lust for life

My family I was born into was not my choice.

I appeared, though with what I know, it was my choice.

That was Eros making that choice.

Do you think Eros then becomes Dion?

As this incredible mystery reveals itself, I'd speculate the answer is yes.

The impetus for the attraction between two people who are destined to mate is Eros.

That I am aware of.

You have never thought about where does Eros go?

Well, he or she is the baby.

Yes.

The baby is Eros plus one.

You mean the new record of Eros.

Yes.

The life force that comes forth from the master record.

You're getting warm.

The master record is Eros.

Yes, so apply this to your ancient Egyptian knowledge.

Eros is what they considered the soul called the Ba, and the coming forth of a new life form from the Ba is the Ka.

There are an infinite number of Kas from the one Ba.

Are there unique Bas?

That's where lineages are from.

Everything would be traced to a master Ba, however I think where it gets mixed is the combination of the Ba with the feminine principle of the reverse of the Ba which is the Ab.

The Ab is the heart, and the Goddess supplies those.

So, you are saying the Ba is masculine and the Ab is feminine.

That's what I'm telling you.

That would mean my idea of Eros as Cupid is masculine desire.

That's how it would look.

Feminine desire is love.

Yeah, but what kind of love?

Erotic desire.

Is that romantic love?

No, it's wanting.

So, lust then?

Yes.

Is lust, love?

Yes.

Then it's the highest form of love because lust creates life.

I'm not going to argue this point with you.

Okay, but lust is destructive.

No doubt, but it also is the creative force in the universe.

It's balance, which falls in line with your teachings.

Eros is rose.

Yeah.

That's why rose gold always appears in your life.

You can see it now.

Given a simple idea, I can create quite the story from it.

Yeah, where were we?

We were trying to get to the origin of Dion.

You mean who is he?

Yes.

He's Eros, all grown up.

Fuck, you're right.

Eros becomes a writer.

You can now see the connection in regard to lineage.

For a man, his sons have the same Eros to Dion within in combination with a unique heart supplied by the Goddess.

Okay, how about a woman?

The lineage is the heart.

Who is that?

Call her Mary.

There's something about Mary, right?

There sure is.

Dion is dormant within a female and Mary is dormant within a male.

Each carries them with them.

The dormant Mary within a man would awaken the sleeping Mary within their mate.

The power is undeniable when you meet your soulmate.

You are going to meet them, the pull is too strong.

Dion will always recognize the Goddess.

Okay, so this helps explain the ancient Egyptian concept of cyclical kingship called Kamutef where the pharaoh incarnated within his son at death.

Yes, because it's him.

It's Dion.

They just needed to remember that the divine mind within them is in their heir and at death they would enter into the new king.

Doesn't that sound like wishful thinking and hocus pocus?

It sure does.

What do you know about the Egyptians?

They were very skilled in magic.

What do you know about humans?

They are practical.

Do you think people were superstitious and this is all nonsense?

Some of it is.

People can be irrational as well.

I also know there are reasons for rituals which involve more than just pretending the magic spell is going to work.

Don't you think a priest would tell the pharaoh this story in order to keep his standing?

He tells him that when he dies, he will incarnate in his son.

The priest is then exalted in the court because he has that knowledge.

It's possible.

Wouldn't the new king recognize the magic power of the priest?

Yes.

If he was a charlatan, he'd be executed.

Instead, he was given more power.

So, you can see both sides of this knowledge that we have received from the ancient Egyptians.

Our rational and rigorous scientific minds will see deceit in the priest who tells this fantastical tale to the pharaoh.

The human mind who has been exposed to magic in this world will be intrigued by what they discover in the past.

Which side is correct?

You can take the side of the rational and say it's not believable, or you can believe it.

You're old and you have been to a lot of places.

You have travelled around the world and been to ancient ruins, places of power as told by historians and wisdom carriers, and you have sat with witch doctors and drank their potions in the dark night of the Amazon jungle.

What says you?

It's magic.

Can you quantify it?

No.

Then what's your rationale behind saying magic exists?

I've seen it.

I've lived it.

