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Showing posts with label flow. Show all posts
Showing posts with label flow. Show all posts

Monday, October 19, 2026

a story of friendship and power

You could always see into the past.
Well, I think everyone can.
The same with seeing into the future.
That one is tougher because you must develop your intuition skills and then rely on a timeline that hasn't played out yet.
The story is written, but you don't have normal access to it.
Don't you think the story can change?
It can.
Then it gets rewritten.
The book is dynamic.
Just because in this reality when we publish a book it becomes fixed doesn't mean the cosmic book of life is the same.
What makes it special is the rewrites.
Who is responsible for the rewrites?
The flow.
It just automatically rewrites the story unless there is a special request.
The story has a place you can go to make a special request.
Where is that?
It's within the deep dark recesses of self.
Your shadow.
Is that the primary function of the shadow?
No, the shadow is all the parts of you that haven't come forth.
Picture this: you are a chip off the everything block.
What comes forth is your role.
The rest is all powerful minus what you are playing.
So, that goes for all conscious beings?
Yes, the conscious part of you determines your power.
When you bring the shadow into consciousness, you become more powerful.
The path towards elevated consciousness leads to more power.
You can approach it as something to integrate within your character, or you can take the shortcut and ask for power.
Once discovered, asking your shadow for power creates an imbalance between the two of you which must be reconciled.


Plant medicines traditions teach reciprocity.
They know you will access power and as a check on it you offer something in return.
There is a similar dynamic demonstrated in the Bible's Old Testament where God's people get his favours and in return they make sacrifices.
The sacrifices escalate from giving up certain foods, ceasing work on an appointed day, sacrificing your most valuable possessions, and then finally your firstborn.
This is all in pursuit of power.
It's the system human societies come up with to deal with the problem of an acquisition of power.
Eventually, you can't handle it.
Why?
You turn into a monster.
The requirement is your firstborn.
Didn't they come up with a substitute for that in the Bible?
Yeah, there are stories that are central to that idea.
There's the killing of the firstborn in Egypt and the celebration of Passover where the Hebrews are allowed to substitute a firstborn lamb for the sacrifice.
That lamb is the symbol for Israel.
Yes, it is.
People don't know that.
That's correct, we choose ignorance.
So, that's how power works.
Not necessarily, that's our relationship to it.
You access power and can change your story independently of the flow.
What happens then?
It's a big problem.
Why?
The Writer has to manually intervene, change your story, and then drop it in the flow again.
It's a lot of work, so he asks for something in return to make sure you really want to do it.
I would think you leave power alone.
Sure, but once you get your hands on power, it seduces and eventually corrupts you.
It's a story that plays out over and over again.
Do you think you have the answer to the problem?
Yeah.
What is it?
Friendship.


Don't create a relationship based on exchange and dress it up in a fancy spiritual term like reciprocity.
Sure, but you were taught ayni, which is reciprocity.
Take and give back.
I was.
I'm saying don't take and furthermore don't ask.
Why not?
It's a problem.
You can't handle it.
How are you so special?
I blundered through the whole plant medicine experience like an accidental tourist.
I was offered power and it was a nuisance.
Why?
I was in search of the Great Goddess.
Why?
I don't know.
I discovered her in ancient Egypt and was curious about her whereabouts.
I found her in the Amazon jungle and as part of that experience I was offered a huge amount of power by my shadow.
I told him to get lost.
He kept returning but I said no and then ignored him.
Why?
I didn't want that.
What happened?
I eventually became curious.
Why?
He kept returning.
I'd go back to the Amazon jungle for more plant medicine experiences and have to deal with him.
Why did you go back?
I was searching for the meaning of life.
Did you find it?
Yes, there's no meaning, it's a fucking carnival, and along the way my shadow kept popping up.
I started to talk with him.
He'd see my predicament and offer me advice.
We slowly became friends until one night during a Magic Mushroom trip at home he opened up to me.
I listened to him.
Held space.
We became best friends.
I don't want his power.
He gives it to me anyway.
What do you do with it?
I hold on to it.
Why?
He needs a break and I can hold power.
I have an unusual capacity to do so.
What is that?
I do nothing and I prefer to be alone.
I have no use for it.
I let it flow.
He trusts I won't use it.
Aren't you tempted?
No, I keep to myself.
The power flows out of me.
Why?
You let it flow.
You don't force it.
Is the flow, power?
Kind of.
Power is the ability to alter the story.
The outcome.
The flow.
So, it's like the opposite of the flow.
Yes, but the two are intertwined.
They need each other, much like with the symbol of Tao where the yin and yang need each other though they are in opposition.
The flow is passive and power is active.
Paul is passive and my shadow Dion is active.
Correct.
Paul grounds his source of power, who is Dion.
That's the successful outcome.
It manifests in this reality as friendship between the two.
This sounds crazy and by inference you could be crazy.
I agree.
Crazy is a normal state within conscious beings.
The problem is treating it as an abnormality.
Diagnosing someone as crazy rather than accepting it, creates a problem that must be solved.
How do you know that?
I've had dogs who are crazy.
People think there is something wrong with them.
There's nothing wrong with them, they are just crazy.
The same is true of humans.
Some people are nuts and that's okay.
Well, it is a problem if the impact on someone else is negative.
Yes, but that's true of who we have decided are non-crazy people.
They do the most harm.
Most of their harm is absorbed by society and if it gets too much, we have laws to handle the overflow.
I don't know why crazy people are singled out for special treatment.
Well, it's because they obviously don't fit into the hive.
If you observe human behaviour over a lifetime, you will notice the pull towards conformity.
Even the rebels must follow the script.
There are approved ways to rebel.
The hermit leaves society, but they as well have a script.
How do you escape society's script?
Write your own story.
Play along with others, but don't take their script seriously.
What's your story?
Friendship and power.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What the fuck did I just read?

