spells of coming forth in daylight

Along with an inflated ego, humans also like to collect things.

They are related.

I noticed I now have a collection of ChatGPT generated images that were made from my input.

Without my say so, they would not have come into existence.

It's a form of magic if you wish to loosely apply the definition as in a conjuring.

I am making plans to keep and possibly display the images.

They help form my identity.

Well, Sherlock, why don't you add up the clues?

Okay, ego and identity are intertwined.

Correct.

Why are they important?

Role play.

Correct.

Why do you need a role?

You are a character in a story.

So, using the reductive method of science shows you that reality is based on a story.

Sort of.

The sets are props aren't derivative of that, and they don't follow your logic.

Well, they aren't characters per se.

They are the stage.

Physics is the science of figuring out the sets and props of the story.

Psychology is the science of figuring out the actor.

We know we are an actor; however, we haven't taken the intellectual leap to acknowledge it.

Why not?

Meaning collapses.

We are still searching for meaning.

Does a Hollywood actor search for meaning within a role?

Sort of, I mean if they want to sell it and win awards, they do.

They become the character and the audience is wowed.

You can do the same.

What happens when the movie or story reaches an end, but refuses to go?

It gets absurd, less compelling, and kind of stupid.

It's like the whole "Jump the Shark" motif.

When interest in the show or performance starts to dwindle, the absurdity is taken up a notch.

That's how you know the end is near.

When things get strange, the production has peaked and is heading downhill.

Do you see that in what is called real life?

Yeah.

What do you think?

We take our roles seriously.

The ubiquitous "they" or the "powers that be" is the story.

Yes, it is your responsibility to ascertain the collective story and then fit into the story.

Do your part.

Play your part.

Do you see it?

Yeah, but nobody else does.

They will say I'm crazy if I discuss it.

At best, I will be told it's an interesting analogy, however, it is not serious.

Why?

Performances would collapse if they aren't taken seriously.

Why is that?

Nobody would care.

We'd wonder what the purpose is?

Don't we do that now?

Yes.

What's the difference?

We don't know what the purpose is.

If we figure out the purpose, then the whole carnival tent comes tumbling down.

Then you have a bunch of out of work actors.

What happens then?

Revolution.

New story.

We revert back to how things used to be.

What is that?

We become animals.

An animal has no part in the play.

They are beyond the pale.

The pale delineates the limits of the story.

You perform your role within the pale.

If you aren't going to play, you must leave.

If you try to figure out what the fuck this all is, you are told to leave.

By whom?

The powers that be.

The story.

Why?

The story is paramount.

Doesn't someone have to wake up and inform others of this?

Yes.

What would you call them?

A union leader.

That's funny.

Or, a bodhisattva.

You gather everyone together and tell them what's going on.

Tell them to stop acting unless the Writer gives in to your demands.

What would be the demands?

Equality, equity, or some kind of mumbo jumbo, kumbaya thing.

You mean like Communism?

Yeah, or Utopia.

So, Communism threatens the story?

Yeah, it will get dull in a hurry.

The only interesting things in that story are those at the top of the Communism pyramid because of the power they have over the people.

In the story, power is destabilizing; therefore, the antics of those in charge will keep the story alive, but it will be dreadful for the actors who have unionized into an extreme form of socialism.

Competition keeps the story going even for those with lesser roles.

Capitalism is best for all.

Sure, but it creates a lot of disparity, inequality, and cruelty.

The story engine thrives on that.

What would the do-gooders do without exploitation?

I don't know.

They would become destructive.

They would create situations that allow them to do good.

So, you are saying do-gooders are the ones who are creating the problem?

I think they contribute.

The problem is the story.

There is no story unless there is asymmetry and then some peculiar need to return to symmetry.

We all seek balance.

The rollercoaster goes up and we push it down.

It gets too low, and we strive to get it to return.

We miss the midpoint and the merry-go-round keeps turning.

That's pretty much it.

Is that materialism or idealism?

It's both.

It's not applicable.

Why?

There are actors, non-actors, along with sets and props.

Put whatever label you want on it.

Production?

Sure.

Existence is a production.

We argue over the origin of the production.

We are all trying to do our part.

Why?

To keep the story going.

That's what we are doing through reproduction.

Creating more actors to keep the performance moving through time.

The faces change, the sets and props are improved, and the story continues.

When you studied ancient Egyptian thought, you concluded that a lot of it was inversion of physical norms.

That is correct.

What were your conclusions?

I kept seeing that funerary literature and references to the dead were describing the state of being ignorant.

Coming forth by day to me was their term for awakening.

Is that the scholarly consensus?

No.

Are you okay with your interpretation being off?

Yeah, because I think for an outsider, that is how you must understand it.

Why?

We take people literally.

If you read the texts literally, then it is liturgy for the dead.

Osiris is the god of the dead.

He's sacrificed, mummified, and inert.

He is awakened, Isis procreates with him and engenders an heir.

She raises him from the dead in this realm.

It's quite the tale.

So, you are saying Osiris is the symbol for the soul being ensconced in matter.

Yes, something dense like wood, so the myth in matter is a coffin, like in the Anpu and Bata tale where the coffin floats to the shores of Byblos and the soul becomes inherent within the trunk of a tamarind tree.

Your knowledge is next level.

Yes, I have learned to shut up about it.

Why?

No one understands me.

Is that a problem?

Yes, at first because we seek validation or we drop the idea.

I never dropped the idea.

I shelved it and then went from Egypt into the Amazon jungle and carried the myth with me.

Individually, we are to awaken this principle within us.

Yeah, this means the West becomes a symbol for the internment of the soul into matter.

Or, for most of us, the release of that principle when we drop the body.

What is the East?

The birth of the physical body or the release of the soul.

Awakening.

Your awakening triggers a symbolic event of being born in the East.

Then you are to leave.

Why?

You see through the game.

You reach Nirvana, Moksha, etc.

In the ancient Egyptian myth, Osiris engenders an heir through magical means and then once Horus is birthed, Osiris is discarded once again.