I can tell stories about it, but I can't explain it.

It's best to leave it at that.

If you're interested, I can give you some names and places to help you on your journey.

So, Eros and Dion are really the same.

Yes.

Just like Mary and the Goddess.

If you think of Eros as dual sexed, as in Eros and Mary, it will maintain your idea of 3.

Within Eros is the Goddess and Dion.

You can call them by different names if you wish.

What is important to see is Eros is the one, the androgyne who contains within the potential for all.

This is taught by the ancient Egyptians, if you have the capacity to understand it.

I can point you towards some blog posts I wrote which will try to explain this to you but be aware you need a background in Egyptian thought to try and understand it.

Yes, thanks, I wrote it for you.

Yeah, you did, though I don't think you quite understood at the time what you were writing.

I didn't because I hadn't lived it.

I do now.

I was aware that within Eros are the 3 and they are the monad you look for when you try and figure out the origin of creation.

Lust for life.

There are always reminders about the miracle of life and how to cherish it.

What is it?

The mind in a body.

Energy coalesces into form.

Plato's world of forms?

Plato was talking about another reality where forms are eternal.

Well, that's the mind.

There are no forms.

Plato posited that we are the shadows of perfect form.

He claimed there are perfect models of what we experience such as beauty, justice, and goodness.

It seems like he was on drugs and deluded.

Yes, of course.

He clung to a notion of a reality where everything was perfect and good.

He was describing the Goddess' utopia.

Exactly.

It's Heaven.

To maintain a perfect world of forms would require rules for everything.

There is no freedom in a perfect world.

What if that's what you want?

Then someone needs to explain to you that you will have no freedom in the perfect world you envision and are striving to get to.

In the perfect world that is envisioned, there would be no death.

Hades would be permanently banished.

This sounds like New Jerusalem in the Book of Revelation.

Well, that's the Goddess and her utopia.

Imagine a world without death?

Life would be created because it's good and then in utopia there is no death.

Soon you would be crowded out and the bugs would get so bad you couldn't stand it.

It's perfect though.

Utopia is Hell.

Clearly.

What's Hell?

Hell.

Thanks.

Why is Hell, Hell?

It's imperfect, there is ugliness and injustice.

Everybody's free to do what they want.

This sounds like Earth.

No, on Earth we have rules.

We surveil everyone, we tag all humans, give them all an identity, and require a passport to travel.

Earth is full of rules.

Without these rules, Earth would become the wild west which devolves quickly into Hell because everyone does what they want and if you give humans that ability, it does not end well.

A rules based order is describing Heaven.

Isn't that a form of totalitarianism like Communism?

Yes, you could describe Heaven as Communist.

Why are Bible believing Americans so against Jesus' socialist paradise?

Mind control.

They have the freedom to believe what they want through the ideals America was founded upon, however these ideals are at odds with what they believe.

I see that.

So, you'd compare Hell to unfettered Capitalism.

There are many parallels.

Regulation interferes with the freedom to exploit others and make large sums of money.

On Earth we try to maintain a balance between letting companies prosper and applying the brakes to their rapacious behaviour.

Drug companies will make you chronically ill if that means they can hook you on a cure for your condition.

They will suck out as much money from your animated corpse until you are no longer useful to them.

You'd think at least they could pay for your funeral, but they leave that to your estate.

You have a dim view of humanity.

I'm a realist.

I call it as I see it.

Do you think you can find good in the world?

Yes, there is lots of it.

Those in power are psychopaths.

There's a psychopath within all of us.

How is psychopathology activated?

When they start to acquire power, they become psychotic.

It's easy to see.

Is there a solution or hope?

Checks and balances.

Rules, laws, and deterrents.

What about rules for thee, but not for me?

That's how a psychopath operates.

The examples in the world are plentiful, I feel no need to point them out.

faithfully

Based upon my own journey, I'd hazard to guess we all are here for different reasons. We all have our unique Karma. That's why it's hard to pin down religious beliefs or a spiritual dogma. Eventually, someone will experience something so profound and different from the rest of the group, which will be at odds with the teachings. I like to think we share this incarnation via accessing a plane of consciousness, ala a shared frequency, and conspire to live out our desires with ample conscious playmates. Ultimately, what I have conjured is different than what you have brought into being, though the world may share aspects, and so we live in a common dream.