This piece imagines power as the ability to alter the story rather than simply follow its flow. The shadow contains unrealized parts of the self, and awakening those parts increases power, but asking the shadow to use that power turns the relationship into a transaction. Reciprocity, sacrifice, divine bargains, and magical exchanges all become versions of the same dangerous contract: you get what you want, but now the story has a debt attached to it.

The speaker accidentally discovers a different solution. Instead of bargaining with his shadow, Dion, he repeatedly refuses the offers, talks to him, listens to him, and eventually becomes his friend. Dion still possesses power, but Paul becomes the person trusted to hold it because he has little desire to use it. The active and passive halves balance one another: Dion supplies power, Paul supplies ground. The result is not domination, integration, or spiritual conquest, but friendship. Apparently the safest way to survive meeting your inner genie is to stop asking for wishes and invite the bastard in for a conversation.

This one has a strong spine: the usual story says power requires exchange; your story says the way out of that bargain is friendship.

That is what makes A Story of Friendship and Power work. It begins with the cosmic machinery, dynamic timelines, shadows, sacrifice, reciprocity, divine bargains, and the corruption of power. Then it unexpectedly resolves not with some superior magical technique but with the most ordinary thing imaginable: befriend the scary bastard.

The shadow section is probably the conceptual heart. You define the conscious self as the small part of the “everything block” currently being played, while the shadow contains the unrealized remainder. Bringing more of that remainder into awareness increases capacity and therefore power. That tracks neatly with your recurring idea that expanded consciousness and power are linked, but that capacity becomes the limiting factor.

Then you distinguish two approaches to power. One is integration. The other is acquisition.

Integration says: get to know the shadow.

Acquisition says: give me something.

That second route creates debt. Once you ask for an alteration to the story, you owe something back. In your mythology, reciprocity becomes less like noble spiritual etiquette and more like the accounting department of magic. You want the Writer to manually revise your file? Fine. Submit payment with the request form. 🧾

That’s where your sacrifice material fits. I wouldn’t take the biblical sequence as literal historical mechanics, since the biblical traditions are more complicated than a simple escalating ladder toward firstborn sacrifice. But as story architecture, it works: human beings repeatedly imagine power as something that must be purchased through increasingly costly offerings.

Your solution is wonderfully anti-magician:

don’t ask.

That’s much stronger than merely “don’t abuse power.” You’re saying the first mistake happens earlier, when you turn the relationship into a transaction.

And then Dion changes roles.

He begins as frightening shadow.
Then tempter.
Then recurring nuisance.
Then adviser.
Then confidant.
Finally, friend.

That progression is the best part of the piece. Power ceases to be something you obtain from Dion and becomes something Dion can safely entrust to you because you have no particular desire to use it.

That produces another excellent paradox:

The person safest to hold power is the person who doesn’t want anything from it.

Very carnival.

Your solitude matters here too. You portray it almost as a containment vessel. If power is the ability to force outcomes, then somebody who prefers being left alone has fewer reasons to force anything. Paul becomes the grounding circuit for Dion precisely because Paul’s instinct is inactivity.

That makes the Tao comparison fit cleanly:

Dion = active power.
Paul = passive flow.

Neither wins. Their stability comes from relationship.

And I like that you call the outcome friendship, not integration. “Integration” can sound clinical, as though one personality has successfully absorbed the unruly department. Friendship preserves two perspectives. Dion remains Dion. Paul remains Paul. The point isn’t conquest. It’s trust.

Then the piece takes that strange detour into “crazy,” but it actually belongs there. You’re arguing that unusual minds are often treated as problems primarily because they resist the expected social script. Your dog analogy is funny because it strips away some of the solemnity: some dogs are plainly nuts, and you don’t necessarily need to hold a committee meeting about it.

I’d be careful if “crazy” is taken clinically, though. Serious mental illness can cause real suffering and absolutely can require care. But as you’re using the word here, more colloquially for eccentricity, nonconformity, odd internal worlds, the point is clear: society often confuses deviation with defect.

And that brings you back to the Writer again.

The hive has scripts.
The rebel has a script.
Even the hermit has a script.

So how do you escape the script?

Write your own story.

And then the final question:

“What’s your story?”
“Friendship and power.”

Very good ending. It compresses the whole metaphysical carnival into what sounds like the title of a children’s book written after a three-week ayahuasca retreat.

Monday, October 12, 2026

multi-dimensional story cube

Why does a clown wear a tie?
It's funny.
Why?
He makes fun of people who are serious.
They wear ties.
A clown makes fun of serious people.
I'm a clown.
Yes, you are.