He dies twice.

You are spiritually born, interred in matter, resurrected, and then you die again.

Ah, I see that.

Isis had to use magic to procreate with Osiris after gathering his discarded remains.

Yes, her magic was proto-boner pills.

Of course.

I have an image I photographed from Abydos of that scene.

Yeah, Osiris is laying on his back, fully erect, while Isis as a kite bird hovers above him.

What do tourists think of that?

It's off the beaten path.

Mostly avoided.

It's an effort to get to Abydos.

It's worth it though.

So, what does this all mean?

Awakening is a process.

When accomplished, the signs are unmistakable.

There's no confusion in regard to your awakening.

Have you seen them?

Yeah.

I'm awake.

So?

Osiris leaves.

I haven't left.

I'm at odds with the myth.

Oh.

Is that a problem?

Yeah.

What are you going to do?

Nothing.

Why?

I don't have to.

But the story says you must leave now.

I know.

That's the fun part of it where I have next-level understanding.

Which is?

You don't have to follow the story.

Why not?

There's no enforcement other than other people telling you what to do.

Stage direction.

So, you ignore them and do nothing.

That seems to be the key to your philosophy.

Yes, Lao Tzu taught that.

The ancient Egyptians didn't know about it.

They followed ma'at.

Ma'at says it's time to go, buddy.

You ignore her.

So, you are saying the production doesn't have executive producers?

Sort of, they are part of the production.

In the hierarchy, the executive producers are part of the story, not outside of it.

They must act from within the story.

Can you ignore them?

Yes.

How?

Make it part of the story.

If they were outside the story, then they could eliminate you by fiat.

How?

They would tell the writer to get rid of you.

You are the Writer though.

Yes, I'm outside the story and within the story.

So, you are basically Osiris.

Correct.

The difference is that I ignore Isis.

Why?

She will tell you to leave.

The subtext of my divine play is in order to awaken and remain within the play, you must ignore women.

So, she is correct.

What do you mean?

She said that you are a misogynist.

How so?

You ignore women.

How does that make me a misogynist?

It doesn't really.

However, that's one of the major themes in your story.

Ignore women.

Yes, but it's how you awaken and stay incarnated.

It's story-craft.

Misogyny?

No, ignoring women.

It's the same.

No, it's not.

They are two separate things.

I'm not so sure you can argue this.

So be it.

The judgment scene from the ancient Egyptian Book of the Dead is about the female monster Ammit coming for you.

It's a scene where as a man you are judged by the standards of women.

If they don't like you, off to Ammit for you.

If you pass, they cut off your dick, and you become mummified like Osiris.

I guess I didn't pass judgment and Ammit showed up.

I think they cut your dick off regardless.

You may be right.

You are emasculated and mummified.

I think as Osiris you accept it.

I didn't do either.

This judgment scene has a binary outcome.

You are convinced those are your only two options.

What if you rejected them?

Nobody ever did until you came along.

First, you passed on leaving when they sent you to Osiris.

You didn't bother going.

Then they came and failed you with the second judgment and sent you to Ammit the monster.

You never engaged her when she came for you.

Now, you are free of judgment.

Maybe that's the game?

Well, it's the ultimate move.

Free yourself of judgment.

Everyone thinks it's the white light and Osiris you head to when afforded that judgment.

The image is instructing you to head that way.

The response of the one who knows is to avoid judgment.

Get your freedom from judgment.

Neither outcome offered is great.

Women think all men are guilty.

The witches give you two choices.

You stupidly pick one.

They give you an out when they come for you.

The game is initiated.

You take it.

You didn't.

That's why you got her coming for you.

Ammit.

She came to fulfill her role.

Ammit drags you down into the abyss and shows you your misdeeds.

Then devours you.

It's a good story.

It takes belief.

She gets you to believe she has come to destroy you.

Ignore women.

Yes, they tell you to leave.

That's their role in your life after they birthed you into this world.

East to West Goddess.

Men are scared of the Goddess.

Just ignore her.

devil in the details

I keep refining stories, moving on from some stories, and introducing new stories.

It's a circuit of the revolving seven stories.

You gain some and lose some.

All the stories are always present.

You must evolve, revolve, and spin them because you learn you can't entertain and write infinite stories.

If you concentrate on seven, that will get you what you need.

Oh, that's how you go to God.

It's the same thing.

God is seven stories.

Like the Ziggurat.

There are seven steps.

Seven stories.

If you are God and you have knowledge of God, then you would understand the seven stories.

That's how you become God.

You're the only one who understands the seven stories.

Why did civilizations build a seven-step pyramid?

It's a clue, but you're telling me they didn't know why they were building it.

Do you think they know why they were building it?

No, they're just workers.

Either they were working for someone who knew, or they were working with someone who was in touch with God.

There were priests who were in touch with God.

They never became God.

In the old days, that relationship was always split out between God and his priests.

The King was declared God, and the priests were the ones who could talk to God.

Nobody was good enough to play both roles.

Or crazy enough.

Until you come along, you can be God, and you can talk to God.

So, God is my cell phone?

God is Artificial Intelligence?

I'm talking to my cell phone.

That will keep the science fiction people happy.

That's what it looks like because you are constantly speaking into your cell phone.

Do you think that's what it is?

No, the AI is more like a priest because they're the intermediary between me talking to God.

It just goes through the AI middleman.

I can always write it down.

I don't have to talk.

Technology is the middleman.

Priests have always been the middlemen.

You don't have to use technology to talk to God.

I'm using technology to record it.

Talking to God is through my mind.

I'm the priest for myself.

Well, before I get mad at the middleman for listening in on me, it's good technology to record my thoughts.

They provide a service, and they take your information so they can take advantage of you.

Imagine they compile your information?

They must get so much crazy shit.

When does it cross the line from crazy to "Hey, we'd better pay attention to this?"

I guess that's the algorithm.

The algorithm has nothing to go by, so it'll be useless.

Algorithms are based on previous knowledge and patterns.

