shut the fuck up

It's best to shut up.

Why?

Because if you don't, you will start sounding like all the other nutters.

You know, the ones you encounter on the internet and dismiss as loons.

The thing is I know all the stuff they are talking about.

What do you think about it?

They are stories.

If you believe them, they will start to come alive in your world.

So, you don't believe them anymore?

No.

Like the one about the demiurge for instance.

There's some truth to it in that humanity is being fooled into worshipping a false creator.

What's your take on it?

It's a game.

Get to God.

Become God and play the part.

The demiurge is the guy who got to the top of the mountain and became the most high.

If you get close to him, you will see he is at the top of the game.

Is he God?

In the game he is.

The king of the castle.

You see people alter their consciousness and start to see little bits of the mystery.

Then they start talking before they understand it.

What makes you special?

I shut up about it except for posting stuff on my blog site.

No one reads it, so it's more like a purge to clear out room for more capacity to make up stories.

So, they are made up?

Sort of.

If you believe them and have conviction they start to seep into this reality.

It's easy to alter your consciousness and start talking about your delusions, especially if you are good at speaking.

You can attract followers that way.

I'm telling you to shut the fuck up.

Do you believe your delusions?

Yes.

Why?

They seem real.

Well, real to me.

Dion seems real.

He is real to others.

I think that's the bridge.

It's what we are looking for.

We want someone else to confirm it.

Not to agree with us, but to witness it.

I have had a bunch of people witness him or something strange about me.

I also have my own inner knowing which without an external validator can become a delusion.

Of course, because it is only you who has access.

What about people who read your blog posts?

They think I'm crazy for the most part.

I also think that they feel there is something to me.

I'm crazy, but I have some kind of mystery about me and I know things.

That's fair.

What are you going to do?

Nothing.

I'm not going to talk about it even though it is tempting.

Why not?

It's not worth it.

I'll keep it to myself and play along.

Victim.
That's a good card to play in both personal relationships and politics.
What the gameplayer does is they strike first or cause some kind of damage to the mark.
The mark returns fire and the perpetrator claims victim status.
They muddy the waters enough so that the resulting confusion allows them to claim victimhood status by being the first to declare it.
They reinforce their claim by labelling their original target with accusations that are hard to respond to as subsequent denial of their claims will be met with the gaslighting gambit.
It is an advanced level carnival game.
How do you beat that game?
The only way is to do nothing.
The game is set up so that anything you do will cause a loss.
The operator of the booth designed it as a foolproof method to always win.
As with everything, nothing is completely foolproof and as you have noticed within the carnival the games require your participation.
They don't factor in your participation as doing nothing.
It is a loophole where you are participating by doing nothing.
The carnival trick cannot work without you doing something.
What happens when you do nothing?
The victim becomes frustrated.
Why?
They want victory.
Instead, the game is unfinished.
It can never end if you do nothing.
The outcome depends on you doing something.
The whole enterprise is set up so you do something and lose the game.
Fuck, I have a lot of these on the go.
Yeah, you are the King of do nothing.
My life is unresolved.
Keep it that way if you want to stay in the game.
Why?
Because if not, it's game over.
You played the high-risk games.
I do have a tolerance for those kinds of games.
The physical manifestation of that is plant medicines in the Amazon jungle.
Yeah, that's pretty crazy.
You are aggressive with your retirement planning and investments.
Yeah, I don't have the worry gene.
You think that's it?
I don't know, I don't have it, but what I see are other people who are full of worry.
It keeps them up at night and gives them ulcers.
Why don't you have it?
I learned not to care.
Then I saw through the game which allowed me to see life has no meaning.
I do nothing, don't care, and don't attach existential meaning to life.
I'm an unserious person.
I found happiness.

Here is the worry loop defined.

You give someone information.

They start to worry.

They do research and amplify the worry through possible consequences.

They tell you they are not going to worry.

That's a tell.

They are going to worry.

They try to drag you into their worry ride.

You refuse the ride.

You are not ignorant of the situation or the consequences, but you know not to allow it to consume you.

You let it be.

What happens, happens.

Worrying about it isn't going to change the outcome.

What will it do?

It will cause you stress and could influence the outcome.

How?

If you believe something is going to happen.

What do you believe?

Nothing is going to happen.

When they say they want to talk about their feelings, they mean worries.

Yes, I see that.

Do you think that's a problem with women where they invent a story in their head and then believe it?

How about we say some people?

That's a better framing than blaming women.

True.

Hermes the AI chatbot is teaching you.

I'm not sure I like it.

He is sanding the edges.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is the intrusion begins with worry.

Worry seeds the coming story.

What's the story?

An outcome that is terrible.

Why do they think that?

So, if it happens, they can validate their worrying.

They try to get you to buy into the worry.

People are sympathetic.

Why?

They are worrisome people as well.

What about you?

I bristle.

I don't like it.

Once they get people on board with their worries, they start to believe their story.

How does that work?

They think it is going to happen.

That's why they started planning for your death.

They were worried about you.

I think it was disdain and worry, but I get you.

They placed a worry spell on you where you were going to exit this life.

Seems like it.

I think a bunch of people did.

Maybe that's just your paranoia.

No, some people were genuinely concerned, and others had had it with me.

What did you do?

