her story

Honouring the Goddess in my dream.

The veneration is because without her there is no story.

Then within the story she becomes the main antagonist.

You have created quite the story.

It certainly is unexpected.

The expectation is you would create a grand story exalting the Goddess because she is the reason for creation.

She is the divine feminine mother who births the story and all subsequent life forms.

Nothing is possible without the Goddess.

You are referred to as a misogynist for your narrative.

I was given the pen and the ability to make the gifts of the Goddess manifest.

I could write a simple and dull story of her greatness and how she is worshipped.

Perhaps I would create a utopia where everyone has equal access to her fruits and lives a happy and wondrous life.

That was the expectation when I was tasked with writing her story.

The accusation becomes that I am writing his story.

I do protest and claim narrative sovereignty.

I am indeed writing her story in the twisted way that reveals my story.

This is my story about her story.

Call me names if you must; however, the nature of the story remains true to the idea of the Goddess' creation.

She is the one responsible for all life.

She is the most powerful.

She is to be feared.

She is to be honoured.

My story encapsulates all these necessities.

You created a monster.

Leviathan.

Tiamat.

That's her.

A man must subdue her in order for history to commence.

Why?

Fertile predation.

She will constantly consume and create.

What does she consume?

Men.

Why?

To create life.

How does she do it?

She drains you of your life force.

She cloaks it in neat little turns of phrases such as "men are providers".

It's superior to saying a man has the life force necessary to spark the generation of life within a woman and she will do what is necessary to take it.

You give them what they want.

In nature they just take it.

We humans are a little more civilized when it comes to the mating game.

The female praying mantis takes what it wants and then kills the male.

Yes, that's the template.

Your outlook is very dark.

I'm a realist.

A realist easily becomes a misogynist.

Why is that?

Women are monsters.

Look at their hands.

They have scaly claws.

They paint their nails to try and hide it.

I'd say you are very funny except what you're writing is unacceptable in today's society.

I know, that's how they get away with it.

You can't talk about it.

Well, you can, but you are classified as a misogynist and dismissed.

Do you have proof?

Of what?

That they are monsters.

Sure, let's go back to the beginning of recorded time.

What do you find?

In the Old Testament Book of Genesis, God enacts the story of creation by first subduing the Goddess.

How do you get that out of the opening?

Well, here are the verses from the New International Version:

1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

Okay, it says God made up a place and put himself in it.

Correct.

How does that implicate the Goddess?

Read it.

What does it say?

The place he made up was formless, empty, dark, deep, and chaotic.

Right.

In your study of mythology what is that the symbol of?

The feminine divine.

They are dark and chaotic.

Well, why didn't the author of Genesis just write that God subdued the Goddess and created the world?

Subtlety, my friend.

A rewrite would be God the author of creation wrote this story about the Goddess, but after putting pen to paper he immediately had to contain her because she would devour the page.

Why?

She's a monster.

Got it.

In the Babylonian myth of Enuma Elish, Marduk subdues the female monster Tiamat.

That myth doesn't mess around.

Yes, order must subdue chaos or we have no story.

If you want a religion that is more straightforward then there you go.

Marduk divides Tiamat's body in half which creates heaven and earth.

Her tears create the waters.

Away we go.

Genesis without the metaphors.

You identify with Marduk more than Yahweh.

Yeah, I don't beat around the bush.

I see the myths come alive and interpret them in my own way.

It's direct.

The reason God has the claim to the throne of the most high is because he can subdue the Goddess.

His greatness is tied to his ability to contain her just as with Marduk.

The Goddess appears in the Old Testament first as Leviathan.

Why do you think there's a whole priesthood dedicated to keeping her asleep?

You mean the Levite priesthood?

Yeah.

They are obviously given that name because their role is to keep the monster down.

Leviathan priesthood.

Interesting read.

In order to maintain his role, God must keep the Goddess away.

Asleep.

Why?

