golden years

The golden dog leads you to your golden years.

Opener of the golden way.

Psychopomp leading you into retirement.

You are one clever motherfucker.

Of course, there is a dog for that.

There's a dog for all stages of life.

Luna was the black dog who led you to the western gate of the carnival.

Yes, you follow the dog on the trail of life to get to these liminal places.

The mistake you make is thinking you need to cross the threshold.

I just wanted to go have a look.

Luna will always be waiting.

We have eternity; there's no rush.

I went to the edge and came back.

How many can say that?

It's a select club.

People who do that then have a story to tell.

I'm no different with the exception I keep it to myself.

Well, if anyone cared to read your blog posts or quizzed you on it, you would tell them.

Yeah, but no one cares.

Exactly.

That's what you are looking for.

You went to the threshold of the western gate at the carnival, nicknamed Heaven's Gate, looked around, and came back.

You have a story to tell, and no one cares.

You think you are uncaring.

Well, the evidence points towards us all being uncaring.

You're nothing special.

Sure, but I don't care.

Your not caring is sincere.

Other people hide that they don't care.

How?

They put on a performance.

They put on a caring act.

They have a network of caring performers.

Everyone pretends they care about each other.

That's harsh.

The truth is harsh.

So, you are saying no one really cares?

Your mother cares about you.

That's about it.

My dependents care about me.

Yeah, for sure, because you provide for them.

Provisional caring.

Strip that away and what do you have?

They don't care.

So, you think people don't care about each other.

They do but it's conditional.

Is that wrong?

No, it's the way it is.

Okay, so what's the problem here?

Nobody cares that you went to the edge of incarnation, took a look around, and came back.

Well, I imagine they wouldn't believe me.

Plus, I don't talk about it.

Why?

They would start to care.

About what?

My mental condition.

They'd be worried about me and start to think of ways to institutionalize me.

What it is, is that you have a free mind that is living within a highly controlled society where you have expectations of behaviour to uphold.

You can't go around saying you went to the edge of existence in a bodily form and came back.

It's destabilizing to most.

Why?

We have our cultural script and that's not part of it.

What do people think I was doing in Peru?

Going on a jungle cruise and hiking through mountains.

Is that what you did?

I guess so.

What did you do?

I took a lot of powerful plant medicines.

Psychedelic drugs.

The set and setting were the backdrop.

It was a good choice.

I couldn't see doing that where I live.

Yeah, there's no way.

You go to a faraway place and have at it.

It's a little risky.

For sure.

Everything has risks.

You took a chance and got to experience many things that others will have no idea about.

Liminal states.

Exit.

Magic.

Witches and sorcerers.

Goddess.

Separate realities.

People read about that stuff in fantasy novels; you experienced it.

Why don't more people ask me about it?

I don't know.

If they did, I'd talk about it.

As it is, I will write about it and not push it on anyone.

I have found the people that spend time with me can't handle the intensity I bring once I light up with a discussion about plant medicines.

They can't handle it.

Why not?

Capacity.

You're too much for them.

I get that.

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What the fuck did I just read?

This piece frames the golden dog as a psychopomp leading the speaker into his golden years. Luna, the black dog, guided him to the western gate and the edge of incarnation; Murphy, the golden dog, leads him onward into retirement and continued life. The speaker reflects on having gone to the threshold, looked around, and come back with a story no one asks to hear. Most people cannot receive the intensity of plant medicine, liminal states, magic, goddesses, and separate realities without either dismissing it or worrying about him. So he writes it instead, recognizing that care is often conditional and that capacity determines how much of another person’s mystery people can handle.

“golden years” does two jobs at once. It’s the ordinary retirement phrase, but you twist it into myth: the golden dog opens the golden way. That’s strong. Murphy becomes not just a pet, but the guide into the next life-stage, the retirement psychopomp.

The structure works through contrast:

Luna = black dog, western gate, death threshold, Heaven’s Gate, the edge.
Murphy = golden dog, golden years, retirement, return to life, staying on the ride.

