divine lineage

The divine feminine and masculine come together in the centre of the grand Mesa at the axis mundi here in the symbolic expressed by the lanzon from Chavín de Huantar.

Brought together are the left and right hand paths of the feminine and masculine along with the lower and upper worlds of these energies. All is absorbed back into the representative of the Chavín god. Everything is reconciled into the centre. It is also expressed as the serpent and the jaguar. The serpent as the feminine creates the form and the jaguar as the masculine is the life force that roams this form. They are the two eternal energies that make up the sum total of all. The multi-dimensional reflection of the non-differentiated form is from these two. You can’t see one without two and centring yourself allows you to see one, two, and the many. The many collapses into the one just as the two through sexual union becomes an expression of the one.

Standing with this knowledge at the Mesa will eventually lead to understanding. We are conditioned to believe chaos is bad and can be demonstrated in expressions of madness and unpredictability. I think that’s true. Psychologically, we relegate the feminine to chaos and the striving of the masculine energy to order and reason. The great intellect of Jordan Peterson even wrote a book on this paradigm called “12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos” and in turn riled up the feminist class amongst us. Well, he is a master of controversy and is in turn misunderstood as we looked towards our developed prejudices and fail to look into the heart of the matter. I also wondered what were his intentions in writing this book? Getting to know his persona through the internet, I certainly didn’t detect misogyny, instead a refreshing honesty.

Feminine energy is chaos. Masculine energy tends towards order. Just ask Apollo, the Greek god of light and reason. Within the sum of ourselves are the interplay of these two gendered energies, so it is not mutually exclusive to either sex of the species. Knowledge is a great tool but understanding is divine. Taking the sum total of all I know and feeding it into my central processor, the brain, allows me to synergize the whole set up. Late at night, I stand there in front of my Mesa performing ritualistic acts that allow me to re-centre myself. Sometimes the epiphanies come. Epiphanies are the computer spitting out the punch card with the results. I see the sum of all energy at the axis mundi and then scattered throughout my Mesa and refracted through the prism of my mind are expressions of this energy. The one and the many. It is indeed I who brings this Mesa to life! I take unity and objectify that energy thus creating the world. I use my masculine powers to separate and behold reality!

Now back to centre. This form in the centre is non-differentiated. Aha! That is chaos and I intuitively knew it to be so. The non-differentiated energy has no order and no separation. We assign that condition to being a bad thing but it is in fact the reflection of order. What is the correct state or reality of energy? Is it the feminine unity or masculine separation? Many esoteric and Eastern traditions will tell you that because we are the ones that objectify, it is actually the spiritual truth that we are all one. Is that the truth? Is it the truth because from our perspective of dominate masculine energy in the culture we erroneously think the opposite spiritual state is true? If you want to stop the world it is true. However, the interesting part of the equation is that we live in a verb. Consciousness and existence as we know it is a wave vibration. Existence is defined by motion, which creates the illusion of time and separation. So, stop the motion and we have the truth. If we stop the motion then we have nothing. Just potential, which is the other side of coming forth. Is that really true? Why do you think the static trumps motion and motion creates illusory outcomes? Why do you think feminine chaos contains more truth than masculine objectification? Is it unsettling to have your prejudices laid bare? Yes it is because my spurious foundations are revealed once again. My understanding lies on a foundation of shifting sands. What if you can’t have one without the other? The dependency of the two creates the whole. The truth is if you see the two energies not in a sexual union then you see multiplicity. If your universal view is a sexual metaphor then we are indeed all one. Maybe Einstein was on to something with the whole relativity claim? It makes claims of truth and fanciful chasing of said truth very funny, if not frustrating.

Looking back into history, we see many budding civilizations grappled with this origin question and the dominance of each energy pole. At first, it was the feminine asserting her power which allowed creation to flourish however we are now living in the order of the masculine. Looking into my crystal ball reveals the logical outcome is pathological order which becomes tyranny. The system then collapses. Gazing back into the past, in the Mesopotamian basin the triumph of the masculine energy was mythicized as Marduk defeating the water serpent Tiamat, who personified the feminine chaos. In order for civilization to take hold, she had to be defeated. In the opening chapter of Genesis in the Bible, we see hints of this very thing as Yahweh takes the chaos and adds some light into the mix in order to separate things. Here are the passages from the King James Version.

