perspective of the heart

There seems to be such an interesting paradox at work here in this world. I objectify my surroundings and sometimes feel alone. I seek out others in order to share existence and experience with the other. I live within duality, yet I feel separate. I feel like a solitary being, alone within a smorgasbord of playmates. Conversely, I intuit the lack of senses would enable non-duality and when I think of this paradigm, I envision being merged with all so that even though I don't sense the other, I am the other. Duality forces me towards finding unity and then non-duality compels objectification in order to enable freedom to choose and see what the many from the one will choose. Duality reveals our intentions and nature.

It's very interesting to ponder how we create experience based on our energetic state which gives us perspective. What I mean is that we are cyclic energetic beings. Non-duality and duality are different pit stops on the energetic wave we travel. At full acceleration, we are free, separate, and become fully engulfed within a dualistic universe. As the energetic signature slows, we return to a state of non-dualistic unity and become merged with the one. The genius of the set-up is the constant motion which enables perspective. To freeze the motion is to create a snapshot in time and only then can we label existence as non-dual or conversely a sea of the many we call duality.

Deceleration of energy into concrete form is an invitation towards knowledge of self. The human experience prepares us to once again blast off into the freedom of non-attachment to form. We rebuild the store of energy and from the recoil of being trapped in a physical form, we once again prepare to accelerate to the highest highs. The oscillation of energy is the ultimate roller coaster and as energetic beings we thrive on the adrenaline rush of the carnival's thrills and chills. The body is our desires taking form. We are in a body because it is what we wanted. We wanted to continue on in experiencing all. The grand carnival of the universe is an open invitation for all energetic beings, full of delights, and of course the requisite nausea and stomachache. Gotta take the good with the bad.

The ultimate game we have set-up for ourselves to play is to find unity within duality. Because we are objectification machines, in order to enact unity, we must have faith. Faith in the power of love to get us home. Our senses will lead us astray and our logic processes will not be able to compute a feeling of love. Knowledge and sense perceptions turn you into a blind man when it comes to love. Pretty ingenious don't you think? We are blind when it comes to finding the path of the heart. Sense perceptions obscure what we seek. We are blind to the beauty all around us and we only see the hardship and ugliness. Sometimes we get a glimpse, so we know it's there. The path of the heart is discovered and travelled by letting go of what I think is real from the standpoint of physical perception. Perception is moved from the head into the heart.

The masculine is duality. He is light and the creation of this dazzling display of his essence involves a pulsing from on to off. You could say he is the light, and he is the dark. The divine masculine is acceleration, and he heads towards freedom. The man wants adventure and no attachments. The feminine is unity. She is form and embodies the power of love. Love has no dualistic opposite. Love is constant power while masculine power oscillates. The masculine power touches the feminine's embrace of all in order to decelerate. The pulsing from acceleration to deceleration is the rubber-band that creates the energy which allows creation. Form is deceleration of energy and freedom is the acceleration of the light.

It is the masculine that objectifies the feminine and through this desire creates the duality needed to come to life. The dualistic world of appearances is a man's world. The feminine gives the world form and the objects in the world allow for experience. Objectification creates duality and the recognition of a pattern having a beginning and an end. Life and death are created through delineating events within an inherent unity. The pulse of the masculine creates the eventual decay of the form as it heads towards the freedom of dissolution. Death frees us from form, and we are liberated once again. We accelerate into the astral planes and become high.

As humans, we get lost in identification with the body. It is a necessary course to take in the university of life. Attachment to the ego self creates the urgency to escape the finite body. We can project into the future and see we are going to perish. We are slowly drowning within form and there's no way out. That's a pretty good game. If you lose the attachment to form and learn the ways of vibratory planes you will start to see the way out of the unpleasant ending of biological life. The first time I tried a psychedelic I was given the knowledge of how to traverse the vibratory planes. I left my body and became the most high. I felt I was in a place of exultation, and it was so exhilarating. When I came back down into my body, I remember being dizzy, nauseous, and having to puke. My finger was tapping wildly on the floor of the jungle maloca as the Great Goddess explained to me all is vibration and schooled me in the ways of astral travel. Being so high from the experience made me eager to do it again. The next time I was sent to the hell regions and instead of being high I was so low. I experienced the classic ego death of consciousness explorers and was frightened by the possibility of losing my identity. I was being shown how attached I was to the small self and though I didn't know it at the time, astral travel requires you to give up the idea of who you think you are. You are so much greater and having an attachment to your earthly concept of identity will prevent you from exploring self and your true nature.

My consciousness journey has slowly unraveled like an onion. Like everyone else on this earth, I began from a place of being this lonely being who was trapped in a world that was not of their making. I wondered why am I here and what is this all about? Well, I progressed to the point where I wanted to explore consciousness and I was terribly naive about the avenues available for exploration. The walking foot path towards the inner sanctum through meditation didn't appeal to me. It's a strange contradiction because I'm a very patient person yet within was a desire to go fast in order to explore what I was seeking. I ended up exploring consciousness through psychoactive chemicals at the invitation of the Great Goddess, whom I had discovered in ancient Egypt. Within no time, I found her and was lifted to the highest of highs into a place of exultation. I was shown I was the divine masculine, and she was my Queen. As expected from this experience, I now saw myself as the light so when in the next journey into obfuscated consciousness I was presented with the lowest of the low and darkness, of course I objectified my dark brother as the other. To make a long story short, it took 8 years to give up the attachment to seeing myself solely as the light and objectifying the darkness as the other. I finally accepted it is all me and this integration has allowed me to proceed in the consciousness course to the path of the heart. I am a fully integrated man. I am the creator and the destroyer; the light and the dark. I am the master of transformation. I am the cause of all the suffering in the world and I can lift the whole world out of suffering.

