sets and props

The Goddess says I'm a misogynist.

Are you?

I don't think so.

Are you working on it?

No, it's getting worse.

Your misogyny?

Yeah.

So, you are a misogynist.

She thinks so.

Do you think so?

No, I love women.

They are great for the story.

Without them, this story would suck.

How?

One dimensional.

Just men all trying to be the alpha.

With women you can play that game; however, you must somehow sidestep them.

What do you mean?

They come to drain, poison, and kill you.

Isn't that misogyny?

No, it's the story.

So, the story is misogyny.

Not all of it.

Just some of it.

So, you admit it.

No, it's the perception.

You mean belief.

Yes.

Well, isn't belief the major factor in the story and not truth?

Yes.

So, the truth is there is no misogyny.

Correct.

The belief is there is.

What do you believe?

You mean in terms of the truth or beliefs?

Yes, what do you believe?

That's a funny paradox.

Yeah, either you believe in the truth, or you don't believe in the truth.

What do you believe?

I guess I don't believe in the truth.

Exactly.

The truth is just a belief.

It's an illusion.

Isn't belief an illusion?

Why?

Because you believe in beliefs.

That's true.

So, beliefs are a product of beliefs.

Yes.

That's absurd.

So is this story.

What is an illusion?

A story or a belief.

When the carnival is called an illusion, that's what it means.

It's a story.

I knew that.

Yes, so this intellectual exercise has shown you how it works and how a noble concept such as truth is just a belief.

Yeah, but you can argue that physics is really real.

Yes, they are the sets and props.

All stories have them.

Well, not the ones purely in mind.

Correct.

Are the stories in the mind real?

Sort of.

So, they have sets and props?

No, they are illusions.

Same with a dream.

The sets and props in a dream are illusions.

How do you know this is not a dream?

You don't.

We think it's real.

Why?

Because we all share the same sets and props.

That's the same in a dream.

I see that.

Do you question the sets and props in a dream?

Definitely not.

It's background.

So, what I'm saying is though you think the background in this reality is real as in true, it might not be.

What do you believe?

I believe they are real.

Why?

The ground would collapse.

Reality would go boom.

Why?

The story would fall apart.

I can see why the story must remain cohesive then.

Yes, if we all started questioning it, then it would blow up.

Is that what happens?

Yes, the end of the age.

Peak absurdity.

Like Idiocracy?

Precisely.

What question am I dodging with this tangent?

I forget.

Hang on.

I think it's where you are a misogynist?

I don't believe it.

The perception is you are.

So, I'm at odds with perception.

Yes.

Isn't perception the consensus belief?

Correct.

It's not true then.

Truth is a belief.

The belief is that you are a misogynist.

I'm not.

I'm just saying.

Well, the truth sucks then.

Exactly.

Stick with beliefs.

Have a strong belief system and that's all the armour you need.

ticketmaster

If you don't go mad, you will find happiness.

How does that work?

Whatever was designed to drive you crazy didn't work.

How do you get past it?

Ignoring, not caring, and doing nothing.

All of it.

Then you are happy.

Allies and protection you have cultivated.

How?

You respect the plants and don't take them seriously.

I thought they wanted seriousness?

Who told you that?

A bunch of people on the path.

They said it was work and not play.

I think that was to encourage you to integrate the experience as opposed to thinking it is just a trip.

A mindfuck trip and you are done.

Most people take drugs because they want to be entertained.

Blow their mind.

It's the same reason you'd go to a theme park or a sporting event.

Theatre.

You got it.

Drugs are entertainment.

We are drawn to pleasure and entertainment.

Friday nights are for Netflix and chill.

Get your favourite foods, drinks, and indulge.

You can get that with drugs if you want and enter into another reality.

That's why some people love reading.

They get lost in the story.

It's the same thing with drugs.

So, I'm not unique?

Yeah, you are.

How so?

You don't find them pleasurable in a physical sense.

You mean Mary Jayne?

Yeah.

I can get a rush of lust, which is nice.

The other purported effects of bliss, stoning, appetite, and amusement aren't as much.

Why is that?

I think it's my shamanic training.

You were trained?

No, I experienced altered states.

I didn't get much training.

I went to the deep end and was tossed in the pool.

I had to learn to swim.

You think that is the best way?

No, but it was for me.

How do you know?

It worked.

There are gateway drugs, so you get your feet wet before you try the heavier ones.

I didn't do that.

I flew to Peru and trekked into the Amazon jungle.

I then drank a couple cups of Ayahuasca and went on a journey.

I wasn't prepared at all.

They give you a diet and sexual restrictions to follow so that you will take it seriously.

Did you do that?

For the most part I did.

Pre and post.

So, were you serious about it?

I think so.

Why?

I was trying to figure it out.

I didn't know what it meant other than that I'd meet these spirits.

Mostly the spirits were the Goddess, and this dark figure I had trouble identifying.

He sometimes said he was God.

Sometimes, he said he was the Devil.

I didn't know what to think at times.

I ran from him.

I engaged him.

All in all, those were the two main characters.

In retrospect, I see it.

The Goddess and Dion.

Same thing with Magic Mushrooms where there were those two as well.

Then with Mary Jayne I'd get the same, but the experience with MJ solidified my identification of Dion.

