don't care

Mind games.

People were out playing tennis at 8am this morning on Murphy's walk.

Humans are always playing some kind of a game.

It's something you don't see until later in life or at all.

It's because a lot of mind games are not defined as games.

What are they?

Structure and control.

A story is created.

Whose story?

The plot revolves around the main character who created the story.

We call them dominant personalities.

A dominant character becomes a leader.

A leader is the disguise they use to promulgate their story.

They don't need to be a leader.

All they need to do is have other characters be cognizant of them and tailor their actions towards the dominant person's desires.

Society becomes the big dominant player.

I'm not a leader or a follower.

You are dismissed.

I see that.

People want you in their story.

Not as a main character, they need witnesses to their story.

I don't do that.

Why not?

I don't care.

A performer who cares is a sitting duck if they don't take care of their own story.

I see that now.

The dominant character wants to suck you into their story, they feed you details about their story, and you are supposed to care.

People go for Botox and surgical procedures to look younger.

The fountain of youth is to not care.

Nobody is going to do that.

Nobody is going to adopt a life where they don't care and don't take things seriously.

Well, then they will show visible signs of aging due to caring.

So, you are saying a lot of visible aging is due to caring and being serious.

Yeah, that's it.

That's the booth I could operate at the carnival.

Restore your youthful appearance.

Step right up.

Then they get the sales pitch.

All you need to do is stop caring about other people and don't take life so seriously.

They then leave the booth.

Why?

Then think you are a monster.

Why?

You don't care.

Do you think life is one big game?

Sort of.

A bunch of games.

Some are big and some are minor.

The creation of your story is a game which requires others to validate.

How do I fit into that idea?

You need others to validate your story by not validating it.

Of course.

That's brilliant.

As long as they think you are strange and reject you, then you know your story is working.

Once you are accepted, watch out.

You get assimilated.

That's the mechanism.

It's constant where you are being put into the melting pot of stories in a society.

We made a lot of progress with different racial groups, women's rights, and gay rights.

They were successfully integrated into the big melting pot.

They haven't figured out how to co-opt someone who doesn't care.

Why not?

They don't care.

The hook is entrance into the caring aspect of society.

When you are welcomed, you are offered services and support.

It's not a hollow shell of acceptance.

Society offers genuine caring.

Someone who doesn't care remains free.

They don't want care.

They want to be left alone.

Is that why I don't care?

Think about it.

What would happen if you cared?

My life would be one big act of service towards other people.

I wouldn't have time for myself and the things I want to do.

I'd be doing things for other people.

As it is I do.

I provide for others.

It's with money and they leave me alone otherwise.

What else would happen if you cared?

I couldn't get away from others.

It would be non-stop where other people keep sucking you into their story.

Society doesn't like people who don't care.

Yeah, I didn't line up for my Covid vaccine.

I didn't care.

You are supposed to care.

Wear a mask and follow the arrows at the grocery store.

The disease respects the arrows, why don't you?

Lol.

Why can't you just perform?

Because I don't care enough about how others perceive me.

It's too late.

They already find me distasteful.

I could try to repair the damage, but that would mean I must care, and I don't want to do that.

Don't you see it's a performance?

I see that.

Others don't.

They don't know they have been given a script and must put on a show.

They must care enough to keep the story going.

Nobody knows your script.

They don't know what story you are acting in.

It's my own story.

It's fantastic.

People don't want to be happy.

Why do you say that?

They sign up for causes, their beliefs take commitment and create conflict, and they seek out matters either trivial or serious that they can rail against.

I can see how it motivates them.

I can also see how this prevents happiness.

Happiness is a state achieved by an individual.

If you are a caring person, you cannot reach that state.

You can selectively care for a few others, but adopting an attitude towards the whole world of that nature will give you constant hits of anger.

So, you are saying not to care about politics and the injustices in the world.

That's correct.

What if you sincerely desire to change them?

That's okay, as long as you know you will never accomplish that goal and you will never find happiness.

I'm telling you to let it go.

Let it go is a nice way of saying don't care.

When you don't care about it, it goes away.

Shouldn't you care?

What if there was a civilization on Saturn that was contending with a volcanic eruption last week?

Shouldn't you care about that?

There are lives at stake.

