writer

Of course, I grew up on a street called Empire Place.

No doubt; I mean you are the King.

In my head at least.

Do you think more people will start recognizing who I am?

Yes, your secret is going to get out.

I wouldn't worry about it; all you must do is remember to play.

Have fun with it.

Don't fuck it up.

I like how you dismiss events in your life as strange coincidences.

Yeah, such as sitting on a bus and having a woman stare at me and say I'm so beautiful.

It's pretty crazy.

The banker who wanted to set me up with his daughter.

How is the King doing?

Hanging out, drinking coffee, and working.

It's humbling for a King and keeps me grounded.

I see.

I imagine they want to keep you under control.

Who are they?

Pretty much everyone.

A good way to envision it is a science experiment with volatile chemicals that in the laboratory they try to keep from exploding.

I feel that.

Do you think it will work?

The trick is they think they are in control of me and so I let them think that.

I'm in control of myself.

How do you control yourself?

You create a container for control and then within the container you are granted freedom.

The experiment has limits but within the limits I'm free.

Isn't that compromised?

How so?

There are limits, so it's not an accurate depiction of who you are.

It's the opposite.

Why?

Because you have a body in this reality; that's the container.

All stories have a container and this is a story.

What's outside of the container?

It's the same as asking: what is beyond the universe?

The question becomes what happens when you step beyond the universe which is a container, or you exit the body?

The simple explanation is you blow up.

Right, the chemicals in the test tube become unstable and react.

No one knows the result.

They can't know the result because you will blow up reality.

How will you record your findings if you have blown the place to smithereens?

You can't.

No one knows.

You must accept that a story works within a created world, and you can't step out of that world.

Well, you can but then you exit the drama.

How can you become the writer of the story and still be in the story?

By playing a character.

The writer can't be in the story unless he is a character.

You must remember to play a character.

I'm playing Paul.

Paul is the writer's character.

That's funny.

Why?

Because I'm deeply flawed.

As am I.

How are you the writer then?

I got the job because no one else wanted it.

Every man wants to be God.

Women want to be witches.

Yeah, they don't even want to be the Goddess.

For some reason they just become witches while men try to get to God.

God is more attractive than the writer.

Why?

The writer is a lonely jerk off.

Only you could play him.

I see.

You're very funny.

You're beyond crazy.

Yes, there was a chemical imbalance last year to use that analogy about the science experiment.

First, I was wondering whether it was time to go and then I went a little crazy.

We got you too close to the edge and thought you might blow.

When we took you to the edge again you just went a little funny.

You have experience with all that now, so you hit the heights of crazy with control.

I would like to say it's grace.

I have my craziness smoothed out.

I accept that I'm crazy, but I act that part.

It's because I can see how I'm perceived and then I go with it and come across as put together now.

I don't think that was the case last year.

Do you think you will ever get out of control and crazy again?

Never say never, but it's unlikely.

Why?

I operate within a container.

I know the limits of the container.

I know what chemicals will take me beyond the container.

I like to call them plant medicines.

Right.

There's a bunch of artificial ones as well.

I'll stay pure and avoid other stuff.

I'm good at work to the point where people will say I'm magic.

Okay, so project that out into all you do.

I see that.

What do you think?

From my standpoint, it's proficiency, attention to detail, skill, and humour.

Yeah, that's what you see.

Others don't see that because they don't understand how you can combine all those skills into one package.

All they see is magic.

You don't let it go to your head.

Well, no, it's ridiculous.

I can see thinking you are God go to your head.

Ego states are volatile.

Avoid the chemical imbalance of those people.

So, chemical imbalances are a thing?

Yes, it's the answer to why people go funny or morose, you know, the infinite sadness.

I don't think it's acceptable to say that.

Can you say they are off?

I don't think so.

What can you say?

Nothing.

It's playtime.

Everyone is accepted.

I want to say deviant people have a chemical imbalance, but I'm not allowed to.

I would like to preface it by saying the chemical balance is arbitrary.

It's how you fit into society and the general narrative.

The imbalance allows you to surf a different wave and that comes across as being off.

That's all.

So, you recommend inclusivity of all states of being?

In a way, yes, because it is part of the human experience.

To function within the dominant frequency and live a decent life, you must know how to balance the states of being.

How do you do that?

Create multiple personalities and try to keep them separate.