1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

2 And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

3 And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.

4 And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.

5 And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

6 And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.

In the beginning nothing was differentiated until the masculine energy came along and started dividing things up. The Old Testament is also a great primer on the actions of masculine energy not tempered by the presence of balancing feminine energy. Fire and brimstone indeed and Jewish mythicists got that one spot on! In Greek mythology, Apollo comes along and kills Python, the enemy dragoness. This act occurred at Delphi which was considered the centre of the world. With the triumph over the feminine serpent, the Greek god of reason enabled a new consciousness in humans that celebrated the rise of individual differences. Apollo was victorious however reason still called upon the oracle at Delphi in the form of the prophetess called the Pythia. She had the gift of vision - something the mind clouded by logic and reason had to discard in order to rule. In addition, in ancient Egypt we have the god Re and his association with the cycles of time created by the sun, continuing along daily in a sun boat that is forever threatened by the chaos serpent Apophis. This battle is enacted daily and motion is eternally perpetuated by victory over chaos with the help of the strong masculine energy personified in the god Set.

Back to my Mesa. Look at how I intuitively set it up, though I didn’t know what I was doing.

The axis mundi is in the centre and the table is full of differentiated expressions of this energetic centre. However, overlooking this whole construct is this image of a jaguar within the form created by a serpent. Somehow, I knew the archetypal two lay at the head of what just is and I left it in place to discover at a later date in my journey to nowhere. The two become one and the one becomes the many. This is the divine lineage from which we all come. 

mapacho lessons

Quiet the mind and make the connection. When you are silent it speaks. When I smoke mapacho in the forest it is a cheat code to connection with a wisdom beyond my ordinary consciousness. I recognize the awareness and shift in consciousness. I hear the wind whistling through the trees, the insects humming their tune, and see the sun glistening off of a falling leaf. At this point I know I have tapped into the wisdom frequency.

Earlier this week I came across a news story where the US Navy had released video of a fighter jet coming into contact with an unidentified flying object, locked onto it, and then saw it maneuver in a flash out of its sights and then back in. The pilot reported that it was nothing like he’d witnessed before and the shape of the object resembled the typical flying saucer that the layman has been reporting since the mid 20th century. It’s a pretty cool affirmation of something being out there. I wondered and pondered about this and got the answer out in the woods after I started listening. I have been speculating upon the nature of existence being a dream lately or to put it in a more exact term the mentation or energy of a mind that is creating the universe and we are all avatars of that one consciousness. So what we are witnessing here is a tipping point where enough of the many believe in the UFO and so it manifests through the collective mind as if it is in a dream world. The same paradox is true for all gods and goddesses throughout the ages. If you believe, they exist, and if enough of us believe then they are palpably real. So the exhortation is to just believe! It doesn't matter if it seems beyond logic or is preposterous, it is the collective mental energy we produce and channel that conjures and gives rise to the idea or deity. Mystics in the past came to understand this and some then originated and promulgated the monotheistic ideal which has been passed on down to us. Their beliefs and god would become paramount and eventually the sole god because all others have been stricken from belief and memory.

So you know this then leads me to believe it is possible to create a world of love and caring for all. If we all believe and carry love in our hearts for all it is possible it will happen instead of believing it is not possible. On to the work of showing people that love one at a time. The work involves opening up the heart, blossoming a love for others, and removing the blocks preventing love for yourself.

The transient nature of existence where nothing lasts is a major clue to the fundamental nature of the universe. All patterns of energy eventually disintegrate leaving but a memory before reforming into something else. This same pattern I visit every night when I dream. I create worlds, but they change and then upon waking they dissolve away into nothing, like magic. We create tangible objects to try and defeat the relentless onslaught of the time wave that spells the end of all. We try to forever capture the moment with photography. We revere gold and other precious metals and stones because they give off some idea of permeance. Ancient cultures built pyramids as a testament to the belief their civilization would last and defeat the ravages of time. In the end all will dissolve away, the energy reforming and repatterning, and creating something new.