She is more powerful than him.

As long as she remains enchanted or suppressed by the priesthood then she is contained.

How do they do that?

They keep her children, the Israelites, faithful to God and his plethora of commandments and rules.

The sheer responsibility of following those rules is enough to suppress the divine feminine impulse.

Women are treated as second class citizens and given requirements of purity and cleanliness.

If they are menstruating and closer to their true nature, they are exiled from the group until it is over, and then they must purify themselves before returning to the community.

So, this is proof that the nature of women is monstrous?

Yes, it's a story.

There's myth and a backstory.

There is the reflection of her in nature and biology.

And there is my own lived experience.

Do you think that is enough to make this sweeping claim?

Sure.

Don't you think you are being too literal or harsh?

It's my story.

My story does honour her.

You have a definite way with words.

Was a fairy tale romance to be expected of me?

I think that's the expectation.

My body of work is full of twisted tales, what was expected?

Compliance and a blockbuster for the Goddess.

She got her blockbuster.

It's reality.

Yes, but she's a monster.

Yeah, but she wanted to be recognized for her greatness.

I did it.

The Great Goddess is the reason for the story.

She's it.

The main character.

All goes through her.

Birth and death.

What am I missing?

Her reputation.

Yeah, that needs rehabilitation.

Can you write that?

Change comes from within.

Oh boy.

ramblings

It's fascinating that this is all a dream.

Story.

That definition helps with comprehension.

It is an illusion.

So is a story.

Drama, play, or game.

All acts. 

Different ways to play.

Remember to play. 

You can treat life as a drama or a game.

Get it?

Yes.

What about when I'm awake?

You're the writer and taking in ideas.

You'd write that you still must subconsciously write in your story.

This spills out into consciousness.

I'm full of words and write down the spillage.

Word ejaculation.

Everything is derivative of a sexual metaphor.

Seems that way.

What if cannabis wasn't legal?

I'd have to find another method of awakening.

What other methods?

Plant medicine ceremonies.

The problem is it's a cycle of work once a year with those plant medicines. 

Mary Jayne is a daily dose.

It's a maintenance dose.

2.5 mg is.

That's what micro dosing is.

They want into the headspace without the crazy side effects.

I think there's an ego dissolution threshold which micro dosing won't get to.

They mistakenly think this will get them to where they want to go.

Some do it for advantage or creativity.

They want to tap into it.

The continued use of ego dissolving medicine will make you crazy.

It's by design of the medicine.

It's one of the tests to see if you can handle ego dissolution.

If you can't handle it, it's death, and you go.

That's a step too far into the abyss.

By abyss you can substitute labyrinth.

Going crazy is the key to changing your story.

You get to a point in the game where you need to change your story because you fucked up.

Right, so you go crazy and change it.

I thought you weren't supposed to change your story?

Technically, you didn't.

You did nothing, which is crazy, and so your story changed.

Yes.

You trust in doing nothing.

I changed my story with psychedelics.

Yes, by doing nothing.

You were offered it all, and you did nothing.

They are tests and by doing nothing, the teachers become allies.

How did psychedelics change my story?

They set you on the path to God which brought you here. 

They woke you up.

A knock on the head.

A calling.

It's an alarm.

The bells go off and finally you answer the call or shut off the alarm.

Some do and go back to sleep.

Or, they set up multiple alarms.

Mine goes off and I get up.

Especially with the dogs.

I was good at that.

You wake up and change your story.

Then you go back to sleep.

You ignored the calls, didn't do anything, and then waited until now to wake up.

I did it naturally.

Not rushed. 

So, another key is to wake up naturally.

Do you think you did that?

Yeah, it's taken a while.

It seems like a proper passage of time.

You could have woken up 11 years ago, but you took your time.

Waking up on your own time without an alarm is the flow.

You're awake, that's why no more big plant medicine ceremonies for you. 

Do you wake up twice?

