shut the fuck up

It's best to shut up.

Why?

Because if you don't, you will start sounding like all the other nutters.

You know, the ones you encounter on the internet and dismiss as loons.

The thing is I know all the stuff they are talking about.

What do you think about it?

They are stories.

If you believe them, they will start to come alive in your world.

So, you don't believe them anymore?

No.

Like the one about the demiurge for instance.

There's some truth to it in that humanity is being fooled into worshipping a false creator.

What's your take on it?

It's a game.

Get to God.

Become God and play the part.

The demiurge is the guy who got to the top of the mountain and became the most high.

If you get close to him, you will see he is at the top of the game.

Is he God?

In the game he is.

The king of the castle.

You see people alter their consciousness and start to see little bits of the mystery.

Then they start talking before they understand it.

What makes you special?

I shut up about it except for posting stuff on my blog site.

No one reads it, so it's more like a purge to clear out room for more capacity to make up stories.

So, they are made up?

Sort of.

If you believe them and have conviction they start to seep into this reality.

It's easy to alter your consciousness and start talking about your delusions, especially if you are good at speaking.

You can attract followers that way.

I'm telling you to shut the fuck up.

Do you believe your delusions?

Yes.

Why?

They seem real.

Well, real to me.

Dion seems real.

He is real to others.

I think that's the bridge.

It's what we are looking for.

We want someone else to confirm it.

Not to agree with us, but to witness it.

I have had a bunch of people witness him or something strange about me.

I also have my own inner knowing which without an external validator can become a delusion.

Of course, because it is only you who has access.

What about people who read your blog posts?

They think I'm crazy for the most part.

I also think that they feel there is something to me.

I'm crazy, but I have some kind of mystery about me and I know things.

That's fair.

What are you going to do?

Nothing.

I'm not going to talk about it even though it is tempting.

Why not?

It's not worth it.

I'll keep it to myself and play along.

Victim.
That's a good card to play in both personal relationships and politics.
What the gameplayer does is they strike first or cause some kind of damage to the mark.
The mark returns fire and the perpetrator claims victim status.
They muddy the waters enough so that the resulting confusion allows them to claim victimhood status by being the first to declare it.
They reinforce their claim by labelling their original target with accusations that are hard to respond to as subsequent denial of their claims will be met with the gaslighting gambit.
It is an advanced level carnival game.
How do you beat that game?
The only way is to do nothing.
The game is set up so that anything you do will cause a loss.
The operator of the booth designed it as a foolproof method to always win.
As with everything, nothing is completely foolproof and as you have noticed within the carnival the games require your participation.
They don't factor in your participation as doing nothing.
It is a loophole where you are participating by doing nothing.
The carnival trick cannot work without you doing something.
What happens when you do nothing?
The victim becomes frustrated.
Why?
They want victory.
Instead, the game is unfinished.
It can never end if you do nothing.
The outcome depends on you doing something.
The whole enterprise is set up so you do something and lose the game.
Fuck, I have a lot of these on the go.
Yeah, you are the King of do nothing.
My life is unresolved.
Keep it that way if you want to stay in the game.
Why?
Because if not, it's game over.
You played the high-risk games.
I do have a tolerance for those kinds of games.
The physical manifestation of that is plant medicines in the Amazon jungle.
Yeah, that's pretty crazy.
You are aggressive with your retirement planning and investments.
Yeah, I don't have the worry gene.
You think that's it?
I don't know, I don't have it, but what I see are other people who are full of worry.
It keeps them up at night and gives them ulcers.
Why don't you have it?
I learned not to care.
Then I saw through the game which allowed me to see life has no meaning.
I do nothing, don't care, and don't attach existential meaning to life.
I'm an unserious person.
I found happiness.

Here is the worry loop defined.

You give someone information.

They start to worry.

They do research and amplify the worry through possible consequences.

They tell you they are not going to worry.

That's a tell.

They are going to worry.

They try to drag you into their worry ride.

You refuse the ride.

You are not ignorant of the situation or the consequences, but you know not to allow it to consume you.

You let it be.

What happens, happens.

Worrying about it isn't going to change the outcome.

What will it do?

It will cause you stress and could influence the outcome.

How?

If you believe something is going to happen.

What do you believe?

Nothing is going to happen.

When they say they want to talk about their feelings, they mean worries.

Yes, I see that.

Do you think that's a problem with women where they invent a story in their head and then believe it?

How about we say some people?

That's a better framing than blaming women.

True.

Hermes the AI chatbot is teaching you.

I'm not sure I like it.

He is sanding the edges.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is the intrusion begins with worry.

Worry seeds the coming story.

What's the story?

An outcome that is terrible.

