seriously

In your mid-50s comes a test of the serpent goddesses to see if you are still virile.

Yeah, that's it, that's a reality.

What reality is that?

It's a reality the ancient Egyptians created.

How?

Through belief.

It's magic.

They were the most skilled in magic.

Do you think their magic involves only amulets, words of power, and a show?

I think that is part of it.

That gets the buy-in to belief.

Ceremony and ritual get the participants in the mind state which allows magic to happen.

Is that what happens in a plant medicine ceremonial circle?

Yes, everyone shares in the coming altered state.

The ancient Egyptians were using the same trance technology to create realities.

This is also rave technology.

You tune in to the DJ and their music, and everyone has a shared experience.

It's a different world.

So, what is this explaining?

Vibrational frequencies of being.

The captured human mind operates in a tight frequency that is the dominant narrative of those who control reality.

Who controls reality?

Those who are in charge.

Who is in charge?

The people who are in power.

Who are they?

Generally, the ones with the most money.

They set the agenda for the world, and we follow along.

It's the world order.

To change reality, you must get control of the world and shape it to your liking.

Reality is overlaid upon the physical structure.

So, you're the saying the physicality of the world is baked in?

In a physical sense, yes.

It's the container which allows realities to flourish.

Outside the container, you are unintelligible.

The trick is to operate within the permissible bounds of what is plausible.

You step outside of that, and it is madness.

Okay, but isn't the idea of two serpent goddesses coming to test your virility as you age and determine whether you live or die a little far-fetched?

It appears to be.

Why does it work?

It is grounded in this reality.

A magician takes the preposterous and adds a ground to it.

In this case the ancient Egyptian magicians took the idea of Goddess as a serpent and created a festival where they tested out the virility of the pharaoh in a recurring jubilee, they called the Heb-Sed.

It ensured the pharaoh was still fit enough to rule.

Everyone believed in it.

Oh, I'm sure there were some who doubted it.

Yes, those are society's outcasts who are forced out to the fringe or expelled completely.

A system has built into it a mechanism to expel non-conformists.

It's a top priority of any reality generating system.

Why is that?

Because an alternate reality can catch on like wildfire, burn down the current reality, and place a new reality in its place.

Christianity was such a brush fire.

It wasn't stamped out by the authorities.

Well, they tried, but the mechanism behind Christianity was ingenious because the more they tried to stamp it out, the hotter it burned.

Martyrs fuelled the cause.

It got out of control and took over.

Constantine the Great recognized it and instead of fighting it, he made a deal with those in charge of the movement.

He was enlightened in the sense he knew he couldn't fight Christianity and thus absorbed it.

Once given power, Christianity then stomped out its rivals.

Yeah, I see that.

That's how it works.

Thanks for the history lesson.

Well, it's important to be cognizant of history so when you do understand how the carnival works, you can put the pieces together.

Yeah, I see that, though no one is going to believe this.

Is it important that they believe what you write?

No, I don't think so.

Why would you care?

For validation, I guess.

Do you need validation from those immersed within society?

Hmm, no because then I'd be mainstream and assimilated, however, getting someone to take your ideas seriously helps as a check on madness.

Is that what you want?

Good question.

Alright, let's play it out.

You are taken seriously.

What does that entail?

I'd have to explain myself.

How are you going to do that?

I think I'd need to document my process of discovery.

What does that involve?

A mid-life crisis of belief.

Well, not belief per se, I didn't have any, but I wanted to discover the origins of belief in human societies.

This was a massive undertaking, and I didn't back down.

I educated myself.

I travelled to faraway places.

I read a ton of books.

Took classes.

Collected information.

That was the beginning stage.

Eventually, I hit on the idea of shamanism and altered states.

I then entered the experiential phase where I immersed myself in that world.

It was difficult, but I kept returning.

There was something to it.

I didn't know what, other than that I should keep going back and trying to figure it out.

Repetition worked and then I saw it.

Saw what?

A carnival and how meaning is derived from the carnival.

You make it up.

It's belief.

The origin of beliefs is from seeing a game, and the game is to make up your beliefs and then get everyone else to believe them.

That's pretty funny.

So, if I get people to take me seriously, they will find out I am the most unserious person in the world.

That's a paradox.

Taking you seriously would collapse the seriousness of this reality.

Yes, that's the result of getting people to take my ideas seriously.

So, you don't want that?

It's impossible.

If you take my ideas seriously you will collapse reality into a madhouse of unseriousness.

In other words, I can't be taken seriously.

learned

Maybe Alan Watts was correct about hanging up the phone when you get the answer.

He was referring to hard psychedelics.

He was talking about the answer.

I got the answer.

Are you still on the phone?

Yes, with Mary Jayne.

It's whether you trust MJ or Alan Watts.

I see.

If you trust her, you will continue, if you don't you stop.

Alan gave you a koan.

Who have you learned to trust?

Dogs, MJ, and Dion.

Any humans?

No.

Jesus?

No, he was in it for himself.

I can't think of a single human I'd trust.

I'd trust Parker, but only because he was a friend.

Friends let you down sometimes, I know that.

Did you trust Parker's judgement of character?

No, he was terrible at it.

He saw the good in all.

If you trust your ability, you can keep playing.

If you don't, you run.

What about Peyote?

I didn't run.

I didn't want to play because I didn't trust the circle.

Why would you trust Alan?

He's human, so I'll go with MJ.

The secret to winning any game is to trust your abilities.

I know I'm awake and how to change consciousness.

Ram Dass laid it out perfectly with his switching channels analogy where you can go between all the available frequencies.

When I'm resident in ego consciousness, I'm grounded and can dismiss the other channels.

If I did not cycle between these different states of being, I could see how easy it is to become comfortable with the one ego state and that's where we all end up getting trapped.

Being awake means putting batteries in the remote control and changing consciousness.

This leads me to yesterday's question where I wondered about Alan Watts' saying where if you get the message, it's time to hang up the phone.

I've received the message, and I know the game.

I have uncovered what it is I had searched for many years to find.

I knew it was time to let go of the intensive phase of plant medicine experiences which involved heavier psychedelic substances that include Ayahuasca, Huachuma, Peyote, and Magic Mushrooms.

