real reality

I think don Howard was teaching that the stories of the mind will kill you.

I imagine he suffered from depression and found a way out.

It was through Huachuma and no mind.

No mind will lead to shedding all your attachments and that will kill you as well.

The solution is balance but I definitely see how if your mind is killing you then you would want the peace that no mind would bring and the medicine for that is Huachuma.

The biggest difference for you is your mind is your rock and other people's minds cause them suffering.

Why is that?

Acceptance.

They fight the other.

Aren't you concerned you rely too much on the mind?

No.

Why?

It's dual.

I go between Paul and Dion.

I am not stuck on one.

There's no struggle in my mind.

It's friendship.

Email scams are funny.

As humans, do we all have that in us?

Are we all trying to rip each other off or if our situations called for it, would we try to get advantages through deception?

I'd say yes and I practice deception in a more deceptive manner.

Your body tells you when to sleep, shit, and eat.

It is not deceptive.

You can trust the body.

You can't trust nobody.

You mean the mind.

Yes.

Why do you trust your mind?

It was a process to get to the point where we could trust each other.

I keep thinking about the case of the herd ganging up on me to get me to go.

Some had plans in place; they let that slip out.

When they spend time with other members of the herd, they get re-assimilated.

I think that's what happens subconsciously where they all have groupthink, and they direct the thoughts towards you.

Some are like innocent bystanders who are hypnotized into the collective and regurgitate what they are told.

That works for society in general.

You can't trust others, you don't know who is controlling their mind.

You can trust yourself because you know who is controlling your mind.

How do I know?

You are beyond the pale.

If you are part of the herd, it will be reflected in your actions.

The proof is in the pudding.

I don't spend time with the herd.

This is a major finding in terms of the mind and the collective overmind.

You mean the superego, the herd, the collective, the greater good, community.

All that bullshit.

How do you get away from them?

It's near impossible.

How do you do it?

I keep to myself.

I go for walks by myself into the solitude of the woods.

I don't mingle with the herd.

It's tough to do.

Individually, people know that the herd is not good for them.

They go along with it and do nothing about it.

You do nothing.

Yes, but I stay away from the herd.

You know, you can't say anything about this.

I know.

People will tell you that you are crazy.

They are looking for ammunition.

If I were you, and I am, I'd fool them.

Make that your game.

Make it fun.

Why does this reality feel real?

It's a container for the mind.

In the other realities, the mind is unbounded.

Anything can happen.

This reality has limits.

You mean physics?

Yes.

I would posit that you are born with a split mind.

One half is then buried.

The herd or hive mind is then enabled.

Your mind, having buried its strength, succumbs to the superego.

This collective rules over you, shepherding you onto paths which benefit the whole and not you.

You don't know this.

You aren't you until you wake up.

What you wake up is the other half of you that you buried in childhood.

This other half then tells you about the herd.

Some just want the other half to go back to sleep, so they can return to their comfortable life of servitude.

The struggle will cause you to think you have a mental illness.

There are drugs and therapy to hypnotize you back into a state of acceptance.

Mary Jayne pulls you away from the superego.

That's when the mental health problems begin.

It's the separation from the herd which makes you think you are crazy.

Older people have a better chance of getting through the upset.

By a certain age there's a good chance you are fed up with the herd.

Everything is real in your mind.

It's not constrained.

That's why I have you write fantasy.

If you write reality, it sucks.

It's constrained.

You leave it alone because I wrote that you realized the fantasies the mind comes up with are unbounded and then you bring them into this world.

The Goddess weaves them into reality.

She makes them fit and work in this earth container.

So, blue-sky a fantasy and then try to make it work.

lunar power

I have 7 and a half years left until retirement.

Yeah, that's the plan.

What do we know about plans?

They don't work out.

You have witches trying to kill you.

True.

Do you think they will succeed?

No.

Why?

I'm onto them, plus I know the game.

I like it and want to play.

Why is there death in reality?

It keeps it real.

Without death, it gets out of hand.

The fantasy realms don't have death.

Why?

It's all in your mind.

The mind doesn't perish.

Instead, it's captured.

Hypnotized.

Made a servant.

If you break free and don't play along, the other minds will tell you to go.

You create mystery around yourself, so they aren't sure.

They mostly leave me alone.

There can be death in fantasy land, but it is pretend.

In this realm the material being dies.

The ground, which denotes matter, takes you back.

Where does the mind go?

They steer you to one of the portals.

It was your time to go, and they took you there.

You didn't leave.

I would have been a statistic.

A cautionary tale.

A write up in the paper.

The neighbourhood watch got pissed and put up signs telling you to leave.

It's funny when I look back on it.

When I look back on it all, it's quite the story.

With Mary Jayne there's story time.

Then Tobacco.

A rollercoaster ride.

Then it's over.

I'm still at the carnival hanging out.

