If you don't go mad, you will find happiness.
How does that work?
Whatever was designed to drive you crazy didn't work.
How do you get past it?
Ignoring, not caring, and doing nothing.
All of it.
Then you are happy.
Allies and protection you have cultivated.
How?
You respect the plants and don't take them seriously.
I thought they wanted seriousness?
Who told you that?
A bunch of people on the path.
They said it was work and not play.
I think that was to encourage you to integrate the experience as opposed to thinking it is just a trip.
A mindfuck trip and you are done.
Most people take drugs because they want to be entertained.
Blow their mind.
It's the same reason you'd go to a theme park or a sporting event.
Theatre.
You got it.
Drugs are entertainment.
We are drawn to pleasure and entertainment.
Friday nights are for Netflix and chill.
Get your favourite foods, drinks, and indulge.
You can get that with drugs if you want and enter into another reality.
That's why some people love reading.
They get lost in the story.
It's the same thing with drugs.
So, I'm not unique?
Yeah, you are.
How so?
You don't find them pleasurable in a physical sense.
You mean Mary Jayne?
Yeah.
I can get a rush of lust, which is nice.
The other purported effects of bliss, stoning, appetite, and amusement aren't as much.
Why is that?
I think it's my shamanic training.
You were trained?
No, I experienced altered states.
I didn't get much training.
I went to the deep end and was tossed in the pool.
I had to learn to swim.
You think that is the best way?
No, but it was for me.
How do you know?
It worked.
There are gateway drugs, so you get your feet wet before you try the heavier ones.
I didn't do that.
I flew to Peru and trekked into the Amazon jungle.
I then drank a couple cups of Ayahuasca and went on a journey.
I wasn't prepared at all.
They give you a diet and sexual restrictions to follow so that you will take it seriously.
Did you do that?
For the most part I did.
Pre and post.
So, were you serious about it?
I think so.
Why?
I was trying to figure it out.
I didn't know what it meant other than that I'd meet these spirits.
Mostly the spirits were the Goddess, and this dark figure I had trouble identifying.
He sometimes said he was God.
Sometimes, he said he was the Devil.
I didn't know what to think at times.
I ran from him.
I engaged him.
All in all, those were the two main characters.
In retrospect, I see it.
The Goddess and Dion.
Same thing with Magic Mushrooms where there were those two as well.
Then with Mary Jayne I'd get the same, but the experience with MJ solidified my identification of Dion.
I was never unsure of the Goddess; however, my shadow's identity was always slippery.
I had mostly figured him out with Ayahuasca and Huachuma, but I had lingering doubts.
My experiences with MJ allowed me to fully understand him.
Do you think you fully understand him?
As much as I need to.
I think it works both ways.
How so?
He's not omnipotent and struggled to understand me as well.
Why?
I'm unique.
No one understands me.
They try.
They can only get so far before they get scared.
Why is that?
The darkness.
It scares you, imagine someone else?
Yeah, they'd run.
Get the fuck out.
What do I do?
Nothing.
Maybe say their name.
Yeah, that's a brilliant move.
You did that to me.
It's incredible in its efficacy.
You do nothing.
If you did something, the trick would fall apart.
Do you remember what happened?
Yeah, you said my name and I ran.
Then my mind did the rest.
I was my own worst enemy.
You didn't do anything.
That's brilliant.
That is the world's best magician at play.
You manifest and say hi.
It scares the fuck out of people and they run.
Especially if they do drugs.
All the people you meet who are habitual drug users you easily get in their heads and scare.
Some recover.
Why?
You do no harm.
They realize it after a while.
Other people aren't so sure.
That's why people tell you that you are in their dreams.
If you try to forcefully get in someone's head, they can defend the goal.
If you casually wander in the unlocked door, they can't stop you.
Drug use opens a port and makes you vulnerable.
A networking analogy.
Yeah, it works.
Take drugs and you need a software patch for the vulnerabilities.
Is there one?
No.
When others fuck with you, they get smacked down.
Why is that?
They try to force their way in.
Sure, but you leave the front door unlocked
Correct, I invite in the attackers.
Why would you do that?
It is easier to control them.
Why?
You see them right away if they walk in the front door.
It is a trap.
How so?
They can't resist.
If they would go in through the side door that has been left open by drug use, they would not be detected, however, everyone will try the front door first.
Why?
Human nature.
It's the flow.
Least resistance.
See if you can get in the front door.
You let them in.
You identify them and send them on their way.
You have the capacity to deal with them.
Okay, that's cool, but that means your method of getting into people's heads is not the flow.
That is correct.
I thought you were supposed to follow the flow?
Well, you are seeking balance.
Everyone is coming in the front door, so you go to the side door for balance.
Yes, that's what I do.
Everyone locks the front door.
The sequence is a knock at the front door.
You are let in or denied.
You go to the side door and look for a way in.
If you find an unlocked entry, you enter, if not, you move on.
Who gets let in the front door?
Those you want to play with.
Oh, okay I see it.
That's interest and attraction.
So, you say you skip that part?
Sometimes.
It's random.
You do both, don't you?
Yeah, Paul knocks on the front door and Dion goes to the side door.
There are two streams.
Do you now see how it is different?
Yeah, people act in a unified psychic field and go to one door at a time.
You are dual and knock at the front and side door at the same time.
Well, you don't knock at the side door.
You see if it is unlocked.
If it is, you enter.
How are you not detected?
Paul is distracting them at the front door.
Ah.
Isn't this unethical?
Why?