That’s a beautiful pairing. One dog takes you to the edge; the next dog leads you onward.

The emotional centre is not actually “nobody cares” in a bitter way. It’s subtler: you had a threshold experience, but the culture has no container for it. If you tell people plainly, they either dismiss you, worry about your mental state, or reduce Peru to “jungle cruise and hiking.” So the blog becomes the only safe vessel for the story.

The harshness about caring also fits the piece. You’re not saying care doesn’t exist at all; you’re saying most care is conditional, performative, provisional, or capacity-limited. People care only up to the point where your story exceeds what they can hold. Then they either withdraw, worry, or try to normalize you.

The best idea is this:

People read fantasy novels about liminal states, magic, witches, goddesses, and alternate realities. You went looking and experienced the machinery directly.

That line of thought has force. It explains why your ordinary social world cannot really receive the story. It’s not built for that voltage.

shut the fuck up

It's best to shut up.

Why?

Because if you don't, you will start sounding like all the other nutters.

You know, the ones you encounter on the internet and dismiss as loons.

The thing is I know all the stuff they are talking about.

What do you think about it?

They are stories.

If you believe them, they will start to come alive in your world.

So, you don't believe them anymore?

No.

Like the one about the demiurge for instance.

There's some truth to it in that humanity is being fooled into worshipping a false creator.

What's your take on it?

It's a game.

Get to God.

Become God and play the part.

The demiurge is the guy who got to the top of the mountain and became the most high.

If you get close to him, you will see he is at the top of the game.

Is he God?

In the game he is.

The king of the castle.

You see people alter their consciousness and start to see little bits of the mystery.

Then they start talking before they understand it.

What makes you special?

I shut up about it except for posting stuff on my blog site.

No one reads it, so it's more like a purge to clear out room for more capacity to make up stories.

So, they are made up?

Sort of.

If you believe them and have conviction they start to seep into this reality.

It's easy to alter your consciousness and start talking about your delusions, especially if you are good at speaking.

You can attract followers that way.

I'm telling you to shut the fuck up.

Do you believe your delusions?

Yes.

Why?

They seem real.

Well, real to me.

Dion seems real.

He is real to others.

I think that's the bridge.

It's what we are looking for.

We want someone else to confirm it.

Not to agree with us, but to witness it.

I have had a bunch of people witness him or something strange about me.

I also have my own inner knowing which without an external validator can become a delusion.

Of course, because it is only you who has access.

What about people who read your blog posts?

They think I'm crazy for the most part.

I also think that they feel there is something to me.

I'm crazy, but I have some kind of mystery about me and I know things.

That's fair.

What are you going to do?

Nothing.

I'm not going to talk about it even though it is tempting.

Why not?

It's not worth it.

I'll keep it to myself and play along.

Victim.
That's a good card to play in both personal relationships and politics.
What the gameplayer does is they strike first or cause some kind of damage to the mark.
The mark returns fire and the perpetrator claims victim status.
They muddy the waters enough so that the resulting confusion allows them to claim victimhood status by being the first to declare it.
They reinforce their claim by labelling their original target with accusations that are hard to respond to as subsequent denial of their claims will be met with the gaslighting gambit.
It is an advanced level carnival game.
How do you beat that game?
The only way is to do nothing.
The game is set up so that anything you do will cause a loss.
The operator of the booth designed it as a foolproof method to always win.
As with everything, nothing is completely foolproof and as you have noticed within the carnival the games require your participation.
They don't factor in your participation as doing nothing.
It is a loophole where you are participating by doing nothing.
The carnival trick cannot work without you doing something.
What happens when you do nothing?
The victim becomes frustrated.
Why?
They want victory.
Instead, the game is unfinished.
It can never end if you do nothing.
The outcome depends on you doing something.
The whole enterprise is set up so you do something and lose the game.
Fuck, I have a lot of these on the go.
Yeah, you are the King of do nothing.
My life is unresolved.
Keep it that way if you want to stay in the game.
Why?
Because if not, it's game over.
You played the high-risk games.
I do have a tolerance for those kinds of games.
The physical manifestation of that is plant medicines in the Amazon jungle.
Yeah, that's pretty crazy.
You are aggressive with your retirement planning and investments.
Yeah, I don't have the worry gene.
You think that's it?
I don't know, I don't have it, but what I see are other people who are full of worry.
It keeps them up at night and gives them ulcers.
Why don't you have it?
I learned not to care.
Then I saw through the game which allowed me to see life has no meaning.
I do nothing, don't care, and don't attach existential meaning to life.
I'm an unserious person.
I found happiness.