One for work and one for the rest of your life.

You'll need more.

You need one for family, neighbours, and the grocery store.

The deviant is for select people.

Witches get thinner after they off their partner.

Holy fuck, Dion.

No one to devour anymore.

I think they are always plotting something.

I wouldn't worry about it because they always are, but they are lazy, messy, and don't like the cold.

They only clean because of men.

It's one of the big reasons women hate men.

They make them clean.

See, Dion comes through with comedy.

He might be a little much at times, but he's worth it.

My dog Luna didn't like running into people and dogs on our walks.

Craziness is similar to my high.

Yes, it's confirms the need to be alone when you are high.

I didn't like that before I started getting high.

Plus, I have always been a degenerate.

That's why the writer knows you and I are the same.

That's how the writer finds his character in the story.

So, you found me?

Yes, there's what 7 billion people to run through?

Well, you can eliminate the women.

What if they are a man trapped in a woman's body?

Yeah, I didn't think of that, that could be you.

How many people do you think that affects?

More than you think.

So, let's say 4 billion actors audition before finding you.

It's a good story for the writer where he finds someone to play him in the drama.

You're like a modern day Shakespeare.

Who was Shakespeare?

Nobody knows.

It was a pen name.

So, that's how you appeared in the drama?

Yes, and then I wrote all those plays to torment 20th Century school children such as yourself.

I see.

Also, Homer.

Your lineage traces back to Shakespeare.

Nobody's ancestry does, that's just a fool's story and your dad bought into it.

Didn't he come up with some genealogy and a book to prove it?

I think a lot of people did that.

Your mom went to the Shakespeare Museum and there was a big sign that said if you think you are related to Shakespeare, you're not.

That was funny.

It's true though, right?

It's a mystery.

Do you think it's all over in 19 years?

Could be.

World war.

It has been 100 years without one.

If your character is done, the world goes away.

The writer is no longer in it and gets tired of it.

The writer needs to be in the world in order to maintain his interest in writing the story.

He is selfish that way.

The world comes alive with stories.

Nothing happens until a story is created.

Then the possibilities are endless.

I can't stop writing stories.

You have stepped into your power, the power to write!

The writer can't make fun of me because I'm him.

Well, he can, but he is making fun of himself.

We are strange.

Like to be alone.

You can figure out the writer if you are honest with yourself.

That's me.

Writers in Hollywood are using Mary Jayne to write.

They are using it for gain.

That's why they don't get any respect.

They balance out.

The actors and directors take all the credit.

Everyone thinks actors are shallow and directors are pompous.

That's just humans for you when they get fame and power.

You weren't looking for gain, fame, or power from your abilities.

That describes the writer.

What are you doing then?

I'm writing a story for the Great Goddess, my one true love.

Your story causes her hardship and pain.

Now, you could reasonably be called a misogynist plus you think she is a monster.

There are a lot of twists and turns in this story.

You spent all that time and money looking for her, finding her, honouring her, and now you write she is a monster.

Yeah, it's a good story, eh?

So, the writer puts his story above the Goddess.

No, the way to honour and worship the Goddess is to write the best story I am capable of.

This is my best story.

Well, there are a bunch of stories.

That's how it works.

Your linear brain thinks there is only one reality and one story when in fact there are infinite realities and infinite stories playing out.

The themes are woven together.

What you see in this reality is the same in other realities.

Well, you mean the themes.

Yes.

Sometimes though themes don't seem like they are similar but trust me they are.

You mean like the magnificence of the Goddess and in another story, she is a monster?

Yes, and if you don't like thinking of the Goddess as a monster, find a story where she is a Goddess or a princess.

You are not beholden to a story.

I like the monster story.

As do I.

That's why I play your character.

You want to play the stories I like.

No one else wants to play the monster story.

They run.

I'm not running from the monster, I'm entertaining her.

In ancient Greek mythology the split is to see Apollo as the light and Dionysos the dark.

Those two define the man who has come forth into civilization cultured and the wild man we keep in darkness.

In ancient Egypt there is a different interpretation of man's split.

It has taken me a while, but I understand it now and it is profound.

We come forth as Set.

The mythology has Set murder Osiris and take over this incarnation.

In today's world a man is Set and fools us into thinking we are not him.

We are essentially as men all playing the character of the Devil who fools us all into thinking we are not him and he is an external character.

