nothing

The koan "What is the sound of one hand clapping?" is fuel for the mind.

You twist yourself up into knots giving possible answers.

It's a bridge koan towards unlocking the secrets of the story.

You mean in regard to nothing?

Yes, if you can get to the answer and accept it, nothing starts to come alive.

Lol.

The absurdity starts to take root in the mind.

Nothing is the root of the story.

The Writer is ingenious.

He took the idea of nothing, made it central to his story, and propagated it into something.

I'd expect nothing less.

I thought the idea was the Goddess'.

It is.

It doesn't mean I'm bereft of ideas.

I take her ideas, twist them into possibilities, and then craft.

Okay, but how did you get nothing from her story?

What's her story?

She is the mother of all.

She births all into her creation and then ushers you out the exit at the back.

Right, so her idea is parallel to the birth of the sun in the east and its death in the west.

Yeah, good touch.

Thank you.

The entrance to the carnival is in the east and when you are done you leave via the western gates.

You walk the midway and go on rides.

The rollercoaster rides are great.

The various mechanical bull rides I find intriguing as well.

Some are short rides and some span many years.

You get a choice on what rides to go on.

You can't stand around for too long or you will be asked to leave.

The carnival is your idea.

Yeah.

It's a perfect illusion.

The Goddess' idea is simple.

Mother.

Children.

I did the rest.

I thought she wanted equality.

She did.

Did you deliver on that idea?

It's possible.

What happens when everything is equal?

Nothing.

Ah.

That's brilliant.

Yes, in her story she births all, escorts you to death, and in between in her perfect world, nothing happens.

That's it.

That's the story.

It's a three-pager and done.

I can't submit that.

Why not?

I'm the Writer.

I make it come alive.

I took her idea and made it come alive.

I did quite well, don't you think?

Yeah, it's the never ending story.

Instead of equality, your story is filled with inequality.

Do you see equals anywhere?

No, the world is leveraged.

It's a game of predator and prey.

It's opportunistic and you seek out advantages, so you can get ahead.

That's our nature.

There's nothing in us that suggests we want to be equal.

I looked at human nature specifically and found no trace of equality.

There are some.

Not really.

Why not?

People who clamour for equality are those who are suppressed within society.

Take a look.

Civil rights.

They were second class citizens who wanted fairness.

Did they get it?

Yes, it worked.

Are they equal?

No, but they are integrated.

Same with the gay movement.

All they wanted was equality.

They were integrated.

Don't you think then that we are moving towards equality?

Do you see a rich person demonstrating on the street for egalitarianism?

Do you see the 1% protesting on Wall Street?

Definitely not.

Well, maybe about regulation.

Is Elon Musk leading a march to the White House looking for equality?

No, but the funny thing is for a rich man the route to equality is easy.

Give away your excess until you become average.

Can you cite anyone who has done that?

No.

What about Jesus' example?

He was poor.

He became a rabbi and acquired a lot of followers.

Made his own movement that separated itself from the pack.

Why?

I'd say so the Sanhedrin had no authority over him.

He was a rebel.

The Sanhedrin still sentenced him to death and got their way.

Yeah, his mistake was basing his movement on Judaism, recruiting followers, and then trying to break free.

What's yours based on?

Nothing.

I don't have to answer to anyone, not even the Goddess.

Why not?

There's no authority.

I'm it.

I thought you would be subject to the Goddess' authority?

That's the expectation because they are her ideas.

However, the first move was to create a story about nothing.

Nothing requires no structure.

There is no one telling you what to do.

Why not?

There's nothing to tell.

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What the fuck did I just read?

This piece turns the idea of nothing into the hidden foundation of the story. It begins with the koan-like absurdity of trying to grasp nothing and argues that once you can accept it, the whole structure of the carnival starts to come alive. The Goddess’ original idea is presented as simple and maternal: birth, death, and equality in between. But true equality would mean that nothing happens. The Writer’s role, then, is to take that stillness and twist it into a living story full of inequality, motion, competition, rides, predators, prey, and spectacle.