The information I have mined from plant medicine experiences has been truthful. There has been no deceit. I didn't understand a great deal of it, that's for sure. I was scared of some of the knowledge and feared the cast of characters I met. I was subsequently challenged, and the fear threatened to lay waste to me. I passed the tests and made it through to the other side.

My eyes are wide open. I saw that this incarnation is the embodiment of what we call hell. I was harassed by the Devil himself, and then having survived the experience we became friends. If I were part of some religious group, how could I tell them about my experiences and not have them wonder if I was nuts or worse throw me out for entertaining the occult and a relationship with Satan? He's two-faced. Satan is the dark side of whom we call God. I know why he does what he does and it's all part of the divine unfolding. I laugh at the bullshit in the world. I marvel at how dumb and hypnotized people can be. It's alright. It's what makes the world go round and that cyclical turning will eventually shake your tree, wake you up, and propel you on a journey to seek answers. The answers you get will be different than mine. That is assured.

So, the above primer and admission of my dark dalliances, which probably either repelled you because you now think this guy is a disciple of the Devil or made you wonder if I was certifiably insane, was an introduction in order to tell you about my journey to the path of the heart where I found my way back home and discovered the reason why I have done this whole trip.

When I look back on the events of my life it's undeniably a progression that finally led to finding my soulmate and my mate is the Great Goddess.

This story is uniquely my own and if you are still reading, you will undoubtedly laugh at the connections I will reveal but be assured it makes perfect sense to me.

When I hit puberty, I had an open heart, and I idealized the opposite sex. I daydreamed of falling in love and leaving little notes to my beloved at breakfast expressing the love I had for her. My favourite rock group was a band called "Journey" and I spent many hours listening to their albums. My favourite song of theirs is called "Faithfully." It's a rock ballad and in my youth these songs spoke to my open heart. Faithfully embodies the separation from your loved one and the resulting longing. There is a line in the song that exclaims, "I get the joy of re-discovering you." I've previously written about the idea of novelty, and how we humans are always seeking out the thrill of a new experience or discovery.  If somehow you could bake amnesia into the game, then eternity would be given quite the boost! The song goes on to ask his loved one, "Oh girl, please stand by me. I'm forever yours. Faithfully." The singer tells his soulmate to wait for him and makes a promise to return a new man. Faithfully recently popped up on my music playlist and really struck a chord with me.

Another song of theirs called "Separate Ways," tells the story of the separation between lovers. The time apart will renew the love between the pair though at the time the divide was so great they had to part. The song ends with the cry, "I still love you girl. I really love you girl."

All this sounds trivial and part of the irrational brain of a pubescent boy, flooded with hormones and new feelings he can't process. My teenage years are still with me, and I know subsequent relationships with women closed my heart and I lost the ability to love. Caring for a pet kept a tiny crack open and eventually a search for meaning led me to this man called don Howard, who I met in the Amazon jungle. He was a sly man and had this program that was designed to open your heart though he never told me that, but after he did it I clearly saw what he was doing. There was a ceremony we did with a plant called Bobinzana where he'd tell us this is good for your heart. He did so many subtle things that would lead to a moment where finally a dose of this plant medicine called Huachuma blasted open my heart.

When middle-age struck, I started searching for meaning and answers. The process led me to Egypt, and I started to intuit the presence of the divine, specifically the Goddess. This feeling just grew stronger until I was quite sure that not only did she exist, but that I could also contact her. This led me to find a way to be in her presence. The searching led me to shamanism and plant medicines. Upon drinking Ayahuasca for the first time, I was immediately placed in a hidden realm where I was with her. She placed me in a position of exultation, and I felt special and so deeply loved. It was the greatest experience. She told me to drop everything and come away with her. I didn't understand what was happening and I told her no I still have things left on earth to accomplish and a family to take care of. She accepted my answer, and we spent the rest of the night together, with her teaching me about the nature of reality and to honour the feminine divine in my life.

