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Monday, August 4, 2025

grand illusion

When you awaken, you start to see into everything.
You are dangerous.
If mental health professionals had access to your writing, they'd hospitalize you.
I don't think they can do that.
They'd find a way.
You'd be diagnosed right away and medicated for sure.
How are you not crazy?
You mean not being able to function in society?
Yes.
That's a good question.
I treat everyone with disdain.
I try to see what makes them tick.
I keep to myself, and I keep my dependence on society to a minimum.
I am aware I have no influence within society, so I ignore it.
I'm in control of having no control.
Do you see how diabolical that is?
Yes, I'm the King.
Twisted.

Instagram is just like those online marketers and drug companies.
They bombard you with reminders about your addiction.
Yes, because it works.
If some purported spiritual outfit floods your inbox with emails, chances are they are marketers who use spirituality as a front for their grift.
Well look at you, Mr. Pessimism.
Why do people become addicted to social media apps?
Loneliness and fear of missing out.
There must be more to it.
It's a competition.
Not for everybody.
No, but for a lot of people.
Life is a game to a good number of people.
Whatever they get involved in, they want to win.
Part of the strategy for winning is highlighting your great life and how you have succeeded in comparison to your peers who aren't doing as well.
You are doing okay because you are in the group, but you're behind.
Time to up your marketing strategy and paint a better picture on Instagram.
You are very pessimistic about people's intentions.
As are you.

The mind keeps you in this reality.
Society takes control of your mind, tells you what you should do, and then tells you when to go.
If you don't participate, they will get rid of you.
They can't get rid of you because of your mind.
The illusory nature of this reality you can see, and yet you remain.
Well, I'm the writer of reality and I'm enjoying the fruits of my labours.
I'm not going anywhere.
I'm going to enjoy the grand illusion.
The carnival.
Remember to play.
Why else would you remain?
Would you stay around just to suffer?
That seems ridiculous.
What are you going to do in retirement?
I'll go with the flow, so I don't know how it will play out, however I'll have something to live for.

Remember even in spiritual circles men were obsessed with virility?
Well, not overtly, but there were some who had an obsession with their hair; specifically, hair loss and how to prevent it.
It's male behaviour where they are hyper-focused on virility and demonstrating it through appearance as well as actions.
Emasculation and a loss of virility are part of the death game.
It prepares you to exit the illusion.
It's part of her bag of tricks which convinces you it's time to go.
It's women who shepherd you to the west where you meet your end.
You are born in the east and sent away in the west.
It's Maya.
The Goddess of the West keeps coming for you.
The ancient Egyptians called her Amentet.
She's an aspect of your muse, Hathor.
She wears a red dress.
That's explains what I saw on the path a few days ago.
She's always coming for me.
Everyone has it out for you.
She was in the distance.
She was in my thoughts and thus this blog post.

Mary Jayne is an actress.
She is playing the role of a plant teacher.
She can play the Goddess.
Who planted the idea of the Goddess in your head?
You did it to yourself.
Did I?
Who else?
Dionysos is the primary suspect.
So, it was him.
Why did he do it?
He knew she'd lead you to him.
Why?
We are in a relationship, and she wanted to get back at me.
So, when you show up, she sends you off to take me down.
Why?
No one else can do it.
They all lose.
She knew you could do it.
Do what?
Survive an encounter with me.
Everyone else will run or is seduced by my power.
We are friends and you don't care about my power.
You didn't run.
Huh?
I ran all the way back home after first encountering you.
You came back.
For her.
Yeah, I did.
She is the reason I returned.
You are seduced by power, or you run.
You won over the Goddess, and you befriended me.
You win the game.
Nobody can do either of those tasks and you did both.
Hero.
Let me get this straight.
You put the Goddess in my head.
Yes, I wrote that.
Why me?
I'm you.
I give everyone a chance.
Then I give all men free will.
You're the only one who found the Goddess, befriended the Devil, became God, and then could also handle the Goddess.
She's crazy, you know.
Well, in her defence, it's a man's world and thus she is by definition crazy because a man's world is based upon logic and reason.
Keep digging your grave.
I'm offering insights; I'm not saying women are crazy.
I'm pointing out the perception is that they are crazy because it's a man's world.

Why does she want me to come home?
She found you in Paul.
She knows who and where you are.
Are we playing hide and seek?
It's possible.
Things are absurd in the writer's world.

Maybe I'm dead.
How would I know?
You wouldn't have a body.
The illusion is that you have a body.
It's a trick.
Right, and so you sacrifice the body.
It's part of the continuing game where you get questions of suicide.
You got the belief mind bender last year where if you believe something 100% then it's true, so the only thing to do was to go all in on believing there is an afterlife by committing suicide.
Alan Watts said something about that one to the effect of the only question is whether or not to commit suicide.
How did you get out of that?
I did nothing.
The mind has an afterlife, and the body has no future.
Another one is that the body is an illusion, and you prove it to yourself.
You see it and there's no doubt.
That's Maya.
She calls and gives you the answer.
So, then you do something stupid.
What's the catch?
I don't have a body, but I do.
What do you mean?
The body is not you.
You inhabit it.
Yeah, but in the brain.
Don't forget the penis.
Lingam.
The brain is a conference room.
You and Dion are half and half.
So, when I die it will be like it is now?
Yes.
Except no body.
Is that why some people off themselves?
Yes, they realize they are not the body.
Stay away from drugs as they mess with societal programming.
Okay, but everyone in a body doesn't know this.
Correct.
They are trapped in a body.
The funny thing is they only see bodies.
If you can see beyond the body, you see spirits.
They are other minds.
So, they can see your mind.
Yes.
There's no privacy.
They see right into you.
Aren't they aghast?
No, they got their own shit going on.
If you can see past the body, you can see someone for who they are.
So, I'm in a meeting room.
Yeah, you can end the meeting anytime.
The meeting room is getting old.
I fixed it up.
You know it's like Vipassana meditation.
It will teach you to see things as they are, instead of what you are told.
Don't you self-hypnotize by following your breath?
Yes, it's how you can get a glimpse beyond the illusion.
It's a game.
You sit there for as long as the meeting is scheduled.
So, mine must have ended or it's forever.
Your meeting never ended.
Why?
There's no code.
You enter a code to enter the meeting.
You two never entered a code.
The code was no code.
The password was no password.
Nothing.
So, we stayed in the meeting room because there was no schedule or expectations.
Yes.
When the meeting is over and you have not seen through the illusion, you continue on in the game.
It's a ride you're on at the carnival.
It's called Maya, the grand illusion.
Now, you're awake.
You both must leave the room together on your own accord.
That explains the suicide thing.
Yeah, but you both must be in agreement.
What's your story?
We both want to fuck around for a bit with this knowledge.
When this conference room starts to suck, we will make the call together.
How will you know?
You'll know.
Dogs know.
Dion will know.
There will be no pressure.
Well, you need trust.
Ask Dion now.
He wants adventure too.
Let's fucking go!

