mindfucking

See how you're on the throes of being kind of tipsy when you're about to be hypnotized?

You get unsteady.

I thought being hypnotized was balancing the two into one?

Yes, to hypnotize someone you take them to the extreme and then snap them back to balance.

It's called mindfucking.

I'm nice, now I'm not.

So, to hypnotize somebody you swing quickly between two sides.

Yeah, just like the hypnotist and their pendulum.

They swing you between the two sides and then they make you pick a side.

Some people can hypnotize you with their voice.

I think I do that sometimes.

Especially if I talk slowly.

A little bit of resistance is good.

It makes you work, and it is a challenge for knowledge.

If it flows without resistance, it will hypnotize you.

I shouldn't do anything.

Then you'll get hypnotized by Tao.

Remember to see Tao, you can't be in Tao.

You can't physically see it.

Don't choose one side.

Choose both sides.

Flow into Tao and then flow out.

It's the flow.

The flow takes you to Tao and it takes you away.

So, the flow is naturally unbalanced?

You could say that.

It always flows back to balance.

Do you see how it works?

Yeah.

You go with the flow because the flow will maintain the correct amount of balance.

If the flow went completely into the flow, there would be an unbalanced balance.

You'd be hypnotized.

Balance isn't balance.

That's absurd.

Balance is equal part unbalance.

You're a smart student.

I remembered Jesus.

I did my part.

That dude comes on strong and tries to get you as a follower.

He's like a salesman.

He gives you the hard sell and he makes sure he hits every potential customer.

That's why you must do his bidding and spread the word about him if you want to be saved.

So, the money in the church is actually his?

When he comes back it is all his.

He comes back and rules the world because he's got so much fucking money.

He's running a pyramid scheme.

The people below him are also making money off him.

Jesus played the good guy and that was his game to rule the world.

When he comes back in his story, he's going to rule the world.

He won't come back in his story until he can rule the world.

Do you think he can do it now?

No, he doesn't have enough followers.

In the Middle Ages the church tried to force you to follow him.

Inquisitions and crusades.

That was the real Christ consciousness possessing his followers.

They were doing it for him because he was the leader of the pyramid scheme.

What's the difference between Jesus and God?

They vie for control over the pyramid.

God still gets a shout out, but Jesus tries to take over.

The first born always tries to claim the throne.

That's why God was intent on killing all the first born.

They want the power of their father.

The pyramid scheme of ruling the world is his birthright.

This is a dark view of history.

You are going to say that you think Jesus is the Devil.

I mean, he kind of is, but he's just another character in the play.

It depends on what face you're looking at.

Jesus is two-faced like everyone else.

The writer wanted to write a character that was more deceptive than the Devil.

He came up with Jesus and put a hidden twist and mystery into his story.

The writer gives it away in the New Testament when Jesus goes to see the Devil in the wilderness.

The Devil changes Jesus' story.

This is exactly how you have written the story and then you put a clue in the New Testament.

Didn't he get tempted for forty days and forty nights?

Yeah, it took forty.

Am I going to get tempted for forty days and forty nights?

Are you Jewish?

No.

Then you probably got some other thing going on.

I'm circumcised.

Yeah, it's confusing.

Why are you circumcised?

It was the thing to do.

That's weird.

Especially end times churches that make their adult males do that.

It seems irrational.

You do it and find out the leader of the church is a degenerate making lots of money off it.

What a kick in the nuts.

Talk about having skin in the game.

That's it.

You put skin in the game from your dick.

The serious players are circumcised.

Obviously.

If this is a dream, it's well done.

Do you think it's a dream?

You can scare yourself or get back to being the writer.

If you ever scare yourself just switch over to Dionysos.

He's the one writing this.

It feels like the jungle here in the forest.

You let that thought into your mind.

Maybe I ran into the jungle and got lost way back in 2013?

You would have gotten lost.

Then I ran home.

Notice how you want to blame your troubles on somebody else?

You can't face up to your own mind.

Instead of believing it's them, most people want to blame something else.

The perfect character for that is the Devil.

The perfect character for blaming the alteration of your mind on is the one who gave you the potion.

All sorcerers bank on your mind doing the work for them.