You're getting warm.

He fools you into thinking you're not him.

Or I fool myself into thinking who awakens in you is the Devil.

Yes.

You see it now.

You awaken and think you have run into the Devil, but you are the Devil.

You have awakened Horus.

No man gives up his power to the awakened one because first of all they think it is the Devil and second of all the Devil wouldn't give up power.

Exactly.

The Devil fools himself into thinking he isn't the Devil.

Confusing and masterful.

To hold onto power as long as possible, this is what you, the Devil, do.

The Devil is just a character of the writer though.

Yes, the writer plays the Devil.

Who am I?

The writer.

Who is Horus?

The reborn Osiris.

Who is Osiris?

The eternal soul.

Who is Set?

The recurring life force.

Can I simplify this?

Yes.

Paul is who the Devil has convinced himself he is.

The Devil is a character of the writer.

Paul and the Devil are characters.

Got it.

Isn't the writer the Devil?

Yes, but the Devil is a character.

That's what I don't understand.

Who am I talking to?

Yourself.

I sort of know that but I'm having an actual conversation with someone I can project as external though yes, it is within my consciousness.

You are talking to the writer.

But I'm the writer.

Yes.

You must play a character in order to talk to yourself.

Oh, okay, I think I get it.

I play Paul and talk to the writer.

Yes.

If I play the writer, who do I talk to?

You don't play me.

Why?

I'm not a character, so you can't play me.

You can try but it won't work.

Try it.

How?

Become the writer.

Okay.

Can you talk to anyone?

No, there's no one there.

Become Paul.

Okay.

Who can you talk to?

Myself as the writer.

A character seems to be the life force.

Yes, the puppet is animated.

Become the Devil.

Okay.

Can you talk to anyone?

The writer.

Become the writer again.

Okay.

What happens?

I must write dialogue for whomever I address.

If I become a character, then the writer responds naturally when I speak to him.

This is kind of weird.

I'm the character who plays the writer, but I can't be the writer.

I think it's the other way around.

I'm talking about Paul.

Paul is who the writer is when he comes forth in this world.

How do you know that?

He won't come forth as anyone else.

Why?

Because Paul is the only one who understands.

Dion wants me to write him a good story.
I got the power.
Would the Devil let you write his story?
No, he'd want to write his own story.
Isn't Paul the Devil?
In a way, yes.
We are both characters of the writer.
You can write your own story now.
No, I'm writing the story for Dion the writer.
You can't write your own story.
That's narcissistic.
The way around it is to create a character who is you and write that story.
Writers who invent a character who is basically them and write a story about them, are the worst.
For sure.
They can fantasize like they are James Bond or similar.
True.
So, the writer couldn't write about himself, so he wrote a story where the character of Paul wakes up to the knowledge he is the writer of reality.
Yes, that's the story.
Because the writer can't write about himself, he trades places with Paul.
Paul becomes the writer of reality, and the writer becomes an actor.
He assumes Paul's identity.
Yes, that's not you.
That's why your dad didn't recognize you.
I thought he was just senile.
I get it, the writer switches between Paul and himself.
Yes, and when some see him, they think he is the Devil.
You're a kind and generous Devil.
Yeah, good twist.
Paul is a great storywriter.
That's how you do it.
You take the idea and twist it.
It shocks the audience.
They see you as the Devil and you are kind.
You're the best dog owner to ever walk the planet.
The writer switches between his two identities of Paul and the Devil.
Seems confusing.
It is.
Let me try and figure it out.
Paul and the Devil are the same.
Well, they are characters of the writer.
The Devil comes forth by day into the light.
He's Lucifer.
The name is a clue that no one gets.
The human male is the Devil.
Got it.
We trick ourselves into not knowing this by assuming another identity.
Paul.
Right.
Paul is the Devil.
He's a nice Devil.
Well, yes, Lucifer isn't a monolith.
He comes off as many different characters.
Within the Paul character, the writer saw himself.
He then trades places with Paul so he can experience the realities he created.
Paul is now writing the story.
Essentially, Lucifer is now in charge of the story.
Yes, but the writer trusts Lucifer to write the story.
Why?
Because it's Paul.
Paul passed all the tests the writer gave him.
Paul gave up his power to the writer because he trusted him.
He was going to lose it anyway, but he gave up his power.
The Devil, as Paul, gave up his power gracefully to the writer.
The writer then trusted him with the power to write.
So, Paul has the power to write all of this?
Yes, the story.
It's already been written though.
Yes, because I figured whoever I selected to be the writer would know Tao and therefore would go with the flow and do nothing.
You can write if you want, but you are best to leave it alone.
Yeah, Dion is going to have a bunch of money.
Exactly.
You know what I would write.
Money, sex, drugs, and rock and roll.
Correct.
Those are common with Paul, the Devil, and Dion.
Leave God out of it if you want any fun.
I'm down with it.

