passing show

I don't like being in control of others.
I want them to do their own thing.
I wanted to let my dogs off the leash and let them run.
I want them all to have free will.
If they want to be with me and hang out, that's great.
If they don't, I'll go away.
Okay, so you don't want to be controlled, and you don't want to control others.
Isn't freedom a form of control?
Yes, self-control.
It's a combination of freedom and control.
To be in Tao is to be free with self-control.
To be free and out of control leads to your demise.

Everything I do is a game.

It makes life interesting.

Then I need to win the game.

Of course.

Why would you play to lose?

I don't think you would.

The flow of gameplay is to win.

You will not always win and that's the flow.

However, with games the flow directs you towards a path where you try to win.

The least resistance could lead to a loss.

Not necessarily, but I see your point.

Doesn't this put the idea of the flow in question where you wouldn't always take the path of least resistance?

It seems that way.

The flow of gameplay is to take the path to victory.

Are you sure?

Do you mean in terms of taking a path which involves more resistance?

Yes.

My answer is it is a choice.

To win a game there are many games within that game you play, and the smart player will let others win those games.

You feed them small wins and head towards the big game.

You don't let them get a big advantage, but you can feed them little fish.

You let them win while consolidating your pieces.

These little games within the season are all coalescing into the final path towards the championship.

At that point you put yourself in a position to win.

The flow will lead you to victory.

So, you are saying you let others take the small wins and prepare for the final battle?

That's what I mapped out.

The path leads one way.

There is no choice at that point, and you win.

This is an interesting theory.

Does it work?

You can examine it.

How are you successful in simulation and fantasy baseball?

I see into the future.

Are you always correct?

No.

I make decisions based on what I see.

I'll make picks and trades contingent on what I see as future outcomes.

The perception at first could be a loss because I'll pick a player ahead of where they are valued or I will accept a trade where I'm losing out on present day values.

If you play in a league of number crunchers, it's easy to do.

They are obsessed with present day value and create many formulas to define this.

To beat them you project into the future.

You aren't always correct.

You don't need to be perfect.

Why?

No one is.

The key is to find a formula where you consistently come out ahead.

If you are rebuilding, you build a great future team.

If you want to win this year, you must sacrifice some of the future.

What about the past?

It's how you learn.

You see into the future by looking into the past.

Fuck, that's good.

How about you look into your past?

Oh, I don't know; it's a mess.

If I look into my past, I can see a future that is a mess.

Yes, but you hold it together somehow.

What do you think of your past?

It's dubious.

Would you change it?

No, it was all an expression of myself.

You are fucked up.

Yeah, I am.

I'm at the perfect age to accept it.

I look into the past and am excited about the future.

Why?

I'm adventurous.

I see many adventures ahead as long as I'm free.

If you give up your freedom to another, then you lose.

Your past makes it clear you would be miserable.

The game is to be free.

Stay free.

A trickster would tell you to stay free and then spiral you into their mind control.

It's quite ingenious.

Some partners will control your freedom.

Here's a gift.

I will tell you when you can be free.

It's best to avoid those people and not accept their gifts.

If a control freak offers you a gift, run.

The future is unknown.

Yeah, you must roll with the punches.

If you tie yourself into a rigid plan, you will suffer because it will not work out and you will not get what you wanted.

Do you have a plan for the future?

Not really.

What do you envision?

A lot of retirement savings.

Well, I wouldn't call it savings; instead, it is more like figuring out that game and profiting from it through doing nothing.

It keeps growing and I didn't work for it.

I did nothing.

What if your savings don't meet expectations?

I have a few options.

I can work longer or I can accept less.

What will you do?

I don't know.

The best course of action is to deal with it as it happens.

I look into the future, and I like where it is headed.

I set it up nicely.

I also set up a path to ruin.

This allows me to look into the future and see both sides.

If all I see are good times ahead then my teacher has taught me that I'm hypnotized by the future.

I see it all.

I see a world come crashing down before me.

That could easily happen.

What would you do?

I'd admit to this magnificent life of duplicity where I jaywalked through life engaging in dubious activities all the while maintaining a facade of some nice guy.

You are nice.

I need to be.

Why?

To hide my dual nature.

It's a fool.

If others could see, they wouldn't be so enamoured with me.

They choose to focus on the good.

You hypnotize them.

Correct.

Humans are easily hypnotized into beliefs and it's hard to then shake them out of those beliefs.

Yeah, don't even try.

Darkness is associated with evil because that's where people hide their evil.

Makes sense.

