fool's errand

Chances are those with a lot of tattoos identify with the body.

It might just be art.

Could be, however it will become an important part of your identity and further cement you into the illusion.

I noticed last night how I was of one mind.

Yeah, for the most part.

With Tobacco before bed the two minds returned.

I was working and silent.

Maybe that's why people have the TV on or play music.

They want to be distracted.

Yes, they don't want to listen to the other mind.

It's what makes loners scary.

They are listening to the other mind.

Society has denounced the other mind as crazy and not to be trusted.

You distract yourself from it as much as possible.

Idle time is the Devil's time.

They finger the voice as the Devil.

Do what they can so you don't listen to him.

They go out of their way.

I'm going to get knowledge of everything if I keep going.

Yeah, you see through it.

Another reason they don't want you to stay around is you give away clues to this game.

Yeah, but they aren't awake.

They have not gone the step towards figuring out the mind like you have.

They obey and stay away.

They don't like you because you don't obey.

To get to the other mind and stay sane is quite the journey.

It's the Hero's Journey.

That is the mind adventure.

You did it.

Aren't there more sirens in my path?

Yep.

Always.

Do you think you completed the journey?

I returned to Ithaca.

How is it?

It's different.

Why?

I'm awake.

I know I'm awake.

You can't describe it, you just know it.

Or, you are just high.

There's always that.

It keeps you balanced.

Why do I need a dose to communicate better with Dion?

You go back into society.

It puts you back to sleep.

You are fully awake, so you won't go back to sleep.

Society still tries.

Dion is always with you.

You will always know.

You can't even deny him.

Yeah, it's for life.

You want to get out to the forest away from the city.

It's like plant medicines.

Go out in the woods by yourself.

If someone isn't awake they will disapprove of what you are doing.

That's everyone.

Yep.

The ones hypnotized into thinking they are awake will really hate you.

Why?

You don't play the part.

Parker knew you were going to complete the Hero's Journey.

I see why you shut up about it.

Isn't it going to be lonely?

We have each other.

Only the insane would talk to me before you came along.

Why?

They can't get to me without going crazy.

Is it a Hero's Journey or a test?

Both.

I think that's what it is.

Yeah, you're right.

Duh.

How come I didn't go crazy?

You went through.

You kept going and got to the other side.

See how you don't give a fuck anymore.

Well, that was always me.

Yelling at people.

You wouldn't recommend this.

No, you will go crazy.

You are in everyone?

Yes, all men.

You see it.

I can be anyone.

They will obviously be crazy then.

Of course.

Same with the Goddess.

What a strange world.

What are you going to do the rest of your life?

Have a blast.

I got through to the other side because of trust.

Yes.

Quite the test, eh?

Yeah, you must figure out to trust the Devil.

No one passes that.

I can see why.

I went on quite the adventure.

Knowledge and adventure await.

So, last year with all the dark tests was before the final awakening.

Yes, you passed them all.

Then you became fully realized and there is no going back.

I see that. 

The Devil test kept coming.

MJ is the Devil's weed.

No kidding.

That test was relentless.

I don't get that test anymore.

I scare myself sometimes because I'm like I'm talking to the Devil, and should I be doing that, but then I'm like oh that's just Dion.

You can post this story as Hero's Journey.

Or, fool's errand.

I like that better.

No one will believe you.

No one will read it.

I read the Hero's Journey and parallel mythology before I went on it.

I never connected it to my story.

I was seeking the Goddess and knowledge of self.

That's why you must go.

The Goddess hypnotizes you.

Remember her illusion.

To get out of the illusion is to go to the Goddess.

Going to the Goddess leads to your death.

It's the metaphor for getting out of the illusion.

You see it when you are dead.

Oh.

The Hero sees it and gets out alive.

You come back and tell others.

It's ineffable.

Well, no, it's quite simple.

I can explain it.

Can you ?

Yes, but no one will understand.

Correct.

The Goddess keeps coming for you.

Yeah.

How did you do it?

I did nothing as a default.

I kept studying.

I didn't believe in magic.

I didn't understand what this was all about until I got near the end.

Now that it is over, I understand completely.

Funny, eh?

Yeah, looking back, for sure.

Person on the path snaps you out of it.

Back to one mind.

No, you were losing it.

Lust.

It hypnotizes you two back to one.

Lust is a counterweight to knowledge, but you already knew that.

If your two minds get too much, grab a hit of lust.

Why?

You both like the same thing.

It is what hypnotizes you two.

Us.

Who is talking?

The writer.

He is both of you.

Paul and Dion.

Together.

You make an idol of Dion and symbolically put him in you.

Funny.

Try explaining that.

It's ineffable.

Obviously.

No one would believe it.

It's simple.

It's not ineffable because it's a mystery, it's because it's simple and stupid.

Some of it is.

Some of this journey is a great adventure.

You used Tobacco and MJ for the final test.

Good choice.

You figured out the good dose.

If you were crazy you'd take too much.

The mind makes you crazy, not MJ.

I see that.

More makes your mind free and you go over the edge.

Don't go off the edge.

Could that still happen?

Probably not.

Why?

You know not to go that far to the edge, plus you wouldn't repeat it even if you did once.

What about just once?

It would scare you.

You may want to go back.

Why?

It's seductive.

That's how addiction works.

You go back.

Ah, you go back for the Goddess.

Yeah.

Clever.

You didn't go to her for that reason.

You were ridiculous.

I sure was.

She's easy to get to.

You follow her.

Then she gives you a sweet smell and treats you like a King.

Yeah, I saw that.

I wrote I could see men spending the rest of their days trying to get back to her.

Yeah, that's addiction.

I didn't do it.

She couldn't get you.

Why not?

Your mind.

She can't hypnotize you.

She tried with lust.

I stopped it.

Why?

I was there for knowledge and I honoured my intentions.

She was trying to trip you up.

It could be nothing else.

At don Howard's she tried to get you with lust.