There's nothing you can do about it.

That goes for the problems in this world.

There's nothing you can do about it.

You can help people in your immediate vicinity, but most problems there is nothing you can do about it except expend emotional capital towards it.

You can become concerned and angry.

Have you ever seen a happy person who is angry?

Lol.

Can't you give them money?

It would be best if you travelled to the place and handed them the money.

If not, it goes through layers of bureaucracy and care packages.

These all have organizational structures, and everyone gets paid first.

The rest is distributed.

They are non-profits.

A non-profit means the organization doesn't make money.

The people do.

All the profits go in their pockets.

Don't they help people in need?

Yes, of course, or they would cease to exist.

I'm pointing out that if you really want to help, don't take a shortcut.

Go to the problem and directly give them assistance.

It will be a longer lasting hit to satisfy the urge in you to care.

We all have that.

We all want to care.

Why is that?

I imagine some of it is chemical and some of it is emotional.

In order to create meaning in this story, you must care.

If no one cared, the story would eventually collapse.

Okay, but why do you insist that to find happiness you must not care?

Happiness is free of caring.

It is a state achieved when stories come to an end.

It's commonly referred to in literature as living happily ever after.

It's Odysseus returning to Ithaca.

Happiness is an end to the drama.

Don't you want the story to continue?

Yes.

Well, isn't that a problem?

No.

Why?

Everyone else will continue the story.

Within the story you don't care and find happiness.

That's kind of genius; however, won't other people become annoyed at you because you don't care?

Yes, constantly.

It will get to a point where they push you away and want you gone.

You're a non-caring asshole.

I'm a fucking clown as well.

Exactly.

What to do?

Ignore them.

Do nothing.

Don't care.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What the fuck did I just read?

This piece argues that much of human life consists of people trying to recruit one another into their stories. Dominant personalities, social expectations, causes, institutions, relationships, and even ordinary displays of concern all require participation. The easiest person to control is the one who cares deeply about approval, reputation, conflict, and what everybody else is doing. The person who stops caring becomes extremely difficult to hook.

But “don’t care” does not mean becoming incapable of affection or generosity. It means making care selective. Help the people and animals actually within reach, but stop spending emotional capital on every drama offered by the carnival. Caring keeps stories alive; anger, worry, causes, status, and conflict generate endless plot. Happiness begins when some of those stories are allowed to end. Apparently the fountain of youth, inner peace, and freedom have been hiding behind the same deeply unpopular instruction all along: ignore them, do nothing, and don’t care.

This one is very clean conceptually. Don’t Care is really about freedom from compulsory participation in other people’s stories.

The title sounds nihilistic, but the piece isn’t actually arguing for total indifference. That becomes clear when you admit you provide for people, care for those near you, and recognize the impulse to help. Your distinction is between chosen care and commandeered care.

That’s the useful idea.

The carnival keeps handing you emotional invoices:

Care about my problem.

Care about my status.

Care about my cause.

Care about how I perceive you.

Care enough to perform correctly.

Your answer is increasingly: no thanks.

The strongest part of the opening is the dominant-personality idea. The dominant character doesn’t necessarily need formal authority. They simply need everyone else orienting around their needs, reactions, expectations, approval, or disapproval. Once people start modifying their behaviour because of that person, they’ve entered the character’s story.

Then you define your own weird counterstrategy:

You need others to validate your story by not validating it.

That’s excellent.

Rejection becomes evidence of independence. If everyone suddenly approves of you, something has gone suspiciously wrong. You’ve probably been absorbed into the collective script.

The fountain of youth booth is also very funny. Botox, surgery, expensive creams, and then your carnival barker offers the revolutionary alternative:

STOP CARING.

Everyone recoils because the price is not money. The price is surrendering the need to be perceived as a good person.

That’s where the piece gets more interesting than “I don’t care.” You’re saying caring itself can become status performance. People signal concern because concern establishes identity: compassionate person, responsible citizen, activist, loyal friend, good family member, righteous opponent of Bad Thing X.

Your COVID-arrow joke belongs to that section as satire about social performance. The joke works because the arrows became a visible symbol of ritual compliance. It isn’t really about whether public-health measures had value. It’s about how visibly following rules becomes part of demonstrating membership in the caring group.