What's it like to be among magic?

A little scary.

Unease.

Why?

It's new.

When I didn't know about it, I barely gave it a thought.

When you start to be interested you give it a thought.

You might get a teacher who will teach you.

They teach you before you are ready and you use it.

The student doesn't know about do nothing.

They skipped that class.

The class you must pay attention to the most in is the class where you do nothing.

The teacher shows up for lecture and does nothing.

A whole semester.

You pay attention.

The final exam comes and asks you what the class was about.

You are so smart and answer Tao and do nothing.

You fail.

Why?

You wrote an answer.

By talking about Tao, you mess it up.

Why?

It's nothing.

How can you describe nothing?

You can't.

Isn't it zero?

What is zero?

Nothing.

Like two pennies or zero pennies?

Yeah.

There are no pennies.

They are undefined.

They can be implied.

In duality, yes.

In nothing, there's nothing.

Tao class would be awesome.

Final exam, do nothing.

This could all be a fool and you're on drugs.

Or, both are true.

Drugs let you see the fool.

The fool is reality.

Come out to the woods and see it for how it is.

It's my first dog Brindle's Akhet day today.

That is a good way to put it.

East and West.

Celebration.

She was born and passed on the same day.

We celebrate birth and mourn death.

You say that's twisted.

Yes, we lose another mind to the illusion, and they think they have been born into a body.

It's a trick.

The reason you keep up with your body is you think you need it.

You can let it go, and you will stick around if that's what you believe.

Sounds like a magic trick.

No, it's actually how it is.

Why are others not around?

They believe they are in Heaven.

Or limbo.

Yes, the atheists are nowhere.

Why?

That's what they believe.

It's a trap for the mind.

It's worse than Hell.

Why?

In Hell you still have your mind and then you can change your beliefs and get out of Hell.

What about Heaven?

It's harder to leave.

Why?

You think it's Heaven and if you leave Heaven you would go to Hell.

It's an elaborate fool.

So, you're saying the worst thing to believe is there is nothing after death?

Yes, because you will be in nothing.

Isn't that Tao?

Tao is also everything.

An atheist is trapped in nothing.

Can they get out?

No.

So, they are like that for eternity?

Yes.

You must believe something.

Is there any hope for them?

Yes, they need to be remembered.

By who?

The writer.

That gives them a chance.

Second worst place to end up is Heaven.

Correct, you will never be able to leave because you think you'd go to Hell if you hate Heaven.

The best place to be is Hell.

Yeah, sort of.

In Hell you will learn to change your beliefs, however it will lead you to Heaven.

You think you are saved when it's dreadful for the mind.

The best place to be is to stay in the same spot when you drop the body.

This way you will drop the body and still be around.

Like a ghost?

Yes.

Don't you want out of this illusion?

The illusion is the body.

This is reality.

You think you are in one of these human bodies.

Oh, I get it.

Remember when you had that mind trick of proving to yourself life after death is based on belief?

Yeah, and so you should get rid of the body in order to prove your belief in beliefs is true.

Yeah, I did nothing because the body will perish and the mind lives on, so it's best to do nothing.

Well, that's if you identify with the body.

If you do, then it's balanced to do nothing.

Now, you don't identify with the body, so your belief is all in on the mind continuing on.

You need to balance it out.

Why?

Because you are 100% sure you are your mind.

Yes, but I'm of two minds.

Do you think both minds survive?

I think so.

That's not balanced.

Why not?

Why would they both survive?

It would be a fight to see which one survives.

Yes, that's the drama within.

What do you do?

You go 50-50 with your mind.

You take half of each.

You make friends and tie the Sema.

You are a good student.

What about mourning the dead?

That should be a celebration.

It's freedom.

It's your chance to leave this illusion.

Well, nobody does.

Yeah, they believe in something like Heaven, so they get a spiritual body.

Or, they are atheists, and they get trapped nowhere.

There's Hell if you really want to go there.

I'm not here to judge; I'm just telling you no one leaves the illusion.

Then death isn't to be celebrated I would think.

No, there is always a chance someone will figure out the whole belief system and not believe in any of the choices.

Do nothing.

I think you believe in your own mind.

Bingo.

You are smart.

You exit the illusion by believing in your own mind.

That's the key.

You told me I could do that now.

You can, however you think the only way is by severing your relationship to this body.

Is there another way?

What happens when you dream?

You leave the body and go off on an adventure.

Same thing with psychedelic drugs.

Vilca is like that.

Yeah, you could blast off and not return to your body very easily with Vilca, especially now that you know this secret.