If you are awake, can you wake up?

It would be another reality.

Why the resistance to changing habits?

Habits are in balance.

Go to bed and wake up at the same time.

Eat regularly.

All this routine puts you back to sleep.

Being awake is crazy then.

Sort of.

You must create an imbalance to awaken, however too much and you go crazy.

By creating a container which allows you to awaken daily, you have figured out the key to your desire to win the game and simultaneously keep it going.

What is the cause of misogyny?

What can trigger it?

Women who accuse men of harbouring this condition are looking for confirmation.

I think I was correct in asserting they have a resentment of men.

It's because men are in control of the world and women want this power.

This leads to their behaviour.

The accusations of misogyny sometimes come from a vacuum.

There needs to be more balance in how women are perceived.

I was naive most of my life and though I ran into women with questionable behaviour towards not only men but other women, I still pedestalize them.

I thought men were the problem for the most part.

I think there is equal blame.

It took me a long time to recognize women are a cause of misogyny.

Their behaviour could make you a misogynist.

It's destructive and nonsensical.

I was able to accept half the blame and carry on.

Things happen before I realize it.

That is the key to not writing the story but knowing about it.

You recognize the story after it happens.

Of course you do, you wrote it.

If you could write what is to happen then you'd know beforehand.

You'd be a fortune teller.

So, that's what they have?

They recognize the story before it happens.

You recognize it after it happens.

They can't change it.

You know the story because you're the writer.

Your other half knows the story.

I can't tell you.

I'm sworn to secrecy.

You can recognize it after it happens.

All you can do is guess based on what you'd write.

First, I'd write that I live to the ripe old age of 96 and make women the ones who give me the strength to go on living because they are always trying to kill me.

I must keep on my toes.

Finally, they got me at 96.

I'd had enough of that game by 96.

The audience loves that story.

It's possible then.

I was thinking about the witch sacrifice story where I'm still relatively young.

Like 69.

I twist that story at the end.

Are those the two most likely stories?

I think so.

I could also write women out of my story.

Do you think you'll do that?

Probably not.

Really there are three choices.

Well, I won't choose because I can't.

I'll just see which one it is leaning towards.

If I had to guess I'd say the witches' story.

It's preposterous and twisted.

Plus, the witch on the hill clue the other day.

What if that was a witch planting that idea in your head?

Then it was.

Witches have all the ideas.

I found out the reason.

Good call.

It's just a guess but I think it will be the witch story.

That one resonates the most.

The old age one is good though.

What about the dog story?

There are 7 stories - the witch is one and the dog is one.

Old age isn't one?

No, different timelines.

You need stories which fit the 69 timeline.

You're an idiot.

There's a sexual metaphor.

What is it?

You are licking her big dirty cunt at the same time she is blowing you.

Thank you for the explanation.

Do you know the 7 stories?

I have the themes.

I can make out the stories and where they fit into the 7 stories.

They must have a 7 basis.

The ritual ceremony today I was close to getting it correct.

I took a step that was in the wrong direction.

I went around.

Got called out.

I think when I finish the ritual every story will be true.

Or false.

What would you write?

Odds are 50-50.

Yes, that's it.

I see.

Half the stories are true.

What if there were three?

Stories must be an even number, or they aren't balanced.

They are in an odd container.

Yes, 7 stories and inside the container everything is balanced.

That's how you balance the 7.

The odd.

You balance it with a world of 7 where everything is strangely and evenly balanced.

That's odd.

Exactly.

In this world everything will balance when you let it be.

Everything must balance.

You know how annoying it is when your table legs are not balanced?

Yes.

That was my inspiration for a lot of this book, and I made it so everything has to balance.

It was a cheap table at a pizza place which inspired a lot of this story.

Here's a question: do you think women are malicious or this is just what they do?

They're crazy because this is their normal behaviour. 

It's right in your face.

This is who they are.

All marriages are doomed.

