writer

Of course, I grew up on a street called Empire Place.

No doubt; I mean you are the King.

In my head at least.

Do you think more people will start recognizing who I am?

Yes, your secret is going to get out.

I wouldn't worry about it; all you must do is remember to play.

Have fun with it.

Don't fuck it up.

I like how you dismiss events in your life as strange coincidences.

Yeah, such as sitting on a bus and having a woman stare at me and say I'm so beautiful.

It's pretty crazy.

The banker who wanted to set me up with his daughter.

How is the King doing?

Hanging out, drinking coffee, and working.

It's humbling for a King and keeps me grounded.

I see.

I imagine they want to keep you under control.

Who are they?

Pretty much everyone.

A good way to envision it is a science experiment with volatile chemicals that in the laboratory they try to keep from exploding.

I feel that.

Do you think it will work?

The trick is they think they are in control of me and so I let them think that.

I'm in control of myself.

How do you control yourself?

You create a container for control and then within the container you are granted freedom.

The experiment has limits but within the limits I'm free.

Isn't that compromised?

How so?

There are limits, so it's not an accurate depiction of who you are.

It's the opposite.

Why?

Because you have a body in this reality; that's the container.

All stories have a container and this is a story.

What's outside of the container?

It's the same as asking: what is beyond the universe?

The question becomes what happens when you step beyond the universe which is a container, or you exit the body?

The simple explanation is you blow up.

Right, the chemicals in the test tube become unstable and react.

No one knows the result.

They can't know the result because you will blow up reality.

How will you record your findings if you have blown the place to smithereens?

You can't.

No one knows.

You must accept that a story works within a created world, and you can't step out of that world.

Well, you can but then you exit the drama.

How can you become the writer of the story and still be in the story?

By playing a character.

The writer can't be in the story unless he is a character.

You must remember to play a character.

I'm playing Paul.

Paul is the writer's character.

That's funny.

Why?

Because I'm deeply flawed.

As am I.

How are you the writer then?

I got the job because no one else wanted it.

Every man wants to be God.

Women want to be witches.

Yeah, they don't even want to be the Goddess.

For some reason they just become witches while men try to get to God.

God is more attractive than the writer.

Why?

The writer is a lonely jerk off.

Only you could play him.

I see.

You're very funny.

You're beyond crazy.

Yes, there was a chemical imbalance last year to use that analogy about the science experiment.

First, I was wondering whether it was time to go and then I went a little crazy.

We got you too close to the edge and thought you might blow.

When we took you to the edge again you just went a little funny.

You have experience with all that now, so you hit the heights of crazy with control.

I would like to say it's grace.

I have my craziness smoothed out.

I accept that I'm crazy, but I act that part.

It's because I can see how I'm perceived and then I go with it and come across as put together now.

I don't think that was the case last year.

Do you think you will ever get out of control and crazy again?

Never say never, but it's unlikely.

Why?

I operate within a container.

I know the limits of the container.

I know what chemicals will take me beyond the container.

I like to call them plant medicines.

Right.

There's a bunch of artificial ones as well.

I'll stay pure and avoid other stuff.

I'm good at work to the point where people will say I'm magic.

Okay, so project that out into all you do.

I see that.

What do you think?

From my standpoint, it's proficiency, attention to detail, skill, and humour.

Yeah, that's what you see.

Others don't see that because they don't understand how you can combine all those skills into one package.

All they see is magic.

You don't let it go to your head.

Well, no, it's ridiculous.

I can see thinking you are God go to your head.

Ego states are volatile.

Avoid the chemical imbalance of those people.

So, chemical imbalances are a thing?

Yes, it's the answer to why people go funny or morose, you know, the infinite sadness.

I don't think it's acceptable to say that.

Can you say they are off?

I don't think so.

What can you say?

Nothing.

It's playtime.

Everyone is accepted.

I want to say deviant people have a chemical imbalance, but I'm not allowed to.

I would like to preface it by saying the chemical balance is arbitrary.

It's how you fit into society and the general narrative.

The imbalance allows you to surf a different wave and that comes across as being off.

That's all.

So, you recommend inclusivity of all states of being?

In a way, yes, because it is part of the human experience.

To function within the dominant frequency and live a decent life, you must know how to balance the states of being.

How do you do that?

Create multiple personalities and try to keep them separate.

One for work and one for the rest of your life.

You'll need more.

You need one for family, neighbours, and the grocery store.

The deviant is for select people.

Witches get thinner after they off their partner.

Holy fuck, Dion.

No one to devour anymore.

I think they are always plotting something.

I wouldn't worry about it because they always are, but they are lazy, messy, and don't like the cold.

They only clean because of men.

It's one of the big reasons women hate men.

They make them clean.

See, Dion comes through with comedy.

He might be a little much at times, but he's worth it.

My dog Luna didn't like running into people and dogs on our walks.

Craziness is similar to my high.

Yes, it's confirms the need to be alone when you are high.