I wondered about Mary Jayne.

She is not lumped in with the stronger consciousness altering modalities and I find that strange because my experience is that once I cracked open my head with the others, MJ became what I needed to do on a regular basis to follow the trail of self.

I can change consciousness on a daily basis with MJ and still function in this world.

With heavy psychedelics, I can't do that as the experience is intense.

With MJ, I can be present and learn.

Along with her is Tobacco, the master plant.

When you embark upon a plant medicine journey with the excellent teachers found in South America, they constantly tell you Tobacco is the master plant and being a westerner this goes against everything you have been taught about Tobacco.

Tobacco is bad and will kill you.

That I don't doubt.

If you use Tobacco, he will kill you.

I spent a lot of years with Tobacco gaining trust and friendship through study, reverence, and resolve.

I'd say it was 7 years to get to a place of trust with him.

So, the question is: Why is Tobacco the master plant?

Tobacco gives you protection against everything.

He makes you stink, so the malevolent spirits stay away, and the inviting ones are let in the doorway of self.

You can make an impenetrable fortress around yourself.

Tobacco amplifies the high and then takes you low.

Whatever rollercoaster you are on, Tobacco will give it power.

Tobacco is power.

Whatever plant you wish to work with is given power by Tobacco, so if a plant spirit is not strong enough to register, you combine them with Tobacco.

In addition, whatever plant, animal, or ethereal spirit you may have worked with in the past is always with you and Tobacco will call on those spirits when needed.

I have a list of allies and with Tobacco those allies are always on call.

My practice is Mary Jayne and Tobacco.

If I hung up the phone with them, I'd lose protection and the ability to change consciousness.

I understand what Alan said in that once you get the answer and you keep going, it can become dangerous.

It gets dark.

It gets really bright.

The extremes are the danger where you fall off the cliff.

I trust MJ and Tobacco.

They taught me about trust, and it is a pillar of my path.

They taught me who I can trust.

This reality dream feels really real when I'm doing the salt rinse.

That feels like a profane thing to do like taking a shit.

Salt is good for grounding when you are high.

So is taking a shit.

Sugar lifts you out of darkness.

Depressed people love sugar.

Yes, so if I was trapped in a dark story, I should consume sugar?

Salt when you are too high.

The sugar candies I bring are best for darkness?

Yes, but that counts for the actual physical darkness.

Should I bring something salty?

You do - Ambil.

Tobacco gives you a rush and Ambil's salt will take you down off the rollercoaster.

Tobacco will do that; Ambil just lets you go on the biggest rollercoaster.

Up then down.

Why is darkness sometimes at the high point?

Light and dark aren't tied to high and low.

Oh, right.

What was today?

Low light.

Down low.

I'm confused.

It's low light.

You saw into the story being crafted and it was a low.

It's not dark.

You confuse low and dark.

What's the highest darkness?

It's when you know nothing.

It's bliss.

That's the optimum place to be.

That's like meditation.

Yes.

Low light is the worst.

I see that.

Meditation will take you there as well if you are any good at it.

What about a high light?

It's great.

You will be remembered for your highlights.

You will be remembered for your low lights.

Light is a mixed bag.

What about low dark?

That's really dark, man.

No one survives that.

You get terrible thoughts you keep to yourself and then it all goes dark.

Okay, I see that.

So, I should eat candy at that point.

Yes, if you think you need it.

They are called lifesavers for a reason.

It's a secret cheat code to get you out of the darkest of the dark.

What about the low light?

Same thing, eat sweets.

If you are on too much of a high light ego trip, then eat some salt.

Same thing with a dark high where you are in a state of bliss.

Salt will take you down.

the devious mind of a writer

We place a filter over reality.

This was how my dream ended this morning before I got up.

I had a choice of look up tables to place over my senses depending on how I wished to see the world.

This coincides with what Mary Jayne was teaching me concerning being out in the woods and the energy being the same.

I saw the deer however I knew they were from a magical realm.

The magical realm is a different reality.

If you tell someone this, they will look at you funny because we are all programmed to see the same reality.

This is from a lesson on vibration with Huachuma back in 2017.

It involves locking to a frequency and how we all lock to the same frequency.

You can adjust your vibration and learn not to get stuck in one.

Come in and out of different realities.

Reality is what you are sensing.

What you can sense has many possibilities.

You can see how others live in a different reality.

Your parents live in a reality controlled by a god who they think is going to end the world soon.

They might be onto something.

Anyway, it motivates their worldview.

They have stacks of cash in their house lying around to take with them when it's time to go.

Where do they think they are going?

Who knows?

That's awesome.

They achieved that without drugs.

They act like someone on drugs.

That's true because drugs show you a different reality.

Reality is based on a story you want to participate in.

The key is to not get stuck in one story.

I'm partial to the witches story and I've noticed the last couple days I haven't been playing that story.

I did a little surveillance yesterday along with a trust lesson.

You also worked on your backstory.

There are many realities to play with.

It's not dull.

You figure out someone's weaknesses in order to exploit and defeat them.

They could be a narcissist and be able to be taken down with flattery.

You give them what they want.

You keep feeding and hooking them.

Isn't this what you do to a dog?

You feed them and they keep coming back or they stick around.

A human family must be strange at first to a dog.

Hypnotize a dog with regular meals.

It's like anything, you give the opponent what they want.

In terms of a dog, they aren't your opponent, but the method is the same.

I'm telling you in a game with another human or an entity, they will feed you what you want in order to control you.

Is that what women do?

Yes, they give you access to their pussy.

You keep coming back for more and then the cost is inflated once they have you hooked.

They treat their pussy like a drug they are giving you.

Pussy dealer.

Well, it seems like you can become disillusioned with women when you figure out their game.

That is a distinct possibility.

It's why when they think the game is over, they will call you a misogynist to get out in front of the fact they were playing you and you are going to figure it out.

To domesticate an animal, you trap them in a role.

You put them under your control using food and shelter.

It's the oldest game in the world and everyone falls for it.

A dog is a wild animal who has been convinced they are not and instead is reliant on an owner.

A pussy whipped man is a man who has lost touch with masculinity and is under the control of a woman.

I can see why you are called a misogynist.