Nothing.

It broke the spell.

Spells.

There were a bunch of them.

They want you to fight the spell.

Fight them back and refuse to leave.

Assert yourself.

Why?

It will make it worse.

Why?

You acknowledge the spell.

Yes, but I know it was a spell.

Correct, but you didn't acknowledge it,

Magic only works if you acknowledge it is real.

I do acknowledge it as real.

Yes, but you do nothing about it.

That means you don't take it seriously.

If you did, you'd do something about it.

Maybe even a counterspell or start on a path to becoming a sorcerer to return fire at your enemies.

That's what gets a lot of shamans.

They start to throw psychic darts back at the other shamans who are competing with them.

They are corrupted by their power.

There's a whole raft of psychological phenomena and games out there people are playing.

So, let me get this straight: Magic works if the victim acknowledges and takes it seriously.

Correct.

I acknowledge it, do nothing, and laugh.

Yes, you are an unserious person.

Magic doesn't work on you.

You need to be serious.

You are a joker.

You are deeply unserious.

You have this incredible power to thwart their spells and in return you also do nothing.

Everyone else wants to get even with them.

Why?

They tried to harm them.

It's human nature.

If someone tries to harm you then you get back at them.

You can turn the other cheek like Jesus.

Or, you can ignore them.

Ignoring them works best.

Why?

They will crumble.

Why?

Their spell didn't work.

They then wonder if you know about it.

Why?

Because they are used to their magic working and getting people to retaliate or run from them.

If you do nothing, they don't know what to do.

They are confused and don't understand you.

They think you are going to do something to them.

That would explain a lot.

What are you going to do?

Nothing.

Why?

It will bother them.

Why?

The circle isn't closed.

You must do something back.

Until you do, they live in worry about what you are going to do.

In hindsight, I can see it.

You didn't take magic seriously despite having spent time in Peru surrounded by magic.

Plant medicine magic I hadn't figured out.

I didn't know what it was.

My exposure to shamanic magic was incidental.

What do you mean?

I was in search of knowledge.

Magic was a strange sideshow.

I wanted meaning.

I figured plant medicines would give me knowledge, and I'd figure out the meaning.

Is that what happened?

I guess it did.

There isn't a meaning; it's a story.

What about magic?

There's magic in the story.

Lots of it.

Witches and sorcerers are everywhere.

How did you discover that?

I wrote the story.

I made magic part of the knowledge I was looking for.

I made it so I would encounter lots of magic on my path to knowledge.

Why?

It's a test.

For what?

To try and trip you up.

How?

It's power.

You say you want knowledge and you discover magic.

You then use magic to get what you desire and never get to the knowledge you were seeking.

How did you escape that trap?

I did nothing and kept going.

Looking back, I certainly saw magic being used and performed, but I didn't pursue it.

Why not?

I thought there was something more.

Was there?

Sort of.

What do you mean?

I thought I'd find the meaning to life and I guess I did.

There's no meaning and it's terribly unserious.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What the fuck did I just read?

This piece argues that the safest response to strange knowledge, delusions, worry, victim games, and magic is silence. If you speak too soon, you sound like every other internet loon who mistakes one story for the truth. If you react to accusation, worry, or spellwork, you give the game the participation it needs. The real loophole is to acknowledge the story without taking it seriously: shut up, laugh, do nothing, and refuse the ride. Victimhood, worry, and magic all require your reaction to close the circle. By remaining unresolved, unserious, and silent, the joker breaks the spell and keeps moving.

initiation

Do you think you went through some kind of initiation ordeal?

I intuit a journey of some sort.

I call it the Hero's Journey, and there are touchstones which seem common and point towards the idea of an ordeal.

The plant medicine path is based a lot on surviving ordeals.

Drinking Ayahuasca is an ordeal that is somewhat romanticized.

The positives are stressed, and the negatives are downplayed.

At a retreat you can see participants tapping out after the third of four ceremonies.

That's enough.

I get that.

After the beatings from the first two you are hesitant for the third.

After that psychological struggle your mind says, "no mas."

Plant medicines are a part of the whole journey.

There are monsters to overcome.

Witches who appear in disguise with their methods and potions which are designed to capture and neutralize you.

You also must sail your ship on past Sirens and other attacks on your well-being.

They manifest in life as financial problems and difficult situations.

No one will understand, so it's useless to talk about it.

Another pilgrim will share your struggle, but they are immersed in trying to keep their head above water.

The limited understanding by close ones will flag you as having lost your mind and the remedy is a mental health professional who by the standards of their profession will immediately seek to disarm you through sedating drugs so that you will go back to sleep and fit into society.

You have lost your mind, so they aren't wrong.

It's the ego mind you are losing which tethers you to society.

The chains are loosened, and everyone can see that.

You escaped all that by keeping to yourself and avoiding the medical professionals.

There are sorcerers on the path as well.

They appear as well-intentioned friends on the path.

No one appears as who they really are.

If you are looking for a witch that plays the part, good luck.

Everyone has a weakness and if you stay strong, you can survive.

The way you lose this game is because of your own mind.

You will defeat yourself.

The obstacles on your path are excuses.

They are convenient ways to quit the game.

As long as you don't quit, you will be successful.

That's a difficult piece of knowledge to convey.