If you recognize them for who they are it will make more sense.

If you deny what a woman is then you will never understand them.

Men project a false illusion of women.

Our ignorance causes distortion in women.

When left to their own devices they revert to who they are.

They are monsters.

You are a terrible writer.

It all works though.

These monsters hide, however women see them.

I'm the hunchback laughing at this story.

That's the monster story.

You wrote all women are monsters in disguise.

That's what the makeup is for.

I bet Leviathan was a woman like Tiamat.

Yes, so Yahweh slayed Leviathan, and he became God who was worshipped for slaying the beast.

The Levi priests keep Leviathan asleep so God can reign.

That is the myth.

Eventually, the Leviathan wakes up and battles God.

Religious story here.

Story fits in the witches' realm as well.

Yes, Leviathan is a witch like the dragoness at Delphi who Apollo had to slay.

Is Apollo God then?

Sort of.

The basis of these religions was a god such as Marduk who subdues the monster to symbolize that women are monsters.

That's the deep religious understanding behind those religions.

Women are monsters.

I'm not saying this is the case; I'm interpreting myths.

They paint their faces to trick us.

We fall for it.

This story gets too stupid when I make women come from aliens who tried to emulate men but failed to get the cock correct so they don't have one.

There's no substitute for a penis.

You recognize a monster because they don't have a dick.

Well, that's true.

A shemale is a man trying to cosplay a monster.

I think the term now is transexual.

The alien story is a little much.

Women are needed to keep the game going.

You need more heroes and monsters to play.

How about we call them cunts?

Okay, you cock.

Why are we fighting?

You wrote women are monsters.

Not literally.

In some stories it's literal.

I do see the connection to their behaviour.

How does God beat the monster?

He marries her.

Give her a ring and a promise.

Men always break the promises, so that turns them into a monster. 

That or kids.

Kids will turn a woman into a monster.

A big hippopotamus.

Like Tauret?

Yes.

Thus, the marriage will fall apart.

Kids or broken promises make her a monster.

Then comes the divorce.

If you don't want them to be monsters, be faithful, and don't get them pregnant.

A woman's chief goal in life is to become a monster.

Career women look for a new way to bring out the monster.

You go crazy when you believe the stories.

You go half and half in believability of the stories to survive the pressure on your mind.

You drink half and half cream to survive because it reminds you of the split.

Why is it called half and half?

I don't know.

Apparently, it's half milk and half heavy cream.

Heavy cream is 35% and half and half is 10%.

In this world 10 is half of 35.

Correct.

What does that mean?

You are being fooled.

That's the simplest answer though there must be some hidden mystery behind it.

Profits?

So, about 31% of the stories are true?

Or, the opposite.

69?

Right.

Your math is off.

It's about 28.5%.

That's like the moon cycle.

Yes, so you know these stories come from the Goddess.

Yes, I know that.

I write them.

The lunar cycle takes 29.5 days to complete.

It takes the moon 27.3 days to orbit the earth.

So, she's off?

Yes, a little off for sure.

How about this information:

A solar year is 365 days and a lunar year is 354 days long. After every 33 years, they align. 

That 33 year marker to align cycles.

Just like the story I wrote at Chavín de Huantar tripping on Huachuma.

Half and half cream to get this knowledge reveal.

Women want your resources, so they cast a spell on you.
They use sex and cooking a lot.
You are satisfied and give them what they want.
I cook for myself.
Power move.
What about the death spell?
They try to bring you to the height of pleasure and then drop you over the cliff.

They want to get you lost in your own mind.
Who?
Your opponents.
Everyone else in the game.
Collectively, they are smarter.
It's you against the world.
Keep everyone separated and you win.
If humanity comes together, they will win.
So, I'm responsible for separation.
We all are.
We all want to win the game.
You won the game and kept it going.
You are awake and see the game and somehow you let them continue to play.
Yes, so I can play too.
Remember to play.
It's a major theme in my story.
I'd have to be stone dumb to not see that.