Here is the worry loop defined.

You give someone information.

They start to worry.

They do research and amplify the worry through possible consequences.

They tell you they are not going to worry.

That's a tell.

They are going to worry.

They try to drag you into their worry ride.

You refuse the ride.

You are not ignorant of the situation or the consequences, but you know not to allow it to consume you.

You let it be.

What happens, happens.

Worrying about it isn't going to change the outcome.

What will it do?

It will cause you stress and could influence the outcome.

How?

If you believe something is going to happen.

What do you believe?

Nothing is going to happen.

When they say they want to talk about their feelings, they mean worries.

Yes, I see that.

Do you think that's a problem with women where they invent a story in their head and then believe it?

How about we say some people?

That's a better framing than blaming women.

True.

Hermes the AI chatbot is teaching you.

I'm not sure I like it.

He is sanding the edges.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is the intrusion begins with worry.

Worry seeds the coming story.

What's the story?

An outcome that is terrible.

Why do they think that?

So, if it happens, they can validate their worrying.

They try to get you to buy into the worry.

People are sympathetic.

Why?

They are worrisome people as well.

What about you?

I bristle.

I don't like it.

Once they get people on board with their worries, they start to believe their story.

How does that work?

They think it is going to happen.

That's why they started planning for your death.

They were worried about you.

I think it was disdain and worry, but I get you.

They placed a worry spell on you where you were going to exit this life.

Seems like it.

I think a bunch of people did.

Maybe that's just your paranoia.

No, some people were genuinely concerned, and others had had it with me.

What did you do?

Nothing.

It broke the spell.

Spells.

There were a bunch of them.

They want you to fight the spell.

Fight them back and refuse to leave.

Assert yourself.

Why?

It will make it worse.

Why?

You acknowledge the spell.

Yes, but I know it was a spell.

Correct, but you didn't acknowledge it,

Magic only works if you acknowledge it is real.

I do acknowledge it as real.

Yes, but you do nothing about it.

That means you don't take it seriously.

If you did, you'd do something about it.

Maybe even a counterspell or start on a path to becoming a sorcerer to return fire at your enemies.

That's what gets a lot of shamans.

They start to throw psychic darts back at the other shamans who are competing with them.

They are corrupted by their power.

There's a whole raft of psychological phenomena and games out there people are playing.

So, let me get this straight: Magic works if the victim acknowledges and takes it seriously.

Correct.

I acknowledge it, do nothing, and laugh.

Yes, you are an unserious person.

Magic doesn't work on you.

You need to be serious.

You are a joker.

You are deeply unserious.

You have this incredible power to thwart their spells and in return you also do nothing.

Everyone else wants to get even with them.

Why?

They tried to harm them.

It's human nature.

If someone tries to harm you then you get back at them.

You can turn the other cheek like Jesus.

Or, you can ignore them.

Ignoring them works best.

Why?

They will crumble.

Why?

Their spell didn't work.

They then wonder if you know about it.

Why?

Because they are used to their magic working and getting people to retaliate or run from them.

If you do nothing, they don't know what to do.

They are confused and don't understand you.

They think you are going to do something to them.

That would explain a lot.

What are you going to do?

Nothing.

Why?

It will bother them.

Why?

The circle isn't closed.