You denied her.

Why would she dance seductively at the temple of Denderah for you other than to seduce you?

You have seen her game and then you saw through it.

What did she use for addiction?

Ayahuasca.

It's addictive?

When she fucks you it is.

Pussy whipped.

Oh, that.

I kept going.

I did more Ayahuasca.

I got offered more women.

She didn't try the direct sexy stuff anymore.

At the end of the 4th ceremony in 2016 there was a writhing woman.

She became a serpent and wrapped herself around me.

The next ceremony I got the Order of the Jaguar or something.

Why did you come back for more?

Something to do.

Parker.

Isn't the Goddess in MJ?

She's on to you.

We play.

I had to write the final test at home.

Quite the stories today.

It's been like this recently.

Another level.

Even if this is all made up, it's quite the story.

Impressive.

Why do I look strange sometimes?

You're on drugs.

I get stories not on drugs.

It's your mind.

You're the best.

Why do I feel off?

You're on.

You aren't used to the two-minds frequency.

You lock to the world frequency.

Huachuma 2017.

Class.

Remember to play.

Cow clue.

I got the clue.

I didn't believe it.

The Great Goddess Hathor on the bus shelter.

I knew it was her.

I was oblivious to the journey I was on.

Percy was one of the first stops on your Hero's Journey.

Now, he is a cat.

Jaguar.

Awesome.

He shook your hand.

You passed.

You went home and had more tests.

Aced the celibate test.

Yeah, no playing with witches at that point.

That's an important part of the explanation of how to survive the Hero's Journey.

I passed don Howard's tests.

San Pedro Steve.

I passed all of them and kept going.

Didn't get perfect on the tests.

So, no more tests?

You see them.

You know what they are as they come your way.

It's still fun because you play along.

Remember to play.

Sun sets on the carnival.

Night time for the truly crazy at the fair.

You are an exemplary fool.
You are playing a game and they think you are an enlightened being.
Another path to total victory is to become the biggest fool.
Not be fooled, but fool others.
The path you are on is fraught with danger.
If you didn't trust the Devil, you'd be the biggest fool.
Why?
He'd take you to Hell with him.
True.
As I have learned the game is dependent on your beliefs.
If you think you are being fooled by the Devil then that's what will happen.
If you see into your own life and how you have everyone fooled, then you are the biggest fool, like the most high.
You have them all fooled even though you warn them of your darkness.
The Devil got you out of a few messes that would have delivered you to Hell.
Yes, that's Dion.
It's women that send you to Hell, not the Devil.
As I have said, he is greatly misunderstood.
The Goddess tries to keep you away from him.
Why?
He tells you her secrets.
I get that.
I don't blame her because she is no longer a mystery if you befriend the Devil.
Maybe he's telling you a story about her.
He is.
She's a monster and I see it.
So, you trust the Devil.
Well, it's Dion and yes.
Nobody can walk this path except you.
They run into the Devil and it's game over.
Remember, you are the only one who did what you did.
You befriended the Devil.
It's Dion.

Energy is put to work.

It is rarely at rest.

When we have available energy it is used to do something.

Yes, that's why you are advised to do nothing.

It is demonstrated with money as money motivates energetic reservoirs within human beings.

A being new to the concept of money will spend it as you exchange your power for someone's energy.

We pass it around and then must seek out more money.

As you gain experience you learn to spend with more discretion and try to limit those who will put you into poverty.

When you learn to conserve resources and then make them available in exchange for a reward you will become wealthy.

There are many others desperate for your money, so you give them the present hit and make them suffer in the future through interest.

Or, you can invest in a company's future where you give them your present day capital with the implicit knowledge that you will withdraw your capital in the future when you need it.

It's a system that works for humans.

I doubt it works with youth or outside of human beings.

With some animals it is instinctual to gather food for the winter.

Squirrels and chipmunks are pathological in this regard.

What do you think of bees and ants?

They are matriarchal.

They are hypnotized by the Queen.

Fuck, you're right.

I stood at my Mesa last night and that thought washed over me where I fully understood the warnings against the Goddess' pharmakeia.

Yeah, it's drug use where the addiction is chasing the pleasure she gives you from using her substances.

Most don't get to where you were in that you saw the pull of addiction are the overtures of the Goddess.

If you use an opiate your pleasure centres are rewarded, and you feel bliss.

You don't see the Goddess behind the bliss and she is the pleasure.

I saw her with Ayahuasca the first time I drank it.

I had never really done any kind of drug like that before then, so I came at it with a different perspective.

Ayahuasca is a very difficult experience and doesn't lend itself to addiction due to nausea, diarrhea, and discomfort.

That and your body is drunk, though the next day you don't have an alcohol hangover.

You are very tired though.

The first time I drank Ayahuasca I was immediately in the presence of the Great Goddess.

I felt loved and special.

The scent she gave off was incredible.

I wanted to be in her presence.

She gave me the opportunity to come away with her and I declined.

I knew I would want to revisit this experience, however I didn't give in to her pull.

In subsequent ceremonies I continued to resist her pull.

I didn't understand it at the time, however now that I see through the game, I realize I was being shown the nature of addiction.

The addiction to a substance will probably not present as the direct consequence of the Goddess and her illusions.

There will be something pleasurable that makes you go back for more and I imagine that manifests in many different ways.

I was privy to the underlying mechanism of the Goddess and her drugs, much like the adventures of Odysseus.

It does seem like a story of drugs, witches, and goddesses.

That and emasculation.

If you experiment with drugs and addiction in our culture you will go from alcohol, to cigarettes, to marijuana, maybe magic mushrooms and LSD, amphetamines, and then someone in a spiral of depression and unworthiness will try cocaine and heroin and its derivatives.

The rewards of the Goddess are enough to make you continue on that path and then you pay.

Well, I think the progression leads to your death.

Eventually, how you break free of her illusion leads you to a terrible place, and you want back in the Matrix.