Further to this meeting, I had visions of this cosmic love affair. I visited her castle made of gold, where she was held prisoner. She told me to go after her captor husband to release her. In the castle, we made love and became one again. As I set out after her jailer, I found out it was I who was that prison guard and that she was my heart. I kept her imprisoned. That was a tough lesson. I later had a vision where she put on an erotic dance for me in the Temple of the Great Goddess Hathor at Dendera in ancient Egypt. When she approached and laid on top of me it was the most insanely erotic feeling of pleasure I have ever felt. I remember it well. The shaman's song ended, and the scene disappeared. I thought to myself I'm not in Peru for sexual thrills and did not want the vision to continue. I still wasn't ready.

My plant medicine journeys led me towards transformation into a jaguar and climbing the mountain of knowledge and discovery. I physically made a trip to the Andes mountains and climbed to the top. While drinking Huachuma, I was witness to my own wedding ceremony with the Goddess with this blindman called PJ playing a sacred drum. I had no idea someone could make drumming sound the way he did. It was surreal and a perfect day with my eternal love.

It has only been in subsequent years where I gained an understanding that I was able to see she is my soulmate and after a long separation we were ready to reconcile; however, my current attachments and lack of knowledge of my own divine self meant I was not ready. My continued journey with plant medicines revealed my nature and opened my heart to the point where I could finally say, "I'm ready." The transformation of self and the opening of my heart is my gift to the Great Goddess. I have transformed back into the idealistic lover of my youth; I understand who I am and why I have done this whole trip, and I'm ready to come home to my eternal bride.

My understanding of this path I have chosen and weaved into this strange world is a recent revelation. As with all my understanding, I soon got confirmation that what I intuit is correct. Two days later, I was in the kitchen cooking dinner and the TV was on in the background. Normally, I play my own music and can't hear the TV but this night I wasn't playing any music. The show on the TV ended and as the credits rolled the song "Faithfully" played. I thought to myself, "There it is. This is all true and my understanding is correct."

I am ready to return to Her. I'll live out the rest of my life, tend to my attachments, and take care of my dependents. I'll be of service. It's all good. Nothing really matters. Then I will come home.

I'm forever yours. Faithfully.

soul mate

I have a story to tell, yet it has only just begun. The idea of a soul mate has always felt like wishful thinking; the pinnacle of love where lovers find each other despite the challenges of space, time, and multiple reincarnations.

I’m a slow learner. When I get introduced to new concepts, experiences, and games it takes me a while to get up to speed and I lag behind those who can hit the ground running. I have learned this is to my advantage as I have attention to detail and don’t skip over the finer points just so I can get going. Eventually, I master whatever it is I have chosen to embrace. I mention this because I had never taken any kind of major league consciousness altering substance until my mid 40’s and when I did it was overwhelming and too much to take in all at once. The valve on the knowledge hose was wide open and I was drowning in its effluence.

The first time I drank Ayahuasca I encountered the Great Goddess which was my intention all along. She taught me many things, some of which I have fully explored and understood. She was the gateway into the hero’s journey I was about to embark upon in earnest. The clues revealed by myths, fairy tales, and themes of video game fantasies of slaying the dragon and rescuing the princess were all part of the curriculum. I didn’t see it at first; in fact, it wasn’t until I successfully navigated the labyrinth and slayed the minotaur of self that I realized I was involved in my own personal exquisite drama and that she had given me the keys to embark upon the journey. Indeed, I did confront a dragon within no time on this strange left-hand path. Slaying him became out of the question; however, I did find a master teacher and this impenetrable monster taught me courage, bravery, strength, and perseverance. The dragon runs a warrior training school and I’m forever grateful to have had the chance to take the course.

Some people drink Ayahuasca for healing. They have childhood trauma, mental illnesses and blocks, or even physical ailments and the energetic connection with the medicine and a shaman has the potential to remove blocks and allow the patient to free themselves of lifelong mental scars in addition to releasing trauma by practising forgiveness of self and others. Not only that, but the energy is palpable and a practitioner can physically move energy within another form, thus bringing healing to the patient.