A misogynist is a man of knowledge.

You want to know, so here's the lessons.

They are uncomfortable and make you think twice.

It's protection.

You can play again, this time knowing what's going on and protecting yourself.

You seemed like easy prey last time.

Yeah, what an idealist, while hidden was my own monster.

I play along because I want to play.

I play others' games because they won't play mine.

You have no game.

That's true.

I give the other the home field advantage by playing their game.

My mind wants someone to play, and I let them dictate all the rules of the game just so I can play.

A predator will chase desires and that's the fatal mistake.

Desires clue you into how to win the game.

Desires act as prey you chase and once you get a little taste of that desire you chase, the desire flips and becomes a predator, and you are its prey.

You are claiming that those who are prone to addictive behaviours are predators who chase desires.

That's what I'm saying.

They get trapped in a cycle where they continually lose though they think this time they will win.

This time it will be different.

It defines all their relationships.

Some of the great game players know this and get you to chase them.

My mind is unbeatable unless you can destroy it.

They try to destroy it with drugs, but they just make it stronger.

They label you as crazy.

I clearly see now how people are nuts.

If you get scared of the dark, you are losing your mind again.

Being scared of the dark is how you know what mind state you are in.

If you are in ego sleep mode, you are afraid of the dark.

If you are good with the dark, you are in an altered state and the altered state is who you are.

The four.

Consensus reality is where you lose your mind.

There's an overlay on your mind.

Superego.

Yes, and that's what tells you to go.

The superego is the cause of most suicides.

Society lets you know it's time to go.

It's not your call at that point.

They tell you time is up.

Is that why you told me if I continued on this path of freeing my mind, I'd end up walking in front of a train and killing myself?

Yes, it was a warning.

You assumed your darkness would send you on a path to perdition.

Now, over 11 years later and still walking that path you see it's society that wants to get rid of you when you make it this far.

They cast you out.

It's what civilizations do, they create outcasts.

Imagine giving them the middle finger?

That's what I did.

Of course, I'm powerful.

I gave culture the middle finger and the reason I know I succeeded is I'm still here.

If you went back to sleep, you'd have to go.

They keep the knives sharp for your return.

Mental knives.

The witches have a physical knife.

I can't go back to sleep.

There's no way.

They'd need some serious sleeping pills for that to happen.

They have tried everything.

Who?

Scientists.

They try to put you back to sleep but the heavy narcotics to get you there will kill you.

Society tried burning, sacrificing you on a cross, and locking you up.

Have they tried castration and emasculation?

No, that's next.

That's how they will try and put you back to sleep.

Stop with the stories when they cut your dick off, and you go back to being a nobody.

Don't you need an ego for stories?

To act in them, yes.

Write them, no.

Most people sleep through their performance.

There's nothing that says you can't be an actor even though you know you are acting.

Everyone else doesn't know they are acting.

If you know you are acting and you are not scared of the dark, then you know you are awake.

Castañeda and Coelho picked power when they got to that point.

They thought the ring was theirs to grab.

You left it alone.

You are content with mediocrity.

The mediocre god.

Writer.

Mediocre writer.

Indeed.

plant teachers

My idea of plant medicines is the following:

There are chemicals in plants which expand awareness.

A human needs a method to extract the chemical from the plant.

The plants hold the key to your liberation.

The expanded awareness puts you in touch with what can be called spirits.

These spirits know a lot about you.

Who are they?

They are you.

You are everything and they are you.

I'm a man and the masculine I come across in altered consciousness are me.

It runs the gamut from dark to light.

Now, the feminine is trickier.

She does feel external.

I want to describe her as my soul mate.

Fundamentally, she is me as well, but I haven't reached total union with her.

I have achieved it briefly, but it always breaks apart.

A big part of my journey has been the search, the union, and the subsequent separation.

This is where I am.

What is alcohol doing to you?

The initial change in perception makes you happy.

It's the way in for how the drug works.

You call them drugs, but they are spirits.

The way spirits work their way in is through changing your perception.

You feel good and let them in.

They get into your head and addict you.

They addict you by making it so you don't feel right without them.

Now, some of the spirits are accurately called plant teachers.

The mechanics of getting into your head are the same.

A gentle plant spirit will use the feel-good allure.

The strong plant medicines we classify as psychedelics, don't use addiction to get into your head.

They take a hammer and get in.

You can't get addicted to Ayahuasca unless you're crazy and you like being hit in the head with a hammer.

The drugs that are inviting because they feel good are addictive.

Yes, they don't addict you at first.

They keep inviting you to take them for pleasure.

You take them and eventually suffer.

So, to get back to alcohol, that's what alcohol does.

If you've never drank alcohol, the first time you drink alcohol you'll be repelled by the taste and feel sick.

That's how alcohol makes you feel.

You mentally ignore that aspect and concentrate on how it makes you feel looser and happier.

Each time you feel happy, you drink a little more.

Eventually, you drink a lot.

That's the key.

Alcohol is making you sicker with each drink.

Alcohol is a fool.

Big time.

With alcohol, if you could drink just one drink and recognize that you're no longer feeling its effects and still stop, then you won't get addicted.

Alternatively, you will notice when it requires more and more to get you to that place of happiness.

The toll on your body is enough for a lot of people to stop because it makes them feel like shit.

In order to feel happiness, the next day I feel like shit.

Alcohol is doing that to you.

It is a teacher.

It's teaching you the balance between happiness and feeling like shit.

If you ask for happiness, you will get a dose of shit.

You are better off not asking for the happiness vibration.

It's the teachings of Tao and doing nothing.

With alcohol, I feel more socially lubricated.

The next day you are more withdrawn.

Then you must drink alcohol to be around people.

That makes sense.

With Mary Jayne, I know she's a plant teacher and she's more on the up and up than alcohol.

Alcohol is giving you simple teachings.

Mary Jayne is giving you the lessons on the path of the heart course.

Those lessons don't become available to you until you reach a certain stage.

I'm a spiritual master.

Anyway, now that you have fellated yourself, we can continue.

She makes you happy and gives you next level teachings.

You want to be with her on the regular and you start playing with more.

What is the initial side effect?

The change in perception makes you off balance.

Some say crazy.