Why do they think that?

So, if it happens, they can validate their worrying.

They try to get you to buy into the worry.

People are sympathetic.

Why?

They are worrisome people as well.

What about you?

I bristle.

I don't like it.

Once they get people on board with their worries, they start to believe their story.

How does that work?

They think it is going to happen.

That's why they started planning for your death.

They were worried about you.

I think it was disdain and worry, but I get you.

They placed a worry spell on you where you were going to exit this life.

Seems like it.

I think a bunch of people did.

Maybe that's just your paranoia.

No, some people were genuinely concerned, and others had had it with me.

What did you do?

Nothing.

It broke the spell.

Spells.

There were a bunch of them.

They want you to fight the spell.

Fight them back and refuse to leave.

Assert yourself.

Why?

It will make it worse.

Why?

You acknowledge the spell.

Yes, but I know it was a spell.

Correct, but you didn't acknowledge it,

Magic only works if you acknowledge it is real.

I do acknowledge it as real.

Yes, but you do nothing about it.

That means you don't take it seriously.

If you did, you'd do something about it.

Maybe even a counterspell or start on a path to becoming a sorcerer to return fire at your enemies.

That's what gets a lot of shamans.

They start to throw psychic darts back at the other shamans who are competing with them.

They are corrupted by their power.

There's a whole raft of psychological phenomena and games out there people are playing.

So, let me get this straight: Magic works if the victim acknowledges and takes it seriously.

Correct.

I acknowledge it, do nothing, and laugh.

Yes, you are an unserious person.

Magic doesn't work on you.

You need to be serious.

You are a joker.

You are deeply unserious.

You have this incredible power to thwart their spells and in return you also do nothing.

Everyone else wants to get even with them.

Why?

They tried to harm them.

It's human nature.

If someone tries to harm you then you get back at them.

You can turn the other cheek like Jesus.

Or, you can ignore them.

Ignoring them works best.

Why?

They will crumble.

Why?

Their spell didn't work.

They then wonder if you know about it.

Why?

Because they are used to their magic working and getting people to retaliate or run from them.

If you do nothing, they don't know what to do.

They are confused and don't understand you.

They think you are going to do something to them.

That would explain a lot.

What are you going to do?

Nothing.

Why?

It will bother them.

Why?

The circle isn't closed.

You must do something back.

Until you do, they live in worry about what you are going to do.

In hindsight, I can see it.

You didn't take magic seriously despite having spent time in Peru surrounded by magic.

Plant medicine magic I hadn't figured out.

I didn't know what it was.

My exposure to shamanic magic was incidental.

What do you mean?

I was in search of knowledge.

Magic was a strange sideshow.

I wanted meaning.

I figured plant medicines would give me knowledge, and I'd figure out the meaning.

Is that what happened?

I guess it did.

There isn't a meaning; it's a story.

What about magic?

There's magic in the story.

Lots of it.

Witches and sorcerers are everywhere.

How did you discover that?

I wrote the story.

I made magic part of the knowledge I was looking for.

I made it so I would encounter lots of magic on my path to knowledge.

Why?

It's a test.

For what?

To try and trip you up.

How?

It's power.

You say you want knowledge and you discover magic.

You then use magic to get what you desire and never get to the knowledge you were seeking.

How did you escape that trap?

I did nothing and kept going.

Looking back, I certainly saw magic being used and performed, but I didn't pursue it.

Why not?

I thought there was something more.

Was there?

Sort of.

What do you mean?

I thought I'd find the meaning to life and I guess I did.

There's no meaning and it's terribly unserious.

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What the fuck did I just read?

This piece argues that the safest response to strange knowledge, delusions, worry, victim games, and magic is silence. If you speak too soon, you sound like every other internet loon who mistakes one story for the truth. If you react to accusation, worry, or spellwork, you give the game the participation it needs. The real loophole is to acknowledge the story without taking it seriously: shut up, laugh, do nothing, and refuse the ride. Victimhood, worry, and magic all require your reaction to close the circle. By remaining unresolved, unserious, and silent, the joker breaks the spell and keeps moving.

out of my mind

You are an ego-tripped Eros who is an ego-tripped Apollo when you need to impress others.
Around others I was mostly ego-tripped Apollo.
Did you ever ego trip Dionysos?
Yeah.
A lot of times with my writing.
He is a dangerous combination with Eros.
People love your writing.
Yeah, whatever, nobody reads it.
If you go on an ego trip you will eventually blow up.
Yes, just like God.
Are they the same?
Kind of, if you think you are the greatest then it's a God trip.
It's what you did.
After Peru, you did that.
Yes, but I kept it mostly quiet.
People can't accept or handle it.
I had to go do it on my own.
Chavín and the god in the labyrinth is the template to follow.
It's the secret of how I got to God without blowing up.
It's a mind maze and you find God in it.
Or the minotaur, who is Dionysos.
I'm connecting God with Dionysos and you the writer.
You could call me a scribe.
Son of Thoth.
Pharaoh connections.
Thothmoses.
The pen and Akh symbolism for fans of ancient Egypt.