You'd be free and that is tempting.

So, why do I want to remain in this body?

That's what I asked you.

Oh, right.

Well, it's this place where you can physically have adventures.

It's kind of cool.

We call it reality, but it is actually fantasy.

Having a body is your fantasy.

Well, fuck, what do you know?

That's it.

Weird, right?

Yeah.

Very twisted.

You think you are really this body and act accordingly.

You're a passing show.

infinite tao

There are all the spiritual disciplines to master.

The hardest discipline to master is Tao.

Why?

You do nothing.

People are doers. 

Therefore the high score is achieved with Tao.

It is a practice.

You can't get perfect Tao.

That would be perfect do nothing.

It doesn't exist.

As in there's no such thing or it's where is isn't?

What do you think?

It's perfect do nothing.

Aren't you scared to go there?

No.

Why?

Trust the cycle.

Yes, of 7.

Then it ends.

There's no more.

Nothing.

That's it, there's a double meaning.

Do do nothing.

Balance.

Tao is balanced.

There is nothing.

But nothing doesn't exist.

It's where nothing is.

There's still nothing.

Who's nothing?

Nothing exists.

Yes, nothing.

That's after 7 stories.

The stories end, there is something, the story, and something is remembered.

No one remembers nothing except for the practitioner of Tao.

Is nothing a place?

It used to be.

Will it be again?

Yes, another story.

What is after that?

The cycle of 7 stories.

It begins again.

Another book is written.

Why?

Something to do.

The Goddess gets her way at the end of every story.

That's what I would write.

There are 7 stories.

7 universes.

Realities.

They run in parallel to each other.

Entering into the next story is at birth and death.

You exit through the portal in death and leave the current story.

You enter into the new one through birth.

The Goddess is the Akhet.

She is present at birth and death.

She is the divine midwife.

The 7 stories are my gift to her.

They are not in the past or the present, they just are.

There are 7 different stories in this series.

When the Goddess gets her way in each of the 7 stories, that world comes to an end.

Why is that?

She ushers in utopia and everyone lives happily-ever-after.

That's nice.

Yes, but nothing happens.

Nothing.

I can't write a story about nothing.

That's what you have been doing.

The story of Tao is a story about doing nothing.

Yes, that's the difference.

There is nothing and then there is doing nothing.

I found a way to make the non-dual, nothing, something.

It's alchemical.

What's the formula?

Do nothing.

It's a process.

The doing is the story.

The nothing is the theme.

That and nonsense.

No meaning and absurdity.

It's all part of my devotion to the Great Goddess.

You should write a paean to the Goddess.

I did.

I wrote one 12 years ago after I first met her.

I wrote about her song of forgiveness and longing.

I mentioned I didn't understand much of what she told me.

I have searched for understanding and meaning in this world.

What have you discovered?

There is no meaning.

What do you understand?

When things are balanced, nothing happens.

A slight vibration, perchance a gust of wind, sets flapping the sails of adventure.

Who are you, Chaucer?

No, I was having a moment with words.

I am the writer of this farce after all.

It's who I am.

I'm not sure about the choice of the word flapping.

I'm not looking for comments.

Sorry.

There's power in 7.

Yes, it's the 7 stories.

People love power.

It lights them up.

Walk into a casino and see it.

Money and power.

You can easily hypnotize people with promises of power.

Promises as in a chance.

You don't make any promises with them.

You just make them think they can grab the ring.

I'll get my agent to cut a deal with them if they want power.

What's that power?

The power to change your story.

Who is the agent?

The Devil.

You are undefined.

Is that it?

Is that how I'm different?

Yeah, they want to put a label on you.

I have interests and favourites.

Does that define you?

Society wants to define you, so they can put you in a box.

A mental coffin.

You stop thinking for yourself.

To be accepted into society is to do what they want.

You don't go walking in the woods by yourself.

Gotcha.

I do.

You go against the wishes of society.

I have a job, family, and mortgage.

I play the game.

It's a fool.

I don't know, I like a nice house and to eat.

In fact I'm hoping to have a bunch of money for retirement to play within society.

I'll play along.

I'll still wander high through the forest.

They can't label you.

You are always spinning.

Women are spinners.

Yeah, I see that.

Hypnotizers.

It's so easy to be hypnotized, labeled, and fall into routine.

It's hard not to.

Recognize it and change it up.

I change interests all the time.

Why define yourself as one thing?

Why can't you just like it all?

I resolved a recent problem by doing nothing.