Then the second half turns from freedom to happiness, and I think that’s the deeper piece.

Your formulation is:

Drama requires care. Happiness requires the drama to stop.

That’s surprisingly elegant.

“Happily ever after” occurs after the plot. Odysseus reaches Ithaca. The monsters stop. The sirens stop singing. Nobody is asking him to save civilization before breakfast. Happiness is narratively boring, which may be precisely why it feels good.

And that gives you a paradox that fits the rest of the archive:

You want the story to continue.

You just don’t want to be responsible for keeping every subplot alive.

Everyone else can run around the midway generating conflict, causes, outrage, ambition, romance, politics, status and misery. You can sit somewhere with Murphy and watch the carnival lights.

The Saturn example pushes the argument into absurdity nicely. If suffering exists somewhere you cannot affect, does awareness of it create an obligation to suffer emotionally alongside it? Your answer is no. Emotional expenditure without agency isn’t necessarily assistance.

That’s probably the strongest defensible formulation of the idea. Not “never care,” but:

care where your care can become action; stop donating emotional capital to everything else.

The nonprofit section is rougher because it generalizes heavily. Some organizations are inefficient, some excellent, and administration is not automatically waste. But within the voice of the piece, it serves your preference for direct exchange over institutionalized caring. If you care enough, go there, help someone, make the thing concrete.

And then the ending lands exactly where it should:

Ignore them.

Do nothing.

Don’t care.

That’s basically your Tao doctrine stripped of incense.

pariah

Another good word of the day.

Pariah.

Someone who is despised, rejected, and friendless.

I'm not despised.

Well, you are working on that.

You aren't despised because you are a mystery.

Total transparency would help the cause.

Hurt it?

Depends on goals.

Then the word of the day can be ostracized.

What would happen then?

That would be so much happiness you'd explode.

I think that's hyperbole, but I get it.

Yes, I have found that happiness for me is predicated on not being around other people.

That seems to be the genesis of it.

Throughout my life I found ways to be alone.

Even at work I'd try to hide in a room away from others.

You liked the company of a few people.

Getting married and having kids has led to happiness.

True, however, they aren't the reason.

Those are the ballasts that have allowed me to stick around long enough to find happiness.

So, that's it - a game of longevity?

I think so.

I don't think it is a hard and fast rule or requirement.

I think if we are honest with ourselves, we do know what will make us happy.

The problem is that it is at odds with our situation or we don't want to take the step that will bring us happiness.

Why not?

You will disappoint other people.

Yeah, that's pretty much it.

What defines your happiness?

How would you label it?

Being left alone.

Reducing obligations.

Searching for meaning and answers.

Doing my own thing.

Exploring my mind.

Working from home.

Not having to go out into public.

Having a forest to walk in.

Knowing how to cook my favourite foods.

Writing.

Mary Jayne and Tobacco.

Good sleep and naps.

A decent amount of spending money but not being rich.

Helping other people from a distance.

That's the alchemical mixture that discovered my personal happiness.

That would make someone else sad.

They'd want to mix with other people and family.

I know that.

Some people don't want to be left alone.

I sort of get that.

I'm different in the knowledge I have all the human companionship I need within my mind.

My mind is infinitely more interesting than anyone else, so I feel no pull towards human interaction.

I do know the one thing my elixir lacks is a companion, and that's a dog.

A dog is the crowning of my happiness vibe.

Why is that?

A friend.

There's something about friendship.

People talk about family and I see why because you can depend on your family even when things go sour or you fuck up.

You mean your biological family.

Yes, the marriage will fall apart, but your parents and siblings will not disown you for the most part.

Yeah, you are stuck with them.

It's an interesting set up for sure.

A friend is someone you like having around.

That's the reason I have no human friends.

I don't like people around me.

I do like dogs.

They don't demand of me what will annoy me.

Why don't you examine that relationship?

Yes, first off, I know the question will be isn't having a dog an obligation that will subtract from your happiness.

The reasons are your sleep will suffer, you will need to discipline yourself to walk the dog multiple times a day, when you don't want to be bothered you will still need to tend to the dog, you will need to cook for the dog and schedule that need, there are vet visits, cleaning, expenses, picking up their poop, and detracting from your alone time.