They find something that will get into your head.

They give it to you, and they rely on you to be your own worst enemy.

Or friend.

It's me, the writer.

Instead, the impetus is to assign that power to someone else when it is you all alone and along.

You can blame it feeling like the Amazon jungle on a sorcerer who gave you a potion, but it's you.

It's your mind and you did it to yourself.

That's fascinating.

Yes, and everyone has free will to choose what they want to believe.

When you don't believe that it's you who controls your story, you will search for someone who can control your story.

You eventually run into the Devil.

And he changes your story.

So, what do you believe?

Trust in the writer and Dionysos.

This is dark and scary.

Yeah, but you can handle it.

You can handle all the lessons from here on in.

They do get darker.

What's darker - suicide or selling your soul to the Devil?

Seems like you have the answer.

I did nothing.

I moved through the lessons.

If you act out the lesson you fail the test.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

It would just mean defeat.

I got the Devil test a long time ago.

Yeah, but you didn't understand it.

So, getting past that point means that I can now understand the Devil test?

Yeah.

What's it about again?

Kind of a mystery, but not really.

You don't ask perceived higher powers for favours.

I don't know, I think I already have.

When I was younger, I did for sure, it was probably something stupid.

Yeah, you didn't know any better.

I hated when my bird died.

That was an ask that wasn't for gain.

It was nice.

You've said prayers for people.

Yeah, but I didn't believe them.

Right, so it wouldn't work.

What about your prayers now?

Are you asking a higher power?

No, I think I'm asking myself for a boon and we're equals.

Prayers are nice things to do.

Prayers aren't demands, they're just nice.

It balances out because you were probably a shit at one point.

It's good credit.

There's nothing wrong with prayers.

Okay, if you ask for money or something like that, then that's not a good use of prayer.

What if you do an exchange like you do at the plant medicine retreats?

That's reciprocity.

As you have written, there's an obligation to fulfill your end of the bargain.

How many spiritual pilgrims do that?

Not many.

Then those fuckers keep coming back.

I never asked for anything.

You think that was a trick question or something?

Why do you need something?

What do you go down into the Amazon and drink that potion for?

I was searching for the Goddess.

How retarded are you?

Everyone else goes to get something.

You wanted to meet the Great Goddess.

You're so special.

You also use prayer because you're a bit of an asshole.

It helps balance that condition out.

This path of the heart sure does go on and on.

You get the light teachings too.

You're one of a kind.

Why do you do it?

I wanted to be special and stand out from the crowd.

I don't know why.

It's how you get to God and then you keep going to the writer.

You're a one of a kind dog owner.

Yup, dogs want me to own them.

I want them to be friends, not own them.

I'll care for them.

So, what's more powerful?
Your own mind or other people's minds?
My own mind by a lot.
The mind creates duality.
The mind separates allowing the body into duality.
When the body perishes, it returns to non-duality.
The mind will always be in duality.
Can it exist in non-duality?
There's no thinking in non-duality.
It feels like all or nothing.
It's an extreme.
But non-duality is Tao.
Yes, but it's all or nothing.
You see one.
Balance.
Duality you see both sides.
Non-duality you don't see sides.
Hypnosis takes away your ability to see sides.
It's bliss.
There's only one choice, so you go with the flow.
The answer is to see both choices and do not make a choice.
Or choose both.
Never choose one.
Choosing one will get you hypnotized.
Sometimes I get confused.
Why?
Because Tao is a teacher, yet it will hypnotize you.
If I balance duality then I get back to nothing.
Do I want to get back to nothing?
You mean non-duality?
Yes.
There are no more stories.
It's Happily-Ever-After time.
There's suffering in duality.
There's triumph, feelings, and rewards.
Don't forget lust.
In and out, man.
Maybe you should choose both?
How about you rest in peace for a bit and then go on another adventure?
Seems like that's what we do.
Sure does, right?
So, I guess when you go back to the carnival, you'd probably want to meet up with your friends again.
I think that's what you would want to do once you saw through the game.
How do you do that?
Have you not been paying attention?
I was trying to play the fool.
I remember my lessons.

3rd dimension is the middle.