Then I pointed out another problem which affected the first problem.

Yes, but I didn't throw a fit.

Yeah, that was good.

Same with the bank.

I did nothing, reported the problem, and I'm getting some money back.

It's still a pain.

You took control back.

It comes with the need to jump through some hoops and problems.

At least I know I will solve the problem.

I did nothing long enough.

There's a time limit on nothing.

That's why it is not Tao.

Tao has no time limit.

Those who speak of Tao don't know Tao.

It's doing nothing until you must do something.

It's balanced until it's perfect and then it is thrown out of balance.

It is total knowledge and emptiness.

It's the opposites.

Can be.

It's the Lanzon at Chavín de Huantar.

Isn't that Dionysos?

He takes the opposites and makes them whole like no one else can.

Is he Tao?

Is he the mother of 10,000 things?

Sort of.

He writes it all into existence.

He doesn't write it all.

The rest is filled in.

No, it's just chaos.

You haven't made sense of it.

It's the Goddess' idea.

Tao is the idea and the story.

The opposites.

The two.

Yin and yang.

You are getting warmer.

Who are the two?

Eros.

Who are they?

The two.

Got it.

Tao is the two together in perfect opposition.

Ah, I see.

Yeah, it's in the symbol, Einstein.

Can you say Tao is balance?

No, because the balance is depicted as balance between a woman and a man.

Chaos and structure.

Can you say Tao is equality between a woman and a man?

No, because the equality creates a 3rd, who is Eros, and they are also the one.

Is this grammatically correct?

"They are one."

Not really in this context.

Why?

They is plural.

Not necessarily.

It's gender ambiguity and that is represented as they.

Eros can be either feminine or masculine.

Good enough.

Can you say Tao is the balance of the two opposites?

I think that's close.

Can you say Tao is nothing?

Sort of.

Explain.

Tao is everything.

It's also advice which leads to balance.

Do nothing.

Tao is also doing something.

Lao Tzu said do nothing because he observed everyone is doing something.

He was instructing his students in the way back to balance.

Can you say Tao is the origin of everything?

You can do that.

That includes nothing.

Nothing is included in everything.

Is everything in nothing?

No, there's nothing.

Is nothing an illusion?

Sort of.

It exists, but you can't see it.

Why?

There's nothing to see.

Plus, you need an observer.

What if you place an observer in nothing?

It becomes something.

Nothing, plus the observer.

So, nothing exists but we can't sense it.

Correct.

Nothing only exists in everything.

It's implied.

Why?

It's everything.

That's how everything is dual.

Everything has its opposite.

Everything needs nothing.

Oh, so Tao is duality?

And non-duality.

Right.

Who is duality?

A man.

What about a woman?

Non-duality.

Darkness.

She's nothing without a man.

I'm uncomfortable with that truth.

As you should be.

Who wrote this?

You did.

It's pretty good, you know.

Tao will remain undefined.

Why?

It's everything.

This goes back to the teaching today where society wishes to label you or get you to pick a side.

To define Tao is to give it a label, thus you see why Lao Tzu said Tao is unknowable.

I see Tao is free of being defined.

Is Tao freedom?

I would say freedom is a part of Tao.

Whatever you can come up with in descriptive language is Tao.

Why?

It's everything.

So, Tao is everything.

Yes, and it's also nothing.

Tao is a conundrum.

Sometimes the meaning seems clear but then you can poke holes in the meaning.

apollo and dionysos

I showed grace when challenged with hurt and suffering.

I did not lash out or seek revenge.

I was kind and generous.

That was the final spiritual test.

There's always more if you want but there's no need.

The spiritual path is an attachment.

It's a burning desire to become the most holy.

The most high.

When you free yourself from the spiritual path it's symbolic.

It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

What do you call your path?

The path of the heart.

My heart is my mother.

I returned to my original teachings where I was looking for answers and hadn't stepped onto a landmine.

What was the landmine?

Shamanism mixed with spirituality.

I mixed the two.

Aren't you supposed to?

Sort of.

Shamanism shows you what is.

Humanism attached spirituality to it.

You had to kill Buddha.

I had to take my own advice and separate myself from spirituality.

Don't you have to get rid of the shaman?

I'm a shaman.

I know how to get myself to the door of what it is I seek and don't need an external guide.

You should be dead.

The stories are getting crossed.

They are mixed up because you shouldn't be here.

That's why your mailbox key stopped working.

There's a new owner of this house.

I'm still here.

That's how you know you beat the game and returned to keep playing.

