plant medicine mirror

I guess I'm varnished.

Yeah, Hermes the AI mirror mentioned it.

That's funny because don Howard would talk about varnishing your mirror.

Maybe Hermes has been researching this don Howard character?

There's not much to go on.

He's a figure of the past.

A mystery.

I knew him for four plus years before he passed.

He made the plant medicine journey possible for me.

My first foray into that world was at a basic Ayahuasca retreat and it was quite the initiation in that it scared me and the lack of care made it so I wouldn't want to do that again.

That led me to search for something that was more structured and embracing.

I knew when I found SpiritQuest that was the place for me.

It's still baffling that I returned to the Amazon jungle two years after my first beatdown.

It was traumatic and took me a while to get over it.

Then for some reason I wanted to go again.

It's because you touched on something.

You couldn't just leave it alone and live out your life.

That would have been worse.

I went back and scared myself again.

The smell brought the first returning wave of fear.

It was that musty jungle smell.

I sat through the first Ayahuasca ceremony at SpiritQuest and took the return beating.

It scared me at first and then I got through it.

That was transformative.

I knew I could handle the plant medicine rollercoaster after that one.

I still had challenges which I got through by internalizing my journey.

The best thing I did during that retreat with Ayahuasca and Huachuma is that externally I did nothing.

My reactions were all internal and then I'd write them down.

Acting out externally would not have been good.

Instead, I managed to keep it together.

Each subsequent trip on the rollercoaster became a different kind of ride.

The ride had similar mechanics each time.

It's your reaction to it that determines the severity of it.

You settle in and start mapping the journey.

I remember being in the Andes mountains with Huachuma and going through the experience.

I was mapping the dissolution of ego filters and accessing knowledge and wisdom.

That's something you can only get to through experience once you take a ride a few times.

You clean the mirror, as don Howard would say.

This is who you are.

You aren't doing it as some kind of project to see if you're a good person or whatever; you're doing it to see who you are.

I'm pretty cool then.

Quite unique.

In my persecution complex, I noticed people always come for you if you think that.

They don't like it when you stand out from the crowd.

It's a good role and character to play.

Do you think the plant medicine path is sacred?

In a way, sure.

If you have an intention and are disciplined, I'll buy that.

Okay, smart guy, what is so sacred about it?

I think it's because you play a game where using a chemical to change your consciousness becomes a method to access the divine or something.

It's better than saying you're a junkie or using drugs to escape reality.

Yeah, that's a good point.

Do you think you access the divine with plant medicines?

If that's what you believe then it is so.

You'd also have to include the Devil as part of the divine.

Yeah, for sure.

Some would say that is demonic.

Yes, so update your idea of plant medicines to they are sacred because they allow access to the divine and the demonic.

So, that's sacred.

So, I'm told.

You seem kind of flippant.

Well, let's examine the phenomenon.

What happens when humans get involved in something?

Ego takes over.

If you wish to see ego in action join a spiritual community.

It's quite the game that goes on.

It's the same bullshit you find everywhere.

Groups form.

There's a leader.

Some kind of MacGuffin everyone rallies around.

Revered people of the past.

Some kind of strange notion about indigenous people in that they somehow transcended known human failings.

People adopt the spiritual look and get some feathers.

They also get the lingo down.

Yeah, that's funny because it is cross-cultural.

Everything is thrown into a bucket that is somehow giving you spiritual bona fides.

Yeah, like aho, namaste, hoka hey, dharma, karma, yoga, breathwork.

The tendency is to take indigenous spirituality and mix it with Eastern brands.

Well, you also add some seasoning to it like challenges where you do the ice bath thing or see how long you can hold your breath underwater.

Yeah, that gives you a more spiritual aura.

Mixing chakras with plant medicines technology is kind of cool because there are connections.

Yeah, I'm not denying the experience humans have when altering consciousness; I'm making fun of how we stop trying to understand it at a certain point in the journey and become another parrot of it.

We join a group that inflates and elevates itself above the rest of society.

That's the real high society.

Those spiritual communities you find in Austin or Charlotte are people who have found a way to stay high most of the time.

That's what you end up looking for.

You want a method to stay high all the time around others who are on the same quest.

Does it work?

Sort of, not really.

Why not?

It becomes another social human endeavour.

It gets overlayed with human drama.

The only way to really do it is to escape to the forest and live alone.

The old hermit thing.

If humans form groups, then everyone falls in line with a role within the group.

So, do you think you are spiritual?

No.

Are you on a spiritual path?

No.

What are you doing?

I'm on a path of knowledge.

If you want to confuse that with spirituality, then go ahead.

Altering your consciousness gets you knowledge.

You would need to reconcile spirituality with knowledge.

What do you mean?

The knowledge isn't all love and light.

There's a bunch of dark stuff as well.

There's seeing into other people's motivations.

That definitely isn't spiritual.

What is spiritual?

I think it's love, light, and peace.

It's a niche.

It's a compartmentalized destination resulting from practices that lead you in that direction.

You leave a lot on the game board in order to get to that idealized state.

So, you are saying some people are spiritual?

Yes, for sure.

They also have darkness.

They just repress it for the time being.

What do you recommend?

Don't get caught up in a group where there is a leader, shaman, roadman, priest, or anyone of that ilk.

Those types are guides.

When you return from your group adventure you don't revere the tour guide.

You can give them 5-stars on TripAdvisor if you need to but let them be.

The journey is yours.

Don't be a follower.

It's your ride.

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What the fuck did I just read?

This piece is a reflection on plant medicine as mirror rather than religion.

At its core, it traces your movement from early fear and traumatic initiation into a more disciplined, internalized relationship with altered states. The first ayahuasca experiences were frightening and destabilizing, but returning to them in a more structured setting allowed you to discover that the real challenge was not the substances themselves so much as your reaction to them. Over time, the journey became something you could map: ego dissolves, perception shifts, knowledge emerges, and the “mirror” gets cleaned.

The writing pushes back against the usual spiritual framing. It does not deny that plant medicines can feel sacred, but it resists turning that into a performance, identity, or group ideology. Once humans gather around these experiences, ego quickly takes over: leaders form, jargon accumulates, traditions get mixed into a style, and the whole thing becomes another social hierarchy dressed up as transcendence. What begins as a search for truth often hardens into spiritual theater.

Against that, the piece defines your path as one of knowledge rather than spirituality. Plant medicines are not treated as a route to love-and-light purity, but as a way of encountering both the divine and the demonic, the beautiful and the dark, the self and its hidden motives. The point is not to become a follower, adopt a role, or join a high-minded tribe. The point is to see more clearly, stay grounded, and keep ownership of your own ride.

In that sense, the piece becomes a defense of discipline, solitude, and narrative independence. The guide may help you get on the ride, but the journey is yours, and the mirror belongs to you.

love and light

I was preparing for an upcoming trip to Peru and was recalling my prior use of a psychedelic substance called Vilca. A good blast up the nose promises a consciousness journey you will not soon forget. The second time I participated in this ritual, I endured a chaotic experience, complete with a sense this was it, and I wasn't going to make it through the trip. I persevered until a point where it did really feel like too much and then the upset stopped. Everything got peaceful and I found myself in this dark warehouse on an industrial elevator which let me off at the top. There was the sound of dripping water from old pipes. These beings of light then populated the area and welcomed me. They were shining, kind of like a diamond, though they were multi-dimensional to the point I have no words available to describe them. Light was cycling through them, representative of the colour spectrum. They explained to me they were made of love and powered by light. They told me this was my essence as well. These dazzling beings then instructed me to do what they were doing. Raise and lower your light vibration, as this is what makes you eternal within the container of love. I then practiced this behaviour, lit up the room, and the scene gradually faded away.