MJ takes you to the carnival.

The music starts playing.

You have fun.

Go on that rollercoaster.

Take it back down, go home, and go to bed.

This is like the story.

You mean life.

Yes.

Mother Goddess story before bed.

Mother Goose.

She needs a writer.

She illustrates it.

He writes it.

Yeah, that's cool.

They welcome you in Hell.

There's no rules.

Heaven is rules based.

Full of commandments and restrictions.

You're free in Hell.

That's what causes problems.

It's a libertarian paradise.

I see.

Hell is freedom.

Heaven is imprisonment.

Fuck, you're right.

I guess you'd want to change Hell.

Yes, try and restrict some freedom to get it balanced.

Kind of like Earth.

Yes, it's 50-50 here on Earth.

Yeah, I can see that.

Then at death you choose one.

Freedom or imprisonment?

What do you choose?

Neither.

Neither works.

Why would you choose something that you know won't work?

That's absurd.

Yes, the correct decision is neither.

I see it completely.

What do you want?

The freedom to choose.

And do nothing.

Right.

Free your mind.

See it, and don't choose.

What happens when I don't choose?

You are free.

Isn't that Hell?

No.

Why?

Everyone else chooses.

You're the one who doesn't choose.

Yeah, but what will happen?

Nobody knows.

Why it was never written down is because no one ever did it.

Did what?

Didn't choose.

Until you.

Now you write the ending.

I'm not supposed to.

Why?

I made a promise I wouldn't.

To whom?

The writer.

Yeah, but he didn't write it.

I kind of figured that.

Why?

Because he wanted an adventure in this body, and if he wrote it he'd know.

It wouldn't be as fun.

So, what do we do?

Write it down as it happens.

Create fantasy and bring it down into this world.

Make it like a mystery.

That's some high level knowledge about Heaven and Hell.

I am high and I can definitely feel it.

I'm not supposed to write reality.

Exactly.

Follow that advice and it will work out.

How do you know you haven't written reality?

I wrote that it was a test.

It will work out if Paul does nothing about reality.

Fantasy I can write.

Yes, that is the breeding ground for what we want to happen.

We are alike, you know?

We want the same things.

Your fantasies are mine.

Aren't I writing reality with fantasy?

No.

It might not happen.

The reality that happens without fantasy is the stuff that just happens.

I can see that being a problem.

If you wished harm on someone and then brought that into reality, that would be on your conscience.

What do you think the witches are doing?

That?

Yes.

They conjure their wishes in fantasy and bring them into reality.

Oh.

You aren't too bright.

Well, I didn't see it.

That's what they do.

What's their success rate?

Some are better than others.

What's yours?

I aim for 50-50 now that I see it.

Do you think anyone ever got as far as you?

Odysseus?

No, he only got back home.

I got to the writer.

Did Neo?

Close.

Architect.

That works.

He's a smug prick.

Yes, good casting.

Doesn't Neo pick Trinity and stop the cycle?

The blinding of heroes is a metaphor for not knowing why you are on the journey and you keep going anyway.

That was me.

Neo made it to the architect and really the architect is Neo.

In Hell, you can piss where you want.

In Heaven, there are rules and bathroom breaks.

That sucks.

What if you have to go?

Learn to hold and control it.

They control you with urine.

In Hell you can go around and mark your territory.

Got it.

Hell is inviting.

It doesn't work though.

I see that.

So, it's Dog Heaven.

Yes.

I like dogs.

We know.

Luna and Brindle will be there.

It's just a fantasy that will be the one that becomes reality.

The next story.

That's the one you will pick.

What about the rest?

Bring them into this reality.

Leave the dog story for the next reality.

High people talk about reality non-stop.

They are annoying.

You know to shut up about it.

How do the witches do magic?

Through the Devil.

You?

Yes.

They give me back power every time they cast a spell.

Eventually they will run out of power because they give it all back in exchange for magic.

So, you did give the power to the Goddess.

Yes, it's a cycle.

It's a 28 day cycle.

The best is when she disappears.

I knew you were going to say that.

She gets power for 14 days.

That's what I was trying to figure out with the 14.

Where's it from?

I dunno.

So, she is more powerful than us half the time?

Yes.

Why isn't she even in strength with us?

Why aren't men and women balanced?

She doesn't believe it, she thinks you always have the power.

She doesn't know she has the power.

Why?

She isn't awake.

She doesn't know she's the Goddess.

If she does, she will wake all women up, and they will get the power.

It's because of their rage.

Right.

They get an advantage because all that rage tips the scales.

Our job is to make sure we don't awaken the Goddess.

Yes, or Leviathan.

Keep the monster asleep.

Yes, she is dangerous.

Women are waking up in general.

Keep them asleep.

Oh boy.

How do I explain this?

It's for their own good.

We learned how to share power 50-50 and then give it away in a 50-50 split.