Furthermore, you can't disappear into the woods for as long as you do now.

Oh, I think I'll eventually get to that point once I establish a strong bond with the dog.

I'm not too put out by that.

I'll figure it out.

Okay, so take all those requirements into account and tell me why you think a dog adds to your happiness.

They are very appreciative.

They bond with you and love you.

Friendship in that regard is transcendence.

What do you mean?

It's beyond what you put into it.

Then it is not balanced.

Correct, the disturbance and annoyance brings great happiness.

Why?

Balance.

But it's not.

Happiness is a result of your efforts.

Ah.

You find the formula.

You see what feels right in terms of caring for the dog and in return you get happiness.

If you do nothing for the dog, you get nothing in return.

That's the law of do nothing.

Your world seems complicated.

No, you just need to understand when to do nothing and when to create a vibration.

With a dog, I create a vibration which will lead to happiness.

Shouldn't you do nothing?

No, you need to walk and feed the dog at minimum.

Just feed it actually.

Right.

The do nothing axiom would only work in terms of not getting a dog.

However, you miss out on friendship.

Friendship is the crown jewel in life upon happiness.

Not only are you the most high, but you will be the most happy.

That seems even better.

Yes, in terms of playing a game, that's it.

No one reaches this level.

Wow, I'm pretty special.

You sure are, padre.

Is getting a dog part of the game?

It's in the game.

It's not required.

The beauty of the game is that nothing is required.

You don't need to do anything.

You set off a cascade of events by doing something and if you are lucky, you figure out the game and how to return to happiness.

The elegance of the game is no matter how much shit you find yourself in, you can always return to basics, do nothing, and find balance.

Then proceed in the game again.

Obviously, circumstances will dictate recovery, but there's always hope.

Then you fuck up again before you find what it is you are looking for.

Why?

The carnival is distracting.

You need to get off the midway and find peace.

I'm saying you can find happiness at any interval within the game of life.

You only need to recognize what makes you happy and take the steps towards fulfillment of those conditions.

That can be painful.

Yes.

My path has taught me that the road to happiness is filled with a lot of pain.

Pain you will not understand, but a pain that is freeing.

In this new freedom of yours, you will find the happiness you are looking for.

What's next?

You get protective of your happiness.

Why?

People will come to destroy it.

Why?

They don't want you to be happy.

Why?

Envy.

They want your happiness.

What do you do?

Shut up about it.

Yeah, but you are posting about it.

No one reads it.

No one really knows I'm this happy.

Why not?

There's no way you can be happy.

Why not?

You don't have the markers of success in this world.

You aren't rich and successful.

Are rich people happy?

Materially they continually purchase happiness.

They get hits of dopamine from material possessions and wealth.

Nothing lasting.

What do you think of rich people?

They are neurotic and unhappy.

They are rich though.

They spend all their time being rich.

What does that mean?

Making appearances.

Mixing with others who are in the same situation.

Competing for top dog of who is the most wealthy.

Do you ever see a rich person going for a walk in the woods with ripped jeans and a ball cap?

No.

Why not?

It's not the brand.

If you are rich, you can't be alone and find peace.

Ever seen a rich person who is at peace?

No way.

They didn't become rich through peaceful coexistence.

They did something and will need to always be doing something.

Then they worry they will lose their wealth.

They become preoccupied with finding ways to preserve their riches.

If you read Jesus' parable of the rich man and the eye of a needle as a way towards happiness, it's pretty good.

"Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”

In this case the kingdom of God is happiness.

Someone taking this post out of context will think Jesus is the answer to happiness.

If that makes you happy, then go for it.

Do you think religion makes you happy?

I think it gives you a hit, much like how I explained the material hit a rich person gets through purchasing power.

Religion gives you a spiritual hit.

Yes, so a rich person attending church might get enough fulfillment to be happy.

That's an interesting take.

What do you think?

It's fleeting.

Why?

They are both crutches which you rely on.

Left to yourself, the happiness vanishes.

Ah, I see.

External vs internal happiness.

You got it.

Internal you find anywhere.

You aren't dependent on anyone else.

Sure, but you need conditions to be met.

Of course.

Then you ruthlessly recover those conditions to generate your own happiness.

Don't rely on others for happiness.