Ah, that's clever.

Anything that can change your vibration will lead you towards awakening.

Changing consciousness allows you to see a little bit beyond the curtain.

The Goddess set up the game so if you use drugs for this purpose you will eventually see something terrible and then like Cypher in the Matrix, you will want back in.

You will either get help to kick the addiction or you perish.

So, beyond the illusion is a terrible place?

No, it's another illusion.

What is beyond the illusion?

Freedom.

From what?

The body and the game.

It can be scary.

A free mind feels crazy and it can scare you.

Remember who you are and you are all good.

It's a game you are playing.

You are at a strange carnival going on rides and playing games.

If you can remember this then you are good.

As long as you are at the carnival you are going to face these struggles.

I have noticed the owners of the amusement park have asked me to leave, told me to leave, and harassed me constantly to leave.

Yes, you are a problem for them.

However, the Great Goddess gave you a cloak of protection, Athena's aegis so they can't get rid of you.

Medusa is on the front of the shield.

Yes, she protects and hates me.

You must voluntarily leave the carnival.

I see that and laugh.

I have taken to the advice of Grandfather Huachuma who told me to remember to play.

I took a picture and wrote it down.

I didn't know how I would use that advice.

As the years have gone by, I realize how important a lesson I received in the Andes mountains in Ecuador at the place of a two-bit sorcerer whose home was a bit of a shithole.

Yeah, so valuable.

It's quite the ride.

What happened the second time you drank Ayahuasca after meeting the Goddess and her centres of pleasure the first time?

It was the worst night of my life.

I went to a deep and dark place and was frightened out of my mind.

I saw my world crashing down before me.

I got very paranoid and ran.

You didn't come away with the Goddess in the first ceremony and so you were shown the result of continuing with her pharmakeia.

That's one way of looking at it.

A crash course in addictive drugs.

I continued drinking Ayahuasca.

Why?

I was seeking knowledge.

I knew of the darkness it could engender and though it scared me, I wanted to continue on in my journey.

I made it known that this is my path and though shaken I was determined to continue on.

I survived all the tests.

I'd do it all again if I knew it would lead me to where I am now.

I don't wish to revisit the adventures I had, but I am eternally grateful for everything.

I wanted to know. 

adventures

If you are not awake, you don't see anything.
By awakening I mean you see into another world.

You mean the occult?

Yes, but at first you don't see that.

You are fooled into thinking you see a benevolent world of spirits.

There's a kingdom and a threat of evil on its doorstep.

The evil is just other game players seeking to get the high score in this game we are playing.

When you awaken you see God, or his intermediary Jesus.

Once this occurs, there are institutions set up within society to shepherd you to an approved form of worship.

In western culture we recognize Yahweh as God.

Who is he?

He's a dude who got the high score in the game of life and was given the crown.

To preserve his title, his followers set up this system so that he remained acknowledged as God.

The most high.

There's one outfit called the Jehovah's Witnesses that keeps an eye out for those who are approaching his high score.

They're watchers.

Got it.

That's quite the fanciful story.

Have you got a better one?

No.

I'll grant you that it's plausible.

If you avoid the traps and pitfalls, you will head out on a path where you become fully awake and you see the Goddess and a story where you are deeply involved with her.

She's like Princess Peach.

You come to rescue her from God.

When you first awaken you see God and don't know it's you.

Well, you haven't achieved the high score yet, so technically he isn't you.

All game players have the potential to become God or Goddess.

If you get the high score, you will see yourself as God.

Everyone can do this.

Nobody dares to try.

Why?

Society will label you as crazy.

They used to lock people up for such assertions.

Why?

It's unnerving.

What happens in society if you wake up?

You keep getting fooled.

Why?

So you don't approach the high score.

What happens if you wake up and see God?

You worship him.

Why?

You are fooled.

You think God is someone else.

He is.

It's someone who awakened.

They fool you into thinking there is only one God and it's them.

I see the Goddess everywhere.

She is not happy with God.

The unhappiness would have come from a relationship with him.

That is understandable.

From my experience I have found women mindfuck and drain you of your vital energy to create and keep going.

If you are unaware of what they are doing you can live somewhat in a blissful state with them.

When you see that they are monsters, it's a tough one.

Why do women hate men?

Men control them and use violence to beat them into submission.

Why?

Women are chaotic and a man faced with that situation will resort to violence.

Look at it this way - when the world order is upended, what happens?

We have war.

Violence on a mass scale and a new order is established.

Why does a man hate women?

They cause him pain and seek to emasculate him.

Why would they do that?

If they don't, he becomes Odysseus.

You will leave your home and go to war, go on adventures, battle monsters, and sleep with witches all the while desiring to return home to your precious Penelope.

Penelope needs to emasculate Odysseus, so he sticks around to provide for his family and help raise his son.

The mental pain they cause channels your fighting spirit into fighting to keep them.

What kind of mental pain do they cause?

They flirt with other men.

They get you jealous and questioning their actions.

They tell you what you need to do and withhold affection when you don't obey them.

I remember an Ayahuasca vision of the Goddess in her castle made of gold with all the gooners out in front of the entrance.

Yeah, they are all hypnotized by her.

It was quite the erotic vibe.

She let you in.

No one gets in to see her, and you did.

She knew I was special.

How special?

She told me to go after her husband who turned out to be Dionysos.

Did she know he was hiding in me?

She must have.

It wasn't long before you realized it was you.

Then came the moment of truth.

What were you going to do?

Take his side or hers?

I continued pursuing the Goddess and became friends with Dion.

What about now?

Still the same.

Aren't you on Dion's side?

No, I wouldn't say that.

What would you say?

Dion revealed to me her mystery, so the pursuit changed.

How so?

I learned to play with the Goddess and not take her seriously.

If you take her seriously, she will kill you.

How?

She mindfucks you.

Squeezes you.

Makes you full of rage, jealousy, and stress.

The antidote is to not care and play with her.