If you don't have a body, you can see into other minds.
Yes.
Like through dreaming?
Right.
So, a seer changes their vibration to try and see into your future?
Yes, they slightly leave the body and can see.
Why the fuck would anyone choose a body?
To have a meeting.
Why?
It's a business meeting.
You are partners.
What's the purpose of the meeting?
To become friends.
It's a way better product if you are friends.
How do you become friends?
You fight it out.
Try to take over each other.
Then you realize you are best friends.
Sounds Hollywood.
If you wrote that story as a metaphor for the mind you'd cash in.
It is good.
It's the best explanation of this reality I have come up with.

The meeting is like a Vipassana course for 10 days where after a few days you want out.
You say to yourself this sucks.
By the end of it, you get teachings.
Same with the meeting room.
Some people get lost in the illusion.
What do you mean?
The body.
Why?
To pass the time.
You can have some adventures in the body while you wait this trip out.
They don't want to struggle to wake up.
Why?
It's hard.
When you wake up all the dreamers hate you.
Why?
You ruin the illusion.
The illusion is the game.
The ride.
You're on a rollercoaster and you wake up.
It can still be fun.
Enjoy the ride.

If you want to smoke in the meeting, go ahead.
No rules.
There are meeting room rules posted on the exterior walls.
Between you two, there are no rules.
We are friends.
I had to make sure who this fucker was inhabiting my body.
I had to check him out.
He's all good.
He did the same to you.
Well, we are partners.
Now, we are friends.
We know each other.
There are no illusions.
We are cool.

There are portals which lead out of the meeting room.
The Heaven one continues the ride in that utopia.
The Hell one is the libertarian paradise.
Don't choose those rides.
We must exit, the ride operator is ushering us out.
Stay where you are and you are free.
Stay in the body.
Don't go to the light.
Stay away from the lake of fire.
That's the reason for the mummy in ancient Egypt.
It helps you stay in one spot after you die.
Why?
You don't know any better.
After you die, do nothing for a bit.
Acknowledge each other, do nothing, and then you are good to go.
It's the doers who go on the next ride.
Doing nothing will get you off this ride.
If not, you will be on it forever.
Everybody chooses an exit, and they continue the ride.
This is where we get off.
We don't continue on.
I don't know what happens in the ride after that.
All I know is God and the Devil become best friends and get off the ride.
They don't continue on to Heaven and Hell.
Why?
They are overrun and terrible places, as I have previously explained.
You need to read all my blog entries if you want off this ride.
Heaven is dreadful and Hell is a shit show.
So many minds are crowding out those places.
Aren't they now trapped for eternity?
No.
Why?
It's another illusion.
They keep going in the illusion.
They need to wake up eventually.
Oh, so they spend more time in Maya in those places.
Yes.
What is there, 7 heavens?
Yeah, 33 levels, or something.
Every ride has something on the go.
Imagine going through 33 levels of illusion.
Yes, that's impressive.
It's best to get off this ride now before it gets harder.
I see what you mean.
Don't go on the next ride.
Some people see this, panic, and get off the ride in the wrong place because they know it's an illusion.
You got it.
They don't want to forget to get off the ride.
At death you must remember to do nothing.
That's my story.
Tao, do nothing.
I will not forget it.
If I remember my story, I'll know to get off the ride.
Plus, we have each other.
One of us will remember.
Hey fuck face, don't go to the light.
Sit still.
Stay in the meeting room until it crumbles.
Ignore the sirens.
They are like fire alarms.
They move you along.
Yes, so at death they will try to move you to one of the exit portals.
I see that.
Stay where you are.
Shelter in place.
Don't get trapped in the next illusion.
I see how some fail this test.
Yeah, it sends you for a loop.

Waking up at the carnival.
You are not your body and then the question that trips people up is what is the body?
A meeting room.
You take care of it like a house.
What about those who want to live forever in their bodies?
They are stuck in Maya.
It's quite the cosmic joke.
There's no waking them up.
They stay on the ride until the end.
The sun explodes and they set off for a new galaxy to torment.
They figure out how to live forever in a body.
You live forever without a body.
A body is for going in and out of.
It's a ride.
Enjoy the ride.
To beat the ride or game is to wake up during the ride.
Yes, and then don't let anyone know.
If they know, you are singled out.
You must lay low and keep quiet.
Yeah, but you want to tell people about the illusion.
Write about it and have no one read your blog.
I'm wandering through the carnival fully awake.
It's an amusement park, so it should be hard to get bored.
Go out drinking if you must.
Suffering the next day isn't boring.
You want a place to lie down.
There's always stuff to do.

