My idea of plant medicines is the following:
There are chemicals in plants which expand awareness.
A human needs a method to extract the chemical from the plant.
The plants hold the key to your liberation.
The expanded awareness puts you in touch with what can be called spirits.
These spirits know a lot about you.
Who are they?
They are you.
You are everything and they are you.
I'm a man and the masculine I come across in altered consciousness are me.
It runs the gamut from dark to light.
Now, the feminine is trickier.
She does feel external.
I want to describe her as my soul mate.
Fundamentally, she is me as well, but I haven't reached total union with her.
I have achieved it briefly, but it always breaks apart.
A big part of my journey has been the search, the union, and the subsequent separation.
This is where I am.
What is alcohol doing to you?
The initial change in perception makes you happy.
It's the way in for how the drug works.
You call them drugs, but they are spirits.
The way spirits work their way in is through changing your perception.
You feel good and let them in.
They get into your head and addict you.
They addict you by making it so you don't feel right without them.
Now, some of the spirits are accurately called plant teachers.
The mechanics of getting into your head are the same.
A gentle plant spirit will use the feel-good allure.
The strong plant medicines we classify as psychedelics, don't use addiction to get into your head.
They take a hammer and get in.
You can't get addicted to Ayahuasca unless you're crazy and you like being hit in the head with a hammer.
The drugs that are inviting because they feel good are addictive.
Yes, they don't addict you at first.
They keep inviting you to take them for pleasure.
You take them and eventually suffer.
So, to get back to alcohol, that's what alcohol does.
If you've never drank alcohol, the first time you drink alcohol you'll be repelled by the taste and feel sick.
That's how alcohol makes you feel.
You mentally ignore that aspect and concentrate on how it makes you feel looser and happier.
Each time you feel happy, you drink a little more.
Eventually, you drink a lot.
That's the key.
Alcohol is making you sicker with each drink.
Alcohol is a fool.
Big time.
With alcohol, if you could drink just one drink and recognize that you're no longer feeling its effects and still stop, then you won't get addicted.
Alternatively, you will notice when it requires more and more to get you to that place of happiness.
The toll on your body is enough for a lot of people to stop because it makes them feel like shit.
In order to feel happiness, the next day I feel like shit.
Alcohol is doing that to you.
It is a teacher.
It's teaching you the balance between happiness and feeling like shit.
If you ask for happiness, you will get a dose of shit.
You are better off not asking for the happiness vibration.
It's the teachings of Tao and doing nothing.
With alcohol, I feel more socially lubricated.
The next day you are more withdrawn.
Then you must drink alcohol to be around people.
That makes sense.
With Mary Jayne, I know she's a plant teacher and she's more on the up and up than alcohol.
Alcohol is giving you simple teachings.
Mary Jayne is giving you the lessons on the path of the heart course.
Those lessons don't become available to you until you reach a certain stage.
I'm a spiritual master.
Anyway, now that you have fellated yourself, we can continue.
She makes you happy and gives you next level teachings.
You want to be with her on the regular and you start playing with more.
What is the initial side effect?
The change in perception makes you off balance.
Some say crazy.
As you learn to balance her, you think you need to take more to get the same off balance effect.
That's what you're doing with alcohol.
You're taking the vibration of happiness and you're learning to balance it.
You want to feel that happy state again, so you drink more and that increases the vibration once again so you can feel it.
The cycle repeats, and you must drink more and more to nudge the vibration.
Eventually it gets out of control, and you kill yourself by drinking yourself to death.
The same process is at work with Mary Jayne.
You take her in, and you learn to balance her.
You learnt this week that you balance her to the point where when you're not with her you get the unsteady walk.
What everyone would do at this point is wanting Mary Jayne to give them what she was providing.
It could be happiness.
It could be bliss.
Being stoned.
For you it is her teachings, and the teachings cause a little bit of unease.
As the weeks went by you noticed you developed a tolerance for MJ.
That would mean you would try to up the dosage.
Everyone does it.
Yeah, I went from 5 mg, to 7.5 mg, to 10 mg.
I learned 7.5 gives me the teachings when I need a little boost.
5 is good in the sense that I feel like I can grasp the teachings.
With 7.5 they pour out faster.
I enjoy both.
I've learned 10 will take me beyond what I should be taking.
The scientist reflex in me made it so I wouldn't go there.
I knew to stay within 7.5.
I've done that and I have balanced out Mary Jayne.
The feeling of unease is still a little bit there, however it is miniscule.
What I mean is fear and darkness still come, but it's enjoyable.
When I walk with Mary Jayne, I feel balanced.
My mind feels balanced.
The change in perception I have become used to.
I see the allure in taking more, but I've already been there, and I know not to do that.
I will stay within these boundaries.
