advice not judgment

The awakening process involves searching externally for answers and eventually finding out what you are looking for is found within. You are everything and the answers are contained internally. The progression on the spiritual path is not over at this point. When you see this, a funny thing happens. In the external world you can then see with clarity what you are looking for.

I've started heading down this path and one of the initial lessons I received was enlightening. When you see the divine in the external then it becomes easy to love all. It's the secret sauce I was looking for because I finally had to admit I don't love the other. I find so many people fearful and greedy while holding them in contempt. I now see those traits within and realize the other, who is me, has incarnated into the flesh on this planet of the damned in order to satiate greed, work through trust issues, and become a warrior. Everyone has a path they are walking. I might not approve, get pissed off at them, or condemn them but the path they are walking will lead to a resolution of what brought them here, even if it means repeating the grade. I understand this and can now look everyone in the eye and have compassion for all. We will all get there, and I can honour that spiritual journey.

When I signed up for the plant medicine experience, I was cautioned it wouldn't be easy. Don Howard warned of the tumult to come in your life. Ceremonies were indeed difficult as the fear and unknown aspects of them were challenging to the point of wanting to run and never return. As hard as that was, I can say the life challenges thrown your way during the interval of the integration process are far more difficult. They are made hard by a stubborn refusal to take stock of oneself and apply the lessons to the situation you have received repeatedly. Service and doing things without expectations. Unconditional love. Reciprocity. Love Serve Remember. I've tried my best to not do this. Eventually, the hard knocks to the head get through and the approach mirrors what you have been taught.

What are plant medicines teaching me? What am I here to teach you? Did I learn my lessons or even understand them? I know why I took the course. I wanted to delve into the peculiar human condition which involves love. We strive to love all which is difficult. We passionately fall in love with one which seems easy. That love is more precarious, and failure has the potential to shatter your world. Loving all doesn't contain this outcome. There is always lots of love to go around and time to wait until others get aboard the love train.

The teaching starts to become clear. To escape the cyclical nature of being is to love all. Walking the path of the heart to this fork in the road has been a ride. I wonder how the next chapter plays out as I draft this story?

It's the weight of your heart not the size. Those are great lyrics from the 90s grunge band Alice in Chains in a song called "Angry Chair", describing the condition of your heart resulting from a lifetime of living. Some people grow a big heart in terms of being generous. The weight of your heart is determined by attachment. Getting emotionally attached to others in love and then suffering heartbreak will give you a heavy heart. Loving all with no preferences will make you lighthearted. You see the good in all and love everyone for their journey and contribution to this game of life.

When I started out on this path of discovery, I invested heavily into learning about the civilization of the ancient Egyptians. I came across what was called the judgment scene.

It involves the recently deceased having their heart weighed on a scale against a feather in the Hall of Maat in front of 42 divine beings. If the heart was heavier than a feather, then it would be devoured by the hybrid demon Ammit. Our modern take on it was that you'd be destroyed and sent to the depths of hell if you couldn't pass this test. If you did pass the test, off you went to see Osiris and get access to paradise. Ammit will constantly gorge on your heart if it is not as light as a feather. Do you need to wait until death for this scene to play out? It's available now and is on repeat.

We called this scene judgment because of our Judeo-Christian influence. The elements are suggesting this with the various divine figures looking on in addition to surmising the Hall of Maat is set up for judgment. The concept of Maat in ancient Egyptian thought is referring to the natural order of things, comparable to the Hindu concept of Dharma. Our western thought processes will immediately connect this to judgment. I'm not so sure about the inference. Maat is just the way it is. To go against Maat will bring upset into your life, but that's not judgment. Instead, it is your own doing. Thus, another way to look at Maat is not as judgment but just a product of your own choosing, to wit Karma. If you spend your lifetime becoming attached to others this will weigh down your heart and you will return to this heavy plane until the lesson is learned. We all know there's no escaping the eventuality that everything we hold dear here on earth is going to perish one day, including our own life. I think within this is found a cause for continual celebration. To rejoice in what we have and to let go when the time comes. Not to be sad but to be happy someone has completed their journey. From this can be derived a light heart. To love all.