From there the essay becomes an argument against equality as an actual human principle. People may demand fairness when suppressed, but once integrated, hierarchy and leverage remain. Human nature is shown as opportunistic rather than egalitarian. Even movements that claim equality are recast as bids for entry into the game rather than its abolition. Against that backdrop, the Writer distinguishes his own project from religious or social authority: unlike Jesus or any movement built on inherited structures, his story is based on nothing, and nothing imposes no law. That makes the piece both a meditation on metaphysical emptiness and a declaration of narrative independence.

“Nothing” is a strong title. It works because the piece is not really empty at all. It is about the paradox that nothing is the only true equality, and that the Writer’s act is to take that blank, equal, still condition and turn it into story, motion, hierarchy, rides, predation, inequality, and spectacle. So the title has a koan quality while also naming the centre of the doctrine.

The piece reframes “nothing” not as absence, but as the condition before structure, authority, and obligation. Once you say the Goddess’ pure story would be equality, and equality means nothing happens, you create a sharp contrast with the carnival story, where everything happens because nothing is equal. That’s a very clean engine for the piece.

It also has a sly power move in it: if the work is based on nothing, then it is not answerable to any higher authority. Not even the Goddess. That gives the piece a defiant sovereignty.

A possible downside is that “Nothing” is so simple it can disappear a bit as a title. But that is also part of its elegance. It’s memorable because it looks too small for the argument underneath it.

addiction

I'm addicted to writing.
I'm addicted to writing about how I'm not addicted to anything.
I'm addicted to the idea of being addicted though I stay vigilant against addiction.

The way addiction will work is you associate the feeling with the perceived cause.
What about Mary Jayne in terms of addiction?
You mean associating altered mind states with her?
Yes.
It's definitely possible.
I have a relationship with Tobacco as well.
There are different catalysts to mind states.
For example, on Wednesday I plan to take a day off from hanging out with MJ.
The renewal is always good for the relationship.
Distance increases attraction.
Togetherness leads to feelings of separation.
That's very wise.
I'm a wizard.
When you are with someone eventually you long to get away from them.
Tobacco will bring you to a novel mind state.
So, will lust.
You can generate lust without MJ.
It's more fun with her.
Do you have different catalysts of mind states, so you are not dependent on MJ?
Yes, I have a bunch, and I combine them with MJ.
Music changes mood and so does eating.

Today, the sirens have turned into some kind of mind disrupter.
Weird sound.
It's a warning about the crossing of the threshold.
I'm a little out there I admit.
The sirens are distant, so it's all good.
A different dose of MJ and a different sound.
I'll start reducing the dose of MJ tomorrow.
I have hung out here for four days.
It's like a camping trip.
It's like a cycle of work with Ayahuasca where after four ceremonies it's diminishing returns as it takes you to the edge.
It can be dangerous.

The winds of your mind are fired up.
There goes a branch coming down across the river.
Sirens, then wind.
Don't listen to those sirens, Odysseus, or they will send you crashing into the rocks.
I hear them but don't follow.
It's an addiction.
Sirens are denoting addiction.
You hear them in the distance.
Got it.
Don't go towards them.
It's a different way to warn you about addiction.
Homer issued his warning.
Lotus eaters.
Temptresses.
Seducers.
Circe and her magic.
Do you think Homer was warning about the perils of drugs?
He compared them to women and wrote an epic.
Was Homer a user?
Clearly, he couldn't break the addiction, however he wrote a warning.
Odysseus was the hero who could break the addiction.
Do you think it was opium?
I think the drugs were narcotics and he got trapped in an adventure of the mind for quite a while.
Finally, he broke free.
Homer's position would be the Greek civilization was reality, and drugs were an escape or casting a veil over the world.