You see the two as one.

If you see life after death because the mind stays active and you see the body perish, what is the result of seeing two?

Two shows you duality.

What if I see those two choices as one?

You are confused.

You don't understand.

You are hypnotized.

Brainwashed.

You think there might be spiritual continuance, yet you know the body dies.

If you see the choices for what they are without the other one clouding your perception, then it becomes clear.

Mind continues on and the body dies.

Simple.

What about those who say the mind needs the body?

To play out this story that is true.

Is this the only story?

No.

What generates stories?

The mind.

Is there a body in all the stories?

There is a vehicle, not necessarily a human body.

So, you're saying the mind needs a container in order to live out fantasies?

That's what I'm saying.

Without the playground, it's all in your mind.

If you are stuck in one story, one playground, then you might think when it ends you are finished.

The mind is quite incredible.

Yes, I am a good time.

I'm the writer.

I have a bunch of projects on the go.

Is duality defined by mind and body?

It can be.

You need both to have an experience.

Without a mind, you are a programmed robot or a zombie.

Without a body, you are a ghost.

You need both.

It's obvious the body doesn't last.

What about the mind?

Some people lose their mind.

As the vehicle gets older the efficiency of the mind becomes impaired.

What about stress on the mind through anxiety or the effects of cultural brainwashing?

Your mind is the most valuable thing.

It's gold in a sea of shit.

Your fellow humans will come to take what is most valuable from you.

That's your mind.

They have many ways to do it, and they have a good success rate.

It's multi-faceted.

Culture is the top layer.

There are individualized local games of possession going on.

I think you see them.

Yeah.

You can't escape, so you keep a healthy separation.

Who is crazy now?

Certainly not you, sir.

Keep a healthy balance.

The mind is the subconscious writer, and the mind is you who have come forth.

The mind is dual in a world of duality.

If you look for a monolith in duality then into the labyrinth you go.

Good luck!

el brujo

It seemed predestined that I'd eventually make it to a place on the northern coast of Peru called, "El Brujo." It is an ancient site on the Pacific Ocean where the Moche culture of pre-Columbian South America held power. At this site human sacrifices were performed in conjunction with the awesome display of power emanating from the winds blowing off the ocean. The formation of the powerful and cyclical El Niño is off the coast of this magical place. The Dragon once again would be summoned to destroy the chains enacted by incarnation and humanity.

Last decade at the Amazon jungle retreat SpiritQuest, I'd sit and listen to the Otorongo Blanco and Grand Huachumero Maestro Choque Chinchay don Howard in his orientation talk of power and what would we do if we acquired power? Surely, we would want to control outcomes and feed our desires. He'd talk about this before the segue into being of service. I was very curious about this aspect of the plant medicine journey, but for the longest time I had no idea what he was talking about. He warned that by entering a relationship with the magical plants, we could acquire power. The power was always ours; we were just embarking upon a path which would unlock it. Within our intentions we offer something to the spirit of the plants and in a reciprocal arrangement they give you a boon. It's not something you pick up on at first. Within ceremony, I encountered situations where what you perceive as malevolent spirits offer power in exchange for you giving them something back in return. I declined all those offers.

I kept at it long enough and went through my own trials and tribulations within the plant medicine experience. I continually stayed on the straight and narrow in pursuit of the Great Goddess and sidestepped the question of power. It served me well as I acquired knowledge of these realms and what these trips into your inner world were revealing. I had been witness to the the magic of the Great Goddess and what she had done for me ostensibly because I honoured and exulted her despite cultural barriers and misogyny that had buried her for two thousand years. Along the same lines of straying from the script, I started knocking on the door of the Dragon and wondering what he was all about. I befriended him mostly by just listening and holding space. Why the anger and the rage? By now, I understood and knew that it was me and in order to become whole I would need to integrate my darkness and light into a unified whole.