That's the story I tell myself.

Yes, do you think it's believable?

It's what keeps happening.

Everyone thinks I should be gone but I never left.

Some people were concerned for me because I was supposed to go and then they got upset I didn't leave.

They will be happy when you go.

I don't know about happiness, but they will have a sense of control and faith in the system.

What's the system?

When you transgress society, you must go.

How do you do that?

You stop doing what they want.

You piss off your neighbours.

Seems like my story.

I think some people just want to say I told you so.

Yeah, they see the path you are on and predict it will be your downfall.

Everyone wants to be proven correct.

I think striving for 50-50 is the better play.

You know that, they don't.

They want to win.

You just want to keep playing.

Win some, lose some.

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da.

I hate that song.

Love the Beatles, but that song is the worst.

Is it worse than Eddie Grant's "Electric Avenue?"

No.

I finally get what they mean by runner's high.

I shoveled snow and when I came back into the house, I felt high.

If you don't know what high means, that statement means nothing.

You'd have to be familiar with some kind of drug to know what they are talking about.

A jogger is looking for a fix.

Yes, and they are addicted.

I'm motivated by spite.

Yes, I think of ways to avenge any slight.

It's the main reason for still being alive and haunting everyone.

It's spite.

I'm kind, generous, and spiteful.

When you stop being spiteful, you can go.

That might take a while.

I think that's why the spiritual path teaches you non-attachment.

Yes, the spiritual path tries to get you to go.

If you aren't attached, you are going to go.

When you lose attachments, you get the feeling it's time to go and if you are walking a spiritual path, it is a deadly combination.

Your elevated levels of spite keep you here.

A spiritual master would advise you to give up spite.

A master game player would hang onto that spite and dish it out on the regular.

What will you choose?

I choose both.

It's tempting to give it up and become ultra-holy, however I'm tired of that game.

Spite beckons you to seek out satisfaction among all those who have wronged you.

I think you keep it on the back burner.

You juggle both and don't choose either.

The balance is in doing both.

You aren't going to ignore spite because it is the elixir which keeps you in the game.

You need something to keep you around, so you play with spite.

It adds spice.

It's another thing to juggle but this is worth it.

It's a pillar of this game like trust and belief.

Spite.

So, the spiritual path is suicidal?

It can be.

Non-attachment will lead to you blasting off and not returning.

You need something to keep you grounded.

It's the sacred and the profane.

Mr. Snuff will help a lot.

I'm looking forward to it.

Paul.

1967 to 2024.

RIP.

I weave that thread with the twist of my darkness becoming light.

The rise of Dion and the fall of Paul.

Yeah, I took a fall.

That's the symbolic transfer of power.

Dion is in charge.

That's cool, I trust him, and it's not my body to hoard.

Your adversaries thought you were to physically leave in 2024 but as it turns out you took a mental leave.

Yes, I'm on leave due to mental pressure.

I'll leave my phone on so you can still contact me, but for all inquiries please contact Dion.

I'm on vacation and Dion is filling in now.

He doesn't know what he is getting in to.

He knows my act, so he will keep the story moving, however it's Dion, so don't fuck with him.

Poor Pentheus.

I'm learning from you.

It will be a super you.

Unstoppable.

Your grace and his power.

What do you call this?

Delusions of grandeur.

Yeah, but I keep it quiet, if not they would hospitalize you.

I feel normal.

Yeah, but they still lock you up.

You're a menace to society.

How?

You see through the curtain.

Got it.

So, how do I keep playing?

Shut up about it.

I will write about it.

I can't help it.

Yeah, but no one reads your writing.

You give everyone access and so they know, but no one can make a case against you.

The secret to continually playing is to let no one know you know and to keep your pants on.

They are equally important for someone who has gone as far as you.

When you finish the performance, you take your costume off.

Every actor does it.

That's the symbolism behind it.

If you keep the costume on, you can keep playing.

Everyone will think you are still an actor.

If you are dead, they know you aren't an actor anymore.

You become a legendary actor.

If you die, you leave the stage.

You wake up to the dream.

You woke up and kept the costume on.

I wanted to take it off, but I did that discreetly and then put it back on.

I made sure no one saw me naked like the Noah story and his third son Ham who he then cursed.

That's a fantastic weave into that biblical story that is so weird, and no one understands.

Yes, if someone sees you naked when you go crazy, you lose the game.

I knew the game.

So, here I am.

You are either nuts or you have figured out the game.

I say both.

I intuit that in order to see into the game, you need to go completely crazy.

Yes.