I was never unsure of the Goddess; however, my shadow's identity was always slippery.

I had mostly figured him out with Ayahuasca and Huachuma, but I had lingering doubts.

My experiences with MJ allowed me to fully understand him.

Do you think you fully understand him?

As much as I need to.

I think it works both ways.

How so?

He's not omnipotent and struggled to understand me as well.

Why?

I'm unique.

No one understands me.

They try.

They can only get so far before they get scared.

Why is that?

The darkness.

It scares you, imagine someone else?

Yeah, they'd run.

Get the fuck out.

What do I do?

Nothing.

Maybe say their name.

Yeah, that's a brilliant move.

You did that to me.

It's incredible in its efficacy.

You do nothing.

If you did something, the trick would fall apart.

Do you remember what happened?

Yeah, you said my name and I ran.

Then my mind did the rest.

I was my own worst enemy.

You didn't do anything.

That's brilliant.

That is the world's best magician at play.

You manifest and say hi.

It scares the fuck out of people and they run.

Especially if they do drugs.

All the people you meet who are habitual drug users you easily get in their heads and scare.

Some recover.

Why?

You do no harm.

They realize it after a while.

Other people aren't so sure.

That's why people tell you that you are in their dreams.

If you try to forcefully get in someone's head, they can defend the goal.

If you casually wander in the unlocked door, they can't stop you.

Drug use opens a port and makes you vulnerable.

A networking analogy.

Yeah, it works.

Take drugs and you need a software patch for the vulnerabilities.

Is there one?

No.

When others fuck with you, they get smacked down.

Why is that?

They try to force their way in.

Sure, but you leave the front door unlocked.

Correct, I invite in the attackers.

Why would you do that?

It is easier to control them.

Why?

You see them right away if they walk in the front door.

It is a trap.

How so?

They can't resist.

If they would go in through the side door that has been left open by drug use, they would not be detected, however, everyone will try the front door first.

Why?

Human nature.

It's the flow.

Least resistance.

See if you can get in the front door.

You let them in.

You identify them and send them on their way.

You have the capacity to deal with them.

Okay, that's cool, but that means your method of getting into people's heads is not the flow.

That is correct.

I thought you were supposed to follow the flow?

Well, you are seeking balance.

Everyone is coming in the front door, so you go to the side door for balance.

Yes, that's what I do.

Everyone locks the front door.

The sequence is a knock at the front door.

You are let in or denied.

You go to the side door and look for a way in.

If you find an unlocked entry, you enter, if not, you move on.

Who gets let in the front door?

Those you want to play with.

Oh, okay I see it.

That's interest and attraction.

So, you say you skip that part?

Sometimes.

It's random.

You do both, don't you?

Yeah, Paul knocks on the front door and Dion goes to the side door.

There are two streams.

Do you now see how it is different?

Yeah, people act in a unified psychic field and go to one door at a time.

You are dual and knock at the front and side door at the same time.

Well, you don't knock at the side door.

You see if it is unlocked.

If it is, you enter.

How are you not detected?

Paul is distracting them at the front door.

Ah.

Isn't this unethical?

Why?

You are uninvited.

The door is unlocked.

That is the invitation.

They took drugs and unlocked the side door.

You should be aware of that.

That's not taught.

It kind of is.

You are warned about it.

When you take plant medicines such as Ayahuasca or Huachuma, you are told about the probability you will meet what you perceive as light and dark spirits in your travels.

Some people will tell you how to dismiss the dark spirits and thoughts.

Yes, that's spiritual bypassing.

People use that term all the time.

I never got what it meant.

Love and light, baby!

Those people are intolerable.

One dimensional.

I never understood spiritual materialism either.

What is that?

Beats me.

What do you think it is before you look it up?

I'd guess it means embodying your new found holiness and not doing any integration.

That's pretty close.

It means collecting spiritual experiences to boost your ego as opposed to transcendence of the ego.

You mean practices such as yoga, meditation, and acquiring knowledge to inflate oneself as spiritual.

Yeah, that's good.

Do you do that?

I keep to myself.

If anything, I'm more weird and creepy as a result of my spiritual path.

I wouldn't even call it spiritual anymore.

I did at first, before I understood it.

Do you practice yoga or meditation?

No.

Why not?

They seem like achievement markers, so you can assure yourself that you are spiritual and enlightened.

Do you think you are enlightened?

I'm awake.

Two times.

I see a carnival and the Goddess of the West.

The Goddess of the West comes to take you home.

Home as in death of the body.

Yes, the carnival is her illusion, and she decides when you leave.

If you wish to say I'm enlightened, then my definition of enlightenment becomes awakening twice and seeing the ticketmaster who tells you to leave her amusement park.

No one will believe you.

I know.

What were we talking about?

Seriousness and whether you should take the plant medicine path seriously.

That's a test.

Why?

Because you should and then when you get to the resolution of the journey, you drop the seriousness.

That's clever.

Yeah, you gotta do the work.

Then you must know when to stop taking it seriously.

When is that?

It's obvious, you see the carnival.

Why would you enter a carnival and take it seriously?

It's supposed to be fun.

What happens if you take the carnival seriously after seeing it?

The same thing that happens to everyone.

The Goddess tells you to leave.

Why?

You're a killjoy.

You are going to tell everyone about her carnival.

Isn't that what you are doing?