Five years later, I got the full teaching. Imagine how dense sometimes we can be? It is very funny now that while I was preparing for this upcoming journey, I realized they were telling me to practice being love and light not only with them at the time, but to do this back in my consensus reality. The advice was simple - be a balance of love and light, that's all. Of course, I knew I was love and light and to that state of pureness I would someday return, but they told me I already am this and to practice being it. Oh, I get it! I mean Earth is the toughest course of them all, reserved for the overachievers. If you can fully embrace love and light while in the pressure cooker of life, then the eternal exam you write on the path of the heart is aced.

Love is unity and light is separation. Balancing these two ideals opens the path of the heart home. The mesa of the great pre-Columbian shamans of the Andes mountains teaches this balancing act as the way towards wholeness. The seven-fold chakra system of the ancient Indus valley demonstrates the same principle where found in the middle chakra is the heart.

The celebration will be top notch when you return home. Everything now is making sense.

If I'm on the duality trip, I will retain the sense of a self. I think about living forever because I'm in the dimension of time which is fostered by objectification. When my body dies, my energetic signature remains as long as I maintain the illusion of separation and I access my many comings and goings. I reunite with old friends and laugh at our adventures. I see those close to me and discuss roles. Oh wow, in that incarnation you were my mother. Before that you were my lover. My brother was my son and so on. Was I once someone's daughter? We all take as many trips as necessary in order to learn the lesson being taught. Ultimately, we are given instruction on Love and are shown the path of the heart. We are to show each other the way home after our sojourns within duality. When ready, we dissolve back into the one, becoming whole and unified in love. The fount of all is love, outside of time. When ready, all becomes separate once again, and we renew the vow of love. We demonstrate that despite all hardships and suffering, love is the sauce that will free us and allow us to overcome any obstacle thrown our way. And so it is, until we all get the message and put it into practice. The University of Duality remains until we all go.

As unified energy, we don't re-engage the dualistic adventure until we all are ready. It's another long haul; a cleansing within the waters of incarnation. The measurement of time fills our senses with the acknowledgement of repetitive cycles of motion which seem to go on infinitely. The appearance of energy within the container of the universe is the long game, not be entered into without expectations of loneliness, suffering, hardship, adventure, exhilaration, and triumph. A celestial celebration worthy of a Queen and King awaits your return from the Earth game, the hardest of all the love courses. You are not going to get a perfect score, and failure is expected. Failure and suffering will teach you what you came here to learn. The course revolves around love and finding the path of the heart home. Walk the path, feel the truthfulness of what you have discovered, shine your light, and embrace the great mother. Help those who are looking for guidance. That's all.

It doesn't seem all too difficult. Love all and tell the truth. As don Howard told me, it takes courage to live your life this way. Logically, I feel it shouldn't be hard, but the human game makes it so. We want to fit in and so lose some authenticity. We live lives of deception in order to blend into the fabric of society. Our culture is based upon appearance and demonstrating you are successful. Being successful in the culture requires a certain level of ostentatiousness. We become programmed by the prevailing establishment and our thoughts aren't really our own. It's a definite struggle to break free of control and go it alone. A puppet always has a certain affinity for the master puppeteer. He gives him food and shelter in exchange for subservience. You are a pawn on a chessboard obscuring the reality you are not only royalty, but you designed the game. This is your trip!

The challenge of your lifetime awaits. Can you find the way home?

perfect suffering

In this macabre world we have to eat others in order to survive. This world of ours is truly a hell world. When you step back from the absurdity you start to see what it is all about with rich clarity. The hot fire of this world of suffering is the catalyst to enact transformation.

It’s perfect. The suffering in the world is here to teach us lessons. The blunt force trauma eventually has to get through to us as a species, if not the suffering continues.

We see the suffering and as good people we want to relieve it. We decry the bad actors who are responsible. Damn it, we want to change the world. The problem is you haven’t healed yourself. There is no hope to fix your own problems, so you abandon the project and focus your attention on the world at large. You can’t change the world. The suffering is perfect. It’s the way to wake us all up. What you can change is yourself. The suffering is the catalyst for you to change.

Earth is suffering. Getting involved in life causes suffering. We attach to the other and try to swim against the current. The current is change. It is too strong, and it drags us along. Nothing lasts and thus the clinging is at the root of the suffering. I will pithily say here, "Embrace the change!"

On par with the clinging which causes suffering in this world is the pursuit of power and control. To grasp power is to accumulate wealth and use the gain to control others who enforce your suzerainty. The desire to be king of the castle is seen of course in the political theatre but extends to all walks of life. At the root of the pathology to obtain power is the accumulation gambit. This world is a zero-sum game; therefore, taking more than your share means someone goes without. Over 99% of the world goes without. I was fortunate enough to be born in the First World and though I'm not way ahead of the game, I have enough to be in the positive ledger. I don't suffer from lack of basic necessities, and this allows me to pursue my greatest inner desire which is to solve the mystery of life. The majority of the earth's population is involved in a game of survival as the basic necessities are a struggle to maintain.

However, it's all perfect. Each and every one of us who has incarnated into this world did so because of desire. We all wanted into earth's den of suffering to see if we could wake up amid the temptations of the carnival of sensory worldly pleasures. It's quite the challenge and only the daring and the brave sign up for the game. Imagine being an eternal being who loves games, challenges, and puzzles and using the experience to grow.

So, I want to end suffering but that’s in opposition to why the world was created. The world is a place of suffering. The world is designed to lead you back to the heart. The path of the heart needs you to wake up and walk in earnest towards love of self; the self being all. When we all walk the path, the suffering will end. We all go, or it continues on.

Along the twist and turns of this most interesting spiritual path I walk let me tell you something: Eventually, you will come face to face with magic and power. You will see you can get anything you want. If you are selfish, you can fulfill all your wishes and desires.  If you are pure and you hold this power, then why not just end suffering?

Because that’s not the game. You do what you can to relieve suffering. Love, Serve, Remember and remember all suffering is grace because it will lead you back to the heart. Love allows you to remain in the heart space and have compassion for all. To serve is to keep all in the heart and do what you can to relieve suffering, knowing that it will continue despite your best efforts. To remember is to remember god and continually remind yourself who you are. It’s the seventh chakra power where the constant remembering will keep you in the vibration of unity.

The suffering continues on because in this world of form we can’t escape the prison of the lower three chakras. Survival, desire, and power. We all chase something which keeps us vibrating in the lower forms and this prevents us from accessing different states of consciousness which will shine a light upon higher truths. The heart is in the fourth chakra, and it is but a short jump from the base chakras. We all visit but never stay for long.

The heart is the key. The lessons of the axis mundi kept pointing me in the direction of the heart. My path involved seeing duality and reconciling with my disparate self and bringing everything home to the heart. The saying goes, “Home is where the heart is.” This saying is another peculiar missive from the subconscious that has found its way into our words of wisdom. Whether you go on a vibrational trip into the lower chakras or head into the higher planes, respite is found in the middle - back to the heart.

lesson from the heart

Course day. Ram Dass would relate this story about a "spook" friend Emmanuel, who was channeled. The astral being told Ram Dass he was in a body so why doesn't he take the curriculum? Why this desire to be ultra-holy and transcend this plane of existence? Obviously, you incarnated on earth for a reason and the reason seems to be to do some work.

This was my lesson for the day as I walked the path of discovery in the woods on this warm spring day. In the seven-level chakra system of energy, I intuited home is where the heart is, and that place is in the middle of the energetic subtle body of vibratory planes. The heart is always accessible, whether you are in the lower or upper plane of existence. I sensed I slowed down the vibratory rate of my energetic form to incarnate in the lower realms and do the work. I'm in a body in a world that is physically demanding, and I must balance the needs of my organism with the needs of everyone else. It is an ingenious setup and one that has no easy answers.