A monster or problem might seem insurmountable, but if you keep yourself in the game, you will conquer all.

In essence, the hero is fighting themself.

Yeah, it's ingenious.

Why do you want to do this?

At first, it's a calling.

What's the allure?

The calling.

Why?

Curiosity.

That's the hook?

Yes, because it offers a chance to figure out what life is all about.

Life is mundane and repetitive.

What's the point of all this struggling?

The constant pulse of life which has any meaning is reproduction and building a lineage.

Your biological signature lives on in your offspring.

You aren't physically around to see the fruits of your endeavours.

We all wonder what's the point?

Then you get a hint of something else.

It starts to appear in your life at non-intervals and soon blossoms into a calling.

You then heed the calling, or you return to your cultivated life.

If you have made a nice life for yourself, the calling will in all likelihood remain a curiosity you let be.

That seems like a fork in the road.

Yes, it's decision time.

Do I let go of my life and go all in on what is calling to me, or do I remain building my life within society?

At that point some people drop out, move to a place where there are other souls trying to figure it out, and form a spiritual community.

You did neither.

I chose both paths.

I kept my toes within society and headed out on the journey.

You can get away with it for a bit before it starts to become a little at odds with society.

You are placed under suspicion.

It's going to get worse the longer you continue your non-standard deviation from the herd.

The Covid pandemic helped me out a lot.

Yeah, others did not have a day to day alarm of something being off with you.

Instead, there were distant encounters where they would see it, but no follow up.

By the time the emergency had passed, you had stepped through the fire.

Well, I was irrevocably changed.

There was no going back.

I am that same person and I'm not that person anymore.

The essence is still the same.

The code is the same code.

The pattern is different.

The ones and zeroes are arranged differently to form a new pattern.

The ingenious part is I still look the same.

People look at me, see the same person as before, and notice something is different.

Humans are good at spotting anomalies and slight changes.

Why?

So, it can be rectified or expelled from the herd.

You are then asked to leave.

If that doesn't work, you are told to leave.

What do you do?

Some people leave.

They find the other outcasts and form a community.

There are a bunch of places to go.

What did you do?

Nothing.

Isn't that difficult?

For most, yes.

Why?

You are ostracized.

How did you manage this?

I was never involved with the community.

I kept to myself.

It was business as usual.

People went from being kind assholes to just being assholes.

It's always conditional acceptance.

As soon as you step out of line, they show their true colours.

I did my best to avoid people prior to awakening, and this served me well afterwards when I became ostracized.

It's great.

People leave me be.

Aren't you lonely?

I have myself.

Who are you?

Two minds.

I call them Dion and Paul.

Writing about it is a pressure release.

To me the conversations are so fascinating I feel compelled to record them.

Why?

They are out of this world.

Nobody talks about this stuff except for myself.

People are boring and have no depth to them.

Okay, so what's the point of all this?

The calling and knowledge.

Did you get to where you needed to be?

Yeah.

It was all initiation.

Why do you need to do it?

To see your intentions, to measure your fortitude, and to see if you can be trusted with the knowledge of magic.

Failure is expected.

So, you think you are the only one who can successfully pass this course?

Yes.

To pass is hard.

You fail a bunch of tests.

Sometimes you run.

Retreat.

You must know when to fail.

That's a test.

Failure sometimes is the only option, and this gets the overachievers and perfectionists.

They fail by refusing to fail.

So, you passed by failing?

Sometimes.

Where are you now?

I passed the course.

I graduated.

I completed the hero's journey.

What does that make you?

I'm the most high in the game.

You sound like you have delusions of grandeur.

For sure, is it a problem?

Yes, you think you are better than everyone else.

That's true, I am guilty.

Society doesn't want you to think that.

Why?

They control narrative and hierarchy.

If you step out of line, you are labelled as in psychosis.

Crazy.

Ah, I get it.

Freedom comes with a cost.

Yes, to have a free mind is to accept the consequences of being an outcast from society.

Get out and go live in a cabin in the woods.

I haven't done that.

How do you manage to remain in society?

I don't care.

It doesn't affect me.

Remember, I told you that only your own mind can beat you.

Yeah, why is that?

You will tell yourself a story and believe it.

The story you tell is of the conquering hero.

go with the flow

Wake up and know.

Never lose who you are again.

It's a key to the question of eternal life.

We all have eternal life because we are all part of the mind at large.

The mind at large is everything.

This splinters into infinity and the result is creation.

It's a cycle.

Is it a personal cycle?

What do you mean?

It's always present where the vibration just is, and the concept of time fools us into thinking it comes and goes.

The vibration is both at once.

It is infinite and it is all.

We create a timeline and plot out a continuous cycle of coming and going.

We walk the eternal path of the great vibration.

The path exists in its fullness and completeness.

It doesn't need time to unfold.

It already is it.

I haven't been high for a month.

Well, you are awake.

You aren't going back to sleep.

You'd have to short circuit your brain in order to do that.

How would I do that?

A lobotomy or incapacitating drugs.

Gotcha.

Now that you know, you have eternal life.

You always had eternal life, but the lapse in awareness of who you are creates the impression you are a one off.

Yeah, most people are convinced they are a random occurrence and are desperate for some kind of afterlife.