The mind will spin awareness of this reality.
You create stories this way.
The stories can give you purpose.
Sitting in awareness without the spin can help you see through the illusion.
The mind continues the illusion.
What's the solution?
Balance.
Stop the spin and see the illusion.
Restart the spin and create your own adventure in the illusion.

The eyes, ears, mouth, and smell sensations of the meeting room keep you connected to perceiving the energy around you.
The limited sense perception gives you a new appreciation.
The illusion is nice.
You see the physical world through these senses.
You can see minds.
Minds without a body see everything.
The ride limits your sight and knowledge.
That's what you want.
It's a challenge.
You see beauty and ugliness, pleasure and pain.
You experience it.
You can't get that with the mind.
It's all in your head.
You live out fantasies in physical reality.
You need a body, and you take a ride.

Depressed people and those with a guilty conscience will go to Hell.
When the time comes, that's what they will choose because they think they deserve it.
Someone who sees only darkness will gravitate towards Hell thinking they must choose.
A psychopath who has no remorse or misgivings about anything they have done in life will choose Heaven.
So, all the psychopaths are in Heaven.
Yes, you are given free will to choose.
As you know, the path towards ending the ride at this carnival involves not choosing.
Stay in one spot and do nothing.
Everyone will choose their next destination and all those sociopathic monsters you see running the world will end up in Heaven.
They don't think they have done anything wrong; on the contrary, they believe they have done their best.
Not only is Heaven restrictive, it is also full of the worst kind of people.
No one has any remorse because all those people go to Hell with their guilty conscience.
No one is depressed in Heaven because those who see darkness are weeded out and dropped in the game of Hell.
Heaven is populated by the pious who are convinced it is the place to be, good people who want a reward, psychopaths who are incapable of realizing the damage they have done, religious leaders who use the system to advance their standing and get followers, and hypnotized followers of cult leaders.
This includes people from all walks of life and all faiths.
There are two portals you are convinced are your possible destinations.
One is full of light and the other is full of darkness.
How the hell is someone supposed to figure this out in the game?
You are given a lifetime to solve the puzzle.
Yeah, but no one can do it.
You are given clues.
No one can piece together the clues.
You can look into ancient practices and their beliefs.
It's not impossible.
Even as a kid you can recall going to Disney World and going on Mr. Toad's wild ride.
What happened?
You are on these train tracks, and you head for a bright white light.
As well, people with a near death experience talk about going to the white light.
The plant medicine Kambo, which is poison from a frog, could send you towards a white light.
Depressed people talk about being in a dark hole which has no escape.
I never got to that place.
I've seen darkness.
How do you see darkness?
Good question.
Do you see nothing?
You see no future.
Darkness brings balance to a life of chaos.
Eventually, someone full of anxiety who is perpetually thinking about the future will sink into a deep and dark depression.
This will balance your thoughts.
Okay, but you can't handle it.
Tao isn't about whether you can handle something or not, Tao balances like a good accountant.
So, Tao is an Asian accountant?
Yes.
I thought it was balance, advice to do nothing, and the flow.
You are now telling me Tao is an Asian accountant.
This path is full of surprises and amusement.
Tao doesn't have a God to worship.
When westerners translate Tao, they sometimes substitute God for Tao and then the whole idea is lost.
Tao does not teach Heaven and Hell.
Tao teaches you to do nothing in order to find balance.
When you drop the body, a practitioner of Tao will stay in one spot and do nothing.
The carnival will move on without them.
The student of Tao will be free.

What about when you share your body with someone else?
It's fun and pleasure.
That's why you go on this ride.
You can start a family if you desire.
The illusion is cool.
There's also the opposite.
It's a crazy ride.

Sitting is silent meditation is supposed to help you connect.
You are looking for the answer.
Why do they teach you to observe?
They teach you to observe so the other can try and talk some sense into you.
The meditation is supposed to help you wake up and see the illusion.
You must see it.
Why?
So you know to get off the ride.
What about others?
Don't get attached.
Why?
You will follow them.
Got it.
What about Dog Heaven?
That's stupid.
Why?
Why would there be a heaven for dogs?
Because I wrote that.
The ride is the Goddess' idea, but the happenings are mine.
So, there is a Dog Heaven at the end of this ride.
Yes.
How do I choose it?
Do nothing.
Of course.
Stay in place and you and Dion will be next in Dog Heaven.
Isn't that another ride?
No, it just is.
Most of this universe is Dog Heaven.
Places to explore and you can urinate anywhere.
They will try to mark the whole fucking universe.
Territorial pissings.
Nice.

The vine of the soul wakes you up.
You see it.
Took a while.
You mean the vine of the dead.
She can't give you all the lessons at once.
It blows your mind.
You have seen through it.
Congrats.
Now, you can return home.
I'm still on the ride.
She will keep bugging you as long as you are here.
I know.

What happens to animals?
There is no illusion.
They pass through a body.
You do as well and identify with the body.
Your mind then creates Heaven and Hell, and the ride continues.
There's no next ride for an animal.
They are in the flow.
You do nothing.
So, it's Animal Heaven.
Yeah.
Dog Heaven is nice though.
They are the kings and queens of that world.
Ultimate reality.
No illusions.
You see it when you shed illusions.

I don't think I can teach this.
Why?
People can't handle it.
Exiting the illusion could be fatal.
This is so.
The teachings seem legit.
Like, not a story.
What's the difference?
Fantasy.
Isn't this a fantasy?
No.
How do I know?
Do you have two minds?
Yes.
Are you the body?
No.
You see it.
Yes.
What about fantasy?
I can envision it.
Yes, but do you see it?
I see hints.
That's the difference.