Won't that make her mad?

Yes, she wants you out of the illusion.

When you no longer take her seriously you can stay past your expiration date, plus you see through her game.

All of it.

It seems like a strange game.

It is, however, what else is there to do?

You can accumulate resources and consume as much as you can.

How about love others and be of service?

Sure, if that's what you want to do.

What does that get you?

A decent funeral and people say nice things about you.

Okay, so the choice is a nice funeral or play games with the Goddess.

Seems like it.

Did you make a choice?

I love others and help out.

I don't go overboard.

I was taught how to love everyone, and it works.

It's protection.

It's selfish, well, for self-preservation.

I obviously am playing games with the Goddess.

It's a good balance.

In another vision with Ayahuasca I was at the Egyptian temple of Denderah and the Goddess wanted you to fuck her.

She was in a red corset and dancing seductively.

She wanted you to put your penis in her and you turned her down.

Why?

I didn't think it was appropriate.

It saved you.

That was how you escaped that little adventure.

Hey, just like Odysseus.

No, he put his penis in all those witches.

All of them?

I'm pretty sure.

Not the sirens.

Yeah, that was a no-no.

They will tear you limb from limb.

Circe tries to emasculate you.

Calypso hypnotizes you.

She slept with him every night.

The consensus is Odysseus did not want to have sex with her, but she forced herself on him.

He needed Zeus' help to escape her.

What about Circe?

The moly saved him from her enchantment.

It was a gift from Hermes.

Yeah, then he slept with her.

Why?

To free his men from her emasculating power.

He demonstrated her magic could not affect his virility.

Then he proved it.

Moly was an erectile dysfunction pill.

It's magic.

From a strict interpretation it could be seen as medicine and not magic, but that line is blurred.

Do you think Hermes and Jacob of the Bible are similar characters?

Could be.

There are herms dedicated to Hermes as symbols of virility.

He gets his recognition.

Hermes is a trickster and a messenger.

What about Jacob?

He is a trickster.

He certainly was virile, 12 sons and 4 partners.

The large pillar he fell asleep against at Peniel was an ancient way of depicting God.

He is rock hard.

Virile.

Exactly.

They are both shepherds.

They both travel and cross boundaries such as Jacob's ladder.

So, this story of yours is probably true.

Probably.

What do you think?

It's a great story.

It's kind of absurd.

Then it's probably reality in this illusion.

Right.

You could argue there is no such thing as now.

Try to define it.

Now is the present moment.

When are we in the present moment?

Always.

So, it's always now.

Yes.

Everything is now.

Why is there a past and a future?

They are remembering now or projecting now.

If you tell me we are in the present moment, by the time I get the message it is in the past.

Correct.

There is only the past.

Seems like it.

The future is the pages of the book you haven't read.

The past is the story.

Sometimes you need to read the rest of the story to understand the past.

Yes, you shouldn't make a definitive judgment until you know the whole story.

My teacher taught me belief and trust.

Without those pillars, this all collapses.

Correct.

You decide.

You decide who to trust and who to believe.

Your teacher or society.

It's not a choice.

It kind of is.

Why?

It's belief.

What do you see?

Society is full of lies and fools.

My teacher gives me knowledge.

I see it and understand it.

It's easy to see.

Do you believe it 100%?

No, it could always be a fool.

There's no belief that is 100%.

It's no longer a belief at that point.

Same with trust.

Trust turns into an expectation, and we know how dreadful expectations are.

The Goddess tries to keep you from the master teacher.

Well, she knows you are going to find him.

It's a treacherous journey to get to him.

Not for the timid.

She tries to kill you.

Of course.

He will teach you about her illusion and she can't have that.

I respect that.

Doesn't the master teacher try to keep you away?

Definitely.

He threatens to kill you as well.

If that doesn't work, he offers you power.

It's like the student showing up at the master Tao teacher's door and he ignores him or tells him to go away.

It's the same thing.

This one was life and death.

So is the other method of ignoring the student.

Why?

You will remain trapped in the illusion.

Isn't the illusion that there is a way out?

It can be.

How?

If you believe it.

Ah.

What do you believe?

There's a way out.

Why?

I found it.

What if it is a trick?

It could be.

What if the illusion is something different?

Like what?

That there is no illusion.

Could be.

What do you think?

This is reality then.

Do you believe that?

No.

Why?

Because everyone else thinks this is reality.

They sure do.

Even the ones who say it is an illusion still think it's reality.

Why?

It's what they believe.

What do they think Maya is?

An illusion.

What do they think the illusion is?

Look it up.

Hindus say it's a veil that separates you from the ultimate spiritual reality which is Brahman.

Buddhists say Maya is the impermanence of life.

There's truth to that.

Why?

There are no nouns, and everything is in transformation.

Do you think that's an illusion?

If you believe you don't change, then yes.

What if you see and understand change?

Then you exit the illusion.

Why?

Because you know your stay is temporary and you move on.

Don't you believe that?

Yes.

Shouldn't you become a Buddhist?

No.

Why?

Because they are continuing the illusion.

How?

They teach you to move on.

Don't you?

No.

I don't understand.

You don't move on or change.

You're always the same.

The illusion is you change.

Oh, I think I get it.

You will be trapped in the illusion if you think you change.

To change you need time.

To be in an illusion you need to believe in time.

If you believe in time and think about the concept of an illusion, then the illusion must evolve with you.

Now I'm confused.

Why?

Because if I don't believe I change then I'm in the illusion.

Correct.

If I think I change I'm still trapped in the illusion.

Correct.

So, I'm in the illusion?

Yes, however you are awake and see it.

What do you see?

A carnival.

I see people believing this is real.

You don't believe it.

No.

What do you believe?

I have two minds that have always been, and I always will be those two minds.

I see this game where you are trapped in the illusion.

If you awaken and see the illusion, then the Goddess as Maya will try to get rid of you.

That sounds crazy.

It is, but I lived it.