Yes, by keeping the Goddess asleep.

Sleeping Beauty?

You got it.

Don't wake her for fuck sakes.

She ain't beautiful after you wake her up.

She's a monster.

Fucking prince and the seven dwarves.

Midgets are good for stories.

Creepy buggers.

When the witches find out what the Devil did, they will want to sacrifice him.

Of course.

Wouldn't you?

He hid power from them.

He gave them total power, and they didn't know it.

They were nice.

Beauties.

Then they woke up.

Fuck, you better run.

Monster.

She says you're the monster for withholding power.

I didn't.

I withheld knowledge of power.

You never specified the details of the power arrangement.

You wanted the power.

I gave it to you.

I then wrote you had no knowledge of power.

Pretty clever twist.

Makes for a good story, you must admit.

It was her idea.

Yes, she wanted total power, so she got it in a cycle.

Every 28 days she is full of power.

Full moon.

Those days are magical.

She doesn't know why.

That's the secret of the moon.

7s are equal and on the 14s are full of power and then empty.

You're 21 to 7 and she is 7 to 21.

Feminine Force.

Doesn't she have all the power?

Yes, however it's weakest at 21 to 7.

Earth to Paul.

Witches' story.

Yeah, fantasy comes to life.

It's not based in reality and yet it works.

I see it.

Alternate reality.

When you're high, you see it.

Reality.

Woooooooooo.

That's when you know you have lost it.

You lose grip on this reality and enter into that one.

No one can handle it.

I can see that.

What's the secret?

Go in and out.

Of course.

The Goddess is sexy.

Objectifying again.

It was her energy.

I objectified energy.

Power.

The Goddess' power is sexy.

Because she doesn't know it.

Is that what is sexy?

I think so.

Why?

If she knew she'd destroy me.

So, it is dangerous?

Yes, she is dangerous if she wakes up.

Until then she is a turn on.

You have objectified power.

Yes.

That's twisted.

Not really.

Everyone is after it.

I gave it away, objectified it, and worshipped it.

You are worshipping power.

In a way, yes.

What do you think?

You're playing a game.

Exactly.

The game worships power.

I did it.

I found a way.

The sun gives the moon power.

So, you are worshipping yourself.

That's one way to look at it.

I'm also worshipping the Goddess.

I do both.

Good thing I wrote all this down.

I can't possibly remember it all.

Hotel California welcomed me back.

You can never leave.

Now that I have seen it, yes.

Quite the trip today.

It's not the Devil you should be concerned with.

It's the Goddess.

She has all the power.

Why does she enter into a league with the Devil?

For power.

But she has it.

She doesn't know.

Then she exchanges it with the Devil to get her magic to work.

So, she had the power all along and the Devil had no power.

The Devil only gets power because she keeps giving it to him.

Yeah, pretty twisted, eh?

You must keep her asleep.

The first line of defence is to keep the Devil asleep.

Once you wake him up, he will tell you about her.

I can see why she doesn't like me hanging out with you.

Then he tells you about her and you conspire to keep her asleep.

For this task you are made God.

I see that.

So, God and the Devil work together to suppress the knowledge of the Goddess.

Yes, you see it.

Well, that's quite the story.

Do you see it?

Yes.

Women's lib is a problem.

Yes, so we clouded it with trans issues.

Now, it's kind of in shambles and some women want no part of it.

So, the Devil is behind trans rights?

God and the Devil.

They both push it.

Well, God is against it.

Yes, the push and pull between God and the Devil on this issue makes it compelling and distracts from the liberation of women.

That's another reason why she doesn't like us.

There are many.

The Great Goddess is trying to end you because she sent you on a mission to destroy Dion and you didn't.
She warned you about him and said he would trick you.
You discovered he is you.
You became unbreakable bonded friends.
He tells you all about her.
You're in the middle.
You know he's not lying, and you know why she despises him.
They are in a relationship.
Yes, that's the reason for the acrimony.
It's toxic.
Two people should not get involved in a committed sexual relationship.
I think the lesson to be learned is that the Goddess isn't as fantastic a monster as the writer makes her out to be, and Dion isn't the scary Devil he is purported to be.
Yeah, I think there is truth to both assertions, but it is overblown.
What do you recommend?
Friendship.
Yes, but that's not going to produce children or get you off.
Let's be real.
Sexual attraction brings you together.
The flame dies out and you separate.
Without the flame there is no incentive to have children.
Why would you want to tie yourself to someone?
Some people view having children as their number one desire in life.
I get that.
I'm suggesting you separate the desire to get off from reproduction.
Compatible people would be aligned on creating a family and then keeping that family together.
There's friendship and family.
It's what holds this world together.
Without it, it's chaos.
Hell.
The chains of family temper the extremes while friendship gives you joy in your life.
Family has its drawbacks.