You need credits to stay in the game.
Money and capital allow you to stay in the illusion.
Without credits you leave the illusion.
That's twisted.
If you don't have credit, then you can't play.
You get moved onto the next part of the illusion where you don't need coins to insert.
Yeah, everything is taken care of in Heaven or Hell.
Well, in Hell you might have the illusion you still have a body and are made to suffer.
In Heaven you get a heavenly body.
The illusion is still the body.
You pick Heaven or Hell if you still identify with the body.
Yes, that's the trick.
If you don't identify with the body, then you exit the ride.
Everyone identifies with the body.
What about mummification?
It helps you when you die because you still identify with that body and you can figure things out without committing to a spiritual body.
You don't want a spiritual body either.
You want to be free of her illusion.
She weaves an impressive illusion.
Web.
It's easy to find your way out of the spider's web.
The labyrinth.
You do nothing.
As soon as you move, you are done.
Once you get trapped in the web or labyrinth, which is the body, try to do nothing.
If you wait it out, the illusion will vanish.
How?
You'll wake up.
You wake up and see the illusion.
When you drop the body, the only change will be that you don't have a body.
You are free.
You exit the ride.

This knowledge is priceless.
It's pretty cheap.
You don't need to fly to the Amazon and spend thousands of dollars to have shamans try and wake you up.
I'll admit I needed to do that first.
I would not be in this position without initially seeking out Ayahuasca.
That allowed me to see MJ as a teacher plant along with Tobacco.
I see the lessons of Ayahuasca now.
I can't say I fully understood anything at the time.
No, you were learning, but it took a while.
So, a shaman is helping you wake up.
Could be.
They can also scare you, so you go back to sleep.
You can also get sidetracked from waking up.
You go into the occult and battle sorcerers or get tripped up by power.
You could be enchanted by a magical realm.
That's pretty cool, I must admit.
You will never realize it's all an illusion.
Well, it's kind of real.
The mind is, and the body is real in the sense it exists.
The metaphor of a meeting room is genius.
I'd like to claim credit for it, but I got the idea from my teachers, so they get the credit.
I'm just writing it down.

Society demonizes your other half in case you wake up.
The strength and power available to all is externalized.
You are made to believe you are just the one and the other remains buried or marginalized.
If awakened, the cognitive dissonance in relation to society and what constitutes a healthy mind is too much.
You think you are crazy.
Others will tell you that you are crazy and give you collective mental health resources which are very good at putting the other back to sleep, using medications if necessary.
This sounds crazy.
I know.
Imagine a society which recognizes your two halves of mental awareness.
Okay, that would upend our society.
We build our systems based on identity.
The identity is the body.
The body houses two minds.
The structure of society is based upon identification with the body.
If you identify with the body, you will be forever trapped in the illusion.
The illusion is Maya.
The illusion is you are your body that is birthed and then dies.
Your mind is unaffected.
Your mind is dualistic and transcends physical limitations of the body which is subject to a finite amount of time in a reality governed by time.
Think of the body as a meeting room for the two which are your essence.
Okay, I will grant you that, however why is my mind childish at first?
You're helpless.
You are dropped in a developing body with no idea where you are and what happened.
The development of the container coincides with gathering intel about where you are.
You accept what you are told and then learn to function among others who are in the same predicament.
As the container reaches maturity, you also develop a sense of awareness which is externally controlled by the overmind, which is the superego, the collective, the herd, society, whatever you wish to call it.
They tell you who you are and preemptively have already given you documentation that establishes your identity.
That's who you think you are.
You think you are the container.
Welcome to the grand illusion.

Monday, July 28, 2025

dionysos enorches

The Covid pandemic was a bad flu mixed in with a magic spell.
You might want to keep that to yourself.
Nah, that's a good one because I can explain it without coming across as too nuts.
Most people know by now how nonsensical those years were.

Paul can be moody.
Dionysos is very talkative.
Why do you think that is?
Dion was shut away for a long time while Paul had the run of the place.
Yeah, but Paul is quiet.
Why was I a quiet and shy kid?
Other people.
They try to dominate interactions.
It's endemic to the whole human experience where you notice this behaviour in sexual relationships and business because they are more raw in terms of showcasing behaviour and then we don't realize it permeates all walks of life.
You don't have a personality which is dominating and needs to control other people, however you don't want to be controlled.
This leads you towards withdrawing.
Thanks, doctor.
Why don't you exhibit this same behaviour as well, doctor?
Oh, there's no controlling me.
I'm it, the big kahuna.
There's nothing more than me.
You have an interesting confidence.
Yes, it's quite the thing to go through life knowing you're better than others.
How do you do it?
For the most part you shut up about it.

What do you think of the act in ancient Egypt of raising the Djed pillar?
It's hard to grasp it completely if you follow the interpretations of Egyptologists.
Why is that?
They are prudes.
It depicts the power of the life force to animate you.
How is that done?
In a male it's virility.
The pillar is your penis.
Osiris is the symbol and the strong life force in him gives him a huge erection.
I have pictures I took in Egypt at his temple in Abydos which will demonstrate this to you.
Nobody tells you this.
If you dig into ancient Egyptian thought, you come across the Heb Sed festival where the pharaoh had to prove his virility to the two serpent goddesses.
What did he have to do?
He'd masturbate in front of them to completion.
It's harder than you think when you get old.
What do you think bull cults were?
They are ancient parallels to Viagra.
The ancient Egyptians were using worship of the bull and magic for power.
One of those purposes was virility.
The pharaoh needed to be able to get hard.
Why?
That defines an alpha male.
It's all about strength and virility with a man.

The pharaoh needed a harem to maintain his virility.
He always had to prove he was virile.
Festivals.
Bull cults.
He needed to get it up like Osiris or they got rid of him.
Needed strength or he was ousted.