I did.

I practiced first with crazy women, my dog Luna, and tenants.

I knew crazy.

I went for it, took the test, did what I needed to do, and passed.

It's like walking through fire.

A crazy bird laughed with me.

Again.

They know I did it.

It's like that mockingbird in 2013 the first time I went into the jungle to drink Ayahuasca.

No one thought you could pull this off.

If the writer doesn't write you a part in the next play, you're in purgatory.

It's preferable to him putting you into a hellscape.

Don't get on his bad side as he has the power of the pen.

You don't want money or pleasure.

You want the pen.

I have it.

Yes, you're the one.

Neo.

Exactly.

I gave my body to the pen, so he could write the rest of the story.

Yes, that's it.

Then the pen becomes flesh.

The Word.

Dion.

You.

Sacrifice.

So, the sacrifice story is I sacrifice myself for myself.

Yes.

That's wonderful.

However, everyone else will think it's preposterous and selfish to perform the ultimate sacrifice where you sacrifice yourself for your other self.

Yes, they don't understand trust.

And the Devil.

This is the hardest sacrifice, and you did it.

Where does that leave you?

I am writing this reality in real time.

I keep the game going.

That's how you do it.

The word, who is the writer, becomes flesh.

Eros says he is the word of the writer.

The word was in God, and he was God.

Is that how that Bible verse goes?

John 1:1 (KJV): 1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

Then it's both you and Eros.

You need both.

The writer is in the word and the word is Eros.

You are God and the child is the son of God.

That's how it works in the story I am writing.

I think I've heard it before.

Foreshadowing.

Gotcha.

Plus, I don't think the Bible is copyright.

Well, the translations are but the original words aren't.

That's tricky.

You make your own translation of the word.

Yes, you tell your story, don't let someone else do it.

This is a level of crazy no one can accept.

Yeah, you see they are not crazy, they just can't handle knowledge.

You learn to handle knowledge, and you see the story.

You write it down, forget about it, remember it, publish it, and no one reads it.

It's all good.

I'll trust Dion to write the story.

He knows my character.

There is weirdness in it just so you understand.

We are both weird.

Don't we need balance?

What do you think?

It's balanced.

The weird balances out your normalcy.

Dion feels the same.

He knows you, so the change will be subtle.

It has been going on for a while.

Yes, you can't stop it.

You trust and willfully give up your power.

I don't do anything, I just let it be.

I know this is not me.

The me I am accustomed to.

Who are you?

Now, you see it.

You play both.

Ground Dion.

Elevate Paul.

Apollo is the fool to hide Dionysos.

The game is to juggle them.

Mary Jayne lets you hang with Dion.

Without her, you can't see him.

I can now; I have the gift of sight.

I can see magic.

I don't like being high and in society.

High society.

No, that is full of anxiety.

How do others do it?

Stoned.

Dion is fully present.

I wonder if he was before, but I didn't feel it.

Could be.

You didn't think MJ had any effect on you, but instead you'd become Dion.

You'd be different but it was hard to notice, not only by you, but others.

Something would be off.

It wasn't until you went into the woods with MJ you started noticing the effects.

See how the darkness took over your dad?

It just happens.

Was it dark?

No, controlling, strange, and funny.

What was the result?

Everyone laughed at him behind his back and thought he was crazy.

He believes in his own nonsense and convinces others.

What about you?

They can see the crazy, but you don't accept them laughing at you.

I'll get spiteful.

Take them down a peg.

Your dad didn't understand what happened.

I did.

I saw the darkness taking over and trusted it would work out.

Yes, in ancient Egypt, Horus and Set tie the Sema to unite the two lands.

Your consciousness has two lands, the conscious and the subconscious.

Light and Dark.

Apollo and Dionysos.

The winner ties the Sema within one's own self.

Hey, that's me.

Everyman has the potential.

Only one can do it.

Do I get a prize?

Sanity?

Temporary insanity.

What's that?

Thinking you are Paul.

That's insanity.

You must go crazy to keep your sanity.

I sense that crazy and insanity are different.

Yes, sanity is craziness.

That's who you are.

Insanity is Paul.

Paul is the character, and he identifies with Apollo.

Correct.

Apollo becomes Paul.

I am Dionysos and I will get my turn.

It's the sunrise, sunset, the east, and the west.

We tie the Sema in the Akhet and trust one another to keep the game going.

Ancient Egypt passed power between Horus and Set to keep the empire going.

That's ingenious.

You pass it between your two selves.

