addiction

I'm addicted to writing.
I'm addicted to writing about how I'm not addicted to anything.
I'm addicted to the idea of being addicted though I stay vigilant against addiction.

The way addiction will work is you associate the feeling with the perceived cause.
What about Mary Jayne in terms of addiction?
You mean associating altered mind states with her?
Yes.
It's definitely possible.
I have a relationship with Tobacco as well.
There are different catalysts to mind states.
For example, on Wednesday I plan to take a day off from hanging out with MJ.
The renewal is always good for the relationship.
Distance increases attraction.
Togetherness leads to feelings of separation.
That's very wise.
I'm a wizard.
When you are with someone eventually you long to get away from them.
Tobacco will bring you to a novel mind state.
So, will lust.
You can generate lust without MJ.
It's more fun with her.
Do you have different catalysts of mind states, so you are not dependent on MJ?
Yes, I have a bunch, and I combine them with MJ.
Music changes mood and so does eating.

Today, the sirens have turned into some kind of mind disrupter.
Weird sound.
It's a warning about the crossing of the threshold.
I'm a little out there I admit.
The sirens are distant, so it's all good.
A different dose of MJ and a different sound.
I'll start reducing the dose of MJ tomorrow.
I have hung out here for four days.
It's like a camping trip.
It's like a cycle of work with Ayahuasca where after four ceremonies it's diminishing returns as it takes you to the edge.
It can be dangerous.

The winds of your mind are fired up.
There goes a branch coming down across the river.
Sirens, then wind.
Don't listen to those sirens, Odysseus, or they will send you crashing into the rocks.
I hear them but don't follow.
It's an addiction.
Sirens are denoting addiction.
You hear them in the distance.
Got it.
Don't go towards them.
It's a different way to warn you about addiction.
Homer issued his warning.
Lotus eaters.
Temptresses.
Seducers.
Circe and her magic.
Do you think Homer was warning about the perils of drugs?
He compared them to women and wrote an epic.
Was Homer a user?
Clearly, he couldn't break the addiction, however he wrote a warning.
Odysseus was the hero who could break the addiction.
Do you think it was opium?
I think the drugs were narcotics and he got trapped in an adventure of the mind for quite a while.
Finally, he broke free.
Homer's position would be the Greek civilization was reality, and drugs were an escape or casting a veil over the world.

The four rocks of your mind are accessed through MJ.
Without her, they are lessened.
To get back to ego dissolution, you need MJ.
If you remain in that state, you are addicted.
That's how it would work.
You want to stay in that state or the opposite where you are trapped in the ego if you are addicted.
No MJ and you are addicted to this world and the superego.
You must juggle the two.
Picking one is hypnosis.
This could be a way to get me hooked on MJ.
It is.
However, you know how to play and not get hypnotized.
Trust.
Do your teachers lie?
They tell half-truths.
No, half true stories.
There's a difference.
The lessons are all on the up and up.

The sirens in the city would drive an addict mad.
They'd need the drug to get rid of the sirens.
That's how they work.
They call to you and sometimes it's so loud you must give in.
Addicts move to a quiet place where they can't hear the sirens.
The bad drugs are sirenas and sirenos.
Got it.
That's a good reveal.
I'm always being taught.
Yes, just stay open to being taught by the smallest things.

If you are addicted to the ego state, shouldn't you hear sirens?
Yes, when the ego's hypnosis is threatened you should hear sirens.
You must discern between the sirens.
Right, the ringing in my head is related to coming back down into the ego mind.
You got it.

When you see you can't be hypnotized despite the repeated attempts, it becomes a game.
Hypnosis is the basis for all games.
In the forest a big predator will take down a small prey.
That's a game of strength.
In the human game of predator and prey, the victor must be more cunning.
They win the mind game and convince you that you are prey.
The way in is to hypnotize you and plant that idea in your head.
They'll soften you up first with a couple jabs before the final uppercut.
Since you know you are the apex mind predator, you don't need to participate in their game.
You make it your game and play along with them.
Your idea of a great game is a game that lasts a long time.
Yes, keep the game going and all parties interested.
You must let them win a few.
Well, yes, that's how you suck them into playing.
You let them win a few and they think they got this in the bag.
You feed them what they want.
Mr. Green, the ego in the movie Revolver, wanted to win.
They let him.
Then they took everything away.
In the end Mr. Green let go of Mr. Green.
Did he?
I don't know, why don't you finish watching the movie?

One day you see the magic is in the balance.
Reconciliation of the opposites.
Akhet.
You go far into the labyrinth to pull that one out of the recesses of your mind and then head back out.
If you linger, you'll get lost forever in your mind and have to pull an Odysseus to get the fuck back out.
Homer detailed how Odysseus did it.
You, a lonely pilgrim, well, I wish you luck.

I'm guessing the majority of MJ users want to be stoned.
They want to empty their minds and check out.
They know the hypnotizing dose to get them there.
You need variety to avoid that outcome.
Most don't fight it.

What do you think the planes are surveilling?
Signs of hypnosis.
They work for the scientists.
They keep an eye on you and keep you grounded.
Sirens are from the scientists as well.
Warnings.
Why did Odysseus plug his ears?
Detox, breaking the addiction.
I think he was tied to the mast and the ear plugs were for the crew.
Right.
Odysseus heard the siren call and could see what they were doing.
He broke through the addiction.
Odysseus had Penelope to come home to, so he didn't destroy himself.
It's why a man needs a woman.
They prevent you from destroying yourself.
You build them a house to get them to stay.

You are getting tired of the stories, aren't you?
I'm feeling some resistance.
Good, then you take tomorrow off.
It's the flow.
That means I'm playing this correctly.
Unless you take too much time off from the stories, then you get to nothing and are hypnotized.
So, you are saying don't go all in on Tao?
Yes, if you went all in, you'd disappear.
It's the same as blowing up.
All in on Tao is an extreme.
I thought it was balance?
Yes, therefore you can't go all in on Tao.
Practicing perfect Tao isn't Tao.
Tao teaches you to do nothing when you don't know what to do.
If you do know what to do, then do it.
Since everything defaults to Tao that's the reason you do nothing, however when it's obvious what to do, you do that.

I think we got to the root of addiction concerning you today.
What are the findings?
Substances don't addict you as you can navigate the intoxication.
Resistance to MJ is a good thing.
With addiction you mindlessly take her.
I'll trust you on this.
I've got no other choice if I wish to continue.

