mother's day

Knowledge combined with clarity is a hallmark of establishing a relationship with tobacco. The latest download occurred on a sunny spring day as I was out in the woods smoking while sitting on a log. I noticed a tree which had fallen years ago and was now completing the rotting phase and becoming more ground fodder. Any trace of the life force energy had left the husk and the log was disintegrating. I stared at the wonder of this process for a while and then started to process the knowledge by applying it to the masculine energetic life force and my own body.

What struck me was the overwhelming evidence of a purification process. The process of the husk of the log falling away into dirt as the energy vacated the form seemed to be revealing a process of energetic purification in this world of form. The earth is a special place in the universe, one of the pit stops on the circuit for energy to become trapped; dare I say imprisoned. The cyclical forces and gravitational pull enacted by the unifying magnetic pull of feminine desire uses the masculine life force against himself by creating the maelstrom of pull which entraps the energy in form. The subsequent striving to be free then creates the natural state where the biological form will eventually fall apart and release the life force in due time. The remnant of form is the dross which falls away after the process of purification. The remaining putrefaction of the life form is recycled to create the habitation for subsequent journeys into the realm of form. The imprisonment into form of the life force is a cleansing process which is burning away desires and leading to a pure and holy state. The ancient meaning of purity is more in line with the state of stillness and clarity as opposed to the definition of morality we have attached to the word.

The ancient semitic word qodesh is the name given to this state of masculine purity.  Strong's Concordance reveals the following meaning:

Strong's #6944: qodesh (pronounced ko'-desh)

from 6942; a sacred place or thing; rarely abstract, sanctity:--consecrated (thing), dedicated (thing), hallowed (thing), holiness, (most) holy (day, portion, thing), saint, sanctuary.

The concept is describing the sacred; a state of purity or a sanctuary which would house the holy. The act of qodesh is to clean and purify. The related derivative Qudshu is the appellation for the Canaanite goddesses Asherah and Athirat and such a goddess is found in the annals of dynastic ancient Egypt. She has a striking appearance that is similar to the ancient Egyptian Great Goddess Hathor. Academic disciplines uncover the knowledge of the goddess and the sacred; however, it is up to the individual who walks the path of the heart to find the true meaning of the concept of qodesh.

The rotted-out tree log on the floor of the forest points me towards the esoteric meaning of purity. The Great Goddess creates the form, and this form is our body which is a holy sanctuary. The sacred vessel receives the masculine spirit thus enlivening the form. Becoming consecrated with the holy form of the Goddess is the most sacred act one can perform. Through this process of successive incarnations, the spirit becomes purified and can indeed walk the path of the heart, the holy path of the Great Goddess.

As I have previously written about, the exalted city of Jerusalem is this veiled Goddess and represents the purity of the heart found in the Garden of Eden. The most common Arabic name for Jerusalem is al-Quds, referring to the most sacred of temples. Humanity sullies the city and makes it unclean, thus rousing the anger of Yahweh who successively destroys the city throughout history in a cleansing fire of purification. Within each of us is the ability to return to the Garden of Eden; a magical place only accessed through the heart. It is hidden and to find the path takes much faith in the power of love.

Successive incarnations into the hot fire of mortality burns away the dross and purifies us to the holy state which will allow us to see the path of the heart and set out on the journey back home. The transformed hero has become a warrior at the hands of his demanding father and returns to the loving arms of his heart. My heart is my mother.

desire and liberation

A circle is a continuous on and off pulse with an arc to make it more interesting. The circle defines existence. There’s no beginning nor end. It’s a continuous loop of coming and going. What happens when you tire of the ceaseless coming and going? There is harmony between the circuitous body of the feminine serpent that creates the playground for the masculine jaguar. Without one another, the construct falls apart. One supplies the energy needed for the other to create form. A positive charge and a negative charge that become inactive without each other. There is a natural magnetism between the two that results in energetic form. Is that where ultimately all desire comes from? Is desire the principle of magnetic force and the trick is to draw you in closer to the field of attraction? Is our desire a smaller and nuanced derivative of magnetism? Do hypnosis and spells fall into this paradigm as well?

The dark side of the feminine is energy used in order to manipulate events to be in their favour. Seduction is the main method of enabling the results they desire. A great deal of women do realize this at some point in their coming of age and by being able to take full advantage of this power, they get what they want. Masculine energy seems predestined to fall for the gambit and appears helpless in falling into the trap. They become entranced by the desire for the shiny object and chase the excitation. As with all things, the desire and hypnosis of the moment will pass and then you are left with now what? Eros pulled off another great game! There’s the feeling engendered and enforced by culture that you owe the other person due to the irrational result of the chase. It’s pretty onerous, yet the activity continues as the chase and desire are too strong for the human to control. It works both ways. The feminine is validated by being wanted and the masculine by collecting the object. And on and on it goes. The exciter and attractor of untapped energy.

The master teacher lays this bare on the road towards liberation. The only way you will see it is through experience and taking off the rose-coloured glasses. Fear is what ultimately drives this behaviour as it involves a need to feel safe and secure as well as a need for cultural validation. Contractual bondage due to external pressure fueled by an irrational decision as the result of desire. If you mix in sexual thrills with desire fulfillment then you have the recipe for a great game. It’s pretty clear sexual desire is the magic ingredient to elevate any fetish or rash decision to pathological extremes. The dark web is a catalog of validation for this assertion. Furthermore, marriage is definitively the pathological outcome of desire. Sometimes, I make myself laugh! To be fair, it's an exemplary human construct ideal for creating familiar bonds that are quite extraordinary.

So, am I cautioning entering into or even denouncing relationships? Well no, they're what keeps the circle formed, the world spinning, and engendering a new generation of players of this great game. Whether any player will stop and take a look inward at the guts of this behaviour is fascinating in itself. Ultimately, an all-encompassing point is being ascertained, experimented with, or proven and it is what is stronger? Desire or wanting to be liberated? Desire is the supreme test in the master course; realizing this and wanting to successfully complete the master's degree means coming to terms with its machinations and effects. Temporary liberation gives you a pretty good realization of what it is like to be free while in opposition you see how people are all lit up by desire, which gives them the impetus to move forward in life. The root cause of a lot of suffering involves desire in that a loss of desire leads to depression while not getting what you desire leads to frustration and a feeling of failure. Desire leads to multiple attachments, which will weigh you down. Even family structures are engendered by desire and though familial relationships transcend base desire they still have as their foundation the construct of desire. As I mentioned above, humans do have the capacity to transform behaviours into exemplary social constructs, though the failure rate remains high.

What I think I’m getting at is this: Desire leads to being imprisoned in a jail cell of your own making, often wondering how you got there. Liberation is freeing yourself from these attachments and acting as independently as possible, recognizing the differences between wants and desires. We all got to eat, right? Being conscious of these polarities tempers expectations in that you will never reach the pinnacle of liberation until death nor will you fully sink into your desires without destroying yourself which curiously leads towards liberation through death. So, life’s path stops at the door of liberation. Do we take the path towards liberation now or do we wait until the full stop of death?

Desire is not something to defeat in this go around on the wheel. The class is about mastery. Take the blows but steady the course and remain in charge. Once in charge, the teacher will also tell you to give that up. The path towards liberation leads to the final power boss. The other side of power is liberation and cultivating freedom within one’s life leads towards never being subject to power, chasing it, or being dominated by it ever again. Strength in liberation eclipses power.