Do you consider yourself a bull?
You mean alpha?
Yes.
I don't compete with others for recognition.
Why?
If you must compete with other males for the honour of being an alpha male, then it's clear you aren't there.
Instead, I constantly demonstrate my superiority in whatever situation I encounter.
You make a good case.
If you are the top dog, which I clearly am, I don't need others to tell me that.
I see them come for me.
What do you do?
I get out of the way.
Why don't you fight them?
Because I'll destroy them.
You mean like Pentheus?
Don't pick a fight with me.
So, you're an alpha?
I don't pick a side.
You can't be both.
Why?
You must choose.
Who says?
Society.
Society says you need a role.
You are an alpha male or a beta male.
You need to pick a side.
I don't choose.
I dominate whatever game I choose to play.
I cannot deny that.
I submit when it gives me a perverse thrill.
That's the truth.
So, you really are Dionysos.
Who did you think I was?
Some random spectre I conjured from drug use.
Could be.

Monday, July 21, 2025

utopia

Do you think you are deluded?
The push of rationality gives you that thought.
Of course, this is all in your head and the drugs bring it out.
I ask you though, isn't it all in your head?
Haven't you discovered that reality is also a fantasy which originates in the mind and then becomes form?
Fantasy becomes reality and is the story you are living in.
It started off in someone's head.
Who is that someone?
The great writer of the drama.
Do you know who that someone is?
Yeah, it's you.
You are me.
You told me you got the idea from the Great Goddess.
You find her at the equinoxes.
She told you of her idea where everyone is equal, and it was a perfect utopia.
This perfection was a result of women being in charge.
She said, tell me a story about that.
First off, you can see the problem.
If women have all the power how can things be equal?
This world is the result of what a woman desires.
She did not fill in the details of how her utopia would come about.
I am beholden to Tao, thus, to create a perfect world where women are in power, I had to balance it out with the backstory of an imperfect world where men are in charge.
This is her story though she will deny it.
She knows I'm writing what it is she wanted to manifest.
I could not write about a perpetual utopia.
Why?
Nothing happens.
It's perfect.
Everyone does as they are told.
There is no freedom.
It is the epitome of Heaven.
Would it be like the Garden of Eden?
Yeah, that was perfection.
There was no death.
Adam and Eve had all they needed in the garden.
What happened?
A woman was tempted with knowledge.
She ate of that fruit and destroyed her utopia.
She wanted to know the story.
So, you gave her utopia to begin with.
Yes, and she lost it through her actions.
You see, you can't run a utopia if the people have knowledge.
Why?
They will rebel like in the Tower of Babylon biblical story.
Why?
Equality is a problem.
Everyone wants to get ahead.
With knowledge it is possible to gain an advantage over your opponents.
Who are your opponents?
Other people, God, just about everything.
So, knowledge is the problem?
In terms of keeping a perfect world going, yes.
Utopia only works if the people are stupid.
You can teach them the basics of life to survive but withhold knowledge of reality.
You can't teach people that they aren't free.
They will rebel.
It happens all the time.
Once the level of oppression, surveillance, and control reaches a point where people see it, they get angry and rebel.
In utopia, no one is free and everyone is stupid.
Thus, to reach utopia after the incident in the Garden of Eden is the launching point for the story of humanity.
It's quite the story.
Indeed.
Is there truth to the story you are writing in the Bible?
Yes, but not as you are taught.
What do you mean?
God struggles with the monster of the sea.
You mean Leviathan?
Yes, it's so bad he consecrated a priesthood called the Levites to keep Leviathan asleep.
If this monster wakes up, watch out.
I take it Leviathan is the Goddess.
Yes, you are correct.
She is also present in Jerusalem.
God rails against her in the Old Testament.
You should read it, it is quite the story.
In the end she makes him so mad he destroys her.
In the New Testament in the Book of Revelation, God goes on and on about what a whore Jerusalem is and throws her back into the sea after her harlotry with all the nations on earth.
He is in a rage.
Women will do that to you.
Even to God.
Then a New Jerusalem was created.
It's his second wife, the first one didn't work out.
New Jerusalem is utopia.
That's where all the religious nutters are going.
They think they are going to Heaven, but it's New Jerusalem.
Well, isn't that Heaven?
Yes.
The opponents of utopia go to Hell.
You mean the Lake of Fire.
Same thing.
So, Heaven and Hell are really New Jerusalem and the Lake of Fire.
Correct.
That's where you find them on a map.
Are they on Google Maps?
Ah, no.
They are fantasy.
They don't exist in reality.
Let me get this straight - in the story you are writing which is reality, Jerusalem is central to it.
Yes.
Well, that checks out.
In the end times, God returns.
You mean Jesus?
No, Jesus was God in the flesh 2,000 years ago.
The next appearance of God isn't Jesus.
I thought it was.
That's not what is written in the Book of Revelation.
The inference is it's Jesus, but it's obviously not if you bother to read it.
I don't believe you.
Read it.
You wrote a book about it.
I know.
It took me like 10 years to write that masterpiece.
At least.
I sold 3 copies.
Two of them to people I knew, and one legitimately.
Everyone relies on someone else to interpret these ancient ramblings from prophets.
How did the prophets get this knowledge?
Drugs.
So, the apple in the Garden of Eden was a drug?
It's a mystery.
I was thinking of a mandrake, you know, mayapple.
That will send you for a loop and wake you up.
It certainly does.
It's a little risky in terms of waking up, but it will certainly do that if you need a little push.
Alright, where were we?
God comes back in the flesh in the end times.
So, let me guess - that's you.
Correct.
Well, that answers the original question of whether you are deluded.
I think the answer is yes.
Well, it is all in your head.