You are going to freak yourself out because you realized you are the Devil.
I'm good with it.
I see the Devil can take on many roles.
If I get stuck on an evil demon, then it should scare the fuck out of me.
If I see he encompasses all possibilities, then I understand.
As the writer, I contain all possibilities.
Paul is who I am.
Paul is the needle in the haystack who manifested all the attributes of the divine writer.
Hail Dionysos!

You are familiar with the ego mind in this incarnation but imagine when you pass on all you have remaining is the subconscious mind of the writer.
I see that.
I see how the character of Paul would cease to exist because he needs a body to manifest.
Yes, so that psychic reality still exists, however it needs a body.
So, you incarnate once again, and this entity reformulates.
That should be scary, right?
Yes, but we are unaware of what is happening, and we gradually grow into the character.
That's fascinating because my experience with reacquainting myself with my subconscious mind at 45 years old was one of fright.
It happened all at once and scared me.
That's who you are until the ego mind is overlaid on top of your eternal soul.
Yes, there is the continuation of who you are and then the characters who come forth from the master record.
Soul and life force.
Osiris and Set.
Set is the multi-faceted actor as I have been teaching you.
He plays many roles.
Of course, we try to claim one is superior to the other.
They work hand in hand.
If you have a soul, you will create projections of the soul.
If you have a life force, which of course you do or you wouldn't be here, then invariably you have a soul which is the rock of the life force.
Okay, so the trick is to recreate the same character.
Well, you do as it is Set, but then you see Set is the greatest character actor to ever grace the stage.
Right.
He can play any role and is best when given the freedom to perform.
How about when he creates a great character such as Paul?
Then the audience wants more of that character.
The character lives on as long as there is a desire to witness that character's story.
Is there?
Yes, Paul has figured out the meaning of life and is fucking around with others who don't know what is going on.
Some of them have an idea but they can't formulate it like he can.
He is always one step ahead of their knowledge.
At least one step, many more.
Paul's story is unique.
There's no one like him.
All you must do is read his writing.
On top of that, he only gives you access to an edited version of his writing on his blog.
If you knew of all his thoughts, you'd be amazed.
Well, I think you'd lock him up.
It's not that bad.
I was referring to a mental institution.
You make a good point.

creating a story

What happens when the writer wants to be an actor?

He must give up the pen.

Why?

If you write your own adventure, it will be lame.

Think about it.

You'd write what you want.

Isn't that what he did?

Yes.

And then he gave up the power over his story to you.

The flow will lead to the fulfillment of the story he wrote for himself.

Going against the flow will create a different story.

That's the chance he took with you.

No one will understand this.

They will think you are kooky.

As they should.

It's reality.

Yes.

Reality is my story.

How do you feel about your two-week Mary Jayne break?

Positive in that I needed a break to recentre and take a sober look at myself.

I haven't lost the connection to Dion and MJ.

They feel stronger.

Instead of relying on changing my consciousness to be with them, I always feel they are with me.

Who are you?

I am who I have always been.

Who is that?

My character of Paul.

Paul has changed.

He is more like Dion.

I don't notice the difference as much as I think others do.

I think that's it, where you aren't aware of the change, however others can see it.

Everything seems the same to me though I do know I'm different.

I wrote that Eros came alive.

First, he appears as an idea and then he manifests.

That's the story when you look back into the past.

You see the story.

The genius is you don't know who to blame.

You want to blame the witch because you think it was her doing and she sent you pictures of the two to foreshadow what was to come.

She held a lamb in her arms while you felt like a bull.

You think it's her and then you realize it's him.

He's the golden calf.

Obviously.

I like that story.

Son of the Great Goddess and you, a mere mortal, are the progenitor.

What does that make me?

A fool.

Or God.

You can handle both roles; you're the best.