I didn't like that before I started getting high.

Plus, I have always been a degenerate.

That's why the writer knows you and I are the same.

That's how the writer finds his character in the story.

So, you found me?

Yes, there's what 7 billion people to run through?

Well, you can eliminate the women.

What if they are a man trapped in a woman's body?

Yeah, I didn't think of that, that could be you.

How many people do you think that affects?

More than you think.

So, let's say 4 billion actors audition before finding you.

It's a good story for the writer where he finds someone to play him in the drama.

You're like a modern day Shakespeare.

Who was Shakespeare?

Nobody knows.

It was a pen name.

So, that's how you appeared in the drama?

Yes, and then I wrote all those plays to torment 20th Century school children such as yourself.

I see.

Also, Homer.

Your lineage traces back to Shakespeare.

Nobody's ancestry does, that's just a fool's story and your dad bought into it.

Didn't he come up with some genealogy and a book to prove it?

I think a lot of people did that.

Your mom went to the Shakespeare Museum and there was a big sign that said if you think you are related to Shakespeare, you're not.

That was funny.

It's true though, right?

It's a mystery.

Do you think it's all over in 19 years?

Could be.

World war.

It has been 100 years without one.

If your character is done, the world goes away.

The writer is no longer in it and gets tired of it.

The writer needs to be in the world in order to maintain his interest in writing the story.

He is selfish that way.

The world comes alive with stories.

Nothing happens until a story is created.

Then the possibilities are endless.

I can't stop writing stories.

You have stepped into your power, the power to write!

The writer can't make fun of me because I'm him.

Well, he can, but he is making fun of himself.

We are strange.

Like to be alone.

You can figure out the writer if you are honest with yourself.

That's me.

Writers in Hollywood are using Mary Jayne to write.

They are using it for gain.

That's why they don't get any respect.

They balance out.

The actors and directors take all the credit.

Everyone thinks actors are shallow and directors are pompous.

That's just humans for you when they get fame and power.

You weren't looking for gain, fame, or power from your abilities.

That describes the writer.

What are you doing then?

I'm writing a story for the Great Goddess, my one true love.

Your story causes her hardship and pain.

Now, you could reasonably be called a misogynist plus you think she is a monster.

There are a lot of twists and turns in this story.

You spent all that time and money looking for her, finding her, honouring her, and now you write she is a monster.

Yeah, it's a good story, eh?

So, the writer puts his story above the Goddess.

No, the way to honour and worship the Goddess is to write the best story I am capable of.

This is my best story.

Well, there are a bunch of stories.

That's how it works.

Your linear brain thinks there is only one reality and one story when in fact there are infinite realities and infinite stories playing out.

The themes are woven together.

What you see in this reality is the same in other realities.

Well, you mean the themes.

Yes.

Sometimes though themes don't seem like they are similar but trust me they are.

You mean like the magnificence of the Goddess and in another story, she is a monster?

Yes, and if you don't like thinking of the Goddess as a monster, find a story where she is a Goddess or a princess.

You are not beholden to a story.

I like the monster story.

As do I.

That's why I play your character.

You want to play the stories I like.

No one else wants to play the monster story.

They run.

I'm not running from the monster, I'm entertaining her.

In ancient Greek mythology the split is to see Apollo as the light and Dionysos the dark.

Those two define the man who has come forth into civilization cultured and the wild man we keep in darkness.

In ancient Egypt there is a different interpretation of man's split.

It has taken me a while, but I understand it now and it is profound.

We come forth as Set.

The mythology has Set murder Osiris and take over this incarnation.

In today's world a man is Set and fools us into thinking we are not him.

We are essentially as men all playing the character of the Devil who fools us all into thinking we are not him and he is an external character.

You're getting warm.

He fools you into thinking you're not him.

Or I fool myself into thinking who awakens in you is the Devil.

Yes.

You see it now.

You awaken and think you have run into the Devil, but you are the Devil.

You have awakened Horus.

No man gives up his power to the awakened one because first of all they think it is the Devil and second of all the Devil wouldn't give up power.

Exactly.

The Devil fools himself into thinking he isn't the Devil.

Confusing and masterful.

To hold onto power as long as possible, this is what you, the Devil, do.

The Devil is just a character of the writer though.

Yes, the writer plays the Devil.

Who am I?

The writer.

Who is Horus?

The reborn Osiris.

Who is Osiris?

The eternal soul.

Who is Set?

The recurring life force.

Can I simplify this?

Yes.

Paul is who the Devil has convinced himself he is.

The Devil is a character of the writer.

Paul and the Devil are characters.

Got it.

Isn't the writer the Devil?

Yes, but the Devil is a character.

That's what I don't understand.

Who am I talking to?

Yourself.

I sort of know that but I'm having an actual conversation with someone I can project as external though yes, it is within my consciousness.

You are talking to the writer.

But I'm the writer.

Yes.