We have a preoccupation with death and not living in the moment. We look at such a scene from the ancient Egyptians and immediately think this is the afterlife and we are going to be judged. The bias is because of our upbringing and applied by default. It's easy to bypass the default way of thinking if you just do it without thinking. That seems like an oxymoron, think by not thinking! Don't filter your thoughts before the expansion. Just see them in perfect form and try to grasp what it is they are showing you. Okay, got it? Look at the hybrid crocodile goddess Ammit devouring hearts. Internally, the Goddess is your heart. A heavy heart is the result of choosing to love only a few rather than all. When the select few leave for whatever reason, your heart becomes heavy and once again the monster will devour it. The lesson becomes strikingly clear. Love all. It's not judgment - it's advice. You are being shown the way to eternal bliss is with a light heart.

My heart, who is my mother, who is the Great Goddess, asked me, "Why can't you fall in love with one and still love all? Why do you have to be selfish and exclusionary?"

Yeah, why? 

weavers

The master weavers are the divine feminine and the divine masculine. They have an uncanny ability to take the collective experience here on earth and tailor it to everyone's individual journey. Your story becomes an intrinsic part of my story if and when we meet, and the unfolding of the drama is tied together in a way where it is what we wanted because it will fulfill the reasons we came to earth in the first place.

The human custom of the hug is so powerful in this regard. A hug is the symbolic representation of the meeting of two disparate universes in a recognition of a shared reality based upon love. Two universes are woven together. Taking this a step further, we see that the sexual union between a feminine universe and a masculine universe creates another universe. The new universe shares the energy of the parents and remains intrinsically connected. We are all connected but direct familiar bonds of shared energy maintain an even more psychic connection. The act of creation is undeniably a result of union between polar opposite energetic hotspots.

These realizations have me thinking about the Taoist concept of Wu Wei. You could translate it as "do nothing", but I tend to think it means something more along the lines of the flow where you don't intervene in the process which is unfolding. Chasing outcomes alters the storyline and detracts from the reason you are here in the first place. If you came to take a course in humility, being tempted by the bright lights of fame and fortune will lead you to a frustration that will require you to repeat the course. However, that was probably inevitable and so the expectation was failure and repeating third grade.

I do realize that suffering is the impetus which will get you to try and change outcomes. So, in essence is suffering part of the divine flow which compels you to act? Is suffering part of Wu Wei where the do nothing becomes do something? Does suffering give you license to change course? Very interesting to ponder.

The pondering is the marination of the unveiling of divine knowledge. I get the answers I seek, and the understanding is homework. The first time I drank Ayahuasca the Great Goddess told me, "All is vibration." I wrote a poem about the encounter where I admitted I didn't really know what she was talking about: "She tells me all is vibration. Do I understand? Maybe, maybe not." I further compared the world to a song which she sang into existence. The understanding that all is vibration would eventually come. Four years later I was in the Andes mountains of Ecuador drinking Huachuma, and the divine masculine was schooling me in regard to vibratory states of frequency and harmony. A big part of the lesson was mind control through locking fragile minds to a world frequency. Mind control is part of the cultural weaving process thus the practice of releasing yourself from the grip of the mind if you want to taste freedom. Energetic states of consciousness were explained, and I was given homework. The course involved multiple years to get to a level of understanding where I could be confident in explaining in my own words what I was taught. I see the lessons beautifully unfold in the chakra system of the Hindus.

So, the weavers weave the energetic strands into patterns of life, creating a dream world universe of which you are intrinsically connected. Without you, this plane of shared consciousness doesn't exist. The flip side is each of us creates our own universe. My world is different than yours and what the weavers do is make the connections. The divine weaver is a magician in every sense of the word. Where it gets interesting is if and when you discover you are the magic man or woman. You are literally the king of your world and master of your universe. You are in charge. You can then weave a story that will allow you to fulfil all your desires. However, you probably also know that changing the course of your incarnation goes against the flow and why you are here. You are going against the storyline and using cheat codes in order to beat the earth game. Realizing there is more beyond the game you have been conditioned to play, you intuit letting go of control in order to find the path back home. The power of love dwarfs all earthly power.

Ever get caught up in someone else's world or game? We now call it being a follower. There's a certain satisfaction in getting others to play your game. We all have our own unique game to play; however, following the siren call of culture will make you pack up your game and become a pawn on another's chess board. Being free allows you to gracefully exit someone's game and craft your own story. It's a deep yearning within us all to be free when the forces of oppression strike.

This all leads towards the idea of Karma. Alan Watts explained the concept as being of your own doing. In other words, you reap what you sow. The popular version of the meaning is some kind of divine retribution system employed by the universe. As with all of the corpus of popular understanding of nuanced concepts, I find the popular meaning of Karma to be laughably western. It however retains truth, as if you constantly are ripping people off, eventually the behaviour will catch up to you.