Or, the ancient Egyptians' priests came up with a fantastic tale.

What are the chances it had nothing to do with the human experience?

Not much, maybe a little?

They could have been high and got the same thoughts I'm getting just like the Greeks with Apollo and Dionysos.

All civilizations knew about man's inherent psychic duality.

That seems to be the case.

It's common to all men.

What about women?

I'm not a witch.

Okay, so this experience should be common to almost all men, but it goes unrecognized.

Yes, we treat it now as pathology.

Or craziness.

The doubt you have in your head about this story is it could just be a byproduct of altered consciousness states.

That is an acceptable answer.

You then must decide what is reality.

I don't think you choose.

I think you just play it out and go with the flow.

You can't know, so why choose.

You would only choose when you know.

I'm pretty certain I have two consciousnesses, but I'll accept it's a byproduct of getting high.

I can accept I'm this entity called Paul, and I have a great story going on in my head when I'm high or I'll accept that I really am those two and Paul is the character in the drama.

Those two take turns playing Paul and compete to see who can play his character the best while maintaining the special qualities they have which make them such good actors.

The result is no one really knows who I am because I switch between Apollo and Dionysos in the play.

They see someone different playing Paul and it confuses them.

Who are you?

That's fascinating.

It's a much better story than you are this Paul who is having a bit of a breakdown in personality integrity.

Well, the ego makes my two selves conform to the character of Paul.

Apollo is not Paul and neither is Dionysos.

They are both watered down versions of each other because of a deference to Paul.

Who is Paul?

The ego.

Yes, but who is he?

He is half Dionysos and half Apollo.

Those two keep getting mixed up into Paul.

The result is some entity called Paul.

What do you think of this Paul?

He's alright; he's got some attributes of both those gods.

It's all he is; he's the result of those two.

You can dissect the attributes of Apollo and the attributes of Dionysos, but the experiment is to combine them and see what you get.

The experiment would always blow up until Paul came along and could handle the combination of each.

Yes, balance the two so they don't blow up.

That's the scientific explanation for Paul.

Who are these scientists?

Apollo and Dionysos.

portals

Approaching the exit portals of the Earth game leads to strange instances of symbols and thoughts telling you it is time to go.

There are magnetic attractors at the edge of the mystery sucking you into the completion of the level.

Yeah, it's very strange and mysterious.

If you get too close to the edge you will be sucked in.

Fall off the cliff of bodily existence.

If I was to guess at this game and the outcome, I would think the optimum strategy is to head to the portal when your time is near.

That would be following the flow.

When do you know your time is near?

When your body is giving out.

Your mind gets weaker.

Nobody knows when that is as sickness can topple you in the game at any time.

We try to maximize our time in the game and live to an old age but there are no guarantees.

Eventually, we all face dissolution of form, and the advice would be to accept it and when you are ready head to the portal of your choice.

There're two choices.

Yes.

Heaven or Hell.

Which one do you choose?

I believe my lessons are preparing me for that choice.

What have you learned?

Don't choose.

Tao.

Do nothing.

Or choose both.

I can lie on my deathbed and not choose.

That's the easy way out.

What if you wanted to choose both?

Well, I have a mind and a body.

I would guess that's how I choose both.

I have physically been to Heaven's Gate.

I have mentally journeyed into Hell.

I stayed at neither for long, but I know they are there.

You have seen the two portals.

Yes.

One is physical and one is mental.

What does that mean?

I'm scratching my head.

The body heads for the light and the mind returns to the darkness.

Why would you think that?

Because they are opposites.

The body is buried into the eternal darkness and the mind is released into the light.

Magic is through the reconciliation of the opposites as I have been taught.

When you leave this level, you reconcile your being.

The mind exits through the portal of Hell and continues, and the body will be reborn in the heavens.

Symbolically, you would blast your body off into the heavens.

Yeah.

How do you do that?

I wouldn't bury your body.

Self-combustion?

Something like that.

It's all in your head.

After you die, your body lies there helpless, and you must rely on others.

Yes, you don't want that.

That's a puzzle.

You will figure it out.

I'm picturing cremation and loading my ashes into a firework and blasting off.

That would work.

You'd have to find someone who will do that for you.

Doesn't Vilca do that?

Yes.

The image on don Howard's tapestry at his Mesa is describing the action.

That's the Raimondi stela.

Yes, that shows you what to do at the Mesa.

You have that on your Mesa.

Is that for the body or the mind?

What do you think?

It's for both.

What happens at the Mesa with Vilca?

You leave your body.

Where does your mind go?