The great pyramids in Egypt are however unfathomable. They are impossible. UFOs are also pointing towards the reality of our situation being but a dream and the connection between the pyramids on the Giza plateau, where the construction of them is impossible, and the UFO are pointing towards this mystery. I’m not saying aliens built the pyramids, instead I am clumsily trying to say that an ancient civilization built them through collective mental energy. When logic overruns our senses these mysteries appear. The UFO phenomenon is another manifestation of the illogical wreaking havoc upon reason. It is dreaming the world into existence.

I'm curious: the people in my dreams who have lives what happens when I wake from my dream? Do they still go on? What happens to them? Are dreams just frivolous and nonsensical? Just because I suck at dreaming doesn’t mean I should necessarily dismiss the process. I suck at playing the guitar but I know there are other who are maestros at playing. There is no need to reach that elite level of playing the guitar or dreaming but I do have the passion within to level up and find out. Desire fuels all.

Do memories get wiped at death or birth? We chase novelty, always looking for a new and cheap thrill. If we know and are cognizant of everything that has ever taken place, then when we return and tap into the universal fount novelty is the unfortunate casualty. Death is a liberator. It frees us from the connection to the body, its identification, and all that we have experienced and attached to ourselves. When we let that go we can become as a child again and experience all as new. What a gift! When constructing this playground of life that must have been one of the primary considerations. A need to let go of the past so life doesn't become a bore. We fear death but it is the most sacred of all and allows us to once again take in the grandeur of creation over and over again. When it becomes commonplace and we start to figure it all out, death catches up to us and begins the process of renewal. Thinking about this construct further I imagine it is birth that wipes all knowledge and experience. Upon death it would seem all is revealed and we return to unity. It is the impetus, or riding the energetic wave, that sends us towards self again and the self rises from a situation of being a blank slate, ready to create another god. To shine once again in self absorbed glory before once again blowing out its game and returning to the all.

Some of man's religions and philosophical speculations have devised a way to get off the hamster wheel. They saw through the game and realized we keep coming into and out of existence, as the universe is a constant game of transformation. What enabled this constant coming and going is attachment and desire so they preached to cut out desire and do not get attached to anything. They didn't realize however that they were desiring not to desire. It didn’t stop there. The goal became then to silence all thoughts in meditation. Cultivated was a mass of stone buddhas, dead on arrival. You can't escape. Desire is what brings us back. The attraction to novelty and shiny things gets us every time. That right hand path to self is like a carnival, full of wonders and curiosities, and a chance to win at the game of life once more. Come on, take another spin on the wheel of incarnation. Incarnation is such a great word - carne - enter into that meat body once again! We come into the next incarnation full of excitement for the journey. Then it becomes difficult and the suffering makes us desperately look for a way out. Then we return to our origin and boredom creeps in and the sense of adventure promises us this time it will be different. So we ride the roller coaster of appearances again.

We take life very seriously. If we didn't then the game would become a joke. However I think it is a joke and if you want to beat the game you have to become the joker and see through the pretences of man and life. Ultimately if liberated you'd throw it all away and live on the periphery of civilization. What am I striving for? An expensive car and a bigger house so I can let my family, friends, and neighbours know that I am successful and am one up on them? To spend my free time shopping for the latest style in high end light fixtures? To beat the game, if that's what you want, treat it like a game and play it to the best of your ability or laugh at its absurdity. You sir or madam are creating the hamster wheel. You are creating the suffering. Let me say that again - you are creating the suffering. Cultivate and surround yourself in love and dream into existence a world transformed by love. That's how to beat the game and rescue the princess or wake the prince. 

machinations of mind

Reason is founded upon non-reason, chaos if you will. The natural state is meaningless; it just is. Assigning it context, ordering it, and making logical sense and reason out of existence is the result of thinking. So, you see, reason is measurement and therefore illusory. Non-reason is the fount of everything.

