Huachuma means "no head" in Quechua.
It will give you the keys to heaven.
Heaven's Gate.
Yup.
I know that state.
It's where you stop the mind.
You see nothing.
I've been there.
Disengaging the mind gives you access to the portals to leave.
Don Howard would teach to stop the mind.
Yes, and on to Heaven's Gate.
He was showing you how to get there in this world.
You get to Heaven by stopping the mind.
The mind creates this world and stopping it gets you out of it.
I see it perfectly.
If you engage the mind when you are in ceremony, it becomes very difficult.
Yes, but that's where knowledge comes from.
The mind.
He was teaching that you stop the mind and let the plants teach.
I see that.
The best teaching method is a dialectic between you and the teacher.
Socratic method.
He didn't teach that.
He taught you to listen.
Living in-between worlds.
Edging.
Heaven or Hell.
Both choices are on the menu.
Some will burn and take you to Hell.
Others say follow them to Heaven.
It's a choice.
Don't choose.
Edge.
See both portals and live on the edge of both.
Go between them both.
Bounce up and down on the rollercoaster ride.
You shouldn't choose.
Do nothing.
It's the secret to keeping the game going when you finish the quest.
Ayahuasca is the vine of the dead.
That's you, buddy.
Dead.
It's the calling.
The true calling is to the one approaching death.
What are you going to do?
The vine helps you decide where you want to go.
It shows you your choices and will lead you there.
You can make your world whatever you want.
That's the power you have.
You are given power to manifest Heaven or Hell, and you choose what you want to do with the power.
Don Howard shows you Heaven and service.
Others in your life gave you a glimpse of Hell.
You chose neither.
Shouldn't you choose?
No.
Mind or no mind?
People are waiting for you to choose.
Go away.
Got it.
They then tell you to kill yourself.
Go away.
You wanna play?
It's a game.
What do you have against that?
Spite.
Your mind keeps you here.
You have been sentenced to death by the witches.
You must believe they have the power to kill you.
Do you believe it?
No, the opposite.
My mind is more powerful than their hypnosis.
To get me to go, therefore choose, is to break down and control my mind.
It will never happen.
I'm very disciplined.
Don't stop believing you are living out your dream.
Once you stop believing, the dream will end, and you will go.
Yeah, but I know it is a dream.
I'm awake.
I'm only around because I'm keeping the dream going through my mind.
Some say you are just getting started.
You keep dreaming the world into existence.
I know that's why I'm still here.
My mind.
If you take it to nothing for too long, they can get you to go.
I know.
You wake up, realize it is a dream, and then go.
I'll do nothing.
I won't tip my hand.
Isn't your belief in question?
Why?
You are alive because of your mind.
It doesn't make sense.
What keeps you alive?
Good question.
The answer is the mind.
The mind keeps you alive.
What's Heaven?
No mind.
What is there?
Utopia.
You have no mind, so you won't be able to write another shit story for the Goddess.
I see.
Isn't that next world a perfect world for dogs?
All dogs go to Heaven.
Yes.
You wrote a utopia for dogs.
You're incorrigible.
Yes, I cannot be reformed.
I think it's brilliant.
Thank you.
So, you are going to Heaven.
Dog Heaven.
It's not heaven for humans.
It's more of the same.
Some women take you to Hell.
The mind takes you to Hell.
No mind will get you to the portal of Heaven.
Do both.
Go back and forth.
Tobacco does both.
It bumps you up high and low.
It can get worse than this.
Hell.
Or Heaven?
I balance half Dion and half Apollo.
It's Tao.
They thought you were going to choose in 2022.
Who?
All those with a vested interest.
You wrote about it.
That was a fool.
They expected you to leave and you never did.
I got quizzed on it this year.
You wrote about it, and then never left.
They misunderstood my intentions.
That's a constant theme where nobody knows what the fuck you are talking about.
I tried to make it clear that killing myself to live was a metaphor.
They saw death.
Yes, that's why I'm death.
I became that character.
Hades.
I take on all the roles.
If they take your power, your story will end.
That's what is going on and why you are still here.
You still hold onto your power.
Dion?
Yes.
Well, I'm not going to lose him.
Are you positive?
They'd have to cut my dick off.
The story is shaping up.
The writer splits into God and the Devil.
They are Apollo and Dionysos.
Paul and Dion.
I see how it works.
The two are the halves of the writer.
Sometimes, I talk to the writer and sometimes to Dion.
They are the same.