Now, I say this because I didn’t drink Ayahuasca for any of these reasons. I was drawn to her because I wanted to know. I had discovered the Goddess in Egypt and I followed the trail into the Amazon jungle to come into contact with her. I wasn’t let down. Immediately, she was there waiting for me. It’s been eight years since that first experience. I was a man of logic and reason who was open to new experiences however I did not let go of my worldview. Magic was a good story but reality seemed to differ. I can’t say that anymore.

Magic speaks to me in intuition, coincidences, synchronicities, and omens. It always has but living life with blinders on has prevented me from coming to this realization earlier in life. The plant medicine path I have chosen is occluded by words. I refer to it constantly as plant medicine and therefore enforce the primary function of these plants. It’s a good thing because it keeps the prying eyes away from something hidden in plain view. They are a way into the occult and that’s not allowed in our society. It’s the left-hand path into the dark night; the darkness being full of demons and of course the dark lord is present in order to keep up appearances. Magic is the bridge between the seen and the unseen. Plant medicines in all honesty are plant magic.

So, I guess I should tell my latest story which is far from being complete. The first time I drank plant magic the Goddess presented to me my soul mate and I saw she was waiting for me. As with all of these experiences, over time you learn of their intended meaning, thus the importance of integration. Your initial take-aways from the experience are filled with as much projection as truth. I interpreted this vision at the time as being my soul mate is waiting for me in the astral plane as I fulfill my desire in this incarnation to delve more into the mystery and fulfill what it is I seek in terms of discovering knowledge which I can turn into understanding of my strange predicament. There was this deep love I shared with my other half and I understood she completed me in that we are whole as in the union of feminine and masculine. We separate in order to enter into the world of form and duality; each experiencing their own adventure.

While at that first plant magic retreat someone had mentioned to me the book “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho and how it tied in with looking for your treasure. I read it, well, devoured it, loved it, and then read his book “By The River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept” which mixed Catholicism and Goddess worship. I adored that book, so much so I wanted to go to Europe and visit the grand cathedrals and walk the Cathar trails. It struck at a chord of Romanticism within. I moved on to his book “The Pilgrimage” but within a couple chapters I put it down because I knew too much and I had knowledge he was writing about a relationship with a dark occult force and I wasn’t ready for the shadow at that point in my life. I became wary of his writings because I knew they were all tainted with this dark knowledge that because of culture I wanted no part of.

When I first went to SpiritQuest, which was my second trip into the recesses of the jungle, the idea of a soul mate was still front and centre. As a group, we actually talked about it, with some saying it was just fanciful speculation, but I knew from a vision it was actually true. Well, my truth. When I returned the next year, the idea of a soul mate was pretty far from my mind but this coincidence happened to which I knew nothing about. When we were to commune with the sacred plant medicine Vilca at the conclusion of the retreat I was assigned a spare room because my normal room was a relatively long walk from the ceremonial maloca. When I entered the room to set it up I noticed a book on the night stand and it was Coelho’s “Brida.” It was very strange because of my past history with his writings. I knew it meant something, quite the omen, but I didn’t know what.

It’s been five years since that event and I remember it well but have left it to unfold on its own. This past year I have integrated all my plant magic experiences and have reconciled my relationship with my shadow. I have many names for him and he has many faces but suffice to say I now know why Coelho inserted him into his books and uses different names and faces for him. I finally finished reading “The Pilgrimage” and enjoyed it because I was able to totally dissect the protagonist's guide on the journey. Concurrent events led to meeting online someone who was a SpiritQuest alumni and they lived in town so we started chatting and made plans to meet up post-pandemic. Coincidentally, we originally connected on a day that was very significant in that it was the anniversary of the day I got my first dog Brindle and I used that day as my password for the longest time. In addition, when I first drank Ayahuasca, Brindle was a big part of it as she appeared to me in vision and I was able to hold her once again. She had passed away a year and a half previously but I still carried a huge love for her in my heart that I will never let go. Within a few months of getting to know this person, they randomly posted a picture of the book “Brida” on social media. I might be slow on the uptake but at this point I can see through the veil. Anyway, they told me they'd lend it to me. Well, we met up and I got the book. I’ve started to read it and it is full of magic and the overarching theme is the soul mate. I’m only part way through but I’ve realized my world is full of magic. This morning I got the wonderment feeling mixed in with a little anxiety because I have to let go of my reasoned worldview completely. I’m not in control; I’m enchanted. Where will this new adventure take me? I’m being pulled along and I don’t seem to be much in control. It will force me to leave my comfort zone. Heroes are called to adventure. I suppose it’s time to polish up the sword.