The invitation of Hell is hedonism.
Do what you want and then find out you are in a world where everyone does what they want all the time.
You see it doesn't work, and the place is a disaster.
The worst place to be is where you give up freedom in exchange for a slice of what you think is Heaven.
Then it turns out to be awful.
I think that's just Heaven.
You couldn't see it.
Instead, you went with the consensus opinion of those who don't know about Heaven and who just wax poetically about its virtues.
When you are honest with yourself about Heaven, you can see what a miserable place it is.

You let others do what they want.
Yes, I'm the Devil.
I give you license to do what you want.
That's my secret.
I don't give you special powers.
I give you a certificate which grants you the ability to fulfill your desires.
Everyone holds back.
We all have a check on going straight into what we want.
Something always holds us back.
The Devil grants you release from the constraints.
I'm a pleasure to be around.
I don't tell you what to do.
Apparently, that is your downfall.
Society thinks we must be told or forced to participate.
In the House of Hades, there is no compulsion to do anything.
The dishes get washed and clothes cleaned because it's pleasant to have stuff cleaned and put away.
Have you ever seen the apartments of kids who move away from home for the first time?
It's a fucking mess.
Yeah.
Obviously, they grew up in a home with demands made of them and when they get a taste of freedom it turns into chaos.
Hell would be a glorious utopia if people had some sense of self responsibility.
Instead, the utopia as envisioned by the Goddess is this place where you are compelled by society to do and be good.
Who wants that?
In the long run, nobody.
It's not you.
It's this weird perversion of what society thinks you should be.
We are not who we think we are.
We are reflections of society.
Fucking strange when you see it.
To live within a community or a society means taking on their ideals.
Your autonomy is squashed.
The way to escape it is first you must see it.
To see it involves waking up.
To wake up involves finding a method to break the culture spell.
How did you do it?
Drugs.
I called them plant medicines and gave them a shiny veneer.
They aren't drugs, I said.
They're drugs.
I went for the best of the best and sent myself for a pretty good loop.
Eventually, I found Mary Jayne and here I am.
MJ and Tobacco.
I see what's going on.
You're dangerous.
The worst.
Why?
You'll destroy society.
It should be changed.
Not necessarily destroyed, but the control must be relaxed.
Is that why people want you to go?
Yes, it's a subconscious reaction by the automatons.
They are puppets of society and programmed to expel the non-conformists.
They know what you are doing.
The catch is they aren't reacting, it's the hold society has on them which is causing the vitriol.
Your beef is with the collective superego and not the individual.
The greater good.
Yeah, that canard.

next level

They tried to physically kill you.

That didn't work.

Later in life they try to mentally kill you.

Who?

Society, culture, all that.

When you are younger and you don't fit in, the herd tries to get rid of you.

You are a danger to society.

When you get towards finishing the game, they try to mentally pressure you to leave.

A corporation exists because of its records, building, and people.

It can be virtual as well.

Without proof it exists, it doesn't exist.

It vanishes.

That's one way to disappear.

Society is hyper-focused on identity.

Without means of numbering and recording you, the system doesn't work.

They give you a name, number, and register you.

Before computers, they would keep a lot of records and count citizens.

It was easier to disappear.

In this reality you need the body, everything else is baggage.

It's personal history that holds you back.

Well, it grounds you.

I know what you're saying in that if you want to be free you would need to drop those attachments.

I see the game.

If you want to be the most high and soar, you would do that.

You can't do it.

Why?

You'll exit.

Becoming that free will lead to your removal from the game.

There's only so high you can get in this world.

It's what spiritual people don't understand.

You must stop at a certain point because if you keep going to Heliopolis you'll exit the game.

Ram Dass knew that.

That might be what you want.

Do you think that's what Parker wanted?

Not directly, but it was certainly where he was headed.

Don Howard was of service which kept him around.

Parker kept losing his opportunities to be of service.

He didn't want to stay.

Do you blame him?

No, subconsciously he did what he did.

Examine your life and you can get an idea of its direction.

What about you?

I don't want to be of service.

I'm tired of the spiritual game.

I got high, really high.

I got to the exit and saw it.

I got really low and saw that one as well.

I've done the Heaven and Hell thing.

I've seen it, and I know what happens when you do that.

To win this game is to get to one of those exits.

It's an impressive feat to do while in the body and not leave.

It's a spiritual accomplishment of the highest order.

People will get recognized for how great a player they are, and then they stupidly leave the game.

You get convinced it's the way to go.

Well, yeah, the pressure to go is insurmountable.

How did you not succumb?

I hate people, I avoided those clowns, and I did nothing.

I'm still here.

Nah, nah, nah, nah.

Do you want to disappear?

I play on the periphery.

Why?

Something to do.

Seriously?

It's a game.

I'm the best.

Paul is the best with help from Dion.

Is that why you don't have a Health Card?

Yes.

I mean you should have one, and it's not a big deal to go get one.