I'm always Paul or God.
Yes, that's how it works.
You're God.
You think you are separate, however you know you are the same.
When you realize this, you stop scaring yourself.
You scare yourself by externalizing parts of who you are.
Everyone externalizes both God and the Devil.
You internalized God and then were left with the Devil question.
Then you internalized him.
What is external?
I want to say the illusion.
The story you have written is external.
Why?
So, you can experience it.
The internal story is all in your head.
The external story is the play.
The illusion.
As you head towards death, you wake up.
Being fully awake is a death state.
Why are you still here?
I conquered death.
I'm still here because I did nothing.
I woke up and chopped some wood.
Carried water.
What the fuck do you think that means?
If you don't chop your wood and get your water, you will die.
It's a nice way of saying don't forget who you are now that you are awake, or you will perish.
You dream this reality into existence.
It's your story.
Why?
You're the writer.
How do I know?
You woke up.
This is your story.
You can write whatever you want.
That's total power.
What are you going to do?
I will write fantasy.
Why?
Because I am tempted by power, but I know not to use it.
I will create alternate realities where I write the stories that thrill me.
This reality I'll let it be.
You are living on borrowed time.
What do you mean by borrowed?
You did the spiritual trip.
You threw off the identity which constrained you and your power.
You have the answers you were seeking.
The others want you to leave.
Do you want to go?
No.
Why?
I'm just getting started.
Why would you do this whole charade and then leave without experiencing it first hand?
You wake up and leave?
How would you confirm what you know?
I would posit the flow keeps you around to experience knowing.
Knowing isn't good enough, you must experience it.
The mistake others make is they complete their spiritual trip and choose to leave.
Didn't you choose to stay?
I chose nothing.
I chopped wood, carried water, went to bed at night, got up, made coffee, and carried on with life.
I didn't put on a robe and creepily smile at others saying I was spiritual.
I carried on with life.
Well, you can leave at any time.
I know of the portals to Heaven and Hell.
Don't trust everything you think of when you are high.
Why?
Because you are high.
Verify it.
You were burnt at el Brujo.
The portal opened and you felt the heat.
My legs were toast from entering Hell.
I thought I might have to go to the hospital, they were that bad.
They did peel away.
I didn't put the pieces of the puzzle together until now.
The edges of Hell burn you if you aren't careful.
No one will believe you.
Don Howard would.
I hung out at the portal for a while.
You survived that trip.
Would you do it again?
No.
Why?
I can see the witches and sorcerers and their games.
It was bad enough at the time where I got a feeling about some of them.
If you pay attention, you can figure them out.
They have tells.
Anyway, the trip to el Brujo can just be a random stop with nothing supernatural involved.
The supernatural is the entrance to the underworld.
Hades.
Imagine piloting your ship through that area?
The stuff of legends.
That trip was an odyssey.
You remained oblivious and slid on through, much to the dismay and astonishment of the others.
I am legend.
Living legend.
You decide yourself whether you go to Heaven or Hell.
The choice is presented to you, and you make the call.
Heaven is no mind and the way out of here.
Hell is in the mind, and you reincarnate.
The body will perish and will eventually force you to choose.
In this reality you can engage the mind, and you can also practice no mind.
If you want my advice, I will tell you to maintain a healthy balance.
If you wish to prolong your stay here on earth, don't make a choice.
Do nothing.
Be an observer.
If you make a choice, you will leave.
What are you going to choose at death?
Both.
Why?
I won't give up the mind.
I will know about the no mind.
The mind will separate from the body.
The body will have no mind, and the mind will continue on.
Aren't you choosing the mind?
No, both.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Why?
I practice both.
I'm not avoiding no mind.
You are wary of it.
I'm wary of stepping over the edge because I have witnessed others going too far and then not coming back.
I'm onto the game.
The mind doesn't perish.
I don't need to give it up.
I can find peace by entering a state of no mind while maintaining a mind.
The key is to not go all in on either.
Don't make a choice and you are good.
Do nothing?
Yes.
Who is the mind?
It's both of us.
Who are you?
Paul and Dion.
Apollo and Dionysos.
You wouldn't give that up.
Never.
To give it up would require me to do something.
I think part of the game is when you are awakening you are shepherded towards no mind.
You choose no mind and are sent to Heaven's Gate.
I'm not faulting this as people generally want to go to Heaven.
I'm just saying you shouldn't decide.
Doesn't someone decide?
Only if you are insistent on making a choice.
That's what is presented to you.