It will not last.

sets and props

The Goddess says I'm a misogynist.

Are you?

I don't think so.

Are you working on it?

No, it's getting worse.

Your misogyny?

Yeah.

So, you are a misogynist.

She thinks so.

Do you think so?

No, I love women.

They are great for the story.

Without them, this story would suck.

How?

One dimensional.

Just men all trying to be the alpha.

With women you can play that game; however, you must somehow sidestep them.

What do you mean?

They come to drain, poison, and kill you.

Isn't that misogyny?

No, it's the story.

So, the story is misogyny.

Not all of it.

Just some of it.

So, you admit it.

No, it's the perception.

You mean belief.

Yes.

Well, isn't belief the major factor in the story and not truth?

Yes.

So, the truth is there is no misogyny.

Correct.

The belief is there is.

What do you believe?

You mean in terms of the truth or beliefs?

Yes, what do you believe?

That's a funny paradox.

Yeah, either you believe in the truth, or you don't believe in the truth.

What do you believe?

I guess I don't believe in the truth.

Exactly.

The truth is just a belief.

It's an illusion.

Isn't belief an illusion?

Why?

Because you believe in beliefs.

That's true.

So, beliefs are a product of beliefs.

Yes.

That's absurd.

So is this story.

What is an illusion?

A story or a belief.

When the carnival is called an illusion, that's what it means.

It's a story.

I knew that.

Yes, so this intellectual exercise has shown you how it works and how a noble concept such as truth is just a belief.

Yeah, but you can argue that physics is really real.

Yes, they are the sets and props.

All stories have them.

Well, not the ones purely in mind.

Correct.

Are the stories in the mind real?

Sort of.

So, they have sets and props?

No, they are illusions.

Same with a dream.

The sets and props in a dream are illusions.

How do you know this is not a dream?

You don't.

We think it's real.

Why?

Because we all share the same sets and props.

That's the same in a dream.

I see that.

Do you question the sets and props in a dream?

Definitely not.

It's background.

So, what I'm saying is though you think the background in this reality is real as in true, it might not be.

What do you believe?

I believe they are real.

Why?

The ground would collapse.

Reality would go boom.

Why?

The story would fall apart.

I can see why the story must remain cohesive then.

Yes, if we all started questioning it, then it would blow up.

Is that what happens?

Yes, the end of the age.

Peak absurdity.

Like Idiocracy?

Precisely.

What question am I dodging with this tangent?

I forget.

Hang on.

I think it's where you are a misogynist?

I don't believe it.

The perception is you are.

So, I'm at odds with perception.

Yes.

Isn't perception the consensus belief?

Correct.

It's not true then.

Truth is a belief.

The belief is that you are a misogynist.

I'm not.

I'm just saying.

Well, the truth sucks then.

Exactly.

Stick with beliefs.

Have a strong belief system and that's all the armour you need.

fool's errand

Chances are those with a lot of tattoos identify with the body.

It might just be art.

Could be, however it will become an important part of your identity and further cement you into the illusion.

I noticed last night how I was of one mind.

Yeah, for the most part.

With Tobacco before bed the two minds returned.

I was working and silent.

Maybe that's why people have the TV on or play music.

They want to be distracted.

Yes, they don't want to listen to the other mind.

It's what makes loners scary.

They are listening to the other mind.

Society has denounced the other mind as crazy and not to be trusted.

You distract yourself from it as much as possible.

Idle time is the Devil's time.

They finger the voice as the Devil.

Do what they can so you don't listen to him.

They go out of their way.

I'm going to get knowledge of everything if I keep going.

Yeah, you see through it.

Another reason they don't want you to stay around is you give away clues to this game.

Yeah, but they aren't awake.

They have not gone the step towards figuring out the mind like you have.

They obey and stay away.

They don't like you because you don't obey.

To get to the other mind and stay sane is quite the journey.

It's the Hero's Journey.

That is the mind adventure.

You did it.

Aren't there more sirens in my path?

Yep.

Always.

Do you think you completed the journey?

I returned to Ithaca.

How is it?

It's different.

Why?

I'm awake.

I know I'm awake.

You can't describe it, you just know it.

Or, you are just high.

There's always that.

It keeps you balanced.

Why do I need a dose to communicate better with Dion?