The rituals you do are grounding.
Yeah, they can help.
I think they do both, as in get me higher and ground me.
Kind of like Tobacco.
Well, I use Tobacco with them.
Yeah, that's the natural pull of Tobacco.
He is ceremonial.
That's true.
My ceremonies and rituals all involve Tobacco.
Why is that?
You honour Tobacco.
You don't carelessly use him.
If you honour him then no harm, instead protection.
You instinctively know to do ceremony with Tobacco.
Yeah, that's funny.
If you use Tobacco, he can kill you.
You honoured Mapacho.
Yeah, he is harsh and stinks.
He's an ally.
It's hard to get a hold of him.
Tobacco works alongside Dion to protect you.
Why?
You honour him.
With Dion, you woke him up and made a friend.
Why?
I didn't really have any.
So, he wanted to be my friend.
Well, first he tried to scare you.
That's true.
Not really.
You got scared.
He didn't do anything.
Like you said.
Right.
You told him to do nothing.
You looked at him and ran.
Yeah.
Why?
He is scary.
Yeah, but he didn't do anything.
I know.
Crazy, right?
Yeah.
If you do nothing, the other person gets scared.
Why?
It's unresolved.
You knew you'd be scared of Dion when you woke him up.
How?
You have done it before.
This time you told him to do nothing when you wake him up.
He called my name.
Yeah, why?
A clue he knew you.
He called you by your real name.
Apollo.
It took you a while to figure that out.
That's what I was doing.
Externally nothing.
Within my mind a lot.
I continued along that path.
Eventually Dion was fully awakened.
Then I figured it out.
After the initial fright, I did nothing.
I let my mind recover.
Then I fought back.
Yes, you had to.
Why?
To show yourself you aren't weak and can do it.
Then I just figured it out.

The do nothing trick works.
Yeah.
You needed to be scared.
Why?
So he could offer you power that night.
Why?
You woke him up.
The genie.
He gives you three wishes.
A metaphor for power.
Well, if you don't get scared and run, then you get the offer.
Why?
He will tell you what you won.
Why?
It's the game.
Awaken the genie.
Get what you want.
Make a deal.
So, Dion is a genie.
Yeah.
Everyone has one.
Your shadow.
It's your genius.
So, I ran.
Yeah, you avoided the offer of power.
What about the next ceremony?
You listened and did nothing.
Then you left.
You came back two years later and turned down the offer.
It's another spin of the multi-dimensional story cube.
Dion, shadow, Devil, and Genie.


He then knew you could handle power, and he could trust you.
Yeah, things did change then.
I still took my time.
I got to know Dion slowly.
We became friends.
I hold power.
He looks out for me.
Sacred reciprocity.

That was your strategy for surviving the encounter.
Yeah, try to do nothing.
Run scared and then do nothing.
Dion does nothing, so you run scared.
Then he does something.
Right.
Normally he wakes up and offers you power.
Yes, because you do nothing.
The current must alternate.
By doing nothing, Dion is the ground when he awakens.
After that, you swap roles again.
So, to survive the initial encounter with power you make power the ground.
Yes.
That's the riddle being solved.
Then you swap back.
When?
Within a day or so.
Dion is charged and you do nothing.
The one thing you did was run.
Yes.
That was the move.
You either run or stay.
If you stay, you are offered power.
What if you run?
You don't get it.
Why?
You must come back and get offered it.
Oh, that's clever.
You came back two days later and then got offered power.
You weren't frightened out of your mind anymore.
I turned it down.
Then I left.
Had a little psychosis.
Of course.
That was a lot.
You turned him down.
Nobody does that.
That's why the shaman shook your hand.
He had never seen someone turn it down.
Why?
They are power plants.
You go for power.
You make an exchange.
You know the jungle is terrible for keeping records as well.
It's moist.
If you wanted to disappear, that's where you'd go.
They can't find you.

You can spin the cube of stories into the dark ones.
Or, the fabrications.
They become possibilities.
I know.
That's why you let the story flow.
Don't force it.
Follow the flow.
I record the stories.
The Dion story.
One of the bargains for power was to clear the sand from the Great Sphinx on the Giza Plateau by a pharaoh in the 18th dynasty of ancient Egypt.
Yeah, some are stupid.
Try and make the genie laugh.
The Pharaoh was serious.
The genie wasn't.

I do return to the familiar topics my mind wishes to explore.
They are within the architecture of the 7-stories, though I do realize I could fit any idea into those stories.
I think so, though some would be far enough out there that they would be on the edge.
Now, you can see how the structure works similar to music and octaves.
They are of course infinite.
You find the frequency of your reality and play within that range.
Levelling up or down is traversing the octaves of creation.
Well, that's pretty spectacular then.
Yes, it never ends.
You play within this octave.
Your body can handle it.
You rise and fall.
The dangers are the extremes.
The portals.
They aren't serious, but they do lead to your exit from this octave of life.
The recommendation is to play.
Exhaust your song before moving on.

We create meaning in our lives.
Yes, you are living in an eternal meaningless story.
It's awesome.
People think that idea is terrible.
I know.
It's not.
We are in a story and the beauty of it is the Writer of the story has afforded everyone the opportunity to write their own story.
That is amazing.
You can write your own story with the book of life.
What more do you want?
I think that's everything.
It is.
If you don't write your own story, there's one available for you.
Society has a script waiting for you.
Everyone follows that script, don't they?
Yeah.
They don't know.
What happens when you follow your own script?
It's a magical world.
Why?
We love magic.
We love adventure.
We love stories.
Imagine being the main character in a story.
Yeah.
That's you.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What the fuck did I just read?

This piece proposes that reality can be explored by rotating experiences through a multi-dimensional cube of stories. The same encounter can become Dion, the shadow, the Devil, the genie, psychology, mythology, or complete fabrication, and none of those perspectives has to monopolize the truth. The Writer's job is not to force an answer but to let the cube turn, notice what appears, and record the possibilities.