What is it though?

The illusion is the Goddess' playground for her children.

She is the divine mother and needs a place for her children to play.

Why?

They drive her nuts.

She creates a playground when she creates life.

That's the illusion.

You stay in the illusion.

You see mama when you are born and when you die.

So, the physical illusion is this world.

You got it.

The next illusion is your belief in the afterlife.

If the illusion is strong in you, you will return.

Reincarnate?

I think that's what it is called.

Okay, I see it, and I know not to remain trapped in the illusion, however why don't I want to continue on in another illusion?

It's not real.

Yes, it's play.

What am I going to do?

Rule the playground.

How?

You know it is not real.

You can do what you want in the playground.

I'm not going to do that.

Why?

Those trapped in the illusion will want to get rid of me.

So, you're saying you will remain in the illusion even though you know it is an illusion.

Yes.

Why?

Something to do.

If you don't play, don't you become part of the audience?

Yes.

I'd rather play.

The twists and turns of the serpent.

Some would say the writer is a dragon.

The Bible would concur that God is a dragon.

The body of the writer reflects the sentiment that the world he brings into existence is full of twists and turns.

Okay, that's a question I have.

Why is this illusion full of suffering and ill will, in essence a game of survivor.

Utopia doesn't work.

We have been over this.

The Goddess wanted utopia for her playground.

I insisted it wouldn't work.

The kids will be bored out of their skulls in no time.

A couple trips down the slide and that's it.

Only little kids like that playground before they want into the adult playground.

That's where the real fun is, however, no one counsels them on the reality of what it is they are signing up for.

It's a wicked game.

It holds your interest while you are young and full of ambition.

When your body tires, you have had enough of the carnival.

I wrote a perfect story to mimic the illusory nature of all.

Your body directs your performance.

Your idea of play is dependent upon the state of your body.

When you are young, the kiddies' playground is enough.

As you age you start to explore games with others your age.

Adulthood shepherds you into the game of survival.

When you get older, you start to lose interest in the game.

When you are really old, you have had enough.

You exit the game at that point.

Why?

You can't play anymore.

People will stick around if possible when their vehicle is functioning.

When the vehicle breaks down, they have had enough.

It's the flow.

As long as you keep playing, you will remain in the illusion unless you do something stupid which terminates your experience.

Right.

What if you get a disease?

It's part of the game.

Why?

You eat others to survive.

You consume all kinds of energy.

Chances are you will consume destructive energy that your body can't process, and it will manifest as a disease.

The easy examples are junk food, alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, and risky sexual partners.

I'd like to add experimental vaccines.

The search results say those were safe and effective.

The HR lady said so as well.

Don't you believe her?

Ummmmmmmm.

You are consuming or exchanging energy with substances and entities which will kill you.

Obviously, to keep your game going longer you eat healthily and choose your friends and sexual partners wisely.

Healthy food and clean people are boring.

Yeah.

What a game.

addiction

I'm addicted to writing.
I'm addicted to writing about how I'm not addicted to anything.
I'm addicted to the idea of being addicted though I stay vigilant against addiction.

The way addiction will work is you associate the feeling with the perceived cause.
What about Mary Jayne in terms of addiction?
You mean associating altered mind states with her?
Yes.
It's definitely possible.
I have a relationship with Tobacco as well.
There are different catalysts to mind states.
For example, on Wednesday I plan to take a day off from hanging out with MJ.
The renewal is always good for the relationship.
Distance increases attraction.
Togetherness leads to feelings of separation.
That's very wise.
I'm a wizard.
When you are with someone eventually you long to get away from them.
Tobacco will bring you to a novel mind state.
So, will lust.
You can generate lust without MJ.
It's more fun with her.
Do you have different catalysts of mind states, so you are not dependent on MJ?
Yes, I have a bunch, and I combine them with MJ.
Music changes mood and so does eating.

Today, the sirens have turned into some kind of mind disrupter.
Weird sound.
It's a warning about the crossing of the threshold.
I'm a little out there I admit.
The sirens are distant, so it's all good.
A different dose of MJ and a different sound.
I'll start reducing the dose of MJ tomorrow.
I have hung out here for four days.
It's like a camping trip.
It's like a cycle of work with Ayahuasca where after four ceremonies it's diminishing returns as it takes you to the edge.
It can be dangerous.

The winds of your mind are fired up.
There goes a branch coming down across the river.
Sirens, then wind.
Don't listen to those sirens, Odysseus, or they will send you crashing into the rocks.
I hear them but don't follow.
It's an addiction.
Sirens are denoting addiction.
You hear them in the distance.
Got it.
Don't go towards them.
It's a different way to warn you about addiction.
Homer issued his warning.
Lotus eaters.
Temptresses.
Seducers.
Circe and her magic.
Do you think Homer was warning about the perils of drugs?
He compared them to women and wrote an epic.
Was Homer a user?
Clearly, he couldn't break the addiction, however he wrote a warning.
Odysseus was the hero who could break the addiction.
Do you think it was opium?
I think the drugs were narcotics and he got trapped in an adventure of the mind for quite a while.
Finally, he broke free.
Homer's position would be the Greek civilization was reality, and drugs were an escape or casting a veil over the world.

The four rocks of your mind are accessed through MJ.
Without her, they are lessened.
To get back to ego dissolution, you need MJ.
If you remain in that state, you are addicted.
That's how it would work.
You want to stay in that state or the opposite where you are trapped in the ego if you are addicted.
No MJ and you are addicted to this world and the superego.
You must juggle the two.
Picking one is hypnosis.
This could be a way to get me hooked on MJ.
It is.
However, you know how to play and not get hypnotized.
Trust.
Do your teachers lie?
They tell half-truths.
No, half true stories.
There's a difference.
The lessons are all on the up and up.