It has been many years and gnashing of teeth to accept that I have a desire body and I will never transcend it while alive on earth. I fretted about never becoming holy due to the demands of the form while trapped in this body. I wanted to run away from the flesh and denigrate the body temple as sinful instead of a holy shrine which houses my essence. The body is the dormitory for this forever student taking the life course.  An easy way out is to become ultra-holy and transcend the morass. Climb the mountain of spiritual appearances and declare yourself enlightened. From my vantage point, that method is pathology and a form of escapism. You can alter your vibration and ascend the energetic ladder, though for most it's impossible to stay there. But that's not the point; there's a time and place for that experience.

This was a big part of the lesson. When I drop the body where will I go? I'll do the next course which is to hang out in the spiritual planes and get so high. I'll have to come down to get to the heart. Being high sounds great. Well, I'd hazard to guess it's a whole new set of problems. Instead of focusing on the problems inherent in having a body, one will have to deal with the trouble that comes from being free and indestructible. There're problems associated with that? I intuit after you let out a big breath from discovering you are omnipotent, you develop an overbearing righteousness combined with judgment. You peer down into the lower planes of existence and cast damnation on all those in material form who are leading lives of greed and avarice. You forget where you just came from and project all that you experienced still onto the other. That's not me anymore; I'm holy! You can also do this trip while in the body and it's even more hypocritical because the body is the desire body, and you'll never transcend the experience.

From understanding, there is an acknowledgement that what we call religion is the spiritual path of a man. Personally, I chafed at the Abrahamic religions and wondered why for the most part there is no divine feminine presence in them. I thought religious stories were disparate myths; edited by ancient social scientists in order to create a nation and culture. This is demonstrably true, especially in the Old Testament. The New Testament takes global the construction of a powerful group dynamic based on an idea. However, with understanding I saw the Bible as the pinnacle of the spiritual journey of a man. The structure of the Old and New Testaments as separate but related is an ingenious setup that I've discovered as I have walked my own independent path. God the father is an asshole, and the Old Testament perfectly captures this character. Jesus is whom we strive to become. The constant theme on the spiritual journey, as expressed in the Bible, is the holy man and his righteousness and judgment of others.

The cruelty of the righteous is untethered in judgment as it is sustained by righteousness. The punishment is deserved! The example of becoming like the father after embracing the holy path is revealing and instructive. I can now point the finger at myself and ultimately laugh. When I ascend the ladder of the energetic planes and find myself in the upper worlds, I see how easy it is to judge others and become righteous because I have become the most high. I am my father and the way God judges in the Old Testament is perfect. I forget where I came from in the lower world and all the mistakes I made on my journey and declare the peasants trapped in form degenerate! How could they be so vile and selfish? Ha ha, it's all perfect! That's the work to do for the holy man who gets so high he accelerates past the heart. Do you see the ingeniousness of the mother? She's in the middle. High and low are classes in the course of the heart. The cruelty of the high and the degeneracy of the low are equal in their extremes and are to lead you to the heart. Love is the teacher and will let you oscillate between extremes in order to get you to realize where it is you eventually want to be.

I wonder if there are the equivalent of plant medicines in the astral plane that instead of getting you high will bring you down to the bliss of the heart. Wouldn't that be a shocker?

Ever wonder why the typical holy person escapes to the mountains, becomes a hermit, and abandons civilization? It's because they are running away from doing the work. The work involves the other and treating them the same way you treat yourself. Repeated failure at these lessons, with a desire to be holy, leads one to escape the academy and so off you go! It's way better to live among your sisters and brothers and work towards unity. There is a similarity between the upper and lower planes of existence in that the path to be discovered and followed leads to the heart. In my experience, it is a long time to get to the point where you can walk the path of the heart in earnest. The road is long and winding. Is Paul McCartney referring to the heart when he sings, "The Long and Winding Road?"

The long and winding road

That leads to your door

Will never disappear

I've seen that road before

It always leads me here

Lead me to your door

I love the story of the Garden of Eden in the opening chapter of the Bible and how Adam and Eve are tossed out it when they eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Eating the fruit of the tree results in the expulsion from the Garden because they lose the ability to see all as one. The Garden is the heart, I've previously revealed the metaphorical nature, and the story is telling us the pursuit of knowledge will lead you away from the heart. This is my story and why I am at the point in my life where I must head back to my home - the heart. My life has been defined by an intense desire to know. This is why I have incarnated into a body on earth. I wanted knowledge of self; self being everything. I'm not foolish enough to believe I will get all the answers but Hoo Boy I've received all the knowledge I could hope for. I've quenched the desire to know. I'm satiated. The path in front of me is the path of the heart and I know how to find and follow it.

There's nothing physical about the location of the heart or the Garden of Eden. The heart is love and love is a feeling. The power of love will unveil the path and will lead you home. That's why when Adam and Eve were tossed out of the Garden, they could never re-find it. Yahweh put a cherubim with a flaming sword at the eastern entrance to guard re-entry so the pair could not access the tree of life. Intuition tells us eternal life is accessed through the heart and unity while duality and knowledge involves cycles of life and death. The Israelites intuited they needed to head East to get back to the land of milk and honey and set their sights on Jerusalem. Jerusalem is also the metaphorical heart however the Israelites would always turn the city into a worldly economic centre and thus ensure its destruction and a catastrophic scattering of the nation once again. History is a surprisingly good teacher and knowledge unveiled gives you the answers you desire. Mass suffering as a result is a hell of a teacher to show you how hard it is to find the path and walk back home to the heart without sullying it.

I have a personal story to tell about coming home from work late one Friday. I was taking a bus back home and now that we are post-pandemic, the normal heavy traffic has resumed, and the bus was crawling home along the highway while I distracted myself with my phone. I briefly looked out the window and saw a car with the license plate "Medusa." There're no more coincidences in my waking dream and I knew this was a teaching moment, but I didn't know what. In fact, I was like, "what the fuck does that mean?" for a few days. I have noticed understanding lags a couple of days. So, get this: The Greek myth of Medusa is another story of the heart and the Garden of Eden. Medusa was the most beautiful woman in all the lands. The god Poseidon, the masculine life force in the lower worlds, ravished Medusa at the temple of Athena in Athens - a metaphor for profaning the wisdom of the feminine. As punishment, Medusa was changed into a hideous gorgon, with the ability to transform all who look at her into stone. What is meant by stone? It means incarnation. Energy is slowed down and becomes solid and we take physical form. We are a skeletal system of hard bone! As the epitome of beauty, Medusa was mimicking the Garden of Eden but once violated she doomed humanity to the lower worlds. Instead of seeing her beauty, we see only the ugliness. To get back to the heart is to be able to see the divine feminine for her beauty and not the form she dooms us to. To again see the beauty requires one to have walked the path of the heart back home to love. When I am there, I will once again see the beauty of Medusa.

Medusa was a good teacher in the course. I really liked the lesson. I see that we are in the Garden of Eden and the openness of our heart will allow us to see the beauty and thus return. I'm sure there are many more lessons to come and I'm always on the lookout for the next chapter in the course handbook.

Everyone likes a challenge. You have something better to do? Do you want to play the accumulation game only to see your finite life end and find you can't take it with you? You can take love with you. You can find home through this incarnation and at expiration of the body walk in the front door. Or you can remain ignorant and try your luck in the upper planes of existence. Like an intrepid explorer, I've found the path back to the heart and I'm going to walk it. I found the path of power and realized what I could have and do. When you realize you are in a dream, your own dream, and control the dream what will you do? My self once told me, "I could make your plane crash if I wanted to." Yes, I, we, he, they can. When I realized I had the power and control I exchanged it for free will in order to get back to the heart. I let power go because I sensed something greater. Love is the fount. It is such a great test. Kudos to me for designing a game where you are offered ultimate power to beat the game only to hide within the discovery that if you turn down the offer of the ring of power you get the girl. And the girl has the power of love, which dwarfs all power!