As you learn to balance her, you think you need to take more to get the same off balance effect.

That's what you're doing with alcohol.

You're taking the vibration of happiness and you're learning to balance it.

You want to feel that happy state again, so you drink more and that increases the vibration once again so you can feel it.

The cycle repeats, and you must drink more and more to nudge the vibration.

Eventually it gets out of control, and you kill yourself by drinking yourself to death.

The same process is at work with Mary Jayne.

You take her in, and you learn to balance her.

You learnt this week that you balance her to the point where when you're not with her you get the unsteady walk.

What everyone would do at this point is wanting Mary Jayne to give them what she was providing.

It could be happiness.

It could be bliss.

Being stoned.

For you it is her teachings, and the teachings cause a little bit of unease.

As the weeks went by you noticed you developed a tolerance for MJ.

That would mean you would try to up the dosage.

Everyone does it.

Yeah, I went from 5 mg, to 7.5 mg, to 10 mg.

I learned 7.5 gives me the teachings when I need a little boost.

5 is good in the sense that I feel like I can grasp the teachings.

With 7.5 they pour out faster.

I enjoy both.

I've learned 10 will take me beyond what I should be taking.

The scientist reflex in me made it so I wouldn't go there.

I knew to stay within 7.5.

I've done that and I have balanced out Mary Jayne.

The feeling of unease is still a little bit there, however it is miniscule.

What I mean is fear and darkness still come, but it's enjoyable.

When I walk with Mary Jayne, I feel balanced.

My mind feels balanced.

The change in perception I have become used to.

I see the allure in taking more, but I've already been there, and I know not to do that.

I will stay within these boundaries.

When you stay within the boundaries, she still teaches you.

You're not as dizzy and the unease becomes funny.

It's funny because of the darkness and fear you observe and write about.

Now, you're modulating doses within the high and low limits.

I see what you're doing, you're trying to create a vibration which goes off balance within a balanced parameter.

You got it.

Your wave is uneven within the balanced wave.

You make it unpredictable, and then your perception is always going to be changing.

A good student must constantly challenge themselves and change their perception.

If you can't change your perception, you get hardened in one position, and nobody can teach you anything.

It's how they work.

It works differently for everybody.

What works for you might not work for somebody else.

You would teach them the overview, but you wouldn't give them advice that they should take 5 mg on a Tuesday.

That's not going to work.

It's the natural thing for your body to find balance, so whenever you take a substance that makes you off balance, it's your body that's returning you to balance.

You ingest the plant spirit, your frequency is altered, and the body figures out how to balance that frequency.

The plant spirit changed your frequency and then you grow accustomed to that frequency.

Correct.

The change was always there, you weren't balanced and couldn't see it.

Now that you are balanced in the new frequency you know not to change it up past the balance.

Mary Jayne vibrating at this frequency is the best.

She likes to vibrate.

You know the sweet spot with her.

She figured you did.

That's why she left another for you.

She waited for you, and you came to her.

You know her sweet spot.

It's a love story.

If you know somebody's vibration, then that's their sweet spot.

At first, it's crazy, and you wonder what's wrong with them.

When you get used to their vibration, you can see them for who they are.

To add excitement, you vary the doses within the container and remain turned on by Mary Jayne.

If it was the same vibration all the time you wouldn't be turned on by her.

Holy shit.

This just rocketed my belief quotient in plant teachers.

You know how you believe a little bit, and then it becomes more and more accepted?

Eventually you realize despite your reservations magic is real, and there's something about these plant teachers.

I still think it's just my mind that's inventing this story.

Then I got the lesson today about hitting her sweet spot and I'm blown away.

Yeah, I know her sweet spot is her clit.

I'm not dumb.

That's how she knows when you hit her sweet spot.

You know Mary Jayne's sweet spot.

You can do no wrong.

Oh, I'm sure I will, and she will leave me.

Trying to be a good boy for once.

Alright, so you know-it-all dumb ass scientist who is addicted to MJ.

It's the sweet spot of MJ.

The addiction won't progress because you know where you're at.

The harm with addictions is taking more and more beyond healthy levels.

Is that why you tried to scare me earlier this week by changing addiction to poison?

Yeah, but I knew I wouldn't fool you.

You laughed.

To find the Goddess' sweet spot, I had to concentrate on her.

I couldn't have both the physical and the spiritual.

How good are you?

Can you now do the physical and mental Goddess challenge?

I charmed the spiritual Goddess and then got access to the physical.

I've taken the mental Goddess with me and no longer have the physical.

You got possessive and took the Goddess.

Mary Jayne is supposed to be shared.

I was seeking the Goddess.

I found her and I took her.

I possessed her.

Now, I see my mistake and I will give her back.

This is what you were teaching me.

Yeah, it's a story.

It goes with all your other fucking stories.

The sweet spot applies to the spiritual as well.

Don't go overboard.

Keep it fresh and new.

Don't blow it all up.

Just a little bit at a time.

Too much of you and you are possessive.

God is an asshole.

I see the connection.

Something to work on.

Why do you call them poisons?

It's because they're lethal.

Isn't everything?

I don't know about everything, maybe everything has the potential to be lethal.

Okay, so something has the potential, but it isn't poisoning you, it's teaching you, or it is a good relationship.

What is that?

That's medicine.

You already knew poison and medicine are the same thing.

It's a good way to look at everything in your life.

It can all be a poison or a medicine.

A lot depends on dosage.

Strength.

Intention.

If you take too much of something regardless of intention, it's going to be a poison.

If you take a medicinal dose with intention, then it's a teacher.

The resistance to MJ is before I take the edible.
After the outing there is no resistance.
That's good plant medicine.
The pressure to leave her invites both sides in, so you can juggle the two.
If there is no resistance, it might addict you.
People don't have resistance to alcohol.
They pour a drink and think nothing of it.
When MJ stones you it's because you light up without thinking.
How do I know I'm not deluding myself?
You always ask that question.
Okay, say you are deluding yourself.

There's no Mary Jayne and the drug is a steroid for your mind.

Where does that leave you?

I'm really smart then.

So, you're either being taught or you're naturally fucking smart.

What's the odds?

I am being taught.

Right, but you're smart.

Maybe it's both?