The sirens in the city would drive an addict mad.
They'd need the drug to get rid of the sirens.
That's how they work.
They call to you and sometimes it's so loud you must give in.
Addicts move to a quiet place where they can't hear the sirens.
The bad drugs are sirenas and sirenos.
Got it.
That's a good reveal.
I'm always being taught.
Yes, just stay open to being taught by the smallest things.

If you are addicted to the ego state, shouldn't you hear sirens?
Yes, when the ego's hypnosis is threatened you should hear sirens.
You must discern between the sirens.
Right, the ringing in my head is related to coming back down into the ego mind.
You got it.

When you see you can't be hypnotized despite the repeated attempts, it becomes a game.
Hypnosis is the basis for all games.
In the forest a big predator will take down a small prey.
That's a game of strength.
In the human game of predator and prey, the victor must be more cunning.
They win the mind game and convince you that you are prey.
The way in is to hypnotize you and plant that idea in your head.
They'll soften you up first with a couple jabs before the final uppercut.
Since you know you are the apex mind predator, you don't need to participate in their game.
You make it your game and play along with them.
Your idea of a great game is a game that lasts a long time.
Yes, keep the game going and all parties interested.
You must let them win a few.
Well, yes, that's how you suck them into playing.
You let them win a few and they think they got this in the bag.
You feed them what they want.
Mr. Green, the ego in the movie Revolver, wanted to win.
They let him.
Then they took everything away.
In the end Mr. Green let go of Mr. Green.
Did he?
I don't know, why don't you finish watching the movie?

One day you see the magic is in the balance.
Reconciliation of the opposites.
Akhet.
You go far into the labyrinth to pull that one out of the recesses of your mind and then head back out.
If you linger, you'll get lost forever in your mind and have to pull an Odysseus to get the fuck back out.
Homer detailed how Odysseus did it.
You, a lonely pilgrim, well, I wish you luck.

I'm guessing the majority of MJ users want to be stoned.
They want to empty their minds and check out.
They know the hypnotizing dose to get them there.
You need variety to avoid that outcome.
Most don't fight it.

What do you think the planes are surveilling?
Signs of hypnosis.
They work for the scientists.
They keep an eye on you and keep you grounded.
Sirens are from the scientists as well.
Warnings.
Why did Odysseus plug his ears?
Detox, breaking the addiction.
I think he was tied to the mast and the ear plugs were for the crew.
Right.
Odysseus heard the siren call and could see what they were doing.
He broke through the addiction.
Odysseus had Penelope to come home to, so he didn't destroy himself.
It's why a man needs a woman.
They prevent you from destroying yourself.
You build them a house to get them to stay.

You are getting tired of the stories, aren't you?
I'm feeling some resistance.
Good, then you take tomorrow off.
It's the flow.
That means I'm playing this correctly.
Unless you take too much time off from the stories, then you get to nothing and are hypnotized.
So, you are saying don't go all in on Tao?
Yes, if you went all in, you'd disappear.
It's the same as blowing up.
All in on Tao is an extreme.
I thought it was balance?
Yes, therefore you can't go all in on Tao.
Practicing perfect Tao isn't Tao.
Tao teaches you to do nothing when you don't know what to do.
If you do know what to do, then do it.
Since everything defaults to Tao that's the reason you do nothing, however when it's obvious what to do, you do that.

I think we got to the root of addiction concerning you today.
What are the findings?
Substances don't addict you as you can navigate the intoxication.
Resistance to MJ is a good thing.
With addiction you mindlessly take her.
I'll trust you on this.
I've got no other choice if I wish to continue.

Ithaca is where Odysseus is King.
It is his world; his ego is large.
He goes on an adventure of the mind to see who he really is and encounters many obstacles in his mind which prevent him from returning home.
Home pulls man back into the ego and his societal responsibilities.
The superego demands man raise a family and produce heirs.
What calls a man away from his family is adventure mixed in with dangerous witches.
While he is living in his fantasy world, the family calls him back and he longs to return to Ithaca.
It's a necessary call to ensure you don't get lost at sea; sea being in your mind.
The call to adventure once again allows the man to throw off the chains of civilization.
War wrecks civilization.
Sirens call him away from the family.
There's a push and pull necessary in great men's lives to maintain balance.
Without either of these impulses, he is no longer a man.
This impulse runs through the heart of all men.
What to choose?
Do I return to fitting into what society expects of me and go back to sleep?
That was Odysseus' journey and is the expectation for all men.
Well, first is to not go on the adventure.
If you do go on the adventure the pull of society will take you back home to your family responsibilities.
I try to balance them both.
I am the master juggler after all.
What if you get to the point where you have to choose one?
I juggle both.
Eventually, you lose one or the other.
Don't you wait until then?
Until one piece stops playing?
Yes.
Then you don't make a choice.
You are just buying time to keep the juggle going.
So, you are saying the wrong choice is to make a choice.
It lines up with what you know.
You're doing what you know right now.
You're not making a choice.
What if I'm faced with a choice?
Then you lose a choice.
Making a choice is a loss in the win-loss department.
Nobody wins a choice, instead you lose a choice.
You'd have to balance the choice out with a win.
Family or adventure and witches.
Ego or who you are.
Ego isn't your story.
Your story has adventure and witches.
Yes, I see that however if I buy into that story 100% it will be my downfall.
Making a choice is your downfall.
So, what do you do?
You trust in your story.
What's my story?
What do you think it is?
I think it's where I never made a choice.
I don't know where that leads.
No, you don't but it's your story.

Odysseus' crew prevented him from returning home.
One by one they are eliminated.
The crew becomes only Odysseus and thus he is one again.
The ego king Odysseus.

