real reality

I think don Howard was teaching that the stories of the mind will kill you.

I imagine he suffered from depression and found a way out.

It was through Huachuma and no mind.

No mind will lead to shedding all your attachments and that will kill you as well.

The solution is balance but I definitely see how if your mind is killing you then you would want the peace that no mind would bring and the medicine for that is Huachuma.

The biggest difference for you is your mind is your rock and other people's minds cause them suffering.

Why is that?

Acceptance.

They fight the other.

Aren't you concerned you rely too much on the mind?

No.

Why?

It's dual.

I go between Paul and Dion.

I am not stuck on one.

There's no struggle in my mind.

It's friendship.

Email scams are funny.

As humans, do we all have that in us?

Are we all trying to rip each other off or if our situations called for it, would we try to get advantages through deception?

I'd say yes and I practice deception in a more deceptive manner.

Your body tells you when to sleep, shit, and eat.

It is not deceptive.

You can trust the body.

You can't trust nobody.

You mean the mind.

Yes.

Why do you trust your mind?

It was a process to get to the point where we could trust each other.

I keep thinking about the case of the herd ganging up on me to get me to go.

Some had plans in place; they let that slip out.

When they spend time with other members of the herd, they get re-assimilated.

I think that's what happens subconsciously where they all have groupthink, and they direct the thoughts towards you.

Some are like innocent bystanders who are hypnotized into the collective and regurgitate what they are told.

That works for society in general.

You can't trust others, you don't know who is controlling their mind.

You can trust yourself because you know who is controlling your mind.

How do I know?

You are beyond the pale.

If you are part of the herd, it will be reflected in your actions.

The proof is in the pudding.

I don't spend time with the herd.

This is a major finding in terms of the mind and the collective overmind.

You mean the superego, the herd, the collective, the greater good, community.

All that bullshit.

How do you get away from them?

It's near impossible.

How do you do it?

I keep to myself.

I go for walks by myself into the solitude of the woods.

I don't mingle with the herd.

It's tough to do.

Individually, people know that the herd is not good for them.

They go along with it and do nothing about it.

You do nothing.

Yes, but I stay away from the herd.

You know, you can't say anything about this.

I know.

People will tell you that you are crazy.

They are looking for ammunition.

If I were you, and I am, I'd fool them.

Make that your game.

Make it fun.

Why does this reality feel real?

It's a container for the mind.

In the other realities, the mind is unbounded.

Anything can happen.

This reality has limits.

You mean physics?

Yes.

I would posit that you are born with a split mind.

One half is then buried.

The herd or hive mind is then enabled.

Your mind, having buried its strength, succumbs to the superego.

This collective rules over you, shepherding you onto paths which benefit the whole and not you.

You don't know this.

You aren't you until you wake up.

What you wake up is the other half of you that you buried in childhood.

This other half then tells you about the herd.

Some just want the other half to go back to sleep, so they can return to their comfortable life of servitude.

The struggle will cause you to think you have a mental illness.

There are drugs and therapy to hypnotize you back into a state of acceptance.

Mary Jayne pulls you away from the superego.

That's when the mental health problems begin.

It's the separation from the herd which makes you think you are crazy.

Older people have a better chance of getting through the upset.

By a certain age there's a good chance you are fed up with the herd.

Everything is real in your mind.

It's not constrained.

That's why I have you write fantasy.

If you write reality, it sucks.

It's constrained.

You leave it alone because I wrote that you realized the fantasies the mind comes up with are unbounded and then you bring them into this world.

The Goddess weaves them into reality.

She makes them fit and work in this earth container.

So, blue-sky a fantasy and then try to make it work.

mary magdalene

Twisted Mary Magdalene you kiss on the lips to transfer your wisdom and knowledge.
She braids her hair.
The story is her idea, and I write it.
She is the twisted one, not me.
I am sane and she is crazy.
She makes you crazy.
You are the only one who can handle her level of crazy.
I do tell myself that as well as her.