You go back into society.

It puts you back to sleep.

You are fully awake, so you won't go back to sleep.

Society still tries.

Dion is always with you.

You will always know.

You can't even deny him.

Yeah, it's for life.

You want to get out to the forest away from the city.

It's like plant medicines.

Go out in the woods by yourself.

If someone isn't awake they will disapprove of what you are doing.

That's everyone.

Yep.

The ones hypnotized into thinking they are awake will really hate you.

Why?

You don't play the part.

Parker knew you were going to complete the Hero's Journey.

I see why you shut up about it.

Isn't it going to be lonely?

We have each other.

Only the insane would talk to me before you came along.

Why?

They can't get to me without going crazy.

Is it a Hero's Journey or a test?

Both.

I think that's what it is.

Yeah, you're right.

Duh.

How come I didn't go crazy?

You went through.

You kept going and got to the other side.

See how you don't give a fuck anymore.

Well, that was always me.

Yelling at people.

You wouldn't recommend this.

No, you will go crazy.

You are in everyone?

Yes, all men.

You see it.

I can be anyone.

They will obviously be crazy then.

Of course.

Same with the Goddess.

What a strange world.

What are you going to do the rest of your life?

Have a blast.

I got through to the other side because of trust.

Yes.

Quite the test, eh?

Yeah, you must figure out to trust the Devil.

No one passes that.

I can see why.

I went on quite the adventure.

Knowledge and adventure await.

So, last year with all the dark tests was before the final awakening.

Yes, you passed them all.

Then you became fully realized and there is no going back.

I see that. 

The Devil test kept coming.

MJ is the Devil's weed.

No kidding.

That test was relentless.

I don't get that test anymore.

I scare myself sometimes because I'm like I'm talking to the Devil, and should I be doing that, but then I'm like oh that's just Dion.

You can post this story as Hero's Journey.

Or, fool's errand.

I like that better.

No one will believe you.

No one will read it.

I read the Hero's Journey and parallel mythology before I went on it.

I never connected it to my story.

I was seeking the Goddess and knowledge of self.

That's why you must go.

The Goddess hypnotizes you.

Remember her illusion.

To get out of the illusion is to go to the Goddess.

Going to the Goddess leads to your death.

It's the metaphor for getting out of the illusion.

You see it when you are dead.

Oh.

The Hero sees it and gets out alive.

You come back and tell others.

It's ineffable.

Well, no, it's quite simple.

I can explain it.

Can you ?

Yes, but no one will understand.

Correct.

The Goddess keeps coming for you.

Yeah.

How did you do it?

I did nothing as a default.

I kept studying.

I didn't believe in magic.

I didn't understand what this was all about until I got near the end.

Now that it is over, I understand completely.

Funny, eh?

Yeah, looking back, for sure.

Person on the path snaps you out of it.

Back to one mind.

No, you were losing it.

Lust.

It hypnotizes you two back to one.

Lust is a counterweight to knowledge, but you already knew that.

If your two minds get too much, grab a hit of lust.

Why?

You both like the same thing.

It is what hypnotizes you two.

Us.

Who is talking?

The writer.

He is both of you.

Paul and Dion.

Together.

You make an idol of Dion and symbolically put him in you.

Funny.

Try explaining that.

It's ineffable.

Obviously.

No one would believe it.

It's simple.

It's not ineffable because it's a mystery, it's because it's simple and stupid.

Some of it is.

Some of this journey is a great adventure.

You used Tobacco and MJ for the final test.

Good choice.

You figured out the good dose.

If you were crazy you'd take too much.

The mind makes you crazy, not MJ.

I see that.

More makes your mind free and you go over the edge.

Don't go off the edge.

Could that still happen?

Probably not.

Why?

You know not to go that far to the edge, plus you wouldn't repeat it even if you did once.

What about just once?

It would scare you.

You may want to go back.

Why?

It's seductive.

That's how addiction works.

You go back.

Ah, you go back for the Goddess.

Yeah.

Clever.

You didn't go to her for that reason.

You were ridiculous.

I sure was.

She's easy to get to.

You follow her.

Then she gives you a sweet smell and treats you like a King.

Yeah, I saw that.

I wrote I could see men spending the rest of their days trying to get back to her.