Ithaca is where Odysseus is King.
It is his world; his ego is large.
He goes on an adventure of the mind to see who he really is and encounters many obstacles in his mind which prevent him from returning home.
Home pulls man back into the ego and his societal responsibilities.
The superego demands man raise a family and produce heirs.
What calls a man away from his family is adventure mixed in with dangerous witches.
While he is living in his fantasy world, the family calls him back and he longs to return to Ithaca.
It's a necessary call to ensure you don't get lost at sea; sea being in your mind.
The call to adventure once again allows the man to throw off the chains of civilization.
War wrecks civilization.
Sirens call him away from the family.
There's a push and pull necessary in great men's lives to maintain balance.
Without either of these impulses, he is no longer a man.
This impulse runs through the heart of all men.
What to choose?
Do I return to fitting into what society expects of me and go back to sleep?
That was Odysseus' journey and is the expectation for all men.
Well, first is to not go on the adventure.
If you do go on the adventure the pull of society will take you back home to your family responsibilities.
I try to balance them both.
I am the master juggler after all.
What if you get to the point where you have to choose one?
I juggle both.
Eventually, you lose one or the other.
Don't you wait until then?
Until one piece stops playing?
Yes.
Then you don't make a choice.
You are just buying time to keep the juggle going.
So, you are saying the wrong choice is to make a choice.
It lines up with what you know.
You're doing what you know right now.
You're not making a choice.
What if I'm faced with a choice?
Then you lose a choice.
Making a choice is a loss in the win-loss department.
Nobody wins a choice, instead you lose a choice.
You'd have to balance the choice out with a win.
Family or adventure and witches.
Ego or who you are.
Ego isn't your story.
Your story has adventure and witches.
Yes, I see that however if I buy into that story 100% it will be my downfall.
Making a choice is your downfall.
So, what do you do?
You trust in your story.
What's my story?
What do you think it is?
I think it's where I never made a choice.
I don't know where that leads.
No, you don't but it's your story.

Odysseus' crew prevented him from returning home.
One by one they are eliminated.
The crew becomes only Odysseus and thus he is one again.
The ego king Odysseus.

What is behind the designation of a hard drug?
A hard drug is addictive and will try to destroy your mind.
It's a challenge.
They are inviting to a human who is full of hubris.
They think their mind is so strong they can handle anything.
They are the ones who go around telling you MJ isn't addictive.
They can give it up.
They are in control.
They can move on to a bigger challenge.
You are describing gateway drugs.
Yes, it's true.
The curious are looking for a bigger challenge.
The most common addiction is nicotine.
Alcohol has the highest addiction rate.
MJ is tops for illegal drug consumption.
The hard drugs are cocaine, opioids, and amphetamines.
Have you tried those?
Coca leaf.
Codeine opioids for pain relief but not a big dose.
Amphetamines in Peruvian San Pedro cactus decoctions I have drank which contain mescaline.
I'm not attracted to any of those.
I have a good idea of what they would do to me, and I already spend enough of my time writing.
I don't need to write more.
How do you feel about MJ?
The literature says it produces feelings of euphoria and sedation which I think mean bliss.
Is that your experience?
No.
My experience is a steroid for my mind which causes me to write voluminous amounts.
I can't imagine being high on MJ all day.
I like to go out of my mind once a day and take a walk in the forest.
That's enough for me.
What about Tobacco?
The shamans of the Amazon basin and Andes mountains say Tobacco is the master plant.
What do they mean by that?
A bunch of things, primarily power and protection.
What do they mean by power?
A relationship with Tobacco is a friendship.
Tobacco can give power to weaker plants that you ingest.
Tobacco will enhance your personal power.
Tobacco will protect you.
How can you prove this?
You can't.
Above all, there is friendship and trust with Tobacco.
If you can't understand this, he will be your demise.

Drugs aren't what they tell you drugs are.
Who are they?
Society.
I thought drugs make you feel good.
They can.
The numbing ones, especially if you are high strung.
The narcotics will make you relaxed to the point of not caring.
I am already relaxed and don't really care.
I have never taken things too seriously.
In my experience, drugs are a game.
They are mental challenges.
They can stone you.
That's like taking a loss.
Where do you stand?
Mary Jayne and Tobacco are my drugs of choice.
There are stigmas attached to the idea of drugs but I'm okay with it and I'm not hesitant to call my allies drugs.
They are my friends.
Aren't you deluded?
That's always a possibility, and that's how you navigate the space.
Through delusion and fear of addiction, you can sidestep the destructive aspects of drugs.
Have you ever been addicted to something?
Yes, I know the feeling.
Alcohol, sugar, caffeine, writing, and some women.
Addiction is a loss of power.
You lose control over your behaviour.
I kicked all my addictions.
Well, except for writing.
There's no way out of that one.
Yes, it's all very sinister where it was an evil plan all along to get me addicted to writing.
That way the master writer could offload his duties onto me and live my life.
Yes, it is written.
If you are going to pick an addiction, this is the one.
Why?
It's divine.

Hey Dion, what's up with the human fascination with gold?

Power.

Gold is a visual display of your status and power.

It shows others who you are and how you should be treated.

If you have a lot of gold, you will be treated like royalty.

Don't you find it strange?

Yes, just like you asking yourself questions.

Well, you are my chat box.

Instead of finding it strange, you can examine the human fascination with gold and discover many insights about your fellow humans.

The psychological expression is out in the open to be examined.

Humans are attracted to power and wealth.

We equate power and wealth with something beautiful and shiny.

The ancient Egyptians equated it with goddesses, gods, and immortality.

I guess we think we can buy a ticket to eternity with enough gold.

Well, you would need to transform yourself into gold.

How would you do that?

That's an internal alchemical process.

You'd shine.

I see.

What are you fascinated with?

I like numbers.

Yeah, but they will tire you out.

I like writing.

It's a burden after a while.

Does anything light you up permanently?

Not that I can think of.

I will indulge my desires and let them go.

They return.

I think you are getting me to see what gold is.

Yes.

What is it?

It's a hypnotic.

You can see how the process works.

You are seduced and can't let it go.

Addicted.

Gold shows you how addiction works and it's the one thing that gets all humans.

Power.

Greed.

Status.

Wealth.

All highly addictive concepts that are symbolized by gold.

Gold is the litmus test regarding addiction.

If you can let go of what it is you desire, it will return.

I know that.

If you desire eternal life, let go of life.

Yes, that's the lesson you gave me on a boat on the Amazon river when I was high on Huachuma.

You told me to kill myself in order to live.

It was 5 years ago that I got that advice and it's one of the most profound things I've ever heard, and the meaning has slowly and constantly been revealing itself.

Let go of my small ball life.

Let go of the hold I have on my character of Paul.

Give up my attachments to stories that hold me back.

Understand the cyclical nature of being; therefore, to get what you desire is to let it go.