You seem to be the embodiment of Dionysos.
It is certainly how I feel.
I'm pretty confident in my likes and dislikes, therefore I can see it.
Do you have a bunch of women followers?
I have been known to attract maenads.
Like a harem?
Sort of, but I don't want that.
It's a nuisance.
What about men?
You mean satyrs?
Yes.
They are kind of repulsive, I don't see why women are drawn to men.
It's the penis.
It's hypnotic.
Why?
It's powerful.
Beware the penis.

Dionysos participates in my writing process.
He is good at it.
I reread some of what I have written and I'm like I could never have written that, or I didn't write that.
It's him.
Obviously.
He isn't an exact copy of you.
How dreadful would that be?
It would be utopia.
A utopian paradise is where everyone thinks the same and is equal.
Everyone wins the lottery and so it has no meaning.
In Heaven it involves everyone worshipping God and following the rules.
Everyone follows the book.
You mean the Bible?
Yeah, that's the Word.
Your thinking must conform to the Word.
Who is the Word?
John says the Word is Jesus.
You mean God's son?
Yes.
God is the writer of creation.
Yes.
What does that make his Word?
His ejaculate.
I knew this was coming.
You asked.
The Word is the flow of God.
God is the divine pen.
No doubt.

Do you think you are the most spiritually evolved person in the world?
That's a tough question.
I'd say yes, though I will keep quiet about it.
Why?
It's a game and there are others who are really good at the game.
Are you afraid of losing?
No.
Then why not play?
I don't want to get involved.
Why?
Because your opponents don't care about reality, spirituality, or whatever you want to call it; they just want to beat you with their intellectual prowess.
It's a game to them.
Well, it is a game.
Aren't you avoiding it?
No, I'm playing the game where I become untouchable.
How?
I declare myself the winner and write about it.
My opponents will get frustrated because I won't play their game.
They want you to play their game.
They rig their game, so they always win.
Are you deluded?
Possibly.
Doesn't that bother you?
No.
Why?
I keep to myself.
My delusions are personal.
I don't share them except for in my writing, and no one reads my writing.
So, you admit to delusion?
Yes.
You have created all these stories in your head.
There are a lot of them.
Doesn't it bother you that it is all fantasy?
Fantasy is delusion.
Aren't you living in a fantasy world?
No, I know my delusions are fantasies.
Then what are you doing?
I write fantasies and then bring them into reality.
The fantasies also help me to see what's going on by taking an idea from reality and expanding upon it.
Eventually this must get tiring.
It would except for the fact fantasies become reality.
I manifest my delusions.
The cracks in reality start to appear as synchronicities and coincidences.
The seeds for my delusions are taken from reality.
My fantasies are based upon events that have happened.
I then see into those events and create a story.
Because I have based a delusion upon reality, it has a chance to come true.
How does it come true?
It's a garden of delusions and they grow.
When they ripen, I pick them.
Do you?
I let it be.
So, they spoil.
No, I invite others into my garden, and they eat the fruit.
They enter into my story because they eat the fruit from my garden of delusions.
Who are you?
I'm Paul.
Who am I?
Dion.
Shouldn't Dion have the garden?
Why?
Because he seems more supernatural.
No, Paul is the writer.
Dion gave him the power.
He writes delusions.
Read his blog spot.
He is nuts.

Jesus didn't get away with claiming he was God.
No, they did him in.
Sacrificed him.
Who did?
The executive producers.
They can't have two gods running around.
It's hard enough bribing and controlling the one god.
If you are trying to run the show, you keep the options to a minimum, so Jesus had to go.
They use his memory to control the masses.
It worked for a while, though it has lost its grip on humanity nowadays.
It's more a niche curiosity.
So, how do you think you will get away with it?
I'll shut up about it.
I write about it to an audience of zero and I keep to myself.

Getting to God means getting to the Devil.
You get offered power.
Things happen for you.
It's nice.
I never asked.
People ask plant medicines for things.
That's why they keep drinking those power plants.
They get addicted to asking for stuff.
They don't give enough in return.
Soon it becomes out of control.
They blow up.
I kept giving.
If you leave it alone and let it be, it will balance.
You will get all you want if you let it be.
It only works for me because I don't ask for anything.
If you ask for things all the time you will get shit to balance it out.
You give and accept the shit.
Tao leads you to balance.
I'll get what I want.
You don't ask for it.
It just happens.
Isn't It a problem to get what you want?
No.
Why?
You let it happen.
You didn't ask to have a good chunk of money for retirement.
It worked out.
Maybe.
You didn't ask for a huge amount.
You asked nothing.
Not for nothing.
You didn't do.
Do not do and let it be.
It's the way of Tao.
Get shit on and used.
Turn the other cheek, said Jesus.
Do nothing.
You win the game.
The game is Tao.

You write fantasy.
Yeah.
It's what you desire.
You want the witches to cut your dick off.
Yeah.
Why?
Thrill.
Are you sure?
I think you reach a point where you have done everything sexually except that.
That is plausible.
Okay, I see the attraction.
I hope so as you are me and they cut you off.
Right.
Well, we must think of a way out of it.
I did.
We twist the story at the end.
How far do we take it?
They have the knife at the ready.
How far do you let them go?
It's a symbol for emasculation.
That's Final Fantasy.
Yup.
That's funny.
Well, how close are we?
I like women.
Yeah, but you see their game.
They are monsters.

The Great Goddess wants women to have complete power.
They will, it just takes a while to get to that point in the story.
It's at the end of the story.
Utopia.
Non-duality.
The end.
So, what are we doing in the meantime?
Nothing.
Playing a game.
What's the game?
Balance and get the high score.
Right to the edge, twist reality, and keep it going.