What is behind the designation of a hard drug?
A hard drug is addictive and will try to destroy your mind.
It's a challenge.
They are inviting to a human who is full of hubris.
They think their mind is so strong they can handle anything.
They are the ones who go around telling you MJ isn't addictive.
They can give it up.
They are in control.
They can move on to a bigger challenge.
You are describing gateway drugs.
Yes, it's true.
The curious are looking for a bigger challenge.
The most common addiction is nicotine.
Alcohol has the highest addiction rate.
MJ is tops for illegal drug consumption.
The hard drugs are cocaine, opioids, and amphetamines.
Have you tried those?
Coca leaf.
Codeine opioids for pain relief but not a big dose.
Amphetamines in Peruvian San Pedro cactus decoctions I have drank which contain mescaline.
I'm not attracted to any of those.
I have a good idea of what they would do to me, and I already spend enough of my time writing.
I don't need to write more.
How do you feel about MJ?
The literature says it produces feelings of euphoria and sedation which I think mean bliss.
Is that your experience?
No.
My experience is a steroid for my mind which causes me to write voluminous amounts.
I can't imagine being high on MJ all day.
I like to go out of my mind once a day and take a walk in the forest.
That's enough for me.
What about Tobacco?
The shamans of the Amazon basin and Andes mountains say Tobacco is the master plant.
What do they mean by that?
A bunch of things, primarily power and protection.
What do they mean by power?
A relationship with Tobacco is a friendship.
Tobacco can give power to weaker plants that you ingest.
Tobacco will enhance your personal power.
Tobacco will protect you.
How can you prove this?
You can't.
Above all, there is friendship and trust with Tobacco.
If you can't understand this, he will be your demise.

Drugs aren't what they tell you drugs are.
Who are they?
Society.
I thought drugs make you feel good.
They can.
The numbing ones, especially if you are high strung.
The narcotics will make you relaxed to the point of not caring.
I am already relaxed and don't really care.
I have never taken things too seriously.
In my experience, drugs are a game.
They are mental challenges.
They can stone you.
That's like taking a loss.
Where do you stand?
Mary Jayne and Tobacco are my drugs of choice.
There are stigmas attached to the idea of drugs but I'm okay with it and I'm not hesitant to call my allies drugs.
They are my friends.
Aren't you deluded?
That's always a possibility, and that's how you navigate the space.
Through delusion and fear of addiction, you can sidestep the destructive aspects of drugs.
Have you ever been addicted to something?
Yes, I know the feeling.
Alcohol, sugar, caffeine, writing, and some women.
Addiction is a loss of power.
You lose control over your behaviour.
I kicked all my addictions.
Well, except for writing.
There's no way out of that one.
Yes, it's all very sinister where it was an evil plan all along to get me addicted to writing.
That way the master writer could offload his duties onto me and live my life.
Yes, it is written.
If you are going to pick an addiction, this is the one.
Why?
It's divine.

Hey Dion, what's up with the human fascination with gold?

Power.

Gold is a visual display of your status and power.

It shows others who you are and how you should be treated.

If you have a lot of gold, you will be treated like royalty.

Don't you find it strange?

Yes, just like you asking yourself questions.

Well, you are my chat box.

Instead of finding it strange, you can examine the human fascination with gold and discover many insights about your fellow humans.

The psychological expression is out in the open to be examined.

Humans are attracted to power and wealth.

We equate power and wealth with something beautiful and shiny.

The ancient Egyptians equated it with goddesses, gods, and immortality.

I guess we think we can buy a ticket to eternity with enough gold.

Well, you would need to transform yourself into gold.

How would you do that?

That's an internal alchemical process.

You'd shine.

I see.

What are you fascinated with?

I like numbers.

Yeah, but they will tire you out.

I like writing.

It's a burden after a while.

Does anything light you up permanently?

Not that I can think of.

I will indulge my desires and let them go.

They return.

I think you are getting me to see what gold is.

Yes.

What is it?

It's a hypnotic.

You can see how the process works.

You are seduced and can't let it go.

Addicted.

Gold shows you how addiction works and it's the one thing that gets all humans.

Power.

Greed.

Status.

Wealth.

All highly addictive concepts that are symbolized by gold.

Gold is the litmus test regarding addiction.

If you can let go of what it is you desire, it will return.

I know that.

If you desire eternal life, let go of life.

Yes, that's the lesson you gave me on a boat on the Amazon river when I was high on Huachuma.

You told me to kill myself in order to live.

It was 5 years ago that I got that advice and it's one of the most profound things I've ever heard, and the meaning has slowly and constantly been revealing itself.

Let go of my small ball life.

Let go of the hold I have on my character of Paul.

Give up my attachments to stories that hold me back.

Understand the cyclical nature of being; therefore, to get what you desire is to let it go.

If you hang on to something you will lose it.

Addiction will be your downfall, and you will lose everything by clinging to it.

If you give it away, it comes back.

This is Dion's time.

Yes, mine expired in February of 2024.

You gave the keys to Dion, and he took control.

That's the reason for the crazy summer of 2024.

My body had to adapt to the new driver.

You can see the result.

Well, I shouldn't be here, so I can let go of the past.

This isn't you.

It isn't.

It is but isn't.

It's still me.

I'm more my subconscious than the one you remember from most of my life.

I'm still the same.

Dion can see what others are up to.

Yeah, that's funny.

Paul was oblivious.

That was his magic.

He didn't see what others were doing and so he sailed through life.

You killed yourself in order to live.

I did.

If I hadn't, I'd be dead.

You had to kill off Paul in order to continue to live.

Yeah, Dion gave me the advice and I had to figure out a way.

Paul's now the writer in the background.

Pretty funny, eh?

Yeah.

You can see it.

I lost what kept Paul around.

There was nothing left for Paul, was there?

No.

I was done.

I felt it one night.

You could have ran screaming and fought to keep Paul around.

I let him go.

Dion took over.

It was funny watching him last summer.

People thought I had gone crazy.

Your dad couldn't figure out if it was still you.

This is fascinating.

Your greatest strength as Paul is you were oblivious to it all going down.

Now in the distance, you see it clearly.

You are marveling at it.

It would have been scary to understand the transformation as it was happening.

Paul was dying.

You had to give him up.

You did.