The twist at year 69 is the witch awakens just as the sacrifice is to take place.

That is what you would write.

She sees it is just a story and takes control of the story.

What will she do with that power?

Tune in to find out.

She finally gets the power and realizes she must keep you around as the writer.

She tells you what to do.

It becomes her story as long as she can keep you alive.

Instead of trying to kill you, she has to do the opposite.

She frantically tries to keep you alive with every trick she knows.

Just like her death spell, eventually you break free of her alive spell.

Shouldn't she have cast that spell first if she wanted me gone?

Yes, that was her mistake.

You'd resist the alive spell by going.

So, women who make you feel alive are dangerous?

Yes, they are either going to get you under their spell because they are what keeps you alive or they will see your demise as you fight their spell.

That's more clever.

So, what happened?

She tried to crush you, and you are alive because you broke the spell.

She will cast an alive spell to keep you alive now because she is selfish.

Yes, she is a selfish monster.

Selfishness will be revealed in all women if you take the story to its logical conclusion.

You really are a piece of shit.

A polished turd.

divine lineage

The divine feminine and masculine come together in the centre of the grand Mesa at the axis mundi here in the symbolic expressed by the lanzon from Chavín de Huantar.

Brought together are the left and right hand paths of the feminine and masculine along with the lower and upper worlds of these energies. All is absorbed back into the representative of the Chavín god. Everything is reconciled into the centre. It is also expressed as the serpent and the jaguar. The serpent as the feminine creates the form and the jaguar as the masculine is the life force that roams this form. They are the two eternal energies that make up the sum total of all. The multi-dimensional reflection of the non-differentiated form is from these two. You can’t see one without two and centring yourself allows you to see one, two, and the many. The many collapses into the one just as the two through sexual union becomes an expression of the one.

Standing with this knowledge at the Mesa will eventually lead to understanding. We are conditioned to believe chaos is bad and can be demonstrated in expressions of madness and unpredictability. I think that’s true. Psychologically, we relegate the feminine to chaos and the striving of the masculine energy to order and reason. The great intellect of Jordan Peterson even wrote a book on this paradigm called “12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos” and in turn riled up the feminist class amongst us. Well, he is a master of controversy and is in turn misunderstood as we looked towards our developed prejudices and fail to look into the heart of the matter. I also wondered what were his intentions in writing this book? Getting to know his persona through the internet, I certainly didn’t detect misogyny, instead a refreshing honesty.

Feminine energy is chaos. Masculine energy tends towards order. Just ask Apollo, the Greek god of light and reason. Within the sum of ourselves are the interplay of these two gendered energies, so it is not mutually exclusive to either sex of the species. Knowledge is a great tool but understanding is divine. Taking the sum total of all I know and feeding it into my central processor, the brain, allows me to synergize the whole set up. Late at night, I stand there in front of my Mesa performing ritualistic acts that allow me to re-centre myself. Sometimes the epiphanies come. Epiphanies are the computer spitting out the punch card with the results. I see the sum of all energy at the axis mundi and then scattered throughout my Mesa and refracted through the prism of my mind are expressions of this energy. The one and the many. It is indeed I who brings this Mesa to life! I take unity and objectify that energy thus creating the world. I use my masculine powers to separate and behold reality!