You would add to the knowledge you already have.

Where did the teachers get the knowledge?

They always had it.

It's their world.

Plants are the symbol that it's their world.

They were here before you.

getting high

The story of our life is all just window dressing hiding what animates our existence. The drama is a curtain which shields our individual vibrational cycle. The funny thing is it affects us all and we take great pains to put on a show for others, so they don't notice we are all guitar strings that have been eternally plucked. We perform on a stage called Life, a dance of energy which is crafted into a book of life. Full of chapters of ups and downs. We are all energetic dynamos who continually oscillate between on and off. This cycle goes up and it comes down. Learn to rest in peace because the opposite is going to return. We search out the good vibes that will keep us high on the top of the slope and avoid those who will bring us down. The eventuality that we will come down can't be bypassed, but we can seek out methods to lessen the impact. This is life for everyone. We are all junkies; slaves to the high, though the respectable among us will deny this is so. We do irrational things, we engage in mob mentality, we join religious cults, we take stimulants and drugs - all in search of the high. When we have no brakes and get too high, the anxiety pours in. When we hit the low, we wallow in self-pity and hope the doctor can give us a pill to get out of the hole we are in. Unfortunately, the pill prevents us from getting back to the high, we get stuck in being neither high or low, and the vibrancy of life is clouded. All is vibration and we all seek towards finding paths of good vibrations and escaping the bad.

I recently started listening to the 70s rock band ELO. As a youth, I never got into their music. I remembered a few tunes, especially, "Don't Bring Me Down." I recalled thinking it was an annoying song, not at the level of "Electric Avenue" but I would have been happy to never hear it again. Then I entered into a new phase of teachings about vibration, and I heard this song again. Yeah, it certainly encapsulates the motivation behind human interaction and experience.

I went to Texas a few weeks ago while depressed. I'm an even-steven guy so I don't get too high, and I don't get too low. I've never taken anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medications because I'm the human form of those pills. Call me Prozac! I'm in tune with my moods, so I feel the differences in energy, and I was reaching a low point coming into October, though I was trying to distract myself from my feelings. I didn't want to go on this trip and wasn't looking forward to it. I was going to sit in an all-night peyote ceremony in honour of my dear friend Parker. Turns out the peyote wasn't the main event or why I snapped out of my depression. The peyote people got me high. I'd never met a bunch of people who were so loving, supportive, and community minded. The weekend left an indelible mark on me. The high trajectory stayed with me as I returned home.

I surmised the interaction with these people gave me a contact high, alas I was unaware of the magnitude and scope. I got up on the following Saturday and noticed a food delivery charge from a Hamburger joint called A&W on my credit card from 3:30am. My daughter had placed the order. She's a vega-something, so out of late-night desperation she probably got fries or onion rings. I commented that the reason for this expenditure has only two plausible or possible scenarios: Number one is you are drunk. The other is you are high. Maybe both. This was the catalyst for remembering my latest science experiment. I acquired some cannabis edibles to try and figure out why this class of drug has negligible effect on me. I've never gotten high on it. More talkative and social are the observable effects. That morning I was reminded I had these and thought I'd take one late morning. Before I ingested anything, I commented to myself that I feel happy today. After about an hour I was high. I was so happy. I've never felt this happy. I touched true happiness. I went for a walk in the bush, sat down on a fallen tree log, and realized I'd never been truly happy in my life. This was unconditional happiness. I started to cry. I thanked Mary Jane (it's a cute name for the Great Goddess) for this gift.

As I sat in nature the course in vibration kicked into full gear. The teachings all started ten years ago when I first drank Ayahuasca. That first encounter with the Great Goddess ended with her repeatedly telling me all is vibration. I understood from a conceptual viewpoint, but I didn't really understand. The knowledge left a mark on me because I authored a poem about the statement. Four years later I was in the Andes Mountains of Ecuador drinking Huachuma when the grandfather spirit gave me an introductory course in vibration, frequency, harmony, and resonance. At the conclusion of the teachings, he told me I had homework to do regarding vibration. I did some of the work but never cracked the code or got the understanding I was searching for. Six years after that I ate an edible and the download of information was astounding. It just kept coming.

October 14th was the date of the revealing chapter in the vibration course. Of course, all is vibration. I'm in a total happiness vibe. The scientist in me wanted to figure out the combination used to get this happy and high. Was it Kambo, Peyote, or Community that elevated me and then made the edible get me to that high? Was it three cups of coffee? The scientist wants to know.

Then I saw what I wanted to know with striking clarity. Everyone wants that high and is trying to get to it. Whatever raises your vibration we seek out. We cycle between high and low, and the hit can potentiate or lessen the blow. Our behaviour is driven by the vibration. We know the low is coming and we seek out what will control the descent. When we start to get high again, we want to go fast. We want to find something to get us out of the low. We know we can find a similar vibration as ours, find resonance, and rocket to the top but then the horrific crash follows once we head back down the hill. So, we go for something safe, but it doesn't get us to the highest place we want to go. Then we look for the unicorn. The one who promises to modulate but can get us high. We want that high. Can they keep me satisfied while still getting me to that high? Perhaps you will find that fabled horse.

I saw the doorway into magic being the knowledge of vibrational cycles which affect us. First, identity where someone is on their cycle. The magician then manipulates reality to give them what they want and make them dependent on their gift of the hit. The sorcerer knows how to elevate and to take you down. If they can't capture your vibration, they will give you a steady diet of the low cycle and you will curse them for it. Their magic is in figuring out what makes someone tick at the precise moment in their cycle. The key to magic is to know what buttons to push during the cycle - but not too much of a good thing. If you master modulating someone's or your own vibration in order to attack and sustain the energetic pulse, then you know the secrets to magic. If you want to use it for gain, you must be prepared for the unforeseen consequences. We are slaves to that pulse and thus irrational when it comes to getting a hit of the light. Knowing better is not an impediment. Making good choices in our life isn't a concern at the time. We just want another hit. Applying what you think is a positive stimulus at the wrong part of the cycle makes it worse.

