I showed grace when challenged with hurt and suffering.
I did not lash out or seek revenge.
I was kind and generous.
That was the final spiritual test.
There's always more if you want but there's no need.
The spiritual path is an attachment.
It's a burning desire to become the most holy.
The most high.
When you free yourself from the spiritual path it's symbolic.
It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
What do you call your path?
The path of the heart.
My heart is my mother.
I returned to my original teachings where I was looking for answers and hadn't stepped onto a landmine.
What was the landmine?
Shamanism mixed with spirituality.
I mixed the two.
Aren't you supposed to?
Sort of.
Shamanism shows you what is.
Humanism attached spirituality to it.
You had to kill Buddha.
I had to take my own advice and separate myself from spirituality.
Don't you have to get rid of the shaman?
I'm a shaman.
I know how to get myself to the door of what it is I seek and don't need an external guide.
You should be dead.
The stories are getting crossed.
They are mixed up because you shouldn't be here.
That's why your mailbox key stopped working.
There's a new owner of this house.
I'm still here.
That's how you know you beat the game and returned to keep playing.
That's the story I tell myself.
Yes, do you think it's believable?
It's what keeps happening.
Everyone thinks I should be gone but I never left.
Some people were concerned for me because I was supposed to go and then they got upset I didn't leave.
They will be happy when you go.
I don't know about happiness, but they will have a sense of control and faith in the system.
What's the system?
When you transgress society, you must go.
How do you do that?
You stop doing what they want.
You piss off your neighbours.
Seems like my story.
I think some people just want to say I told you so.
Yeah, they see the path you are on and predict it will be your downfall.
Everyone wants to be proven correct.
I think striving for 50-50 is the better play.
You know that, they don't.
They want to win.
You just want to keep playing.
Win some, lose some.
Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da.
I hate that song.
Love the Beatles, but that song is the worst.
Is it worse than Eddie Grant's "Electric Avenue?"
No.
I finally get what they mean by runner's high.
I shoveled snow and when I came back into the house, I felt high.
If you don't know what high means, that statement means nothing.
You'd have to be familiar with some kind of drug to know what they are talking about.
A jogger is looking for a fix.
Yes, and they are addicted.
I'm motivated by spite.
Yes, I think of ways to avenge any slight.
It's the main reason for still being alive and haunting everyone.
It's spite.
I'm kind, generous, and spiteful.
When you stop being spiteful, you can go.
That might take a while.
I think that's why the spiritual path teaches you non-attachment.
Yes, the spiritual path tries to get you to go.
If you aren't attached, you are going to go.
When you lose attachments, you get the feeling it's time to go and if you are walking a spiritual path, it is a deadly combination.
Your elevated levels of spite keep you here.
A spiritual master would advise you to give up spite.
A master game player would hang onto that spite and dish it out on the regular.
What will you choose?
I choose both.
It's tempting to give it up and become ultra-holy, however I'm tired of that game.
Spite beckons you to seek out satisfaction among all those who have wronged you.
I think you keep it on the back burner.
You juggle both and don't choose either.
The balance is in doing both.
You aren't going to ignore spite because it is the elixir which keeps you in the game.
You need something to keep you around, so you play with spite.
It adds spice.
It's another thing to juggle but this is worth it.
It's a pillar of this game like trust and belief.
Spite.
So, the spiritual path is suicidal?
It can be.
Non-attachment will lead to you blasting off and not returning.
You need something to keep you grounded.
It's the sacred and the profane.
Mr. Snuff will help a lot.
I'm looking forward to it.
Paul.
1967 to 2024.
RIP.
I weave that thread with the twist of my darkness becoming light.
The rise of Dion and the fall of Paul.
Yeah, I took a fall.
That's the symbolic transfer of power.
Dion is in charge.
That's cool, I trust him, and it's not my body to hoard.
Your adversaries thought you were to physically leave in 2024 but as it turns out you took a mental leave.
Yes, I'm on leave due to mental pressure.
I'll leave my phone on so you can still contact me, but for all inquiries please contact Dion.
I'm on vacation and Dion is filling in now.