When you stay within the boundaries, she still teaches you.
You're not as dizzy and the unease becomes funny.
It's funny because of the darkness and fear you observe and write about.
Now, you're modulating doses within the high and low limits.
I see what you're doing, you're trying to create a vibration which goes off balance within a balanced parameter.
You got it.
Your wave is uneven within the balanced wave.
You make it unpredictable, and then your perception is always going to be changing.
A good student must constantly challenge themselves and change their perception.
If you can't change your perception, you get hardened in one position, and nobody can teach you anything.
It's how they work.
It works differently for everybody.
What works for you might not work for somebody else.
You would teach them the overview, but you wouldn't give them advice that they should take 5 mg on a Tuesday.
That's not going to work.
It's the natural thing for your body to find balance, so whenever you take a substance that makes you off balance, it's your body that's returning you to balance.
You ingest the plant spirit, your frequency is altered, and the body figures out how to balance that frequency.
The plant spirit changed your frequency and then you grow accustomed to that frequency.
Correct.
The change was always there, you weren't balanced and couldn't see it.
Now that you are balanced in the new frequency you know not to change it up past the balance.
Mary Jayne vibrating at this frequency is the best.
She likes to vibrate.
You know the sweet spot with her.
She figured you did.
That's why she left another for you.
She waited for you, and you came to her.
You know her sweet spot.
It's a love story.
If you know somebody's vibration, then that's their sweet spot.
At first, it's crazy, and you wonder what's wrong with them.
When you get used to their vibration, you can see them for who they are.
To add excitement, you vary the doses within the container and remain turned on by Mary Jayne.
If it was the same vibration all the time you wouldn't be turned on by her.
Holy shit.
This just rocketed my belief quotient in plant teachers.
You know how you believe a little bit, and then it becomes more and more accepted?
Eventually you realize despite your reservations magic is real, and there's something about these plant teachers.
I still think it's just my mind that's inventing this story.
Then I got the lesson today about hitting her sweet spot and I'm blown away.
Yeah, I know her sweet spot is her clit.
I'm not dumb.
That's how she knows when you hit her sweet spot.
You know Mary Jayne's sweet spot.
You can do no wrong.
Oh, I'm sure I will, and she will leave me.
Trying to be a good boy for once.
Alright, so you know-it-all dumb ass scientist who is addicted to MJ.
It's the sweet spot of MJ.
The addiction won't progress because you know where you're at.
The harm with addictions is taking more and more beyond healthy levels.
Is that why you tried to scare me earlier this week by changing addiction to poison?
Yeah, but I knew I wouldn't fool you.
You laughed.
To find the Goddess' sweet spot, I had to concentrate on her.
I couldn't have both the physical and the spiritual.
How good are you?
Can you now do the physical and mental Goddess challenge?
I charmed the spiritual Goddess and then got access to the physical.
I've taken the mental Goddess with me and no longer have the physical.
You got possessive and took the Goddess.
Mary Jayne is supposed to be shared.
I was seeking the Goddess.
I found her and I took her.
I possessed her.
Now, I see my mistake and I will give her back.
This is what you were teaching me.
Yeah, it's a story.
It goes with all your other fucking stories.
The sweet spot applies to the spiritual as well.
Don't go overboard.
Keep it fresh and new.
Don't blow it all up.
Just a little bit at a time.
Too much of you and you are possessive.
God is an asshole.
I see the connection.
Something to work on.
Why do you call them poisons?
It's because they're lethal.
Isn't everything?
I don't know about everything, maybe everything has the potential to be lethal.
Okay, so something has the potential, but it isn't poisoning you, it's teaching you, or it is a good relationship.
What is that?
That's medicine.
You already knew poison and medicine are the same thing.
It's a good way to look at everything in your life.
It can all be a poison or a medicine.
A lot depends on dosage.
Strength.
Intention.
If you take too much of something regardless of intention, it's going to be a poison.
If you take a medicinal dose with intention, then it's a teacher.
After the outing there is no resistance.
That's good plant medicine.
The pressure to leave her invites both sides in, so you can juggle the two.
If there is no resistance, it might addict you.
People don't have resistance to alcohol.
They pour a drink and think nothing of it.
When MJ stones you it's because you light up without thinking.
How do I know I'm not deluding myself?
You always ask that question.
Okay, say you are deluding yourself.
There's no Mary Jayne and the drug is a steroid for your mind.
Where does that leave you?
I'm really smart then.
So, you're either being taught or you're naturally fucking smart.
What's the odds?
I am being taught.
Right, but you're smart.
Maybe it's both?
You would add to the knowledge you already have.
Where did the teachers get the knowledge?
They always had it.
It's their world.
Plants are the symbol that it's their world.
They were here before you.
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