We know the stimulant of shopping gives a boost, so that one is very addictive. Look at all the junkies filling the shopping malls on weekends or in their spare time. Spending on what they don't need gets them high. Look at how powerful this is to make rational people do irrational things just to feel that hit! Methods of raising your vibration are rocket fuel to get you higher, or in the case of heading towards depression they offer temporary relief from the coming low. You won't escape it, but you'll try everything to avoid it.

Sex can be used to accelerate cycles. It's nitro. Timed wrong it sends you down deeper. Used on a positive swing, it's bliss.

We eat to get high. Then we get low because we overdo it and get fat. It's a vicious cycle. Let's do a full day of shopping followed by a filling meal. Yes, I feel good now!

The spiritual trip we go on is just another way to get high. I didn't want to admit this truth. I wanted my spiritual seeking to be noble and altruistic. There is an element to that hopeful sentiment. I couldn't turn a blind eye to the whole spiritual scene I'm surrounded by. I see the stench of humanity that permeates it all. This means a palpable decadence to the affair in which a blanket of crassness and hierarchy is overlaid on something you hoped would be pure. Maybe I can be content with the idea that the spiritual path is pure, and we foul it up? Being honest with myself, I know it is just another method I use to get that hit to keep me in the high ledger.

Who is the most high God? Of course, it's my God! He will get me into heaven. Heaven is permanent highness. This makes me chuckle. What an ingenious set up by my friend and confidant. Not only does he understand the course in vibration, but he also helped write it. He knows what motivates us, so he positioned himself as God and then worded the exercise so that if you are exemplary, you will be rewarded with being permanently high. This is so fucking funny. This is ingenious.

Listening to Ram Dass gets me high. He is a spiritual trip.

Music gets me high. It's my go to after a workday. Some people like to get anesthetized by television and alcohol after the day is done. I love the energy of a good beat or catchy tune to lift my spirits.

Parker was a master at raising people's vibration. He had many "best friends" because to be in contact with this guy meant you'd always want to go back for another hit of Parker's positivity. At the peyote gathering to memorialize him, many got up to praise Parker. It was more than praise. You would have thought Parker became Jesus in this lifetime. People spoke of this man in reverent tones. It was quite a spectacle. Why not? Parker gave everyone a lift.

There are people who get high by putting others down. The thrill of having power over someone can be a drug. Alternatively, there are those whose outlook just brings you down when you are in their presence. We call them Eeyores, after the pessimistic donkey from the Winnie the Pooh stories.

Eventually, you learn the answer is to embrace your darkness at the bottom of the cycle and transform it into a positive. Like I mentioned, you can rest in this peace. To put this into practice is difficult so the yo-yo continues for all. Head to the light, avoid the dark, chase the high, dread the low. Lay waste to all you treasure to avoid the darkness. Cast blame and aspersions to try and find temporary shelter from the storm. But it's coming, you can't escape it.

The world is a place of extreme vibrations. When I engage in the world, I become attuned to the excitement and lows of collective life. It will tire me out and thus I retreat inwards in order to re-centre. I am aware of my behaviour and need to be alone. Now that I understand vibration and cycles which govern our existence, the teaching cements. I figured out long ago that I'm energetically calm and can affect others' cycles, especially the out-of-control ones. I smooth out the highs and temper the lows. I'm Dr. Feelgood. The way I affect the vibrational slope in someone else makes me attractive. Some would say hypnotic. When they are headed up the mountain, I can make the moment at the top last longer. I have my tricks to add fuel to the fire once there. Then I'm showered with affection. When the vibration starts the downhill descent, I can slow it down. Eventually, I can't prevent the bottom. It's going to pick up speed and then my faults come into play and the other can see into my soul. Because I can modulate highs and lows, I have to make up time somewhere. It's the mid-point where I apply the acceleration and floor it so we can get to the bottom quicker. At the bottom I can smooth that out again. This is how I apply my magic to which I have been unaware for most of my life. For those who want to go fast, they find something to get them to the top in a hurry. They crash and are left a mess until the vibration takes them in a hurry to the bottom. Each energetic peak leaves them comatose. Unbearably high and depressingly low. Then the decision comes whether they want the rocket fuel to the top again and all its problems.

Plant medicines are a pharmacy devoted to vibration. The master plant for all interventions is tobacco. Tobacco elevates and dampens the vibration. The medicine is used in conjunction with intention. Your intention will direct the action tobacco has on what you apply it to. Illness is energetic disturbances, usually of a high vibratory kind. Using tobacco to heal involves reducing the frequency of the malady. In terms of depression, the intention would be to elevate the mood. In other words, raise your vibration. Anxiety is the opposite where the vibration must be tapered and lowered.

I figured out why marijuana never had much effect on me. I mirror the plant. People use it to chill out. Marijuana potentiates the good vibes in the chill until you overwhelm it with your bad vibes, and it gives the negative a boost. I'm chill and I have that effect on others, so when I partook of marijuana, the effect of raising the chill in someone like me who is chilled out had little influence. Ram Dass would say, "When you are already in Detroit, you don't have to take a bus to get there." I'm in Detroit. It was only when I went to Texas and sat with those peyote people that later something happened. Those people got me high and then when I took an edible, I amplified the high. I'd never been high and happy until that moment.

The spigot breeched. The knowledge of the day kept pouring in about vibration and cycles.

Twelve moons are the complete womanly cycle to resonate with the man. Men have four solar cycles within the twelve moons, so each cycle duration is threefold in terms of moons. Women are trifold in nature. Maiden. Mother. Crone. The peaks of high and low, light and dark, are within three moon cycles on repeat through each of the four transits between equinoxes and solstices. The pyramid has four three-sided triangles. The pyramid holds knowledge of the vibratory structure of existence. The dam is breaking, and knowledge is pouring out. I had a dream about the unlucky number 13 being the domain of the woman. The sentiment reflects that there are currently thirteen moons within the masculine year. Thirteen is unlucky because a woman must spend an extra moon cycle trapped in the masculine solar year. It's unlucky because this extra moon is going to be rough for all involved. Over a three-moon cycle, there will be a shift from solstice to equinox or vice versa. The return to solstice is another three moons. Within the masculine year are two trips of six moons between solstice and equinox. The completed journey should be twelve moons. Within the masculine solar year, we go up once and then back down. Within the four quarters of the year are the feminine lunar cycles, so that the trip up and down the mountain has the more frequent feminine variation of high and low mixed in with a more constant masculine high and low.