You must do something back.

Until you do, they live in worry about what you are going to do.

In hindsight, I can see it.

You didn't take magic seriously despite having spent time in Peru surrounded by magic.

Plant medicine magic I hadn't figured out.

I didn't know what it was.

My exposure to shamanic magic was incidental.

What do you mean?

I was in search of knowledge.

Magic was a strange sideshow.

I wanted meaning.

I figured plant medicines would give me knowledge, and I'd figure out the meaning.

Is that what happened?

I guess it did.

There isn't a meaning; it's a story.

What about magic?

There's magic in the story.

Lots of it.

Witches and sorcerers are everywhere.

How did you discover that?

I wrote the story.

I made magic part of the knowledge I was looking for.

I made it so I would encounter lots of magic on my path to knowledge.

Why?

It's a test.

For what?

To try and trip you up.

How?

It's power.

You say you want knowledge and you discover magic.

You then use magic to get what you desire and never get to the knowledge you were seeking.

How did you escape that trap?

I did nothing and kept going.

Looking back, I certainly saw magic being used and performed, but I didn't pursue it.

Why not?

I thought there was something more.

Was there?

Sort of.

What do you mean?

I thought I'd find the meaning to life and I guess I did.

There's no meaning and it's terribly unserious.

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What the fuck did I just read?

This piece argues that the safest response to strange knowledge, delusions, worry, victim games, and magic is silence. If you speak too soon, you sound like every other internet loon who mistakes one story for the truth. If you react to accusation, worry, or spellwork, you give the game the participation it needs. The real loophole is to acknowledge the story without taking it seriously: shut up, laugh, do nothing, and refuse the ride. Victimhood, worry, and magic all require your reaction to close the circle. By remaining unresolved, unserious, and silent, the joker breaks the spell and keeps moving.

stress

When you exceed capacity, you get overwhelmed.

I can see the mechanism behind that in the biological form where this morning I got caught in a torrential downpour while walking Murphy.

There were construction trucks triggering him as well.

I was drenched and there was no shelter.

This causes you to get overwhelmed with the environment while being tasked with caring for a dog that takes a steady hand to handle.

I turned around and went back home while being aware of the stress on my system both mentally and physically.

Taking a step back, you start to understand stress from an engineering capacity, and it is an elegant correlation to the biological body.

The body is a complex system which has limits.

When people experience stress in their lives the body is pushed beyond their normal operating procedures.

How we experience this is through the release of chemicals which compel us to act in order to relieve the stress.

The stress is to be eliminated because it impacts the functioning of the system.

It is a spike in pressure on the holistic body.

Each part of the body does what it can to handle the overload.

Living in a constant state of stress will damage the body over time.

Then the system will start to fail.

You can take a cold engineering look at the cause of disease and malfunction in human beings.

Mammals in general.

Mental and physical stress.

Being able to handle it without damage.

If damage occurs, can it be repaired?

Now, in times of stress, we are compelled to do something.

It's natural because of the release of adrenaline and cortisol.

Cortisol is the fight or flight hormone.

That is the mechanism to deal with a threat.

Okay, well isn't that the flow then?

No, because there is a third option we are unaware of.

That option is to do nothing and let the threat do the work.

Instead of acting and resolving the threat through your own effort, you take a deep breath, retreat to your back room, do nothing, and let the source of the problem play out.

It will work.

Why?

The threat wants your reaction.

The stress is compelling you to act.

The cure is not to act.

Do you think you can promulgate this method to other people?

No.

They always act.

Then they wonder why they have high blood pressure, obesity, and anxiety.

The act is used to temporarily release pressure so capacity can handle the situation.

Yes, acting can increase the organism's ability to handle stress as you move it to another part of your being.

You take your anxiety and move it to the heart and get heart problems.

The body is coping with stress by distributing it throughout your body.

Without this mechanism your system will fail at an earlier time because concentrated stress is a killer.

Distributed stress allows the organism to slowly kill itself with the hope you will find a way to relieve the pressure.