As I enrolled in the Great Goddess' heart course, I again wondered why I objectified her? I know I'm at lesson 101 so of course I feel this way however from past experience I know I am her when seen from a non-dualistic perspective. But I'm not there yet and so though I intuit the two brothers of light and dark within and recognize them as me I don't have that feeling in regard to the feminine.

I know of the sacred triad and see myself as the coming forth of the desire between the divine masculine and divine feminine. Not only that, but I recognize I have come forth as a man in this go round on the wheel of appearances. It took me into my mid-50s to reconcile the two brothers within. I objectified my darkness as the other while identifying with the good light. Eventually, I got the lesson and vaulted past this spiritual block. I still objectify her though. The love of the Great Goddess - my mother and my heart, I still perceive as external. I know she is within, and I will find the way home when I become love. This is why I lack understanding and still objectify her.

Searching for the one is like an onion. The journey is a recursive attempt to find the fount. I keep seeing two. Duality. I look into self and see two brothers. I bring them together and declare my integrated masculine self, but I do not feel whole without a mate. I look for the feminine who makes me complete. Once I find her and recombine, then we recreate the one. I am a piece of the one. When we combine, the sexual metaphor revealed here on earth demonstrates we create another polarity of either male or female. They are a universe unto themselves and seek out a partner to continue creation. The overarching game is separation which compels you to seek wholeness. Wholeness then leads to another instance of separation. Creation continues the eternal wheel of coming and going. When the two combine into one the world stops.

Underlying the eternal nature of consciousness is three. The one within the two that defines the three. To label the paradox of the perspective states of non-duality and duality is the triad. The triad does not come forth; instead, the three is behind all that cyclically comes forth and returns. As one, we search for our mate. We are Eros, compelled to fulfill the magnetic attraction which satiates desire. The discovery of what makes you complete leads to the two becoming one. This is the grand game which spawns many little games within existence. The one comes forth from the two and the game continues on and on.

In visionary experiences, many times the Great Goddess has presented herself as the butterfly. It was hardly surprising as I pondered the question of my objectification of the divine feminine while out in the woods the next day, that the lessons from my heart continued. A butterfly floated past, and I saw within the exquisite grace and movement of the fluttering of its wings a freedom that was expressing to me the answer I was looking for. Soon, the butterfly found her mate and they were fluttering about in unison. The butterfly is the heart and the representation of the Great Goddess. I know this to be true and I saw the union of the feminine and masculine divine creating this unity that was also expressing such freedom. Butterflies glide through the ether seemingly independent of gravity or laws of thermodynamics. I saw non-attachment and I saw unity. I saw the fundamental nature of all - the union of the two powers of Goddess and God. I intuited the lesson and got the answer I was looking for. The hero's journey I travelled on was to prepare me to fight for my freedom because freedom is the power the heart needs to become whole. Without freedom, the heart will attach to everything. Masculine power gives the heart wings and allows love to flourish in freedom and love all.

The lessons of perspective are front and centre. Remember all is here and now. I know that depending on perspective you see separation or unity. I'm in a body and I'm an objectification machine therefore I see separation. I know when I drop the body and merge into the all I will be in unified bliss but will eventually long for the ice cream cone of freedom and separation in order to experience the wonders of self. What I do is sprinkle the illusion of time into this equation of perspective and project a motion path which in the future will allow me to return to wholeness. But all is here and now. Just because I feel separate doesn't mean I am not unified. It's all in how I look at it. Perspective. Everything is happening now.

It leads back to the lessons of heaven and hell and how I am responsible for creating the conditions which result in the presentation of the world. I've been conscious of world events and the suffering within this hellscape we have created. I have this innate feeling that when you drop the body you don't have a chance of going to hell because you are leaving hell. I have also seen via Huachuma and subsequently magic mushrooms that hell is what I have helped create. I can also contribute to creating heaven on earth. The maestro don Howard would tell us that you don't find heaven; you realize it. Don Howard was a Huachumero of the highest order and based on my experience with the plant, this lesson would have been drummed into his head as well. Huachuma allows you to glimpse the unity of all through the heart, if you let grandfather guide you. Don Howard was preparing students to walk the path of the heart.

So, though I project into the future a heaven of all coming together to live in bliss, the possibility exists upon earth. To change perspective is through changing vibration and witnessing the power of love enact what it is we search and long for. The power remains hidden and unlocked for most because the gateway to the heart offers you a power to manifest all desires and control your surroundings. Everyone wants that power and when you figure out you have it it's hard to give it up for what's behind door number 3. I do wish to walk the path of the heart in earnest, and I know I must walk the path without rigging the game. I must approach it of my own accord with free will.

The path of the heart is what you are left with when all else falls away. After you sift through your bullshit, drop attachments, and walk free through the hellfire of transformation is the gift of clarity. You discover who you are and why you did this. You wanted to be put to the test and still find the way back home and that path is the path of the heart. No matter where you are or how lost you have become, love will lead you back home.