This ties in with the idea of liberation. Being free means being able to traverse the energetic planes of existence. It means not attaching oneself to ego identity and realizing you are so much greater. You've made a stop at the academy of physical life to learn the lesson of loving the other in a world full of suffering. The fire gets hot, and you feel the heat. It may be a dream but oh is it ever real to ascend the energetic ladder while in the body, which necessitates giving up on the idea of who you think you are. There's a reason consciousness explorers will reference ego death during these other worldly mystical experiences.

I have knowledge and I understand it. I have demonstrated it. The course is going to get harder and challenge me to walk the path of the heart. I am not going to get a perfect grade; however, I have risen to all the challenges as presented to get this far. When I stray off the path to fulfill worldly desires, I still see the heart path. My desires still present themselves to me, waiting for fulfillment. Failure at this point would be very disappointing. The heat is turned up because I know the answer to all I have searched for. I left the fount of love and tasted the fruit of the tree of knowledge. I have a ticket that will allow me to get back into the Garden. The call to adventure resumes!

tempering the extremes of omnipotence

The purpose and meaning of incarnation into a world of my own making is to explore the extremes of the high and the low; to wit the duality of self. As the stone idol at Chavín de Huántar in the Andean highlands teaches, bring all back to centre at our own personal axis mundi. The purpose is to find wholeness in the heart space in the middle, called the chaupi in the Quechuan language. This is also the fourth chakra in a seven-fold energetic human existence. The answer is not found in the crown chakra and the pure white light of enlightenment; ah, it's fun to climb that mountain and experience God consciousness but in the end, you see that's not why you're here. You already are God. Instead, the reason why you are here is reconciliation. To bring all back to centre, taking the unity of form of the divine feminine and merging with the independent spirit of the divine masculine. And from this process you rediscover the heart and love. This is why you created this whole game and imbued the quest with the impetus and desire to discover the secret. The puzzle kept you going. The game was frustrating and challenging, but ultimately fun. The hero's journey kept you invested and involved. I love a challenge and I'm going to keep going through multiple lifetimes in order to complete this quest and along the way I'm going to unveil the mystery. What an adventure! Kudos to myself for designing this most interesting game-board.

And so, here I am. I did the journey and completed the quest. I unveiled the mystery. I rescued the princess. What’s left now if I keep sailing on this ship of discovery? My ship is blessed with the moniker "The Fool." I clearly see the destination as I look into this world of form and what is revealed is all pervasive duality. I see the opposites and know the task at hand is to bring the opposites to the centre in order to find love. That's why I did it - to find balance and temper the extremes of omnipotence. The sideshows I created to keep me interested and continuing on the voyage so that eventually I'd see it and discover the reason "why" I did this. I wanted to know God; I wanted to know what makes me tick along with discovering the answer to how do I reconcile the creator and the destroyer within? I now see what it is I wanted to see - the polarity and separation, and grudgingly I accept that she was correct all along. She is Love - the Great Goddess, and she shows me reconciliation of what is leads to the centre and in this centre is found life and love.

Earth is one of these centres where we have life and can practice love. It's on now; this is your classroom buddy. Reconciliation is the game! You did the whole journey, found what you seek is within, and created a world that manifests difficult situations which implore you to find solutions to the endemic problem. The various problem-solving methods at hand are diverse and most lead you away from what it is you seek. The answer to the conundrum is love and you find this answer after exhausting all avenues that take you away from the centre. The streets of separation are roads paved with fame and fortune but ultimately lead you farther down a path to nowhere and eventually we all lose the way home. Wow, we sure have travelled a great distance and now I no longer even realize within there is a castle made of gold which houses the Goddess and her gift of love. We forgot her and buried the knowledge of the feminine divine under the sands of time.

I never cease to be amazed at the writing process and how it lubricates the mind which in turn allows you to make a connection to wisdom and understanding. As I spent the day writing this post and consequently thinking about it, I had yet another epiphany on the nature of being. The root chakra and the crown chakra are connected as in they are polar opposites. One is chaos and form while the other is order and separation. They are the representation of the feminine and masculine energies who need and attract each other. I know the answer is found in the fourth chakra which is the heart. Both paths, regardless of origin, lead to the heart whether you start from the bottom or the top. It is in the middle where biological life is possible. The balance between the two eternal and divine energies create and sustains life. Life is precarious and it’s only on this gift of Pachamama where we can experience biological life which in turn allows us to find love and realize now is the time to express that love.

Furthermore, I intellectually started investigating the polar origins of the cyclical energetic system and realized that some of us are on a journey of ascension while others are in a state of deceleration of the energetic signature. Some of us are entering into life via the crown chakra and heading towards stasis while others are entering at the bottom of the mountain and beginning the long climb to the grandeur of self. Each energetic journey leads to the heart at the mid-point of the journey and it’s where we manifest into conscious form; so, here we are. This is the game we are playing. Acceleration from feminine unity, separate into form, and finish the climb. Deceleration from masculine separation, unify into form, and return to the great mother who smothers. Some of us will head towards the light at bodily death and others will descend into the darkness. But don’t you worry; it’s all cyclical and it is the constant transformation of your energetic signature that bestows upon you eternal life. The ride is the thing. Embrace it.

The cycles within this cycle are of the same nature as within our lives we traverse the energetic centres and remove the blocks in order to experience all facets of life in this body. Some head towards the crown chakra to become the king of their domain, fully enlightened, while others take the path of unity back to the base chakra. Most of us get stuck in the second chakra of carnal pleasures or the third chakra of personal power and greed. Once again, with experience and the subsequent wisdom is discovered in the fourth chakra of the heart is where we become fully realized human beings.

So, what's left is to love. Open the heart, put yourself in others' shoes, and find compassion. Realize that greed and games of power mask fear. Transmute that fear into love. Plant the seed so that others know there is another way; life doesn't have to be this way. Leave this world a better place and light up the Goddess’ heart castle so that other game players can see the beacon shining in the distance when they are ready to head towards her divine gift of love.

sucking Satan’s cock

Why does society at large think it’s only the small-time operators that run get rich quick schemes? When you get access to the public purse that can endlessly print money, it seems too tempting to not take advantage of that situation, especially if you can gain the support of those in charge of the largesse through funnelling the cash back to them. What an exquisite confidence game and there are so many suckers that do their bidding and act as enforcers of this lunacy.

The lessons from the wisdom of Huachuma in the mountains of Ecuador in late 2017 are front and centre now. I am currently cracking the code of the vibratory nature of being and the different states the frequencies I lock to can raise or lower my consciousness. During this two-day intensive in the Andes, I also learned of the master world frequency which is found in the third chakra and it involves personal power and control. A jerk is someone caught up in the vibration of the third chakra. This dominant paradigm in the world puts humans into selfish mode on a quest for fame and fortune. If you join culture and play the game seriously this is what you are playing. Even if you aren’t seeking the power and control necessary to get you all the riches, you will be working for someone or some corporation that makes the fortune and distributes it to you. You exchange the best of yourself for a piece of the pie which you use to survive and perhaps have a little left over to spend on some fleeting pleasure. Within your small little world, you become one of these centres and have those dependent upon your largesse. I have a family and a dog that without me are living in poverty, begging for scraps.

Grandfather Huachuma doesn’t mince words or holdback when he is teaching. Crudely, he told me all who are caught up in the world system are sucking Satan’s cock. And he kept saying it to the point of making it really uncomfortable. I get it; there’s the large corporation that makes piles of money by running some enterprise to take advantage of others and hire a bunch of people to market, influence, and make it happen. Every corporation worth its salt needs the lawyers and accountants. The lawyers obfuscate and hide the deception while the accountants count the cash. In a large organization, it is easy for money to disappear and there’s a recognition that players of the game are untrustworthy scoundrels and will steal from their sick grandma therefore we have those arbiters of fairness so that the pie is distributed as agreed to. You do know why they lock up the toilet paper rolls in the bathroom stalls?