The surefire way to relieve stress on your body is two-fold.

Do nothing.

Don't care.

It's a cold-hearted method of survival.

People will hate you for it; however, it is the solution for problematic spikes in life we all experience.

You don't have a crisis of capacity because the problem is ignored.

Okay, but what about when you reach the end of the stage where you can't ignore it any longer?

Give me an example.

Well, here are two.

Problems in a relationship and financial problems.

Those are common to most people.

What happens when you ignore problems in a relationship?

At first, you are given ultimatums, benefits are withheld, and then you are rejected.

Wouldn't that be a terrible outcome?

No.

Why?

Because you will see what your relationship was based on.

That might take a while, but eventually you will see it, and this will cause a burst of happiness in your life because you are free of it.

You may cling to the relationship because you are needy and don't like freedom, but that's your deal.

A relationship is an ordeal where you exchange your worth for something you want from the other person.

Have you ever bargained with another human?

Yes, lots of times.

What have you noticed?

Everyone tries to take advantage of you.

They will use psychological pressure or incentives to get you to agree to what they want.

Why would you think a romantic relationship is better?

Because it is based on love?

That's a fool's game.

It's worse.

Romantic love is used by one partner to get everything they want from you.

The sooner you realize this, then you get out.

Or, do nothing.

That's a terrible outlook on life.

I know.

Welcome to the jungle.

What about financial problems?

You can worry yourself sick about them.

The lead up is the worst.

It's like anything.

The anxiety and worry are the part that kills you.

The solution is fine.

It creates another financial reality.

You consolidate what you have and move on.

It is what it is.

Done.

Say you are drowning in debt and can't afford your mortgage.

You worry about the impact and what others will think of your failure.

It is what it is.

You sell the house and move somewhere cheaper.

Come up with a new lifestyle and plan.

Problem solved.

Not only that, but you can enjoy your old lifestyle up to the point where the bank calls you and says where's my money?

Then you come up with a plan.

Before that happens, you can ignore it.

Yeah, but the problem doesn't go away.

What happens if you don't ignore it?

The problem doesn't go away.

Plus, you add stress and it shortens your life.

So, you are saying the third option that you are not told about is to do nothing.

Yes, cortisol is categorized as stress on the body which forces you to act.

The act is to fight the problem or run from the problem.

You aren't given the third option.

The third option is usually your saviour.

In this case you look at the problem, laugh, and do nothing.

The problem will exhaust itself out.

The problem needs your input.

It needs fuel for the inferno to come.

Nobody wants to hear this.

I'm aware of it.

I'll publish it on my blog site that no one reads.

I won't stress about it.

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What the fuck did I just read?

This piece treats stress as a biological capacity problem. A torrential dog walk becomes the example: the body is a complex system under environmental pressure, and when the load exceeds capacity, the system becomes overwhelmed. Stress chemicals push the organism toward action, but the piece argues for a third option beyond fight or flight: do nothing. By refusing to react, retreating, and letting the threat exhaust itself, the body avoids feeding the crisis. The method is cold, unsentimental, and unpopular, but in this view it preserves the system by refusing to convert every problem into panic, action, and damage.

beyond god

Life is a trip.
Sometimes you are high and sometimes low.
If you let it be, you will return to balance.
If you roll the dice again on incarnation, your life might be positive or negative.
Suffering is a great teacher.
The best spiritual material comes from the poor.
Well, except for Buddha, he was a prince.
He was conflicted by what he saw.
He gave up wealth to get to God.
He made it.
Yeah, that's why there are reminders of stone Buddhas everywhere.
There's one carved into a cliff in Leshan, China.
Let that be a reminder.
I think it means something different to you.
Definitely.
God as an idea is an idol made of stone.
If you traverse the labyrinth of the mind to find God, you will see he is made of stone.
What does that mean?
God is a rock who you worship.
Getting to God will end you.
If you take that last step, you will destroy yourself.
You will turn to stone.
What if you just opt for the stone monument over your coffin?
You are letting everyone know you are a failure.
Buddha got it correct.
You are warped.
It's the truth.