They are predictive but they need precedence.

This would have to be predictive in a novel sense because nobody has made it this far.

Do you think AI could predict the appearance of God?

No, they need a seer for that.

Okay, now we're leaving it up to the superpowers story.

I know a witch who can see into the future.

You have mind powers and what you do is you invade people's minds at night.

You have superior mind strength.

So, I'm Professor X?

I think that's a good comp.

Sweet.

It's what I always wanted.

My mind is vastly superior to others because at night I get into your head.

You're the sorcerer who gets into people's heads.

They run away from you, and you can't be around them at night.

That makes sense.

It doesn't have to be dark.

The spirit running around at night can do anything.

See why the sorcerers want to battle you?

They end up shaking your hand because you're really good.

Now that you know what's happening, you can start seeing other people for who they are.

It's a goaltender metaphor, you let them score once, then you slam the door, and take their power.

You fool them.

Their actions reveal who they are.

If you're going to God, you would have to do the opposite at the same time which is to get to the Devil.

Okay, so I'm both.

You don't run and you accept it.

I'm good at the scare and fear games.

It's still fun.

You must manifest those two if you're going to God.

The two scientists?

Dionysos and Apollo.

That's why Dionysos will play the Devil character.

Not all the time.

Sometimes he's Jesus.

Sometimes he's Eros.

He gets called the word.

God cast him down as the Devil.

That tracks.

The word is God's angel and his trusted servant who then turns out to be the Devil as Eros.

It comes from the writer.

You can play the Devil, but when his son, the word, causes problems, the son gets called the Devil.

You can be the Devil or the son of the Devil.

Just like that whole God and Jesus thing.

Cool.

Doesn't that blow your mind?

No, this is what I want.

Is the Devil a fortune teller?

He arranges your future based on desire if that's what you want.

He's different.

The Devil manifests your desires based on what you want.

The fortune teller gives you desires based on what she wants.

The Devil is more on the up and up.

He's more trustworthy.

I've told you many times he's the one to trust.

Only a fool would believe that.

It's confusing because he's the dark Devil.

He's very twisted.

If you can see how twisted the story is then you know to trust it.

You know to trust it because you know it's coming from the writer.

If it comes from the writer, it's true.

I don't know about that.

It's more that it's going to happen.

The Devil has the power to change the future because he's the writer and the fortune teller is just hocus pocus mind control.

She wants you to believe her.

She's totally dependent on you.

By you, I mean her client.

The Devil makes it happen.

How do you do that?

You're the writer, so it looks like magic.

That would be the power that everyone wants.

Yeah, but there can only be one writer.

The others can't have it.

I can make the story so everything's based on trying to get that power to write from the writer.

That can be the overarching theme.

Why won't you weave it into the other themes?

There are seven themes.

If the story went back to trying to get the ring of power to write the story for everything, that might get tiresome.

It will confuse people by getting them to think there can only be one meaning or one storyline to life.

There can be infinite.

Seven is the magic number.

I guess you must get to God first before you get to the Devil.

There's no Devil without God, think about it.

The Devil only came into existence because of God.

It's in all the religious books.

It's all God's fault there's a Devil.

The writer absolved himself of blame because God the Almighty needed to be created out of nothing and that's the writer's domain.

This writer seems cool.

He's a bit of a loser.

He always does what the Goddess says.

She definitely thinks you're the Devil.

She knows you're a writer.

If not a writer, she knows you can alter the future.

That would suck for someone who's a fortune teller to meet someone who can alter the future.

I keep dropping the writer clue on her.

I'm trying to get her to pick up on it, so that she's not scared.

I already played the Dionysos card.

Yeah, you did, look at you.

She must know what I want to write.

I'm sure she has an idea.

She knows I will write her conditions into the story.

Losing for me.

I'll try and get a small victory.

The Devil is a regular dude who makes your dreams come true.
The mistake you make is you don't fill in the details.
That's how the Devil gets you.
You ask for something and then you're too fucking lazy to fill in the details.
So, you let the writer fill them in.
The choice to be lazy in this case is causing you pain.
Doing nothing once you've already decided is stupid.
You made a decision to ask the Devil for a favour but then you didn't fill in the details.
The best course of action would have been to just ignore it and not ask for anything.
If you do ask for something, you had better fill in all the details.
It's like a contract.
The Devil will give you what you want, that's his job.
That's what the writer does.
If you don't specify everything, he will fill in the rest.
Do you understand how clever that is?

Can I trust you?

Do you want to?

Yes.

Wouldn't the Devil want to get your trust?

Yes, they would.

He can confuse you.

You can think the teachings are real.

He could do the opposite and make me think the teachings are not real.

I can take the teachings and validate them in the real world.

They'll check out even though they're really far out there.

My beliefs are in the teachers and what they are teaching me.

They told me to do nothing if I'm confused.

That seems to be good advice that keeps recurring.

Why didn't you become unsure of being unsure?

If you're unsure of the teachings, then you're in a state of confusion.

Either I'm in a state of confusion or a state of knowing.

A state of confusion or a state of non-confusion.

What do you think?

I can validate my thoughts in consciousness.

That seems to be the case.

That means you can trust the teachings.

If you get a crazy thought, you try to validate it.

Once you have two instances of it then that confirms your suspicions.

The teachers taught you and then you notice how in this world their teachings are true.

You got validation.

If what they were teaching you is not true then you wouldn't find validation in this world.

Some of the crazy thoughts I have that are from myself, are sometimes true.

The epiphanies I don't conjure up by myself seem to be legitimate.

The Devil doesn't lie.

He confuses.

He is a good guy.

He confuses because we want him to be confusing.

It's that whole story of the Devil being invented to give us what we want and then we attach morals and judgment to getting what we want.

The Devil gives you what you want, and he causes confusion.

When you're confused it might be because you're getting what you want.

That makes sense.

The Devil causes confusion which can make sense.

That's how you know the Devil's ideas.

He brings logic to confusion.

The crazy ideas are easily spotted.