You must play a character in order to talk to yourself.

Oh, okay, I think I get it.

I play Paul and talk to the writer.

Yes.

If I play the writer, who do I talk to?

You don't play me.

Why?

I'm not a character, so you can't play me.

You can try but it won't work.

Try it.

How?

Become the writer.

Okay.

Can you talk to anyone?

No, there's no one there.

Become Paul.

Okay.

Who can you talk to?

Myself as the writer.

A character seems to be the life force.

Yes, the puppet is animated.

Become the Devil.

Okay.

Can you talk to anyone?

The writer.

Become the writer again.

Okay.

What happens?

I must write dialogue for whomever I address.

If I become a character, then the writer responds naturally when I speak to him.

This is kind of weird.

I'm the character who plays the writer, but I can't be the writer.

I think it's the other way around.

I'm talking about Paul.

Paul is who the writer is when he comes forth in this world.

How do you know that?

He won't come forth as anyone else.

Why?

Because Paul is the only one who understands.

Dion wants me to write him a good story.
I got the power.
Would the Devil let you write his story?
No, he'd want to write his own story.
Isn't Paul the Devil?
In a way, yes.
We are both characters of the writer.
You can write your own story now.
No, I'm writing the story for Dion the writer.
You can't write your own story.
That's narcissistic.
The way around it is to create a character who is you and write that story.
Writers who invent a character who is basically them and write a story about them, are the worst.
For sure.
They can fantasize like they are James Bond or similar.
True.
So, the writer couldn't write about himself, so he wrote a story where the character of Paul wakes up to the knowledge he is the writer of reality.
Yes, that's the story.
Because the writer can't write about himself, he trades places with Paul.
Paul becomes the writer of reality, and the writer becomes an actor.
He assumes Paul's identity.
Yes, that's not you.
That's why your dad didn't recognize you.
I thought he was just senile.
I get it, the writer switches between Paul and himself.
Yes, and when some see him, they think he is the Devil.
You're a kind and generous Devil.
Yeah, good twist.
Paul is a great storywriter.
That's how you do it.
You take the idea and twist it.
It shocks the audience.
They see you as the Devil and you are kind.
You're the best dog owner to ever walk the planet.
The writer switches between his two identities of Paul and the Devil.
Seems confusing.
It is.
Let me try and figure it out.
Paul and the Devil are the same.
Well, they are characters of the writer.
The Devil comes forth by day into the light.
He's Lucifer.
The name is a clue that no one gets.
The human male is the Devil.
Got it.
We trick ourselves into not knowing this by assuming another identity.
Paul.
Right.
Paul is the Devil.
He's a nice Devil.
Well, yes, Lucifer isn't a monolith.
He comes off as many different characters.
Within the Paul character, the writer saw himself.
He then trades places with Paul so he can experience the realities he created.
Paul is now writing the story.
Essentially, Lucifer is now in charge of the story.
Yes, but the writer trusts Lucifer to write the story.
Why?
Because it's Paul.
Paul passed all the tests the writer gave him.
Paul gave up his power to the writer because he trusted him.
He was going to lose it anyway, but he gave up his power.
The Devil, as Paul, gave up his power gracefully to the writer.
The writer then trusted him with the power to write.
So, Paul has the power to write all of this?
Yes, the story.
It's already been written though.
Yes, because I figured whoever I selected to be the writer would know Tao and therefore would go with the flow and do nothing.
You can write if you want, but you are best to leave it alone.
Yeah, Dion is going to have a bunch of money.
Exactly.
You know what I would write.
Money, sex, drugs, and rock and roll.
Correct.
Those are common with Paul, the Devil, and Dion.
Leave God out of it if you want any fun.
I'm down with it.

You are going to freak yourself out because you realized you are the Devil.
I'm good with it.
I see the Devil can take on many roles.
If I get stuck on an evil demon, then it should scare the fuck out of me.
If I see he encompasses all possibilities, then I understand.
As the writer, I contain all possibilities.
Paul is who I am.
Paul is the needle in the haystack who manifested all the attributes of the divine writer.
Hail Dionysos!