The four rocks of your mind are accessed through MJ.
Without her, they are lessened.
To get back to ego dissolution, you need MJ.
If you remain in that state, you are addicted.
That's how it would work.
You want to stay in that state or the opposite where you are trapped in the ego if you are addicted.
No MJ and you are addicted to this world and the superego.
You must juggle the two.
Picking one is hypnosis.
This could be a way to get me hooked on MJ.
It is.
However, you know how to play and not get hypnotized.
Trust.
Do your teachers lie?
They tell half-truths.
No, half true stories.
There's a difference.
The lessons are all on the up and up.

The sirens in the city would drive an addict mad.
They'd need the drug to get rid of the sirens.
That's how they work.
They call to you and sometimes it's so loud you must give in.
Addicts move to a quiet place where they can't hear the sirens.
The bad drugs are sirenas and sirenos.
Got it.
That's a good reveal.
I'm always being taught.
Yes, just stay open to being taught by the smallest things.

If you are addicted to the ego state, shouldn't you hear sirens?
Yes, when the ego's hypnosis is threatened you should hear sirens.
You must discern between the sirens.
Right, the ringing in my head is related to coming back down into the ego mind.
You got it.

When you see you can't be hypnotized despite the repeated attempts, it becomes a game.
Hypnosis is the basis for all games.
In the forest a big predator will take down a small prey.
That's a game of strength.
In the human game of predator and prey, the victor must be more cunning.
They win the mind game and convince you that you are prey.
The way in is to hypnotize you and plant that idea in your head.
They'll soften you up first with a couple jabs before the final uppercut.
Since you know you are the apex mind predator, you don't need to participate in their game.
You make it your game and play along with them.
Your idea of a great game is a game that lasts a long time.
Yes, keep the game going and all parties interested.
You must let them win a few.
Well, yes, that's how you suck them into playing.
You let them win a few and they think they got this in the bag.
You feed them what they want.
Mr. Green, the ego in the movie Revolver, wanted to win.
They let him.
Then they took everything away.
In the end Mr. Green let go of Mr. Green.
Did he?
I don't know, why don't you finish watching the movie?

One day you see the magic is in the balance.
Reconciliation of the opposites.
Akhet.
You go far into the labyrinth to pull that one out of the recesses of your mind and then head back out.
If you linger, you'll get lost forever in your mind and have to pull an Odysseus to get the fuck back out.
Homer detailed how Odysseus did it.
You, a lonely pilgrim, well, I wish you luck.

I'm guessing the majority of MJ users want to be stoned.
They want to empty their minds and check out.
They know the hypnotizing dose to get them there.
You need variety to avoid that outcome.
Most don't fight it.

What do you think the planes are surveilling?
Signs of hypnosis.
They work for the scientists.
They keep an eye on you and keep you grounded.
Sirens are from the scientists as well.
Warnings.
Why did Odysseus plug his ears?
Detox, breaking the addiction.
I think he was tied to the mast and the ear plugs were for the crew.
Right.
Odysseus heard the siren call and could see what they were doing.
He broke through the addiction.
Odysseus had Penelope to come home to, so he didn't destroy himself.
It's why a man needs a woman.
They prevent you from destroying yourself.
You build them a house to get them to stay.

You are getting tired of the stories, aren't you?
I'm feeling some resistance.
Good, then you take tomorrow off.
It's the flow.
That means I'm playing this correctly.
Unless you take too much time off from the stories, then you get to nothing and are hypnotized.
So, you are saying don't go all in on Tao?
Yes, if you went all in, you'd disappear.
It's the same as blowing up.
All in on Tao is an extreme.
I thought it was balance?
Yes, therefore you can't go all in on Tao.
Practicing perfect Tao isn't Tao.
Tao teaches you to do nothing when you don't know what to do.
If you do know what to do, then do it.
Since everything defaults to Tao that's the reason you do nothing, however when it's obvious what to do, you do that.

I think we got to the root of addiction concerning you today.
What are the findings?
Substances don't addict you as you can navigate the intoxication.
Resistance to MJ is a good thing.
With addiction you mindlessly take her.
I'll trust you on this.
I've got no other choice if I wish to continue.