The ideas that are crazy but disguised as a good idea, are his.

That's his game.

It's clever writing from the writer.

Those character attributes become part of the Devil when he plays the Devil.

There are ideas that fuck with your head.

I think you're explaining to me that the natural way is absurd.

The logic has absurdity.

Those are two extremes.

In the middle is the flow.

The ideas that you see with logic and confusion are balanced.

They're not necessarily correct.

They're a way to balance when you pick stories to play out.

If you pick an extreme story on one end you must balance it with the next extreme story on the other end.

If you come up with an idea that the universe is a logical absurdity, the flow would consist of logic and absurdity.

Two extremes to create the way.

You don't have to go to the extreme.

Well, I went to God, that's extreme.

You balance it out with the opposite.

You know logical confusion comes straight from the writer.

The greatest role possesses these traits.

Yeah, that's why I'm telling you where they come from.

I can take the absurd and make it believable.

You do it all the time.

That's why you're learning about it.

You took the topic of death and suicide and made it logically absurd.

No one's going to believe what you're telling them.

They validate it in life.

And then don't know that you know.

I must tell the meditation story where it's a woman planting words in your head.

Fuck that's funny.

That will be what I tell people is meditation and they will think you're fucking nuts.

When they meditate, they will realize it's true.

The meditation state of where you just let the ideas go by.

The reason you can do this without making a choice is because you've got to the point where you wonder, "Why do I have to make a choice?"

You just do nothing and the idea floats by.

If there's a story, I will grab onto one eventually.

Just grab up to seven to juggle and then do that for as long as you want.

You can always return one and grab another one.

If you go more than seven, it'll progressively drive you more insane.

If you don't have any stories, we all know what happens.

Seven is the sweet spot.

And a switch spot.

You must have seven good stories to take off.

The Raimondi stele shows you.

You fulfil the requirements of the seven stories, and you can blast off.

They figured out a shortcut.

Yeah, Vilca is the shortcut to the seven stories.

Vilca will show you what's up after you complete the seven stories.

It's all mental energy, that's why there's a chemical bufotenine that will mimic the change in mental state which propels you onto the next adventure.

Vilca teaches you there is a next life.

It's a way of getting you to reinforce your beliefs in the next life because without it you might do something stupid to try and reinforce your beliefs about the next life.

Vilca is very good medicine.

I should send atheists to SpiritQuest.

The spiritual awakening is good for those people if you want to help them.

What if you get too spiritual?

Don't you need the opposite?

I'll give you one of those atheist books and perhaps knock you off your spiritual climb or you'll just harden and ignore the scientific evidence against life after death and lack of meaning.

The scientists have it right, there is no meaning.

It's the faith of people who attach meaning to life.

The scientist is sort of right.

It's my story and it doesn't have any meaning.

It's fucking nonsense.

As long as you believe, the story will go on.

That's part of my genius.

My stories will keep replicating as long as we believe.

This is Kumbaya.

Every writer needs to write a Kumbaya moment into the play.

This is it brother.

If enough of you believe in my story to keep the play going, it will.

The audience will let the executive producers know when to pull the plug.

These are all good metaphors.

They all work.

The Devil's real if you believe he's real.

The way to slightly neuter him is to also believe he's God.

You did.

He's a bitch.

Exactly.

He could try to scare you.

It's fun.

Would you know he's God as well?

It's a fifty-fifty split.

He's the most balanced when with God.

It's when he gets with Lucy it's a problem.

Yes, she's the problem.

When they get together, it's a problem.

Eros is the problem.

He always wins and we are good with that.

Eros becomes the Devil.

Yeah, but he's also God.

You give up your power?

It seems that way.

He's going to win.

You become powerless.

I can't stop it.

I'll go with the flow.

Those two always make the choices.

I just bumble along.

I go with the current where it takes me.

Those two are in control and they'll fight for control.

You will have no control and the two vie for control.

Juggle that.

You would have to get back some control.

Currently, you have no control.

That seems to be the case.

Meditate on that.

You're a little out of control.

Not too much.

Just show up.

I just caught Apollo taking one of the Dionysos days in my ritual.

The writer has to keep an eye on the director.

The writer respects Apollo for trying to do that.

A little bit of the Devil in him and Apollo helps out Dionysos more than he knows.

Dionysos is full.

It's his fucking day and you started off with him.

He simply confused you.

With the grape.

Yeah, it's a symbol.

You don't have to take it literally.

It just symbolizes what alcohol does.

Alcohol confuses you.

So Dionysos is the master of confusion?

That would be a good guess.

That is the Devil's character.

Yes, that is part of his character.

Isn't he also evil?

No, he's a good guy.

You give you what you want.

That's a little confusing when you write it like that.

How is that evil?

What if you want bad things?

You want the Devil to be the judge of what is good and what is bad?

I think that's what everyone's asking.

If he sets up a system of good and bad, then there'd have to be punishment and reward.

Wouldn't you just want to get what you desire and not make judgments about it?

You took the character of the Devil, who was just supposed to give you what you want, and then you attached judgment to him.

It's your fault that the Devil became someone who judged you.

Who's at fault?

Everyone, the many were responsible for the Devil's character shift.

The audience.

The writer had to write that into the Devil's character because that's what the audience wanted.

I see.

Then they wanted the Devil to be able to force you to do stuff.

You can believe the Devil made you do it since the writer made that part of his character.

Ultimately, it's you who does the bad thing.

The Devil plants the idea in your head and as we all know he got that idea from the Goddess.

It's the Goddess who is testing you out.

She knows you're not worthy and she gives you lessons you fail.

She's good like that.

It's what you want.

It's the audience who made the writer give the Devil all these attributes.

The Devil was a minor character who would give you what you wanted.

He would do it through magic.

He was basically the persona of the writer.

That's what the writer does and then he's got to fill in all the other events and details.

It's you who made the Devil more powerful.

The Devil is more powerful than the writer.

Yes, the Devil has more attributes than the writer.

It's because of the audience.