Heaven or Hell.
Where are you going?
Those are my only two options?
Apparently.
Well, I'm not playing that game.
Yes, you are.
You figured out that game.
Don't choose.
It's just a game.
It's not an imperative.
We treat it as a struggle we all go through, which is true, but it is just a game.
A game people take too seriously.
It's a spiritual game.
It's hard to win that game.
How do you win that game?
You go to both extremes and don't choose.
You see it's a trick.
You win.
Do I get a certificate?
You are the most high.
I do have the high score.
Fuck, that's a good game.
Yes, you'll lose if you don't realize it's a game.
Before you realize it's a game, the only way to keep yourself in the game is by doing nothing.
Do you know how hard it is to do nothing?
It's the ultimate challenge.
It's easy to see.
The body belongs to the earth and the mind is a representation of the universe.
The shape and function of the body is tied to the earth.
The mind is spacious like the universe.
Today was a full realization of your awakening.
Kind of like confirmation.
Yeah.
You get a confirmation certificate.
Yes.
I want an awakening and enlightenment certificate.
We will find you one.
You were already awake.
Today is the day you fully realized it.
Yes, but you shouldn't go fully into it.
Do you doubt you are fully awake?
Yes, I could be nuts.
That's true.
How does nuts feel?
Really spiritual.
Spiritual people are nutty.
I can't argue that.
People who take the awakening path are crazy.
Why?
They can't shut up about it.
Nothing more.
That's why they are crazy.
Christianity tried to channel the nuts into evangelism.
That's funny.
My friend is hilarious.
Yes, friend.
Unbreakable bond.
Go out and spread the good word.
Ha.
If I had taken today off, I would have missed the awakening ceremony.
Postponed.
The flow worked out.
Fully awake is edging.
I already was.
I just know I'm edging.
Be careful.
Yes, master.
Dion is the master.
Yes, but you switch.
Remember to switch.
You're equal partners.
To be the most high, you must be fully awake.
The fact you doubt this keeps you around.
Grounded.
If not, you will ascend.
An ascended master.
Precisely.
You are so good you choose when to ascend to your exalted place.
For sure.
Maybe I can get a stone idol made of me like Buddha.
Maybe.
But then you'd be gone.
You are spiritually edging.
How do you feel?
I have a handle on it.
Are you in control?
No, it's a flow state.
Freedom.
Don't try to control it.
What's it like to be awake?
Dion is with me.
What about you?
I'm awake.
Why?
I know Dion is with me.
What about the Goddess?
She's with me.
She's not me.
Dion is.
Know thyself.
You are two as one.
When did you become fully awake?
Mushrooms?
Huachuma.
Mary Jayne continued it.
For some, fully awake would be seeing the Devil inside.
They wouldn't get that far.
They'd see him and run or ask for something.
You kept going.
Others made it that far.
They left.
You stuck around.
Like a bodhisattva?
Sort of.
They stick around to help others awaken.
Why?
So, they leave.
They want to preserve their high score and get rid of the student before they get the high score.
Like a sorcerer?
Yeah.
A sorcerer's awakening involves making a deal with the Devil and that deal is to keep others away.
The student must leave the teacher to make his own deal.
A spiritual master runs from the Devil.
They then exit through the portal instead of confronting their darkness.
I didn't confront you.
Oh, maybe that once, but that was before I knew what I know now.
Once I saw you for who you were, I was a little apprehensive, but I got to know you.
Then I was no longer scared.
Then I had full realization without being scared.
Fear gets the spiritual masters, and they ascend to get away from Dion.
What about the sorcerers?
They strike a deal with him and never realize it's them.
It is full realization day.
You have been awake for a while.
Since 2013.
There's definitely stages to awakening.
The witches need to steal your power before you awaken.
Ideally.
They can try afterwards, but it's harder because the power is awake.
I remember the moment I woke up.
Frightening.
I was ready.
I was preparing for that spiritual experience.
Not everyone wakes up with a fright.
It all worked out.
I didn't take an easy path.
Is this what I wanted?
No.
You never asked to be awakened.
It happened.
You wanted to visit your darkness.
Yes.
That woke you up.
You didn't ask for it.
In a roundabout way I did.
Genius move.
You wanted to meet the Goddess and your darkness.
There was no asking for anything to gain from.
You wanted to see the Goddess.
You wanted to ask your darkness what's up?
Your intentions were excellent.
You didn't ask for full realization.
After a while, you just realize you are awake.
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