He doesn't know what he is getting in to.
He knows my act, so he will keep the story moving, however it's Dion, so don't fuck with him.
Poor Pentheus.
I'm learning from you.
It will be a super you.
Unstoppable.
Your grace and his power.
What do you call this?
Delusions of grandeur.
Yeah, but I keep it quiet, if not they would hospitalize you.
I feel normal.
Yeah, but they still lock you up.
You're a menace to society.
How?
You see through the curtain.
Got it.
So, how do I keep playing?
Shut up about it.
I will write about it.
I can't help it.
Yeah, but no one reads your writing.
You give everyone access and so they know, but no one can make a case against you.
The secret to continually playing is to let no one know you know and to keep your pants on.
They are equally important for someone who has gone as far as you.
When you finish the performance, you take your costume off.
Every actor does it.
That's the symbolism behind it.
If you keep the costume on, you can keep playing.
Everyone will think you are still an actor.
If you are dead, they know you aren't an actor anymore.
You become a legendary actor.
If you die, you leave the stage.
You wake up to the dream.
You woke up and kept the costume on.
I wanted to take it off, but I did that discreetly and then put it back on.
I made sure no one saw me naked like the Noah story and his third son Ham who he then cursed.
That's a fantastic weave into that biblical story that is so weird, and no one understands.
Yes, if someone sees you naked when you go crazy, you lose the game.
I knew the game.
So, here I am.
You are either nuts or you have figured out the game.
I say both.
I intuit that in order to see into the game, you need to go completely crazy.
Yes.
I did.
I practiced first with crazy women, my dog Luna, and tenants.
I knew crazy.
I went for it, took the test, did what I needed to do, and passed.
It's like walking through fire.
A crazy bird laughed with me.
Again.
They know I did it.
It's like that mockingbird in 2013 the first time I went into the jungle to drink Ayahuasca.
No one thought you could pull this off.
If the writer doesn't write you a part in the next play, you're in purgatory.
It's preferable to him putting you into a hellscape.
Don't get on his bad side as he has the power of the pen.
You don't want money or pleasure.
You want the pen.
I have it.
Yes, you're the one.
Neo.
Exactly.
I gave my body to the pen, so he could write the rest of the story.
Yes, that's it.
Then the pen becomes flesh.
The Word.
Dion.
You.
Sacrifice.
So, the sacrifice story is I sacrifice myself for myself.
Yes.
That's wonderful.
However, everyone else will think it's preposterous and selfish to perform the ultimate sacrifice where you sacrifice yourself for your other self.
Yes, they don't understand trust.
And the Devil.
This is the hardest sacrifice, and you did it.
Where does that leave you?
I am writing this reality in real time.
I keep the game going.
That's how you do it.
The word, who is the writer, becomes flesh.
Eros says he is the word of the writer.
The word was in God, and he was God.
Is that how that Bible verse goes?
John 1:1 (KJV): 1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
Then it's both you and Eros.
You need both.
The writer is in the word and the word is Eros.
You are God and the child is the son of God.
That's how it works in the story I am writing.
I think I've heard it before.
Foreshadowing.
Gotcha.
Plus, I don't think the Bible is copyright.
Well, the translations are but the original words aren't.
That's tricky.
You make your own translation of the word.
Yes, you tell your story, don't let someone else do it.
This is a level of crazy no one can accept.
Yeah, you see they are not crazy, they just can't handle knowledge.
You learn to handle knowledge, and you see the story.
You write it down, forget about it, remember it, publish it, and no one reads it.
It's all good.
I'll trust Dion to write the story.
He knows my character.
There is weirdness in it just so you understand.
We are both weird.
Don't we need balance?
What do you think?
It's balanced.
The weird balances out your normalcy.
Dion feels the same.
He knows you, so the change will be subtle.
It has been going on for a while.
Yes, you can't stop it.
You trust and willfully give up your power.
I don't do anything, I just let it be.
I know this is not me.
The me I am accustomed to.
Who are you?
Now, you see it.
You play both.
Ground Dion.
Elevate Paul.