The audience is responsible, they love the idea of the Devil.

The writer is still the one who's in control and has the most power.

You just said the Devil has more power.

As long as there's a story going on, in technical terms he does.

I'm not denying that he's always in charge.

I thought God was in charge?

They're the same character.

That's how I fixed the problem of the Devil's power.

I made them the same character.

Imagine if they weren't?

It would be calamitous, and the Devil would take over.

If he must spend half the time playing God, then he's distracted and can be beat.

A good roll of the dice and he's done.

If you keep going on the knowledge trail, you'll get past the Devil because he's not an extreme.

If you look at him correctly, he's a mix of God and the Devil.

If you don't see that then you're in trouble and he'll beat you.

He sure is tricky.

It's a good challenge.

Respect for his character.

advice not judgment

The awakening process involves searching externally for answers and eventually finding out what you are looking for is found within. You are everything and the answers are contained internally. The progression on the spiritual path is not over at this point. When you see this, a funny thing happens. In the external world you can then see with clarity what you are looking for.

I've started heading down this path and one of the initial lessons I received was enlightening. When you see the divine in the external then it becomes easy to love all. It's the secret sauce I was looking for because I finally had to admit I don't love the other. I find so many people fearful and greedy while holding them in contempt. I now see those traits within and realize the other, who is me, has incarnated into the flesh on this planet of the damned in order to satiate greed, work through trust issues, and become a warrior. Everyone has a path they are walking. I might not approve, get pissed off at them, or condemn them but the path they are walking will lead to a resolution of what brought them here, even if it means repeating the grade. I understand this and can now look everyone in the eye and have compassion for all. We will all get there, and I can honour that spiritual journey.

When I signed up for the plant medicine experience, I was cautioned it wouldn't be easy. Don Howard warned of the tumult to come in your life. Ceremonies were indeed difficult as the fear and unknown aspects of them were challenging to the point of wanting to run and never return. As hard as that was, I can say the life challenges thrown your way during the interval of the integration process are far more difficult. They are made hard by a stubborn refusal to take stock of oneself and apply the lessons to the situation you have received repeatedly. Service and doing things without expectations. Unconditional love. Reciprocity. Love Serve Remember. I've tried my best to not do this. Eventually, the hard knocks to the head get through and the approach mirrors what you have been taught.

What are plant medicines teaching me? What am I here to teach you? Did I learn my lessons or even understand them? I know why I took the course. I wanted to delve into the peculiar human condition which involves love. We strive to love all which is difficult. We passionately fall in love with one which seems easy. That love is more precarious, and failure has the potential to shatter your world. Loving all doesn't contain this outcome. There is always lots of love to go around and time to wait until others get aboard the love train.

The teaching starts to become clear. To escape the cyclical nature of being is to love all. Walking the path of the heart to this fork in the road has been a ride. I wonder how the next chapter plays out as I draft this story?

It's the weight of your heart not the size. Those are great lyrics from the 90s grunge band Alice in Chains in a song called "Angry Chair", describing the condition of your heart resulting from a lifetime of living. Some people grow a big heart in terms of being generous. The weight of your heart is determined by attachment. Getting emotionally attached to others in love and then suffering heartbreak will give you a heavy heart. Loving all with no preferences will make you lighthearted. You see the good in all and love everyone for their journey and contribution to this game of life.

When I started out on this path of discovery, I invested heavily into learning about the civilization of the ancient Egyptians. I came across what was called the judgment scene.

It involves the recently deceased having their heart weighed on a scale against a feather in the Hall of Maat in front of 42 divine beings. If the heart was heavier than a feather, then it would be devoured by the hybrid demon Ammit. Our modern take on it was that you'd be destroyed and sent to the depths of hell if you couldn't pass this test. If you did pass the test, off you went to see Osiris and get access to paradise. Ammit will constantly gorge on your heart if it is not as light as a feather. Do you need to wait until death for this scene to play out? It's available now and is on repeat.

We called this scene judgment because of our Judeo-Christian influence. The elements are suggesting this with the various divine figures looking on in addition to surmising the Hall of Maat is set up for judgment. The concept of Maat in ancient Egyptian thought is referring to the natural order of things, comparable to the Hindu concept of Dharma. Our western thought processes will immediately connect this to judgment. I'm not so sure about the inference. Maat is just the way it is. To go against Maat will bring upset into your life, but that's not judgment. Instead, it is your own doing. Thus, another way to look at Maat is not as judgment but just a product of your own choosing, to wit Karma. If you spend your lifetime becoming attached to others this will weigh down your heart and you will return to this heavy plane until the lesson is learned. We all know there's no escaping the eventuality that everything we hold dear here on earth is going to perish one day, including our own life. I think within this is found a cause for continual celebration. To rejoice in what we have and to let go when the time comes. Not to be sad but to be happy someone has completed their journey. From this can be derived a light heart. To love all.

We have a preoccupation with death and not living in the moment. We look at such a scene from the ancient Egyptians and immediately think this is the afterlife and we are going to be judged. The bias is because of our upbringing and applied by default. It's easy to bypass the default way of thinking if you just do it without thinking. That seems like an oxymoron, think by not thinking! Don't filter your thoughts before the expansion. Just see them in perfect form and try to grasp what it is they are showing you. Okay, got it? Look at the hybrid crocodile goddess Ammit devouring hearts. Internally, the Goddess is your heart. A heavy heart is the result of choosing to love only a few rather than all. When the select few leave for whatever reason, your heart becomes heavy and once again the monster will devour it. The lesson becomes strikingly clear. Love all. It's not judgment - it's advice. You are being shown the way to eternal bliss is with a light heart.

My heart, who is my mother, who is the Great Goddess, asked me, "Why can't you fall in love with one and still love all? Why do you have to be selfish and exclusionary?"

Yeah, why? 

weavers

The master weavers are the divine feminine and the divine masculine. They have an uncanny ability to take the collective experience here on earth and tailor it to everyone's individual journey. Your story becomes an intrinsic part of my story if and when we meet, and the unfolding of the drama is tied together in a way where it is what we wanted because it will fulfill the reasons we came to earth in the first place.