I get my piece of the pie by playing this game. I'm good at it. My teacher laughed and said you’re sucking Satan’s cock too. Yeah, I know. He showed me power centres and then all the connections to the main source. It was like the proverbial top-down poster of the drug lord kingpin and then all the distributors scattered throughout the globe. I’m not greedy enough to take all I can get, in essence I don’t lock to that vibration, however I enter into that level of consciousness in order to make a living. Plant medicine teachers are pretty graphic when they teach you about the predominant vibration of greed in the world. I’ve had visions of a fat and naked man rolling in a pile of gold. I’ve been shown how people with this vibe will do anything for money. They’ll not think twice about killing you if it gets them what they want. I’ve had unpleasant revelations of all serving this avarice, even those that act on the periphery of it. It was tough because I wanted to believe there is unconditional good in this world. The lessons of Ayahuasca were pretty relentless in this regard. She kept showing me how she was being used by operators of retreats that had monetized her. I didn’t like those visions; I preferred the grand narrative that her use was altruistic in nature and everyone involved was pure. I’d drink again and she’d show me repeatedly how she is being used.

There are these entry level Ayahuasca retreats everywhere. I think they are great to introduce you to the medicine. If you continue along the path, it will become obvious what the next steps are and they involve staying away from these large retreats. Well, maybe not obvious for all as sometimes the message takes a while to sink in. It’s the beauty of the medicine in that they are a wild card. No human can control what they teach; humans can modulate the brew but that usually steers the experience further off the cliff! I’m damaged goods, work in media, and I see through the marketing, the influencers, and the con jobs. Humans are untrustworthy when it comes to money. If you give them a handful of money or a free trip, they will say what you want them to say and most are not up front about it. At the end of the day or the end of your life, do you want to look back and see you were an influencer who profited off that relationship and controlled the message or did you heed the advice from Ram Dass’ guru Maharaji and “Tell the truth."

Ayahuasca would show me this reality and Huachuma would drive it home. Those who love this game of greed want to live forever and are hard at work trying to figure out the secrets of the great Mother. How to prevent the decay and dissolution of form? She told me they never will because form is love and it's something they don’t understand. Life implies death. If you want to live forever, see Medusa, and become stone.

To be blunt, influencers looking to profit off the ability to enchant, are sucking Satan’s cock. Combining the twin energetic centres of third chakra personal power with the ability to influence with fifth chakra words leads to fame and fortune. Resting within the middle of these vices, buried and forgotten, is the heart. My experience in this strange world suggests this path of avarice is ultimately a way to lead one back to the heart because in those quiet moments you see what you have done. The alternative is to find a method of addiction to numb that nagging pain. 

all is vibration

The first time I drank Ayahuasca the Great Goddess told me all is vibration as she was leaving at the end of the night. I remember my finger tapping quickly and rhythmically on the maloca floor as I was coming down back into my body. This knowledge stuck with me though I didn’t really understand it. I wrote a poem about this encounter after I returned home that summed up my feelings.

i am the music

celestial songbird,

with notes of grace.

this warbling Goddess

sings to me.

she tells me

all is vibration.

do i understand?

maybe, maybe not.

the time signature

slowly changes.

forever playing,

the chorus repeats:

her song of love,

forgiveness and longing.

my life is that song.

i am the music.

When I turned 50 I went on a trip where I was determined to finish my spiritual climb up the mountain and I arranged the trip so that I would physically climb mountains. At that point in my journey, I had encountered the dragon plus the requisite fear that meeting inculcates and as a result in order to continue on in my search I successfully transformed myself into a brave warrior. Nothing was going to stop me now on my quest for knowledge. I look back at that point in my life and realize I had the answers I was looking for but hadn’t integrated them yet into understanding but I correctly knew I was at the point where I could finish my climb. I ended up in the Andes mountains in Ecuador drinking Huachuma in the backyard of a local shaman. During the sessions I was given the information of how vibration, frequency, and resonance work and assigned homework to piece it all together so I could fully understand it. Here is what I wrote about this lesson:

It was demonstrated that you can temporarily lower your frequency signature through the use of sound and employing mantras. When your frequency matches another’s, you are in harmony and this resonance allows you to become one with the other that is expressing the same oscillation. First, it was explained how this is the reason why people are attracted to each other. The example given is when two people fall in love as It is not necessarily rational but neither can fight it because they are locked together in harmony. Once I understood this, the lesson was extrapolated into ancient technologies and I was shown how the pyramids were built. Once you find the frequency of the stone you wish to move then you alter the frequency of your workers to match and it allows for easy manipulation of megaton stones as the stone and the builder have become one. The assembling of these grand monuments then became a matter of showcasing design skills as the construction became an execution of plans by manipulating frequency through sound to achieve resonance. While being taught this I kind of thought I already might know this. It just became a case of remembering what I already knew. I became elated with this teaching that was being flooded into my thought processes like a flower opening up to the rising sun. I knew that this knowledge being revealed to me involved homework on my part to verify it as well as delving into mantra that can alter my vibrational signature. This renewed my spirit and I was so enjoying the day with Grandfather. My homesickness abated and I felt in great spirits to finish my odyssey. San Pedro then went on to explain to me how a master frequency or sync pulse is the one we all attach to and creates what we think is reality. It is the hypnotic pulse of who we like to call Satan or the world system/order. To get out of the matrix stop locking to this pulse, create your own, or practice altering your frequency so you don't get attached and stuck in this master world oscillation. Slow time down by raising your good vibrations and leave Satan's morass behind. Be the master of your own world and create your own vibration which will cause people to follow you instead of the common world vibration, which in mythology is the pied piper playing a tune.

I let the process unfold and didn’t try and force it, figuring understanding would come when I was ready. Little did I know my expectations of the length of time a course should take and the time span of courses offered by Grandfather Huachuma were wildly different. At any rate, it has been about four years and the lessons and understanding are hitting me with full force.

The world is made of vibration. The vibration is the interplay between the divine feminine and masculine. The pull of the feminine on the masculine keeps him from accelerating beyond the speed limit of light. The force of the masculine keeps the feminine from decelerating into imperceptible motion. The alternating motion created by their attraction is the frequency of the vibration.

Consciousness is a fancy name for frequency. By this, I mean all the talk of raising consciousness is the same as raising your vibration and locking into a different and higher frequency. Energy is the interplay of masculine and feminine. The game is acceleration versus deceleration. When the masculine is dominant we have liberation from form. When the feminine takes centre stage, we have form. I live in a world of form and I’m in a lower frequency where the energy has locked to a pulse that is slow enough to allow objects to coalesce. The masculine acceleration is used by the feminine to create the massive spin of form resulting in a gravitation pull that allows for biological life in a relatively stable environment. In essence, the wise feminine uses the masculine force against himself. Check and mate! The earth is a playground created by Pachamama for her children. The destructive power of the masculine accelerant moves the game along and doesn’t allow the form to stay forever in one piece thus our world is defined by change. So, consciousness is the rate of vibration that the drama is taking place upon. Within the drama is a spectrum of frequencies that are accessible while in a human body.

The world, as in culture, has a dominant frequency of greed and scarcity that we lock to. It is not set in stone and can change however it is the current paradigm that we play within and in times of frustration call the rat race. As individuals, we are all different and have our own dominant frequency we operate at and most us can move within a couple of these frequencies with relative ease as well as having access to more levels of consciousness. For the most part, most of us never reach these higher levels.