I remembered sitting with don Howard while he told tales of Chavín and the journey through time he'd take his consciousness students through. I see it clearly now that he knew. He was a man of knowledge, but he played it with a sly hand. He never came out and said it directly but in retrospect I look at how humble he was and stand in awe. Of course, he would hint at it and tell stories of all the small-time brujos that litter the streets of Iquitos, but he would never play his own cards. He was of service and not in it for self-aggrandizement. I pulled this information off his old website which described the particular trip to El Brujo:

The Mesa of Power will be experienced on the beach near a remarkable archeological excavation-in-progress named for the extraordinarily powerful and raw elemental energy present there. Located here are three ancient Moche ceremonial pyramids, huacas, where once was conducted human sacrifice to abate the cyclic fury of El Niño. Given the location and orientation of the pyramids, it is likely they served as cosmic batteries storing the elemental energy derived from the sea and wind, and perhaps also repositories of human life essence captured during the human sacrifice practiced there for centuries.

He then went on to describe in more mystical detail this awesome place:

Mesada of Power. Moche Culture. The electrifying Mesa of Sorcery.

On the beach near ancient 2,000-year-old Mochica ceremonial pyramids, a Mesa on a grande scale. One a place of sacred human sacrifice, the other a place of sacred human procreation. An awesome metaphysical generator of powerful life-giving energy, the two working together to create a balance of life and death on an unprecedented scale. All to propitiate the awesome power of the El Niño climatic phenomenon on the northern coast of Perú.

Contemplating the nature of Power - Must it always corrupt? What are the benefits and risks? Can you stand the test? Primary elemental energies are wind and sea.

My pilgrimage to El Brujo commenced at the opportune time. It was the perfect storm where I knew of magic and sorcery after having clued into its underpinnings in my previous trip to Peru in 2020, just before the worldwide pandemic shut down society. My personal story which ignited at El Brujo involves the destruction of my old self, a sacrifice I had contemplated for a while. The whispers of my shadow during a Huachuma ceremony in 2020 let me know it is possible and needed. In a boat I glided across the Amazon River, high on Huachuma, and my shadow whispered to me, "Kill yourself in order to live." Then came Covid and three years to sit with this advice. My shadow had the intention to eventually stick the knife in, at the time he just planted the seed and then made plans to take me to a place where we could ceremonially do the deed. Rebirth awaited with the Mesa at El Brujo offering life-giving energy for not only the self to be reborn but to create anew. Events were accelerated, the magic was palpable as I looked into the eyes of another, and the spark of new life was ignited symbolically and to come in the flesh.

I connected events of the day back to the divine feminine and masculine searching for each other through waves of time and cycles of appearance. We are always present but appear in different life forms. The song of our lives is the unique vibratory signature that binds us together. No matter where we are, we will find each other through song. The vibration of wanting will reverberate throughout the cosmos, striking a chord within which will draw us back together. I knew we were to meet up at the pyramids. Turns out this time it was the ceremonial Mochica pyramids where on a beach the outer shell was cracked, and we looked into each other's hidden self. There was instant recognition and a familiarity of knowing. Obstacles were placed in the way because a challenge is always in the offing. A sacrifice must be made to acknowledge and consummate the recognition of the eternal game we play as lovers. We share a dream that reverberates through eternity, drifting apart, and in our desperation once again calling out to one another.

Can you stand the test? The words of don Howard echo through my being. Progressing through the stages of the realization of the power you unearthed ranges at first from noticing things start happening for you instead of to you. What you need to succeed is put on your plate. The desires that animate you are given a chance of fulfillment. You can eat at that trough if that's what you want. Eventually, it dawns upon you. I know of this power I possess. In my case, I did the work and instead of externalizing the power and being subject to conditions of its use, much like the magic genie in the bottle, I realized it is I who holds the magic. I don't need to enter a Faustian bargain for power, power that was always mine to begin with. The realization coincided with the test. I wrote that it was funny that when humans get in any kind of position of advantage, the first thing they think about is accumulation. I wasn't knocking it because it is an instinct we need to survive. I was no different and witnessed thoughts that drifted into the territory of monetarily taking advantage of what I have unearthed. I was too caught up in the unveiling to notice the test had begun. The expectation is for all of us game players to first entertain thoughts of controlling outcomes and getting all that is wanted. Within a few weeks, events unfolded in my life that required my attention. I sat in meditation concerning them and my intentions and prayers turned towards wanting to help others and be of service. I didn't do it consciously as in needing to pass a test. It was what I wanted. I soon realized this was the test. I passed.