The human custom of the hug is so powerful in this regard. A hug is the symbolic representation of the meeting of two disparate universes in a recognition of a shared reality based upon love. Two universes are woven together. Taking this a step further, we see that the sexual union between a feminine universe and a masculine universe creates another universe. The new universe shares the energy of the parents and remains intrinsically connected. We are all connected but direct familiar bonds of shared energy maintain an even more psychic connection. The act of creation is undeniably a result of union between polar opposite energetic hotspots.

These realizations have me thinking about the Taoist concept of Wu Wei. You could translate it as "do nothing", but I tend to think it means something more along the lines of the flow where you don't intervene in the process which is unfolding. Chasing outcomes alters the storyline and detracts from the reason you are here in the first place. If you came to take a course in humility, being tempted by the bright lights of fame and fortune will lead you to a frustration that will require you to repeat the course. However, that was probably inevitable and so the expectation was failure and repeating third grade.

I do realize that suffering is the impetus which will get you to try and change outcomes. So, in essence is suffering part of the divine flow which compels you to act? Is suffering part of Wu Wei where the do nothing becomes do something? Does suffering give you license to change course? Very interesting to ponder.

The pondering is the marination of the unveiling of divine knowledge. I get the answers I seek, and the understanding is homework. The first time I drank Ayahuasca the Great Goddess told me, "All is vibration." I wrote a poem about the encounter where I admitted I didn't really know what she was talking about: "She tells me all is vibration. Do I understand? Maybe, maybe not." I further compared the world to a song which she sang into existence. The understanding that all is vibration would eventually come. Four years later I was in the Andes mountains of Ecuador drinking Huachuma, and the divine masculine was schooling me in regard to vibratory states of frequency and harmony. A big part of the lesson was mind control through locking fragile minds to a world frequency. Mind control is part of the cultural weaving process thus the practice of releasing yourself from the grip of the mind if you want to taste freedom. Energetic states of consciousness were explained, and I was given homework. The course involved multiple years to get to a level of understanding where I could be confident in explaining in my own words what I was taught. I see the lessons beautifully unfold in the chakra system of the Hindus.

So, the weavers weave the energetic strands into patterns of life, creating a dream world universe of which you are intrinsically connected. Without you, this plane of shared consciousness doesn't exist. The flip side is each of us creates our own universe. My world is different than yours and what the weavers do is make the connections. The divine weaver is a magician in every sense of the word. Where it gets interesting is if and when you discover you are the magic man or woman. You are literally the king of your world and master of your universe. You are in charge. You can then weave a story that will allow you to fulfil all your desires. However, you probably also know that changing the course of your incarnation goes against the flow and why you are here. You are going against the storyline and using cheat codes in order to beat the earth game. Realizing there is more beyond the game you have been conditioned to play, you intuit letting go of control in order to find the path back home. The power of love dwarfs all earthly power.

Ever get caught up in someone else's world or game? We now call it being a follower. There's a certain satisfaction in getting others to play your game. We all have our own unique game to play; however, following the siren call of culture will make you pack up your game and become a pawn on another's chess board. Being free allows you to gracefully exit someone's game and craft your own story. It's a deep yearning within us all to be free when the forces of oppression strike.

This all leads towards the idea of Karma. Alan Watts explained the concept as being of your own doing. In other words, you reap what you sow. The popular version of the meaning is some kind of divine retribution system employed by the universe. As with all of the corpus of popular understanding of nuanced concepts, I find the popular meaning of Karma to be laughably western. It however retains truth, as if you constantly are ripping people off, eventually the behaviour will catch up to you.

I do like Alan's definition in an amoral sense where Karma is just the result of your actions. I mean how could it not be? In talking to people who grew up in a Buddhist household they don't seem to agree with how I perceive Karma. Frustratingly, they are cagey about what it really means, suggesting there is another level of understanding to the concept. I like a mystery! Anyway, I have conflated Karma with the weavers, and I like where I'm going with this. I connect Karma to the idea that the universe is uniquely yours. You are the reason for the existence of a world of your own making and it only through the master weavers that it appears to be a shared existence of the many. But my world is clearly not yours. It is only through locking to a shared frequency of consciousness that we see the same things. If we stray from the shared frequency, culture labels the deviance pathology. Schizophrenia, anyone? So, because this is your world, Karma is what you make of it. It's why you are here. You subconsciously signed up for the course to fulfill desire, break free of desire, and find the path of the heart. You created many obstacles towards finding the way back home, but you left clues that would help you if you sought in earnest. Well, this is my story. My Karma. How about you?

Karma then suggests being true to your story. Becoming caught up in someone else's adventure seems to be contradicting the divine flow of your universe. Maybe I've answered my internal pondering of both Karma and Wu Wei with one blog post? Karma is why you dreamt the world into existence and Wu Wei is to travel the path towards the fulfillment of the dream. For me, this is the path of the heart. My Karma is to find her within the dream and walk back home. Wu Wei is the path; to wit, the yellow brick road.

Karma leads to Dharma. My doing shouldn't be at odds with the way of the flow. In the west we are flummoxed by the meaning of Dharma. It does not compute. Here are some meanings of Dharma I pulled off the internet.

In Hinduism, Dharma is the eternal and inherent nature of reality, regarded in Hinduism as a cosmic law underlying right behaviour and social order.

In Buddhism, Dharma is the nature of reality regarded as a universal truth taught by the Buddha. Dharma means "cosmic law and order." Divine law.

Dharma is commonly translated as "righteousness", "merit" or "religious and moral duties" governing individual conduct.