Yes.

She wants me to leave.

Why are you still here?

I don't take it seriously.

It's fun.

So, you are awake and having fun?

Correct.

If you awaken, see the carnival, and take it seriously, you are cooked.

Why?

You'll run.

Don't run.

Laugh.

You can choose what reality to live within.

It's easy to adapt your beliefs into this reality.

Other people will think you are crazy.

It's because we accept consensus reality.

That's what grounds us all.

There's a consensus narrative we follow.

That's why reality is shared.

We have all tuned our dial to that frequency.

Ah, I see it.

Yeah, so you take control of your dial and tune into another band.

That's a good metaphor to explain mind states.

Ram Dass would talk about changing channels.

This is similar.

He never told you what those other channels were.

Yes, because he was a Harvard psychologist.

What do you mean by that?

He knew the human mind couldn't handle the other states of reality.

Research all pointed towards people going crazy.

He was doing it.

He went a little crazy; however, because he was aware, he was able to come back.

Why didn't he teach that?

It's not ethical.

You'd be responsible for the dropouts.

The ones who permanently exit would be on your conscience.

It's best not to teach it.

What's in these alternate realities?

Different stories.

You can make them fit into consensus reality if you wish.

You might have to bend and twist them, but they will fit.

How does that work?

It's the same energy.

The amount of paint is the same.

You paint a different picture using the same paint.

Another sharp metaphor.

Yeah, I see it.

Consensus reality gives you an acceptable image of reality.

When you tune in to a different frequency, i.e. a perspective, you can give the snow globe a shake and see things differently.

The potential is enormous.

You shape feminine energy into a serpent and then watch it play out in this world.

That's pretty cool.

You take masculine energy and make a bull.

Then you observe the mating habits of men.

Have a laugh.

Disney teaches that happiness is when all your dreams come true.

No, that is the ending of your story.

It's happily-ever-after.

The moral of that story is that you find happiness when you leave the carnival.

You will not find happiness in the carnival.

You find madness.

That is true, however, I found that if you get past the madness, you find happiness.

How so?

I don't know.

Then how do you know you found happiness?

It's a feeling.

I can't explain it.

What's the feeling?

You are content.

Why are you content?

I figured out the story.

You aren't supposed to know until you leave the carnival and are shown.

Wouldn't that make you mad?

Yes, a little.

So, even in your discovery of happiness you will find madness.

Correct.

I found the carnival.

Doesn't that make you mad?

No.

Why?

I wanted to know.

Isn't that your dream?

Yeah.

Then that should be a happily-ever-after.

Yes, but there's always more.

You wanted to know the origin of beliefs and the meaning of life.

You pretty much found them.

Yes, it makes me happy as it should.

Why?

I made my dreams come true.

It's a fancy word for desires.

It's sanded down for consumption.

Clearly.

Okay, so you can now live happily-ever-after.

Correct.

Why don't you do that?

I am.

Yes, but it's the end of your story and your story isn't over.

That is correct.

Why?

Who said that happily-ever-after means nothing happens?

No one, it is assumed.

Why?

Because if you do something you will fuck up your happiness.

It's logical.

You are continuing at the risk of destroying your happiness.

It won't.

Why not?

I know it's a carnival game.

It doesn't matter what happens.

Why not?

It doesn't matter.

It's a story.

moonday

Monday, the day of the moon, makes the cannabis stronger and the result is a day full of conspiracies. Shaping energy into new narratives causes conspiracy theory thinking. There are many high functioning people who don't understand this cosmic dramatic principle and they sound like crackpots. If they only knew their conspiracies are all true with the caveat the unfolding of what they understand isn't occurring in this reality. A bit of a mind fuck I'd say.

As I have previously written, the pyramids encode the number 7 and are testaments to the knowledge of vibrational cycles. Apollo's birthday is celebrated on the 7th of each month. Why is it 7? It's a reminder. What's the reminder? There are infinite stories being told by Dionysos in the labyrinth called life. He takes the energy and creates narratives in multiple consciousness planes. The genius is in reshaping the same energy into parallel stories within these planes of existence. Seven is the key to Apollo figuring out the game being played by the madman Dionysos and seeing beyond the veil. To get divinatory knowledge what you do is choose the obvious seven narratives that fit into and animate your life. Because you are ensconced in consensus reality, it's hard to unravel what's going on in parallel realities. The blinders of immediate experience and emotion obscure your ability to see, seeing in the sense of knowledge of what's ahead once you step through the doorway. You cross the threshold. I am getting at entering a parallel story and then reading ahead in the twisted drama of life. Because you haven't bought into that story as reality, it is easy to do. This is how you peer into the future because you see what's going to happen in a parallel dimension and then adapt that foresight to your situation as your guide. So, why Apollo? He has the power to interpret the visions. He can make sense of Pythia's visionary insanity at the Temple of Apollo at Delphi. The chaos of all these stories pours into her and she just spits out nonsense. I do the same in altered consciousness. The knowledge pours out of me and then my power of Apollo slows it down and can examine it. Then he tells me what it means.