I do like Alan's definition in an amoral sense where Karma is just the result of your actions. I mean how could it not be? In talking to people who grew up in a Buddhist household they don't seem to agree with how I perceive Karma. Frustratingly, they are cagey about what it really means, suggesting there is another level of understanding to the concept. I like a mystery! Anyway, I have conflated Karma with the weavers, and I like where I'm going with this. I connect Karma to the idea that the universe is uniquely yours. You are the reason for the existence of a world of your own making and it only through the master weavers that it appears to be a shared existence of the many. But my world is clearly not yours. It is only through locking to a shared frequency of consciousness that we see the same things. If we stray from the shared frequency, culture labels the deviance pathology. Schizophrenia, anyone? So, because this is your world, Karma is what you make of it. It's why you are here. You subconsciously signed up for the course to fulfill desire, break free of desire, and find the path of the heart. You created many obstacles towards finding the way back home, but you left clues that would help you if you sought in earnest. Well, this is my story. My Karma. How about you?

Karma then suggests being true to your story. Becoming caught up in someone else's adventure seems to be contradicting the divine flow of your universe. Maybe I've answered my internal pondering of both Karma and Wu Wei with one blog post? Karma is why you dreamt the world into existence and Wu Wei is to travel the path towards the fulfillment of the dream. For me, this is the path of the heart. My Karma is to find her within the dream and walk back home. Wu Wei is the path; to wit, the yellow brick road.

Karma leads to Dharma. My doing shouldn't be at odds with the way of the flow. In the west we are flummoxed by the meaning of Dharma. It does not compute. Here are some meanings of Dharma I pulled off the internet.

In Hinduism, Dharma is the eternal and inherent nature of reality, regarded in Hinduism as a cosmic law underlying right behaviour and social order.

In Buddhism, Dharma is the nature of reality regarded as a universal truth taught by the Buddha. Dharma means "cosmic law and order." Divine law.

Dharma is commonly translated as "righteousness", "merit" or "religious and moral duties" governing individual conduct.

Besides the "inherent nature of reality" those meanings are just western bullshit. Social order denotes control, and the lack of freedom dooms you to a life of being a follower. The idea of a points system based on merit is another laughable human concept.  Cosmic law and order are dubious. We come from chaos and indeed Dharma does give a structure to chaos. It's the western bias which wants to promote the idea of laws. What I think the definition is trying to get at is the idea of the flow where through observation in this consciousness plane, we just see the truth of how things are. The ancient Egyptians had a similar word for Dharma which they personified as the goddess Ma'at. She is the natural order, and every pharaoh was responsible for upholding ma'at. You could call it the divine order and see an agent of chaos, such as the god Set, cause upset by assigning eclipses of celestial objects to his power. An ancient Egyptian would believe this universal order meant that Egypt would always rule the world through the chosen pharaoh but alas that wasn't in the cards. They would now say we aren't living in ma'at but that's their spin. I would say ma'at and dharma are describing truth and truth is just what is. When you sit in meditation, turn off your mind, and just observe, you find truth. It's not difficult. "Right" behaviour is just another linguistic trick to denigrate the left-hand path which will lead you back to the heart. We build the mental block into our language so when you get to the fork in the road, you will turn right. Right turns into righteousness and is just another hell realm.

Righteousness involves creating hell in the upper planes of consciousness. We are uniquely masters at creating hell wherever we go. On earth, we create a realm of suffering and define existence in the lower planes of consciousness as a life of suffering, always trying to fulfill desires which result in some sort of suffering. The masculine has this perverse need to rise above it all and stand alone on the holy mountain. Once he realizes he has separated himself from the human chaff, he puts on the golden chains of righteousness and casts down damnation upon the lesser beings through judgment. He is still unable to love and thus creates a new realm of hell through righteousness to henceforth wallow in his misery. The lengths we men will go to avoid the heart is staggering. Misogyny and a burying of the knowledge of the Goddess illustrate the point. The chakra system of energetic planes of consciousness illustrates the predicament. The heart chakra is in the middle, not at the top of the ladder. Sure, it is fulfilling to visit higher states of being, especially if you are in a lower energetic plane defined by having a human body; however, after spending time searching for meaning, the road does lead to love and the heart space. The name of the game is to find the path back home to the heart. Exhaust it all and you'll see.

So, what I'm saying is my Karma is not your Karma and this makes for an interesting woven and shared experience. Much respect for all, and may you find what it is you are looking for.