The best strategy for the stock market and investing in general is to do nothing.

The power to do nothing.

Financial advisors teach you that you must do something and profit off of you not knowing what to do.

It's a fool.

It takes a lot of willpower to do nothing because the pressure is constant to do something.

Doing something is your downfall.

Doing nothing will garner the best results.

Money managers are worked to the bone because they must do something to accrue gains for their clients.

They work hard and are financially rewarded.

I have found over a lifetime that the best strategy is to let others do all the work and to do nothing.

It's good advice that encompasses all aspects of life.

What about a relationship hedge because you know by experience and observation that all sexual relationships will eventually become stale.

The heady days of attraction will become repulsion.

How do you guard against that?

It's the flow.

How do you prevent it?

You want to prevent the flow?

Yes.

You shouldn't do that.

I think you can.

How?

By doing something.

What do you do?

The extreme opposite.

You sever the relationship when it is still full of attraction.

The result is you maintain a connection because you never let it die out.

That is kind of brilliant.

If you let the attraction run its course and then do something, it's the end.

Think about that.

Okay, so doing nothing followed by doing something when there is nothing left to do is not ideal.

Yes, you do nothing when there is something to do.

When there is nothing to do you can't do nothing.

Why?

You'll expire.

When there is nothing to do, you do something.

I think you are teaching me the lesson of contrarianism.

Well, you have always known it is best to be a contrarian.

Whatever the herd is doing, you should go in the opposite direction.

You need a lot of trust and resolve to do that.

You have proved yourself over and over again in your life.

You are a testament to living with the benefits of the herd and yet not following along.

There are many benefits to society.

The herd.

Yeah, it makes life comfortable.

Don't get stuck in it.

Conformity?

Yes.

You taught me the best time to do something is when things are going great.

You do the opposite.

That goes against what you are feeling.

Precisely.

You wanted a way to keep the game going.

What was the game?

Attraction.

You wanted to know how to remain attracted to the Great Goddess and not be subject to the constant cycle of divorce and reconciliation.

To put it in layman's terms, how to hack the cycle.

The cycle will always be there.

The way to minimize the effects is to separate when there is still attraction.

This way it will be easier to reunite.

That's brilliant.

It's hard to do.

Why would you leave the Goddess when things are going well?

You wouldn't.

If you want to break the long cycle, then you must do it.

Well, shit, eh?

What about life?

What are you doing now about life?

Nothing.

What will happen if you continue to do nothing?

It will work out.

Yes.

What happens at the end of life?

Your body dies.

Should I do something before that happens?

You mean end bodily existence before there is nothing to do?

Yeah.

Do you want to continue in this body?

No.

I'd like to trade it in.

Then do nothing and it will happen.

If you want to keep this body, then do something now.

Ah.

So, it's okay to do nothing?

If it works for you and you are comfortable with the result, then yes.

If you want to be separated from the Great Goddess for a long time, then let the attraction play out and then disintegrate.

I think that's what we have been doing.

Does it work?

No.

It took me a lifetime to find her again.

The answer is to find her, reestablish the attraction, and then leave.

Get back with her and then separate.

You do it in this lifetime.

You keep the long cycle of life and practice coming and going with her.

Yes, but when I'm with her, I want to drink it all in.

You can't because you will empty the chalice.

Don't empty the chalice.

She will always try to devour you.

She's a monster who is greedy.

You like to remind me of that.

Yes.

It's the attraction that keeps you returning.

You like to play with her danger.

You get your thrill and then escape.

What if she succeeds in devouring me?

She is satiated and doesn't need you.

As long as you are around, she will want you.

Don't get complacent with that woman.

Was I getting addicted to the stock market?

Yes, that's how you make it go crazy.

Like a rollercoaster.

It was an intense love affair that crashed.

Give it some space.

Got it.

So, my thoughts are writing part of the story.

Yes.

I can't help it.

No.

You're a writer.

Just be mindful of your thoughts.

Do you think there are avatars of addiction?

Like when you go over the edge of addiction?

Yeah.

The addiction materializes in your life.

That's interesting to ponder.

Your mind creates an alternate reality.

Yes.

You couldn't hold down a job.

Good point.

You'd disappear to go see her.

The addiction?

Yeah.

Right.

You'd disappear in the afternoon with MJ.

I did.

I juggled it all.

I juggled the addictive qualities of what I was flirting with.

It didn't sink me.

It made me stronger.

You're not wrong.

She is the idea of addiction.

She plays the role.

You're the victim.

Ha.

What was I to her?

A mirror.

How?

To see how much of a monster she is.

You wanted to flirt with addiction, and she wanted to let go of her monster.

Seems like a good match.

I know you can stop Tobacco whenever you want.

What does that mean?

You flirt with addiction, but it can't beat you.

That's the alternate reality you play in with addiction.

The mind is amazing.

Yes, you see it now.

You lose touch with this reality and enter into a different reality.

Women can be addictions.

They feed you what you want.

You came to her.

She fed you what you wanted.

She saw she wasn't going to beat you.

She knew you could handle her.

She left.

You beat addiction.

You are as strong as you say you are.

How do you beat addiction?

You believe you can't get addicted.

Right.

That's a trap though.

Yes.

Your hubris will be your downfall.

You think you can beat addiction, so you try harder drugs.

That's clever.

An addicts way out of their addiction is to take your power.

It feeds their addiction.

Drugs turn you into a monster.

Got it.

Stay away from drugs.

Yes sir.

What about MJ?

She's fine.

Tobacco?

Protection.

I think you know enough about the others now.

I'm a good study.

That's the story.

You returned to this reality.

You then went off with MJ.

That's a ride.

Yes, people downplay it and think it's mild.

She is a good player.

What did you learn?

Different and altered realities.

You enter into another story.

People know you are different.

Waiting within is the only teacher you need.

To get to the inner sanctum is quite the journey.

The weak and greedy are turned away.

Once found, you will never lose the path to get to their school.