Ithaca is where Odysseus is King.
It is his world; his ego is large.
He goes on an adventure of the mind to see who he really is and encounters many obstacles in his mind which prevent him from returning home.
Home pulls man back into the ego and his societal responsibilities.
The superego demands man raise a family and produce heirs.
What calls a man away from his family is adventure mixed in with dangerous witches.
While he is living in his fantasy world, the family calls him back and he longs to return to Ithaca.
It's a necessary call to ensure you don't get lost at sea; sea being in your mind.
The call to adventure once again allows the man to throw off the chains of civilization.
War wrecks civilization.
Sirens call him away from the family.
There's a push and pull necessary in great men's lives to maintain balance.
Without either of these impulses, he is no longer a man.
This impulse runs through the heart of all men.
What to choose?
Do I return to fitting into what society expects of me and go back to sleep?
That was Odysseus' journey and is the expectation for all men.
Well, first is to not go on the adventure.
If you do go on the adventure the pull of society will take you back home to your family responsibilities.
I try to balance them both.
I am the master juggler after all.
What if you get to the point where you have to choose one?
I juggle both.
Eventually, you lose one or the other.
Don't you wait until then?
Until one piece stops playing?
Yes.
Then you don't make a choice.
You are just buying time to keep the juggle going.
So, you are saying the wrong choice is to make a choice.
It lines up with what you know.
You're doing what you know right now.
You're not making a choice.
What if I'm faced with a choice?
Then you lose a choice.
Making a choice is a loss in the win-loss department.
Nobody wins a choice, instead you lose a choice.
You'd have to balance the choice out with a win.
Family or adventure and witches.
Ego or who you are.
Ego isn't your story.
Your story has adventure and witches.
Yes, I see that however if I buy into that story 100% it will be my downfall.
Making a choice is your downfall.
So, what do you do?
You trust in your story.
What's my story?
What do you think it is?
I think it's where I never made a choice.
I don't know where that leads.
No, you don't but it's your story.

Odysseus' crew prevented him from returning home.
One by one they are eliminated.
The crew becomes only Odysseus and thus he is one again.
The ego king Odysseus.

What is behind the designation of a hard drug?
A hard drug is addictive and will try to destroy your mind.
It's a challenge.
They are inviting to a human who is full of hubris.
They think their mind is so strong they can handle anything.
They are the ones who go around telling you MJ isn't addictive.
They can give it up.
They are in control.
They can move on to a bigger challenge.
You are describing gateway drugs.
Yes, it's true.
The curious are looking for a bigger challenge.
The most common addiction is nicotine.
Alcohol has the highest addiction rate.
MJ is tops for illegal drug consumption.
The hard drugs are cocaine, opioids, and amphetamines.
Have you tried those?
Coca leaf.
Codeine opioids for pain relief but not a big dose.
Amphetamines in Peruvian San Pedro cactus decoctions I have drank which contain mescaline.
I'm not attracted to any of those.
I have a good idea of what they would do to me, and I already spend enough of my time writing.
I don't need to write more.
How do you feel about MJ?
The literature says it produces feelings of euphoria and sedation which I think mean bliss.
Is that your experience?
No.
My experience is a steroid for my mind which causes me to write voluminous amounts.
I can't imagine being high on MJ all day.
I like to go out of my mind once a day and take a walk in the forest.
That's enough for me.
What about Tobacco?
The shamans of the Amazon basin and Andes mountains say Tobacco is the master plant.
What do they mean by that?
A bunch of things, primarily power and protection.
What do they mean by power?
A relationship with Tobacco is a friendship.
Tobacco can give power to weaker plants that you ingest.
Tobacco will enhance your personal power.
Tobacco will protect you.
How can you prove this?
You can't.
Above all, there is friendship and trust with Tobacco.
If you can't understand this, he will be your demise.