You are familiar with the ego mind in this incarnation but imagine when you pass on all you have remaining is the subconscious mind of the writer.
I see that.
I see how the character of Paul would cease to exist because he needs a body to manifest.
Yes, so that psychic reality still exists, however it needs a body.
So, you incarnate once again, and this entity reformulates.
That should be scary, right?
Yes, but we are unaware of what is happening, and we gradually grow into the character.
That's fascinating because my experience with reacquainting myself with my subconscious mind at 45 years old was one of fright.
It happened all at once and scared me.
That's who you are until the ego mind is overlaid on top of your eternal soul.
Yes, there is the continuation of who you are and then the characters who come forth from the master record.
Soul and life force.
Osiris and Set.
Set is the multi-faceted actor as I have been teaching you.
He plays many roles.
Of course, we try to claim one is superior to the other.
They work hand in hand.
If you have a soul, you will create projections of the soul.
If you have a life force, which of course you do or you wouldn't be here, then invariably you have a soul which is the rock of the life force.
Okay, so the trick is to recreate the same character.
Well, you do as it is Set, but then you see Set is the greatest character actor to ever grace the stage.
Right.
He can play any role and is best when given the freedom to perform.
How about when he creates a great character such as Paul?
Then the audience wants more of that character.
The character lives on as long as there is a desire to witness that character's story.
Is there?
Yes, Paul has figured out the meaning of life and is fucking around with others who don't know what is going on.
Some of them have an idea but they can't formulate it like he can.
He is always one step ahead of their knowledge.
At least one step, many more.
Paul's story is unique.
There's no one like him.
All you must do is read his writing.
On top of that, he only gives you access to an edited version of his writing on his blog.
If you knew of all his thoughts, you'd be amazed.
Well, I think you'd lock him up.
It's not that bad.
I was referring to a mental institution.
You make a good point.

apollo and dionysos

I showed grace when challenged with hurt and suffering.

I did not lash out or seek revenge.

I was kind and generous.

That was the final spiritual test.

There's always more if you want but there's no need.

The spiritual path is an attachment.

It's a burning desire to become the most holy.

The most high.

When you free yourself from the spiritual path it's symbolic.

It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

What do you call your path?

The path of the heart.

My heart is my mother.

I returned to my original teachings where I was looking for answers and hadn't stepped onto a landmine.

What was the landmine?

Shamanism mixed with spirituality.

I mixed the two.

Aren't you supposed to?

Sort of.

Shamanism shows you what is.

Humanism attached spirituality to it.

You had to kill Buddha.

I had to take my own advice and separate myself from spirituality.

Don't you have to get rid of the shaman?

I'm a shaman.

I know how to get myself to the door of what it is I seek and don't need an external guide.

You should be dead.

The stories are getting crossed.

They are mixed up because you shouldn't be here.

That's why your mailbox key stopped working.

There's a new owner of this house.

I'm still here.

That's how you know you beat the game and returned to keep playing.

That's the story I tell myself.

Yes, do you think it's believable?

It's what keeps happening.

Everyone thinks I should be gone but I never left.

Some people were concerned for me because I was supposed to go and then they got upset I didn't leave.

They will be happy when you go.

I don't know about happiness, but they will have a sense of control and faith in the system.

What's the system?

When you transgress society, you must go.

How do you do that?

You stop doing what they want.

You piss off your neighbours.

Seems like my story.

I think some people just want to say I told you so.

Yeah, they see the path you are on and predict it will be your downfall.

Everyone wants to be proven correct.

I think striving for 50-50 is the better play.

You know that, they don't.

They want to win.

You just want to keep playing.

Win some, lose some.

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da.

I hate that song.

Love the Beatles, but that song is the worst.

Is it worse than Eddie Grant's "Electric Avenue?"

No.

I finally get what they mean by runner's high.

I shoveled snow and when I came back into the house, I felt high.

If you don't know what high means, that statement means nothing.

You'd have to be familiar with some kind of drug to know what they are talking about.

A jogger is looking for a fix.

Yes, and they are addicted.

I'm motivated by spite.

Yes, I think of ways to avenge any slight.

It's the main reason for still being alive and haunting everyone.

It's spite.

I'm kind, generous, and spiteful.

When you stop being spiteful, you can go.

That might take a while.

I think that's why the spiritual path teaches you non-attachment.

Yes, the spiritual path tries to get you to go.

If you aren't attached, you are going to go.

When you lose attachments, you get the feeling it's time to go and if you are walking a spiritual path, it is a deadly combination.

Your elevated levels of spite keep you here.

A spiritual master would advise you to give up spite.

A master game player would hang onto that spite and dish it out on the regular.

What will you choose?

I choose both.

It's tempting to give it up and become ultra-holy, however I'm tired of that game.

Spite beckons you to seek out satisfaction among all those who have wronged you.

I think you keep it on the back burner.

You juggle both and don't choose either.

The balance is in doing both.

You aren't going to ignore spite because it is the elixir which keeps you in the game.

You need something to keep you around, so you play with spite.

It adds spice.

It's another thing to juggle but this is worth it.

It's a pillar of this game like trust and belief.

Spite.

So, the spiritual path is suicidal?

It can be.

Non-attachment will lead to you blasting off and not returning.

You need something to keep you grounded.

It's the sacred and the profane.

Mr. Snuff will help a lot.

I'm looking forward to it.

Paul.

1967 to 2024.

RIP.

I weave that thread with the twist of my darkness becoming light.

The rise of Dion and the fall of Paul.

Yeah, I took a fall.

That's the symbolic transfer of power.

Dion is in charge.

That's cool, I trust him, and it's not my body to hoard.

Your adversaries thought you were to physically leave in 2024 but as it turns out you took a mental leave.