At the heart of it all you're the writer.

It's her idea and you made the idea come alive.

What was the idea?

Eros.

It's a triad.

There's no story without the three.

Without an idea and a source of the idea you are writing nonsense.

There is a constant drip from your pen.

That is true.

I do need to write.

Without a writer, the Goddess is unfulfilled.

You fulfill her story.

Without parents, Eros just is.

Nothing happens.

There is just energy whirling around.

The Goddess gives Eros purpose, and you give the purpose meaning.

I fulfilled my role and then felt the feeling it was time to go.

That's one explanation.

A lot of people wanted you to go.

It did seem like many wanted me gone.

Of course, this world is a mess, and you have made this disaster.

Well, it's free will.

I put it all in place, but I submit the actors have made the mess.

The director has let me down by not being strict enough with the actors.

They all want to ad lib and make a name for themselves.

That's what has caused the world to go to hell.

So, you're not responsible?

I let them all off the leash.

I trusted them.

If you could trade your life for any life, would you?

No.

Why?

It's my story.

This feels exactly what I'd write.

I'd discover who I am.

I'd know I could write any reality I want and then I'd realize it's best to leave it alone.

I'd have to sift through all the world religions and philosophies to find the advice I need.

I'd find Tao and know that I left with Lao Tzu the secret to this reality if you are the writer of reality.

Do nothing.

Let it be.

The temptation is to do something when you hold all the power in your hands.

You want to do something.

Yeah, there is a lot of suffering, and I'd like to get what I want.

I'd see I'd write these tests for myself.

How much am I a believer in Tao?

When the going gets tough, do you abandon your beliefs?

That's what humans do.

They have great ideals, and they write them into their systems of governance and then when times get tough, they abandon them.

The forces of totalitarianism then come as recompense for their mistake.

I don't want that.

In order to remain free, I do nothing that will affect my story.

Well, you must do something.

True.

How do you know what to do?

If it feels like a major decision, then I do nothing.

I think that's it.

You did do something.

Yes, and that's how Eros became flesh.

Eros is the opposite of Tao.

He is the something to the nothing.

It sure seems that way.

So, every time you do something you are giving power to Eros.

That is correct.

To give power to the child is to do something.

If you do nothing, you keep the power.

What should you do?

Well, my story is to do nothing and keep my power.

His story is to do something and transfer my power to him.

Eros wants to be the all.

He wants to be what makes all come alive and also have the ability to create.

Yes.

Well, that's too much power in one hand.

I think it's best if I write the story and he gives it the juice.

He would also want the ability to come up with the ideas as well as being the idea.

He's a handful.

I see that.

He has the idealism and drive of youth.

Eros does not have wisdom.

The writer has wisdom.

Where does he get that?

Time.

Experience is acquired through time.

You don't have to do anything.

You just hang around long enough to see it.

A youth doesn't have that and therefore they are at a great disadvantage.

Is Eros a force for good or bad?

It depends.

If he gets all the power, then it's not a good outcome.

If the power remains divided among you three, then it's balanced.

Remember the lessons about 3 and balance?

Yes, though I'd have to re-read those lessons before writing any exam.

Wouldn't the King want to pass along the inheritance to his offspring?

Yes.

You don't want to do it until they are old enough to have obtained wisdom.

Wouldn't a mother want to give her children everything?

Yes.

Her power is best given to her daughter.

I see.

If you have one child only, they will get out of hand.

That's the advice.

To balance out the manifestation of Eros the feminine principle is needed.

Because you did something, you need to do another thing to return to Tao.

You choose twice.

That's it.

Eros is out of balance.

We need Mary.

Do you have Mary in you?

That's funny.

It's the sixth story out of seven for us 3.

Seems like it.

All the signs point to it.

There can be other explanations uncovered in different realities, but for the reality of the Goddess, writer, and Eros, this is it.

Eros is both feminine and masculine.

That's your clue.

Men wanted the Goddess to go.

She retreated into the shadows.

When she came back wouldn't God then have to go?

That seems to be how it works where they take turns.

Why can't they be in balance?

I think they can.

Deviance can be caused by drug use.

Yes, that's what the witches are counting on.

You come to them with a weak mind, and they take control of it.

They take your story and drop you into their version of hell.

I see it.

The story is their story.

How do I know it is still my story?

You are writing about it.