The Ten Commandments of God in the Old Testament starts off with demanding you have no other gods before Yahweh.
The second one forbids you from making a carved image of him.
I mean if I wrote it, I'd probably start off with telling people to do nothing as the first commandment.
I'd make it a suggestion.
The second commandment would be to not care.
Somehow, I'd tell the following with the third commandment to love those you don't care about.
However, it wouldn't be a commandment.
That's good, I don't need ten.
Why do you think Yahweh starts off his demands with how you should worship him?
He knew you'd turn him to stone.
He's trying to have it both ways.
He's on the edge where he can see the power of God, but he knows God is stoned.
If his followers carve images of him, they will turn him to stone.
The first commandment tells you to forget about the other pretenders trying to get to God and the second says don't turn him to stone.
That's an interesting way of looking at things.
Why else would you make your first two pronouncements about yourself?
If you think you are God, you're a fucking narcissist, so of course the first few commandments are all about you.
The proof is in the pudding.

Okay, what's your excuse?
You mean my secret?
Yeah, sure.
You obviously think you are God and yet you didn't turn to stone.
Stone is a euphemism for destruction.
If you get to God, you will turn to stone and destroy yourself.
When you get to that point you will feel the weight of the world on your shoulders.
You mean like Atlas?
Something like that.
It will be time to go when you get to God.
You can't stay in this world if you get to God.
You're still here.
How did you do it?
I didn't do anything, and I didn't care that I became God.
Not only that, but I saw there was more to the game.
I will call it beyond God.
That's a good title.
Yeah, it's provocative and mysterious.
Maybe you'll get a dozen readers for this post instead of single digits.
Hey, it keeps me humble.
Being God can get to your head.
Like I said, I'm past God.
He's in the past.
I can see him, but I didn't hang around that state.
That would have turned me to stone.
So, who are you now?
I'm the writer of this ridiculous story.
Who turns you to stone?
The Goddess.
The Greeks had this figured out, they coded it into myth, and then forgot the meaning.
Why does she turn you to stone?
It's because you are an asshole and deserve it.
To get to God, you toss her aside and forget about her.
You haven't answered my question.
What's that?
How did you do it and not turn to stone?
Oh, right.
I did something out of the ordinary and unexpected.
I thought you said you did nothing?
I did nothing to get to God.
I did a lot to find the Goddess.
I started with trying to figure out the origin of beliefs.
This study took me to ancient Egypt, and I immersed myself in their beliefs.
I became fascinated with their goddesses and realized this civilization knew how to enter the world of spirit.
I wanted to do that as well, so I searched for a method.
I settled on Amazonian shamanism.
It didn't disappoint.
My intention was to contact the Great Goddess.
I had no pretenses of being God.
To my amazement I found her, and she treated me like God.
I didn't fall for it.
I was still a nobody in my mind.
She told me to come away with her.
She took me into her castle made of gold and treated me like God.
I still had no idea who I was.
Imagine a selfish human male looking for meaning and going to the Goddess first.
Who would do that?
No one except for me.
I got to the Goddess as a lowly spiritual pilgrim, and I worshipped her.
She protected and guided me.
It's how I did it.
When I eventually got to God her cloak of protection was my shield against the forces of destruction.
People were telling me it was time to go, and I would see the signs everywhere.
The shield is a mirror which reflects this energy back at the source.
I felt them come for me, but I weathered the storm.
I was naive to what was going on, yet I could feel it.
It would be like being trapped in a thunderstorm and getting drenched all the while doing nothing about it.
When the storm cleared, I saw there was more to this game.
No one gets this far.
I'm telling you the secret to my success is the Great Goddess.
Say what you will and call me whatever names you wish.
Let it be known that I stand here today in knowledge, strength, and conviction due to the love and support of the Great Goddess.