. I was being shown how attached I was to the small self and though I didn't know it at the time, astral travel requires you to give up the idea of who you think you are. You are so much greater and having an attachment to your earthly concept of identity will prevent you from exploring self and your true nature.

My consciousness journey has slowly unraveled like an onion. Like everyone else on this earth, I began from a place of being this lonely being who was trapped in a world that was not of their making. I wondered why am I here and what is this all about? Well, I progressed to the point where I wanted to explore consciousness and I was terribly naive about the avenues available for exploration. The walking foot path towards the inner sanctum through meditation didn't appeal to me. It's a strange contradiction because I'm a very patient person yet within was a desire to go fast in order to explore what I was seeking. I ended up exploring consciousness through psychoactive chemicals at the invitation of the Great Goddess, whom I had discovered in ancient Egypt. Within no time, I found her and was lifted to the highest of highs into a place of exultation. I was shown I was the divine masculine, and she was my Queen. As expected from this experience, I now saw myself as the light so when in the next journey into obfuscated consciousness I was presented with the lowest of the low and darkness, of course I objectified my dark brother as the other. To make a long story short, it took 8 years to give up the attachment to seeing myself solely as the light and objectifying the darkness as the other. I finally accepted it is all me and this integration has allowed me to proceed in the consciousness course to the path of the heart. I am a fully integrated man. I am the creator and the destroyer; the light and the dark. I am the master of transformation. I am the cause of all the suffering in the world and I can lift the whole world out of suffering.

As I enrolled in the Great Goddess' heart course, I again wondered why I objectified her? I know I'm at lesson 101 so of course I feel this way however from past experience I know I am her when seen from a non-dualistic perspective. But I'm not there yet and so though I intuit the two brothers of light and dark within and recognize them as me I don't have that feeling in regard to the feminine.

I know of the sacred triad and see myself as the coming forth of the desire between the divine masculine and divine feminine. Not only that, but I recognize I have come forth as a man in this go round on the wheel of appearances. It took me into my mid-50s to reconcile the two brothers within. I objectified my darkness as the other while identifying with the good light. Eventually, I got the lesson and vaulted past this spiritual block. I still objectify her though. The love of the Great Goddess - my mother and my heart, I still perceive as external. I know she is within, and I will find the way home when I become love. This is why I lack understanding and still objectify her.

Searching for the one is like an onion. The journey is a recursive attempt to find the fount. I keep seeing two. Duality. I look into self and see two brothers. I bring them together and declare my integrated masculine self, but I do not feel whole without a mate. I look for the feminine who makes me complete. Once I find her and recombine, then we recreate the one. I am a piece of the one. When we combine, the sexual metaphor revealed here on earth demonstrates we create another polarity of either male or female. They are a universe unto themselves and seek out a partner to continue creation. The overarching game is separation which compels you to seek wholeness. Wholeness then leads to another instance of separation. Creation continues the eternal wheel of coming and going. When the two combine into one the world stops.

Underlying the eternal nature of consciousness is three. The one within the two that defines the three. To label the paradox of the perspective states of non-duality and duality is the triad. The triad does not come forth; instead, the three is behind all that cyclically comes forth and returns. As one, we search for our mate. We are Eros, compelled to fulfill the magnetic attraction which satiates desire. The discovery of what makes you complete leads to the two becoming one. This is the grand game which spawns many little games within existence. The one comes forth from the two and the game continues on and on.

In visionary experiences, many times the Great Goddess has presented herself as the butterfly. It was hardly surprising as I pondered the question of my objectification of the divine feminine while out in the woods the next day, that the lessons from my heart continued. A butterfly floated past, and I saw within the exquisite grace and movement of the fluttering of its wings a freedom that was expressing to me the answer I was looking for. Soon, the butterfly found her mate and they were fluttering about in unison. The butterfly is the heart and the representation of the Great Goddess. I know this to be true and I saw the union of the feminine and masculine divine creating this unity that was also expressing such freedom. Butterflies glide through the ether seemingly independent of gravity or laws of thermodynamics. I saw non-attachment and I saw unity. I saw the fundamental nature of all - the union of the two powers of Goddess and God. I intuited the lesson and got the answer I was looking for. The hero's journey I travelled on was to prepare me to fight for my freedom because freedom is the power the heart needs to become whole. Without freedom, the heart will attach to everything. Masculine power gives the heart wings and allows love to flourish in freedom and love all.

The lessons of perspective are front and centre. Remember all is here and now. I know that depending on perspective you see separation or unity. I'm in a body and I'm an objectification machine therefore I see separation. I know when I drop the body and merge into the all I will be in unified bliss but will eventually long for the ice cream cone of freedom and separation in order to experience the wonders of self. What I do is sprinkle the illusion of time into this equation of perspective and project a motion path which in the future will allow me to return to wholeness. But all is here and now. Just because I feel separate doesn't mean I am not unified. It's all in how I look at it. Perspective. Everything is happening now.

It leads back to the lessons of heaven and hell and how I am responsible for creating the conditions which result in the presentation of the world. I've been conscious of world events and the suffering within this hellscape we have created. I have this innate feeling that when you drop the body you don't have a chance of going to hell because you are leaving hell. I have also seen via Huachuma and subsequently magic mushrooms that hell is what I have helped create. I can also contribute to creating heaven on earth. The maestro don Howard would tell us that you don't find heaven; you realize it. Don Howard was a Huachumero of the highest order and based on my experience with the plant, this lesson would have been drummed into his head as well. Huachuma allows you to glimpse the unity of all through the heart, if you let grandfather guide you. Don Howard was preparing students to walk the path of the heart.

So, though I project into the future a heaven of all coming together to live in bliss, the possibility exists upon earth. To change perspective is through changing vibration and witnessing the power of love enact what it is we search and long for. The power remains hidden and unlocked for most because the gateway to the heart offers you a power to manifest all desires and control your surroundings. Everyone wants that power and when you figure out you have it it's hard to give it up for what's behind door number 3. I do wish to walk the path of the heart in earnest, and I know I must walk the path without rigging the game. I must approach it of my own accord with free will.

The path of the heart is what you are left with when all else falls away. After you sift through your bullshit, drop attachments, and walk free through the hellfire of transformation is the gift of clarity. You discover who you are and why you did this. You wanted to be put to the test and still find the way back home and that path is the path of the heart. No matter where you are or how lost you have become, love will lead you back home.