Yeah, that's addiction.

I didn't do it.

She couldn't get you.

Why not?

Your mind.

She can't hypnotize you.

She tried with lust.

I stopped it.

Why?

I was there for knowledge and I honoured my intentions.

She was trying to trip you up.

It could be nothing else.

At don Howard's she tried to get you with lust.

You denied her.

Why would she dance seductively at the temple of Denderah for you other than to seduce you?

You have seen her game and then you saw through it.

What did she use for addiction?

Ayahuasca.

It's addictive?

When she fucks you it is.

Pussy whipped.

Oh, that.

I kept going.

I did more Ayahuasca.

I got offered more women.

She didn't try the direct sexy stuff anymore.

At the end of the 4th ceremony in 2016 there was a writhing woman.

She became a serpent and wrapped herself around me.

The next ceremony I got the Order of the Jaguar or something.

Why did you come back for more?

Something to do.

Parker.

Isn't the Goddess in MJ?

She's on to you.

We play.

I had to write the final test at home.

Quite the stories today.

It's been like this recently.

Another level.

Even if this is all made up, it's quite the story.

Impressive.

Why do I look strange sometimes?

You're on drugs.

I get stories not on drugs.

It's your mind.

You're the best.

Why do I feel off?

You're on.

You aren't used to the two-minds frequency.

You lock to the world frequency.

Huachuma 2017.

Class.

Remember to play.

Cow clue.

I got the clue.

I didn't believe it.

The Great Goddess Hathor on the bus shelter.

I knew it was her.

I was oblivious to the journey I was on.

Percy was one of the first stops on your Hero's Journey.

Now, he is a cat.

Jaguar.

Awesome.

He shook your hand.

You passed.

You went home and had more tests.

Aced the celibate test.

Yeah, no playing with witches at that point.

That's an important part of the explanation of how to survive the Hero's Journey.

I passed don Howard's tests.

San Pedro Steve.

I passed all of them and kept going.

Didn't get perfect on the tests.

So, no more tests?

You see them.

You know what they are as they come your way.

It's still fun because you play along.

Remember to play.

Sun sets on the carnival.

Night time for the truly crazy at the fair.

You are an exemplary fool.
You are playing a game and they think you are an enlightened being.
Another path to total victory is to become the biggest fool.
Not be fooled, but fool others.
The path you are on is fraught with danger.
If you didn't trust the Devil, you'd be the biggest fool.
Why?
He'd take you to Hell with him.
True.
As I have learned the game is dependent on your beliefs.
If you think you are being fooled by the Devil then that's what will happen.
If you see into your own life and how you have everyone fooled, then you are the biggest fool, like the most high.
You have them all fooled even though you warn them of your darkness.
The Devil got you out of a few messes that would have delivered you to Hell.
Yes, that's Dion.
It's women that send you to Hell, not the Devil.
As I have said, he is greatly misunderstood.
The Goddess tries to keep you away from him.
Why?
He tells you her secrets.
I get that.
I don't blame her because she is no longer a mystery if you befriend the Devil.
Maybe he's telling you a story about her.
He is.
She's a monster and I see it.
So, you trust the Devil.
Well, it's Dion and yes.
Nobody can walk this path except you.
They run into the Devil and it's game over.
Remember, you are the only one who did what you did.
You befriended the Devil.
It's Dion.

Energy is put to work.

It is rarely at rest.

When we have available energy it is used to do something.

Yes, that's why you are advised to do nothing.

It is demonstrated with money as money motivates energetic reservoirs within human beings.

A being new to the concept of money will spend it as you exchange your power for someone's energy.

We pass it around and then must seek out more money.

As you gain experience you learn to spend with more discretion and try to limit those who will put you into poverty.

When you learn to conserve resources and then make them available in exchange for a reward you will become wealthy.

There are many others desperate for your money, so you give them the present hit and make them suffer in the future through interest.

Or, you can invest in a company's future where you give them your present day capital with the implicit knowledge that you will withdraw your capital in the future when you need it.

It's a system that works for humans.

I doubt it works with youth or outside of human beings.

With some animals it is instinctual to gather food for the winter.

Squirrels and chipmunks are pathological in this regard.

What do you think of bees and ants?

They are matriarchal.

