magic class

When I first started on the plant medicine path, I was curious and lacked knowledge of the plants. I was looking for a way to contact the Great Goddess and after a manic and determined search, I discovered a way to come into contact with her. It was through the shamanic plant medicine Ayahuasca, to which I was led, that I came into her presence. The alteration of consciousness allowed me to enter into the occult and find what I was looking for. These plants were sometimes called magic, and I deduced this is what they do and thus the magical qualities of them. The magic was the lifting of the veil to see into obfuscated realms. A little taste of the unknown was a bit scary, however with repeated forays into the occult eventually you get somewhat used to it and can get your bearings.

I’m a good student though sometimes a slow learner. Repeated trips to these strange places taught me much about who I am and the power I possess. I know who I am and why I’m here. What took me a while to realize is another level and meaning to the description of magic plants. The magic is there for you to claim, if you want it. And it’s your choice of how you want to use that power. The maestro don Howard would hint at this in his introductions to the retreats he held. I was always curious about what he meant and then being a student of the plants, eventually I realized what he was talking about. My spiritual brother Parker accelerated the process when he’d tell me that, “Things start happening for you instead of to you.” This statement was an acknowledgment of the unfolding of the magic that was temporarily beyond your grasp or maybe we just didn’t want to admit it at that point in time. Things start happening for you because subconsciously you direct the play toward outcomes you wish. Unintended consequences are always part of the stew, so sometimes it’s best to leave it be. You get what you want and can leave a trail of destruction in your wake.

My sixth trip to Peru in 2020 led me to an unfolding of the magic at a different level. I finally got past my trepidation of the darkness that these substances inculcate. I reconciled with the darkness and when he came during ceremony, I started to befriend him instead of cycling into a psychotic puddle. This deep energy from within the recesses of my being would rise to the surface and the power being expressed was quite evident. There was another level to these plants. I was onto the mystery and ready to explore. Upon returning home, I noticed when desires would rise within me, I would be presented with opportunities to satiate them. Is that what you want? How about this? I should have clued in earlier. After my first trip to Peru in 2013, I was given the answer to an unanswered millennials old question. All I had to do was ask and I got the answer. The fact I didn’t abuse the privilege prevented me from clearly seeing the magic available to me, however I also established a trust with my multiple psychic manifestations that I wouldn’t go mad or abuse power. I let it go and continued on my spiritual journey up the mountain. I was intent on venerating the Great Goddess and not interested in the power aspect of the plants. Eventually, the magic power available was in my face and being an intrepid explorer, I knew I had to see what this was.

This last trip to Peru and the return to my everyday life while still in the arms of the strongest medicine I have ever drank has allowed me to be witness to the unfolding of the magic and then unpack how it is used by not only myself but by others. I learned that plant medicines are called magical because they unlock your potential to manipulate people and events to get what you want. The magic is not only being able to see into the occult, but also to see the power in you that at first scares you silly. Eventually, you learn that untapped power is the director of the play, and it is you. You can shape your adventure into what you wish, or you can just let the game unfold. The temptation is to grab the cheat codes to life and have more control over the direction of your life. I mean we all do that in a way with the pursuit of wealth which will give us power. We then use the economic power to control outcomes and make our lives how we wish to live. Unlocking the magic within allows you to access whatever you want, as well as learning there’s still a reciprocal element to the process. What that means is the unintended consequences which result from getting what you want. It's best to address them before the whole construct blows up in your face.

The above was a primer to the past weekend where I ate some magic mushrooms and had an unexpected intense experience. The dose was less than a gram and shouldn’t have brought on such a psychedelic mindset. The experience that threw me for a bit of a loop lasted only a wave of the medicine to which I was grateful. I had thoughts of four hours of this uncomfortable teaching energy and wasn’t thrilled. As I sank into the weight of the alteration of consciousness, I became a little distraught knowing I’ll see things I don’t want to see. I want knowledge though and here it was coming, naked and true. The magic in magic mushrooms was on full display. I went into the magic and hypnotic realm of the weird and looked into the soul of my fellow adventurer. I saw the darkness within them and how they wanted to use it to hypnotize and manipulate. That challenge is the fire and attraction which brings us together. It is a game because it doesn't work on me. Well, maybe at first but the resources within me and my own abilities will recognize the process. Ultimately, it is liberating because the subsequent acknowledgement that feelings are authentic, true, and not under a spell allows you to see what it is you want. Another lesson was that many cultivate this magic, some don’t even know they are doing it, and then the game is to keep the spell going as long as possible. Once it wears off and can’t be renewed, the whole edifice comes crashing down.