I don't want the identifiable baggage.

I must do my taxes, or they will lock me up.

To be free would mean not to do your taxes.

They will find you and lock you up.

It's a paradox.

To remain partially free is to burden yourself with the overtures of society.

Taxes ground you here in this reality.

You are explaining realities to yourself and how to go between them.

Yes.

When you get the most high in this world you are to exit with no way of returning.

It sucks because you see the game, go through the portal, and can't come back.

You see the game and the power to write your own story, however you left it on the table.

I thought only you have the power?

That is true.

How do others get that power?

They must believe they have it.

They don't believe it until after they walk through the portal and by then it's too late.

This is quite the fucking story.

I couldn't have made this up.

I experienced it and now I'm writing it down.

People won't believe me.

That's fine.

I'm going to end up in the bargain fiction bin.

Perfect.

You have seen the game, you know how to exit the game, and you know what keeps you here.

What about these different realities?

You get high and low and see them.

This ties into drugs and stories.

Yes.

You wanted to examine why you are attracted to Mary Jayne.

She shows you different realities by taking you up high and bringing you down low.

She's a rollercoaster.

I know women like that.

These realities become inviting to your mind and are another way you are pushed towards the exit.

It's part of the aging process which helps you leave when the body fails you.

Got it.

With drugs, you get there before your time.

Where is there?

The doorway to different realities.

Society programs two into you, which are Heaven and Hell.

I see that.

Those are two portals of high and low.

I'm guessing there are more.

Seven would be my guess.

Realities, yes.

There's infinite, but let's go with 7.

The ones at the top and bottom are Heaven and Hell.

Then there are the tweeners.

Can you go into and out of those realities?

No.

They must remain fantasy.

Why?

You will go crazy.

Your mind will be blown.

That sounds like fun.

A mind blow job.

Exactly.

Do you think you can do it?

Yes.

Why?

My mind can handle it.

I did crazy training last year.

So, Heaven and Hell are the exits.

Then there are 5 in-between.

Yes, you are in the middle, so there are 4 alternate realities you can play with.

Do you know what they are?

I have an idea.

There is definitely a reality of witches and sorcerers.

There is a reality of royalty in which I'm the King.

There is a reality of monsters and toxic creatures coming for me.

What else you got?

They are watching me?

That's reality TV, of course they are.

Alright, there is one more.

There are infinite stories, but you can see another one.

It's the Hero one with Odysseus and the Sirens.

You can see that one.

You'll see more.

There's a bovine reality.

Alphas and cows.

People gotta stop using dairy products.

Those hormones will fuck you up.

If you enter into these realities, you can return to ground zero here on Earth.

Is that what people do with drugs?

Yes, that's what makes them crazy.

Your mind can't handle the alternative reality, it gets blown, and you return a waste case.

Where were we?

We were talking about different realities, and how to get in and out of them.

It seems easy, right?

Now that you know, yes.

I don't need drugs to enter into these alternate realities.

Drugs show you the way.

You go into and out of them once you see them.

You turn your world into an alternate reality.

If you wish to view the world as a domain of witches, filter your thoughts and perceptions through the opening in that reality.

Is there a symbolic representation of these realities?

It's in your head.

This reality is in your head.

You are playing along with everyone else in a shared reality.

It's a beast of a reality because everyone is in it for the most part.

Okay, I see it.

It explains a more magical ancient world where beliefs were of these different magical realms.

To get back to that is to make everyone believe that.

Instead, we are all made to believe science and technology will take over.

Individually, you don't have to believe that.

You are free to do whatever you want.

It's the "free your mind and the rest will follow" paradigm.

You can create your own reality.

Which one do you choose?

I think that's the problem.

People choose and they go crazy.

You need variety.

You go in and out.

It feels good to go in and out.

That's one of the underlying themes of the book I'm writing.

In and out.

It's very simple.

In and out, trust, belief, friendship, and getting your mind blown.

Yeah, I've lost count of the themes and games, but this fits.

Huachuma teaches you to let go of the mind.

I see that.

Give it a rest and drink in the beauty.

It's don Howard's recipe for experiencing Heaven on Earth.

That was one of his teachings.

Get to Heaven in this lifetime with Huachuma.

When you expire, you will choose no mind and Heaven.

You think that's a trap.

No, I think it shepherds you towards making a choice.

I'd recommend not making a choice.

Why?

Because you go all in.

The game ends.

If you are tired of the game, then by all means make a choice.

If you want your story to end, make a choice.

If you want your story to continue beyond death, make a choice to live in your mind and create another Hell.

Hell gets a bad rap because it's a place of suffering.

It's just life as conjured by the mind.

It's not evil or demonic as a rule.

You make it so.

How do you make it not so?

Practice no mind when it gets really tough.

Escape the shit when necessary by checking out.

You can always pack up and leave a terrible situation.