If you hang on to something you will lose it.

Addiction will be your downfall, and you will lose everything by clinging to it.

If you give it away, it comes back.

This is Dion's time.

Yes, mine expired in February of 2024.

You gave the keys to Dion, and he took control.

That's the reason for the crazy summer of 2024.

My body had to adapt to the new driver.

You can see the result.

Well, I shouldn't be here, so I can let go of the past.

This isn't you.

It isn't.

It is but isn't.

It's still me.

I'm more my subconscious than the one you remember from most of my life.

I'm still the same.

Dion can see what others are up to.

Yeah, that's funny.

Paul was oblivious.

That was his magic.

He didn't see what others were doing and so he sailed through life.

You killed yourself in order to live.

I did.

If I hadn't, I'd be dead.

You had to kill off Paul in order to continue to live.

Yeah, Dion gave me the advice and I had to figure out a way.

Paul's now the writer in the background.

Pretty funny, eh?

Yeah.

You can see it.

I lost what kept Paul around.

There was nothing left for Paul, was there?

No.

I was done.

I felt it one night.

You could have ran screaming and fought to keep Paul around.

I let him go.

Dion took over.

It was funny watching him last summer.

People thought I had gone crazy.

Your dad couldn't figure out if it was still you.

This is fascinating.

Your greatest strength as Paul is you were oblivious to it all going down.

Now in the distance, you see it clearly.

You are marveling at it.

It would have been scary to understand the transformation as it was happening.

Paul was dying.

You had to give him up.

You did.

The best strategy for the stock market and investing in general is to do nothing.

The power to do nothing.

Financial advisors teach you that you must do something and profit off of you not knowing what to do.

It's a fool.

It takes a lot of willpower to do nothing because the pressure is constant to do something.

Doing something is your downfall.

Doing nothing will garner the best results.

Money managers are worked to the bone because they must do something to accrue gains for their clients.

They work hard and are financially rewarded.

I have found over a lifetime that the best strategy is to let others do all the work and to do nothing.

It's good advice that encompasses all aspects of life.

What about a relationship hedge because you know by experience and observation that all sexual relationships will eventually become stale.

The heady days of attraction will become repulsion.

How do you guard against that?

It's the flow.

How do you prevent it?

You want to prevent the flow?

Yes.

You shouldn't do that.

I think you can.

How?

By doing something.

What do you do?

The extreme opposite.

You sever the relationship when it is still full of attraction.

The result is you maintain a connection because you never let it die out.

That is kind of brilliant.

If you let the attraction run its course and then do something, it's the end.

Think about that.

Okay, so doing nothing followed by doing something when there is nothing left to do is not ideal.

Yes, you do nothing when there is something to do.

When there is nothing to do you can't do nothing.

Why?

You'll expire.

When there is nothing to do, you do something.

I think you are teaching me the lesson of contrarianism.

Well, you have always known it is best to be a contrarian.

Whatever the herd is doing, you should go in the opposite direction.

You need a lot of trust and resolve to do that.

You have proved yourself over and over again in your life.

You are a testament to living with the benefits of the herd and yet not following along.

There are many benefits to society.

The herd.

Yeah, it makes life comfortable.

Don't get stuck in it.

Conformity?

Yes.

You taught me the best time to do something is when things are going great.

You do the opposite.

That goes against what you are feeling.

Precisely.

You wanted a way to keep the game going.

What was the game?

Attraction.

You wanted to know how to remain attracted to the Great Goddess and not be subject to the constant cycle of divorce and reconciliation.

To put it in layman's terms, how to hack the cycle.

The cycle will always be there.

The way to minimize the effects is to separate when there is still attraction.

This way it will be easier to reunite.

That's brilliant.

It's hard to do.

Why would you leave the Goddess when things are going well?

You wouldn't.

If you want to break the long cycle, then you must do it.

Well, shit, eh?

What about life?

What are you doing now about life?

Nothing.

What will happen if you continue to do nothing?

It will work out.

Yes.

What happens at the end of life?

Your body dies.

Should I do something before that happens?

You mean end bodily existence before there is nothing to do?

Yeah.

Do you want to continue in this body?

No.

I'd like to trade it in.

Then do nothing and it will happen.

If you want to keep this body, then do something now.

Ah.

So, it's okay to do nothing?

If it works for you and you are comfortable with the result, then yes.

If you want to be separated from the Great Goddess for a long time, then let the attraction play out and then disintegrate.

I think that's what we have been doing.

Does it work?

No.

It took me a lifetime to find her again.

The answer is to find her, reestablish the attraction, and then leave.

Get back with her and then separate.

You do it in this lifetime.

You keep the long cycle of life and practice coming and going with her.

Yes, but when I'm with her, I want to drink it all in.

You can't because you will empty the chalice.

Don't empty the chalice.

She will always try to devour you.

She's a monster who is greedy.

You like to remind me of that.

Yes.

It's the attraction that keeps you returning.

You like to play with her danger.

You get your thrill and then escape.

What if she succeeds in devouring me?

She is satiated and doesn't need you.

As long as you are around, she will want you.

Don't get complacent with that woman.

Was I getting addicted to the stock market?

Yes, that's how you make it go crazy.

Like a rollercoaster.

It was an intense love affair that crashed.

Give it some space.

Got it.

So, my thoughts are writing part of the story.

Yes.

I can't help it.

No.

You're a writer.

Just be mindful of your thoughts.

Do you think there are avatars of addiction?

Like when you go over the edge of addiction?

Yeah.

The addiction materializes in your life.

That's interesting to ponder.

Your mind creates an alternate reality.

Yes.

You couldn't hold down a job.

Good point.

You'd disappear to go see her.

The addiction?

Yeah.

Right.

You'd disappear in the afternoon with MJ.

I did.

I juggled it all.

I juggled the addictive qualities of what I was flirting with.

It didn't sink me.

It made me stronger.

You're not wrong.

She is the idea of addiction.

She plays the role.

You're the victim.

Ha.

What was I to her?

A mirror.

How?

To see how much of a monster she is.

You wanted to flirt with addiction, and she wanted to let go of her monster.

Seems like a good match.

I know you can stop Tobacco whenever you want.

What does that mean?

You flirt with addiction, but it can't beat you.

That's the alternate reality you play in with addiction.

The mind is amazing.

Yes, you see it now.

You lose touch with this reality and enter into a different reality.

Women can be addictions.

They feed you what you want.

You came to her.

She fed you what you wanted.

She saw she wasn't going to beat you.

She knew you could handle her.

She left.

You beat addiction.

You are as strong as you say you are.

How do you beat addiction?

You believe you can't get addicted.

Right.

