It’s been one helluva journey. A progression from one step at a time to the next. If this knowledge was revealed all at once, I would declare it madness and move on. In fact, my first direct meeting with the divine masculine power was an exercise in madness and fear. It was set up to be a test; to see if I had it in me to walk this path. And a test it was as he got into my head. The reveal was a master stroke of genius in that I could decide to never go back however I would always know he was there. There was opportunity and the easy way out; easy power and glory. Alternatively, I could run. I ran. Subsequently, I regrouped and came back. I was still scared but I wasn’t going to let this beat me. I never give in once I put my mind towards something and I hate to lose. This resolve has come forth within my life as an unwavering self-confidence bordering on arrogance.
Monday, February 22, 2021
Monday, February 15, 2021
As you progress along the myriad of spiritual paths available to the seeker, you will come across obstacles in your way ostensibly set up as roadblocks to your liberation. These roadblocks are human-made; they are either cultural cautions of where you are allowed to explore or subtle admonitions shepherding you onto a path that is not of your own making. The shepherd will throw out a bunch of terms to confuse, such as "spiritual materialism" and you have no idea what they are talking about. So, you research it and figure well, they must know about this pitfall so I’ll follow them because they know what it is all about; they are fully realized spiritual beings! Of course, they don’t really know much more than you; they are just collecting followers. That’s what a shepherd does - he or she collects sheep and turns a profit on them.
Monday, February 8, 2021
Alan Watts once told me, “Problems that remain persistently insoluble should always be suspected as questions asked in the wrong way.” I have been struggling with one such question which is how do I transcend desire? I have tried everything. I tried asceticism and I became a renunciate of all worldly pleasures. When these methods only temporarily worked and postponed the inevitable return, I tried the path of tantra and embraced all my desires. Out of all the paths I tried, tantra seem the most natural however going into the nature of my desires did not allow me to transcend them. The path of the tantric is to eventually transcend desire because you play it all out to its conclusion. You get your fill and are then ready for your beatitude. However, I’m positive you will just find new desires. You can play the part of the hermit on the mountain under the old adage, “out of sight, out of mind.” It will work to a degree however you’re just running out the clock on desires. You transcended nothing.
Monday, February 1, 2021
As I travel this path to who knows where, I become more impressed with the psychological concept of the psyche which contains the superego, ego, and id. The reason I mention this paradigm is I tend to examine everything and the structures I have found useful and have used to get further along in the path I always question and re-question, which leads to discarding them if I outgrow their usefulness or their truth. At a certain level of consciousness some conceptual ideas ring true but discoveries can put the idea of it being a universal truth into question. Everything sure seems relative and a Freudian psychological structure that divides the psyche into three seems a little arbitrary, thus why I continually question it.