As an exercise the next time you are out in nature or go for a walk in the woods, have a unencumbered look at your surroundings. In nature you will notice there’s no order to the plethora of old and new growth in the forest. Nature is resembling chaos for the most part. The river that runs through the path I walk is winding and twisting and turning on its way to a destination unknown. We humans love to organize and plant gardens. We plant them in nice rows. We bring order and reason to the natural state of chaos.

nature

My masculine "higher self" can be said to be ultimately in charge of this vehicle I call self. He is the one who has the knowledge, experience, and expertise needed to drive this vehicle perfectly on the road of life. He gave the keys to me at physical birth. He takes care of most things needed to operate this vehicle but he gives me free will to drive it wherever I wish to take it. He has managed to be hands off and just lets me sometimes drive it out of control or make questionable decisions that cause negligent damage to the vehicle. It’s a joy ride on my journey of discovery.

How awesome is it that he made me the mouthpiece of this field of energy? He entrusted me to be the spokesperson. I can wax eloquently on about this and that all the while hiding a ulterior motive in my quest to get get get. In retrospect, what a blunder! It's like giving the fox the keys to the henhouse. I mean I'm full of desires, wants, and questionable eating habits. I want power and control over my vicarious situation and I'm given the means to become an utter failure and miscreant by using this power for selfish gains. I think that's the brilliance behind it though. Through this power and responsibility I will fail and bring the edifice into disrepute. I will reenact the biblical story of the prodigal son (It's a great story, go read it - I'll wait). 

Switching gears now, when I go to sleep at night mental activity seems to cease because I can’t recall anything for a certain portion of the night. However. at some point into the rest period eventually comes the dreaming. Think of this in terms of the eternal wave of energy that is at rest and then peaks and is everything in between. So, you have peaceful sleep and then mental activity, in which a form of dreaming consciousness then starts to take place. You can mimic this with meditation where you can silence the mentation and turnings of the mind and reach peace. This state of mind is fleeting and then the thoughts start coming back. I’m sure you can now see the parallels. So, why I bring this up is the curious case of our lives being a form of a dream and existence being a form of consciousness as opposed to concrete stuff. When we sleep and dream at night we are dreaming within our dream, because that is the energy cresting and falling. Cycling is what energy does and it is recursive in this case. We only recognize the actual dream when we come out of sleep. While dreaming we don’t recognize that we are dreaming for the most part and those that do can eventually direct the course of the dream. Taking this as a template for what we call life, or reality, it is interesting if we view our lives as a dream or the mental activity of something "higher", whatever that may be. I do like to identify with something higher; definitely not the low! The "higher self" is dreaming and controls an avatar that functions in this world. The world is the mental construct of a collective consciousness in which everyone participates because we are all part of the energy which enables consciousness. Much like in a dream if you do realize this then you can perhaps start having some control over events in this waking dream. We used to call this magic. From this thinking, you can postulate that not having control over your avatar might be the better play. We call this free will. Free will and magic at opposite ends of control.

Taking this a step further, when I dream at night I am creating a universe, though my "lower self" and its dreaming capacity is pretty primitive, so this universe is loosely modelled on the "higher self" dream. Subsequently, this universe is fleeting and not all that well thought out being as it is coming from a rookie dreamer. However, the cool thing about my dream is that everything which is separate and plays out is ultimately the product of my mind as a unity. So, take that realization and project it on to your own life, your origin, and realize the essential oneness of all.

At night I dream and I create worlds full of people, places, and things from the mundane to the spectacular. The commonality between all I have created in my dreams is that they were given the energy to exist through my mental processes. They are of a common origin. They are essentially one; the unity we seek in our own spiritual lives. Are we the product of a dreamer? And is the dreamer a product of another dreamer? Is this recursive? 

dragon tales

The rise of the dragon is given its impetus by the suppression of the feminine. It is the response of a downtrodden feminine class in order to highlight the need to bring everything to centre. The dragon epitomizes destruction. Men want to build a society based on reason and logic and out of this hope to create a utopia. A dysfunctional utopia though; you see there’s a severe imbalance in this construct that does not integrate love, wisdom, and intuition but instead triumphs reason and the suppression of all others. The eventual response of the feminine is to release the dragon from the depths in order to harass man into waking up to the sad truth that all his progress will eventually destroy him unless he becomes inclusive. The dragon was always there at the behest of the feminine, chained to the world axis, to keep the masculine in check. So Apollo came and killed the Python at Delphi, the Greek designation of the Axis Mundi, and ushered in our age of reason.