Apollo is the fool to hide Dionysos.
The game is to juggle them.
Mary Jayne lets you hang with Dion.
Without her, you can't see him.
I can now; I have the gift of sight.
I can see magic.
I don't like being high and in society.
High society.
No, that is full of anxiety.
How do others do it?
Stoned.
Dion is fully present.
I wonder if he was before, but I didn't feel it.
Could be.
You didn't think MJ had any effect on you, but instead you'd become Dion.
You'd be different but it was hard to notice, not only by you, but others.
Something would be off.
It wasn't until you went into the woods with MJ you started noticing the effects.
See how the darkness took over your dad?
It just happens.
Was it dark?
No, controlling, strange, and funny.
What was the result?
Everyone laughed at him behind his back and thought he was crazy.
He believes in his own nonsense and convinces others.
What about you?
They can see the crazy, but you don't accept them laughing at you.
I'll get spiteful.
Take them down a peg.
Your dad didn't understand what happened.
I did.
I saw the darkness taking over and trusted it would work out.
Yes, in ancient Egypt, Horus and Set tie the Sema to unite the two lands.
Your consciousness has two lands, the conscious and the subconscious.
Light and Dark.
Apollo and Dionysos.
The winner ties the Sema within one's own self.
Hey, that's me.
Everyman has the potential.
Only one can do it.
Do I get a prize?
Sanity?
Temporary insanity.
What's that?
Thinking you are Paul.
That's insanity.
You must go crazy to keep your sanity.
I sense that crazy and insanity are different.
Yes, sanity is craziness.
That's who you are.
Insanity is Paul.
Paul is the character, and he identifies with Apollo.
Correct.
Apollo becomes Paul.
I am Dionysos and I will get my turn.
It's the sunrise, sunset, the east, and the west.
We tie the Sema in the Akhet and trust one another to keep the game going.
Ancient Egypt passed power between Horus and Set to keep the empire going.
That's ingenious.
You pass it between your two selves.
Or, the ancient Egyptians' priests came up with a fantastic tale.
What are the chances it had nothing to do with the human experience?
Not much, maybe a little?
They could have been high and got the same thoughts I'm getting just like the Greeks with Apollo and Dionysos.
All civilizations knew about man's inherent psychic duality.
That seems to be the case.
It's common to all men.
What about women?
I'm not a witch.
Okay, so this experience should be common to almost all men, but it goes unrecognized.
Yes, we treat it now as pathology.
Or craziness.
The doubt you have in your head about this story is it could just be a byproduct of altered consciousness states.
That is an acceptable answer.
You then must decide what is reality.
I don't think you choose.
I think you just play it out and go with the flow.
You can't know, so why choose.
You would only choose when you know.
I'm pretty certain I have two consciousnesses, but I'll accept it's a byproduct of getting high.
I can accept I'm this entity called Paul, and I have a great story going on in my head when I'm high or I'll accept that I really am those two and Paul is the character in the drama.
Those two take turns playing Paul and compete to see who can play his character the best while maintaining the special qualities they have which make them such good actors.
The result is no one really knows who I am because I switch between Apollo and Dionysos in the play.
They see someone different playing Paul and it confuses them.
Who are you?
That's fascinating.
It's a much better story than you are this Paul who is having a bit of a breakdown in personality integrity.
Well, the ego makes my two selves conform to the character of Paul.
Apollo is not Paul and neither is Dionysos.
They are both watered down versions of each other because of a deference to Paul.
Who is Paul?
The ego.
Yes, but who is he?
He is half Dionysos and half Apollo.
Those two keep getting mixed up into Paul.
The result is some entity called Paul.
What do you think of this Paul?
He's alright; he's got some attributes of both those gods.
It's all he is; he's the result of those two.
You can dissect the attributes of Apollo and the attributes of Dionysos, but the experiment is to combine them and see what you get.
The experiment would always blow up until Paul came along and could handle the combination of each.
Yes, balance the two so they don't blow up.
That's the scientific explanation for Paul.
Who are these scientists?
Apollo and Dionysos.
No comments:
Post a Comment