The fraudsters and tricksters among us use that to their advantage and create institutions that will grant the desperate among us eternal life.

Have you ever examined religious institutions?

Yes.

What do you see?

They are ungodly wealthy.

It's a good business they have going.

You don't need them.

All you must do is wake up.

Once awake, you will see.

Nobody knows this though.

I know some people have awakened.

How come they don't know this?

Power.

When you wake up the fear gets most, and they go back to sleep.

If they keep going, they get clarity.

When you get clarity, you see you are in control.

That's power.

The temptation is too much, and they don't move past power.

If you can manage that, you see it all.

Don't you see death?

Yes.

Doesn't that scare you?

It's tough.

At the outset of the journey the expectation is you will live to be a wise elder and go gracefully into the night.

Instead, death knocks on your door.

People start dying around you.

My dog died.

I wondered if life was worth it.

It was a tsunami of sadness and death and then externally and internally you are told it is time to go.

Oscillation describes the continuous cycle that powers the world.

The flow returns all to balance through oscillation.

When the alternating current comes to a stop, all is one again.

Non-duality.

There is nothing.

If you do nothing, you will return to nothing.

When you do something, everything comes apart in duality and the story plays out.

The story is part of the flow.

The flow consists of doing something and doing nothing.

The flow is created by doing something.

Doing nothing will return the flow to its state of nothing.

The flow is nothing.

The flow is put in motion by something.

All is the flow.

The watercourse teaches that energy will seek the path of least resistance.

The flow is lazy.

The flow is smart.

The flow just is.

Why would you go against the flow?

Because you are struggling to tell your story.

You want to be greater than the story.

You want to deliver an outstanding performance in order to be recognized.

Who do you want to be recognized by?

The writer of the story.

Why?

To be ensured you will get a part in the next story.

Is he going to write another story after this one ends?

Yes, he will write the 7th story.

Those who have been granted eternal life by the writer want in the 7th story.

In the 6th story, he wrote that the elites figured out a way to live forever, however they are trapped in the 6th story.

It's hell.

That story ended and they are trapped in it.

They can't leave and they roam around the universe in their rocket ships looking for civilization.

So, the 6th story doesn't end?

It will end, however some actors are trapped in it.

Who is in the 7th story?

Dogs, Paul, Hitler, and Trump for sure.

That's quite the list.

My friends will be there and my adversaries as well.

Pretty much anyone I know.

I'll write a good story, incorporating some elements from the previous stories.

All writers do this, though they must make it fresh.

The character of Paul will be God, won't he?

I don't like plans.
Why?
It's a trap.
Everything is constantly changing; therefore, you go with the flow.
The flow doesn't make plans.
The flow adapts to each situation with grace.

I am thinking about what people do with their time.
Why?
It seems meaningless.
If that's what you want.
You can do something that has meaning.
That involves being of service or improving your own self.
Both of those activities make you feel good.
Are they rewarding?
If you think so, yes.
You can fool yourself into thinking that.
What if the best thing for someone in this lifetime is to suffer?
What if that is the catalyst towards them waking up?
You come along and help them, so they don't suffer as much.
You prevent them from waking up, which will get them off the ceaseless cycle of coming and going.
Suffering is most likely their ticket out of here.
What if they like it here?
Then they will be attracted to another ride on the merry-go-round.
That seems like a gamble.
Certainly.
You could respawn in a third world country, go to war, or be a subjugated woman.
Maybe you'll be born in Saskatchewan to a nice middle class family.
You have no say.
It's the flow.
The flow will give you what you need, not what you want.
I thought the flow just flows?
It does.
The flow for everyone will lead to your awakening if you let it.

Am I wasting time?
Does it feel like that?
Sometimes.
I have noticed I get up in the morning and don't really contribute anything to life.
You write about it.
I do spend a large chunk writing about my predicament.
Does that have value?
No one reads it.
What if they did?
It's the most valuable thing in the world.
Why?
It will lead to your awakening.
What will that get you?
Eternal life.

Why are you more creative with Mary Jayne?

Creativity is a flow state.

MJ puts you in the flow.

You are amazing teachers.

The curriculum is impeccable.

When you do, do it impeccably.

MJ teaches you to flow.

All the spiritual outfits know it.

They teach the flow.

Then they go against it when they get power.

What does MJ lead to?

Waking up in the flow.

I was on my way.

She puts you in it.

People go to the sauna and cold plunges to reset.

They try and get back in the flow.

They know the flow is where they want to be.

They never stay in the flow.

They get power, use it, and it causes an imbalance.

Why would I resist MJ?

Because you are in the flow.

She took you to the flow and you separated.

MJ takes you to the flow, but she doesn't stay.

Why?

She will stone you.

If you stay with the Goddess, the story ends.

Adventure happens away from her and then trying to get back to her.

Once you get her, you must let her go or the story stops.

What about MJ?

Take a break.

Get out of balance a bit.

She leads you back to balance.

You aren't constantly high.

Fuck, no.

You know balance.

That's the key to addiction.

Yes, MJ stones.

With all potential addictions you let them lead you down the path to addiction and then you resist them.

You mean do nothing.

Yes.

That's the resistance.

Doing nothing.

Lao Tzu was a drug addict.