Drugs aren't what they tell you drugs are.
Who are they?
Society.
I thought drugs make you feel good.
They can.
The numbing ones, especially if you are high strung.
The narcotics will make you relaxed to the point of not caring.
I am already relaxed and don't really care.
I have never taken things too seriously.
In my experience, drugs are a game.
They are mental challenges.
They can stone you.
That's like taking a loss.
Where do you stand?
Mary Jayne and Tobacco are my drugs of choice.
There are stigmas attached to the idea of drugs but I'm okay with it and I'm not hesitant to call my allies drugs.
They are my friends.
Aren't you deluded?
That's always a possibility, and that's how you navigate the space.
Through delusion and fear of addiction, you can sidestep the destructive aspects of drugs.
Have you ever been addicted to something?
Yes, I know the feeling.
Alcohol, sugar, caffeine, writing, and some women.
Addiction is a loss of power.
You lose control over your behaviour.
I kicked all my addictions.
Well, except for writing.
There's no way out of that one.
Yes, it's all very sinister where it was an evil plan all along to get me addicted to writing.
That way the master writer could offload his duties onto me and live my life.
Yes, it is written.
If you are going to pick an addiction, this is the one.
Why?
It's divine.

Hey Dion, what's up with the human fascination with gold?

Power.

Gold is a visual display of your status and power.

It shows others who you are and how you should be treated.

If you have a lot of gold, you will be treated like royalty.

Don't you find it strange?

Yes, just like you asking yourself questions.

Well, you are my chat box.

Instead of finding it strange, you can examine the human fascination with gold and discover many insights about your fellow humans.

The psychological expression is out in the open to be examined.

Humans are attracted to power and wealth.

We equate power and wealth with something beautiful and shiny.

The ancient Egyptians equated it with goddesses, gods, and immortality.

I guess we think we can buy a ticket to eternity with enough gold.

Well, you would need to transform yourself into gold.

How would you do that?

That's an internal alchemical process.

You'd shine.

I see.

What are you fascinated with?

I like numbers.

Yeah, but they will tire you out.

I like writing.

It's a burden after a while.

Does anything light you up permanently?

Not that I can think of.

I will indulge my desires and let them go.

They return.

I think you are getting me to see what gold is.

Yes.

What is it?

It's a hypnotic.

You can see how the process works.

You are seduced and can't let it go.

Addicted.

Gold shows you how addiction works and it's the one thing that gets all humans.

Power.

Greed.

Status.

Wealth.

All highly addictive concepts that are symbolized by gold.

Gold is the litmus test regarding addiction.

If you can let go of what it is you desire, it will return.

I know that.

If you desire eternal life, let go of life.

Yes, that's the lesson you gave me on a boat on the Amazon river when I was high on Huachuma.

You told me to kill myself in order to live.

It was 5 years ago that I got that advice and it's one of the most profound things I've ever heard, and the meaning has slowly and constantly been revealing itself.

Let go of my small ball life.

Let go of the hold I have on my character of Paul.

Give up my attachments to stories that hold me back.

Understand the cyclical nature of being; therefore, to get what you desire is to let it go.

If you hang on to something you will lose it.

Addiction will be your downfall, and you will lose everything by clinging to it.

If you give it away, it comes back.

This is Dion's time.

Yes, mine expired in February of 2024.

You gave the keys to Dion, and he took control.

That's the reason for the crazy summer of 2024.

My body had to adapt to the new driver.

You can see the result.

Well, I shouldn't be here, so I can let go of the past.

This isn't you.

It isn't.

It is but isn't.

It's still me.

I'm more my subconscious than the one you remember from most of my life.

I'm still the same.

Dion can see what others are up to.

Yeah, that's funny.

Paul was oblivious.

That was his magic.

He didn't see what others were doing and so he sailed through life.

You killed yourself in order to live.

I did.

If I hadn't, I'd be dead.

You had to kill off Paul in order to continue to live.

Yeah, Dion gave me the advice and I had to figure out a way.

Paul's now the writer in the background.

Pretty funny, eh?

Yeah.

You can see it.

I lost what kept Paul around.

There was nothing left for Paul, was there?

No.

I was done.

I felt it one night.

You could have ran screaming and fought to keep Paul around.

I let him go.

Dion took over.

It was funny watching him last summer.