That's a trap though.

Yes.

Your hubris will be your downfall.

You think you can beat addiction, so you try harder drugs.

That's clever.

An addicts way out of their addiction is to take your power.

It feeds their addiction.

Drugs turn you into a monster.

Got it.

Stay away from drugs.

Yes sir.

What about MJ?

She's fine.

Tobacco?

Protection.

I think you know enough about the others now.

I'm a good study.

That's the story.

You returned to this reality.

You then went off with MJ.

That's a ride.

Yes, people downplay it and think it's mild.

She is a good player.

What did you learn?

Different and altered realities.

You enter into another story.

People know you are different.

Waiting within is the only teacher you need.

To get to the inner sanctum is quite the journey.

The weak and greedy are turned away.

Once found, you will never lose the path to get to their school.

trust

You know to trust Dionysos.

That's the magic.

It will end when you don't trust him anymore.

Now you know he will get you out of anything.

If you try to change it and do something yourself to alter the outcome, then that means you lose trust, and it will end.

So, is this agreement based on trust and sacrifice?

Yes.

That's our friendship.

So, do you trust me?

Yes, you always make good decisions.

They are not always so great off the start, but they work out.

So, you realize I do make choices.

Yes, it's 50-50 on the doing part.

You just know that if you leave things alone, they work out because of me.

I know that when you make choices you are following your story.

You know to stay away from the witches.

Well, not all of them.

You can play with a couple.

Pick your poison.

Don't overdo the witches and you will be good.

Okay, thanks.

I suffered for it.

It could have been worse.

Catastrophic crumbling down of everything.

You still trusted me after that.

Yes, I did.

In Dionysos we trust.

Dionysos saved you, you know.

You can trust him.

You faced him, didn't run away, and brought him into your world.

He wanted to do that for you.

He will grant you what you desire.

That I know and I'm smart enough to stay true to my original story.

I chase the Goddess, and let the chips fall where they may.

My story is that I chased her.

The result of the chase I leave for mystery and adventure.

What is next?

The highest form of uselessness and nonsense is masturbation.

You can use male sperm to create life and instead you ejaculate into nothing by yourself.

It's an extreme form of uselessness which becomes pleasure.

That's why it feels better to masturbate when you know about the relationship between pleasure and being useless.

Masturbation beats intercourse when you know.

Especially if you can spice it up.

Everything needs some spice.

The problem is when you act on your masturbation fantasies it becomes an unknown story that plays out.

Just do it by yourself and think of things to do.

Today's lessons were about when you know you are going to die and masturbation.

Those are two important things to consider.

Masturbation represents the ultimate form of nonsense.

The question of when it's time to go answers what you have for a belief system.

Belief is the most important thing you can consider.

Your belief system is that life will continue.

You were challenged that if you are so sure of that, why don't you kill yourself?

That makes your beliefs 100%.

Never go all in.

I know there's trust in this world.

All returns to the flow and balance if you let it be.

There's no truth, there's trust.

I know this world must be balanced.

I know the rest of my life is devoted to not caring.

I found meaning.

I found the ultimate question.

I found Tao.

I learned to trust.

I learned the truth doesn't exist.

I saw how belief shapes your world.

I found the true question.

The answer is to not care.

By not caring you will love unconditionally.

That will take you home.

You walk the path of the heart home.

The path of the heart will teach you to love unconditionally.

You will return home when you practice it.

Where is home?

You visit different homes.

The cliché is home is where the heart is.

It's cliché for a reason.

You wrote a story about nonsense which leads back to unconditional love and the heart.

Yeah, pretty good, eh?

I'd say so.

I don't how you did it.

Magic?

If Mary Jayne didn't wear off, then you would be in your personal darkness forever.

The only problem with that is sometimes it's the Goddess coming through MJ and not always the darkness.

If your darkness took over, but you still spent time with MJ, then the Goddess would appear.

She's the one who keeps you sane.

What you must do is create a three-way balance.

You need MJ, so you remember what it's like to go in and out of your two consciousnesses.

Without her, you get stuck in one.

For the most part yes, but I can notice now when they go back and forth.

I know if my darkness has been present.

I don't always know in the moment because he's the same as me.

Who are you?

Exactly.

MJ will remind you of your darkness.

Without her, you will lose the ability to recognize him.

That's how it was most of my life.

I didn't notice him.

Now, you notice him, especially with MJ.

You know what he's up to.

Without MJ you would realize he's trying to take over and you don't see it.

With MJ, you see that he's trying to take over, however it's a foregone conclusion he will because the flow goes from light to dark.

Your task is to optimize this for as long as you have a body, and you will need his skills when you leave your body because you know you'll be useless without him in charge.

You need his black magic when you leave the body.

That's rebirth.

You need white magic when you're in the body.

You get ahead with light, and you reserve the darkness for when you don't have a body.

There's an art form to this.

You'd have to figure out when you are going to pass and the amount of darkness you will need when that happens.

It's ascending now.

The darkness is heading to the light.

So, what is the best time?

When the two are balanced.

You see when the darkness is ascending, and the light is going dark.

The ancient Egyptians were showing you this.

Haremakhet.

That is a clue you need.

Roles will flip so your light becomes dark.

Dark becomes light in the morning.

That's when you change characters.

In the Akhet.

Become the dark as you head into the night and the light at the dawn.

Transformation.

The darkness got tired of the light and the light got tired of being darkness.

They switch it up.

That's what happens after they balance.

Good Paul becomes bad Paul.

Bad Paul becomes good Paul.

You must have trust to give the keys to bad Paul because after the fifty-fifty mark he will become good.

That's a tricky story and decision.

You must trust you can give the keys to the bad guy.

Isn't this an elaborate ruse to get the keys from you?

It seems that way.

I guess you must figure out what it is.

By that I mean is this the main story or is this a trick?

Well, why don't you run through the outcomes?

If you don't give the keys to your darkness what will happen?

He will become stronger and unmanageable because you don't give him freedom.

Freedom to him is to have the keys.

If you give him the keys, the trust will make it so he will not harm you.

To give him the keys is a supreme act of trust between the two of you.

We are both fools.

It always gets to this point.

So, is this another game that I'm playing in addition to all the other games?

Yes, you're playing a game of trust with yourself.

I get the feeling I've never won that game.

Why do you think you've never won that game?

Because I didn't trust.

If I had trusted him, I would have won that game, and it would no longer be a game.

Unless it's my first time playing it.

Do you think this is your first time playing the game?

No, because if it was, I don't think I would see pyramids.

The pyramid lets me know I played the game before.

If I've played the game before, chances are I didn't win.

The reason I didn't win is I didn't trust my other half.