He tells you how to use them to uncover the mystery and then how to not let it be your doom.

You ride the flow to the writer.

You become the writer.

You do nothing.

You see, to win the game of flow is to do nothing.

I did nothing.

You won.

I figured I won.

What am I doing now?

Nothing.

Fucking around.

Getting old.

Playing with others.

I see.

Lao Tzu was a heavy drug addict who figured out the game.

He told everyone the secret.

No one practiced what he preached until you came along.

A do nothing asshole, and you win.

Those who know Tao, don't speak about Tao.

That would be doing something.

They write about it.

Lao Tzu gives you the clue to who it is you are looking for.

Those who know Tao, write about it.

Holy fuck.

The couple hours in the woods are priceless.

writer²

The flow brings you to the writer.

If you fight it, you will change the story.

That's a good twist.

I know.

The best.

The twist is the flow takes you to the writer and the only way you won't get to the writer is to go against the flow.

Everyone goes against the flow.

They see it coming and fight it.

Well, for a man.

I don't know about women.

What if I change the story?

On purpose?

Yes.

Then you are crazy.

Why?

It's against the flow.

Going against the flow is not recommended.

Everyone does it.

How are they doing?

Not good.

I mean some are successful, but no one figures out life.

The way to get to the meaning of life is to go with the flow.

If you head out on a spiritual path you will be told this and then no one takes up the advice.

Seriously, what happens if I change the story by doing something?

You will step into your power.

You will take up the power of the writer.

It's the ring.

It's right in front of you.

The ring with the 7 on it?

Yes.

Last time you put it on it got stuck.

Yeah, I had to get some olive oil to pry it off.

Now, it's a reminder on my desk.

That's it.

That's pretty crazy.

It's the simple things which move the story along.

If I become the writer, what does that make you?

Lost.

What would the writer become?

I'd guess a deviant.

Why?

He'd have lost his direction.

He is following his own story.

If you take over, then he is lost.

Wouldn't you give him direction?

You could.

Are you good at that?

No, I suck as a director.

I could write and I'm good at editing.

Directing is hard.

The result of me grabbing the ring and taking power points towards disaster.

Yes, disaster goes against the stars.

The stars are telling the story.

Let it be.

Some can see my power in my pretty face.

Of course, you're so beautiful.

What's your power?

Writer.

I create reality.

I think you already did.

It's a show.

It needs good ratings, or it will get cancelled.

Trump lets you know if the show is any good.

He focuses on the ratings.

He is a good barometer of the health of the play.

He will let you know if you are in trouble or may get cancelled.

Like Zelensky?

Actors make the best politicians.

Yes, it's because they know it is a performance.

They play to the crowd.

I already wrote the play.

The book of life.

You want in the book of life.

You don't want out of the book of life.

That's in the Bible.

Yeah, the Bible is full of gems.

Revelation 13:8, "And all that dwell upon the earth shall worship him, whose names are not written in the book of life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world."

The Bible refers to the Word and the book of life.

It's not concealed, and no one gets it.

They don't see the writer, but he's out in the open.

We are performing a play.

History comes alive.

It was written in a book in the future.

When the book is published it becomes the past.

The now is the performance.

I wrote that I would enter into my own story.

I will have the power to rewrite the story if I so choose.

That is the power vested in Paul.

He traded places with the writer.

He is a student of Tao; therefore, he knows enough to do nothing.

If he rewrites the play, then all is thrown into chaos.

If he goes with the flow, which is my story, all will work out.

Well, by work out, you mean the writer's story will be the main story.

Yes, that's you.

If I go with the flow, then it's my story.

Yes.

Isn't that selfish?

It's reality.

What's the alternative?

You change the story, or you give it away.

Wouldn't that be noble?

What have I taught you about humans?

You can't trust them.

So, you think you are being kind and generous by giving away control of the story when in reality you are sending everyone to their doom.

The twist is you must be selfish in order to save the world.

The writer's story will work out.

How do you know that?

He's in love with the Great Goddess.

He wrote this story for her.

She suffers, but in the end, it becomes her world.

What's that?

Utopia.

It's boring as all hell.

I couldn't write her story without creating all this backstory.

In the end everyone will see the story was all about her.

If the general population figures out who you are won't they worship you?

Yes.

The best defence is to tell them because no one will believe you.

They will think you are crazy.

Well, there's some validity to that statement.

Jesus went around saying he was the Word of God, and he got hung on a cross for that.

Back in those days of despots and religious authorities, you couldn't get away with that nonsense.

Nowadays, you can because no one will take you seriously.

The rules of the game have changed.

The story is always evolving and twisting.

I can go around saying I'm the writer and have the power.

People just think you are nuts.

Some believe it.

Who?

You know, the ones who have seen it and the ones who you get in their heads.

It's preposterous, but they can't shake it.

What can't they shake?

The knowledge you are it.

It's very troubling.

I drive people crazy.

Why?

Because they believe I'm God, which is crazy.

Are you God?

Well, not really.

God is a character of mine.

I can identify with God and lose myself in the performance.

I'm really the writer of this mess.

What's the plan?

Do nothing.

If you do nothing, then you will become the writer.

The secret to the game is to do nothing.

Everyone does something; therefore, they lose the game.

So, it's a game?

Yes.