I know of my magic and this past week my intention has been to cultivate this magic further. Less than a week after setting this intention, here I was on a beach in April with magic mushrooms and tobacco snuff pouring this magic energy out of me with the waves of the lake picking up on the outpouring of my energy and crashing into the shore. This is all a culmination of the magic plant having revealed to me the strength of the magic possessed by a fellow journeyer. When I realized the awesomeness of this knowledge I was being shown, I sank into it. I saw the hypnotic spells of a practicing witch. I saw the curiosity of one whose dependable machinations to get what they want wasn’t working. The hypnosis wasn’t doing its thing and the magic was being thwarted. If there was any doubt about my power, this little outing put it to rest.

I know I can’t be hypnotized. It makes life less enjoyable at times. I can’t dance because I rebel against hypnotic rhythms. I sometimes pretend to be enchanted in order that I can lose myself in the moment and go with the flow. However, with the initial use of Ayahuasca I constantly commented within ceremony, then later while writing about the experience, how hypnotic the experience is. The feminine Goddess present with Ayahuasca wants to take you into her world and charms and she does this through hypnosis. I could never fully let go into the spell. I allowed her medicine to break the spell of life and culture in order to free myself from that world but once free I wasn’t going under another spell. When I first encountered the depths of the darkness within, once again this was highly hypnotic and full of dark magic. Playing cards of a neon green were spinning above me and an odd sound was filling up my auditory senses. Encountering this sleepy demon was the most frightening event in my life. I didn’t want to fall under his spell and so I ran out of the maloca into the dark jungle night, determined to escape the enchantment.

I flag the hypnotic elements of a plant medicine journey right away and now I play with it. I know how to make the session heaven and I know how to make it hell. I know how not to get scared and then to extract knowledge from the trip. This is what I did. Once I got past the discomfort of the darkness, I mined the experience. It was alchemical gold. I confirmed another’s magic charms and allowed myself to fully realize my power. It’s no longer buried and unlocked within the recesses of my psychic being. The power is in my hands now and I can do what I wish. I can play any game I want with it.

The witch I befriended is the human expression of a plant medicine. They take hold of you and can bring you to heaven or send you to hell. They are unpredictable rollercoasters. They have knowledge of medicinal plants and their uses. They always have a bag full of some kind of intoxicating aid in their game of spells. They know how to use their magic charms to try and get what they want. I see the attraction at both ends and what sustains it. I wanted a worthwhile playmate who could further my understanding of this most interesting game called life. A universe of magic that has been stamped out and redirected into this paradigm that the world is actually rational and can be explained by our physics. Ha! It’s not. This is a realm of magic, and it is waiting for you to rediscover. There has to be multiple compelling reasons for a soul to want to incarnate into this hell. The draw of magic to quench what it is you desire has to be a major catalyst. Even if you get a bad roll of the chance dice, you can always find the ways of the occult to redirect your journey back onto the path you wanted to take.

I realize I’m quite the enigma. I present as controllable but once the layers start to peel, the game changes and I’m revealed as the joker in the deck of cards. I’m the wild card you’d eventually run into. I play the fool in Tarot and convince others I don’t know who I am. They still don’t believe me when I flat out tell them who I am and that I know it. The master magicians of this world still think I’m asleep and under their spell. I was asleep but not under their spell. I just lacked knowledge. Once I saw the truth, I knew the game. I know that if I think I’m crazy, I’m not crazy. The pathology lies within thinking you're sane. The joker maintains his grip upon the game by embracing the madness. As the joker, I know the game being played and I go along with it. They don’t think I know, but I know. That’s the crazy part and the elixir to keep me sane.

When under the direct influence of a plant medicine, knowledge pours in. It can be so unbelievable I’m hesitant to accept it as fact. I have been a party to this enough and done the necessary validation checks that I accept it. When I take the knowledge literally then it can go off the rails. I do think there is some truth to taking it literally, but I know enough about the plants to realize the lesson is metaphorical, some would say a mystery to solve post experience. I don’t think plant medicine ever leaves you and thus slowly unveils the meaning to you. In addition, the knowledge the process unlocks makes you realize this journey is never ending. Just when you think you've discovered what it is you were looking for, another mystery presents itself in full view and entices you into its grasp, inviting you to explore further.