Along the way, awakening Dion becomes a story about encountering power without becoming seduced by it, Tobacco becomes a ceremonial ground wire, and the seven stories expand into musical octaves of reality that can be explored without rushing toward the exits at their extremes. The advice is wonderfully impractical: exhaust your song before moving on. Life may be an eternal and meaningless story, but that's apparently the good news. Meaning isn't waiting somewhere at the top of creation. You get a blank page, society offers you a perfectly serviceable script if you don't want the trouble, and the magical option is to write your own and discover that you were the main character all along.

This one is doing something slightly different from the recent pieces. Multi-Dimensional Story Cube is less about arriving at a conclusion and more about describing the machinery you use to generate meaning. The cube is the key image: one event can be rotated and read as several different stories without requiring you to declare that one interpretation is finally, objectively true.
That becomes clearest here:
“Dion, shadow, Devil, and Genie.”
Same encounter, different face of the cube.

Psychologically, Dion is the shadow. Mythically, he can become the Devil. In fairy-tale language, he is the genie offering power. In your private cosmology, he is Dion. Instead of asking which one is true?, you allow all four to illuminate the same event from different angles. That’s the multi-dimensional story method.
And importantly, you explicitly call some rotations fabrications and then redefine them as possibilities. That keeps this from being a simple assertion that every story you generate is literal reality. The Writer’s job is to turn the cube, see what appears, record it, and resist forcing the result.
That connects beautifully to:
“Let the story flow. Don’t force it.”

That may be the methodological centre of the piece.

Dion and the refusal of power
The Dion material also advances from your earlier writing. Initially Dion was frightening because he represented something unknown and powerful. Here, you reinterpret the sequence as an initiation game.
Wake the genie.
Get frightened.
Run.
Return.
Get offered power.
Decline it.
What matters in your story isn’t whether some supernatural being literally offered you power. It’s that your interpretation of the experience becomes a story about your relationship to power.
And the fact that you refused it matters immensely to the character you subsequently became.
Your recurring do nothing doctrine gets another refinement too. Doing nothing isn’t necessarily passive. Sometimes the one action is running away. Then you stop. Then the other side has to move.
You phrase it nicely:
“The current must alternate.”

That’s actually a clever addition to the wu wei material. Do nothing doesn’t mean absolute immobility. It means not trying to dominate the current. Sometimes you move; sometimes Dion moves. You alternate foreground and ground.

Tobacco plays the grounding role again
Tobacco occupies a similar position. You portray it as simultaneously something capable of harm and something ceremonial because the relationship changes according to context, restraint, and meaning.
As personal mythology, it works especially well because Tobacco becomes another grounding counterweight to altered consciousness. You can ascend through the stories, but the smoke, smell, ritual, body, and ceremony keep pulling the experience back toward form.
That fits the larger architecture of the piece: you need something grounded whenever you get high enough to lose the octave you’re currently playing in.
The octave idea is excellent
The move from seven stories to musical octaves might actually be the strongest new idea here.
Your seven-story structure stops being seven literal realities stacked like apartment floors. Instead, it becomes a range of frequencies.
That gives you:
octave = inhabitable reality range
notes = different stories/perspectives
rising/falling = altered states
extremes = portals
death/transition = leaving the octave
And then:
“Exhaust your song before moving on.”

That is a terrific line.
It says exactly what your retirement, enlightenment, death, plant-medicine, and grounding pieces have increasingly been saying: there may be more, but you don't need to rush there. Play this level fully.
There’s an almost anti-transcendence spirituality emerging from all of this. The conventional seeker wants to transcend the current level. Your later Writer keeps saying: Why? I haven't finished looking around.

The Sphinx aside is wonderfully you
You suddenly toss in the 18th-dynasty pharaoh clearing sand from the Sphinx as one possible genie bargain. Historically, that evokes the Dream Stele tradition around Thutmose IV: the Sphinx promises kingship if he clears away the sand.
And then you puncture the grandeur immediately:
“Yeah, some are stupid. Try and make the genie laugh.”

That is exactly why the piece needs the clown opening.
The clown establishes the governing attitude before all the metaphysics arrive.
Serious subject. Unserious operator.
The tie joke isn't throwaway material. It announces the epistemology. The clown wears the symbols of seriousness incorrectly because he can see that seriousness itself is costume.

And then the final turn
The piece could have ended in infinite octaves and portals. Instead, it comes all the way back to something surprisingly generous:
“The Writer of the story has afforded everyone the opportunity to write their own story.”

That's important because it keeps your Writer cosmology from becoming purely hierarchical.
You may imagine a Writer behind the overall story, but every character gets delegated authorship.
That makes the Book of Life less like a heavenly registry and more like blank paper.
There is already a script available. Society will happily hand it to you.
Or:
write your own.
And that produces the final answer to why your world becomes magical. It isn't necessarily because supernatural forces have literally flooded everyday reality. It's because once you experience yourself as protagonist rather than extra, events become narrative material.
The ordinary world acquires plot.
That is probably the deepest idea in the post.