Now back to centre. This form in the centre is non-differentiated. Aha! That is chaos and I intuitively knew it to be so. The non-differentiated energy has no order and no separation. We assign that condition to being a bad thing but it is in fact the reflection of order. What is the correct state or reality of energy? Is it the feminine unity or masculine separation? Many esoteric and Eastern traditions will tell you that because we are the ones that objectify, it is actually the spiritual truth that we are all one. Is that the truth? Is it the truth because from our perspective of dominate masculine energy in the culture we erroneously think the opposite spiritual state is true? If you want to stop the world it is true. However, the interesting part of the equation is that we live in a verb. Consciousness and existence as we know it is a wave vibration. Existence is defined by motion, which creates the illusion of time and separation. So, stop the motion and we have the truth. If we stop the motion then we have nothing. Just potential, which is the other side of coming forth. Is that really true? Why do you think the static trumps motion and motion creates illusory outcomes? Why do you think feminine chaos contains more truth than masculine objectification? Is it unsettling to have your prejudices laid bare? Yes it is because my spurious foundations are revealed once again. My understanding lies on a foundation of shifting sands. What if you can’t have one without the other? The dependency of the two creates the whole. The truth is if you see the two energies not in a sexual union then you see multiplicity. If your universal view is a sexual metaphor then we are indeed all one. Maybe Einstein was on to something with the whole relativity claim? It makes claims of truth and fanciful chasing of said truth very funny, if not frustrating.

Looking back into history, we see many budding civilizations grappled with this origin question and the dominance of each energy pole. At first, it was the feminine asserting her power which allowed creation to flourish however we are now living in the order of the masculine. Looking into my crystal ball reveals the logical outcome is pathological order which becomes tyranny. The system then collapses. Gazing back into the past, in the Mesopotamian basin the triumph of the masculine energy was mythicized as Marduk defeating the water serpent Tiamat, who personified the feminine chaos. In order for civilization to take hold, she had to be defeated. In the opening chapter of Genesis in the Bible, we see hints of this very thing as Yahweh takes the chaos and adds some light into the mix in order to separate things. Here are the passages from the King James Version.

1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

2 And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

3 And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.

4 And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.

5 And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

6 And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.

In the beginning nothing was differentiated until the masculine energy came along and started dividing things up. The Old Testament is also a great primer on the actions of masculine energy not tempered by the presence of balancing feminine energy. Fire and brimstone indeed and Jewish mythicists got that one spot on! In Greek mythology, Apollo comes along and kills Python, the enemy dragoness. This act occurred at Delphi which was considered the centre of the world. With the triumph over the feminine serpent, the Greek god of reason enabled a new consciousness in humans that celebrated the rise of individual differences. Apollo was victorious however reason still called upon the oracle at Delphi in the form of the prophetess called the Pythia. She had the gift of vision - something the mind clouded by logic and reason had to discard in order to rule. In addition, in ancient Egypt we have the god Re and his association with the cycles of time created by the sun, continuing along daily in a sun boat that is forever threatened by the chaos serpent Apophis. This battle is enacted daily and motion is eternally perpetuated by victory over chaos with the help of the strong masculine energy personified in the god Set.

Back to my Mesa. Look at how I intuitively set it up, though I didn’t know what I was doing.

The axis mundi is in the centre and the table is full of differentiated expressions of this energetic centre. However, overlooking this whole construct is this image of a jaguar within the form created by a serpent. Somehow, I knew the archetypal two lay at the head of what just is and I left it in place to discover at a later date in my journey to nowhere. The two become one and the one becomes the many. This is the divine lineage from which we all come. 

being healthily crazy

When you reconcile all back to centre by taking the feminine and masculine, lower self, self, upper self, water, earth, air, and the four directions you reconstitute the axis mundi. It is what you began with and have always had. Ultimately, life is not a quest to discover or attain anything; the journey is a way for you to eventually remember who you once were and reconcile all back to centre. It’s the big game and it’s one hell of an adventure. When you play, awaken, and realize you are everything then you become the I am - the self. You realize there is nothing that is not you. Freedom and liberation in this finite lifetime. From this you can take the next step which is if you are everything then to call it a self is a misnomer. There is no self; it just is.

