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Monday, June 25, 2018

reality?

I wonder just how much capacity we have to create our own reality? I have been having these thoughts that could make a pretty good short story in that at some point I exited someone else's world that kept me in bondage and formed my own reality. My actor would then become latent or dead in someone else's reality and I would then direct my own play through intention. Or perhaps it is a gradual process where you take control of your own destiny? I think part of this thinking is that my life does seem to have headed in a direction I think deep down was my greatest desire. As a kid I could remember wanting to figure it all out. I veered off that path many times but a power kept me coming back to that path. In the last two months I have had two dreams in particular that I was sure they weren't dreams while I was in the midst of them. In a dream last week I drank Huachuma and was tripping in my dream. It was similar to having a sexual dream where though it was all an act of mentation it feels very real. In waking reality I have to actually drink Huachuma or physically participate in a sex act but in the dreaming reality there is an image or manifestation of it and the effects are then felt by my body which is lying there in a sleeping/hypnotic stage. How do I know if right now this isn't all some construct as well? I do feel sensation, it feels real, and maybe all these actors in my reality are putting on an impeccable show but I do think I am capable of creating and maintaining this world through mental processes.

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