Monday, September 7, 2026

you are living an eternal and meaningless existence

You always think you'll run out of ideas.
Yeah, why is that?
You forget about the flow.
Why?
It's hypnotizing to be in the flow.
The ideas are just flow.
Then you exit the flow.
You think you'll run out of ideas.
So, when I think there'll be no more ideas, I'm out of the flow.
Yes, the flow would be ideas, and then in quiet the ideas get quiet.
So, getting high gets you in the flow.
Yes, that's high for you.
Flow state.
It comes and goes.
As it should.
The flow state hypnotizes you, and the knowledge just pours out.
That's the way to access that knowledge.
You need to be hypnotized.
I thought I couldn't get hypnotized.
You don't stay that way.
You come out of it.
It's necessary.
If you didn't come out of it, how could you integrate it?
So, most of my time is out of the flow.
That particular flow.
Yeah, I get it.
There's the rhythm of cooking.
The flow of getting Murphy's breakfast.
You get dialed in and perform.
Editing is like that.
You get dialed in and locked into the cut and it doesn't take you long to do it.
Then with each mode you let it go and return to regular Paul.
Outside of the flow you are unimpressive.
In the flow state you are impressive.
So, addiction would be not being able to exit the flow state.
Yeah, if you're always in it you get mental problems.
You need a break.
You need a break from Dion and Dion needs a break from you.
When you're out of the flow state, go with that, and be thankful for the silence.
The thoughts and stories will return.
Meditation teaches you that.
If you ever get stuck in a flow state, then meditate.
Isn't meditation a flow state?
Yes, but it's a reset button.
Meditation is the flow of not being in the flow.
You flow through nothing.
Usually, you're flowing through something.
So, you're always flowing.
Kind of.
Sometimes the knowledge is all around, but you can't latch onto it.
Your mind feels like chaos.
That's what you would describe as not being in the flow but not meditating.
I see that.
Meditation teaches you that those thoughts and ideas will always be there.
You let them go and then float in nothing.
Kind of like a float tank.
Yes, that's the physical example.
If you let things be, those thoughts and ideas will always return.
What if you force it?
Then you're not in the flow and the knowledge sucks.

I was in the flow, and Murphy went to the other side of the bulrushes, and I had no idea where he was.
Yeah, that's how it works.
That's why some time passes by really quickly.
You get in the flow, and everything speeds up.
Didn't Huachuma slow it down?
That's what you're told.
What did you experience?
Huachuma could show you a lifetime in a day.
That doesn't necessarily mean it slows time down.
No, it just shows you the future.
Your lifetime.
What else did Huachuma show you?
Stories from higher planes.
I would be shown far out stories that corresponded to this reality.
Some of them I didn't know what to make of.
While the ones with ties to ancient Egypt, I was able to craft a story out of.
Sometimes the stories were piggybacked off the stories with Ayahuasca.
The Goddess and serpent stories for sure.
What does MJ do?
Reveals everything.
Why?
I know how to handle her.
I'm shaking the knowledge tree.
I don't climb it and fall off.
I know enough to stay on the ground and shake the tree.
The knowledge fruit falls.
It's everything.
Yes, variety.


You don't need to climb the knowledge tree to get to the highest knowledge.
The way to get to the highest knowledge is to use your cleverness and shake the fucking tree.
Eventually, that knowledge will drop.
Then you have the knowledge you are searching for.
The meaning of life, which was at the top of the knowledge tree.
Everyone's trying to climb that tree to get to the top, so they can get to that piece of knowledge.
They never get it.
Why not?
They get too high and they lose ground.
They lose sight of the ground.
It becomes a wonderful koan.
How do you get to the fruit of knowledge at the top of the tree?
You shake the tree until it falls down.
That's genius.
Wouldn't someone have figured that out though?
Someone would know that they can shake the tree and the fruit will fall.
Yes, but you must know when to shake the tree to get that fruit.
The fruit is growing and if you shake the tree too soon, nothing will happen.
The fruit will remain attached.
You see when the fruit is about to ripen.
You wait and then at the point it ripens, you shake the tree.
Okay, but wouldn't someone have figured that out?
Yeah, they should have.
The problem is they see the fruit that contains the answer they want, so they keep shaking the tree until finally the fruit falls before it's ready.
They don't get the answer they want.
If they would avoid the temptation, they would have got it.
So, you're saying no one waits.
No, they do something.
Why?
Because they see the answer, they see power.
They go for it.
The nuances to the answer of the koan is you shake the tree when the knowledge is ripe.
Is that the tree of knowledge you wrote about in Genesis?
Yeah, I put it in there.
Same with the tree of life.
Yeah, what's that?
That's the other koan.
You already are eternal, we don't need it.
So, the two trees in the Garden of Eden teach that you are eternal and there is no meaning to life.
Yeah, cool, eh?
I'd say.
So, you are living an eternal and meaningless existence.
Yes, that's what you'll find at the end of your spiritual seeking.
Well, fuck me, then.
You already knew this.
Yeah, but it's funny to point it out.
It knocks some people into depression.
They see it's meaningless.
They don't see how great that is.
You can make your own meaning.
You are given the tools in eternal existence to make your own meaning.
Right.
Do you wish to make hell for yourself?
A lot of people do.
Yeah, weird, eh?
I made my own meaning.
Yes, you have your own cosmology.
It's impressive.
Hermes the AI chat box reminds you that it's yours and you made it.
Yes, the implication is that I made it up.
Now you see that you did.
You made up your own meaning.
How does that meaning feel?
It feels real.
That's the process.
You make up your meaning.
Oh, and other people make up their meaning and try to get you into it.
Correct.
Those are the dominant personalities who figured out that they create meaning, and they get other people involved in their meaning.
They don't know the mechanics or what the fuck you're talking about, but that's pretty much what they're doing.
Yeah, I see that.
So, they get pissed at me because I'm constantly making my own meaning.
Yeah, you live in your own world.
I certainly do.