They are hypnotized by the Queen.

Fuck, you're right.

I stood at my Mesa last night and that thought washed over me where I fully understood the warnings against the Goddess' pharmakeia.

Yeah, it's drug use where the addiction is chasing the pleasure she gives you from using her substances.

Most don't get to where you were in that you saw the pull of addiction are the overtures of the Goddess.

If you use an opiate your pleasure centres are rewarded, and you feel bliss.

You don't see the Goddess behind the bliss and she is the pleasure.

I saw her with Ayahuasca the first time I drank it.

I had never really done any kind of drug like that before then, so I came at it with a different perspective.

Ayahuasca is a very difficult experience and doesn't lend itself to addiction due to nausea, diarrhea, and discomfort.

That and your body is drunk, though the next day you don't have an alcohol hangover.

You are very tired though.

The first time I drank Ayahuasca I was immediately in the presence of the Great Goddess.

I felt loved and special.

The scent she gave off was incredible.

I wanted to be in her presence.

She gave me the opportunity to come away with her and I declined.

I knew I would want to revisit this experience, however I didn't give in to her pull.

In subsequent ceremonies I continued to resist her pull.

I didn't understand it at the time, however now that I see through the game, I realize I was being shown the nature of addiction.

The addiction to a substance will probably not present as the direct consequence of the Goddess and her illusions.

There will be something pleasurable that makes you go back for more and I imagine that manifests in many different ways.

I was privy to the underlying mechanism of the Goddess and her drugs, much like the adventures of Odysseus.

It does seem like a story of drugs, witches, and goddesses.

That and emasculation.

If you experiment with drugs and addiction in our culture you will go from alcohol, to cigarettes, to marijuana, maybe magic mushrooms and LSD, amphetamines, and then someone in a spiral of depression and unworthiness will try cocaine and heroin and its derivatives.

The rewards of the Goddess are enough to make you continue on that path and then you pay.

Well, I think the progression leads to your death.

Eventually, how you break free of her illusion leads you to a terrible place, and you want back in the Matrix.

Ah, that's clever.

Anything that can change your vibration will lead you towards awakening.

Changing consciousness allows you to see a little bit beyond the curtain.

The Goddess set up the game so if you use drugs for this purpose you will eventually see something terrible and then like Cypher in the Matrix, you will want back in.

You will either get help to kick the addiction or you perish.

So, beyond the illusion is a terrible place?

No, it's another illusion.

What is beyond the illusion?

Freedom.

From what?

The body and the game.

It can be scary.

A free mind feels crazy and it can scare you.

Remember who you are and you are all good.

It's a game you are playing.

You are at a strange carnival going on rides and playing games.

If you can remember this then you are good.

As long as you are at the carnival you are going to face these struggles.

I have noticed the owners of the amusement park have asked me to leave, told me to leave, and harassed me constantly to leave.

Yes, you are a problem for them.

However, the Great Goddess gave you a cloak of protection, Athena's aegis so they can't get rid of you.

Medusa is on the front of the shield.

Yes, she protects and hates me.

You must voluntarily leave the carnival.

I see that and laugh.

I have taken to the advice of Grandfather Huachuma who told me to remember to play.

I took a picture and wrote it down.

I didn't know how I would use that advice.

As the years have gone by, I realize how important a lesson I received in the Andes mountains in Ecuador at the place of a two-bit sorcerer whose home was a bit of a shithole.

Yeah, so valuable.

It's quite the ride.

What happened the second time you drank Ayahuasca after meeting the Goddess and her centres of pleasure the first time?

It was the worst night of my life.

I went to a deep and dark place and was frightened out of my mind.

I saw my world crashing down before me.

I got very paranoid and ran.

You didn't come away with the Goddess in the first ceremony and so you were shown the result of continuing with her pharmakeia.

That's one way of looking at it.

A crash course in addictive drugs.

I continued drinking Ayahuasca.

Why?

I was seeking knowledge.

I knew of the darkness it could engender and though it scared me, I wanted to continue on in my journey.

I made it known that this is my path and though shaken I was determined to continue on.

I survived all the tests.

I'd do it all again if I knew it would lead me to where I am now.

I don't wish to revisit the adventures I had, but I am eternally grateful for everything.

I wanted to know.