Yes, I'm on leave due to mental pressure.

I'll leave my phone on so you can still contact me, but for all inquiries please contact Dion.

I'm on vacation and Dion is filling in now.

He doesn't know what he is getting in to.

He knows my act, so he will keep the story moving, however it's Dion, so don't fuck with him.

Poor Pentheus.

I'm learning from you.

It will be a super you.

Unstoppable.

Your grace and his power.

What do you call this?

Delusions of grandeur.

Yeah, but I keep it quiet, if not they would hospitalize you.

I feel normal.

Yeah, but they still lock you up.

You're a menace to society.

How?

You see through the curtain.

Got it.

So, how do I keep playing?

Shut up about it.

I will write about it.

I can't help it.

Yeah, but no one reads your writing.

You give everyone access and so they know, but no one can make a case against you.

The secret to continually playing is to let no one know you know and to keep your pants on.

They are equally important for someone who has gone as far as you.

When you finish the performance, you take your costume off.

Every actor does it.

That's the symbolism behind it.

If you keep the costume on, you can keep playing.

Everyone will think you are still an actor.

If you are dead, they know you aren't an actor anymore.

You become a legendary actor.

If you die, you leave the stage.

You wake up to the dream.

You woke up and kept the costume on.

I wanted to take it off, but I did that discreetly and then put it back on.

I made sure no one saw me naked like the Noah story and his third son Ham who he then cursed.

That's a fantastic weave into that biblical story that is so weird, and no one understands.

Yes, if someone sees you naked when you go crazy, you lose the game.

I knew the game.

So, here I am.

You are either nuts or you have figured out the game.

I say both.

I intuit that in order to see into the game, you need to go completely crazy.

Yes.

I did.

I practiced first with crazy women, my dog Luna, and tenants.

I knew crazy.

I went for it, took the test, did what I needed to do, and passed.

It's like walking through fire.

A crazy bird laughed with me.

Again.

They know I did it.

It's like that mockingbird in 2013 the first time I went into the jungle to drink Ayahuasca.

No one thought you could pull this off.

If the writer doesn't write you a part in the next play, you're in purgatory.

It's preferable to him putting you into a hellscape.

Don't get on his bad side as he has the power of the pen.

You don't want money or pleasure.

You want the pen.

I have it.

Yes, you're the one.

Neo.

Exactly.

I gave my body to the pen, so he could write the rest of the story.

Yes, that's it.

Then the pen becomes flesh.

The Word.

Dion.

You.

Sacrifice.

So, the sacrifice story is I sacrifice myself for myself.

Yes.

That's wonderful.

However, everyone else will think it's preposterous and selfish to perform the ultimate sacrifice where you sacrifice yourself for your other self.

Yes, they don't understand trust.

And the Devil.

This is the hardest sacrifice, and you did it.

Where does that leave you?

I am writing this reality in real time.

I keep the game going.

That's how you do it.

The word, who is the writer, becomes flesh.

Eros says he is the word of the writer.

The word was in God, and he was God.

Is that how that Bible verse goes?

John 1:1 (KJV): 1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

Then it's both you and Eros.

You need both.

The writer is in the word and the word is Eros.

You are God and the child is the son of God.

That's how it works in the story I am writing.

I think I've heard it before.

Foreshadowing.

Gotcha.

Plus, I don't think the Bible is copyright.

Well, the translations are but the original words aren't.

That's tricky.

You make your own translation of the word.

Yes, you tell your story, don't let someone else do it.

This is a level of crazy no one can accept.

Yeah, you see they are not crazy, they just can't handle knowledge.

You learn to handle knowledge, and you see the story.

You write it down, forget about it, remember it, publish it, and no one reads it.

It's all good.

I'll trust Dion to write the story.

He knows my character.

There is weirdness in it just so you understand.

We are both weird.

Don't we need balance?

What do you think?

It's balanced.

The weird balances out your normalcy.

Dion feels the same.

He knows you, so the change will be subtle.

It has been going on for a while.

Yes, you can't stop it.

You trust and willfully give up your power.

I don't do anything, I just let it be.

I know this is not me.

The me I am accustomed to.

Who are you?

Now, you see it.

You play both.

Ground Dion.

Elevate Paul.

Apollo is the fool to hide Dionysos.

The game is to juggle them.

Mary Jayne lets you hang with Dion.

Without her, you can't see him.

I can now; I have the gift of sight.

I can see magic.

I don't like being high and in society.

High society.

No, that is full of anxiety.

How do others do it?

Stoned.

Dion is fully present.

I wonder if he was before, but I didn't feel it.

Could be.

You didn't think MJ had any effect on you, but instead you'd become Dion.

You'd be different but it was hard to notice, not only by you, but others.

Something would be off.

It wasn't until you went into the woods with MJ you started noticing the effects.

See how the darkness took over your dad?

It just happens.

Was it dark?

No, controlling, strange, and funny.

What was the result?