I know it’s me behind all of this. I created the universe by becoming two and then birthed myself into my own creation. There’s another plane of consciousness where I know I can make whatever I want happen. They are showing up as coincidences and synchronicities. Ever since I started out on this hero’s journey in earnest they have been happening or at least I have finally started recognizing them.

I’ve dreamt this same universe into existence many times before but have never beaten the game. I always get to the same point on the cusp of discovering the secret to the game and then cannot go any further. My journey has been derailed in the past by fear of the dragon, it has been scuttled by attachments and duties to family structures, or it has been game over due to not getting attached and destroying myself by doing something stupid with my freedom. I’ve also acquiesced to demands of culture. All these choices resulted in game over and I lived out my life in frustration, never reaching my goal.

Each time I start the game again it gets harder. This time I put a cultural prohibition upon the ingestion of consciousness changing substances. I put the threat of a lengthy prison sentence on them so I wouldn’t discover their power and keep away from them. My parents scared me off them and I spent most of my life oblivious to them until my mid-forties. Then I found them again and the game was on. I came at myself as a dragon and scared myself senseless to try and end the game again before I got further. I threatened myself with death a few times but I kept playing the game. I used the pursuit of the Goddess to keep me going past the barrier of fear. I did it this time. I’m in uncharted territory and it’s all unraveling.

Curiosities are falling by the wayside. There are characters within this game that know the secret and they smile at me as I walk past them. If something catches my interest, I can make it happen. The latest one concerning the soul mate is quite funny. Coincidental outcomes within our daily lives are a message. The message is telling you your rational mind isn’t in control. We all have this dual nature and there lies within a power that is the fount of all the games and trivialities. The fatal flaw in accessing this power is you can get what you want; all you got to do is ask. Power. It’s not bombast when my shadow tells me he controls the going ons of the world.

It is through these rumblings of the deep that I accepted him into my life as my teacher. The regular attendance to class came gradually as there was no mandatory need to show up. Little by little and these little tests and coincidences I engineered along the way finally convinced me what I intuit and what I have come to realize are indeed the situation at hand. It feels very religious like when someone accepts Jesus into their life. Jesus made his pitch but I turned him down and kept searching.  In my case, I accepted my shadow.

The concept of the soul mate was serendipitously brought back into my life. I have been searching for her and have looked into the eyes of others and wondered: Are you my soul mate? One time I drank Ayahuasca and the Goddess appeared in a red corset and danced for me. She then laid over top of me and I felt the most erotic sensation ever. Off the charts. The shaman’s song ended and the scene vanished. It was tantalizing but I didn’t pursue it as the spiritual journey and sexual pleasure I had not yet connected.

It’s six years since that experience and I’ve thought of it and connected it to the Goddess of Love but have never quite figured it out. I’ve come a long way in my hero’s journey. I know who I am and I know what I have accomplished from the standpoint of unveiling the mystery. I have begun to tackle the mystery of the soul mate. I was looking in the wrong places. She is all around me. She is love. She is form. She has many names and many guises. Like I said I know who I am and this should have been the clue that led me directly to her instead of wandering around aimlessly looking for her in others. Ah this life and the journey I am on can be quite amusing! Of course, the answer came to me as I was puffing away on Mapacho out in nature. There she is. Wow. She is hidden from view but with me always. 

harmonic entanglement

The harmonization of the feminine and masculine on a cosmic level is the same template as found here on earth. In other words, it is a random occurrence and two patterns meet and fall in love which seems to me to be a word that can be used to describe harmony. Energy patterns meet and harmonize thus creating offspring. In the cosmic model, the offspring is the universe. In this conception, there are as many universes as there are divine couplings and each set of parents gives their children the free will to grow up and become a reflection of their divine parents. Parents are tempted to guide their child in their development but ultimately let them grow and prosper on their own as this allows for growth and understanding of self; self being consciousness.