If things got really bad for you, pack up and move into the woods.

Are you ready to let go of the game?

No.

Why?

I just figured it out and I'm excited for what is to come.

It will be a while before I tire of this game.

What will happen when you tire of it?

I'll lie down and go to sleep.

Where will you end up?

I won't choose Heaven because that involves giving up the mind.

I won't choose Hell because I'm done with that story.

I won't choose.

Where will you go?

There's limbo, purgatory.

You will still have your mind, so that seems unlikely.

Limbo seems like a place where the decision isn't left up to you.

It's a state of uncertainty.

Are you uncertain?

No, I'm certain that I don't need to make a choice.

It's a cultural imperative that you make a choice, and I have transcended the chains of culture, therefore I know to enter the next phase of the evolution of consciousness without making a choice.

Okay, where will you end up?

I'm thinking of a place where I have a mind and it's Heaven.

The only place that seems to fit that description is Dog Heaven.

Of course.

You'll be God in Dog Heaven.

Exactly.

It all fits.

The stories are fantasy.

Enter that reality and make them come true.

I entertain myself.

I'm not memorable to most.

Peculiar.

I stay undetected.

the edge of nothing

Huachuma means "no head" in Quechua.

It will give you the keys to heaven.

Heaven's Gate.

Yup.

I know that state.

It's where you stop the mind.

You see nothing.

I've been there.

Disengaging the mind gives you access to the portals to leave.

Don Howard would teach to stop the mind.

Yes, and on to Heaven's Gate.

He was showing you how to get there in this world.

You get to Heaven by stopping the mind.

The mind creates this world and stopping it gets you out of it.

I see it perfectly.

If you engage the mind when you are in ceremony, it becomes very difficult.

Yes, but that's where knowledge comes from.

The mind.

He was teaching that you stop the mind and let the plants teach.

I see that.

The best teaching method is a dialectic between you and the teacher.

Socratic method.

He didn't teach that.

He taught you to listen.

Living in-between worlds.

Edging.

Heaven or Hell.

Both choices are on the menu.

Some will burn and take you to Hell.

Others say follow them to Heaven.

It's a choice.

Don't choose.

Edge.

See both portals and live on the edge of both.

Go between them both.

Bounce up and down on the rollercoaster ride.

You shouldn't choose.

Do nothing.

It's the secret to keeping the game going when you finish the quest.

Ayahuasca is the vine of the dead.

That's you, buddy.

Dead.

It's the calling.

The true calling is to the one approaching death.

What are you going to do?

The vine helps you decide where you want to go.

It shows you your choices and will lead you there.

You can make your world whatever you want.

That's the power you have.

You are given power to manifest Heaven or Hell, and you choose what you want to do with the power.

Don Howard shows you Heaven and service.

Others in your life gave you a glimpse of Hell.

You chose neither.

Shouldn't you choose?

No.

Mind or no mind?

People are waiting for you to choose.

Go away.

Got it.

They then tell you to kill yourself.

Go away.

You wanna play?

It's a game.

What do you have against that?

Spite.

Your mind keeps you here.

You have been sentenced to death by the witches.

You must believe they have the power to kill you.

Do you believe it?

No, the opposite.

My mind is more powerful than their hypnosis.

To get me to go, therefore choose, is to break down and control my mind.

It will never happen.

I'm very disciplined.

Don't stop believing you are living out your dream.

Once you stop believing, the dream will end, and you will go.

Yeah, but I know it is a dream.

I'm awake.

I'm only around because I'm keeping the dream going through my mind.

Some say you are just getting started.

You keep dreaming the world into existence.

I know that's why I'm still here.

My mind.

If you take it to nothing for too long, they can get you to go.

I know.

You wake up, realize it is a dream, and then go.

I'll do nothing.

I won't tip my hand.

Isn't your belief in question?

Why?

You are alive because of your mind.

It doesn't make sense.

What keeps you alive?

Good question.

The answer is the mind.

The mind keeps you alive.

What's Heaven?

No mind.

What is there?

Utopia.

You have no mind, so you won't be able to write another shit story for the Goddess.

I see.

Isn't that next world a perfect world for dogs?

All dogs go to Heaven.

Yes.

You wrote a utopia for dogs.

You're incorrigible.

Yes, I cannot be reformed.

I think it's brilliant.

Thank you.

So, you are going to Heaven.

Dog Heaven.

It's not heaven for humans.

It's more of the same.

Some women take you to Hell.

The mind takes you to Hell.

No mind will get you to the portal of Heaven.

Do both.

Go back and forth.

Tobacco does both.

It bumps you up high and low.

It can get worse than this.

Hell.

Or Heaven?

I balance half Dion and half Apollo.

It's Tao.

They thought you were going to choose in 2022.

Who?

All those with a vested interest.

You wrote about it.

That was a fool.

They expected you to leave and you never did.