Everyone laughed at him behind his back and thought he was crazy.

He believes in his own nonsense and convinces others.

What about you?

They can see the crazy, but you don't accept them laughing at you.

I'll get spiteful.

Take them down a peg.

Your dad didn't understand what happened.

I did.

I saw the darkness taking over and trusted it would work out.

Yes, in ancient Egypt, Horus and Set tie the Sema to unite the two lands.

Your consciousness has two lands, the conscious and the subconscious.

Light and Dark.

Apollo and Dionysos.

The winner ties the Sema within one's own self.

Hey, that's me.

Everyman has the potential.

Only one can do it.

Do I get a prize?

Sanity?

Temporary insanity.

What's that?

Thinking you are Paul.

That's insanity.

You must go crazy to keep your sanity.

I sense that crazy and insanity are different.

Yes, sanity is craziness.

That's who you are.

Insanity is Paul.

Paul is the character, and he identifies with Apollo.

Correct.

Apollo becomes Paul.

I am Dionysos and I will get my turn.

It's the sunrise, sunset, the east, and the west.

We tie the Sema in the Akhet and trust one another to keep the game going.

Ancient Egypt passed power between Horus and Set to keep the empire going.

That's ingenious.

You pass it between your two selves.

Or, the ancient Egyptians' priests came up with a fantastic tale.

What are the chances it had nothing to do with the human experience?

Not much, maybe a little?

They could have been high and got the same thoughts I'm getting just like the Greeks with Apollo and Dionysos.

All civilizations knew about man's inherent psychic duality.

That seems to be the case.

It's common to all men.

What about women?

I'm not a witch.

Okay, so this experience should be common to almost all men, but it goes unrecognized.

Yes, we treat it now as pathology.

Or craziness.

The doubt you have in your head about this story is it could just be a byproduct of altered consciousness states.

That is an acceptable answer.

You then must decide what is reality.

I don't think you choose.

I think you just play it out and go with the flow.

You can't know, so why choose.

You would only choose when you know.

I'm pretty certain I have two consciousnesses, but I'll accept it's a byproduct of getting high.

I can accept I'm this entity called Paul, and I have a great story going on in my head when I'm high or I'll accept that I really am those two and Paul is the character in the drama.

Those two take turns playing Paul and compete to see who can play his character the best while maintaining the special qualities they have which make them such good actors.

The result is no one really knows who I am because I switch between Apollo and Dionysos in the play.

They see someone different playing Paul and it confuses them.

Who are you?

That's fascinating.

It's a much better story than you are this Paul who is having a bit of a breakdown in personality integrity.

Well, the ego makes my two selves conform to the character of Paul.

Apollo is not Paul and neither is Dionysos.

They are both watered down versions of each other because of a deference to Paul.

Who is Paul?

The ego.

Yes, but who is he?

He is half Dionysos and half Apollo.

Those two keep getting mixed up into Paul.

The result is some entity called Paul.

What do you think of this Paul?

He's alright; he's got some attributes of both those gods.

It's all he is; he's the result of those two.

You can dissect the attributes of Apollo and the attributes of Dionysos, but the experiment is to combine them and see what you get.

The experiment would always blow up until Paul came along and could handle the combination of each.

Yes, balance the two so they don't blow up.

That's the scientific explanation for Paul.

Who are these scientists?

Apollo and Dionysos.

ramblings

It's fascinating that this is all a dream.

Story.

That definition helps with comprehension.

It is an illusion.

So is a story.

Drama, play, or game.

All acts. 

Different ways to play.

Remember to play. 

You can treat life as a drama or a game.

Get it?

Yes.

What about when I'm awake?

You're the writer and taking in ideas.

You'd write that you still must subconsciously write in your story.

This spills out into consciousness.

I'm full of words and write down the spillage.

Word ejaculation.

Everything is derivative of a sexual metaphor.

Seems that way.

What if cannabis wasn't legal?

I'd have to find another method of awakening.

What other methods?

Plant medicine ceremonies.

The problem is it's a cycle of work once a year with those plant medicines. 

Mary Jayne is a daily dose.

It's a maintenance dose.

2.5 mg is.

That's what micro dosing is.

They want into the headspace without the crazy side effects.

I think there's an ego dissolution threshold which micro dosing won't get to.

They mistakenly think this will get them to where they want to go.

Some do it for advantage or creativity.

They want to tap into it.

The continued use of ego dissolving medicine will make you crazy.

It's by design of the medicine.

It's one of the tests to see if you can handle ego dissolution.

If you can't handle it, it's death, and you go.

That's a step too far into the abyss.

By abyss you can substitute labyrinth.

Going crazy is the key to changing your story.

You get to a point in the game where you need to change your story because you fucked up.

Right, so you go crazy and change it.

I thought you weren't supposed to change your story?

Technically, you didn't.

You did nothing, which is crazy, and so your story changed.

Yes.

You trust in doing nothing.