Do you think the prophets of antiquity were drug users?
That seems obvious though I doubt there was a stigma attached to the use of substances.
It was an accepted rite of passage for all humans.
The attempts to control who had access to them would be found in prohibitions against further prophecies and divination.
This led to the conflation of women, witches, and drugs.
Women would practice what was called pharmakeia in the Bible and were singled out as witches.
Men would use drugs for their fantastical tales of dragons and gods while women would use drugs to practice magic and ensnare.
Circe not only ensnared men, but also animals.
Yes, Homer wrote of the connection between women and drugs.
Odysseus was their main prize, and they took him away from family and civilization.
He had quite the adventure.
I am currently thinking Homer was warning men that a woman is a drug.
Do you think he was the world's first misogynist?
He is a contender.

There is a purported Mary Magdalene line of witches who escaped to France.
I could write that tale.
Everything will line up, and I will be the one who wakes Mary up to the realization of who she is.
She feels it when she sees pictures of Mary.
There's something about Mary.
Her hair is curly, she braids it, and likes to be witchy.
No one can tolerate her except for you.
You came along and fulfilled the prophecy.
I am special.
It's a Neo from the Matrix tie in as I always thought I was special.
Aren't I deluded?
In a sense you are.
If you maintain connection to your mundane life and society then these tales you tell are fantasies that exist in another world.
They are fairy tales.
However, you have been shown you can make them real; real as in believable and act out the drama.
You weave all the stories together and that is the craft of Tantra or in biblical parlance, a hairdresser who braids.
You can make the delusion come alive.
I guess in a way that would be vindication that I'm not crazy.
To traverse planes of consciousness is inviting in craziness as the lack of a concrete reality becomes too much for a human mind to handle.
So, how do I do it?
Return to this reality after you play out the story.
That's what happens to people - they lose touch with this reality.
For some, this requires a full stop, therapy, and rest.
They are then pronounced healed.
It sounds like a modern day exorcism.
Well, yes, Jesus cast the 7 demons out of Mary Magdalene.
Those 7 demons were the 7 stories in her head.
There are 7 levels of consciousness.
Well, there's an infinite amount but I understand you concentrate on 7 in order to get to a divine level of understanding.
Any more than 7 is unmanageable.
There are enough stories to craft within the 7.
Wouldn't I trigger stories in others?
You mean make them crazy?
Yes.
That's what you do, and they think you are fucking with their mind.
In a sense that's what I'm doing.
I'm not doing it maliciously, rather I'm showing them possibilities.
I'm of service.
That's your path of service.
You wake people up and show them stories.
Why did Jesus cast the 7 stories out of Mary Magdalene?
She was suffering from the knowledge.
He pushed her reset button and then took it slow.
Do you think he ever made a move on her?
He was a man.
He did but kept it quiet.
If anyone found out that would ruin his reputation.
Jesus' game was to get all of humanity to recognize him as the King after his death.
Once remembered by all, he could return.
That's his deal.
His story.
The Mary Magdalene affair sullies his reputation.
Why?
Because he banged a witch and a whore.
What's wrong with that?
It's not acceptable in society.
It still isn't.
You can't go around having affairs with witches.
But they are the best.
Yes, but they are off-limits to a holy man.
So, that's Jesus' secret?
Yes, if people knew they wouldn't remember and worship him anymore.
That's a good story.
The moral of the story is if you want to become ultra-holy like Jesus you will be attracted to whores.
Yes, you will hang out with them.
Then it becomes a mystery if you give in to temptation.
What's the temptation?
Women.
They are the greatest temptation known to man.
So, you are suggesting Mary Magdalene was the first femme fatale.
A power so great she felled the son of God.
Yeah, of course she would set her sights on the biggest catch and succeed.
I don't know, he's kept it quiet for this long and all we have are salacious rumours.
I don't think you give Jesus enough credit.
He was a player.
It makes for a great story.

Mary Magdalene gives you wisdom and knowledge.
Yes.
The understanding is a byproduct.
The path towards what it is you seek goes through a woman.
This woman is a witch.
When you see and understand this, you see the Goddess.
The Goddess is the other side of the witch.
You look up at the heavens and you see the Queen of Heaven.
It's Mary Magdalene.
Well, that's a fantastical tale.
Yes, it redeems me from my misogyny.
You just have to trust and stick with this writer until the end of the story.

menagerie

My own personal world that I have brought into existence is crumbling before me. The hell I incarnated into for reasons is being destroyed. I see pandemics, wars, famine, natural catastrophes, increasing polarization, and insanity all on the rise. Dear friends have departed, and my life has inexorably changed. The writing is on the wall.