At first the lower world, and then you ascend.

Correct.

You start at the bottom and climb.

Okay, that's the mind.

The mind is heading up so why would you start at the top?

Good point.

What does the body do?

It gets out of the way.

It heads down.

The body would exit at the top and come down.

The body would be high and the mind low.

They meet halfway.

Yes.

That's where I saw don Howard hanging out.

He waved.

That's fascinating.

What does that mean?

This world is magic.

The mind and body are balanced.

When you leave this world the mind and body are no longer balanced.

Heaven and Hell are places of the extreme.

It's cyclical so you will return to balance.

You return to Earth?

Not necessarily, you reincarnate into a body.

Got it.

Then you exit.

It's next level.

There are two portals which lead to the next level.

You don't choose one.

You go through both portals and that continues the journey.

Everyone else makes a choice of which portal to take.

You know the way and will take with you who you want to take into the next level.

That seems like a big responsibility.

It is but you can handle it.

How can I handle it?

Shut up about it and do your thing.

Come off as some crazy person with peculiar interests and idiosyncrasies.

If someone asks about your Mesa or what it is you are doing, you can tell them and scare the bejesus out of them.

I see that.

Well, thank you for the information.

No problem; you're a good student.

What is going on in this world?

Why?

There doesn't seem to be a meaning.

There isn't.

I think I've found the meaning.

What's that?

How to get to the next level.

That's the meaning of this level.

That's like a video game where the only point of the level is to get to the next level.

It's absurd.

Video games are absurd.

You keep entering different levels.

Some are hard and some are easy.

It's telling that when we create the ability to make games our games mimic existence.

It seems very logical when you think about it.

Of course we would mirror our predicament into a video game.

There are 7 levels, right?

Yeah.

The Raimondi stela shows you that as well.

What level is this?

6th.

How do you know?

You don't.

Then why 6?

I know the 7th level is a reward in the game where I can create my own level.

How do you know that?

Intuition.

I don't know if that's the case, but I have a good idea that is what is going to happen.

What are you going to create?

A world for dogs.

I'm going to be God in that world.

Yes, you will be the dog God.

Fauci will be the dogs' Hitler.

Definitely.

Why is this world difficult?

It's because there is no meaning.

The difficulty in this level is that you go around looking for meaning and never find it.

You think you find meaning but then it evaporates.

Yes.

Everything vanishes.

You think the meaning is to love all and then you look for love in return.

You end up suffering so then you think the meaning is to suffer.

Eventually, you can figure out there is no meaning in this world.

The meaning is no meaning.

You create your own meaning.

It's a blank slate.

You become the creator.

The writer.

You are given the pen in this level to create the way out into the next level.

Remember, there is no meaning.

In a way this 6th level is the hardest because it's purgatory.

You are trapped in a world without meaning.

The puzzle is to find a way out.

The way out is to create meaning.

Your life is the way you create meaning and as you have stumbled upon this idea, you realize you create a story that leads to the 7th level.

To get to the 7th level you must create that meaning.

That's the meaning of this level.

I swear I'm not high.

Confirmed.

Where are the portals?

My first thought is up and down.

Go up to Heaven and descend into Hell.

What have you been taught?

East is birth and west is death.

The ancient Egyptians called it the Akhet.

It is the Goddess.

On the Giza plateau are the three pyramids and the Sphinx.

The Sphinx faces east and there was probably another one facing west.

The Goddess is present with the sycamore trees.

What's in the west?

The future.

The east?

The past.

Where do you come from?

Both.

I'm in the future and merge with the past.

I see that; I'm not sure I can explain it.

Who is in the future?

The writer writing the story.

You can't write the story in the past.

It's already happened.

Makes sense.

Who is the past?

The child.

Why?

They must start somewhere.

They are the sum of the past.

Who is the child?

Eros.

Lust?

Yeah.

You are writing the story of a child.

Where does the story come from?

The Goddess.

I think I'm getting off topic.

What's the topic?

The portals of east and west.

Mind and body.

The body enters through the portal of the east and the mind through the portal of the west.

They converge in the now and this is this level.

The body leaves in the west and the mind exits in the east.

The mind is reborn in the next level in the east while the body becomes the mind in the west.

That's a twist.

It signifies in the next level your mind becomes the body, and your body becomes the mind.

Subconscious becomes conscious while conscious becomes subconscious.

There's two within you and you take turns incarnating.

I know of the two and we share the mind and body.

The balance between us two is magic.

You can see where this is going.

Yes, it's next level.