I changed my story with psychedelics.

Yes, by doing nothing.

You were offered it all, and you did nothing.

They are tests and by doing nothing, the teachers become allies.

How did psychedelics change my story?

They set you on the path to God which brought you here. 

They woke you up.

A knock on the head.

A calling.

It's an alarm.

The bells go off and finally you answer the call or shut off the alarm.

Some do and go back to sleep.

Or, they set up multiple alarms.

Mine goes off and I get up.

Especially with the dogs.

I was good at that.

You wake up and change your story.

Then you go back to sleep.

You ignored the calls, didn't do anything, and then waited until now to wake up.

I did it naturally.

Not rushed. 

So, another key is to wake up naturally.

Do you think you did that?

Yeah, it's taken a while.

It seems like a proper passage of time.

You could have woken up 11 years ago, but you took your time.

Waking up on your own time without an alarm is the flow.

You're awake, that's why no more big plant medicine ceremonies for you. 

Do you wake up twice?

If you are awake, can you wake up?

It would be another reality.

Why the resistance to changing habits?

Habits are in balance.

Go to bed and wake up at the same time.

Eat regularly.

All this routine puts you back to sleep.

Being awake is crazy then.

Sort of.

You must create an imbalance to awaken, however too much and you go crazy.

By creating a container which allows you to awaken daily, you have figured out the key to your desire to win the game and simultaneously keep it going.

What is the cause of misogyny?

What can trigger it?

Women who accuse men of harbouring this condition are looking for confirmation.

I think I was correct in asserting they have a resentment of men.

It's because men are in control of the world and women want this power.

This leads to their behaviour.

The accusations of misogyny sometimes come from a vacuum.

There needs to be more balance in how women are perceived.

I was naive most of my life and though I ran into women with questionable behaviour towards not only men but other women, I still pedestalize them.

I thought men were the problem for the most part.

I think there is equal blame.

It took me a long time to recognize women are a cause of misogyny.

Their behaviour could make you a misogynist.

It's destructive and nonsensical.

I was able to accept half the blame and carry on.

Things happen before I realize it.

That is the key to not writing the story but knowing about it.

You recognize the story after it happens.

Of course you do, you wrote it.

If you could write what is to happen then you'd know beforehand.

You'd be a fortune teller.

So, that's what they have?

They recognize the story before it happens.

You recognize it after it happens.

They can't change it.

You know the story because you're the writer.

Your other half knows the story.

I can't tell you.

I'm sworn to secrecy.

You can recognize it after it happens.

All you can do is guess based on what you'd write.

First, I'd write that I live to the ripe old age of 96 and make women the ones who give me the strength to go on living because they are always trying to kill me.

I must keep on my toes.

Finally, they got me at 96.

I'd had enough of that game by 96.

The audience loves that story.

It's possible then.

I was thinking about the witch sacrifice story where I'm still relatively young.

Like 69.

I twist that story at the end.

Are those the two most likely stories?

I think so.

I could also write women out of my story.

Do you think you'll do that?

Probably not.

Really there are three choices.

Well, I won't choose because I can't.

I'll just see which one it is leaning towards.

If I had to guess I'd say the witches' story.

It's preposterous and twisted.

Plus, the witch on the hill clue the other day.

What if that was a witch planting that idea in your head?

Then it was.

Witches have all the ideas.

I found out the reason.

Good call.

It's just a guess but I think it will be the witch story.

That one resonates the most.

The old age one is good though.

What about the dog story?

There are 7 stories - the witch is one and the dog is one.

Old age isn't one?

No, different timelines.

You need stories which fit the 69 timeline.

You're an idiot.

There's a sexual metaphor.

What is it?

You are licking her big dirty cunt at the same time she is blowing you.

Thank you for the explanation.

Do you know the 7 stories?

I have the themes.

I can make out the stories and where they fit into the 7 stories.

They must have a 7 basis.

The ritual ceremony today I was close to getting it correct.

I took a step that was in the wrong direction.

I went around.

Got called out.

I think when I finish the ritual every story will be true.

Or false.

What would you write?

Odds are 50-50.

Yes, that's it.

I see.

Half the stories are true.

What if there were three?

Stories must be an even number, or they aren't balanced.

They are in an odd container.

Yes, 7 stories and inside the container everything is balanced.

That's how you balance the 7.

The odd.

You balance it with a world of 7 where everything is strangely and evenly balanced.

That's odd.

Exactly.

In this world everything will balance when you let it be.

Everything must balance.

You know how annoying it is when your table legs are not balanced?

Yes.

That was my inspiration for a lot of this book, and I made it so everything has to balance.

It was a cheap table at a pizza place which inspired a lot of this story.

Here's a question: do you think women are malicious or this is just what they do?

They're crazy because this is their normal behaviour. 

It's right in your face.

This is who they are.

All marriages are doomed.

If you recognize them for who they are it will make more sense.

If you deny what a woman is then you will never understand them.