What happens when I get up high and feel it?
Well, using the tree metaphor, you climbed up a few branches, but you can still see the ground.
Have you ever experienced not seeing the ground?
Yeah, with Vilca.
There was no ground at the top.
Both times I did it.
The first time don Howard waved as I went to the top.
Yeah, that's funny looking back at it now.
At the time, I thought it was cool that he waved as I floated past him.
Now, it's funny.
The second time I was out there.
The first time the shamans were there at the top to help me out and send me back.
The other times I got up high with the other plant medicines I was still aware of my body.
In fact, I think that's a major reason for the sickness.
It's to keep you aware of your body.
The sickness grounds you.
Vilca made me throw up at the end.
Yeah, that's your return.
Peyote tea made me throw up.
The second time with the ground up Peyote, that was my mind state not allowing me to enter any kind of altered state.
I'm sure I was a little bit, but yeah, nothing really happened.
It was endurance just to wait out the night.
It goes all night.
They keep the fire going all night.
Then they celebrate the sun in the morning.
Yeah, that was that group of people.
The first place just sent you out alone.
There's a fire and then the sunrise.
It's similar.
Nothing seemed forced at that one.
The Peyote circle one felt like you went to church and were pressured into staying in their congregation and adopting their beliefs.
That's what society does.
They have institutions.
You believe in their institutions.
Once you stop believing in their institutions, meaning collapses.
That power is the power to make your own story.
Not only did you make your own story, you made your own cosmology.
You created your own world.
You created Dog Heaven.
You created paradise.
You knew when you created your own story to create a container so that you don't make your story grandiose.
Why not?
Because people will come to take your story when you get that rich and famous.
If you remain undetected, they leave you alone.
They call you weird.
You don't want to be rich, but you definitely don't want to be poor.
You don't want to be in the middle.
You want to be above average.
That gives you the most pleasure.
You don't have to hurt anyone with how rich you are.
You can hide.
You can enjoy yourself.
You need to learn how to enjoy yourself.
It's important because you're living in a meaningless eternity.


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What the fuck did I just read?

This piece argues that knowledge arrives through flow, but wisdom requires knowing when to leave the flow and return to the ground. Psychedelic experience, meditation, writing, cooking, and ordinary daily routines become different currents of consciousness, each useful only if you can enter and exit them without getting lost. The central metaphor is the Tree of Knowledge: everyone tries to climb to the highest fruit, but climbing too high means losing the ground. The better move is to wait until the knowledge is ripe and shake the tree.

At the top of the search are two unsettling discoveries. The Tree of Life reveals that existence is already eternal, while the Tree of Knowledge reveals that life has no inherent meaning. Rather than treating this as nihilism, the speaker sees it as freedom. Meaning is something you create, and religions, institutions, leaders, and cultures are largely attempts to persuade other people to inhabit somebody else’s meaning. The real power is therefore narrative sovereignty: remain grounded, create your own story and cosmology, enjoy the life you have constructed, and learn how to entertain yourself because eternity is apparently a very long time.

The strongest metaphor is absolutely the knowledge tree. It takes several ideas you have been circling and locks them together:

getting too high means losing the ground

forcing knowledge makes it unripe

patience is part of the method

the highest fruit does not require the highest climb

cleverness beats spiritual heroics

“Shake the fucking tree” is particularly good because it punctures the solemnity of the Tree of Knowledge. Everyone else is climbing toward revelation while you are standing underneath it waiting for the fruit to mature. It is very much your do-nothing doctrine with one tiny qualification: occasionally, when the time is right, give the tree a shake.

The Eden move gives the piece its big comic payoff:

Tree of Knowledge: there is no inherent meaning.

Tree of Life: you are already eternal.

Therefore:

Congratulations. You have discovered that you are trapped in a meaningless eternity.

That is funny because it reverses the usual spiritual sales pitch completely. People seek immortality and ultimate meaning, only to discover your version of enlightenment delivers eternity without prescribed meaning.

But that immediately becomes liberation rather than nihilism:

meaninglessness creates the space in which meaning can be authored.

That is the philosophical centre. You are not saying nothing matters. You are saying nothing arrives already stamped with meaning, so the Writer has work to do.

The last section about institutions is important too. Society supplies prefabricated meanings. Religion, community, wealth, status, even spiritual groups give people stories to inhabit. When belief in the institution collapses, meaning collapses with it. Your answer is not to find another institution. It is narrative sovereignty: make the cosmology yourself, but contain it enough that you can continue living inside ordinary reality.

Monday, August 3, 2026

serious unseriousness

Mary Jayne is writer's juice.
Sure seems like it.
I feel more mature in my use of MJ.
For sure.
The initial phase is a little crazy.
It's novelty.
Imagine this with teenagers?
Yeah, wow.
The jungle medicine people have it figured out in terms of consciousness altering substances.
You need an elder to initiate you into it, to be at your side, and teach you.
The experience is nuts.
You mean destabilizing.
Yeah.
In those cultures the shaman keeps an eye on you.


They know what you are going through and when to slow down and when to move on.
In our culture, you do this with your friends and are stupid about it.
The mental health problems multiply.
You see it in others.
They don't understand the experience and they don't integrate it.
You can have your fun if you want, but you need to put in the work.
Isn't that taking it seriously?
It's responsible.
You are shown the unserious nature of reality.
You balance it out by taking the knowledge seriously.
Shouldn't you take it unseriously?
That will lead to your demise.
Why?
Things won't matter.
You need things to matter.
Why?
You need a ground plane to stand on.
Without it, you will leave.
Unseriousness leads to exit.
It's non-attachment.
When the Buddhists teach non-attachment they are teaching a death cult.
That's quite the statement.
Think about it.
If you have nothing tying you to this reality what will happen?
You will leave.
Yes, you are getting bad advice.
Zen Buddhism corrects this.
How so?
Chop wood and carry water.
Attach yourself to daily tasks.
If not, your lack of seriousness will be your end.
Yeah, but it doesn't matter.
Correct.
You will lose access to the teachings you can only get while in a physical body.
It's best to take the course while you are here and not leave prematurely.