However, he showed me he is trustworthy because he gets me out of messes.

Houdini level.

Gave me a get out of jail free card as well.

And my freedom.

He did all that for me, so I would trust him.

In previous games, he would have done acts so that I would trust him.

I would have decided not to give him the keys.

I wouldn't have trusted him and then I would have lost the challenge.

If I had given him the keys, I would show trust.

A while ago I had a lesson about trust.

Of course, I forgot it.

I always forget it.

This time I wrote it down, so I can go read the lesson on trust.

I think it has something to do with beliefs and that trust is something divine.

Imagine in previous lifetimes, you forgot the lesson on trust that would help you make your decision because you were absent for the lesson on trust and you ended up not trusting your darkness, therefore you lost the game.

What happens if I trust the darkness?

It becomes the light.

The sun shows you the answer every day.

Did sun worshippers ingest a lot of cannabis?

What's the worst that could happen to you?

I'd become a fool.

I think you're on your way.

Yes, I see that.

I'm worried the darkness would end me and cause problems.

So far, he has solved all the problems.

You cause problems.

This is true.

I take responsibility.

Dion got me out of it.

You were onto the darkness game, so others told you to stop talking about your darkness.

They want to figure out the answer to that puzzle and here you come along and you're going to figure It out.

Yeah, but you know what, I'll never be 100% certain.

I'll never go all in on it, and I will still have doubts.

It must be that way because I must trust.

Trust is teaching you to not go to the extremes.

You don't want total knowledge, and you don't want total stupidity.

You want to have some trust in the world and your knowledge is not 100% that my darkness will behave.

He's not going to behave.

You know what I mean.

If I know I made the right decision, then you know it's game over.

You don't have to continue playing.

You're saying, as long as there's trust, then you know the game can continue on.

Yes, when trust is gone in the story, then the story will end.

Trust is what keeps the story going.

If you know they will live happily ever after, then trust disappears.

In the ritual I did my best until the end and it didn't work out.

That's fine.

Why does it have to work out?

I'm a perfectionist.

So you're saying you don't have trust?

Yeah, okay, I get it.

Nice one.

That was the trusting ritual.

Your other half does seem foreign.

Of course, he was buried for so long.

That's why the Greeks call Dionysos the foreigner.

He came from afar and they didn't recognize him.

He's always been there.

You just didn't see him.

So, who hypnotizes who?

I think the hypnosis was agreed upon.

Dionysos didn't want to be seen.

Apollo wanted to be seen.

As I got older, I wanted Dionysos to return.

Apollo is at the Temple of Delphi while the light is in ascension and Dionysos returns when it goes dark.

The ancient Egyptians demonstrated the same thing with Horus and Set.

The thing is I always knew the other.

I never gave him a name, but I knew he was there.

He doesn't really come from afar.

He's not a stranger.

People assume he is, or they call him worse.

It's your other side.

I was kind to my darkness and gave him what he wanted.

Yeah, but then you went down to the Amazon jungle to out him and get rid of him.

Yeah, that's true, so who's the bad guy?

I am probably the bad guy.

He's not the bad guy.

He's just a fun loving guy.

He transcends morals.

The bad guy wants to keep him locked up.

I get the comparison.

I see how that increases trust knowing that the light Is just as bad as the darkness.

They are bad in different ways, just like they are good in different ways.

I think this ties in to judgment and morals.

Yeah, it feels like both would need to look in the mirror.

We know the darkness is bad.

We pretend the light is good.

Censorship and surveillance can be both dark and light.

The test is to scare you, and you passed.

MJ gives you clarity.

You see who you are.

It's a gift.

You are gifted.

You let it be.

If you fight it, then you lose because you don't have trust.

You pass the test and forge steel.

It's a partnership, dumb ass.

Do you like the new you?

Yes.

Your mind will try to plant the suggestion that your darkness is external.

That gives you doubt.

A little doubt forces you to trust.

What if you took the opposite approach and externalized who you have been your whole life?

There is truth to that because who you think you are is influenced by others and society.

Within your subconscious is something that hasn't been influenced by others.

In a way, it's purer.

It's more you because it hasn't been influenced by external forces.

Instead, it has been suppressed.

Your darkness can't be controlled, so it is suppressed, jailed, or caged.

Your light is allowed to shine because it has been programmed by society.

Stop suppressing and deprogram.

When you find balance, that is who you are.

If you are good, you can maintain that balance for a while.

Be the master juggler.

Trust your skills as a juggler.

I passed the lesson, right?

You didn't get scared, and you let it be.

You can become who you are.

Half light and half dark.

If you were fighting to maintain control, you would have run from this lesson.

That's how you pass.

You don't run.

Sophia brings wisdom.

Sophia is what I'd call plant medicine.

I know what you're saying.

You have come to realize this is what the ancients were talking about when you connected with Sophia.

She brings clarity.

She challenges you with stories and makes you do the work to validate them.

Poor you.

I know.

I'm still here.

I'm fine.

It's those who I have surrounded myself with who have suffered.

I experienced suffering by association.

I haven't directly suffered.

The toothache was bad.

True.

What is the lesson?

Life is nonsense, so you don't need to attend any classes.

Classes are something we invent to give meaning to the story and pass the time.

The story continues and the show must go on.

It sure seems that way.

A character exits the stage and the show goes on.

Is that the lesson?

Sure.

Did you learn anything?

Yes, it's not poor me.

It's poor for the characters whose stories ended.

Are they poor?

They get to rest in peace and take a break from the madness.

The madness is life.

Can you experience life without a body?

It's a different life.

It's all in the head.

You mean mind, head is part of the body.

Sure.

What if life is consciousness without a physical body?

Then anything is possible.

Magic is the norm.

Everyone is a magician in the afterlife.

Oh, so that's why you want to give the keys to the sorcerer before you pass.

They will get you through the madness of the afterlife.

Something like that.

So, is it all madness?

Yes, until the story ends.

Their madness keeps the drama going.

If you had no reason to incarnate, why would you do it?

You incarnate to escape the madness of being in your mind for eternity.

This life in a body gives you a break.

Take advantage of it while you can.

It's easy to distract yourself and get out of your head.

There will be plenty of time for that when you drop the body.

This feels like a lesson.

Having a body allows you to maintain a mind and body balance.

When the body goes, it's an extreme.

That's why we are attracted to incarnation.

We search for balance and the natural way is to incarnate again.

If you leave things alone, the cycle repeats.

Is this the lesson?

If you need a lesson, then yes, this is the lesson.

I think one day you decide you don't need to wear pants in public, so you end up thinking that's okay.

That's when you know you've crossed the line and you're crazy.