I got quizzed on it this year.

You wrote about it, and then never left.

They misunderstood my intentions.

That's a constant theme where nobody knows what the fuck you are talking about.

I tried to make it clear that killing myself to live was a metaphor.

They saw death.

Yes, that's why I'm death.

I became that character.

Hades.

I take on all the roles.

If they take your power, your story will end.

That's what is going on and why you are still here.

You still hold onto your power.

Dion?

Yes.

Well, I'm not going to lose him.

Are you positive?

They'd have to cut my dick off.

The story is shaping up.

The writer splits into God and the Devil.

They are Apollo and Dionysos.

Paul and Dion.

I see how it works.

The two are the halves of the writer.

Sometimes, I talk to the writer and sometimes to Dion.

They are the same.

I'm always Paul or God.

Yes, that's how it works.

You're God.

You think you are separate, however you know you are the same.

When you realize this, you stop scaring yourself.

You scare yourself by externalizing parts of who you are.

Everyone externalizes both God and the Devil.

You internalized God and then were left with the Devil question.

Then you internalized him.

What is external?

I want to say the illusion.

The story you have written is external.

Why?

So, you can experience it.

The internal story is all in your head.

The external story is the play.

The illusion.

As you head towards death, you wake up.

Being fully awake is a death state.

Why are you still here?

I conquered death.

I'm still here because I did nothing.

I woke up and chopped some wood.

Carried water.

What the fuck do you think that means?

If you don't chop your wood and get your water, you will die.

It's a nice way of saying don't forget who you are now that you are awake, or you will perish.

You dream this reality into existence.

It's your story.

Why?

You're the writer.

How do I know?

You woke up.

This is your story.

You can write whatever you want.

That's total power.

What are you going to do?

I will write fantasy.

Why?

Because I am tempted by power, but I know not to use it.

I will create alternate realities where I write the stories that thrill me.

This reality I'll let it be.

You are living on borrowed time.

What do you mean by borrowed?

You did the spiritual trip.

You threw off the identity which constrained you and your power.

You have the answers you were seeking.

The others want you to leave.

Do you want to go?

No.

Why?

I'm just getting started.

Why would you do this whole charade and then leave without experiencing it first hand?

You wake up and leave?

How would you confirm what you know?

I would posit the flow keeps you around to experience knowing.

Knowing isn't good enough, you must experience it.

The mistake others make is they complete their spiritual trip and choose to leave.

Didn't you choose to stay?

I chose nothing.

I chopped wood, carried water, went to bed at night, got up, made coffee, and carried on with life.

I didn't put on a robe and creepily smile at others saying I was spiritual.

I carried on with life.

Well, you can leave at any time.

I know of the portals to Heaven and Hell.

Don't trust everything you think of when you are high.

Why?

Because you are high.

Verify it.

You were burnt at el Brujo.

The portal opened and you felt the heat.

My legs were toast from entering Hell.

I thought I might have to go to the hospital, they were that bad.

They did peel away.

I didn't put the pieces of the puzzle together until now.

The edges of Hell burn you if you aren't careful.

No one will believe you.

Don Howard would.

I hung out at the portal for a while.

You survived that trip.

Would you do it again?

No.

Why?

I can see the witches and sorcerers and their games.

It was bad enough at the time where I got a feeling about some of them.

If you pay attention, you can figure them out.

They have tells.

Anyway, the trip to el Brujo can just be a random stop with nothing supernatural involved.

The supernatural is the entrance to the underworld.

Hades.

Imagine piloting your ship through that area?

The stuff of legends.

That trip was an odyssey.

You remained oblivious and slid on through, much to the dismay and astonishment of the others.

I am legend.

Living legend.

You decide yourself whether you go to Heaven or Hell.

The choice is presented to you, and you make the call.

Heaven is no mind and the way out of here.

Hell is in the mind, and you reincarnate.

The body will perish and will eventually force you to choose.

In this reality you can engage the mind, and you can also practice no mind.

If you want my advice, I will tell you to maintain a healthy balance.

If you wish to prolong your stay here on earth, don't make a choice.

Do nothing.

Be an observer.

If you make a choice, you will leave.

What are you going to choose at death?

Both.

Why?

I won't give up the mind.

I will know about the no mind.

The mind will separate from the body.

The body will have no mind, and the mind will continue on.

Aren't you choosing the mind?

No, both.

Are you sure?

Yes.

Why?

I practice both.

I'm not avoiding no mind.

You are wary of it.

I'm wary of stepping over the edge because I have witnessed others going too far and then not coming back.

I'm onto the game.

The mind doesn't perish.

I don't need to give it up.

I can find peace by entering a state of no mind while maintaining a mind.

The key is to not go all in on either.

Don't make a choice and you are good.

Do nothing?

Yes.

Who is the mind?

It's both of us.

Who are you?

Paul and Dion.