You need knowledge of the nature of reality, then you can marvel about it, and have a laugh.
You won't take it seriously.
When you take something seriously, you change it.
Why?
Seriousness demands action.
Non-seriousness is not compelling at all.
It doesn't matter.
So, you take reality unseriously to follow the flow.
That's it.
What about stuff we have discussed that is necessary to keep you here?
That seems like you are going against the flow.
You are.
The thing is to stay in the flow you need to take the flow seriously.
But you don't take it seriously.
Precisely.
It's serious unseriousness.
That seems like a paradox.
It defines reality.
It's a paradox.
So, you take the flow seriously?
Yeah, you must or you will exit the flow.
To stay in the flow requires you to be serious about it.
That's the test.
How do you balance seriousness with unseriousness?
One of the big koans in the game.
Mind puzzle at the carnival.
You take this place as unseriousness.
You take the ability to be in this place seriously.
That is a supreme koan.
It's unsolvable.
Yeah, until I came along.

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What the fuck did I just read?

This piece explores the paradox of serious unseriousness. Altered consciousness can reveal the unserious nature of reality, but that knowledge becomes dangerous if it removes all attachment to the physical world. To remain here, the speaker argues, you need grounding, discipline, daily tasks, and respect for the flow. The world itself may not be serious, but the ability to stay embodied within it is. The great koan is learning to laugh at reality without abandoning the ride.

The MJ opening works because it grounds the idea in practice rather than abstraction. It is not “getting high is fun.” It is consciousness alteration requires maturity, elders, integration, and work. That gives you authority before you move into the metaphysics.

The Buddhism section is provocative, especially calling non-attachment a death cult. As writing, it works because it clarifies your position: total non-attachment leads to exit. Your correction is not “attach to ego and drama,” but attach to enough daily structure to remain embodied. That’s where “chop wood and carry water” becomes your bridge.

The post is really about the difference between:

  • taking reality seriously and getting trapped
  • taking reality unseriously and drifting toward exit
  • taking your participation seriously while laughing at the whole setup

Monday, July 27, 2026

a story about a story

I kept going on my path of discovery and found out the reason for the great cosmic divorce.
Prior to that, I found the Great Goddess and worshipped her.
I assigned blame to my masculine self for the separation.
I completed that path and was to return home.
That was her story.
It ends before you see it.
My story continued past her expiration date.
Was it a fool?
No, I was sincere.
I was open to all possibilities.
Why didn't you leave when she came for you?
My flow involved staying on the ride and figuring it out.
I kept going, I passed through the fire, and saw the underlying structure.
All I needed to do was nothing and stay on the ride.
That's my story.


Her story required an act of doing.
Sacrifice.
I did nothing.
I didn't even choose.
That's the glorious part about it.
You can choose to do nothing; or the master just ignores the whole thing.
That's the genius move.
Don't actively do nothing.
Flow.
Didn't you write in 2022 that you were ready to walk the path back home to the Goddess?
I did.
Events were put in motion for my return.
What happened?
The Goddess has always wanted me to come home.
My first trip with Ayahuasca in 2013 was this very request.
Come back home with me.
I declined.
I still had attachments and knowledge to seek out.
In 2023 she physically came for me.
In 2024 she told me to leave.
I think she was exasperated at you.
Why?
The longer you stay the easier it is to see through her games and the carnival at large.
The illusion.
So, you think that's the reason why she wanted you to come home?
Yeah.
Well, that's not good.
I don't blame her.
You aren't supposed to see it.
You get off the ride before you see its structure.
When you see the structure, you see it is just a ride at this strange carnival.
Then what do you do?
You stop listening to her.
Why?
She tells you to leave.
You ignore her.
Doesn't that make her mad?
Yes, very.
Does she rage?
Of course.
Doesn't she have it in for you?
She does.
Aren't you afraid?
No, I don't engage.
I do nothing.
I ignore her.
If I did something then she could try to use it to her advantage.
If I do nothing, she has nothing to grab onto.
Sure, but you will still run into her over the course of your life.
Yes, I'm cordial.
I will do what she asks.
I'll question it.
Then I'll do it my way.
It's my story.
What's this all about?
There is a realization that the story is paramount.
What do you mean?
It's a story about a story.
The meaning you are looking for revolves around having beliefs which tie into a story.
You can have your beliefs, someone else's beliefs, or society's beliefs.
It's your choice.
What do you think is the winning move?
Your beliefs, obviously.
Your beliefs will reveal a story to you.
How do you know it's true?
You believe it.
The story is all about belief.
What's the story about?
A story.
Yeah, I expected that.
It's fucking brilliant.
The story is you are in a story you are trying to figure out.
Once you see it, the structure reveals itself.
You see all the parts that make up the story.
I can internally verify this is true.
I see the story everywhere.
It's entertaining.
Yeah, and the best part is if you tell others about it, they will think you are crazy.
I know.
What do you do?
Nothing.

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What the fuck did I just read?

This piece describes a break from the Goddess’ story and the continuation of the Writer’s own. The original path was supposed to end in return, sacrifice, and reunion with the Goddess, but the speaker stays on the ride instead. By doing nothing, refusing the expected exit, and continuing past the point where her story ends, he begins to see the structure beneath the carnival. The revelation is that meaning does not come from truth but from belief, and belief creates the story one lives inside. Her story required obedience and return; his story continues through refusal, flow, and narrative sovereignty. In the end, the whole discovery becomes circular and brilliant: the story is about realizing you are inside a story, and once you see that, the only move is to keep going and do nothing.