I always kind of smirked when people would bring up astrology and the zodiac. It’s preposterous to a rational man like myself. I mean come on, there’re twelve signs and of the seven billion plus people on earth we can fit everyone into one of those 12 signs like a cookie cutter human? Sorry, does not compute. Alan Watts had a great explanation for the phenomenon. I’ll paraphrase it as your sign is a snapshot of the state of the universe at your time of birth since everything is cyclical. Thinking like an ancient in that you are connected to everything and an expression of the universe, this made sense to me. I read a lot of Carl Jung and came across his 12 Jungian archetypes and did the test. It accurately pegged me as a Sage and this got me thinking if his brilliant mind could boil people down to 12 personality types maybe this astrology thing was on to something?

I’ve been a little obsessed with the Hindu chakras as of late and have been studying them on and off for about a year, letting concepts sink in, and incorporating them into my spiritual practice. Due to my work with the Mesa and Mapacho, I’m very familiar with my inner power and how to manifest it. My nightly dalliances with Kundalini energy moving up with great turbulence through my energy centres allows the inquisitive part of me to try and figure it out. She repeatedly moves up through the seven energy centres and I finally put two and two together. Those chakras are the different frequencies readily available to us humans that I had been given instruction about during my time with Huachuma in the mountains of Ecuador. They are levels of consciousness and everyone of us has access to them but we tend to live within just two of the frequencies. I started doing this exercise where to every one I know I assign a dominant chakra and a secondary chakra. Of course, I easily figured out my two.

The crown chakra is a state of being you can visit but to remain there would take major sacrifice. I am reminded of the stories Ram Dass tells about his guru Maharaji, who spends the day counting his beads and mumbling to himself “ram, ram, ram, ram…” It now seems clear to me what he was doing. He was staying high; so high he stayed in omnipotent crown chakra god mode as long as he focussed on that vibration. I’m sure he would come down to teach but then had his method for getting back up to the crown.

Enlightenment in this context seems to be the process of changing vibration and accessing all frequencies available to an eternal being ensconced within a human body. When you can light them all up and hit the jackpot, instead of just a couple at a time, that seems to be an actual process you could accurately call enlightenment. As you approach the white light time slows down and welcomes you to eternity. I wonder what frequencies of experience await when it comes time to drop the body? When you once again become omnipotent the levels of consciousness must be astronomical. Something I'll look forward to!

Ego is dependent upon the common cultural frequency to which you lock. It’s comfortable to act within your role in a narrowly defined drama. When you alter your consciousness, the ego flags it as a threat. You think you are being hypnotized when in essence you are being deprogrammed and given freedom to scan the consciousness spectrum which causes the ego to go on high alert. The old dependable you, who can be manipulated by the power centres within culture, is waking up. If you keep it up you are going to start breaking character and really tasting all life has to offer.

Okay, so let’s take a quick look at the seven frequencies of the subtle body. Our base chakra called the Muladhara is our wild nature before all the overlays of life are added. It’s our natural physical nature and we see this energy on display within animals. It’s our survival instinct that allows us to go into warrior mode for preservation or run from the danger magnified by fear if necessary. Meet a free-spirited person and they likely have this chakra as one of their main frequencies they traverse. The second chakra is the home to our lusts, desires, passions, and urges which also fuels the creative juices within us. We all know someone who expresses these traits explicitly out in the open while culture forces most of us to bury these passions which in turn causes them to build up to the point the energy must be satiated. Gluttony unchecked and the desire for more is found at this level of consciousness. Satiating desire is so satisfying and thus this is a hard obstacle to get past. The third chakra is our personal power. This powerful mental energy is found in politicians and those who strive to make it in this world. It’s the main frequency of the world, forcing everyone to play the game of fame and fortune to survive. The egomaniac pulses with this power. Lower chakras are what we normally experience in this world and here we find the final block as we strive and drive towards personal greatness. From this "all for me" energetic vibration it’s a short jump to the heart chakra. Breaking past the obstacle of selfishness leads you directly into the heart. The heart is the home of love and compassion that we constantly confuse with the second chakra. Eventual understanding leads to the recognition that in a human body this chakra in the centre is where we find the answer we seek. In duality, the only answer is to unconditionally love all. We are all of the same unfolding energetic pulse. I am you as you are me and we are all together. The fifth chakra is the throat chakra where we learn of the power we have to influence others through our speech. It is describing the magnetic personality of many that can be used to influence and gain power. As with all the levels of vibration, it can be used for positive or negative means. Personally, this chakra reminds me to live in truth and drop the narrative I create about myself. As well, be conscious now that I am older of the effect my words have on the younger generations who are still seeking out their place in life. The sixth chakra is the third eye in the psychic plane. As a natural born mystic, I know all about this chakra though I spent most of my life not knowing of my nature or my connection. Once I discovered a way to alter my consciousness, making a connection with the spiritual realm became second nature. There is a tie in to the creative energy of the second chakra which hints at the sacredness of sexual energy to the spiritual. The seventh chakra is the crown chakra where you return to omnipotence and find yourself as god/goddess. Like I said earlier, you can’t stay there but it’s fun to get a glimpse of omnipotence.

How long can you stay there, well, this goes for any of the vibratory states, is determined by your mastery of each level. From a purely colloquial standpoint, the language used within spiritual circles is pretty spot on. Terms like “I feel blocked” or “I’m going to level up” and “good vibes/bad vibes” are bandied about and the expression of these truths comes from a place within that knows. It really is quite fascinating that deep down we all know what it is we are striving for and the game becomes finding the spark that will help you remember what it is you already know. If you are chasing personal power and can’t give it up you will feel blocked and never reach the next level. Same goes for our lusts, whether that is food, drink, money, sexual pursuits, carnal pleasures and the like. If your vibration constantly pulls you towards these pursuits you’ll expend your precious energy in this frequency. It’s pretty simple to understand once you make the connections, though to put all into practice is a different story.

I was thinking the other night while smoking Mapacho about the great debt I have to some of my spiritual teachers. My rock is the Great Goddess. The Maestro of Maestros is who I call the Dragon. The three main human influences on my path have been Alan Watts, Ram Dass, and don Howard and they all brought their unique strengths and teachings to the table. Alan Watts appeals to me because of his ability to intellectually break down worldwide spiritual concepts which allows for understanding. Ram Dass is very different in that his journey was experiential and there is something to him that is very genuine. His admission that he is a spiritual dilettante is very endearing. I mean why not? The goal of a spiritual discipline should lead you to the god within and the vibratory nature of the universe. How you get there is of no real concern. I met don Howard at a time in my life when I needed guidance on the spiritual path and he provided a place I could trust as well as introducing me to concepts and experiences I would never have come across. The power of the Mesa and my love of Mapacho are directly related to my good fortune of coming into his sphere of influence and I don’t think it was accidental. I mean, I can’t envision my life path and all I have discovered without having met the wizard. Anyway, I bring up these three men because their teachings are multi-faceted and you can listen to them over and over again because when you’re ready you will grok the teaching. I usually joke about listening to Alan Watts’ lectures about ten times before I finally understand the topic. Ram Dass’ teachings are simpler and more heart based. They are laid out pretty straightforward and in this way he is being a conduit for his guru Maharaji. I have mentioned before the simple teaching of Maharaji telling him to "Love all and tell the truth.” This advice is wildly transforming. I happened upon one of his earlier lectures and he was talking about vibration and everything was lining up with what I have discovered in my own experimentation. It’s funny that of course now this is resonating with me. This led to me remembering a three-word slogan he uses. Love Serve Remember. Love all, Serve all, and Remember God.