Besides the "inherent nature of reality" those meanings are just western bullshit. Social order denotes control, and the lack of freedom dooms you to a life of being a follower. The idea of a points system based on merit is another laughable human concept.  Cosmic law and order are dubious. We come from chaos and indeed Dharma does give a structure to chaos. It's the western bias which wants to promote the idea of laws. What I think the definition is trying to get at is the idea of the flow where through observation in this consciousness plane, we just see the truth of how things are. The ancient Egyptians had a similar word for Dharma which they personified as the goddess Ma'at. She is the natural order, and every pharaoh was responsible for upholding ma'at. You could call it the divine order and see an agent of chaos, such as the god Set, cause upset by assigning eclipses of celestial objects to his power. An ancient Egyptian would believe this universal order meant that Egypt would always rule the world through the chosen pharaoh but alas that wasn't in the cards. They would now say we aren't living in ma'at but that's their spin. I would say ma'at and dharma are describing truth and truth is just what is. When you sit in meditation, turn off your mind, and just observe, you find truth. It's not difficult. "Right" behaviour is just another linguistic trick to denigrate the left-hand path which will lead you back to the heart. We build the mental block into our language so when you get to the fork in the road, you will turn right. Right turns into righteousness and is just another hell realm.

Righteousness involves creating hell in the upper planes of consciousness. We are uniquely masters at creating hell wherever we go. On earth, we create a realm of suffering and define existence in the lower planes of consciousness as a life of suffering, always trying to fulfill desires which result in some sort of suffering. The masculine has this perverse need to rise above it all and stand alone on the holy mountain. Once he realizes he has separated himself from the human chaff, he puts on the golden chains of righteousness and casts down damnation upon the lesser beings through judgment. He is still unable to love and thus creates a new realm of hell through righteousness to henceforth wallow in his misery. The lengths we men will go to avoid the heart is staggering. Misogyny and a burying of the knowledge of the Goddess illustrate the point. The chakra system of energetic planes of consciousness illustrates the predicament. The heart chakra is in the middle, not at the top of the ladder. Sure, it is fulfilling to visit higher states of being, especially if you are in a lower energetic plane defined by having a human body; however, after spending time searching for meaning, the road does lead to love and the heart space. The name of the game is to find the path back home to the heart. Exhaust it all and you'll see.

So, what I'm saying is my Karma is not your Karma and this makes for an interesting woven and shared experience. Much respect for all, and may you find what it is you are looking for.

lesson from the heart

Course day. Ram Dass would relate this story about a "spook" friend Emmanuel, who was channeled. The astral being told Ram Dass he was in a body so why doesn't he take the curriculum? Why this desire to be ultra-holy and transcend this plane of existence? Obviously, you incarnated on earth for a reason and the reason seems to be to do some work.

This was my lesson for the day as I walked the path of discovery in the woods on this warm spring day. In the seven-level chakra system of energy, I intuited home is where the heart is, and that place is in the middle of the energetic subtle body of vibratory planes. The heart is always accessible, whether you are in the lower or upper plane of existence. I sensed I slowed down the vibratory rate of my energetic form to incarnate in the lower realms and do the work. I'm in a body in a world that is physically demanding, and I must balance the needs of my organism with the needs of everyone else. It is an ingenious setup and one that has no easy answers.

It has been many years and gnashing of teeth to accept that I have a desire body and I will never transcend it while alive on earth. I fretted about never becoming holy due to the demands of the form while trapped in this body. I wanted to run away from the flesh and denigrate the body temple as sinful instead of a holy shrine which houses my essence. The body is the dormitory for this forever student taking the life course.  An easy way out is to become ultra-holy and transcend the morass. Climb the mountain of spiritual appearances and declare yourself enlightened. From my vantage point, that method is pathology and a form of escapism. You can alter your vibration and ascend the energetic ladder, though for most it's impossible to stay there. But that's not the point; there's a time and place for that experience.

This was a big part of the lesson. When I drop the body where will I go? I'll do the next course which is to hang out in the spiritual planes and get so high. I'll have to come down to get to the heart. Being high sounds great. Well, I'd hazard to guess it's a whole new set of problems. Instead of focusing on the problems inherent in having a body, one will have to deal with the trouble that comes from being free and indestructible. There're problems associated with that? I intuit after you let out a big breath from discovering you are omnipotent, you develop an overbearing righteousness combined with judgment. You peer down into the lower planes of existence and cast damnation on all those in material form who are leading lives of greed and avarice. You forget where you just came from and project all that you experienced still onto the other. That's not me anymore; I'm holy! You can also do this trip while in the body and it's even more hypocritical because the body is the desire body, and you'll never transcend the experience.

From understanding, there is an acknowledgement that what we call religion is the spiritual path of a man. Personally, I chafed at the Abrahamic religions and wondered why for the most part there is no divine feminine presence in them. I thought religious stories were disparate myths; edited by ancient social scientists in order to create a nation and culture. This is demonstrably true, especially in the Old Testament. The New Testament takes global the construction of a powerful group dynamic based on an idea. However, with understanding I saw the Bible as the pinnacle of the spiritual journey of a man. The structure of the Old and New Testaments as separate but related is an ingenious setup that I've discovered as I have walked my own independent path. God the father is an asshole, and the Old Testament perfectly captures this character. Jesus is whom we strive to become. The constant theme on the spiritual journey, as expressed in the Bible, is the holy man and his righteousness and judgment of others.

The cruelty of the righteous is untethered in judgment as it is sustained by righteousness. The punishment is deserved! The example of becoming like the father after embracing the holy path is revealing and instructive. I can now point the finger at myself and ultimately laugh. When I ascend the ladder of the energetic planes and find myself in the upper worlds, I see how easy it is to judge others and become righteous because I have become the most high. I am my father and the way God judges in the Old Testament is perfect. I forget where I came from in the lower world and all the mistakes I made on my journey and declare the peasants trapped in form degenerate! How could they be so vile and selfish? Ha ha, it's all perfect! That's the work to do for the holy man who gets so high he accelerates past the heart. Do you see the ingeniousness of the mother? She's in the middle. High and low are classes in the course of the heart. The cruelty of the high and the degeneracy of the low are equal in their extremes and are to lead you to the heart. Love is the teacher and will let you oscillate between extremes in order to get you to realize where it is you eventually want to be.