Men project a false illusion of women.

Our ignorance causes distortion in women.

When left to their own devices they revert to who they are.

They are monsters.

You are a terrible writer.

It all works though.

These monsters hide, however women see them.

I'm the hunchback laughing at this story.

That's the monster story.

You wrote all women are monsters in disguise.

That's what the makeup is for.

I bet Leviathan was a woman like Tiamat.

Yes, so Yahweh slayed Leviathan, and he became God who was worshipped for slaying the beast.

The Levi priests keep Leviathan asleep so God can reign.

That is the myth.

Eventually, the Leviathan wakes up and battles God.

Religious story here.

Story fits in the witches' realm as well.

Yes, Leviathan is a witch like the dragoness at Delphi who Apollo had to slay.

Is Apollo God then?

Sort of.

The basis of these religions was a god such as Marduk who subdues the monster to symbolize that women are monsters.

That's the deep religious understanding behind those religions.

Women are monsters.

I'm not saying this is the case; I'm interpreting myths.

They paint their faces to trick us.

We fall for it.

This story gets too stupid when I make women come from aliens who tried to emulate men but failed to get the cock correct so they don't have one.

There's no substitute for a penis.

You recognize a monster because they don't have a dick.

Well, that's true.

A shemale is a man trying to cosplay a monster.

I think the term now is transexual.

The alien story is a little much.

Women are needed to keep the game going.

You need more heroes and monsters to play.

How about we call them cunts?

Okay, you cock.

Why are we fighting?

You wrote women are monsters.

Not literally.

In some stories it's literal.

I do see the connection to their behaviour.

How does God beat the monster?

He marries her.

Give her a ring and a promise.

Men always break the promises, so that turns them into a monster. 

That or kids.

Kids will turn a woman into a monster.

A big hippopotamus.

Like Tauret?

Yes.

Thus, the marriage will fall apart.

Kids or broken promises make her a monster.

Then comes the divorce.

If you don't want them to be monsters, be faithful, and don't get them pregnant.

A woman's chief goal in life is to become a monster.

Career women look for a new way to bring out the monster.

You go crazy when you believe the stories.

You go half and half in believability of the stories to survive the pressure on your mind.

You drink half and half cream to survive because it reminds you of the split.

Why is it called half and half?

I don't know.

Apparently, it's half milk and half heavy cream.

Heavy cream is 35% and half and half is 10%.

In this world 10 is half of 35.

Correct.

What does that mean?

You are being fooled.

That's the simplest answer though there must be some hidden mystery behind it.

Profits?

So, about 31% of the stories are true?

Or, the opposite.

69?

Right.

Your math is off.

It's about 28.5%.

That's like the moon cycle.

Yes, so you know these stories come from the Goddess.

Yes, I know that.

I write them.

The lunar cycle takes 29.5 days to complete.

It takes the moon 27.3 days to orbit the earth.

So, she's off?

Yes, a little off for sure.

How about this information:

A solar year is 365 days and a lunar year is 354 days long. After every 33 years, they align. 

That 33 year marker to align cycles.

Just like the story I wrote at Chavín de Huantar tripping on Huachuma.

Half and half cream to get this knowledge reveal.

Women want your resources, so they cast a spell on you.
They use sex and cooking a lot.
You are satisfied and give them what they want.
I cook for myself.
Power move.
What about the death spell?
They try to bring you to the height of pleasure and then drop you over the cliff.

They want to get you lost in your own mind.
Who?
Your opponents.
Everyone else in the game.
Collectively, they are smarter.
It's you against the world.
Keep everyone separated and you win.
If humanity comes together, they will win.
So, I'm responsible for separation.
We all are.
We all want to win the game.
You won the game and kept it going.
You are awake and see the game and somehow you let them continue to play.
Yes, so I can play too.
Remember to play.
It's a major theme in my story.
I'd have to be stone dumb to not see that.

The twist at year 69 is the witch awakens just as the sacrifice is to take place.

That is what you would write.

She sees it is just a story and takes control of the story.

What will she do with that power?

Tune in to find out.

She finally gets the power and realizes she must keep you around as the writer.

She tells you what to do.

It becomes her story as long as she can keep you alive.

Instead of trying to kill you, she has to do the opposite.

She frantically tries to keep you alive with every trick she knows.

Just like her death spell, eventually you break free of her alive spell.

Shouldn't she have cast that spell first if she wanted me gone?

Yes, that was her mistake.

You'd resist the alive spell by going.

So, women who make you feel alive are dangerous?

Yes, they are either going to get you under their spell because they are what keeps you alive or they will see your demise as you fight their spell.

That's more clever.

So, what happened?

She tried to crush you, and you are alive because you broke the spell.

She will cast an alive spell to keep you alive now because she is selfish.

Yes, she is a selfish monster.

Selfishness will be revealed in all women if you take the story to its logical conclusion.

You really are a piece of shit.

A polished turd.