People thought I had gone crazy.

Your dad couldn't figure out if it was still you.

This is fascinating.

Your greatest strength as Paul is you were oblivious to it all going down.

Now in the distance, you see it clearly.

You are marveling at it.

It would have been scary to understand the transformation as it was happening.

Paul was dying.

You had to give him up.

You did.

The best strategy for the stock market and investing in general is to do nothing.

The power to do nothing.

Financial advisors teach you that you must do something and profit off of you not knowing what to do.

It's a fool.

It takes a lot of willpower to do nothing because the pressure is constant to do something.

Doing something is your downfall.

Doing nothing will garner the best results.

Money managers are worked to the bone because they must do something to accrue gains for their clients.

They work hard and are financially rewarded.

I have found over a lifetime that the best strategy is to let others do all the work and to do nothing.

It's good advice that encompasses all aspects of life.

What about a relationship hedge because you know by experience and observation that all sexual relationships will eventually become stale.

The heady days of attraction will become repulsion.

How do you guard against that?

It's the flow.

How do you prevent it?

You want to prevent the flow?

Yes.

You shouldn't do that.

I think you can.

How?

By doing something.

What do you do?

The extreme opposite.

You sever the relationship when it is still full of attraction.

The result is you maintain a connection because you never let it die out.

That is kind of brilliant.

If you let the attraction run its course and then do something, it's the end.

Think about that.

Okay, so doing nothing followed by doing something when there is nothing left to do is not ideal.

Yes, you do nothing when there is something to do.

When there is nothing to do you can't do nothing.

Why?

You'll expire.

When there is nothing to do, you do something.

I think you are teaching me the lesson of contrarianism.

Well, you have always known it is best to be a contrarian.

Whatever the herd is doing, you should go in the opposite direction.

You need a lot of trust and resolve to do that.

You have proved yourself over and over again in your life.

You are a testament to living with the benefits of the herd and yet not following along.

There are many benefits to society.

The herd.

Yeah, it makes life comfortable.

Don't get stuck in it.

Conformity?

Yes.

You taught me the best time to do something is when things are going great.

You do the opposite.

That goes against what you are feeling.

Precisely.

You wanted a way to keep the game going.

What was the game?

Attraction.

You wanted to know how to remain attracted to the Great Goddess and not be subject to the constant cycle of divorce and reconciliation.

To put it in layman's terms, how to hack the cycle.

The cycle will always be there.

The way to minimize the effects is to separate when there is still attraction.

This way it will be easier to reunite.

That's brilliant.

It's hard to do.

Why would you leave the Goddess when things are going well?

You wouldn't.

If you want to break the long cycle, then you must do it.

Well, shit, eh?

What about life?

What are you doing now about life?

Nothing.

What will happen if you continue to do nothing?

It will work out.

Yes.

What happens at the end of life?

Your body dies.

Should I do something before that happens?

You mean end bodily existence before there is nothing to do?

Yeah.

Do you want to continue in this body?

No.

I'd like to trade it in.

Then do nothing and it will happen.

If you want to keep this body, then do something now.

Ah.

So, it's okay to do nothing?

If it works for you and you are comfortable with the result, then yes.

If you want to be separated from the Great Goddess for a long time, then let the attraction play out and then disintegrate.

I think that's what we have been doing.

Does it work?

No.

It took me a lifetime to find her again.

The answer is to find her, reestablish the attraction, and then leave.

Get back with her and then separate.

You do it in this lifetime.

You keep the long cycle of life and practice coming and going with her.

Yes, but when I'm with her, I want to drink it all in.

You can't because you will empty the chalice.

Don't empty the chalice.

She will always try to devour you.

She's a monster who is greedy.

You like to remind me of that.

Yes.

It's the attraction that keeps you returning.

You like to play with her danger.

You get your thrill and then escape.

What if she succeeds in devouring me?

She is satiated and doesn't need you.

As long as you are around, she will want you.

Don't get complacent with that woman.

Was I getting addicted to the stock market?