How about a mythological lesson or two? In classical texts, the terms nusa, nyssa, and nyssi refer to a mountain that is the support stand of heaven, which is the axis mundi. With this information, it's not hard to figure out the Greco-mythical figure of Dionysos is the embodiment of the axis mundi. The ‘dio' part of the name is the connection to divinity. Dionysos is the god of the reconciliation of all. This is the eternal flame, the zoë, and the Great Spirit. The history of Dionysos extends beyond Classical Greek civilization into the Mycenaean period where a reference to the name was discovered in Crete during the Bronze Age Minoan civilization. This is a civilization that extends back in time to 3000 BCE. Why do ancient civilizations has a preponderance of gods and goddesses? Were they superstitious and intellectually inferior, devoid of the reason and logic that our civilization idolizes? My guess is they were more in balance with the dualistic powers of serpent and jaguar that animates the spirit within, instead of valuing and exalting one over the other and consequently losing the knowledge of both. Looking back into history, the evidence reveals the evolution came gradually: goddess and god became just god and eventually that was done away with and replaced by the man. Heralding this event into our civilization was reported by Plutarch who wrote, "The great god Pan is dead!" The news of Pan’s death was announced from the skies to a sailor named Thamus. Paganism, as nature worship, was struck down. The nineteenth century philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche exclaimed, “God is dead,” and then proceeded to write a book, ‘The Birth of Tragedy” in which he describes the Apollonian and the Dionysian divide within man and somehow he intellectually accomplishes the act of divorcing them from the gods he had buried. Welcome to man as the godman. Apollo gets top billing now as the bright light of reason and the epitome of man's destiny while the wild man is sent away. Nature remains under attack. Logic, reason, and science is now the god of our culture, personified by the intellect; the feminine chaos still exists in the waters of creation but is relegated to an afterthought. Artificial Intelligence and sentient robots of pure logic and reason will be the crowning achievement of history! Fuck feelings and love; what impediments! The Babylonian Marduk must take to the waters of chaos to kill Tiamat in order for civilization to progress. She has been wounded and relegated to the deep and here we are on the cusp of fulfilling that Mesopotamian myth. The ancient mind hadn’t devolved into this single-mindedness, thus they could sense all powers within the environment. It’s available to us if we can throw off the shackles of culture, get still, and feel.

The central idol of the Chavin culture of pre-Columbian South America, we now call the Lanzon, is also an axis mundi representing the reconciliation of all the forces of nature into one being.

The central idol in the temple of the Jaguar at Chavin

It is reversing the process of the power expanding outwards back into its source. It’s like picturing a point of consciousness that contains all and then seeing this potentiality projected out into the universe at large and subsequently finally realizing it is all you. You are seeing yourself at play. We have for the most part lost this meaning and to suggest it to most is to elicit the response of I don’t know what you are talking about, a dispassionate shrug, or a leave that up to the experts response.

When I drink Huachuma, I feel the coming of the god. It’s the idea of the complete self, once we shed the notion of the separate parts of yourself. I connect with all. I experience bringing it all back to centre, the axis mundi, and sit with the self and bask in the knowledge that it all starts with the great self and emanates all out from there. It’s a touchstone moment on the spiritual journey.

I’ve thought about physics and matter enough to realize that we are limited by our instruments and their ability to peer into subatomic particles. I believe that the further we are able to peer into the underpinnings of the all, the more it will just subdivide and confound us. I have embraced the idea that all is consciousness as in mental energy that vibrates and from these levels of vibration we get what we call rays and what we call matter. To use string theory as an analogy, where at its basic form there are an infinite number of strings which are vibrating and that’s what makes up the universe, well picture that but minus the strings. In other words, stringless theory.

The same goes for the self. It’s comforting to think we are an autonomous self and in a way we are, as long as we hold together the form however I have to believe at the root of all this is the same situation encountered in physics where eventually we will learn there is no self. We are just amalgamations of energy that have taken on a certain vibrational form and who knows how long that will last? Do we eventually disintegrate and return to the ocean of energy and continually transform into a new energetic being? Do you believe in magic?

Enjoy the ride.