I crack the code through changing consciousness. Drugs take me to where I want to go and I'm good at not falling off the cliff into madness. Other explorers can use meditation or breath work to alter consciousness. Maybe spirituality will get them there. They can touch something with sex. I want to go fast! I want to get to the knowledge and bathe in it. I can handle it and so off I go. Mary Jane I can work with because I can throttle the outpouring once I get there. I can't do that with Huachuma. Huachuma is a little out there. At Chavín de Huantar in the Andes mountains it was so strong I remember noticing how far gone I was. The same intoxication was present at the final ceremony while we were celebrating Parker and don Howard's life. I was gonzo and couldn't be present.

The universe is large enough to hold the energy which makes the content of the book of life. The book is infinitely entertaining to one who immerses themselves in the story. The labyrinth of experience will truly get you lost. From afar you marvel at the ingenious creation of Dionysos. As the actor, you see how the twists hypnotize you into forgetting you are acting, and you can fully commit to the part. Apollo the genius can see what this madman, the mad hatter, is up to. Even Apollo is amazed. "You are twisted! This is insane! The master storyteller, thespian, and wizard of the grand stage I bow to you, Dionysos." Apollo would expect nothing less from this god but still to see it in all its glory is the most breathtaking thing to witness. What a gift to the gods. Infinite entertainment on a super-sized and unfathomable scale. Every genre covered and all is fresh and new. The divine playwright inserts free will at certain points and with the choice made, pens the next chapter.

I sense we all have seven main storylines. Or at least that's what Apollo told me. There are others, but we aren't that interested now. These are mine:

Horror

Gangster

Politics

Human Drama/Physical and Mental

Magicians

King and Queen

God and Goddess

I'll replace the monarchy with a psychological thriller. A lot of people like Aliens/UFO stories. Ghosts. I haven't really explored those narratives.

I sat down on a fallen tree log out in the forest and made the connection of the wilderness being the road you travel between planes of consciousness. The wind picks up as you wander through the mental and physical wilderness. I sensed the same experience in travelling between cities here on earth. Cities are suppositories of stories and full of distractions and spells. We get lost in the big cities and need to escape to the country to find ourselves. Seven chakras hold the key to the seven stories of our lives. The stories are colourful descriptions of energy cycles called vibration that are oscillating between high and low. Dionysos, the master of the drama, crafts these vibrations into stories. He is so good at it he can make multiple compelling stories from the same bucket of energy. Dionysos wrote them all using the same formation of energy. He is the master at manipulating energy. All the stories must balance. Reshaping reality can't leave remainders, or it doesn't work.

Mary Jane doesn't put me in a questionable and delusional state that the more potent plant medicines can bring you into. There's a saneness to it. The acquired knowledge has a plausibility to it. The knowledge pours in, and I can grasp it without spinning it into a far-fetched story. There's truth to the stories from the other psychedelics but the onset is too much, and I question it. I thought of a basic story which can describe my life. It has a gangster vibe to it and is reminiscent of the simplicity of a story like Pulp Fiction. It's a highly entertaining take on recent events with the bonus it is very easy to project the result of current actions into the future. A level down from that story would be a horror flick replete with blood sucking monsters coming for you.

In one of these stories, the feminine monster is feeding off the life force of lust and the victim gets noticeably thinner to the point where people start mentioning it in casual conversation. There's a worldwide conspiracy designed to steal my power and sell it on the black market. The femme fatale charged with stealing my power falls in love with me and the operation is put in jeopardy. She's the bait but the inner conflict between love and greed becomes too much to handle. Everything falls apart and the co-conspirators flee. There's a vampiric force feeding off me and draining me of my life force. Once hollowed out I am discarded until I can fatten up with that valuable life force again. It's the cyclical coming and going of attraction. Once I am peaking with strength again, the parasites return. In some planes of consciousness, it's lust, in others it's the spiritual life force, or the blood being sucked out by vampires. In the realm of magic, it is my acquisition of the power to cast spells that others plot to steal. At the level of God and Goddess, I step into my power as God while others worship me, hoping to be given some of my power. They appeal to the Goddess for help in getting to me. There are many ways to interpret this energy. In this realm, shame forces her to flee after filling herself of my power of lust. In retrospect, I can see the clues given out in the behaviour of others. The clues are referencing the story and how it plays out and moves along. Some clues have surprised me. Especially about lust. It makes me smile.

I have repeatedly seen the multiple storylines in psychedelic journeys. I didn't understand them, but I see it clearly now. Different stories at various levels are always playing out. Multiple storylines and choose your own adventure thrills. Reality is all stories and there's a bunch of them. You can pick the story. If you read and act them out, they become true. The book has the story written down as opposed to it being acted out. Everyone wants access to that book of life! Within all the stories are choice and free will points. With the help of the director Apollo, the actor chooses a path, and that story is written up until the next checkpoint in the drama. There's no free will if it has been written. The choice activates the writer Dionysos to pen the coming scenes.

You can get what you wish for if you are friends with the writer. The form your wish materializes into you may not recognize, but it is what you wanted. You get the energetic result however the master storyteller Dionysos plays with the energy and shapes it into a device to move the story along. You don't know what he will do to make the drama more interesting. For instance, the character of my friend Parker was awesome, but he was too good. Eventually, the story would suffer. In this realm he had an accident, in another realm he was sacrificed like Jesus, and in another he was getting in the way of the operation the gangsters were running, so he was eliminated. These are all the same story of energy coming into existence, shining, and then crashing into the void. Dionysos has many ways to write the mercurial tale.