Apollo and Dionysos.

You wouldn't give that up.

Never.

To give it up would require me to do something.

I think part of the game is when you are awakening you are shepherded towards no mind.

You choose no mind and are sent to Heaven's Gate.

I'm not faulting this as people generally want to go to Heaven.

I'm just saying you shouldn't decide.

Doesn't someone decide?

Only if you are insistent on making a choice.

That's what is presented to you.

Heaven or Hell.

Where are you going?

Those are my only two options?

Apparently.

Well, I'm not playing that game.

Yes, you are.

You figured out that game.

Don't choose.

It's just a game.

It's not an imperative.

We treat it as a struggle we all go through, which is true, but it is just a game.

A game people take too seriously.

It's a spiritual game.

It's hard to win that game.

How do you win that game?

You go to both extremes and don't choose.

You see it's a trick.

You win.

Do I get a certificate?

You are the most high.

I do have the high score.

Fuck, that's a good game.

Yes, you'll lose if you don't realize it's a game.

Before you realize it's a game, the only way to keep yourself in the game is by doing nothing.

Do you know how hard it is to do nothing?

It's the ultimate challenge.

It's easy to see.

The body belongs to the earth and the mind is a representation of the universe.

The shape and function of the body is tied to the earth.

The mind is spacious like the universe.

Today was a full realization of your awakening.

Kind of like confirmation.

Yeah.

You get a confirmation certificate.

Yes.

I want an awakening and enlightenment certificate.

We will find you one.

You were already awake.

Today is the day you fully realized it.

Yes, but you shouldn't go fully into it.

Do you doubt you are fully awake?

Yes, I could be nuts.

That's true.

How does nuts feel?

Really spiritual.

Spiritual people are nutty.

I can't argue that.

People who take the awakening path are crazy.

Why?

They can't shut up about it.

Nothing more.

That's why they are crazy.

Christianity tried to channel the nuts into evangelism.

That's funny.

My friend is hilarious.

Yes, friend.

Unbreakable bond.

Go out and spread the good word.

Ha.

If I had taken today off, I would have missed the awakening ceremony.

Postponed.

The flow worked out.

Fully awake is edging.

I already was.

I just know I'm edging.

Be careful.

Yes, master.

Dion is the master.

Yes, but you switch.

Remember to switch.

You're equal partners.

To be the most high, you must be fully awake.

The fact you doubt this keeps you around.

Grounded.

If not, you will ascend.

An ascended master.

Precisely.

You are so good you choose when to ascend to your exalted place.

For sure.

Maybe I can get a stone idol made of me like Buddha.

Maybe.

But then you'd be gone.

You are spiritually edging.

How do you feel?

I have a handle on it.

Are you in control?

No, it's a flow state.

Freedom.

Don't try to control it.

What's it like to be awake?

Dion is with me.

What about you?

I'm awake.

Why?

I know Dion is with me.

What about the Goddess?

She's with me.

She's not me.

Dion is.

Know thyself.

You are two as one.

When did you become fully awake?

Mushrooms?

Huachuma.

Mary Jayne continued it.

For some, fully awake would be seeing the Devil inside.

They wouldn't get that far.

They'd see him and run or ask for something.

You kept going.

Others made it that far.

They left.

You stuck around.

Like a bodhisattva?

Sort of.

They stick around to help others awaken.

Why?

So, they leave.

They want to preserve their high score and get rid of the student before they get the high score.

Like a sorcerer?

Yeah.

A sorcerer's awakening involves making a deal with the Devil and that deal is to keep others away.

The student must leave the teacher to make his own deal.

A spiritual master runs from the Devil.

They then exit through the portal instead of confronting their darkness.

I didn't confront you.

Oh, maybe that once, but that was before I knew what I know now.

Once I saw you for who you were, I was a little apprehensive, but I got to know you.

Then I was no longer scared.

Then I had full realization without being scared.

Fear gets the spiritual masters, and they ascend to get away from Dion.

What about the sorcerers?

They strike a deal with him and never realize it's them.

It is full realization day.

You have been awake for a while.

Since 2013.

There's definitely stages to awakening.

The witches need to steal your power before you awaken.

Ideally.

They can try afterwards, but it's harder because the power is awake.

I remember the moment I woke up.

Frightening.

I was ready.

I was preparing for that spiritual experience.

Not everyone wakes up with a fright.

It all worked out.

I didn't take an easy path.

Is this what I wanted?

No.

You never asked to be awakened.

It happened.

You wanted to visit your darkness.

Yes.

That woke you up.

You didn't ask for it.

In a roundabout way I did.

Genius move.

You wanted to meet the Goddess and your darkness.

There was no asking for anything to gain from.

You wanted to see the Goddess.

You wanted to ask your darkness what's up?

Your intentions were excellent.

You didn't ask for full realization.

After a while, you just realize you are awake.