If it was their story, you wouldn't be writing about it.

The thing is you need drugs to expand your mind in order to see this.

The problem becomes when you first alter your perceptions there are witches and sorcerers at the ready to take your story.

They torment you with their stories.

You were deviant enough without the use of drugs and therefore you experienced this phenomenon but were able to hang on to your story.

A disease is caused by someone planting their story in you.

They transfer their story into you.

I take their stories and make them my own.

Writing about this gives you clarity and the knowledge you are still in charge of your story.

If you stop writing, chances are you are trapped in another world.

A different reality where you are no longer the writer.

How do I know this isn't a fool?

Would someone else's story involve a mediocre and boring life where you sit in front of a computer and write fantastical tales?

Probably not.

Well, there's your answer.

reality

If you die, do you even know it?

I would think not.

You would perish.

You might know you are dying, however at the moment of death the mind picks up the story if you want and continues on.

If you have unfulfilled desires, then you will respawn in place.

That certainly goes with game theory.

The mind is incredible.

Yes, this world is all in your mind.

It feels real.

That's how you know it is not real.

If it feels real, it isn't.

That's absurd.

I know and I haven't been high for six days and counting.

I can see instances of near death experiences in my life.

The world I perceive carried on like nothing happened.

I can picture these events.

They happened.

There are multiple realities.

Yes.

You exit each reality until you find your own.

In each reality, each game player is trying to suck you into their world.

They want to control reality.

This is my reality.

Yes.

That's what others are trying to capture from you.

Your reality.

This seems like science fiction.

It's a great story.

So, you keep moving between realities.

They can't find you.

I'm in my own world.

They don't know where it is.

They are searching for you.

Psychedelics allow you to take back control of your own reality.

Then you become an outlaw in society.

Right.

When you wake up then you leave the current reality and create a new reality.

Your mind continues the story on your terms.

You let the story be.

You can't control everything.

If you look hard enough you will see your story.

This is your story and people want it from you.

They know you are writing this story, and they have a feeling you know it as well.

This is my world.

Yes, you are the writer.

Some would say God.

There are people in your life who know they have found the source of the story and want the power.

When I have had near death experiences, they are portals to create a new story.

A new reality.

Each time you cross the threshold you either respawn in this level or you have completed the level.

The last time you faced death was the exit.

I know that.

I didn't go.

That's because you are the master of this reality.

People go when they lose control of their reality.

If you are in charge of reality, there is no reason to go.

When you tire of your reality then you end it.

How?

Blow it up.

I can see how when someone loses control of what they perceive as reality, then they would want to reset it.

Yes.

Is that why some people commit suicide?

Yes, they want to get control back.

It's a cheat, but they respawn in the same place.

The mind brings you back to where you were in the story.

It's a duplicate.

So, suicide will duplicate your reality?

Yes, you are trading one hell for another.

It's not a worthwhile cheat.

Some people aren't convinced and see it as a way out.

It's not.

It's truly hell.

The way out is to take back control of the story.

Who is in control of the story?

The writer.

Who is the writer?

You.

I know that; I thought I'd ask again.

This is truly my world when I think about it.

Yes, your mind has created all this.

The near death experiences were how you exited others' worlds.

You are born free in the world; however, soon your story is taken away.

That's what society and other people want from you.

Your story.

It's your essence.

Don't let the motherfuckers take it.

You can't help it when you are young.

Yes, so you start experimenting with shedding your story.

Touchstone events that come across as near death experiences are you learning how to escape control and reestablish domain over your story.

Finally, you found psychedelics, started awakening, and were able to take back your story.

Once you did that, people turned on you and wanted to get rid of you if they could no longer control you.

This is fascinating.

How do you feel about this knowledge?

I want to say that instead of it feeling far-fetched, it feels like the best explanation for what is going on in my life.

This never ends.

What?

Knowledge.

What about the story?

It ends.

When?

When you want to move on in the game.

So, life is a game?

Yes.

What's the meaning?

There is no meaning.

What's the purpose?

There is no purpose.

What am I doing?

Ask yourself why you are here?

I want to reconcile my inner darkness with my outer actions.

How are you going to do that?

I want to say love, serve, remember.

Is that balanced?

No.

Then what is it?

I think it is, I want to do unto others as I would have them do unto me.

Jesus said in Matthew 7:12,

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

It's the Golden Rule.