Dionysos writes for one genre and then crafts the energy to fit other planes of consciousness, which are simply different stories all involving the same energy. The energy is shaped into compelling dramas. This can get funny especially if you write sex acts into one level that are repeated through all levels. He wrote a bawdy piece and then had to figure out how it works at the classier levels. If sex toys are part of the lower levels of consciousness, how does that fit into the sophisticated level of King and Queen? Time to get creative or just fetishize the royal sex life.

Human drama is always compelling, though slow at times to develop. It always gets high approval ratings and thus it is the common frequency we all lock to and want to act within. We want to star at this level, but you know if it is not working for you, find your niche and make that your game.

The gangster storyline is a favourite of mine. I like operating at the magic level; however the simplicity of the gangsters is entertaining. I can see friends playing great roles in this drama. One of my friends has a great name for a mobster. He's a great actor and going places in this celestial drama. He'll get a spinoff or leading role for sure. What a masterful actor on the multiple stages of life. He's the femme fatale's true love. They join forces and think they can mess with me and steal my power. Time reveals they have bitten off more than they can chew. I make her fall madly in love with me and she must choose. She goes for him but turns out he's secretly gay and takes the treasure for himself. She is left with nothing. The Goddess screams at Dionysos: "You're a misogynist! Why would you write that ending? Asshole." She takes advantage of me, and he takes advantage of her. I wrote a preposterous story for him. He can't please her. I can! Then she fell in love with me and had to eventually choose. Dionysos responds: "How about I write a nicer one where you live happily ever after with your children? Nobody wants to watch that. The horror one has you sucking the life force away but in the human drama you change and make amends while your children care for you. The life force you drained can be the financial stability for you and your kids. You want that? A misogynist wouldn't write an ending. They'd want you to suffer for what you did to that poor soul. Or maybe he deserved it. Hiding his shit, he got what's coming to him."

You manifested this. It's your fantasy come true, and the gangster storyline is so compelling. The outcome in the realm of the celestial monarchy is more refined. You must dress up the intrigue in drama at the court where the Queen plots to assassinate the King and run off with her lover. It's selected theatres for that movie because as a species we are tiring of the whole royalty thing. There's a segment of royalists who still get entertained by these stories, so we keep it going.

I like switching channels and changing reality. The gangster one gives me big clues. It's so in your face. Dumb but fun and predictable. In the gangster version there's multiple psychic projections of the femme fatale. She morphs between bodies and engages the intended mark with her trickery. No wonder she's disgusted with you since she knows all your dark secrets, but they're hers as well. She keeps coming back to you, unable to think clearly because only you can satisfy her. Does she love you or does she just want to take advantage of you? Why does it have to be either - or? To further the story along is a wise wizard, like a Yoda, dropping clues and advice. At first, I don't trust him, but then I see he is a mirror for my life, and I can run things past him first to see how they work out.

When you figure out your seven stories it is easy to get paranoid seeing it play out on different levels. How the hell is this possible? Now I know how I peered into the future with Huachuma. I saw some stories being projected on the big screen and then the common elements to the stories played out in my normal life. Which story is really real? Just because I lock to this story's frequency doesn't mean it's the real one. It's just consensus reality. We agree it's real, so we leave it at that. Madness will ensue if you really think about it. The antidote is none of it is real. They are stories. Magic. Coincidence. Stupidly real. All intuition. Do the other actors know? I know. They don't know I know because they are unsure. They take psychedelic drugs with me and get an inkling, a brief look into what's going on, but then they let it go. There's an element of belief involved. They dismiss it and find spirituality, go off on some trip to be holy or of service, and pit the light against the darkness. If they only knew it's all an act.

The gangster story continues - I keep hinting at I know the game and I make others perplexed. What does he mean? Does he know what we are up to? Is he playing along? He knows something. I don't understand what he knows but it's something significant. So, he's playing along and messing with us? Is he going to screw up our plan? He's just crazy. He seems pretty genius level. He can see into the game. He's only going along with it because he knows who we are. Is he going to let us get away with it? Who are we? Maybe I am who he says I am. Is he mad or does he know? I want to react with some anger or incredulity that they would play that part to hurt me. Then I realized it's a drama and they are the best actors, so lost in their parts everyone thinks it's real. That's the sign of a great actor. They don't know they are acting. If they know then the performance suffers. So, you're the one who knows we are all acting. Is this going to affect your performance? Nah, because it was my goal in the drama and now that I know it will add so much spice to the drama. The audience will be like "he knows" and he is going to play along. When things start working out like he saw in vision and predicted everyone is going to be amazed. However, if you keep giving the story away, they will have to lock you up, so keep cool. You can make yourself paranoid from thinking they know. I want to know about the secrets of existence, but I don't need them in on it. Dionysos says, "Don't worry, they won't put in the effort to get this far, or I'll scare them away. You're just paranoid! I just write in a few coincidences they spout and don't know why they are doing it.... or do they?"

I'm in the human drama. That's my game but I can peer into the other ones. Not only that, but I can read ahead in the other ones and then figure out my situation. I take the energy and mold it into my world. It's not as crass as the gangster level or as highbrow as King and Queen royalty. What a different world that is. Pockets of it in this world. Same as horror story. Dionysos is mad. He must be. How can you write all this and be sane?