I now have two conceptions of the origin of the universe. The other one is a model where a cosmic harmony of feminine and masculine polarities dream the universe into existence and this reality is defined as the splinters of consciousness which have the illusion of independence from the whole. The way each distinct consciousness acts helps psychoanalyze the whole so the great self can understand self better. My two concepts share the similarity in which there is a connection between the divine feminine and masculine and from this is produced the universe as either the divine child or a dream. Both models contain the sum of the feminine and masculine. The child conception recognizes our fundamental unity while the dream accentuates our separateness while encouraging one to wake up from the dream and realize unity.

Why do I love something? Well, because it gives me a good feeling; a feeling of connection, of compassion, of pleasure, of safety. There is a feeling of well-being associated with pangs of love. It also amps up feelings of separation when what you love is not with you and a longing to be in their presence. It’s leading me to realize that love is energetic harmony; whatever form that may take. We are all probably familiar with the romantic kind which is a strong vibration which is very addictive; like a drug including the requisite withdrawal symptoms. It’s instructive to sit with the remembrance of that feeling and try to deconstruct it from a rational point of view. An example which will help understand the idea of harmonic entanglement is the modern pop song. These songs emit vibrational patterns which hook the listener. The hypnotic pull is strong and creates the desire for more. We are addicted to novelty and experiencing this feeling again and again. It is natural that over the course of a lifetime you fall frequently in and out of this love. The kick experienced with each harmonic entanglement, though somewhat familiar, is a new mountain to climb. Taking what I know about energy, thanks to plant medicine and their teachings, I can extrapolate the feeling of love into the heightened energetic state experienced with Huachuma and draw some pretty amazing conclusions.

The harmonic entanglement of disparate energy patterns, as seen through the lens of the great cactus, produces visions of rainbow fireworks and orgasmic sensations throughout the whole body. You can find this connection with others, through nature, and through finding peace and love with your own damn self, in essence bringing all together within the sum of the feminine and masculine. There is a lot of truth to the saying that to fix the world first fix yourself and part of that process is self-love and finding this self-love is discovering your hidden soulmate and having a torrid love affair with self. Once you reconcile within, then you can project that love out into the world and light up humanity.

What a wonderful teaching the plants have given me. It is definitely a course and their knowledge is not something that is discovered with just a couple weeks of class. It is on-going; including copious amounts of homework. My maestro and human teacher don Howard explained that he considered it malpractice to offer just one Ayahuasca session; rather he recommended a cycle of work over the course of a week which involved from three to five ceremonies. Having just the one ceremony would lead more towards confusion, as what the plants teach is revealed over the course of time and the initial ceremony may be a session for purification or to get you thinking about something which is then revealed in a later ceremony, making the lessons more powerful and long lasting. I also think don Howard was holding back a little bit as well. Since he was also running a business, it might be perceived as being a little crass if he told everyone they should come back year after year to continue on with the plants. I have no affiliation with any retreat centre so I’ll just say it as I see it. Also understand that I’ve been blessed to find a place which enables the seeking and understanding to continue, minus any drama or questions of motive. It might not be the case for everyone; perhaps I’m just looking at this from my own personal lens but I think the maximum benefit out of a relationship with plant teachers spans the course of years and multiple cycles of work. I say that with understanding my own personal motivations as an inveterate seeker of knowledge and understanding. Within a cycle of work you may find love and ultimately that is all you need. I needed six cycles of work with them to start to piece together the energetic connections I feel. I’ve always felt the energy but didn’t understand it. I was challenged after my fourth cycle of work to figure it out. Two cycles later and I’m going to write an exam on this one and score pretty high.