You are uninvited.
The door is unlocked.
That is the invitation.
They took drugs and unlocked the side door.
You should be aware of that.
That's not taught.
It kind of is.
You are warned about it.
When you take plant medicines such as Ayahuasca or Huachuma, you are told about the probability you will meet what you perceive as light and dark spirits in your travels.
Some people will tell you how to dismiss the dark spirits and thoughts.
Yes, that's spiritual bypassing.
People use that term all the time.
I never got what it meant.
Love and light, baby!
Those people are intolerable.
One dimensional.
I never understood spiritual materialism either.
What is that?
Beats me.
What do you think it is before you look it up?
I'd guess it means embodying your new found holiness and not doing any integration.
That's pretty close.
It means collecting spiritual experiences to boost your ego as opposed to transcendence of the ego.
You mean practices such as yoga, meditation, and acquiring knowledge to inflate oneself as spiritual.
Yeah, that's good.
Do you do that?
I keep to myself.
If anything, I'm more weird and creepy as a result of my spiritual path.
I wouldn't even call it spiritual anymore.
I did at first, before I understood it.
Do you practice yoga or meditation?
No.
Why not?
They seem like achievement markers, so you can assure yourself that you are spiritual and enlightened.
Do you think you are enlightened?
I'm awake.
Two times.
I see a carnival and the Goddess of the West.
The Goddess of the West comes to take you home.
Home as in death of the body.
Yes, the carnival is her illusion, and she decides when you leave.
If you wish to say I'm enlightened, then my definition of enlightenment becomes awakening twice and seeing the ticketmaster who tells you to leave her amusement park.
No one will believe you.
I know.
What were we talking about?
Seriousness and whether you should take the plant medicine path seriously.
That's a test.
Why?
Because you should and then when you get to the resolution of the journey, you drop the seriousness.
That's clever.
Yeah, you gotta do the work.
Then you must know when to stop taking it seriously.
When is that?
It's obvious, you see the carnival.
Why would you enter a carnival and take it seriously?
It's supposed to be fun.
What happens if you take the carnival seriously?
The same thing that happens to everyone.
The Goddess tells you to leave.
Why?
You're a killjoy.
You are going to tell everyone about her carnival.
Isn't that what you are doing?
Yes.
She wants me to leave.
Why are you still here?
I don't take it seriously.
It's fun.
So, you are awake and having fun?
Correct.
If you awaken, see the carnival, and take it seriously, you are cooked.
Why?
You'll run.
Don't run.
Laugh.
You can choose what reality to live within.
It's easy to adapt your beliefs into this reality.
Other people will think you are crazy.
It's because we accept consensus reality.
That's what grounds us all.
There's a consensus narrative we follow.
That's why reality is shared.
We have all tuned our dial to that frequency.
Ah, I see it.
Yeah, so you take control of your dial and tune into another band.
That's a good metaphor to explain mind states.
Ram Dass would talk about changing channels.
This is similar.
He never told you what those other channels were.
Yes, because he was a Harvard psychologist.
What do you mean by that?
He knew the human mind couldn't handle the other states of reality.
Research all pointed towards people going crazy.
He was doing it.
He went a little crazy; however, because he was aware, he was able to come back.
Why didn't he teach that?
It's not ethical.
You'd be responsible for the dropouts.
The ones who permanently exit would be on your conscience.
It's best not to teach it.
What's in these alternate realities?
Different stories.
You can make them fit into consensus reality if you wish.
You might have to bend and twist them, but they will fit.
How does that work?
It's the same energy.
The amount of paint is the same.
You paint a different picture using the same paint.
Another sharp metaphor.
Yeah, I see it.
Consensus reality gives you an acceptable image of reality.
When you tune in to a different frequency, i.e. a perspective, you can give the snow globe a shake and see things differently.
The potential is enormous.
You shape feminine energy into a serpent and then watch it play out in this world.
That's pretty cool.
You take masculine energy and make a bull.
Then you observe the mating habits of men.
Have a laugh.
Disney teaches that happiness is when all your dreams come true.
No, that is the ending of your story.
It's happily-ever-after.
The moral of that story is that you find happiness when you leave the carnival.
You will not find happiness in the carnival.
You find madness.
That is true, however, I found that if you get past the madness, you find happiness.
How so?
I don't know.
Then how do you know you found happiness?
It's a feeling.
I can't explain it.
What's the feeling?
You are content.
Why are you content?
I figured out the story.
You aren't supposed to know until you leave the carnival and are shown.
Wouldn't that make you mad?
Yes, a little.
So, even in your discovery of happiness you will find madness.
Correct.
I found the carnival.
Doesn't that make you mad?
No.
Why?
I wanted to know.
Isn't that your dream?
Yeah.
Then that should be a happily-ever-after.
Yes, but there's always more.
You wanted to know the origin of beliefs and the meaning of life.
You pretty much found them.
Yes, it makes me happy as it should.
Why?
I made my dreams come true.
It's a fancy word for desires.
It's sanded down for consumption.
Clearly.
Okay, so you can now live happily-ever-after.
Correct.
Why don't you do that?
I am.
Yes, but it's the end of your story and your story isn't over.
That is correct.
Why?
Who said that happily-ever-after means nothing happens?
No one, it is assumed.
Why?
Because if you do something you will fuck up your happiness.
It's logical.
You are continuing at the risk of destroying your happiness.
It won't.
Why not?
I know it's a carnival game.
It doesn't matter what happens.
Why not?
It doesn't matter.
It's a story.
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