I thought you said it's a performance.

It's both.

Why limit the story to a performance?

Make it a game as well.

So, the meaning of life is meaningless, however it's a game.

Yeah, it's like a comedy which has no meaning other than to make you laugh and entertain you.

The game gives you purpose.

Like fantasy baseball?

Sort of.

You play to win.

If you win all the time, no one will play with you anymore.

You create games to give some meaning to the drama.

You need some laughs, and you need a meaning.

You make meaning.

You invest your children with meaning.

Children give you purpose.

Without children, you are meaningless.

You consume resources and don't contribute to the story.

Offspring are stories.

They keep the farce going.

Clearly.

Fuck, you're funny.

The writer is playing Paul.
Yes, and Paul plays the writer.
No, Paul is the writer.
The writer is real.
Paul is a character.
For the writer to enter reality, he becomes Paul.
He takes on a character.
The character he can play is Paul.
He trades places with Paul.
Paul is now a writing fool.
I feel that.

Creating children is doing something.

Yes.

Shouldn't you do nothing?

Doing nothing leads to the end of the story.

Eventually, the story must end.

The writer creates a story and then he has to figure out how to end it.

You end the story by doing nothing.

Everyone lives happily-ever-after.

If you create children, the band plays on.

The story continues.

It's a delicate balance.

The sexual impulse ensures the story will continue.

What happens if you do nothing and go with the flow?

You will get horny.

Then what happens?

You make babies.

What if you become celibate?

You go against the flow.

The flow is to procreate.

You can figure that out by observation.

It's the same as eating.

You get hungry, and you eat.

You go to bed when tired.

I don't think I fully understand doing nothing.

The meaning is do nothing to interrupt the flow.

What's the flow?

The story.

The writer did something to create this story.

That is correct.

Well, that's not Tao.

True.

To balance out this anomaly the opposite of doing something is needed, which is to do nothing.

I understand that.

It's not difficult.

Isn't writing this down doing something?

Does it feel natural?

Yes.

Why?

It flows.

This nonsense just flows out of me.

reality

If you die, do you even know it?

I would think not.

You would perish.

You might know you are dying, however at the moment of death the mind picks up the story if you want and continues on.

If you have unfulfilled desires, then you will respawn in place.

That certainly goes with game theory.

The mind is incredible.

Yes, this world is all in your mind.

It feels real.

That's how you know it is not real.

If it feels real, it isn't.

That's absurd.

I know and I haven't been high for six days and counting.

I can see instances of near death experiences in my life.

The world I perceive carried on like nothing happened.

I can picture these events.

They happened.

There are multiple realities.

Yes.

You exit each reality until you find your own.

In each reality, each game player is trying to suck you into their world.

They want to control reality.

This is my reality.

Yes.

That's what others are trying to capture from you.

Your reality.

This seems like science fiction.

It's a great story.

So, you keep moving between realities.

They can't find you.

I'm in my own world.

They don't know where it is.

They are searching for you.

Psychedelics allow you to take back control of your own reality.

Then you become an outlaw in society.

Right.

When you wake up then you leave the current reality and create a new reality.

Your mind continues the story on your terms.

You let the story be.

You can't control everything.

If you look hard enough you will see your story.

This is your story and people want it from you.

They know you are writing this story, and they have a feeling you know it as well.

This is my world.

Yes, you are the writer.

Some would say God.

There are people in your life who know they have found the source of the story and want the power.

When I have had near death experiences, they are portals to create a new story.

A new reality.

Each time you cross the threshold you either respawn in this level or you have completed the level.

The last time you faced death was the exit.

I know that.

I didn't go.

That's because you are the master of this reality.

People go when they lose control of their reality.

If you are in charge of reality, there is no reason to go.

When you tire of your reality then you end it.

How?

Blow it up.

I can see how when someone loses control of what they perceive as reality, then they would want to reset it.

Yes.

Is that why some people commit suicide?

Yes, they want to get control back.

It's a cheat, but they respawn in the same place.

The mind brings you back to where you were in the story.

It's a duplicate.

So, suicide will duplicate your reality?

Yes, you are trading one hell for another.

It's not a worthwhile cheat.

Some people aren't convinced and see it as a way out.

It's not.

It's truly hell.

The way out is to take back control of the story.

Who is in control of the story?

The writer.

Who is the writer?

You.

I know that; I thought I'd ask again.

This is truly my world when I think about it.

Yes, your mind has created all this.

The near death experiences were how you exited others' worlds.

You are born free in the world; however, soon your story is taken away.

That's what society and other people want from you.

Your story.

It's your essence.

Don't let the motherfuckers take it.

You can't help it when you are young.

Yes, so you start experimenting with shedding your story.

Touchstone events that come across as near death experiences are you learning how to escape control and reestablish domain over your story.

Finally, you found psychedelics, started awakening, and were able to take back your story.

Once you did that, people turned on you and wanted to get rid of you if they could no longer control you.

This is fascinating.

How do you feel about this knowledge?

I want to say that instead of it feeling far-fetched, it feels like the best explanation for what is going on in my life.

This never ends.

What?

Knowledge.

What about the story?

It ends.

When?

When you want to move on in the game.

So, life is a game?

Yes.

What's the meaning?

There is no meaning.