So, that’s my fantastical tale. You are under no obligation to believe it or think magic is real.

speaking of tarot

What's that old saying by Lao Tzu? Those who know do not speak. Those who speak do not know. Similarly, we have an expression about how the fool opens his mouth and the wise keeps quiet, with the roots of this admonition coming from the Old Testament Book of Proverbs. Chapter 17 has these gems (New International Version):

27 The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered.

28 Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.

I was thinking about these pearls of wisdom primarily due to becoming interested in Tarot. Within this peculiar subclass of the occult I marvel at the amount of people who go around calling themselves so and so. I'm a witch. I'm this. I'm that. I'll solve all your problems. It's a common human affliction which is not attributed to just this genre. I've kind of recently put two and two together in that the same game is played by the holy spiritual pedlars and the self-help gurus.

Imagine if you have a legitimate spiritual awakening at some point in your life and then you go on an adventure to try and figure out what happened? We are all fools at this point, just begging to be exploited. We open our mouth and the accepted cultural institutions such as the church are lying in wait, ready to inculcate you with their beliefs and extract their pound of flesh. Alternatively, the more exotic tentacles of the mysterious eastern paths are reaching out to pull you in along with a host of other modalities which promise spiritual fulfillment. The grift is they perpetually keep you a follower. You may become an evangelist of the method if you prove your worth but never will you become king. You may stay on the treadmill in search of that elusive enlightenment with the expectation someone is going to tell you that you are enlightened. Maybe you will get a certificate that says you are at the pinnacle of spiritual knowledge from a fellow game player who probably doesn't really know either and like the fool believes themselves to be wise. The Tarot teaches we all begin in ignorance and play the fool. The key word is begin and as you progress along the game board of life and observe the actions of the species, you become wise if you have kept your mouth shut and followed your own innate inner guidance system. If you want a way to separate the wheat from the chaff, in other words, the good teacher from the one who has their own best interests at heart it is this: The good one will tell you don't need them anymore once they see you are headed in the correct direction. They point the way and show you the door. This is shamanism at its finest. Here's the door. Walk in, all by yourself, and do the work. I see similar in the teaching of Zen where the teacher will get you to talk yourself out until mentally exhausted so you give up and thus begins the process of clarity where you will eventually realize the truth and become enlightened. Ultimately, the path being nothing special at all.

The self-help industry is huge. We are talking billions and billions of revenues and the helpers all jockey for their piece of that scrumptious pie. As a society we give accreditation to the psychologists because they have to go to university and spend lots of time and money to validate their accumulation of knowledge. They are the one-up specialist who can charge a pretty good fee in order to give you the help you need. As I have previously opined, I find in our society the therapist is usually the one most in need of help and is subconsciously using their position in order to get the help they need. They see their pathology in their patients and then experiment on them, hoping to find the answer that will free them. It's such an exquisite profession! A step down from the psychologist is the coach. The coach doesn't need the degree and usually has a certificate from a weekend workshop which then sends them on their way into the world of self-help. If you spend some time in these circles you will discover this peculiar secret: Most of the people they are helping are other coaches! A self-help coach is a neurotic who passes the baton of low self-esteem around in a circle hoping not to be in possession when the music stops. I followed a coach for a few years, mostly out of a sense of duty. They were smart and had good advice but ultimately, they still needed to sort out their demons. I mean man they were fucked up and they knew it. They would sink into the depths of despair only to re-emerge energized. But that was the pattern of high and low and they never found balance. Their coaching practice was a way for them to work out their own shit and in doing this they could acquire followers who related to their suffering. When you suffer you think you are making progress thus the appeal of such a path. What happens when they are shown a way out of the suffering? They won't take that path because suffering defines who they are. If they give up suffering then they lose their identity. If you are still reading this post, I think you already know about the spiritual path and the ego and therefore I won't need to explain why they can't get off the hamster wheel of self-sabotage.