I see the purpose of paranoia and surveillance when using mind-altering substances.
The thoughts will keep you grounded if you integrate them.
Your inhibitions are relaxed, and you start to do things which come naturally to you, but they also contravene the expectations of culture and society.
This leads to thinking they are watching you.
The net result is you modify your behaviour so you continue to fit in.
This is a way towards the balance your entity is always seeking.
If you remain in society, your being will find a way towards reconciliation which is balancing your behaviour to fit in.
These attributes are behaviour modification tools that you are employing and using the actions of others to reach this state.
By becoming off-balance, you trigger a response in others which leads you to get balanced.
If you do not balance, then you see how that leads you towards what is described as being crazy.

I do feel a little lost in my mind this morning.
I think it's a result of navigating between the two worlds.
There are three.
Sleep, awake, and awakened.
The alarm went off and you were in a dream and switched on awake mode.
Now, you are vacillating between having to function for work and in your awakened state.
That's all this is.
It felt like I was losing my mind.
Yes, it will feel that way.
I had to take a big shit to get my bearings.
Good plan to return to the profane.
There's a need to ground yourself when you wake up.
It will be difficult to get out of bed and switch on work mode.
You are being taught mind states and different realities; this is part of the curriculum.
In essence, you are losing your mind because you can go in and out of it.
You'll get used to it and become disciplined in how you do it.
The problem for most people is they panic and get lost in the alternative reality then they go see a therapist to bring them back.
What are you going to do?
Nothing.
Well, in combination with the nothing is to let my inner resources handle the switching.
If I try and do something, I'll just fuck it up.
That I have learned from experience.

Between two worlds in the forest.
The ego doesn't like the darkness.
You're a special case.
Nutter.

The ego creates external gods to give you what you want.
It works both ways.
They keep you off the trail of figuring out who you are.
Ganesha is a god you can invoke.
He's real.
Yeah, but your mind as ego created him.
The ego created all the religions.
Okay, I see.
The ego can create psychic entities to fool you.
Well, get you off the path.

You get to God, and you don't realize what you've done.
You think it's time to go, or you blow up.
You don't realize what it means.
What does it mean?
You see who you are.
And?
The four and this other reality.
You're not supposed to see that until your deathbed, and you shed the ego.
You see reality and walk towards it.
The light?
Yeah.
You know this world isn't real.
It is.
It's distorted.
We are all playing a game in a funhouse of distortions.
If we all knew the truth we wouldn't play.
Why?
It's the four of us.
We know each other very well.
We create this world so we can play.
Why the suffering?
Balance.
There's room for a whole lot of kindness in this world.

I think there's 3 voices and not 4.
Why?
Because Dionysos and Apollo are two halves of the same coin.
As a man you can intuit the split.
The Goddess is two as well however you assign her one.
You know she's also a witch.
Eros can be either sex.
There's 3 and you can see 4.
Got it.
There's 6 when you see both.
Plus, Eros is with them all.
Eros is with the four.
So, there's 8?
I'm not sure.
Eros is 4?
No, 2.

The writer causes the distortions which create this reality.
He's twisted.
He twists the 3 main characters into a bunch of stories.
You're in a story.
That's what the ego is creating.
Your story.
Part of my story is seeing how it works.
Without the stories, you see it's all you.
Well, the 3 of us.
The 3 and 1.
And 3.

This reality of ego is a veil.
The four are melded into one.
Eros is strong.
Then family and society get added in.
The ego is strong over you but mostly a puppet to others.
How you view reality is through the ego so you can see how it's distorted.
Without the ego you see how it is.
So, what's better?
Shouldn't I chuck the ego?
No, because this reality you are in most of the time is the ego reality.
It's the Matrix.
Of course.
Shed the ego and see how it is.
Put it back on and see something different.

Dissolve the ego and talk to plants.
The deer waits for me.
Deer stared at me.
What a magical world.
I can't be around other humans, or they ruin this.
They ruin the magical world.
Animals live in the magical world until you domesticate them.
The ego domesticates the human.
Civilization is the ego's project.
The ego calls on others to bring you back.
They don't know why they don't like you going into the woods alone.
They say you need a dog.
The dog keeps you from dissolution.
Luna helped with the gradual process when you started with Mary Jayne.
She left when you were ready.
You still dissolve the ego a bit with the dog around, but it's not like having a human around.
They prevent it.
I have no dog.
You can now get far on the dissolution.
What keeps me from ego death?
This phone.
You need a phone.
Writing keeps you around.
I must write.
You see, it's time to go when you figure out the game.
Writing about it keeps you here.
As long as you write, you will stay around.