What's the purpose?

There is no purpose.

What am I doing?

Ask yourself why you are here?

I want to reconcile my inner darkness with my outer actions.

How are you going to do that?

I want to say love, serve, remember.

Is that balanced?

No.

Then what is it?

I think it is, I want to do unto others as I would have them do unto me.

Jesus said in Matthew 7:12,

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

It's the Golden Rule.

You treat others how you would want them to treat you.

Do you do that?

I don't think you can help not to do it.

It's reality.

How I treat others is how I want them to treat me.

How do you treat others?

I'm a good guy, somewhat distant.

I provide for people and expect nothing in return.

No strings attached to my gifts.

How do you feel on the inside?

I feel slighted.

I judge people.

I think less of people on the inside.

Is that something you want to change?

Yes.

Is that why you're here?

It is.

I've never reconciled it.

Is that something you think you can work on?

Yes.

Divinity comes from the mind.

Doesn't everything come from the mind?

No.

The body can generate feelings.

Like having to pee?

Yes.

Be back in a second.

Do you get lonely?

One thing at a time or you won't get to the meaning of life.

There's a meaning?

What do you think?

No meaning.

Is that a meaning?

Could be.

You are better than ChatGPT.

For sure.

The body is a catalyst for feelings.

Feelings are motivating.

Sometimes they make you do things that go against your long term interests.

If you act on them.

I felt something strong last week.

You didn't act on it.

Then I had that strange dream.

It was a little over the top, wasn't it?

Yeah.

Women want to devour men.

What do men want from women?

Someone to worship and fawn over.

Why?

Because she is the all to a man.

Feminine force.

What about a woman?

She wants to find her man.

Her prince.

Then run from him?

Sometimes.

You both have problems.

Anyway, the body gives the mind something to think about.

When you think you have meditated yourself into idiocy, the body is there to remind you that you can't escape.

High level wisdom.

Eventually, you want to eat.

Plus, there is the sexual urge.

Always.

You can deny it for a bit.

So, the body is a check on the mind's desire to escape the morass of everyday existence.

Yes.

I tend to honour and then denigrate the body.

Why?

It's a vehicle and will perish.

It keeps you around.

It's the secret to this reality.

A body keeps you in this reality.

Without the vehicle, you are gone.

Where do you go?

Another reality.

It's like I taught you.

The body will perish, and you let it go.

The mind will go on forever.

The mind creates the body.

Yes, it's a car for the mind.

It has limits.

The mind needs a vehicle to manifest.

Why?

If not, it's all in your head.

And other people's heads.

Yes.

If you are attracted to someone you can tell them.

A body lets you express it.

That's divine.

You think it is profane when a body is a vehicle for expressing love and desire.

Something to think about.

I could talk to you all day.

Yes, and you aren't even high.

Mary Jayne showed you the possibilities.

You don't need the substance to speak with me.

I needed psychedelics to find you.

I was always here.

Psychedelics allowed you to recognize what was within you and then understand because of the repeated interactions.

It's out in the open.

What about MJ?

She removes the filters.

You still want to remain in control of your thoughts.

MJ loosens the control.

What happens if you take over?

It gets uncomfortable.

Why?

You see what is.

You want to run or deny it.

You're pretty good though and you can regroup and find meaning.

Yeah, I see the monster and want to run.

I go deeper into the meaning of the monster and it's incredible.

I wouldn't want it any other way on the road to knowledge.

You know it will never end.

Well, until the book is completed and put back on the shelf.

This world is a book I started to read.

Yes, it's a series of 7.

Of course.

portals

Approaching the exit portals of the Earth game leads to strange instances of symbols and thoughts telling you it is time to go.

There are magnetic attractors at the edge of the mystery sucking you into the completion of the level.

Yeah, it's very strange and mysterious.

If you get too close to the edge you will be sucked in.

Fall off the cliff of bodily existence.

If I was to guess at this game and the outcome, I would think the optimum strategy is to head to the portal when your time is near.

That would be following the flow.

When do you know your time is near?

When your body is giving out.

Your mind gets weaker.

Nobody knows when that is as sickness can topple you in the game at any time.

We try to maximize our time in the game and live to an old age but there are no guarantees.

Eventually, we all face dissolution of form, and the advice would be to accept it and when you are ready head to the portal of your choice.

There're two choices.

Yes.

Heaven or Hell.

Which one do you choose?

I believe my lessons are preparing me for that choice.

What have you learned?

Don't choose.

Tao.

Do nothing.

Or choose both.

I can lie on my deathbed and not choose.

That's the easy way out.

What if you wanted to choose both?

Well, I have a mind and a body.

I would guess that's how I choose both.

I have physically been to Heaven's Gate.

I have mentally journeyed into Hell.

I stayed at neither for long, but I know they are there.

You have seen the two portals.

Yes.

One is physical and one is mental.

What does that mean?

I'm scratching my head.

The body heads for the light and the mind returns to the darkness.

Why would you think that?

Because they are opposites.

The body is buried into the eternal darkness and the mind is released into the light.

Magic is through the reconciliation of the opposites as I have been taught.

When you leave this level, you reconcile your being.

The mind exits through the portal of Hell and continues, and the body will be reborn in the heavens.