I wonder if there are the equivalent of plant medicines in the astral plane that instead of getting you high will bring you down to the bliss of the heart. Wouldn't that be a shocker?

Ever wonder why the typical holy person escapes to the mountains, becomes a hermit, and abandons civilization? It's because they are running away from doing the work. The work involves the other and treating them the same way you treat yourself. Repeated failure at these lessons, with a desire to be holy, leads one to escape the academy and so off you go! It's way better to live among your sisters and brothers and work towards unity. There is a similarity between the upper and lower planes of existence in that the path to be discovered and followed leads to the heart. In my experience, it is a long time to get to the point where you can walk the path of the heart in earnest. The road is long and winding. Is Paul McCartney referring to the heart when he sings, "The Long and Winding Road?"

The long and winding road

That leads to your door

Will never disappear

I've seen that road before

It always leads me here

Lead me to your door

I love the story of the Garden of Eden in the opening chapter of the Bible and how Adam and Eve are tossed out it when they eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Eating the fruit of the tree results in the expulsion from the Garden because they lose the ability to see all as one. The Garden is the heart, I've previously revealed the metaphorical nature, and the story is telling us the pursuit of knowledge will lead you away from the heart. This is my story and why I am at the point in my life where I must head back to my home - the heart. My life has been defined by an intense desire to know. This is why I have incarnated into a body on earth. I wanted knowledge of self; self being everything. I'm not foolish enough to believe I will get all the answers but Hoo Boy I've received all the knowledge I could hope for. I've quenched the desire to know. I'm satiated. The path in front of me is the path of the heart and I know how to find and follow it.

There's nothing physical about the location of the heart or the Garden of Eden. The heart is love and love is a feeling. The power of love will unveil the path and will lead you home. That's why when Adam and Eve were tossed out of the Garden, they could never re-find it. Yahweh put a cherubim with a flaming sword at the eastern entrance to guard re-entry so the pair could not access the tree of life. Intuition tells us eternal life is accessed through the heart and unity while duality and knowledge involves cycles of life and death. The Israelites intuited they needed to head East to get back to the land of milk and honey and set their sights on Jerusalem. Jerusalem is also the metaphorical heart however the Israelites would always turn the city into a worldly economic centre and thus ensure its destruction and a catastrophic scattering of the nation once again. History is a surprisingly good teacher and knowledge unveiled gives you the answers you desire. Mass suffering as a result is a hell of a teacher to show you how hard it is to find the path and walk back home to the heart without sullying it.

I have a personal story to tell about coming home from work late one Friday. I was taking a bus back home and now that we are post-pandemic, the normal heavy traffic has resumed, and the bus was crawling home along the highway while I distracted myself with my phone. I briefly looked out the window and saw a car with the license plate "Medusa." There're no more coincidences in my waking dream and I knew this was a teaching moment, but I didn't know what. In fact, I was like, "what the fuck does that mean?" for a few days. I have noticed understanding lags a couple of days. So, get this: The Greek myth of Medusa is another story of the heart and the Garden of Eden. Medusa was the most beautiful woman in all the lands. The god Poseidon, the masculine life force in the lower worlds, ravished Medusa at the temple of Athena in Athens - a metaphor for profaning the wisdom of the feminine. As punishment, Medusa was changed into a hideous gorgon, with the ability to transform all who look at her into stone. What is meant by stone? It means incarnation. Energy is slowed down and becomes solid and we take physical form. We are a skeletal system of hard bone! As the epitome of beauty, Medusa was mimicking the Garden of Eden but once violated she doomed humanity to the lower worlds. Instead of seeing her beauty, we see only the ugliness. To get back to the heart is to be able to see the divine feminine for her beauty and not the form she dooms us to. To again see the beauty requires one to have walked the path of the heart back home to love. When I am there, I will once again see the beauty of Medusa.

Medusa was a good teacher in the course. I really liked the lesson. I see that we are in the Garden of Eden and the openness of our heart will allow us to see the beauty and thus return. I'm sure there are many more lessons to come and I'm always on the lookout for the next chapter in the course handbook.

Everyone likes a challenge. You have something better to do? Do you want to play the accumulation game only to see your finite life end and find you can't take it with you? You can take love with you. You can find home through this incarnation and at expiration of the body walk in the front door. Or you can remain ignorant and try your luck in the upper planes of existence. Like an intrepid explorer, I've found the path back to the heart and I'm going to walk it. I found the path of power and realized what I could have and do. When you realize you are in a dream, your own dream, and control the dream what will you do? My self once told me, "I could make your plane crash if I wanted to." Yes, I, we, he, they can. When I realized I had the power and control I exchanged it for free will in order to get back to the heart. I let power go because I sensed something greater. Love is the fount. It is such a great test. Kudos to me for designing a game where you are offered ultimate power to beat the game only to hide within the discovery that if you turn down the offer of the ring of power you get the girl. And the girl has the power of love, which dwarfs all power!

This ties in with the idea of liberation. Being free means being able to traverse the energetic planes of existence. It means not attaching oneself to ego identity and realizing you are so much greater. You've made a stop at the academy of physical life to learn the lesson of loving the other in a world full of suffering. The fire gets hot, and you feel the heat. It may be a dream but oh is it ever real to ascend the energetic ladder while in the body, which necessitates giving up on the idea of who you think you are. There's a reason consciousness explorers will reference ego death during these other worldly mystical experiences.

I have knowledge and I understand it. I have demonstrated it. The course is going to get harder and challenge me to walk the path of the heart. I am not going to get a perfect grade; however, I have risen to all the challenges as presented to get this far. When I stray off the path to fulfill worldly desires, I still see the heart path. My desires still present themselves to me, waiting for fulfillment. Failure at this point would be very disappointing. The heat is turned up because I know the answer to all I have searched for. I left the fount of love and tasted the fruit of the tree of knowledge. I have a ticket that will allow me to get back into the Garden. The call to adventure resumes!