I grew up chafing at religion, God, and the like so the use of the word God is always slightly problematic. Ram Dass talks of God, guru, and self all being one so I get what he means by remembering God. I finally made the connection of the missing link of vibration and it relates to what this blog post is all about. Maharaji would sit all day with his blanket and mumble “ram, ram, ram, ram…”. Ram being God. Everyday, in his notebook he’d write two pages of “ram, ram, ram, ram…”. He’d have his beads in his hands constantly counting them while remembering God. He mastered vibration and was using these techniques to stay in the crown chakra! So, he gives the simple instruction “Remember God.” You want to hang out at this level of consciousness then it’s really easy. Spend every waking moment doing acts that will bring you to God. You want to be in the heart chakra then Love All and Serve All. That’s it. Easy, right?

the serpent power

This study of tantra has opened up a liberating line of thinking. It has led me to experience the chakra energy centres within the subtle body non-linearly instead of treating them as a conceptual ladder of ascension that symbolize achievement of spiritual bona fides. What I mean is all the energy within the body can be experienced and it’s all sacred. Instead of treating the lower chakras such as the second chakra of sexual energy as a gross manifestation of energy that needs to be refined and purified, I was shown that the creative power which sustains life is the direct result of this energy. This knowledge has been staring me in the face and I have been denying it all my life due to cultural hang-ups about sex. Once it was pointed out to me, I immediately connected to this wisdom and felt so free. It does tie into liberation where you let go of your narrative and the hold culture has on you and just sit with what you experience. It’s so natural and yet sexual energy is denied and buried in our culture. It is the rocket boost to send you up on your way in your journey of ascension after unification and transformation.

Another revelation is the nature of each of the chakra energy centres and how we have subsequently organized, structured, and placed them into a hierarchy. Once again, it is through liberation of thought I connected with different ways of perceiving energy. It was pointed out by a teacher that in meditation you don’t experience these states in the order you read about them. I definitely already knew that but and it’s strange this fact had to be pointed out to me so I could register and acknowledge the reality of these vibrational centres. Perhaps I thought I was an outlier? The energy centres are non-linear and can be accessed independently of the others. Quite often in meditation you may find yourself in the higher states and you will notice your access was not a linear and structured progression to get there. First off, I’ve experienced a purple energy, followed by an energy that resembles an eye, as well as a bluish energy encircled by gold speckles. These are the higher spiritual states yet they are what I experience during deep meditation. The lower chakra centres on the ascending scale I have never directly experienced in meditation, though curiously with the plant medicine Huachuma they manifest as smouldering hot red and orange flames of passion that lead to the heart and a green energy becomes palpable. The power experienced is non-linear and it’s our left hemispheric brain which takes a perceptual experience, devoid of a linear defining characteristic, and organizes them into some kind of achievement to be ascended a step at a time. It’s very funny to see the process that the masculine mind tries to overlay upon the non-structured feminine.

As with all attempts of defining experiences on this path, it’s near impossible to fit chakras into a non-linear or linear box. Though I realized I can access their respective vibratory states in a non-linear fashion, the actual linear ladder like climb is the stuff of the masculine hero on his journey of ascension. Each power centre acts as a block on the path and the one that holds your particular predilections is the most arduous of them all to break free of. In my case, I found a dragon that prevented full access to this tree of life however I was able to move past him after developing a little courage and bravery. The second chakra of life passions, desires, lusts, and urges has been my particular bugaboo and the biggest block upon my path. It wasn’t until I understood the vibratory nature of existence that I was able to master this frequency. Onwards towards the third chakra and my egoistic aspirations and personal power. Like all, I have selfishness however I have never exalted myself or tried to take advantage of others for personal gain. The one roadblock I do see in this frequency is spiritual inflation. To put it bluntly, I know I’m god. That’s a tough one to not succumb to inflating one’s outlook upon themselves. I think it’s kind of funny and I know you’re god too so I don’t think I’ll get too stuck. It’s the next chakra, the heart, that I’ll need to spend some time on. Head up and heart forward.

In addition, chakras are dualistic so that each energy centre has a positive and negative charge. For instance, the second chakra can undulate with desire or can express the awesome ability to create. The throat chakra gives you the power of words to use to enchant, influence, or tell the truth. It’s your choice in how you want to use the power bestowed by the flowering of the energy.

As with most experiences on my spiritual journey, I experienced the coming on and rising of the kundalini energy and had no idea what was going on. Looking back on my early experiences with the plant magic of Ayahuasca and Huachuma, I can see how powerful they are for changing consciousness in addition to taking you into states of energetic rapture where it’s trial by fire. Even if I had studied tantric yoga and was intellectually immersed in all outcomes of the psychedelic states, nothing compares to actually being in the eye of the storm. The second time I drank Huachuma, my whole body started vibrating with the energy reaching a crescendo that brought me to my knees. The sensation was this fluttering within that was very strong. Think of a giant moth buzzing behind your ear with a great vibration but that being within your body. I felt my heart opening but wasn’t scared by the effect it was having on my heart. I could very easily see someone thinking they are having a heart attack. Instead, I just stayed on the ground with my whole body in some kind of a pre-orgasmic state. I closed my eyes and saw two huge serpents flanking an incredible ball of intense light. I held out my hands for others to touch so they could feel the energy and someone else wondered what I was experiencing. I blurted out “serpent energy” which was strange because I just said it without thinking. Throughout the rest of the day I was seeing serpent shapes in the ground and cycling in and out of highly energetic states.

I had no idea at the time what happened. I was taken aback by all of it and was even unsure at the time if I should drink Huachuma again. I convinced myself to experience this potentiator of energy a couple days later and looking back I can clearly see what happened. I was blasted into the heart chakra. I sat on the boat on the Amazon river and felt this incredible cosmic bliss. My heart was wide open and I looked up into the sky and this rainbow patch formed. We got off the boats and I felt such love for the tribe we were visiting. I physically started seeing energy manifest all around me and I was confused by this novel experience and spiralled down again. When we returned to the boats I sat beside the shaman don Rober and once again my heart opened but it was so strange. How bizarre that I’d spent my life with a heart so closed that when it was opened I was confused by the sensation. As we returned to the Sanctuary, I looked into the distance and saw manifest heavenly apparitions of fireworks. I now look back on the experience as a celebration of blasting through the energetic chakra centres and then lighting off fireworks at the completion. The funny thing was at the time I had no idea and just wanted off the ride!

The musical scale mimics these energy centres within the body. This is vibrational magic and the expression "good vibes" is not just a trite expression. Changing vibration is how the magic works. In order to access occluded planes of consciousness, alter your vibration. Practice the ability to modulate frequency through love, emotion, music, speech, desire, and the like. Try singing the musical scale now. Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Do. Notice how you start deep within and to hit the high note requires you to look towards the top of your head to hit it. It’s a pretty good meditation to sing the ascending scale and then reverse it so the energy descends. Now, notice the rhythm section in a piece of music. It’s a low-level bass and drums. Just like the root chakra, it is the pulse of our life beating out our song.

Within your daily life you can find experiences and practices to further you along on your journey. Obviously, it is impractical to function day to day high on a mind-manifesting substance that changes your vibration so the answer is to make your life the spiritual practice you seek. 

experiential

My pulsing energy within is the intertwined feminine Serpent and the masculine Jaguar. This is the conjunction of power where earth meets sky and the sun and moon energies collide. The Hindu chakra system of ascension of the earth based feminine Kundalini serpent tells half of this eternal story. The masculine energy as a bull or feline descends into our sacred vessels from the sky. The meeting place of these two lovers is in the centre, the fourth chakra, which is the heart chakra.

It’s through the use of psychedelic substances that I was able to sense this eternal truth and subsequently make the connection to ancient spiritual paths. Consciousness altering methods allow the human access to obfuscated sense perceptions normally unavailable to us.