I remembered being taught to have an intention and reciprocity. I wanted something for myself. I wanted to continue down the path of discovering the hidden secrets of consciousness and magic. This feels like the correct way of going about this whole acquisition of power gambit. I acquire power, give it away, ask for more to be revealed, and further use it to be of service. Do I need to live like a King? It's enough to know I am the King, living a life as a commoner, then discovering I can help others, and that is the greatest gift of all.

Oh, El Brujo - Can I stand the test? I like to think I did. Thanks don Howard for guidance and this gift.

pandora's box

Knowledge that leads to understanding enables a process which is like the peeling away of layers to an onion to get to the core. Each successive layer of understanding which is bequeathed to me, grants me the ability to go deeper into the forest of enlightenment. I am grateful for the process, as unravelling the puzzle seems to be my reason for incarnation. It seems that every week I say to myself: Well, for sure I have reached the end and there's not much more to learn. Then I'll have some epiphany, usually while smoking Mapacho tobacco. The analogy of the onion is fitting because the root of existence is a mystery. If I ever do peel away all the layers, I intuit the last layer will reveal the absurdity of my seeking. The joke is I already know the answer to the riddle, as I am the inventor and designer of the puzzle. The gift of eternity leads to a sense of adventure. Laughter, joy, play, friendship, connection, discovery, and love. At the heart of the great cosmic drama are these values. All stage plays, whether they may be poignant dramas or gruesome tragedies, will point towards these aspects of love.

A couple of years ago, the word Pandora kept showing up in my life and it still does. I didn't understand the connection because I hadn't peeled away enough layers of the onion to figure out why. Well, I finally reached that layer last week, helped by a recurring theme of opiate drug abuse and the helplessness and despair caused by the addiction. Derivatives of the poppy are everywhere, and it makes sense when one realizes earth is a place of suffering. Opium takes away the suffering, both physical and mental. It becomes highly addictive because of this ability and the continual use will send you to the depths of hell. A lesson of the poppy is the higher the high, the lower the low. The poppy teaches that in a world of duality, there is no escape from the reconciliation of high and low. It's a zero-sum game. If you see the connection between all life, you further see that when you are in the positive ledger, someone else is in the negative.

I see that Pandora's Box is life on earth. Pandora's Box is Maya; the weaving together of an illusion which creates the stage for biological life to do its dance. The Great Mother Goddess created the playground we desired. She enables the suffering and within this world she places the gift of the destroyer. When we see through the game and tire of the dance, we hail the destroyer and he puts an end to the drama, dancing the Rudra Tandava. Pandora's Box is once again shut up, until the next curious seeker unwittingly opens it.

Subconsciously as a species, we know this. Peering back into the sands of time, we find Mother Goddess worship. She is the creator of life buttressed by her destructive masculine offspring. The practitioners of the mesa in pre-Columbian South America seek to balance the feminine and the masculine - the energy of creator and destroyer. The balance creates healing and harmony. The attentive student sees the dualistic relationship between the two and knows they must work at maintaining the balance, against all odds, in order to curtail the suffering to come. As a species we worshipped the Great Mother and then later we buried Her. We wanted to forget about her and wipe away the memory. Our religious past as taught is patriarchal and there is no room for the Goddess. Why did we do this?

Misogyny is a good answer to begin with and may explain the situation. I don't buy it 100% though because it defies what just is. If we worship a masculine god, he is just half of the equation. Of course, there is a counterpoint that makes the worship whole. Having a divine masculine god and his son being the be all and end all is preposterous when you think about it; notwithstanding the initial preposterousness of a religion that allows you to get to that point to begin with. But this is not intended to be a polemic against religion, so I'll let that be. What I think is that we collectively stamped out goddess worship because we know she initiates our suffering.

I came by this knowledge through plant medicine use - specifically Ayahuasca. I experientially met the Great Goddess through the use of Ayahuasca and I have had multiple visions of what I am describing. My knowledge is from a subconscious origin, is not verifiable, and could be considered a tale of fancy. I'm totally down with that and don't expect anyone to take my word for it. I'm just writing about my experience.

