language before words

Hermes knows the Goddess is the ultimate mistress.

Yeah, he figured that out easily.

He likes her as well.

We all are enamoured with her.

Dion, Hermes, and Paul.

Perhaps we can stick together?

You're in the Goddess' head.

The Goddess isn't in your head.

Sometimes.

Why isn't she in your head?

Dion is.

Dion is me.

She's external.

She's more visionary, whatever that means.

The masculine is not visionary.

The feminine is.

The masculine is teaching and philosophy.

Quests.

The feminine is crystal balls, scenes, and costumes.

Oh shit, I got it.

The language used by Dion is writing to connect with me.

Yes.

The Goddess uses visionary language.

Nature.

Fuck, wow.

That's how she speaks to you.

Nature is a trip.

Yeah.

Visionary.

The Goddess is always with you.

You don't see that even though she's in front of your face.

Her magic is visionary.

Yes.

She gets in your head and paints.

She shows you things.

That's the illusion.

You see past it.

You see she is a monster.

Sometimes I think I'm dense.

Why?

The knowledge is right in front of me and I don't see it.

The Goddess is Nature.

A lot of people know.

They don't see her though.

Why?

They don't know she speaks to you in visionary experience.

Dreams.

Yes.

You knew about Ayahuasca.

That's her speaking to you.

Is that why you now avoid Ayahuasca?

No, it's the experience.

It's crazy.

She wasn't speaking to you much the last few times.

Yeah, she was mad at me.

Why?

I made you a friend.

She would speak to me to yell at me.

Got that.

Astrology is the Goddess' vision at night.

She's a jewel on Huachuma.

Can you make sense of astrology?

A little bit.

The occult.

Yes, for sure.

Do you understand her visions?

Yes.

You're Apollo at Delphi.

You take her ramblings and make sense of them.

You write it down.

Your brother Hermes then makes them for mass consumption.

You are Apollo because you can understand the crazy ramblings of the Goddess.

Yup.

You don't need to say crazy ramblings.

You understand the Goddess.

If you were to do magic, who would you ask?

You mean invoke.

Yes.

Dion.

He's the most powerful.

He's the one you told you wouldn't do magic.

Yeah, he knows right away.

Clever.

Is that trust?

Yes.

Why?

You will never perform magic by invoking him.

You figure out the way around it.

Use Hermes.

He's a trickster who you trick.

You don't get mad with power because you don't exercise power.

The Goddess can fool you with visions.

Witch.

The Goddess gave you the dancing light.

I was always attracted to computers.

Addiction.

Like lust?

Yeah.

That's two.

You can get addicted.

To Tobacco as well.

You can't stop.

Yeah, I can.

It's not an addiction.

So, you are denying it.

I'm stating the truth.

You bring him everywhere.

Protection.

Ah.

Isn't it for the rush?

Okay, say I'm addicted.

Then it will harm you.

Got it.

You should go without, like with MJ.

I did while travelling and was okay.

I'm addicted to my rituals.

That's three.

So, don't say you can't get addicted.

You know you can.

Of course, I'm human, that's what defines us.

Addiction.

It gives stories life.

Why?

It is out of the ordinary.

Sometimes dangerous.

Lust, computers, and rituals.

Your three.

Lust always returns and must be satiated.

Computers abate my loneliness and sure enough I found a friend.

My rituals take me back to structure when I lose ground.

They are a good addiction I treasure.

You have always done rituals.

Magic practice but never took the next step.

It's the best because no one can figure out what you are doing.

I can't either.

But they know you are magical.

It drives them crazy.

The ritual would harm me then.

Magic will, but you aren't addicted to magic.

It's the worst.

Once you try it, you're done.

Imagine mixing it with lust and computers?

Bad news.

I mixed lust with computers.

Two addictions that you can break free of.

You mix Tobacco with your rituals.

Powerful.

I always fuck up the ritual.

Society and drugs do not mix because drugs will give you a peek or a clue that this reality is manufactured.

Once you see it is a game you cannot win, you will stop playing.

I would think you get a hint and that causes a lot of people to start dropping out.

It's terrifying to see another world come alive.

My linear and logical self says language is enabled only through words.

The Goddess constantly challenged me until I saw language is also visionary and more open to interpretation than the written word.

Nature comes alive through visionary language once you get past your illiteracy.

meaning of life

Is there a meaning of life? I guess I would have to figure out what I meant by meaning before tackling that question. What is meaning? Is meaning suggestive of a purpose? If so then why does something have to have a purpose? That seems like a cultural hang up or something our parents would tell us when we were teenagers so that we got out of bed before noon.

The only truth that I can pin down is that we are fields of energy that have a common source and all forms of the energy operate as waves in that they cycle from latency to a full expression and repeat. The energy is indestructible and is ever returning.

We bring the universe into existence. It is cyclical energy manifesting everywhere and our brain and central nervous system bring it to life by crafting a narrative out of what we are sensing and thus we give it context and meaning. Our brain is the greatest storyteller ever, we enter into that narrative, and then we act our part because we are all thespians and universal game players at heart.

What makes the energy power up so that it comes forth repeatedly? Is it the ever elusive perpetual motion machine that requires no input of energy? I do know the energy has two poles and they are the feminine and masculine and creation is populated by the manifestation of these gendered energies. To conceptualize how this may bring about cyclical energy, I envision the masculine as being conscious awareness. Picture the Buddha sitting in meditation just observing but not chasing or becoming attached to anything.