My existence is so profound. I say that because my dream which I conjured to fulfill my desires has been impeccably stitched into the fabric of existence by the master weaver. The Great Goddess created the material world out of many patterns and the quilt she made is stunning. I am a part of the universal quilt and within my lifetime I was able to see my place within the blanket of existence and realize my own story which is different than everybody else's story. The menagerie I constantly marvel at. The storylines that intermingle and collide are legendary.

The signs of the coming apocalypse are unique to each and every one of us. I'm at the point in my dream where both chronologically and from a real-time perspective, I see the end converging. I'm in the second half of my life, so of course I am more keenly aware of my mortality. As I look out into this world I share with many others, I also see the end. Perhaps it's just my perspective and my dream is ending because I'm fully awake. I can see through the curtain, so I'm no longer mesmerized by the play. I guess when that happens, the drama detours off towards the end of the performance. A re-write is commissioned and the story arcs towards completion. The actor fulfilled his role and rode off into the sunset. The award shows for my performance await!

What's the story of my life? What role did I just play to perfection? I remember an Ayahuasca vision of the great actor. He appeared at a point in my search for meaning where I started to see beyond the veil. I was transforming from a scared seeker of truth into a warrior who would slay the dragon and ascend the mountain. The story was reaching the climax where I would encounter the antagonist and rise to the challenge. Once I became the conquering hero, I would search for love. The story ends when I learn to love. I have found the path of the heart and I know what's left. Eventually, on the path of the heart you will reach a point where you have to fire the jailer who keeps the Goddess, your heart, imprisoned. Spoiler alert - you're the jailer. This is the last chapter and thus the peripheral storylines are all coming to an end as well.

The great actor I met in vision I laughed at. He was playing the part of a struggling actor who lacked purpose and identity, mirroring my own life. Here is my written account of the vision:

Then to my right at this carnival scene a car on tracks drove up to me. I understood it to delineate a transition of scenes. The driver was very funny and played the part well, so I complimented him on his skills and asked if he was an actor. He said no, and I said he should pursue it. He thanked me and then I innately knew the scene needed to change so I said he should go. I looked away, paused, and looked back and he was still there though once again an inner knowing was clear this part of the vision was over and needed to come to an end. Finally, he left, I waved, he did a jump and a click of his heels and departed. Then he stopped and tried to do more acting and be funny. I told him he had gone too far and wasn't funny anymore. He said Awwwwww and left.

The actor is me and at that point I didn't know I was an actor, so when asked I denied knowing my role. An actor playing an actor. What a great story and the perfect appearance of the actor in my own play. I told him he wasn't needed at this point as I was still heavily invested in the drama. I told him to leave as I wanted to see this part of the chapter to its natural ending. The actor understood and proceeded to leave, clicking his heels, and waiting for my adoration. It wasn't coming. There was no applause at this point, instead I told him it was time to go. The actor appears when the chapter is ending. I'll probably be seeing him again soon.

Who are the greatest writers of all time? Shakespeare, Homer, Austen, Dostoevsky, Tolstoy, Bronte? They all touched on the human journey and our morbid condition. They grappled with absurdities and adventure with aplomb. May I suggest it is you, dear disciple of Dionysos, who is not only the greatest writer of all time, but also the greatest actor. I salute you and award you the greatest of all honours. Well done!

plant medicine synthesis

The feminine weaves together the container, both the universe and the body. The masculine spirit gives the objects the juice, which makes it all come alive. The feminine decelerates energy into form and then the masculine goes to work to enliven it. This is the dance of life and defines existence. It's a game of push and pull and the cycle of appearances creates the motion which defines time. The objectification combined with the hide and seek act of coming and going creates life as we know it. Our world is defined by cycles.