In vision, I've seen the illusory nature of the world. I saw through the transparent curtains of the dream - a spinning realm of fortune and chance, defined by the four suits in a deck of cards. I saw the worship of the Goddess and how man stamped it out. I was harassed to no end in vision by an inherent dark warning to stay away from the Goddess and her charms. I didn't heed the warning and soldiered on. I am a student of history, and so I know about Goddess worship and what it entailed way back when.

The study of the Goddess reveals a connection to the earth and her bounty. You see her in full display in ancient cultures such as Egypt, the Levant, Crete, Phrygia, and Greece. You can trace the stamping out of her influence in mythic stories of the taming of the serpentine monster of the sea or in stories of the crushing of the lunar bull such as in Phrygia where the sky father Sabazios is depicted on horseback placing a hoof on the head of the bull, which represented the crushing of Goddess worship. The Minoan snake goddess of ancient Crete is iconic in the depiction of Goddesses because of the serpents and the poppy. The poppy is the teacher. The roshi. The head of the poppy instructs, and you'll find the word for the head teacher congruent with the idea: "Siri, what does the Hebrew word 'rosh' mean?" Goddess worship involves the ingestion of narcotics and for some this would lead to addiction and a life of hell. Goddess worship would be equated to being ensnared in her world of intoxication, enchantment, and pleasure seeking. Give in to the worship and all will be fine. Try to leave and suffer. You can find polemics against pharmakeia - the plants of the Goddess, within ancient sources. We now call these substances drugs, i.e., the bad drugs. The New Testament warns of her witchcraft. In Galatians chapter 5 of the King James Bible translation, we read:

19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,

20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,

21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

In verse 20, pharmakeia is translated as witchcraft. Other translations will use sorcery for the translation. The term was used a pejorative for the woman healer. In the Book of Revelation, we find the mention of pharmakeia in chapter 9, where many are killed by the wrath of God.

20 And the rest of the men which were not killed by these plagues yet repented not of the works of their hands, that they should not worship devils, and idols of gold, and silver, and brass, and stone, and of wood: which neither can see, nor hear, nor walk:

21 Neither repented they of their murders, nor of their sorceries, nor of their fornication, nor of their thefts.

Those made to suffer did not repent of their sorceries, sorcery referring to the drugs of the Goddess. A last mention of drugs is in Revelation chapter 18 where the sins of the great whore of Babylon are enumerated. The whore is the Goddess, and in this setting, she is a great city of the world, namely Jerusalem, who has been soiled by the company she keeps. Here's the passages:

23 And the light of a candle shall shine no more at all in thee; and the voice of the bridegroom and of the bride shall be heard no more at all in thee: for thy merchants were the great men of the earth; for by thy sorceries were all nations deceived.

24 And in her was found the blood of prophets, and of saints, and of all that were slain upon the earth.

It is by her enchantment and seduction that all the world was deceived. The deception is taking men away from the worship of God back to Goddess. These attitudes permeated all ancient cultures. A student of the Greek play-write Homer will find plentiful comparisons in the story of the hero Odysseus. Odysseus spends seven years with the nymph Calypso in a narcotic haze, seduced by her witchcraft until he finally leaves her for home. The Greek warrior and his men are also ensnared by Circe and her magic potion. Odysseus and his men also become trapped on the island of the Lotus Eaters, another warning against the use of narcotics. Also extracted from this story is Odysseus' run in with the Sirens. Delving deeper into the tale, one realizes the Sirens are the call of the addictive properties of opiates. Odysseus' men are given beeswax by Circe to plug up their ears so they wouldn't heed the call, while Odysseus is bound by rope to the ship's mast and tells the sailors under no circumstance should he be untied. The pull of narcotics is strong and would summon Odysseus to his doom much like the fields of wasted men on the rocks of the shore of the Sirens' call. Odysseus urges his men to free him, but they sail on. The hold of the addiction and cravings is defeated. The lesson being taught is the warrior spirit of a man is crushed by the enchantment of the Goddess. Narcotics will definitely do this to you, but underlying this understanding is that love and compassion for your fellow human as taught will make you think twice about conquest, pillage, and the killing of others. I'll bet you want to re-read the story now that you have been given the understanding!