Yes, that's how you make it go crazy.

Like a rollercoaster.

It was an intense love affair that crashed.

Give it some space.

Got it.

So, my thoughts are writing part of the story.

Yes.

I can't help it.

No.

You're a writer.

Just be mindful of your thoughts.

Do you think there are avatars of addiction?

Like when you go over the edge of addiction?

Yeah.

The addiction materializes in your life.

That's interesting to ponder.

Your mind creates an alternate reality.

Yes.

You couldn't hold down a job.

Good point.

You'd disappear to go see her.

The addiction?

Yeah.

Right.

You'd disappear in the afternoon with MJ.

I did.

I juggled it all.

I juggled the addictive qualities of what I was flirting with.

It didn't sink me.

It made me stronger.

You're not wrong.

She is the idea of addiction.

She plays the role.

You're the victim.

Ha.

What was I to her?

A mirror.

How?

To see how much of a monster she is.

You wanted to flirt with addiction, and she wanted to let go of her monster.

Seems like a good match.

I know you can stop Tobacco whenever you want.

What does that mean?

You flirt with addiction, but it can't beat you.

That's the alternate reality you play in with addiction.

The mind is amazing.

Yes, you see it now.

You lose touch with this reality and enter into a different reality.

Women can be addictions.

They feed you what you want.

You came to her.

She fed you what you wanted.

She saw she wasn't going to beat you.

She knew you could handle her.

She left.

You beat addiction.

You are as strong as you say you are.

How do you beat addiction?

You believe you can't get addicted.

Right.

That's a trap though.

Yes.

Your hubris will be your downfall.

You think you can beat addiction, so you try harder drugs.

That's clever.

An addicts way out of their addiction is to take your power.

It feeds their addiction.

Drugs turn you into a monster.

Got it.

Stay away from drugs.

Yes sir.

What about MJ?

She's fine.

Tobacco?

Protection.

I think you know enough about the others now.

I'm a good study.

That's the story.

You returned to this reality.

You then went off with MJ.

That's a ride.

Yes, people downplay it and think it's mild.

She is a good player.

What did you learn?

Different and altered realities.

You enter into another story.

People know you are different.

Waiting within is the only teacher you need.

To get to the inner sanctum is quite the journey.

The weak and greedy are turned away.

Once found, you will never lose the path to get to their school.

the devious mind of a writer

We place a filter over reality.

This was how my dream ended this morning before I got up.

I had a choice of look up tables to place over my senses depending on how I wished to see the world.

This coincides with what Mary Jayne was teaching me concerning being out in the woods and the energy being the same.

I saw the deer however I knew they were from a magical realm.

The magical realm is a different reality.

If you tell someone this, they will look at you funny because we are all programmed to see the same reality.

This is from a lesson on vibration with Huachuma back in 2017.

It involves locking to a frequency and how we all lock to the same frequency.

You can adjust your vibration and learn not to get stuck in one.

Come in and out of different realities.

Reality is what you are sensing.

What you can sense has many possibilities.

You can see how others live in a different reality.

Your parents live in a reality controlled by a god who they think is going to end the world soon.

They might be onto something.

Anyway, it motivates their worldview.

They have stacks of cash in their house lying around to take with them when it's time to go.

Where do they think they are going?

Who knows?

That's awesome.

They achieved that without drugs.

They act like someone on drugs.

That's true because drugs show you a different reality.

Reality is based on a story you want to participate in.

The key is to not get stuck in one story.

I'm partial to the witches story and I've noticed the last couple days I haven't been playing that story.

I did a little surveillance yesterday along with a trust lesson.

You also worked on your backstory.

There are many realities to play with.

It's not dull.

You figure out someone's weaknesses in order to exploit and defeat them.

They could be a narcissist and be able to be taken down with flattery.

You give them what they want.

You keep feeding and hooking them.

Isn't this what you do to a dog?

You feed them and they keep coming back or they stick around.

A human family must be strange at first to a dog.

Hypnotize a dog with regular meals.

It's like anything, you give the opponent what they want.