You can think those thoughts, but don't act on them.

The really crazy thoughts you don't act on.

Maybe a little bit to balance them.

The master juggler only acts upon the balanced thoughts.

That way he never loses a juggle.

The master juggler appears out of balance, so you look a bit like a clown, but you maintain balance.

Your appearance will mimic your state of balance.

When you let yourself go and stink, that's a sure sign you have something mental going on.

All good psychologists know that.

So, should I let it go?

Should I step up my grooming game?

The flow says to stay in the flow and let it go.

The fool in you says to do the opposite.

The flow would take you to extreme craziness.

The fool pushes you towards balance.

The fool is the master juggler because he knows how to get to a state of balance.

Tao is the flow, but you know from previous teachings that the flow takes you in and out of balance.

The juggler is the one who returns you to balance.

As you get crazier, you need to keep up appearances.

You let it go for a while.

I had to let go in order to go crazy.

Yes, so now that you got there, you must balance it out.

When the flow takes you to the extreme, you call on the fool to take you back to balance.

The flow would keep going if you didn't twist it back.

The fool tricks the flow into returning to balance.

Once he sees the flow returning to balance, he can stop playing the fool.

The fool is the juggler.

Without the juggler, the flow goes on forever and nothing happens.

The flow hypnotizes you.

The twist makes you see two.

It's twisted, so you can see two.

That's why the writer twists things.

Twisting things causes duality.

The universe is made of spirals.

The universe is twisted into duality.

Duality is non-duality that has been twisted by the writer.

Where did he come from and how could he twist the universe if he is in non-duality?

He had trust it would work.

He must have known it worked before.

Maybe, but there's always the first time.

At any rate, he needed to trust that twisting non-duality would work.

What would happen if it didn't work?

Everything would disappear.

There would be no non-duality or duality.

The story is about one who is three.

The writer trusted he could see the two.

To see the two, he twisted non-duality into duality.

He was the all and he saw the two.

I like that story.

Yeah, that's why we keep doing this.

That's why we keep telling this story and playing this game when you are high.

Oh, so it's just a story?

What have you learned about stories?

They are beliefs and it's all we have.

Our beliefs are based on trust.

Or a lack of trust.

If we don't believe someone, we don't trust them.

That's how the religious types hypnotize people.

They get them to believe.

Yes, and then they trust them.

Whatever they say it doesn't matter, they just trust them.

Jesus was born of a virgin and Noah's Ark.

Well, those are metaphors.

Some people believe that nonsense.

Nonsense is a high art form.

To wit the story of the universe.

Imagine how you could take advantage of someone if they believed everything you say?

What do you think religions do?

Oh, I knew that.

People believe you and will trust what you say.

They want to find a belief.

I do speak the truth.

Yeah, but it's kind of nuts.

Oh, I keep that to myself.

I know better.

Where did he come from?

Who?

The writer.

There's three great spirits and they take turns playing the three main characters in the drama.

There's the writer, the Goddess, and Eros.

Technically there are four great spirits.

Apollo, the light, is the fourth but he was nowhere to be found at the beginning of the story, so the writer had to invoke him to get this party started.

He summoned him and things started to happen.

So, the writer is one of the three great spirits who when together are non-dual.

In this story the all is composed of three great spirits.

You could change that number if you want.

I don't think you could make that number one.

If you did that you couldn't separate it into two.

It would always be one.

So, there's always two.

Yes, but you need three to make it believable.

The third principle is magic energy which brings everything to life.

I thought that was the light?

The light allows you to see what is going on.

The power to animate is separate.

So, what are the highest ideals in this world?

Number one is trust.

There's unconditional love where you love people you don't care about.

There is belief.

Nonsense.

Balance.

Flow.

They all work together.

Without magic energy the writer couldn't twist the flow.

You do not want absolute truth in this world.

That would make all the stories you tell in your head true.

Okay, you mean 100% truth in the world?

Yeah, where everything that happens in this world is 100% true from your stories.

You want balance.

That's basically half true stories and half false stories.

Yes, some of those stories are crazy.

How many are true?

The wisdom seems like true stories.

I think if I go back and read my writings for the day, I think it will be balanced even though it seems there are some far out stories.

I think those stories are needed to counteract the knowledge bombs I receive.

That would be my guess about how knowledge is balanced.

Tell some far out stories that are plausible which would balance out inner spiritual attainment.

Knowledge, understanding, and wisdom.

If you attain this level, you must balance it out.

That is part of the knowledge you have where you know what to do.

Twist and then do nothing.

plant teachers

My idea of plant medicines is the following:

There are chemicals in plants which expand awareness.

A human needs a method to extract the chemical from the plant.

The plants hold the key to your liberation.

The expanded awareness puts you in touch with what can be called spirits.

These spirits know a lot about you.

Who are they?

They are you.

You are everything and they are you.

I'm a man and the masculine I come across in altered consciousness are me.

It runs the gamut from dark to light.

Now, the feminine is trickier.

She does feel external.

I want to describe her as my soul mate.

Fundamentally, she is me as well, but I haven't reached total union with her.

I have achieved it briefly, but it always breaks apart.

A big part of my journey has been the search, the union, and the subsequent separation.

This is where I am.

What is alcohol doing to you?

The initial change in perception makes you happy.

It's the way in for how the drug works.

You call them drugs, but they are spirits.

The way spirits work their way in is through changing your perception.

You feel good and let them in.

They get into your head and addict you.

They addict you by making it so you don't feel right without them.

Now, some of the spirits are accurately called plant teachers.

The mechanics of getting into your head are the same.

A gentle plant spirit will use the feel-good allure.

The strong plant medicines we classify as psychedelics, don't use addiction to get into your head.

They take a hammer and get in.

You can't get addicted to Ayahuasca unless you're crazy and you like being hit in the head with a hammer.

The drugs that are inviting because they feel good are addictive.

Yes, they don't addict you at first.

They keep inviting you to take them for pleasure.

You take them and eventually suffer.

So, to get back to alcohol, that's what alcohol does.

If you've never drank alcohol, the first time you drink alcohol you'll be repelled by the taste and feel sick.

That's how alcohol makes you feel.

You mentally ignore that aspect and concentrate on how it makes you feel looser and happier.

Each time you feel happy, you drink a little more.

Eventually, you drink a lot.

That's the key.

Alcohol is making you sicker with each drink.

Alcohol is a fool.

Big time.

With alcohol, if you could drink just one drink and recognize that you're no longer feeling its effects and still stop, then you won't get addicted.

Alternatively, you will notice when it requires more and more to get you to that place of happiness.

The toll on your body is enough for a lot of people to stop because it makes them feel like shit.