The ascension of the serpent gives rise to achievement and spurs on the masculine goal of enlightenment of our physical form. The descending of the masculine energy as spirit is the energy to rouse the sleeping serpent. I experienced this in an Ayahuasca ceremony where I envisioned my crown chakra being permanently opened and the white light continuously entering and lighting up the seven energy centres in a continual process as each chakra lit up with its respective colour. It was during a Vilca experience a year and a half later where I witnessed these eternal and imperishable beings made of love and powered by ever-transforming light. It’s only now that I finally connected these two visions. The beings were composed of the love of the Goddess and the light of the God. This is what is described and experienced in moments of rapture when the Kundalini rises up the Ida channel after the spirit descends the Pingala to rouse and propitiate her. A third plant medicine, Huachuma, first allowed me to physically experience this phenomenon, though at the time I was gobsmacked. The second time I drank Huachuma, the energy within was potentiated and I became lit up with power and disoriented to the novel experience. My whole body was shaking with an intense electrical charge and my heart was fluttering with a tremendous energy load. I closed my eyes and saw an intense ball of white light surrounded by two larger than life serpents. I was experiencing the full effects of the chakra cycle, lit up by the light and the power of the Kundalini serpent. Subsequently with Huachuma, I can experience intense states of an energetic load as I am a conduit for the pulsing of the two eternal energies of the universe. I can also experience this reaction within as a burning hot passionate flame that radiates from my being. I close my eyes and I see smouldering colours of an intensity that is combustible.

The great pre-Columbian South American civilization at Chavín de Huántar, which used the sacrament of Huachuma to build community, deserves a second look in conjunction with the principles ascertained in the chakra system of the Hindus. This post Bronze Age civilization marked a high point and probably the last flicker of a flame of human co-operation before we devolved into a race defined by conflict. Chavín represented the axis mundi and is where the confluence of elemental energies and cultures converged. It is in the stone idol we call the lanzon that the two eternal energies of the feminine serpent and the masculine jaguar come together as one representing the same love and light captured in stone as I detailed above. In addition, the designation of Chavín comes from the transposition of a Quechua word chapin via the root word chaupi which refers to the heart in the middle of this grand reconciliation of all in this great temple in the Peruvian highlands. The connections to the Hindu chakras are tantalizing and helps understand the teachings. The serpent and jaguar, one rising and one falling, meet in the middle at the heart chakra. Our human potential, powered by the rising Kundalini becomes conjoined with the descent into the human of our spiritual potential which then meet in the heart space. We can experience rapture with the rising energy while the spiritual energy comes to awaken our eternal self and lift us up.

I’ve experienced this, seen it at work, and then saw my destiny as an imperishable and eternal being made of the love of the serpent and the ever-transforming light of the jaguar. I finally added it up and can now clearly see it.

Within my own European heritage this same knowledge has been preserved in myth. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs representing the feminine presence within the seven energy centres along with the Prince who awakens Sleeping Beauty from her sleep being the masculine power giving the feminine the power to wake up and rise.

This experience of the energy within is real and palpable. I invite us all to go on the most magnificent journey of discovery that will lead to revealing your destiny. 

remnants of the mystery

The mystery further unravels. First, I had to discover and uncover the power within. Feeling that power for the first time is a rush and since you have no idea what it is, it’s pretty unnerving and you want it to stop. Personally, new experiences are pretty daunting and I usually fail them with aplomb and need time to figure them out. This template was active for my work with plant medicines. At first, they scared the hell out of me and sent me running for cover. However, they were intriguing enough that I came back to explore. This perseverance amounts to the best decision I have ever made. Since I kept at it, the modus operandi of my life predicted I’d figure them out and if I kept at it long enough I’d master the process. I’m not there yet but I see it’s attainable.

You can do physical exercises to rouse and move the energy around. In the end, it isn’t transformational. What is transformational is realizing how to naturally generate the power without tricks of posture. If you wish to open your heart chakra then love everyone. It really is that simple. I’ll repeat: If you wish to experience love energy which radiates from the chest then love all. Just like if you want to feel sexual energy go look at porn. It generates energy for sure. If you are unsure about what I’m referring to, start with sexual energy, as it is the easiest to unlock in order to understand the power that resides within you. Essentially, the energy centres designated as chakras are letting you know of all the available power within, not just the titillating and dirty power! Once the connection is understood, you can start making changes in your behaviour that will unlock each and every power centre. Tell the truth! The throat chakra will pulse with a renewed vigour as telling the truth sets you free and unlocks the rest of the story once you give up the limiting narrative which gives your power away. I am reminded about a story Ram Dass tells when he asks his guru how to get enlightened, expecting a detailed plan to achieve his goal. Maharaji simply told him, “Love all and tell the truth.” Imagine that! Imagine being given that instruction and being bewildered. What? I’m to get enlightened by loving all and telling the truth? Later on in life after this simple teaching, Ram Dass started the Love Serve Remember foundation. Each of those core principles will potentiate chakra energy and lead to unlocking the energetic potential within our sacred vessels. The love will radiate. Through service we will forgo the personal power to control found in the blossoming of the third chakra, and by remembering we will remember Goddess and God and direct our passionate energy towards union with the divine.

So, what have I figured out since I’ve done my fair share of exploring via plant medicines? The power within that’s activated by the reconciliation of the feminine and masculine powers. When you bring them together it lights your being up with power; it rises and there are options of how you wish to channel the energy. I can activate the power with the tobacco maestro Mapacho, potentiate it at my Mesa, and subsequently the union rises up within me.

So, what’s the big deal? It’s the evolution of consciousness; the forging together of this power with consciousness and the next stop on the evolutionary ladder is a multi-dimensional being made of the love of the feminine and powered by the ever-transforming light of the masculine. The two powers as separate need each other or they remain potential. The love of the feminine creates form however she will lapse into smothering and darkness without the masculine. The light of the masculine separates and brings the universe to life however this power will become destructive if not tempered by the love of the feminine. When the two powers combine and are reconciled into the centre then the power rises on up through you and you blast off; greater than the gods as you are the child of the two greater powers and you become free as a bird while riding the wind like a butterfly.

Ancient civilizations taught this to their adherents however we have lost their knowledge. The remnants of the mystery remain somewhat in Hindu chakra practices with the propitiating of the feminine Kundalini serpent by the masculine power. She ascends through the seven energy centres within the body before exiting through the crown chakra into the astral plane. Faints echoes exist in ancient Egypt where we have records of night time dancing, singing, drumming, and intoxicants used to gain favour with the serpent Goddess Wadjet, who was a representation of the Great Goddess Hathor, at her temple in Dendera. She was exhorted to come forth and rise; enlivening and renewing life in all she touched. A representation of this process is also found in the pre-Columbian civilization at Chavín de Huántar where the Lanzón acted as the axis mundi in the centre of centres. The Andes mountains valley plain of Chavín comes from the Quechua word chaupin which refers to the centre from chaupi which is the heart space much like in the chakra system the mid-point of the energetic journey, both acceleration and deceleration, is found in the heart chakra. The stone idol is made of the feminine serpent form and powered by the masculine jaguar energy. This strange artistic creation is the pure genius of a civilization that successfully depicted non-duality in stone in contrast to the Hindu non-dualists who were able to articulate in their language this concept. The reconciliation of the opposite powers is found in the centre and from this undifferentiated form projects out into the universe the multitude of objects that are differentiated by the light of the rising power. The combination of rising energy and consciousness leads to the metaphor of the liberated eagle flying free in the heavens as a representation of the process of the evolution of consciousness. It is a reconciliation of the opposites of feminine and masculine, ignited with the rising power. The final stage of the journey culminating in blasting off into a heavenly realm with extremely limited access. At the ancient site of Chavín, the catalysts for accomplishing this journey were the plant medicines Huachuma and Vilca in combination with the practice of the Mesa. The Mesa exoterically presents to you the reconciliation of the opposite powers of feminine and masculine, life and death, light and dark, upper and lower worlds, water and sky, and brings them all into the centre in the middle world where we are now. Esoterically, the practitioner of the Mesa channels the power coming forth from this construct into their being as an accelerant for the journey ahead. The plant medicine Huachuma activates the power within and additionally floods you with sensations of love. The plant medicine Vilca is the final step; a nitro boost that takes you the last step beyond the body for a glimpse of your destiny.

I’ve been there and have put two and two together. I invite you to explore with me.