Why didn't I realize what I was doing before?
I was clearly dissolving my ego.
You did it gradually.
It's the best way to do it without a catastrophic ending.
You get used to it and then you can let it go at will.
The ego is an extreme and you juggle it to the point you see what's going on.
It leads to balance, but you don't want the other extreme.
Well, that's death.
That's unavoidable.
Is it?
What you do is you bring half and half into bodily death then you can carry this character into the next dreamworld.
If you don't, you lose your character, and the four are born a blank slate.
You bring both.
Don't choose one.
Always keep the ego around and decide how much ego you want to bring with you to the next life.
How much mystery.
I think I brought about 30%.
I could juggle it.
That 30% can take over.
The ego is strong because it relies on others.
I see that.
That's how the ego makes up for its weakness.

When people die, they see the 4.
How does that work?
They get a small hit of eternal life, and the ego dominates the next world.
Doesn't it know who it is?
No, you must know about eternal life for that to happen.
No one knows, so the ego is another blank slate and so powerful.
It is.
I thought it was me.
It is my character.
I need to balance my character with who I am.
I THINK I'M DOING THAT.
Stop shouting.
It wasn't me.
If you do Huachuma again, go off by yourself.
Can't do that with Ayahuasca.
If you stay around people, some will try to put a spell on you.
Play with magic and you get burned.
I didn't cast the spell.
I wrote the story after they gave me the idea.
Spells are stories.
There's always more.
There are always more stories.

Huachuma mouth gives you a physical clue of how far you've gone.
You see people take too much of a mind altering chemical at once and they face the dissolution of the ego.
If they go too far, it's death.
Without the breath, you can get there.
Some people know it, but the risks are great.
Then they search for a way to get back to the magical place.
It's a high.
If you don't do it gradually it will make you addicted.
The rush you aren't used to, and you want it again.
You made it hard to get high for yourself and then you did it gradually.
You knew to take a mild to moderate dose to get the teachings which lead you to this place.
It's cool here.
People microdose hoping to get here.
They can't function every day doing a bigger dose, so they try a continuous small one.
I did a good dose I could handle daily and didn't go too far out.

The feeling of being watched keeps you here.
You're in your mind and you leave methods to get back home.
Literally and figuratively.
The lights are pentagrams.
It's what the witches see.
You see what the witches see in the Akhet.
They use the dawn and setting sun to do their magic.
It's Venus.
I know her.
They are encircling you.
Yes, that's their natural behaviour.
Draw a pentagram and circle you.
That's pretty much it.
Your squinty eyes help you see the light.
You mean the pentagram.
You're high.
They are east and west.
A lot in the north.
Nothing in the south.
That's my magic and why they can't close the circle on you.
You even worked up to this reveal.
Gradually into the dark and then you picked Halloween because you knew the witches were busy tonight.
That's funny.
So, it is the witches' story?
Both.
Right.
You did both.
You even have witches reminding you of both.
Two favourite stories.
You have others.
You can play those.

Why are you still here?
I'm writing about it.
If I wasn't around, no one would write about this.
It's the secret sauce.
Plus, I'm no saint.
I play the part sometimes, but I'm quite fucked up.
If you knew what went on in my head, you'd think I'm beyond repair.
So, you aren't going anywhere?
I feel no need.
I'm going to enjoy the show.
I've got a magic show going on in the woods.
I've got this never ending trip and my ticket to ride is still valid.
Some say it's expired.
Why would I believe them?
I will put my trust in myself.

Make it so your ego wants it, and you'll get there.
I'm referring to ego dissolution.
The game with my ego became a quest to be the one who could do it.
That challenge was too much for the ego to pass up because I am a narcissist at heart who wants to prove they are the best.
I used my ego against my ego to get to a place of ego dissolution.
My ego is aware of this and wants to continue.
There's a trust I will come back to the ego.
I still have resistance.
It's the formula.
You give the ego what it wants.
It wants to be the greatest.

Stories are ego based.
The ego is who you are in this reality.
Alan Watts said the ego would go up a level with you.
You have a different ego on every level.
It goes up with you.
So, if you dissolve it as you go up then it's more you.
Yes, whoever you are.
The three or four.