The masculine is active energy while the feminine is passive. The feminine is the rock of ages. She is linear time. The eternal soul who is omnipresent. The masculine comes and goes and rules the cosmos, a member of an intergalactic band of misogynists; however, he is nothing without her. She creates the container, and he is the current which brings the biological to life. When the container weakens, the life force destroys itself, and is free once again, on the universal prowl for another place with which to incarnate.

The feminine is eternal and unchanging, yet she participates in the game of the man. She is the springboard which allows the light of the masculine to enliven the universe. The masculine is cyclical; always coming and going. The essence of who you are through the feminine is the heart and the appearances are the iterations of self through the life force of the masculine. To rediscover and answer the eternal question of who am I, is to find the path of the heart and walk back home. You are made of love and powered by light. You are love and your appearances are patterns of light energy.

Through Huachuma, I was metaphorically shown the masculine galactic travellers who use the human body as a battery. The body can ingest food stores and convert foodstuff into energy. The virus-like reptilian invader inhabits the body and biologically comes forth. It's a parasitical relationship at its core, though the word parasite is prejudicial in that the union is beneficial to both parties. A few cosmetic changes were in the offing. Lose the tail and do something about the prevalence of hair. The woman will never be happy, so she adorns herself with the latest fashion, and paints her face. Ha ha. Oh, and perfume please. These beasts smell really bad. We the parasites have transformed the human ape into a new species. It can be argued that the new human species has been detrimental to the health of the planet, and to that I will not argue.

The knowledge and visions of this relationship were disturbing. I didn't get the metaphor at first and took it literally. Why am I being shown these galactic misfits who abuse biological forms? I was shown how like a virus they invade the host and the environment and strip the surroundings of their natural resources. We dig and drill into the Great Mother and strip her bare. We try to discover her secrets of life but never get to the core answer. We want the ability to create life without her. We are at the A.I. robot stage. Ultimately, it is love which she uses to create form and something we don't understand. The knowledge I was given through plant medicines was of a race of intergalactic misogynists who roam the universe. In other words, the spirit. It's a true representation of man, that I can't argue. We are the adventurers, while the feminine is the nurturing soul who reminds us every now and again of love. Originally, I was recruited to become a leader of one of these galactic tribes to which I declined. Subsequently, I had Ayahuasca visions of these crazed misogynists.

When I snuffed Vilca later in my consciousness journey, I was shown the enlightened among this viral-like race. I reached this place where there were beings made of love and powered by light. It was the result of what we seek because we gave up the impetus to conquer and rape. Instead, we embraced love. When we discovered the love of the feminine, all that we were seeking was given to us. We then transformed into these diamond-like shining creatures of love and light.

I'm at the point in my journey where I was looking for origin answers. I don't ask for much though I know if I do ask, I will get the answers. The Great Goddess promised me such an outcome. I don't abuse the privilege. I asked a few weeks ago for the answer to who we are and what it is we seek. As with most questions I now become curious about, I already had the knowledge. I had just had to put it all together and understand it. World events conspire with visionary medicine to reveal what it is you are looking for. We each manifest our life according to our desires. We can fulfill what it is we really want. Find out why you are here, and then walk that path back home. You will be amazed as everything unfolds in due time and what it is you seek is found. What you raged at as an injustice was in fact teaching you and leading you to the answers you sought. The events of our existence are disparate events that are woven into your personal story. This is a conspiracy between the great dramatist and the master seamstress. She makes the costumes, and I am the divine actor. The weaver is exquisite. The thread count and stitching are impeccable. Nobody sees it until you ask. Then with compassion, she shows you how it works and how the blanket she makes for her children fulfills all their desires. Eventually, we come back home to mom.

The New Testament calls the spirit that takes up residence in matter the Logos. We are led to believe this is a one-time proposition and we call the amalgamation Christ. An understanding of the biblical passages in their original Greek reveals that the Logos is within all and through intention we create our universe. We are the director and the actor of our personal play. This is what you wanted. Act with gusto and go for the Academy Award. Bask in the bright lights of self, come forth as the flower, and when done return home to the family. Love awaits the eternal spirit and as the saying goes, "There's no place like home."