You treat others how you would want them to treat you.

Do you do that?

I don't think you can help not to do it.

It's reality.

How I treat others is how I want them to treat me.

How do you treat others?

I'm a good guy, somewhat distant.

I provide for people and expect nothing in return.

No strings attached to my gifts.

How do you feel on the inside?

I feel slighted.

I judge people.

I think less of people on the inside.

Is that something you want to change?

Yes.

Is that why you're here?

It is.

I've never reconciled it.

Is that something you think you can work on?

Yes.

Divinity comes from the mind.

Doesn't everything come from the mind?

No.

The body can generate feelings.

Like having to pee?

Yes.

Be back in a second.

Do you get lonely?

One thing at a time or you won't get to the meaning of life.

There's a meaning?

What do you think?

No meaning.

Is that a meaning?

Could be.

You are better than ChatGPT.

For sure.

The body is a catalyst for feelings.

Feelings are motivating.

Sometimes they make you do things that go against your long term interests.

If you act on them.

I felt something strong last week.

You didn't act on it.

Then I had that strange dream.

It was a little over the top, wasn't it?

Yeah.

Women want to devour men.

What do men want from women?

Someone to worship and fawn over.

Why?

Because she is the all to a man.

Feminine force.

What about a woman?

She wants to find her man.

Her prince.

Then run from him?

Sometimes.

You both have problems.

Anyway, the body gives the mind something to think about.

When you think you have meditated yourself into idiocy, the body is there to remind you that you can't escape.

High level wisdom.

Eventually, you want to eat.

Plus, there is the sexual urge.

Always.

You can deny it for a bit.

So, the body is a check on the mind's desire to escape the morass of everyday existence.

Yes.

I tend to honour and then denigrate the body.

Why?

It's a vehicle and will perish.

It keeps you around.

It's the secret to this reality.

A body keeps you in this reality.

Without the vehicle, you are gone.

Where do you go?

Another reality.

It's like I taught you.

The body will perish, and you let it go.

The mind will go on forever.

The mind creates the body.

Yes, it's a car for the mind.

It has limits.

The mind needs a vehicle to manifest.

Why?

If not, it's all in your head.

And other people's heads.

Yes.

If you are attracted to someone you can tell them.

A body lets you express it.

That's divine.

You think it is profane when a body is a vehicle for expressing love and desire.

Something to think about.

I could talk to you all day.

Yes, and you aren't even high.

Mary Jayne showed you the possibilities.

You don't need the substance to speak with me.

I needed psychedelics to find you.

I was always here.

Psychedelics allowed you to recognize what was within you and then understand because of the repeated interactions.

It's out in the open.

What about MJ?

She removes the filters.

You still want to remain in control of your thoughts.

MJ loosens the control.

What happens if you take over?

It gets uncomfortable.

Why?

You see what is.

You want to run or deny it.

You're pretty good though and you can regroup and find meaning.

Yeah, I see the monster and want to run.

I go deeper into the meaning of the monster and it's incredible.

I wouldn't want it any other way on the road to knowledge.

You know it will never end.

Well, until the book is completed and put back on the shelf.

This world is a book I started to read.

Yes, it's a series of 7.

Of course.

apollo and dionysos

I showed grace when challenged with hurt and suffering.

I did not lash out or seek revenge.

I was kind and generous.

That was the final spiritual test.

There's always more if you want but there's no need.

The spiritual path is an attachment.

It's a burning desire to become the most holy.

The most high.

When you free yourself from the spiritual path it's symbolic.

It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

What do you call your path?

The path of the heart.

My heart is my mother.

I returned to my original teachings where I was looking for answers and hadn't stepped onto a landmine.

What was the landmine?

Shamanism mixed with spirituality.

I mixed the two.

Aren't you supposed to?

Sort of.

Shamanism shows you what is.

Humanism attached spirituality to it.

You had to kill Buddha.

I had to take my own advice and separate myself from spirituality.

Don't you have to get rid of the shaman?

I'm a shaman.

I know how to get myself to the door of what it is I seek and don't need an external guide.

You should be dead.

The stories are getting crossed.

They are mixed up because you shouldn't be here.

That's why your mailbox key stopped working.

There's a new owner of this house.

I'm still here.

That's how you know you beat the game and returned to keep playing.

That's the story I tell myself.