The magician knows the secret to reshaping the energy. This is how the story plays out. Dionysos is going to let you write part of the story. What will you write? Are you a good enough writer to write the drama you want with the result you desire? Don't make it dull. Master illusion. Of course, the great storyteller Dionysos was known everywhere in antiquity. Others have seen through the veil, especially in ages long gone. He gets his due. I'm starting to create good stories. I have the horror reptile monster thing. The gangster story. Our human drama. Magicians. King and Queen. Goddess and God. What just is. I can get a good idea of how my life will play out until I hit the next fork in the road which is a fancy way of saying make a choice.

This Mary Jane is like an Ayahuasca rollercoaster, and I need to slow down! This is an incredible outpouring of knowledge and stories, but my head is starting to spin. When's the intermission? This is intense. Not uncomfortable, but the energy exchanged to access this knowledge is a good amount. I need a few days off. I must find ways to anchor me here or I'll go off into another world. I wonder how good am I at faking I'm not high? I imagine just like acting, you get better with experience. MJ is stronger today. The story of stories was quite entertaining. I want my dramas to have it all and draw in audiences. They will discuss who is the better actor - Goddess or God? Who gets the awards? Who wins?

I've wondered about this before but in my life, I notice how I either push people away or they leave me. I have theories why that is, and there is more to discover. I know I want to be alone in order to recharge. My energetic battery gets drained by others, and I need to get away in order to fill up. This is connected to the predatory story where monsters want to devour me as well as the simple gangster story where others scheme to capture my essence and bottle it up. In this world I started losing a bunch of weight. It's undeniably true and funny. The humour is in knowing it's a drama. What's not so funny is I must get away, and it causes loneliness. I make connections with others and then it is severed. I'm left with my dog who I love dearly. My energy powers my family so they stick around. My dual nature is omnipresent. I want to make my kids happy by writing good parts for them. Aw, he loves family. What about his dark side? He is going to do what? Oh, I don't like his character anymore. I'm beauty. Then I'm not.

The mind is in a different consciousness plane than the body, but they are intrinsically connected. The mind and body retain a connection though the stories can differ. The mind can invent a different reality as compared to the physical world. Someone who is said to be living in their head is truly living in their mind and needs to come back to reality. The physical reality instead of the mental reality. The mental stress will affect the physical body. Is the opposite true? Unable to do the things you used to do as you age will cause depression.

If you equate being high with secret knowledge, then you'll get paranoid. All my life I was kept away from drugs. Once he gets them, he will crack reality and then it's going to reveal all the secrets. Slow thoughts down and then you can examine and understand them. To get this far, you must approach madness. Take a deep breath and come back. I went out far today. MJ gives me a hyper mind and I can get caught up in the adventure and forget who I am. These stories work in many ways where you remember you are a magician and forget you are everything. The more you learn, the madder you will appear. However, I have the power to hold it all together and look like I'm okay. The psychosis is manageable with MJ. She takes you to that place, but you can function and modulate the high and stay in that zone. I slow down the knowledge revealed so I can make sense of it.

The Moonday ended with the Great Goddess teaching more about the path of love. All the stories I was witness to, have as a possible ending love. They can be fairy tales where you live happily ever after. Even the Pulp Fiction story of gangsters, betrayal, and greed can be transformed with love. Love permeates all levels of consciousness.

This was a three-day retreat being high with Mary Jane. What normally takes months to crack open, all pours out with her. I sense she takes me to the edge of madness, and I can hang out there for a while. I slow down the frenetic and whirling energy enough so I can read it and take it in. I'm beyond grateful, over the moon you could say. This has been perfect. The unveiling of what I can do now has come at the precise moment in my life I can use these methods of clairvoyance with wisdom. Drugs are wasted on the young. There is no way they can fathom the grandiosity of what is happening without study and experience. My early abstinence from all mind-altering substances is good fortune, aided by the guiding hands of my benefactors. I sense how drugs can destroy a mind which is impressionable and not ready for the profundity of the experience. I baked in a base level for my mind over the years. I recognize sanity and insanity, know when I straddle the line, and I leave a trail of breadcrumbs so I can return.

Mary Jane wins. She gives Dionysos the ideas and desire to write this truly twisted book.

big picture thoughts

Plato declared: "Time is the moving image of eternity." I heard this a while ago and sort of understood. I thought it meant that eternity marches on endlessly and the waypoints are marked by time as it unfolds.

My recent trip to Peru involved seeing into the future. I peered into events that were going to take place in my life and six months later I can report that these events happened. The divinatory experience didn't give me a play by play of what was to take place, but I got the outline. It calls into question free will as I could have altered the future I witnessed. This gives the illusion of free will. I mean if the future is a known quantity, then everything is just to unfold, and you swim along in the current. How do I reconcile this? It seems quite easy. The unfolding of eternity would eventually reveal to me I could see into the future and alter it. My decisions are known and will play out so I do retain free will because I don't know what I'm going to do. The universe knows.