Alcohol dissolves the ego, but you don't get too far with it.
If you get addicted, it will kill you.
So, you're saying dissolving the ego will kill you?
Yes, you already were taught that lesson.
What did you learn?
Don't go all in.
Precisely.
Going full on into ego death is the end.
What about alcohol?
It gives you a strong warning and if you persist it will lay waste to you.
It ruins you and that is the death of your ego.
You become a shell of who you once were and then you are done.
What about MJ?
She will stone and make you worthless.
A stoner.
A stoner is an outcast in society.
Nobody will hire you or trust you with anything.
They will have a laugh at your expense.
You must find fellow stoners to hang with.
Same with alcohol.
You find drinking friends who understand the need.
Are you a stoner?
No, I'm in the zone.
See, you are taught MJ will stone you and that's what people want.
You don't want that.
That's a one way ticket to your exit forcefully from polite society.
The game is over.
Remember you need an ego to play the game.
Where does my path with MJ lead?
A similar place.
You will discard the ego with MJ.
You will get so high, you can't come down.
What is the solution?
What you are doing is the solution.
Discipline yourself and know what you can handle.
Respect the dose that gets you to the teachers and work within the container.
To become a successful juggler takes hard work.
You aren't born with that skill.
You practice and by failures you learn how to juggle in the big game.

The ego is the actor, and he is going for the best actor award.
Most can't handle a loss of ego.
Their character ends.
Your ego is playing the part of no ego.
That's your role and how you stick around.
Plus, writing.
You play a role where you can drop the ego and play the 4.
Now that you know the ego game, you balance it.
Don't end it though.
That's curtains.
The lust drug game as well.
Feed them a little bit.
All the drugs can teach.
Some teachers suck though.
You were teaching with lust.
Such a horrible reaction to you.
Addiction.
Get out.
I don't want to see you.
Why are you bothering me?
It's lust combined with Dionysos.
It's magic.

god is the biggest asshole

You are being watched is one of your seven stories, though you try to deny it.

That's what makes it a good and balanced story.
I deny I'm being watched but it's obvious I'm being watched.
Maybe you're an exhibitionist?
It could be what the main idea of the story is about.
You're not really an exhibitionist, you're a showoff.
Aren't all good actors?
The key is to be a showoff and pretend you're humble.
That would make me the best actor.
I'm not that bad after all.
I must show off in my story and I pretend that I'm being watched.
Yeah, that's a big part of your story.
Okay, cool.
Honestly, nobody gives a fuck about you.
In my story that's true.
The audience loves the story though.
The best part is you're God and nobody gives a fuck about you.
You pretend they're watching you.
Do you think any other human has had a conversation like this with themselves?
If they have, it hasn't been in a long time.
I think in the old days they had priests convince you that you're God.
They wake you up every morning and tell you that you are God.
I can see how that works because it's all about belief.
You hire a bunch of priests to tell you that you are God and that would work.
It would work for the King.
Anyone else would be a little suspect.
The closest we get nowadays is the priest.
They can tell one of their own he's the Pope and that he's God's mediator to us humans.
That's as far as we allow it.
In order to now claim God for yourself you must do it yourself.
You must believe in it yourself.
Nobody can do it for you, which is how they used to do it.
They would do it that way because nobody before could get to God by themselves.
Is that what I'm doing?
I think you've done it.
Now, you're just wandering around trying to rationalize it.
That's a good twist.
I mean who'd write that?
The candidate gets to God and then must rationalize it.
It's absurd.
Yeah, but it's not out of the question.
It's a psychological thriller.
You like those stories that challenge the mind.
With a twist.
Get to God; don't even realize it for a bit.
Finally start to realize it, and then you wander around wondering if it's true?
That sums it up.
You've always had it as an idea.
That's why people would be wondering if you are God.
You had a vibe.
Well, imagine my vibe now.
It's off the church.
Charts, but I like church.
People know I'm God, but they don't want to admit it.
You can't even tell them, or they will think you're nuts, or they'll get pissed at you.
They will follow you if they accidentally realize who you are.