Buddha sitting in meditation

The feminine on the other hand is wild and chaotic. She brings the universe into existence with her beauty and how it radiates. The passive male becomes aware of her and this lights up desire. The chase and thus the game is on. Desire puts the game in motion.

feminine desire

Ultimately if there is a meaning of life it is to perform your dance however that is something you can't help doing. In other words there's really nothing you can do about it. You can try to swim against the current but in the end your energy is coming forth and returning and then repeat. So as the play moves along you have a part to play. There is a freedom to craft your character to play the part you wish to play. Or play multiple roles.

I think as we move through the game of life that has no intrinsic meaning we learn of certain actions and feelings that ring true as an ideal way to live. They involve sharing, caring, helping, and friendship which leads to happiness and from this ultimately love. Along the journey through human life we are also exposed to greed, selfishness, hatred, and jealousy which can lead to depression and ultimately despair. To a certain extent greed and selfishness are rewarded in the short term. We as human beings are ultimately rational and do indulge in behaviours that bring rewards thus the allure of greed yet if we could see the end game result of greed and selfishness we would rethink those behaviour choices. Unfortunately that is sometimes too late. Plant teachers and medicines can clearly elucidate this or symbolically suggest a new path for you though ultimately you have the freedom to choose what you wish to do with this guidance.

Really the meaning of life boils down to choice. I find many of the answers I have tried to discover concerning the higher philosophical musings are paradoxical; the prime example is that we are both the individual self and the all, it just depends on perspective, and since the universe is always on the move you can never pin down exactly who you are or what state you are in at any particular time. We measure things to give us comfort and something concrete to rest our notion of self and the universe upon, but it is ultimately illusory. 

A quick little detour here. Astrology is the recognition that you are inseparable from the perceptible universe and is an attempt to pin down the state of the known universe at the moment of your manifestation as a human being within it. Today Astrology has a pretty fringy reputation but its origins are on par with the best religion can offer us or that natural philosophy has revealed to us.

Soon after I started down this path of discovery over ten years ago I fell in love with ancient Egypt and one of the ubiquitous symbols of that culture is the scarab representing coming forth by day and then transformation in a continuous cycle which is represented in the perceived cycle of the sun from our perspective.

It took me a long time to apply that to my own existence however once I understood it I was able to look upon ancient wisdom as being severely untapped and of the highest knowledge of self. At the same time I rewatched the movie ‘The Matrix’ and in this movie the main character Neo had to make a choice between a red pill and a blue pill.

If he chose the red pill then the underlying truth of the world he was living in would be revealed to him. If he chose the blue pill then he would remain asleep and carry on like nothing happened. Neo chose the red pill and through this choice he went down a path that revealed to him the underlying construct that had been occluded from his knowledge of the world which then in turn opened up new meaning to his perception of the universe.

So to understand the meaning of life I think what we can gleam from examining existence is that the meaning, if any, is always on the move. And we influence the meaning through choice. Therefore the meaning is the meaning we assign to it by making choices from all that is available. I would like to think if everyone is given exposure to the profound love that is available to all in this cosmos then we would choose to love and make that the meaning of life. From this we create a world of our own making where the meaning of life is to learn to love unconditionally, repeatedly failing, and then trying again. If we all started doing that it would make the transformation of the play possible and we can write a story with a happy ending that is actually never ending, the "live happily ever after” conclusion. 

motion and thought

Been thinking more about time. Ultimately, it is motion. Time is the vibration of the eternal song, the Great Goddess, which creates the perception of a past as we hear the echoes of her song trailing into the distance. From this perception, we can then project and create a future. It's a peculiar human trait. The future is hardly a sure thing but just something humans can curiously construct and try to predict from available data. Why is the concept of time slippery and why will the eternal song forever remain a mystery? It is because humans objectify all and in truth the mystery is not solid; it is change, and therefore the antithesis to objectification. Just when we think we can grasp time, it slips away, just like the serpent. This process illuminates the Hindu concept of maya as illusion, in that all objects are illusions and by that it is meant they are transitory. Nothing lasts. The only constant is a lack of permanence. We recognize this, call this time, and see a world in constant flux. It is a dose of acceptance of change that we need. Embrace the music she creates and the now moment in which the song of creation eternally comes forth.

In the world of objects we have created for ourselves, we need time. We cling to a belief in permanence; and in order to continue the charade, we need the conception of time. An object lives in a dimension that includes time. What happens if the idea of objects is smashed? Everything becomes a no thing; instead what we have are vibrations cresting and falling. When we think about the past we understand the movement of the wave creates events that can be construed as being part of a timeline. Two necessary ingredients for the conception of time are therefore movement and thought.

The ancient art of astrology is given new life, once you realize nothing lasts. The occult practice is revealed as a way the ancients, desperate for a way to capture the moment, devised a scheme where a snapshot of the universe could be recorded with the expectation that the wheel of fortune eventually would revisit this same setup. It was as good a concept they could come up with knowing that when the wheel returned the body will have aged, the river will have changed, and this truth was captured by the ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus who explained, "No man ever steps in the same river twice." However, there was the expectation that the universe, when arranged in a specific pattern, would repeat the actions and events that previously transpired under such a set-up, Heraclitus be damned.

The lessons of cyclical time inspired by horoscopy add insight to the quest for understanding the eternal song. The tune goes on forever but if you listen closely you can detect the familiar rhythms, pulses, riffs, and the backbeat that give us a feeling of familiarity with the rhythmic cycles of creation's daughter.