Because of what has happened, I got a complete understanding of what Plato revealed. I have been taught repeatedly that all that exists is the "Now" and any conceptions of past and future are peculiar human inventions based on an ability to remember what you have been witness to and subsequently being able to project into the future with reasonable confidence. Also, being able to objectify our surroundings allows us to sense the passage of time, especially when we connect it to motion. The rising and setting of the sun and its return to various waypoints over the course of 365 days gives us valuable markers which we in turn use to mark passages of what we call time. Where Plato comes in is because everything exists all now and is revealed to our senses in an orderly fashion.

The way I explained it to myself is that eternity is one big painting. For some reason we are all drawn to look at the same spot on the painting. Originally, we just saw the base layers of the composition before we started noticing more subtle details. As we move along more is revealed of this giant work of art. We start to see more of the picture, and it all starts to come into focus. As a species, we lock to the same vibration which prevents us from seeing the big picture or being able to go deeper into the shadows and contours of the art. If we can discover a way to escape from the frequency that imprisons us, then we are free to explore the off-limit portions of the painting and see the big picture.

That is what the magical plant medicine cactus Huachuma did for me. The heavy use of it every other day over a two-week span changed my vibration. I uncoupled from consensus reality and went off into some uncharted territory. I was witnessing my psyche split out into others where I could see parts of myself in them. Different hierarchies of being were revealed to me. There were planes of consciousness which mirrored each other but were telling a different story. I was King at one level and my actions were interpreted in novel ways at other levels. I was God and I was waking up. At this level it manifested as the destruction of our world. And I saw into the future. I saw myself as God finding my Goddess. King with Queen. Bull with Heifer and at this level I found who I had been searching for. As I cycled through different frequencies a new story would emerge. I was shown what was going to happen and at another level I warned myself to change course and leave it be. I made my choice which coincided with what I was shown.

It's all now and we are all one, cut from the same cloth. At the top level are the all; a step down and we become Goddess and God. As we cycle down into different frequencies of being, we become the many. At our core, we are fantastic storytellers and eternity is our greatest play yet.

psychosis

The mind enables magic. It's the alteration of consciousness which unlocks the occult. The result also means you start acting a little off and talking about strange occurrences as well as having weird thoughts. Others start to whisper and then eventually tell you about the appearance of you having gone mad. You must pause at this moment and either accept it or see it for what it is. The important thing is you can question it.

If you can do this, you're not crazy. Others project this mental state onto you in order to make sense of their world. Your world is uniquely your world. Don't let them get into your head because their intention is to control you through this manipulation. When you call them out on this, they get defensive and try to blame you. Trust your intuition at this point. Record your thoughts so that when it all plays out you have a record of it and hold the receipts. This is important because you will forget about what your inner compass warned you about. The rose coloured glasses are pretty thick, so you only get glimpses of what is going down.

The diagnosis of a mental condition strikes me as a Catch-22. By Catch-22 I am referencing a situation where regardless of what you do, you will be in the wrong, have a negative outcome, or your views/understanding will not be valid. I came across how pernicious the Catch-22 is during some mandatory training I had to participate in. For most, they don't realize what's going on but, in my case, where I question everything, I thought the training was ingenious, yet I saw the deceit, so I just laughed at it, went along with it, and then developed contempt for these people.

If you show signs of psychosis or just that you are a little off, everyone in society accepts that you are in a state of non-reality and can dismiss you as crazy. The acceptance that if you do not agree with the canons of consensus reality you are nuts is so pervasive that it is not questioned. The weak mind says that if people think I'm crazy, I must be crazy.

If you know the rate at which you are vibrating determines your reality, then of course you will question the mainstream consensus. You get the conspiracy theorist label and a cultural strike against you. There's a lot at stake to convince you this is reality, in essence it's your imprisonment and you dutifully go along with it. Breaking mentally free of these chains puts you in opposition to everyone else. You must trust yourself, not the shouting masses and their labelling. It's exceedingly difficult and will further your confusion until you just want it to stop, take a pill to numb the upset, and go back to being a good drone in a sick society. With the gift of hindsight, I can see my intuition and understanding have been correct which further encourages me to trust my inner guides.

I'm very clever and a devout non-conforming contrarian so when I experienced psychosis it was a gift. I remember it well because it was when I first drank plant medicine in 2013. The break from reality scared me. Outside of the ceremony I was hearing things, seeing things, and confused. Once my mind recovered, I was able to face the fear again and start to explore. I've done it a bunch of times.

So, I can read about mental conditions being the result of overloading the brain and the brain producing non-ordinary states to try and make sense of the stimulus and condition. Or you have just tapped into another reality and the weight of culture is telling you that you are crazy. When you hold culture in contempt eventually you'll get past this block and be able to explore. I can go into and out of these realities with ease. You can call me psychotic as I tell stories of these adventures. For someone who is crazy, I sure am highly functioning and can hide it well. Or you can see that crazy is just a convenient label used to dismiss others you don't understand and don't want to understand. I'm going to upset your world and if you don't accept alternate realities you will cling to a society that is fundamentally sick and will imprison you for the rest of your life. The rumblings to escape will come and go, but you will run away when they do.