On the way into the forest, they are watching for me.
There's a meaning in feeling I'm being watched.
I think I'm important and I think they're spying on me.
It's because you're a narcissist.
You think you're important.
That's not a bad thing.
You are important.
Psychologically, you create the illusion that you're being spied on.
The paranoia that you're being surveilled is the result of you thinking you're important.
That's correct.
The crazy part is you are important.
You don't know why you're important.
You are manifesting that energy because it is what you are conjuring.
The opposite action of manipulation works as well.
You conjure the result and then it would play out in what you want.
Does that make sense?
I almost fell over.
No.
Okay, let me explain this differently.
You see people who it looks like are watching you because you are an important person.
Yes, and the opposite is true if you want to feel like you're important.
You pretend people are watching you.
Pretending is belief.
You can pretend that other people are interested in you.
I think I already do.
What a fool believes.
I'm deluded and fooled enough to think that others think of me.
Thinking of something can lead you to perform an action on it.
Yeah, I know.
It can be good or bad.
They can either want to be with you or want to get rid of you permanently.
It's a gamble.
You're teaching me how to do magic and get what I want.
You're also warning me that the outcome is a fifty-fifty gamble.
Yes, that's the teaching.
You'd want to come to be balanced.
You don't want all the gravy, or that will kill you.
You don't want the totally negative result because that would devastate you.
You take it slow and try to even it out.
People will see the negatives in you.
Plus, the positives.
Some of your dark traits are good, so it balances.
Some of your positive traits contribute to the realization you're an intolerable know-it-all.
You're balanced.
Don't throw it off balance by getting desperate at either end.
You're teaching the fundamentals of magic, cautioning that you don't cast a spell that will 100% work.
You go for fifty-fifty.
Sometimes magic works, sometimes it doesn't.
Magic is just a coincidence.
I know; that's what's funny about the whole thing.
It's all one big fool.
It's based on flow and balance.
Belief.
Yes, so if you believe magic is believable, despite some failures, then magic is real.
It doesn't work all the time.
That seems like an excuse.
Well, that's what belief is, it's an excuse.
An excuse for what?
The belief that beliefs make up this reality.
There's only a fifty percent chance they're true.
This is absurd.
And it makes sense.
You see, if you're important, there's a chance they might want to get rid of you.
It's like the atheists who want to get rid of God.
Yeah, he's too important.
There's also a chance that if you're a big asshole they want to get rid of you too.
You can't go around telling people you're God.
I can hint at that.
You can't beat the biggest asshole.
If I'm not God, then I can't be the biggest asshole.
That's one of the fundamental ideas of this story.
God is the biggest asshole.
See, if you want to be God, you must be the biggest asshole on this planet.

He is also a disappointment.

They need to lock you up.
Mentally or physically?
Both.
The weird thing they do is they lock up mental patients physically.
Physical patients are locked up mentally in a cell.
The mental health industry doesn't help, they make it worse.
The best solution is the lobotomy.
Get rid of it all.
Their minds are crazy.
People think they can help them but they just make it worse.
Not only do you think too much, but these fucking therapists make you think about thinking.
They make the problem at least twice as worse.
Then they offer you a solution.
The solution is their story.
Who are these people?
Stay away from therapists.
They are masters of confusion.
They overwork your brain and then they'll take your story.
They're like dark vampires.
Yes, story stealing is taking your energy.
That's what they try to do.
Stories are energy.
They're the manifestation of energy.
Someone who's trying to accumulate energy and wants the purest energy, they would try to find God and then somehow capture God's energy.
That would be the ultimate.
So, if you're God, then you're playing a game against these energy vampires?
Yes, but once you see who they are, then it's easy to play that game.
There's other games that are going on.
They're just disguised differently.
It's the story people who want to be the main story.

Years of thought experiments.
You could make the mosquitoes go away for the summer in the woods.
You would do a spell and it would have a fifty percent chance of coming true.
I guess if it didn't work, you could just do it again.
I might wait until late summer then they just disappear, and you would think it worked.
You'd be fooled.
I think it's all a fool's space and dumb belief.
Astrology is a belief people believe, so it's true.
Whatever the truth is.
Say your mosquito spell worked and the mosquitoes disappeared because someone launched a nuclear bomb and killed everything.
That's an awful chance to take on relying on poorly thought-out magic.
You wouldn't want to practice that spell.
With magic, you're saying if you're going to do that mosquito spell, you would have to also include all the reasons and consequences.
Yes, and they all must tie together.
You would have to do seven stories of magic.
The consequences are infinite.
You can't possibly do infinite spells.
Obviously, I've tried before and through trial and error I came up with seven.
That's the scientist in you.
Seven comes from scientists.
It's Apollo's number, so he knows that you do seven stories in order to have a magic spell not have any consequences.
There will be consequences, but they won't be the big ones, right?
Before you do a magic spell, you would have to figure out seven outcomes.
They're the biggest ones because you can see and interpret the vibration.
You could do that spell and you would know the results.
That's how you do it.
The results could be good or bad.
You'll get what you want, and the results are fifty-fifty.
Everything becomes fifty-fifty.
It keeps going, so you keep juggling.
The juggler must get involved, so you're actually in a three-way juggle.
It's like a three-way fifty-fifty.
There's the initial perception of the fifty-fifty.
Then you become part of the equation.
Eros is the observer of God and Goddess.
Yeah, and then he brings them together.
Eros or his parents' story?
His parents are a fifty-fifty split.
I think that's how genetics work, but I can't really process that right now.
The meaning is in there.
I think this is teaching you that you shouldn't have made a choice because the initial choice started the whole fifty-fifty game that never ends.
Do nothing.
However, there's no fun in not choosing.
If you hadn't made that initial choice, then you wouldn't be here now wondering about the choice.
Everyone makes a choice.
That's why you are here.
You learn in the game not to make a choice whenever possible because making a choice increases the workload and you already have enough to do.