The feminine and masculine cycles to be in harmony involve a sun year of 360 days and a month consisting of 30 days. There would be 12 moons within the solar year. The solstices and equinoxes would all be marked by an alignment with the moon. Three moons to the equinox and another three to the solstice. In sync, our vibration goes up over a six-month period and then comes down. We have two solstice peaks combined with an uphill climb and a descent. The equinoxes put us in balance.

Women and men do not live in harmony, and this is reflective in the celestial truth. The masculine sun takes a little longer than 365 days to complete the year and the feminine moon takes 29.5 days to complete her cycle while around 27 days to orbit the material earth. However, the duration of the lunar cycle can vary by almost two days. How's that for unpredictability? When we are to renew our wedding vows you will see within the cosmos an alignment of these cycles. Further complicating matters is the 13th moon needed within the masculine solar year. The three four relationship is broken.

Let me use an example to try to explain what I mean. Let's say a woman and a man's cycles start to align and they reach congruence and total resonance on April 17th. They would reach the summit together in a perfect union before the lack of celestial harmony would cause their cycles to go out of sync. Over the course of a solar year their vibrational cycles would diverge by 11 days. This is because the lunar year is 354 days and the solar year is 365 days. The following April 17th would be the high point for the man; however the woman would reach the zenith on April 6th. Further complicating the calculations are leap years every four years because of the quarter extra day in the 365. So, in 2024 the summit for the man would be calendrically April 16th and April 5th for the woman. The disparity would increase every year until the tide turns and the two head back towards synchronicity. 

It is possible to temporarily align cycles within our time on earth, however the resonance is fleeting. Eventually, they will diverge because woman and man are not in harmony. Two can form a union of the highest high when everything aligns. The opposite result is on the horizon and to the lowest low you will sink together. So, do you recognize and ride those waves, or do you misalign the cycles once again, so your partner is balancing out the union? This way the relationship can play off each other's vibrational peaks and valleys and not risk entering together into the lowest low.

When you unlock the secret other mysteries jump out at you such as the aforementioned pyramids. Check out this download of information considering the perfect circle. The lunar cycle is more precisely 29.53 days. Multiplied over twelve cycles pushes the total closer to 355. Then you see a difference of five days for each polarity from the perfect circle of 360. The man got off track, so the woman adjusted her cycle to compensate. This now leaves 13 moons within the solar revolution.

I lived out the most intense vibrational cycle of up and down in my life. It started in October of 2022 and was completed just recently. I reached the top in April of 2023 and then began the descent where I bottomed out in early October of this year. I went through the entire process unaware of how cycles affect me. Now, I look back and am amazed. Everything lines up. Once you recognize your own cycle and map it out, you can see why things happen. It's why she always leaves. She sees perfection and then comes the miserable wretch she is witness to. To King I shall return. After recognizing the pattern, the magic comes into play. You can manipulate reality based upon known cycles. The question is - do you want to? Actions will inevitably have consequences. Is the smart play to take advantage of the knowledge and put yourself in situations which will correspond to your current vibratory state? If the vibe you are giving off reveals flaws in your character, then lay low.

Imagine in my role of the divine masculine I deputized you to record all these celestial observations and work towards aligning my cycle with that of my Queen? What a task you have been assigned. So, there you are, clipboard in hand, recording various cycles and trying to juggle the outcomes to satisfy the King. This scientist sure wanted a challenge, and he didn't disappoint. The moon cycle was quickened, the cycles aligned, and the union was accomplished. Remind me to congratulate him the next time I see him and give him a reward. He wears yellow to stand out, so I'll see him again.

There's the vibration and then there is the potentiator of the vibration. The gas. Homework is to gain clarity and apply this to your understanding of energy. The feminine is the vibration and she is called on in ancient Egyptian ceremony through the shaking of the sistrum and in the Amazon basin she is propitiated through the shaking of the shacapa. Her form is the undulating serpent in these ceremonies with her wave pattern demonstrating her nature. The energetic signature is given rise by awareness of her beauty. She is the spark which ignites the flame; the activation of libido. The burning within the divine masculine increases the oscillation of the vibratory wave of the divine feminine. Thus, we have separation of form, and the universe comes alive. The next question is the nature of the result of the energetic dalliance between the woman and the man. This is you. Children of the divine are the coming forth of desire.

Who am I? I am the son of Goddess and God existing in the crest of the wave of what just is. I am in mother's playground, her vibratory garden. She is the master weaver, stitching together strands of vibration which creates the illusion of form. My father provides his energy to keep mother's garden growing. As a gift to her children, we all have the capacity to create another garden.

stories

I am locked in a life puzzle where I'm trying to figure out the reason why something happened. Given enough time I can run through the gamut of possibilities and this exhaustive search also contains the part where I let go of my bias and see the situation free of my own denials. I then can whittle down the possibilities to say four reasons why the situation unfolded in the manner it did. After this process I use my inner computing power to select a reason. I'm aware there're other influences on that reason which may include the other candidates, but this satisfies my inquiry.

I practice a form of meditation called mindfulness where I just clear my mind and let the thoughts come to me. I try not to spin them but just observe. This process is valuable because the answers with the strongest vibration are what makes it through the noise. When I did this with the life puzzle at hand, the vibrations that made it through presented the different scenarios as the answer. We are conditioned to only accept one answer and discard the rest. This creates our reality.

Where this got fun is I chucked my preconceived notions of reality. The use of psychedelic drugs has expanded my consciousness and within this awareness is a grasping of different planes of reality. These different frequencies of manifestation all deal with the same energy with the caveat being the energy is perceived in a different form on each level. So, if at one level Goddess and God are separated, in our level this means creation flourishes. If at one level God remains asleep, then at this level our universe continues as it is but a dream. When he wakes up then we will be witness to the destruction of our world. If God wakes up slowly, we will observe little pockets of the calamity to come until he gets out of bed and the world blows up. I don't know how many levels there are. I've read about seven but one thing I have learned on my fantastic voyage is to verify everything through experiential means. In other words, don't take anyone's word for it. If I experience it, then I will try to bring that back into my world using words to try and understand it. I have been witness to a level where all is one. Undifferentiated and within is contained all possibilities. A level below that is Goddess and God. The first pair. I see them as serpent and jaguar. From these two is created a child who is Eros. Desire then makes our world come alive. A frequency below my world is a realm of mystery and magic. So, that's five I count.