Apollo killing Python. A 1581 engraving by Virgil Solis for Ovid's Metamorphoses, Book I.

But did he kill the dragon or did he mistakenly unchain it through killing it at Delphi? Apollo was to rid man of his psyche and celebrate reason and logic; the Spock within all true unemotional and unattached men! Unbeknownst to the great Apollo, the dragon is also an indestructible part of the psyche and came back, this time unchained. It’s a gambit introduced by the feminine to reclaim what is lost; to scream at the masculine to realize he can’t go on this way. You will destroy all. There is a need to cage the dragon once again now that we and our progress have chartered many courses - environmental, economic, and nuclear war that will usher in the end of civilization and well how do we do that? By bringing balance back into the equation. To get back to centre. The best and the brightest resources we have go towards finding more clever ways to destroy ourselves. Killing the dragon will not solve the problem but inclusiveness will and that goes for the dragon as well. Welcome him back into society and use his awesome power to protect the weak and downtrodden among us. The sages of the east figured out a way to use the impressive yang power of the dragon long ago.

This external metaphor is mirroring my own inner world. I have met this dragon within. It terrified me and I ran from it. I have tried to suppress it but eventually I will have to deal with it. I need to integrate all parts of my psyche. I can’t suppress this shadow part of me forever. Use the template as described above to find the centre. Find inner peace and include the dragon in this wholeness.

I went on a bit of a long journey and confronted the dragon along the way, about half way through my sojourn. You want to find ‘yourself’, well guess what? The dragon is a part of that self you are on a journey to discover. I didn’t like that part so I ran from it, ran all the way home and he chased me home, sinisterly calling me Apollo. Back on home ice I was able to regroup and recover from the severe beatdown the dragon gave me. And then he came at me again and I had to summon my allies to help me subdue the bastard so he wouldn’t bother me again in order to finish my spiritual climb. He has left me alone and I completed the climb up the mountain last year.

Two of the plant medicines that helped me on this journey are Ayahuasca and Huachuma. Ayahuasca put me in touch with all the disparate parts of my psyche that are a reflection of the corpus we call self. It’s like a prism that refracted the white light of the unified mind into different light vibrations and from this I saw desire, I saw love, I saw reason, I saw destruction, I saw chaos, I saw intuition, and I saw madness. If I couldn’t have handled it I don’t think I would have been drawn to it, in fact I sure wouldn’t have gone back for a round 2 after the dragon stomped on me. Huachuma on the other hand did the opposite. It showed me the white light and the glory of self. It took all those disparate parts revealed by Ayahuasca and combined them into a harmonious one. Huachuma taught me to be aware and observe. The psyche will take that awareness and assign context, feelings, and give rise to action as we act on the desire lighting us up. When this becomes madness I know I can always return to the white light and find the way out. I see this clearly now. I felt very disillusioned when I completed the climb up the mountain last year; in a way you expect more. Don’t I get to be exalted now? But I already had everything; I just had to go on a journey to remember that forgotten part.

So why all of this and why the journey? Because I want to learn about all my parts that are diffracted through the prism of separation as well as the whole. I am the all as the white light, so I break it all down so I can examine it. I am Eros. I am the Goddess. I am Apollo. I am the dragon. I am the Moon, I am crazy. I am the joker.

I stood at the top of the mountain and realized I can’t stay there. I needed to come down the mountain and I knew on my way down I could be of service and teach love and togetherness. While coming down the mountain I have also learned the journey isn’t over. I was able to get up the mountain because I could get to a state of primal awareness and leave the mess behind. I never quite reconciled all my constituent parts. I embraced most of them but buried the dragon, but he is still there and will need to be integrated into the whole. I left that one out. I’m heading back into the world of feeling with Love amped up and it’s time to be inclusive of all parts of my psyche including the ones I ran from. That’s the impetus behind this game to begin with. Discovery. The last great discovery is the mythical dragon. Why is it a part of me and why is it included in the all?

I think I answered this at the beginning of this post. The dragon is necessary because the divine masculine is stronger than the divine feminine. When the masculine subjugates the feminine then the dragon is loosed from its chains and destroys the edifice the man of supreme reason has created and the game starts again anew. Another go round learning about unity while in a state of separation.