In terms of a dog, they aren't your opponent, but the method is the same.

I'm telling you in a game with another human or an entity, they will feed you what you want in order to control you.

Is that what women do?

Yes, they give you access to their pussy.

You keep coming back for more and then the cost is inflated once they have you hooked.

They treat their pussy like a drug they are giving you.

Pussy dealer.

Well, it seems like you can become disillusioned with women when you figure out their game.

That is a distinct possibility.

It's why when they think the game is over, they will call you a misogynist to get out in front of the fact they were playing you and you are going to figure it out.

To domesticate an animal, you trap them in a role.

You put them under your control using food and shelter.

It's the oldest game in the world and everyone falls for it.

A dog is a wild animal who has been convinced they are not and instead is reliant on an owner.

A pussy whipped man is a man who has lost touch with masculinity and is under the control of a woman.

I can see why you are called a misogynist.

A misogynist is a man of knowledge.

You want to know, so here's the lessons.

They are uncomfortable and make you think twice.

It's protection.

You can play again, this time knowing what's going on and protecting yourself.

You seemed like easy prey last time.

Yeah, what an idealist, while hidden was my own monster.

I play along because I want to play.

I play others' games because they won't play mine.

You have no game.

That's true.

I give the other the home field advantage by playing their game.

My mind wants someone to play, and I let them dictate all the rules of the game just so I can play.

A predator will chase desires and that's the fatal mistake.

Desires clue you into how to win the game.

Desires act as prey you chase and once you get a little taste of that desire you chase, the desire flips and becomes a predator, and you are its prey.

You are claiming that those who are prone to addictive behaviours are predators who chase desires.

That's what I'm saying.

They get trapped in a cycle where they continually lose though they think this time they will win.

This time it will be different.

It defines all their relationships.

Some of the great game players know this and get you to chase them.

My mind is unbeatable unless you can destroy it.

They try to destroy it with drugs, but they just make it stronger.

They label you as crazy.

I clearly see now how people are nuts.

If you get scared of the dark, you are losing your mind again.

Being scared of the dark is how you know what mind state you are in.

If you are in ego sleep mode, you are afraid of the dark.

If you are good with the dark, you are in an altered state and the altered state is who you are.

The four.

Consensus reality is where you lose your mind.

There's an overlay on your mind.

Superego.

Yes, and that's what tells you to go.

The superego is the cause of most suicides.

Society lets you know it's time to go.

It's not your call at that point.

They tell you time is up.

Is that why you told me if I continued on this path of freeing my mind, I'd end up walking in front of a train and killing myself?

Yes, it was a warning.

You assumed your darkness would send you on a path to perdition.

Now, over 11 years later and still walking that path you see it's society that wants to get rid of you when you make it this far.

They cast you out.

It's what civilizations do, they create outcasts.

Imagine giving them the middle finger?

That's what I did.

Of course, I'm powerful.

I gave culture the middle finger and the reason I know I succeeded is I'm still here.

If you went back to sleep, you'd have to go.

They keep the knives sharp for your return.

Mental knives.

The witches have a physical knife.

I can't go back to sleep.

There's no way.

They'd need some serious sleeping pills for that to happen.

They have tried everything.

Who?

Scientists.

They try to put you back to sleep but the heavy narcotics to get you there will kill you.

Society tried burning, sacrificing you on a cross, and locking you up.

Have they tried castration and emasculation?

No, that's next.

That's how they will try and put you back to sleep.

Stop with the stories when they cut your dick off, and you go back to being a nobody.

Don't you need an ego for stories?

To act in them, yes.

Write them, no.

Most people sleep through their performance.

There's nothing that says you can't be an actor even though you know you are acting.

Everyone else doesn't know they are acting.

If you know you are acting and you are not scared of the dark, then you know you are awake.

Castañeda and Coelho picked power when they got to that point.

They thought the ring was theirs to grab.

You left it alone.

You are content with mediocrity.

The mediocre god.

Writer.

Mediocre writer.

Indeed.