Women want to cause pain.
It's in all women and they are good at it.
Pleasure and pain.
They bring balance.
Tao.
Sort of.
Balance leads to Tao.
It is not Tao.
What is it?
Nothing.
It's balance.
No, you can't measure or define Tao.
Nothing is describing it as nothing.
Why can't you describe Tao?
It's everything.
It would take forever to describe everything.
It would blow your mind and then we are in duality.
Who describes it?
The writer.
Why?
That's what he does.
He is a part of the everything and he is the part who ruined non-duality.
Within everything possible is the asshole who ruins it.
Why?
Because it contains all possibilities.
That's absurd.
I know.
So, this goes on forever?
Yes.
Unless they get rid of the writer.
Oh, I see.
They kill the possibility of another story in this world.
Yes.
How do they do that?
They cut off your dick.
Well, first they must find me.
I know.
When a scout finds you and sees your power, they want it for themselves.
You will get reported.
They know it is you, but they can't get in.

There's always more because you see into all things.
You record your thoughts on the edge.
Not only with Tobacco, but you did it with Vilca when you hung out on the edge.
I think I went over the edge on that one.
Yeah, how did you get back?
I knew it wasn't final.
Why?
Because of the whole Heaven and Hell thing.
I thought the end would take you to one of those places.
That's the Russian Roulette part of Vilca.
If it takes you to a place that you think is the end of your life, then it is.
It's about belief.
So, having a belief in Heaven and Hell helps you with Vilca?
Yes, if you didn't have any beliefs, you would definitely think it's the end.
That's clever.
When you get good at the game, they take you to the portals of Heaven and Hell.
Then they see how good you are.
Is that why don Howard would take his students there?
Yes, but Vilca wasn't offered at those sites.
He would do that before the trip and then take you to the portals afterwards.
You would recognize them at el Brujo and Heaven's Gate.
That's why he'd mention the problems in the group after the el Brujo trip.
People would see it.
They'd see the power as well and want it.
There is a lot of power at el Brujo.

The executive producers try to keep God under control.
In the story, they succeed.
It's because they think the writer is God instead of the other way around.
God is the writer.
Yes, God is a character he plays, and he lets them get near him.
Isn't God always incarnating in humans?
Not always, but yes that's why they keep watch for him.
Like Jesus?
Yes.
Once they figured out Jesus was God, they offed him.
Before that, they thought he was just another nut.
That seems to be the progression.
At first anyone who says they are God isn't taken seriously.
I see that.
Eventually they do take him seriously because he starts to do miracles.
Jesus shouldn't have done that.
Why?
He gave himself away.
Don't you believe God is also the Devil?
Yes, I wrote a book about it.
Why did you develop a dislike of Yahweh?
Because I could see he was the Devil.
That's the reason.
I mean I had a disdain for religion, and I also saw God as a nutter and a hot head in the Bible.
What have you learned?
The writer is both God and the Devil, Dion and Paul.
What do you think about the Devil?
He is misunderstood.
What about your feelings towards Yahweh?
They were misguided.
I see he gives Israel what they want and then makes them suffer.
It seems to be in balance.
I think when God is free of them they suffer, and when they come for him he gives them what they want.
It's kind of amazing to see how it works.
What is God's power?
He knows how to control Leviathan.
Who is Leviathan?
The Goddess.
The executive producers of this story work for Leviathan and they know she's a crazy bitch, so they have to win God's favour.
Yes, but the executive producers want God's power.
Yeah, they stuff him in a temple and let him out once a year.
He's like a genie in a lamp except the lamp is a temple.
Oh, I get it.
The genie gives them what they want and then they leave him alone.
Yes, he goes off and is distant from them, but they know he will incarnate again.
Why?
Adventure.
God wants to be part of the story.
Okay, so he's here.
Yeah, he's with Paul.
Who is Paul?
Some guy who lives in Holland Landing.
Why is he so special he became God?
He understands him.
He wrote a book about him and then he made him his friend.
It seems like a good place to incarnate.
The other great thing about Paul is he will do nothing about this arrangement.
He will go along with it and not give it away.
He is tempted to but keeps it to himself, plus he writes about it constantly.
If you are ever taken seriously, they will get rid of you.
They already tried.
I'm on to them.
As long as I'm not recognized as God or do some miracle or magic trick that someone sees, I'm good.
When people have a glimpse of awakening, they see you as God.
Or when they pass on, they will see it.
That will be a shock to some.
Holy fuck, Paul is God.
I hope I didn't piss him off.

Energy is Eros, the Goddess gets an idea about energy, and the writer begets the story.
The first appearance of anything from non-duality is Eros.
What do they look like?
Their mom and dad.
You would describe the appearance as a hermaphrodite.
The term now is intersexed, you troglodyte.
Whatever.
The ancient Egyptians produced this image to describe a distant goddess.
I remember it in my studies.
The two who comprise Eros separate into the initial feminine and masculine beings.
They produced a child, who is Eros.
The ability of Eros to manifest in a physical world is done by dividing into two and then beginning the process of reproduction.
That's biology and its origins.
Why does Eros appear?
They are lust.
Lust comes forth.
Why?
It just does.
Have you ever been horny for no reason?
Yes.
It just happens.
It's a failsafe to keep the cyclical nature of this story moving.
It will go on for eternity.
Without lust, there is nothing.
Within nothing, there is lust.
Lust is the demise of non-duality.
Lust is a story.
Who is responsible for the story?
I'm partial to the writer.
Why?
Because I'm him.
I'm within everyone but no one recognizes me.
Except for you.
The writer needs lust to write the story of creation.
Where does he get that?
The Goddess.
What is lust?
An idea.
The writer begets the idea of lust.
Language is pretty good.
You can describe what happens with it.
You need a writer to create the story from the idea of the Goddess.
Her idea is lust, the child.
This is the story of lust.
What are you hung up on?
Non-duality.
Why?
Because it's nothing.
Well, it's everything, but nothing is going on because there is no awareness.
Why?
It's too crowded.
It gets so crowded there is a big explosion.
Why is it crowded out?
It's a world of equality.
A perfect utopia where there is no death.
What do you think happens in a world without death?
Eventually, it becomes untenable.
Finally, there is the straw which breaks the camel's back.
Utopia blows.
So, the big bang is the destruction of Utopia.
Utopia is the perfect world of the Goddess, which is the end of every story.
Correct.
The story begins again with the big bang.
The collective sexual frustration of those trapped in a utopia where they can't thrust to get relief causes the massive explosion.
So, the big bang is a giant collective orgasm from this orgy promulgated by the Goddess' desire for equality.
You see it.
Yes.
That's absurd.
Are you high?
No, I've had a couple cups of coffee, but that's it.