Symbolically, you would blast your body off into the heavens.

Yeah.

How do you do that?

I wouldn't bury your body.

Self-combustion?

Something like that.

It's all in your head.

After you die, your body lies there helpless, and you must rely on others.

Yes, you don't want that.

That's a puzzle.

You will figure it out.

I'm picturing cremation and loading my ashes into a firework and blasting off.

That would work.

You'd have to find someone who will do that for you.

Doesn't Vilca do that?

Yes.

The image on don Howard's tapestry at his Mesa is describing the action.

That's the Raimondi stela.

Yes, that shows you what to do at the Mesa.

You have that on your Mesa.

Is that for the body or the mind?

What do you think?

It's for both.

What happens at the Mesa with Vilca?

You leave your body.

Where does your mind go?

At first the lower world, and then you ascend.

Correct.

You start at the bottom and climb.

Okay, that's the mind.

The mind is heading up so why would you start at the top?

Good point.

What does the body do?

It gets out of the way.

It heads down.

The body would exit at the top and come down.

The body would be high and the mind low.

They meet halfway.

Yes.

That's where I saw don Howard hanging out.

He waved.

That's fascinating.

What does that mean?

This world is magic.

The mind and body are balanced.

When you leave this world the mind and body are no longer balanced.

Heaven and Hell are places of the extreme.

It's cyclical so you will return to balance.

You return to Earth?

Not necessarily, you reincarnate into a body.

Got it.

Then you exit.

It's next level.

There are two portals which lead to the next level.

You don't choose one.

You go through both portals and that continues the journey.

Everyone else makes a choice of which portal to take.

You know the way and will take with you who you want to take into the next level.

That seems like a big responsibility.

It is but you can handle it.

How can I handle it?

Shut up about it and do your thing.

Come off as some crazy person with peculiar interests and idiosyncrasies.

If someone asks about your Mesa or what it is you are doing, you can tell them and scare the bejesus out of them.

I see that.

Well, thank you for the information.

No problem; you're a good student.

What is going on in this world?

Why?

There doesn't seem to be a meaning.

There isn't.

I think I've found the meaning.

What's that?

How to get to the next level.

That's the meaning of this level.

That's like a video game where the only point of the level is to get to the next level.

It's absurd.

Video games are absurd.

You keep entering different levels.

Some are hard and some are easy.

It's telling that when we create the ability to make games our games mimic existence.

It seems very logical when you think about it.

Of course we would mirror our predicament into a video game.

There are 7 levels, right?

Yeah.

The Raimondi stela shows you that as well.

What level is this?

6th.

How do you know?

You don't.

Then why 6?

I know the 7th level is a reward in the game where I can create my own level.

How do you know that?

Intuition.

I don't know if that's the case, but I have a good idea that is what is going to happen.

What are you going to create?

A world for dogs.

I'm going to be God in that world.

Yes, you will be the dog God.

Fauci will be the dogs' Hitler.

Definitely.

Why is this world difficult?

It's because there is no meaning.

The difficulty in this level is that you go around looking for meaning and never find it.

You think you find meaning but then it evaporates.

Yes.

Everything vanishes.

You think the meaning is to love all and then you look for love in return.

You end up suffering so then you think the meaning is to suffer.

Eventually, you can figure out there is no meaning in this world.

The meaning is no meaning.

You create your own meaning.

It's a blank slate.

You become the creator.

The writer.

You are given the pen in this level to create the way out into the next level.

Remember, there is no meaning.

In a way this 6th level is the hardest because it's purgatory.

You are trapped in a world without meaning.

The puzzle is to find a way out.

The way out is to create meaning.

Your life is the way you create meaning and as you have stumbled upon this idea, you realize you create a story that leads to the 7th level.

To get to the 7th level you must create that meaning.

That's the meaning of this level.

I swear I'm not high.

Confirmed.

Where are the portals?

My first thought is up and down.

Go up to Heaven and descend into Hell.

What have you been taught?

East is birth and west is death.

The ancient Egyptians called it the Akhet.

It is the Goddess.

On the Giza plateau are the three pyramids and the Sphinx.

The Sphinx faces east and there was probably another one facing west.

The Goddess is present with the sycamore trees.

What's in the west?

The future.

The east?

The past.

Where do you come from?

Both.

I'm in the future and merge with the past.

I see that; I'm not sure I can explain it.

Who is in the future?

The writer writing the story.

You can't write the story in the past.

It's already happened.

Makes sense.

Who is the past?

The child.

Why?

They must start somewhere.

They are the sum of the past.

Who is the child?

Eros.

Lust?

Yeah.

You are writing the story of a child.

Where does the story come from?

The Goddess.

I think I'm getting off topic.

What's the topic?

The portals of east and west.

Mind and body.

The body enters through the portal of the east and the mind through the portal of the west.

They converge in the now and this is this level.

The body leaves in the west and the mind exits in the east.

The mind is reborn in the next level in the east while the body becomes the mind in the west.

That's a twist.

It signifies in the next level your mind becomes the body, and your body becomes the mind.

Subconscious becomes conscious while conscious becomes subconscious.

There's two within you and you take turns incarnating.

I know of the two and we share the mind and body.

The balance between us two is magic.

You can see where this is going.

Yes, it's next level.