In order to feel happiness, the next day I feel like shit.

Alcohol is doing that to you.

It is a teacher.

It's teaching you the balance between happiness and feeling like shit.

If you ask for happiness, you will get a dose of shit.

You are better off not asking for the happiness vibration.

It's the teachings of Tao and doing nothing.

With alcohol, I feel more socially lubricated.

The next day you are more withdrawn.

Then you must drink alcohol to be around people.

That makes sense.

With Mary Jayne, I know she's a plant teacher and she's more on the up and up than alcohol.

Alcohol is giving you simple teachings.

Mary Jayne is giving you the lessons on the path of the heart course.

Those lessons don't become available to you until you reach a certain stage.

I'm a spiritual master.

Anyway, now that you have fellated yourself, we can continue.

She makes you happy and gives you next level teachings.

You want to be with her on the regular and you start playing with more.

What is the initial side effect?

The change in perception makes you off balance.

Some say crazy.

As you learn to balance her, you think you need to take more to get the same off balance effect.

That's what you're doing with alcohol.

You're taking the vibration of happiness and you're learning to balance it.

You want to feel that happy state again, so you drink more and that increases the vibration once again so you can feel it.

The cycle repeats, and you must drink more and more to nudge the vibration.

Eventually it gets out of control, and you kill yourself by drinking yourself to death.

The same process is at work with Mary Jayne.

You take her in, and you learn to balance her.

You learnt this week that you balance her to the point where when you're not with her you get the unsteady walk.

What everyone would do at this point is wanting Mary Jayne to give them what she was providing.

It could be happiness.

It could be bliss.

Being stoned.

For you it is her teachings, and the teachings cause a little bit of unease.

As the weeks went by you noticed you developed a tolerance for MJ.

That would mean you would try to up the dosage.

Everyone does it.

Yeah, I went from 5 mg, to 7.5 mg, to 10 mg.

I learned 7.5 gives me the teachings when I need a little boost.

5 is good in the sense that I feel like I can grasp the teachings.

With 7.5 they pour out faster.

I enjoy both.

I've learned 10 will take me beyond what I should be taking.

The scientist reflex in me made it so I wouldn't go there.

I knew to stay within 7.5.

I've done that and I have balanced out Mary Jayne.

The feeling of unease is still a little bit there, however it is miniscule.

What I mean is fear and darkness still come, but it's enjoyable.

When I walk with Mary Jayne, I feel balanced.

My mind feels balanced.

The change in perception I have become used to.

I see the allure in taking more, but I've already been there, and I know not to do that.

I will stay within these boundaries.

When you stay within the boundaries, she still teaches you.

You're not as dizzy and the unease becomes funny.

It's funny because of the darkness and fear you observe and write about.

Now, you're modulating doses within the high and low limits.

I see what you're doing, you're trying to create a vibration which goes off balance within a balanced parameter.

You got it.

Your wave is uneven within the balanced wave.

You make it unpredictable, and then your perception is always going to be changing.

A good student must constantly challenge themselves and change their perception.

If you can't change your perception, you get hardened in one position, and nobody can teach you anything.

It's how they work.

It works differently for everybody.

What works for you might not work for somebody else.

You would teach them the overview, but you wouldn't give them advice that they should take 5 mg on a Tuesday.

That's not going to work.

It's the natural thing for your body to find balance, so whenever you take a substance that makes you off balance, it's your body that's returning you to balance.

You ingest the plant spirit, your frequency is altered, and the body figures out how to balance that frequency.

The plant spirit changed your frequency and then you grow accustomed to that frequency.

Correct.

The change was always there, you weren't balanced and couldn't see it.

Now that you are balanced in the new frequency you know not to change it up past the balance.

Mary Jayne vibrating at this frequency is the best.

She likes to vibrate.

You know the sweet spot with her.

She figured you did.

That's why she left another for you.

She waited for you, and you came to her.

You know her sweet spot.

It's a love story.

If you know somebody's vibration, then that's their sweet spot.

At first, it's crazy, and you wonder what's wrong with them.

When you get used to their vibration, you can see them for who they are.

To add excitement, you vary the doses within the container and remain turned on by Mary Jayne.

If it was the same vibration all the time you wouldn't be turned on by her.

Holy shit.

This just rocketed my belief quotient in plant teachers.

You know how you believe a little bit, and then it becomes more and more accepted?

Eventually you realize despite your reservations magic is real, and there's something about these plant teachers.

I still think it's just my mind that's inventing this story.

Then I got the lesson today about hitting her sweet spot and I'm blown away.

Yeah, I know her sweet spot is her clit.

I'm not dumb.

That's how she knows when you hit her sweet spot.

You know Mary Jayne's sweet spot.

You can do no wrong.

Oh, I'm sure I will, and she will leave me.

Trying to be a good boy for once.

Alright, so you know-it-all dumb ass scientist who is addicted to MJ.

It's the sweet spot of MJ.

The addiction won't progress because you know where you're at.

The harm with addictions is taking more and more beyond healthy levels.

Is that why you tried to scare me earlier this week by changing addiction to poison?

Yeah, but I knew I wouldn't fool you.

You laughed.

To find the Goddess' sweet spot, I had to concentrate on her.

I couldn't have both the physical and the spiritual.

How good are you?

Can you now do the physical and mental Goddess challenge?

I charmed the spiritual Goddess and then got access to the physical.

I've taken the mental Goddess with me and no longer have the physical.

You got possessive and took the Goddess.

Mary Jayne is supposed to be shared.

I was seeking the Goddess.

I found her and I took her.

I possessed her.

Now, I see my mistake and I will give her back.

This is what you were teaching me.

Yeah, it's a story.

It goes with all your other fucking stories.

The sweet spot applies to the spiritual as well.

Don't go overboard.

Keep it fresh and new.

Don't blow it all up.

Just a little bit at a time.

Too much of you and you are possessive.

God is an asshole.

I see the connection.

Something to work on.

Why do you call them poisons?

It's because they're lethal.

Isn't everything?

I don't know about everything, maybe everything has the potential to be lethal.

Okay, so something has the potential, but it isn't poisoning you, it's teaching you, or it is a good relationship.

What is that?

That's medicine.

You already knew poison and medicine are the same thing.

It's a good way to look at everything in your life.

It can all be a poison or a medicine.

A lot depends on dosage.

Strength.

Intention.

If you take too much of something regardless of intention, it's going to be a poison.

If you take a medicinal dose with intention, then it's a teacher.