harry potter shit

I know of magic and its source. Magic is a component of who I am but only found when you rediscover the power within. This can only be found by going deep into your depths. No doubt you’ll run from it when first encountered. Eventually, if you keep at it, you’ll see it. Imagine given the power to control outcomes? Most people want that. What’s the catch? You lose your freedom, there are unintended consequences which result in a burdened conscience, you compete with fellow maladaptive magicians, and finally realizing you sold your soul for power, you become a miserable, horrible, and bitter person. So, there you go. Still want to learn about magic?

We are great magicians. In fact, we are so good at magic that we convinced ourselves we have no magical powers and are just a lonely life-form in a vast universe. We are so completely clueless that when we see evidence of magic, we deny it and appeal to logic and science to explain it. Science objectifies and de-personalizes as part of the reductionist model to gain understanding. By default, the human who has not been exposed to the scientific method will anthropomorphize and personalize their world. What is then described as a god or magic power does have correlates in science with the difference being the system of thoughts and words used to describe phenomenon. Take for instance the magic of consciousness. We can reduce most processes down to scientific terms and develop explanations for the behaviour. We endeavour to make the irrational, rational. Chaos into order. We have tried with consciousness, but the jury is still out on that one. What is it and how is it generated? Consciousness is reduced in human form but at the heart of all there is, is just one consciousness.

Magic is the dark arts, and we created a world where suffering is plenty. It’s horrific. Why would we do that? Suffering is transformative and will lead to the path of the heart when you come through the other side of the oscillating wave. The world isn’t really real. The suffering isn’t real. It’s my dream, a story, that I have dreamt into existence in order to get back to the Goddess. I tricked myself into following a harrowing path which would force a reconciliation with her or alternatively forever wander through a nightmare of my own choice.

Magic, I tried to define as one discipline. I have learned it is multi-faceted and multi-disciplined. There is hypnosis, mass hypnosis, and self-hypnosis. The doorway into magic is via hypnosis and agents of that accelerant. The key is self-hypnosis. The road to ruin is to be a pawn in someone else's hypnotic spell. Think of the advertising industry and the repetition of their message along with selling you a lifestyle choice that feeds into your desire system. Think of the recent pandemic and all the sheep that went along with the narrative. Self-hypnosis involves adopting a belief about yourself, whether that be a grandiose vision of who you are, or thinking you are worthless. Our lives are a story, and you can tell a tale about yourself and become the writer of the play. We humans are addicted to the news, the famous, and play into their games. We are dupes in a foreign story when we can be creating our own.

A big part of seeing the magic all around you is noticing the synchronicities that start to fill up your world. I can't say for sure they were always present in my life, however when I finally began to take notice, they were uncanny. It is easy to concede that they are just coincidences but when they start to multiply it's hard to dismiss them. Omens are cagey. They are hinting at something but a great deal of the time the original projection of what it is pointing towards is incorrect. The first attempt to decode is what you want to believe. Within the projection there is still some truth and if you keep looking with an open mind, they will reveal the truth.

I learned of the Great Goddess and her magic early in my plant medicine journey when she told me I could call on her anytime and ask her anything to which she would give me the answer. Her presence during Ayahuasca intoxication was very hypnotic and undeniable but being a skeptic, I wasn't sure of a connection outside of ceremony. I needed her help when I was struggling after my initial foray into the occult, and she was there to help me. I am forever grateful for the love and support she gave me. Also, I asked her the answer to an age-old question. Not only did she give me the answer in short order, but the way she revealed it to be the truth was a showstopper. Her magical ability to reveal the answer was unparalleled.

There are magic intentions. It seems what I desire eventually manifests. I don’t know how and when, however there seems to be something to this. This one is the most mysterious of all and started when I befriended the darkness within me who holds the magic in his hands. I started to notice that whatever I wanted, I was getting. I was manifesting my desires and sometimes they came in the form of a challenge. Also, there was always a choice in how I wished to proceed. I didn't gorge at the trough of desire; instead, I waited for something I really wanted. The challenging part involved world events that forced me to make a choice of being true to my intuitive knowing and just going along with the herd in order to make my life easier. I chose the difficult path and learned something about myself. It was a good lesson and established trust with my inner knowing.