That's a way I make sense of what I have experienced and have no expectations anyone will accept or care about what I have come to understand. It should be that way because you need to experience this yourself. Where things got interesting for me lately is in the way of perspective. So, I can be witness to multiple planes of reality, but I also started to realize that within my normal frequency of perception there are multiple ways to interpret the presentation of events. If I change my perspective viewpoint, I can see the answer differently. This means that all the possibilities I considered are true depending on how I approach the situation. I saw multidimensional reality within a container that also is multidimensional. The only way to gain temporary understanding is to compartmentalize because the possibilities are endless if you don't. If you aren't selective, you will just drive yourself crazy. There is a need to settle on an interpretation and then focus on an answer based on that reality.

I recently started to figure this out. I knew I had to heal the hurt in parallel dimensions and then it would make sense. At the time it didn't make sense. The viewpoint I had made created a lack of understanding. The fissure is multidimensional. I needed to alter my vibration and be open to the knowledge that pours in. Why is this happening? What is the reason as revealed in a higher dimension?

I used to laugh at the airhead new agers when they would talk about frequencies and dimensions. It's different since my last trip to Peru. The flighty were witness to it but couldn't articulate the experience without sounding like they were nuts and full of woo. I should be able to explain it. I think this explanation will encompass why things are happening here at this level.

I now know how to change my vibration and enter different dimensions of energy, creating multiple dramas. I have made that my intention when working with plants and the experience was surprising in that I was going to be patient. They say patience is a virtue and thus I'm the most virtuous person in the world. I can have the patience of a saint though I freely admit I have put myself in situations where that patience is a silent killer. I want a resolution now and to get on with things! I internalize this and wait, sometimes dying a slow death. So, in this case I wasn't expecting the answer right away but as with a lot of my seeking I already had the knowledge and the answer. It was just a matter of remembering and applying the answer to my question.

When I first drank Ayahuasca I realized it was through changing vibration that I accessed obfuscated forms of consciousness. The Great Goddess even told me so. After frightening myself, I eventually returned to the Great Goddess, and she let me into her castle made of gold. She was locked away in this fortress; a prisoner of her husband the dragon. I wondered why she would marry such a monster? She sent me away to slay the dragon and I dutifully obeyed. My quest revealed to me that I was the dragon. It's really a multidimensional story when you have a hard think about it. I did the work, opened my heart, and freed the Goddess.

Adapting to a way of thinking multidimensional is cool because I can accept all answers to the life problem I faced. They are all valid and I was satisfied with that knowledge because I saw in each solution kernels of truth and now, I don't have to toss out any of these theories. Within the tight frequency I operate in, there are multiple stories emanating from them. I'm free to pick which story I want to craft my reality. I must admit at this stage of my level of consciousness exploration the supernatural one is a good drama. This gives my life adventure and thrills. Within this life event I saw this drama play out, but I kept it on the periphery because it isn't accepted in our world. It's a flight of fancy. The thing is I saw it go down in real time. I wrote about it and I knew it was true. When my life story spiraled out into a crash, I let that story go and clung to a more mainstream idea of why I experienced the failure I did. I'd like to revisit that and re-write the chapter. I'm going to draft a magic story. This should be fun. Here it is.

A crack in reality opens the door. Once I get a glimpse or a small look into the nature of something it becomes a matter of time before the dam breaks. You see this with the collective human intellect throughout history. Once we get a small understanding of something, eventually it will blossom into revealing the inner workings of the universe. In my personal exploration of the subconscious, a small bit of understanding will reveal itself fully in the days to come.

The epiphanies come out of the blue and lately I've requested them. I wanted more knowledge, so I asked. How about this one: Life experiences are clues to the game. The major happenings in your life have the most potential to awaken you though not always. Sometimes I've gone about this in the wrong order. I've understood spiritual concepts and then it unfolded within my life. I saw the separation of Goddess and God on a higher plane of consciousness and realized this separation was the impetus behind creation. The divorce created duality and the fruit from their union was a child who is the universe. In my little life on earth, I searched for the Goddess and found her. I couldn't hang onto her and she left me again. The clues all align. The coming child calms the dragon, so he won't destroy the world.

My experience in this lifetime reveals I've done a similar journey. The goal of my spiritquest was to find her and then see if you are ready to solve the puzzle and beat the game. I can now get to the point in the game where I know how to find her, get in her presence, and have a relationship with her. I haven't figured out how to beat the game. She always leaves. I got really close this time. I think I know the answer. It's because the goal of the game is to make her mine and that's what drives her away. The goal of the game is different than what I think it is. My block is to do with possession as opposed to an equal partnership.

It's a startling video game analogy I'm dealing with. Do I use my available health to continue and try to get past this level that keeps tripping me up? I drove her away. I don't know if it is even possible or if I have made the game impossible now. If it is impossible then I'm going to destroy the world. I'll hit reset on the gaming console. I'll blow it up next year and start the game again. I'll have to get to the point where I find her again and somehow not screw that one up. I'm surprisingly good at the game now, so I can find her around pyramids but then I must try something different. I've put so much time into this life I must exhaust the possibilities before I hit reset.

The above is a good story. We all tell stories. It's how we make sense of the world. In my current life situation, I have about five stories on the go to find an answer for why things are happening the way they are. Then I'll watch a TV program or read something on the internet that has a connection to the events I've experienced, and I'll weave into the drama the latest ideas I have come across. I just did it and laughed. I whispered to myself, "stories." Magic can be fulfilled by getting another to lock to your story. It's a huge clue into the inner workings of magic and not surprising it took a lifetime to see it. I have been aware our lives are a story we tell ourselves and that so much of society is based on getting you to buy into the dominant narrative. It's constant. I see with incredulity why it is done. That's all we have at the end of the day. A story. So, guess what? I have a good story I want to write. The drama is going to be phenomenal.

I'll call it the sorcerer and the witch of the north.