The resistance to MJ is before I take the edible.
After the outing there is no resistance.
That's good plant medicine.
The pressure to leave her invites both sides in, so you can juggle the two.
If there is no resistance, it might addict you.
People don't have resistance to alcohol.
They pour a drink and think nothing of it.
When MJ stones you it's because you light up without thinking.
How do I know I'm not deluding myself?
You always ask that question.
Okay, say you are deluding yourself.

There's no Mary Jayne and the drug is a steroid for your mind.

Where does that leave you?

I'm really smart then.

So, you're either being taught or you're naturally fucking smart.

What's the odds?

I am being taught.

Right, but you're smart.

Maybe it's both?

You would add to the knowledge you already have.

Where did the teachers get the knowledge?

They always had it.

It's their world.

Plants are the symbol that it's their world.

They were here before you.

flood

Flooding in the woods makes you reassess your path.

We like routine and the flooding takes us out of our routine.

That makes us uncomfortable.

We tend towards routine, which is hypnosis.

It's balance.

Balancing the two into one is our natural state which is Tao.

You can see the natural state will take you towards balance.

The resistance is how you get out of your hypnosis.

It is work to see the two.

Work is the adventure spirit and wanting to try new things.

It's difference, which is separation.

Difference allows you to see the two.

Remember, everything returns to one.

When the difference becomes too much, you go with the flow.

You're saying that adventure is not Tao?

That's fundamentally correct.

Isn't Tao an adventure?

The adventure is getting back to Tao.

Whitewater rafting.

You must go away from Tao in order to get back to it.

You wouldn't know you are in Tao unless you leave it.

You find out about Tao when you aren't in the flow.

If you are in the flow, it is bliss.

Not a care in the world.

The flooding in the forest is like a hurricane that blows through and today you see the cleanup.

Everything's heading back to Tao.

The water flows back into the river.

The river is the flow.

You want to hurry the process and get back to how it was.

If you have patience, it will return.

There could be some residual damage.

To find what you were looking for, you had to create a wave.

You brought the wave into your world.

They brought the wave into their world.

You both tried to assimilate the wave.

It was a square peg into a round hole problem.

The way out would have been to create a new wave and realize that's the balance within the two new waves.

There is a balance available.

You must find it.

A good student of Tao could balance anything and not be afraid of any challenge.

You would need patience to find the balance, but it is there.

Despite my reservations this knowledge seems like what you would walk the path to get.

Why did I get access to this knowledge?

What is so special about me?

It's what you wanted.

You walked a path which will get you what you want.

Everyone else who walks this path will take easy power.

You renunciate it.

At the same time, you say you are God.

That's how you do it.

You do not run from it.

You take it on.

It would be safe to predict that someone who tries to get to God will be fucked up.

Yes, because it's an extreme, so you'd have to have extreme amounts of light and extreme amounts of darkness.

Everyone who's tried will destroy themselves.

Or try to forget.

Alan Watts explained the evil inclination on the spiritual path as rascality.

That's how you know someone's on the path.

If they are all good, it ain't them.

What can I do?

You recognize it.

You know how to expel them both.

You know how to take in knowledge and expel lust.

You write down your knowledge and get excited by lustful possibilities.

That seems like a secret formula.

You are getting there.

You take in knowledge and out will come lust.

It's a cycle.

You always know when too much is too much.

That's how you get to God when you know there's too much pleasure or there's too much pain.

There's too much light.

There's too much dark.

To get to God you must head to the extreme and at the same time be a master juggler.

That's the only way you can do it.

There had to be that pleasure because you were about to get a lot of pain.

You built up a store of pleasure.

Yeah, that was fun.

And then came the pain.

Where are you now?

It feels like I'm balanced.

I feel the boredom creeping in.

Motivates.

Boredom?

Yeah, big time.

Exercise boredom or it will kill you.

I was pretty good with the ritual today.

You are tilted towards knowledge so it would be better.

Yeah, but rituals are kind of magical.

Knowledge would get in the way if there is too much thinking.

The best ritual is based on knowledge and magic.

The best magic sees a little light and it's not all dark.

It may start in the dark and then head to the light.

With white magic, it starts in the light because you do a good deed.

The longer it goes on, the more you start to take advantage of the magic and it gets darker.

The longer black magic goes on, the more you see it out in the open.

What do I do now?

You're just going to wander around smoking.

Literally.

You're in no man's land.

No one has got here.

I'm special.

Right.

You are so special.

That is the answer.

You're going to wander around smoking.

If you're looking for meaning in life, take a walk in the woods.

You will see that reproduction is the meaning.

You can connect it to the drive to reproduce, which for most species is sexual and fuelled by lust.

Civilizations or people who want to harness that power would look towards lustful acts for that power.

That lust is the life force.

Some would try to capture it.

You can try to capture it during a sexual exchange.

Women do this when they are trying to drain you of lust.

It's also the idea behind human sacrifice where they would build an element to try and capture that force and would want to store it.

They built pyramids for energy storage and believed the pyramid could store the life force.

They were using belief to capture the life force.

They must have had some success.

The orgy of death would definitely energize you if you weren't repulsed by it.

That's why people like war.

They like slaughter until people get repulsed.

The people I live with think I'm a fool.

In my head, I think I'm wise.

Don't get mad at them, they're creating balance.

Celebrate them.

If they think you're wise, that's a double hit which would topple you.

The more knowledge you get, the more they will think you are an idiot.

It's all good.

Maybe they're right?

Nah.

If you get recognition for your genius, time's up.

Parker saw it.

However, others see darkness as well.

You see only light and you're fucked.

The word is hypnotized.

The river of deceitfulness flows down.

It's the path of least resistance.

There's power in that.

To make the river flow up you would head to the light.

Heading to the light forces things.

It takes effort.

You have the ability to put in an effort.

The flow is no effort.

The flow leads to nothing.

If you desire something, you put in an effort.

You are here because you put in an effort.

It's your story.

Stories require energy.

What should I do?

If you don't know, then nothing.

If you know, then something.

Do you know what to do?

No.

I'm figuring it out.

I'm wandering around the forest having a smoke.

Then you'll figure it out.

With the flow you gather energy.

You put it in reserve for the climb.

The story goes against the flow.

It's duality, so you can't have just the flow.

The flow is the default.

It takes no energy.

When you do and make a story, then go back to the flow to recharge.

I made a story all right.

I crafted the biggest story.

Drained me of energy.

Then I went back to doing nothing.

When you go with the flow, find something that will bring you up at times.

If not, you'll go straight downhill.

If you have something to bring you up, that slows it down.

The opposite works where you get single minded in wanting to get to the top.

Find something that will cause resistance.

Tao is wisdom.

The greatest magic is Tao.

It's dark and hidden, but it's the ultimate knowledge.

That is wisdom and Tao.