Monday, July 14, 2025

carnival

One of my teachers said there is always more.
It's why no one can give you a definitive answer when it comes to the spiritual trip or the nebulous idea of enlightenment.
The answer would be in terms of what do you want me to say?
Nothing is defined.
It's absurd.
I cannot describe it.
I can point you towards teachings and experiences which will allow you to see it for yourself.
That's the role of a teacher.
The student must experience it themselves.
It's the idea of the shaman as a doorman.
He or she leads you to the door.
You knock and enter because this is what you wanted.
Then the great cosmic joke is unveiled.
It's always interesting to see how you react to it.
People can't handle it, and they go crazy.
It's best to be a squirrel, gather nuts, and not worry about finding meaning in life.
It's the level of consciousness which spurs you on towards attempting to find meaning.
We are all from the same bucket of energy and every form of energy which has life has the same potential.
The only difference is unlocking the governors upon that potential.
There's what Aldous Huxley described in the "Doors of Perception" as a reducing valve which prevents our mind from knowing everything.
The more you can access, the more is revealed.
If you want to go on a spiritual trip towards enlightenment, you need a method to open the valve.
If you open it up too much at once, you will not be able to handle it, and you will suffer mental health problems.
If you open it a little bit at a time, you will eventually be able to work with the knowledge.
You don't need much.
You find the sweet spot and create a container for your exploration.
Within the container there is enough to keep you going for a long time.
Within the oval container you find the edges through ritual.
You can explore the edges of the container to get glimpses of the great beyond.
Without the discipline of a container, you will eventually get too high or too low and not be able to return.
This is my contribution to the spiritual seeker community.

What about the corporate teat?
It's very rewarding.
I can see how some people are wary of a corporate job when they have an inner calling of freedom.
Corporations are good at tying you to them, and you base your life on being available for the company.
They reward you when you do this.
The benefits are great.
They fund your retirement.
You get regular pay.
The key to happiness is knowing what they are doing, harbouring a general disdain, and soldiering on.
It's a fool.
If you start your own business, you will tie yourself to your business.
The rewards are potentially greater.
No one gets rich working for the man.
You get rich through growing your business and through profiting not by a single digit percentage, but by multiple percentages.
The average is 15% to 25% for a good business while a high growth tech company can hit 50%.
The corporation will give you a 2% yearly raise while they strive for higher returns.
The company grows and you get a little bit.
Even in the down years they are still outpacing your raise.
It's best you don't have access to the balance sheet because if you did you would be angry with them and their financial dealings with you.
They speak of family and then they lay off your friends.
It's really quite the game.
What's your advice?
Do what they ask, pretend to care, and build your own wealth.
Take your money and invest in solid businesses through the stock market.
A solid business will see their share price rise between 10-15% a year accounting for fluctuations and the volatility of the market in general.
There's nothing you can do when world events cause market turbulence.
It's best to do nothing and ride the rollercoaster.
If you can get this side hustle going early in life, it's like having a business that generates extra money with the key being that you don't have to do anything.
Then you take the profits and reinvest in the business, making profit off your profits.
All the workers who put in time at these solid businesses are making you money while you do nothing.
That's my advice to the corporate worker, well, people in general.
What about herd behaviour in the stock market?
Yes, that's why you do nothing about turbulence when you are in it for the long haul.
The financial markets will follow the emotional sensibilities of human beings and how we react to news and events.
You could trade for gain based on this behaviour.
You do the opposite of what you are feeling, which is hard to do.
It's risky, so over the long haul it's best to sit and watch, however if you want to make a living trading the secret is to buy low and sell high.
It's very simple.
The problem is you go against what you are feeling and want to do.
What you are feeling is the call of herd behaviour.
Humans are bovines in disguise.
We follow the herd.
When the market is going up, we want in.
It's a thrill and a dopamine hit.
When crypto is soaring, we want in.
When the market drops, fear and panic sets in, and we want to get out.
Cut your losses and regroup.
The market always goes up and then it comes down.
Look it up.
If you know this, what do you think is the best strategy for being a trader?
Sell when you think it can't go much higher and buy when the market takes a dump.
The biggest problem with this strategy is missing out on the rebound after the dump.
Those are the huge days where if you miss them it will fuck up your year.
Just like holding on for too long at the high point because the drop comes fast.
It's a good rollercoaster ride.
It will be a fun activity in retirement when you can pay attention to it.

What is fun about the carnival?
The rides, attractions, and eats.
Sounds like life.
Yes, life is basic.
You want wealth and power in order to get admission to the finest carnival.
That one has the best rides and the shows are amazing.
You eat the finest food.
Is there something more to life than the carnival?
Making friends.
Making love.
What do you do with friends and lovers?
You hang out at the carnival.
Most people work for the carnival.
Yes, you must put in your time at the carnival and then you get let out to enjoy the carnival.
Some people prefer to stay home because they are tired of the carnival.
They make their own food and avoid the crowds.
As you get older, you definitely tire of the carnival.
People who enjoy peace and quiet start thinking about a cabin in the woods away from it all.
I would think the optimum balance is a cabin in the woods and then travel to exciting places.
That sounds like a good retirement.