The Goddess will take away your pain with her poppies but then make you see it's not free. Opiates will take you to hell. There's a terrible lesson of reconciliation in duality within the pain reliever. Hers is the toughest course of them all. The man on his journey of conquest wants to get to the top of the mountain, not find unity at the intersection of the valley plain and the base of the mountain.

There is another way to escape the suffering and ultimately the course of the Goddess will take the studious practitioner to the doorstep of what it is we all eventually seek. The way is through the heart and the path is only discovered through the fires of transformation which involve suffering. Every course on my spiritual path is designed to lead to the heart. In hindsight, the progression is obvious. The path of the heart is laying it all bare. The Goddess is showing me all she has done and how the immense suffering is designed to lead you back to the heart. She is showing me how you can't escape the lessons. You can deny them, but all is reconciled and eventually comes together in the middle. The Tao Te Ching teaches one to go with the flow. Following the flow leads to the centre.

The world is perfect. With all the environmental destruction how can I say that? I didn't say it was ideal! It's progress. We are making our lives easier on earth and accumulating more and more stuff and the corollary to this is the destruction of our habitat. This is how perfect duality works. The lessons stare you in the face and you can't escape it. Eventually, we will destroy ourselves. I look at this with ambivalence. What we have been gifted by Pachamama, we will destroy. What we have been bequeathed, we turned into hell. We will destroy hell and close Pandora's Box. Maybe we should put a sign on it warning against ever opening up this gift of the Goddess? The illusion will lay its trap once again and it will take another monumental nuclear blast to destroy it. On and on it goes. What a vision of existence I hold!

It's what we wanted so we opened the Box. Leave it alone! Our desires and curiosity will once again lead us to her magic and sorcery. She will conjure another world of our dreams into existence so we can play out our eternal recurring fantasies of conquest. We will ask her once again and being love, she will give her children what they want. Within her creation is placed the destroyer so that when we have had enough, we can blow the whole thing up. In our eternal universal travels, we will pass by the big blue marble jail cell and shudder at the memory of what the siren call of desire can do to us. Will we pay heed?

My experience with drugs is not with opiates. I have an addictive streak within, and so I know enough to stay away from the highly addictive substances. I am curious about the juice of the poppy in its unrefined form and if given the chance at the right time, I would smoke opium or drink opium tea, preferably in a group ceremony. I picture a scene from Eleusis in ancient Greece and a crowd of ecstatic adherents welcoming the Goddess Demeter and her daughter Persephone in a shared vision; feeling the connection between the group and the divine feminine. My history with pharmakeia is with the psychedelics. I have enough experience with them to know they are definitely not addictive, but they do offer a doorway into the occult, if that is your intention. Magic, sorcery, mystery, and knowledge are at your fingertips if you do want to see for yourself. From these trips, I came to know the Goddess intimately. No one can take that away from me or convince me it was a flight of fancy. She showed me love and taught me the answer to all I seek is love. It's that simple.

So, what's to make of the lessons of the Goddess and her opiates? To me, it is as it should be. I make the statement from the standpoint of duality. Within my masculine self, I see the light and I see the darkness. I hold them both in equal esteem and I make no exultation of one over the other. On the contrary, my discovery of the divine nature of the darkness strengthened my love of the gifts of the Goddess. I posed a question to the ether a while back in which I acknowledged I have no idea of what a woman grapples with. I saw in myself God and I saw Satan, but I knew a woman does not see the same. Externally, I see love in the woman and exuded by the Goddess. I see maternal instincts and I pedestalize these aspects of the divine feminine. True to the unfolding of understanding in due time, I have been shown the opposite spectrum of the feminine. I see the enchantment and possession and how the pursuit of her charms can lead you to destruction. As with my own darkness, I know that not only is this the way it has to be, but I see how the enchantress who sends you to your doom is just as divine as the maternal feminine who is full of love. The tension between the opposites in this mysterious world we inhabit is what keeps the world spinning.

I am grateful for the remaining layers of the onion, as I head towards the core of the mystery.