The best methods of spiritual awakening self-destruct. A method's utility is in its ability to point you in the direction which will allow you to discover your truth about who you are and why you are involved in this game of life. The ninth-century Chinese Buddhist monk Linji Yixuan advised his students to kill the Buddha. Not only is this provocative teaching instructing you to let go of the teacher; ultimately, it is telling you to destroy the method because without the icon the spiritual system hangs its proverbial hat on, the whole thing falls apart. Buddhists won't admit to the last part as their whole game disintegrates without the supreme enlightened one the practitioners strive to become; much like the Christian Jesus who is so pure no mortal can attain his level and thus we are trapped forever in some perverse holier than thou game. In this spiritual game you identify as a Buddhist. The ego is very tricky and will prevent you from taking the final step. You're a human being. Why don't you explore the cyclical nature of your desire system and discover just who you are? Becoming a permanent Buddhist means giving away your innate power through attachment to method. You don't need to remain attached to the method of awakening. The utility of the Buddha lies in getting you to explore the nature of self; to question why you suffer and see the way out. When you discover the way out perhaps you'll find the middle way. All methods of awakening are traps but as a novice you need a method. Once the alarm clock on the method sounds it is up to you to turn off the alarm and not go back to sleep.

To come full circle in this blog post is to return to the idea that those who know don't speak. The former rational me would chuckle at folly such as Tarot. One who believes in this bunk and woo entertain the heights of irrationality. For sure the cards enchant and a spectacle can be created that entertains but come on you can't take this seriously. And therein lies the rub and the magic. If you don't believe in the cards then certainly they don't work. In fact, they will never work. If you want to believe in the cards that too is not enough. To understand Tarot is to intuitively know the secret and thus understand why they work.

How do the cards work? To be continued?

follow the yellow brick road

In the movie The Wizard of Oz, the main character Dorothy is on a journey of the soul. The entry into matter of the soul involves the metaphorical death of the soul, a forgetfulness, with the object being an eventual reawakening if the journey is successful. A great example of this theme is in the fairy tale Sleeping Beauty; Beauty being the soul. The wicked witch of the west harangues Dorothy into embarking upon this journey, much like the witch in Hansel and Gretel, which I have written about previously in this blog post. Similarly, it is the journey the Fool is about to undertake in the Tarot. Notice in the cards the dog who is with him.

The dog in the Fool's card and as well as in The Wizard of Oz, Toto, is the guide of the soul, the archetypal psychopomp, whom the ancient Egyptians called the opener of the ways.

Pharaoh Seti I receiving the gift of life

from the jackal Ophois while Isis looks on

Dorothy follows the yellow brick road and meets the characters, aspects of her inner self, who represent her need to develop her brain (wisdom) from the scarecrow, her heart from the tin man, and the need for courage represented by the cowardly lion.

Fear of the unknown has derailed many a seeker in their quest for truth and knowledge. Personally, after my initial forays into the visionary realm, I felt like the cowardly lion and didn't want to do that again. It wasn't until summoning the requisite courage that I was able to resume the journey. Wisdom is the result of seeking knowledge on this road to discovery and it is through this process you learn the path with heart is the only true path to follow.

"For me there is only the traveling on the paths that have heart, on any path that may have heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge for me is to traverse its full length. And there I travel—looking, looking, breathlessly" 

Don Juan Matus

The munchkins are something that seem to be related to the visionary realm and the journey of the soul. In the the myth of Snow White, this concept is represented by the seven dwarfs.

The ancient Egyptians have descriptions of these little people, the apotropaic Bes being the most striking of these strange dancing elf people.

Bes at the temple of Philae in Upper Egypt

And there are also the stories that modern users of the highly psychoactive drug dimethyltryptamine (DMT) bring back of these elf people.

Terence McKenna's encounters with the Elves

The trip through the forest by Dorothy and her friends is the perilous part of the journey, the wilderness is the visionary realm, and the eventual death of the wicked witch frees you from fearing death. The good witch Glinda helps you with the inner struggle and whether you are to continue on in this journey. Later on the way to the Emerald City, the characters in this adventure amusingly lay down in a poppy field and fall asleep.

This seems to be relating to drug use and the hypnotic state used to discover an alternative reality which shows you another way out of your predicament. I think the Emerald City is referring to the alchemical wisdom of Hermes Trismegistus and the Emerald Tablets and also implying another connection to the Tarot. The journey culminates in an entrance into this city, with the surprising result that the necessary wisdom needed to complete the journey lies within. In the Emerald City, they do find the wizard who supposedly will magically solve all their problems; Dorothy of course desperately wants to return home. The wizard is a fraud, pay no attention to that man behind the curtain, and he is representing religions of man. Toto is tellingly the one who pulls back the curtain and reveals the truth. Dorothy eventually finds out she has it within her to return to the place for which her soul longs.