There are a lot of pills to numb you. As you drift away from the frequency that locks you into this hell world you are prescribed something that maintains your rate of vibration. I just want to fit in and be normal. Why not accept the gift of clairvoyance you have been given? Break free of the chains and give the jailer the middle finger. Be the joker in a world of obedient slaves. 

just believe

So much of our political discourse contains within it a need for conformity and belief in a set of values. For a lot of these ideals then is needed what is called virtue signalling so that people know you are on board with their beliefs. If you have been taking in any of the impeachment hearings going on in the States, it is quite the exercise to listen to both sides of the debate and their cheerleaders. The truth is undefined so instead it becomes a massive propaganda outreach on both sides of the aisle and an attempt to sway opinion through cherry picking sound bites and reporting only on events beneficial to your point of view and beliefs. It sums up what I have been feeling deep down for months now as to me anyway truth seems to be malleable and hard to hang your hat on, like sand slipping through your fingers. Our conception of the universe is the truth until we invariably gather more knowledge and find out more about its structure and function and then we have to revise our theories which then becomes our current truth. Truth is an exercise in consensus. Consensus is derived from the belief of others. Take for instance when we have to make a decision on something. We gather data that helps us make up our minds. Eventually we run out of time and have to make a decision based on the collected data. We could never get to a hundred percent buy in; we'd most likely be dead before that happens. So we move ahead with near certainty and then all the little errors in our thinking and decisions compound with interest and on it goes.

Remember that commercial where 4 out of 5 dentists recommend Trident sugarless gum because it didn't promote tooth decay? That became fact and sugarless gum was the way to go to be more healthy. What about the maligned fifth dentist? They were the real thinker here. They knew chewing sugarless gum wouldn't help, because a sugar addict will just get their fix somewhere else. They understood there had to be a fundamental change in diet in order to prevent tooth decay. But they were silenced, losing out to the majority interest who enforced their beliefs through consensus.

I have often wondered why smart people get sucked into religion. I was educated on this very topic by plant medicines. They have consistently shown me how your beliefs triumph over all. Not only that but the cultural beliefs you are indoctrinated in, whether you believe them or not, will have to be confronted as well and without a hardened counterbalance to these beliefs they will win you over. In Christianity you are saved by faith and not works. All you have to do to be saved is believe in Jesus. Somebody somewhere during that tumultuous time in the classical world knew what's up. By just believing, you give power and currency to the idea.

Ephesians 2:8-9

8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:

9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.

Psychically you will manifest these beliefs. You will experiences them in dreams, altered states of consciousness, and stress and they will be real. How can you not then believe, regardless of the absurdity?

I will submit myself as exhibit A. I have written previously about my encounters with icons of Christianity in altered states of consciousness; these psychic entities alive within my culture that penetrate and inculcate our individual psychic energy. The only way I moved past this trapping of culture is because I had a stronger belief in a goddess that couldn't be shaken and that allowed me to move past the trap door laid out on my path. If that had not been present there is a good chance I would have fallen for it as well and I’d be currently selling you on the merits of Jesus.

Picture a circle and call the circumference your beliefs. Within that circle is where you will find truth, with the truth always depending on what your fundamental beliefs are. For example, there are 24 hours in a day and at high noon is when the sun is the highest in the sky. This is palpably true. However you have been deceived by motion into thinking that there are cycles and days. Furthermore it is motion that fools you into thinking there are sunrises and sunsets. The sun is shining while hurtling through space. If the earth was hit by an asteroid that knocked us off course then our whole concept of time would change. Our worldview is fundamentally shaped, or may I say clouded, by our beliefs.

Think of the advertising industry that I play a part in. The trick is to get people to believe in or want something. I manipulate people into buying things they don't need through creating wants and desires, all the while appealing to vanity and ultimately ego. It’s a benign way of exploiting the psyche of the human being and it works! Companies and brands spend millions of dollars in order to get people to like and buy their products. The consumer has to think they need the product or want the product regardless of whether it works or will improve their lives. Obviously the best products actually do what they advertise but truth in advertising is a fungible thing. We do have standards but those are co-opted by money, lawyers, and fine print in a small font.

From this you can see the point about my original premise that we can use selective information to propagandize the electorate into believing only one side of the story. It is a story precisely because it is a belief. It’s the old axiom that there are two sides to every story and even though you might not like your opponent’s narrative it is valuable to listen to it. When discussing politics with friends and family invariably if you are not agreeable or a pushover there are arguments. While trying to make counter points I have been accosted with the accusatory “Have you been watching Fox News?“ line more than once in order to shut down any challenging point of view. Actually I try to watch a variety of news in order to shape my beliefs and hopefully develop some kind of understanding. I’m not naive enough to believe I know the truth but I’m smart enough to know when I’m being fed a line. There’s a reason in a courtroom a judge elicits stories from both sides of the aisle. They are trained in bullshit detection and when they see the bullshit coming out of the mouth of one of the litigants then it is game over for them.

I have spent a great deal of the second half of my life searching for answers. I have always been a contrarian, so I had a leg up on most when it came time to shed cultural baggage powered by cultural institutions. I went out looking for answers, thinking I could find them externally. When I discovered conscious altering plants they were an accelerator on the path of finding what it was I was seeking. The altering of consciousness will force you to look inwards and come to terms with all your beliefs and from this you will learn the truth is slippery and beliefs are what powers the universe. If you believe then it is your truth. Do you remember in the movie 'The Matrix’ Neo didn’t believe he was the one? He visited the oracle looking for answers and she said sorry kid but you are not it. It wasn’t until he believed in himself that he did indeed become the one. The truth was waiting on beliefs because without beliefs there can be no truth.