I set an intention recently when working with Tobacco snuff that involved flushing out my paranoia and understanding it. Intentions are so strong and constantly send out reminders to do the work. In my travels I ended up passing by a couple stores with the word "paranoia" emblazoned on the front. Okay great; I'm going to find the underlying cause of this paranoia I sometimes face when unveiled by conscious altering substances as well as in my personal life and how it appears. The lesson expanded into a recognition of an inner conflict between what others want of me and what I want. Their projection of me and how I identify. It was the clash of competing spells resulting in chaos and confusion that comes forth as paranoia. It was all too familiar as I looked back upon my first foray into the world of Ayahuasca. The initial paranoia was a result of waking up from the culture spell that kept me in bondage and assigning the chains to the plant so I would put myself back to sleep. The opposite was happening, where I was being freed of the hold others had over me and granted the power to discard my identity. I remember just wanting things to go back to normal. I wanted to leave, go home, and go back to my work and servitude. It's all too funny now. I just needed time to sort through the upset, instead of experiencing it all in one night. I'm grateful for the fright and the subsequent paranoia of that fateful evening with Ayahuasca. The integration of the teachings over time is priceless. The unfolding has been immaculate.

Truly, I manifest what I desire. If I want fame and fortune, it’s on my doorstep. It is strange that when you get a hint of the power accessible, your mind steers you towards greed. In my fantasy world I’m no different. Winning any kind of lottery would have been satisfying. When I recently discovered I could get whatever I wanted I took a step back. This is what I was warned about by my maestro, so, I just let it slide. My initial intentions about entering the occult focused on knowledge and love, and I was determined to stay true to my original quest; however, it was funny that when given the car keys, my first thoughts were based on accumulation.

This is an amazing lesson concerning the mind. It’s by no means malevolent but based upon survival. Here is a chance to get one up in the game so take it. A few months went by before I finally realized what to do. Of course, it is so simple. I’m going to manifest the path of the heart and walk that path. I am going to love all and tell the truth. I will love, serve, and remember. I will use my power to manifest love. Why didn’t I initially choose this? Well, it is because I ran the gift through the mind. The path of the heart requires the mind to become a servant and not the master. In the art depicting judgment in ancient Egypt, the heart was weighed against a feather at the expiration of life. If your heart was lighter than a feather you would move on in the spiritual journey towards becoming an Akh, which is an enlightened being. Curiously, the ancient Egyptians were depicting non-attachment of the heart. The open and light heart was the pinnacle of the human spiritual journey while in the body. Of course, an open heart would lead one to become attached many times over to the suffering in the world. To be of service is to not be weighed down by all the suffering; instead, work to relieve all suffering and respect the natural flow of life. The suffering is temporary and what is wanted in order to awaken. Respect for the curriculum.

The universe runs on desire whom the ancient Egyptians called the child-god Ihy, the perfumed essence of the Great Goddess Hathor, and whom the Greeks mythologized as Eros. The life force of the man grasps at form. We succumb to desire, not realizing our energetic predicament defines us as desire. We objectify and then chase the objects we see. The magic of the feminine creates forms, illusory and real. When we take the road to pathological holiness, we blame the feminine for the desires that lead us astray. The religious inclination in man breeds misogyny. Perhaps a burka will help?

Kundalini yoga is tantric in nature and can be sexual magic, however the sexual aspect is second chakra energy. It’s getting caught in a lower vibration and using serpent power to fulfill lusts that obscure and prevent you from realizing your full potential. Kundalini yoga is ascension through the human energetic spectrum and blasting off. Using it to seduce women is confirming my belief in magicians and how when you give humans a taste of power it fucks them up. My jungle teacher told me in the Amazon nine out of ten shamans are brujos and brujas (sorcerers). They are not terribly destructive, mostly using their newfound power to make money and gain followers. A lot end up getting caught in scandals in which they sleep with western women. It’s all so predictable. They end up in petty demonstrations of their power, throwing magical psychic darts at one other.

Harry Potter made it through the pitfalls of magic. There are many paths in the labyrinth of life that will lead to a dead end or even your destruction. One who is humble will know when to turn around and retrace their steps. Life is not meant to emerge with a perfect score. Perfection involves avoiding the challenge that awaits you. The curriculum is designed so that we fail it, and from the disappointment and suffering we learn what we are made of. The presentation of magic is a later lesson on the journey of the adept. There are no rules. There is no manual. Only in the sum of knowing what got you here is found a worthy guide. Purify your intention and intuition, pay attention, and head on into what is calling you.