Dorothy clicks her heels three times in order to return home

The theme of this journey of the soul, which we can lift out of this fantastic movie, I begin this blog post with is intended as a starting point in order to segue into a discussion on the meaning of life. Why does the soul enter into the limiting material world and subject itself to suffering and a fundamental lack of knowledge concerning its origins and destiny? In fact, for the most part we have no idea why we are here and what is the purpose of this existence we have been presented with; unsure if we even had a choice in the matter? Without accessing any of the modalities available to alter consciousness, then to ponder this question becomes a dead end. Speculation centres on whether we live on past bodily death and that remains the insurmountable barrier in which our thoughts are consumed by the bugaboo of what is beyond the grave, if anything. But if you can bypass this barrier then the question has the possibility of being answered. Our western conditioning leads us down the path that our consciousness is generated by our brain and in conjunction with that assertion, it stands to reason that without the body we cannot exist. Upon the ceasing of conscious awareness, we are left with a dissolution of self and that is a finality. Our concept of life begins, is tied to, and ends with bodily death. Another way to view consciousness is the metaphor of the television set that is a receiver of a signal. Our brains are tuned to the particular consciousness signal which makes us who we are and defines our reality. I would posit then that it is the ego who generates the self and this fear of finality. The death of our physical self and the persona we have crafted throughout our appearance in the material plane at this moment in time is for the ego the absolute end of the drama. Think of it as a musical composition or a play that eventually comes to an end. It can be recalled and remembered but when the band ceases playing then the music is but a memory. From this we get our first answer to the question of the meaning of life and that is in essence we are here in this temporality to play. We perform a metaphorical symphony of life while here on earth. Just as a piece of music can move us, inspire us, bring out emotion, cause us to reflect and act upon our thoughts or say a movie can bring us to tears, uplift us, excite us, and depress us, it is our lives that though taken as a snapshot in time may seem to be inconsequential, it does in fact affect cumulatively those around us and on a collectively larger scale, the whole of humanity and the planet. As the drama of our lives unfolds, we touch others in more ways than we realize. The sum of the movie of our lives, as it reaches its crescendo and final dissolution, is a marvellous construction. But we should take a step back here and examine life. It is not the ego and thus it is not perishable. The ego is just an expression; one of many expressions. Life changes and manifests in different forms when subject to the great multiplier, which is time. Our consciousness is a wave vibrating throughout the sum of existence and it just so happens it has settled for the moment in the physical plane which is governed by time. So, life does not carry death within it; instead it contains within it the catalyst for change. We are blessed with free will to affect the path we follow at all times. The meaning of life is to play, and through this marvellous experience which is sprinkled with free will, we are on a trajectory of becoming. The act of becoming leads to transformation as our soul vibrates into a higher plane and becomes pure luminous light in a state of non-organic awareness. Staying inert and not participating in the play or getting lost in this grand musical composition, just means you do not increase the frequency of your vibration and become greater; greater being a state of transfiguration that allows you to throw off the material bonds that tie you down. Instead, you remain in this plane repeating the class until you dance to the beat of the cosmic dance and transcend this existence at the cessation of physical life. So you see, the meaning of life involves participation and through this playing we are to transcend the mundane and the profane as our actions touch those around us and the greater whole. The love we share lightens the soul and allows for growth. The heavy heart, still filled with desire and unfulfilled longings, remains in the cycle of life and death.

The heart space is where you find the divine within you and all around you. The secret is in shifting your consciousness into a heart based path, Love, that's all. Once you show the universe that's your intention then you can do it. The labyrinth we call life is complicated but it is a maze of our own making. The minotaur we empower and then one day courageously we just side step this monster and never look back.

The meaning of life is an active journey towards self-realization which in spiritual terms is to head for the light. The ultimate purpose of our lives is to lead others to the light. Even if you are still searching for this light yourself, just the act of encouraging others to search is the noblest thing you can do. The tin man, scarecrow, and cowardly lion are our magi. Traveling on a path guided by the wisdom of the heart, imbued with courage, that are the sum total of the yellow brick road friends of Dorothy, will ♫Guide us to thy perfect light♫.