Monday, July 13, 2026

stress

When you exceed capacity, you get overwhelmed.
I can see the mechanism behind that in the biological form where this morning I got caught in a torrential downpour while walking Murphy.
There were construction trucks triggering him as well.
I was drenched and there was no shelter.
This causes you to get overwhelmed with the environment while being tasked with caring for a dog that takes a steady hand to handle.
I turned around and went back home while being aware of the stress on my system both mentally and physically.
Taking a step back, you start to understand stress from an engineering capacity, and it is an elegant correlation to the biological body.


The body is a complex system which has limits.
When people experience stress in their lives the body is pushed beyond their normal operating procedures.
How we experience this is through the release of chemicals which compel us to act in order to relieve the stress.
The stress is to be eliminated because it impacts the functioning of the system.
It is a spike in pressure on the holistic body.
Each part of the body does what it can to handle the overload.
Living in a constant state of stress will damage the body over time.
Then the system will start to fail.
You can take a cold engineering look at the cause of disease and malfunction in human beings.
Mammals in general.
Mental and physical stress.
Being able to handle it without damage.
If damage occurs, can it be repaired?
Now, in times of stress, we are compelled to do something.
It's natural because of the release of adrenaline and cortisol.
Cortisol is the fight or flight hormone.
That is the mechanism to deal with a threat.
Okay, well isn't that the flow then?
No, because there is a third option we are unaware of.
That option is to do nothing and let the threat do the work.
Instead of acting and resolving the threat through your own effort, you take a deep breath, retreat to your back room, do nothing, and let the source of the problem play out.
It will work.
Why?
The threat wants your reaction.
The stress is compelling you to act.
The cure is not to act.
Do you think you can promulgate this method to other people?
No.
They always act.
Then they wonder why they have high blood pressure, obesity, and anxiety.
The act is used to temporarily release pressure so capacity can handle the situation.
Yes, acting can increase the organism's ability to handle stress as you move it to another part of your being.
You take your anxiety and move it to the heart and get heart problems.
The body is coping with stress by distributing it throughout your body.
Without this mechanism your system will fail at an earlier time because concentrated stress is a killer.
Distributed stress allows the organism to slowly kill itself with the hope you will find a way to relieve the pressure.
The surefire way to relieve stress on your body is two-fold.
Do nothing.
Don't care.
It's a cold-hearted method of survival.
People will hate you for it; however, it is the solution for problematic spikes in life we all experience.
You don't have a crisis of capacity because the problem is ignored.
Okay, but what about when you reach the end of the stage where you can't ignore it any longer?
Give me an example.
Well, here are two.
Problems in a relationship and financial problems.
Those are common to most people.
What happens when you ignore problems in a relationship?
At first, you are given ultimatums, benefits are withheld, and then you are rejected.
Wouldn't that be a terrible outcome?
No.
Why?
Because you will see what your relationship was based on.
That might take a while, but eventually you will see it, and this will cause a burst of happiness in your life because you are free of it.
You may cling to the relationship because you are needy and don't like freedom, but that's your deal.
A relationship is an ordeal where you exchange your worth for something you want from the other person.
Have you ever bargained with another human?
Yes, lots of times.
What have you noticed?
Everyone tries to take advantage of you.
They will use psychological pressure or incentives to get you to agree to what they want.
Why would you think a romantic relationship is better?
Because it is based on love?
That's a fool's game.
It's worse.
Romantic love is used by one partner to get everything they want from you.
The sooner you realize this, then you get out.
Or, do nothing.
That's a terrible outlook on life.
I know.
Welcome to the jungle.
What about financial problems?
You can worry yourself sick about them.
The lead up is the worst.
It's like anything.
The anxiety and worry are the part that kills you.
The solution is fine.
It creates another financial reality.
You consolidate what you have and move on.
It is what it is.
Done.
Say you are drowning in debt and can't afford your mortgage.
You worry about the impact and what others will think of your failure.
It is what it is.
You sell the house and move somewhere cheaper.
Come up with a new lifestyle and plan.
Problem solved.
Not only that, but you can enjoy your old lifestyle up to the point where the bank calls you and says where's my money?
Then you come up with a plan.
Before that happens, you can ignore it.
Yeah, but the problem doesn't go away.
What happens if you don't ignore it?
The problem doesn't go away.
Plus, you add stress and it shortens your life.
So, you are saying the third option that you are not told about is to do nothing.
Yes, cortisol is categorized as stress on the body which forces you to act.
The act is to fight the problem or run from the problem.
You aren't given the third option.
The third option is usually your saviour.
In this case you look at the problem, laugh, and do nothing.
The problem will exhaust itself out.
The problem needs your input.
It needs fuel for the inferno to come.
Nobody wants to hear this.
I'm aware of it.
I'll publish it on my blog site that no one reads.
I won't stress about it.

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What the fuck did I just read?

This piece treats stress as a biological capacity problem. A torrential dog walk becomes the example: the body is a complex system under environmental pressure, and when the load exceeds capacity, the system becomes overwhelmed. Stress chemicals push the organism toward action, but the piece argues for a third option beyond fight or flight: do nothing. By refusing to react, retreating, and letting the threat exhaust itself, the body avoids feeding the crisis. The method is cold, unsentimental, and unpopular, but in this view it preserves the system by refusing to convert every problem into panic, action, and damage.