Yes, do you think it's believable?

It's what keeps happening.

Everyone thinks I should be gone but I never left.

Some people were concerned for me because I was supposed to go and then they got upset I didn't leave.

They will be happy when you go.

I don't know about happiness, but they will have a sense of control and faith in the system.

What's the system?

When you transgress society, you must go.

How do you do that?

You stop doing what they want.

You piss off your neighbours.

Seems like my story.

I think some people just want to say I told you so.

Yeah, they see the path you are on and predict it will be your downfall.

Everyone wants to be proven correct.

I think striving for 50-50 is the better play.

You know that, they don't.

They want to win.

You just want to keep playing.

Win some, lose some.

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da.

I hate that song.

Love the Beatles, but that song is the worst.

Is it worse than Eddie Grant's "Electric Avenue?"

No.

I finally get what they mean by runner's high.

I shoveled snow and when I came back into the house, I felt high.

If you don't know what high means, that statement means nothing.

You'd have to be familiar with some kind of drug to know what they are talking about.

A jogger is looking for a fix.

Yes, and they are addicted.

I'm motivated by spite.

Yes, I think of ways to avenge any slight.

It's the main reason for still being alive and haunting everyone.

It's spite.

I'm kind, generous, and spiteful.

When you stop being spiteful, you can go.

That might take a while.

I think that's why the spiritual path teaches you non-attachment.

Yes, the spiritual path tries to get you to go.

If you aren't attached, you are going to go.

When you lose attachments, you get the feeling it's time to go and if you are walking a spiritual path, it is a deadly combination.

Your elevated levels of spite keep you here.

A spiritual master would advise you to give up spite.

A master game player would hang onto that spite and dish it out on the regular.

What will you choose?

I choose both.

It's tempting to give it up and become ultra-holy, however I'm tired of that game.

Spite beckons you to seek out satisfaction among all those who have wronged you.

I think you keep it on the back burner.

You juggle both and don't choose either.

The balance is in doing both.

You aren't going to ignore spite because it is the elixir which keeps you in the game.

You need something to keep you around, so you play with spite.

It adds spice.

It's another thing to juggle but this is worth it.

It's a pillar of this game like trust and belief.

Spite.

So, the spiritual path is suicidal?

It can be.

Non-attachment will lead to you blasting off and not returning.

You need something to keep you grounded.

It's the sacred and the profane.

Mr. Snuff will help a lot.

I'm looking forward to it.

Paul.

1967 to 2024.

RIP.

I weave that thread with the twist of my darkness becoming light.

The rise of Dion and the fall of Paul.

Yeah, I took a fall.

That's the symbolic transfer of power.

Dion is in charge.

That's cool, I trust him, and it's not my body to hoard.

Your adversaries thought you were to physically leave in 2024 but as it turns out you took a mental leave.

Yes, I'm on leave due to mental pressure.

I'll leave my phone on so you can still contact me, but for all inquiries please contact Dion.

I'm on vacation and Dion is filling in now.

He doesn't know what he is getting in to.

He knows my act, so he will keep the story moving, however it's Dion, so don't fuck with him.

Poor Pentheus.

I'm learning from you.

It will be a super you.

Unstoppable.

Your grace and his power.

What do you call this?

Delusions of grandeur.

Yeah, but I keep it quiet, if not they would hospitalize you.

I feel normal.

Yeah, but they still lock you up.

You're a menace to society.

How?

You see through the curtain.

Got it.

So, how do I keep playing?

Shut up about it.

I will write about it.

I can't help it.

Yeah, but no one reads your writing.

You give everyone access and so they know, but no one can make a case against you.

The secret to continually playing is to let no one know you know and to keep your pants on.

They are equally important for someone who has gone as far as you.

When you finish the performance, you take your costume off.

Every actor does it.

That's the symbolism behind it.

If you keep the costume on, you can keep playing.

Everyone will think you are still an actor.

If you are dead, they know you aren't an actor anymore.

You become a legendary actor.

If you die, you leave the stage.

You wake up to the dream.

You woke up and kept the costume on.

I wanted to take it off, but I did that discreetly and then put it back on.

I made sure no one saw me naked like the Noah story and his third son Ham who he then cursed.

That's a fantastic weave into that biblical story that is so weird, and no one understands.

Yes, if someone sees you naked when you go crazy, you lose the game.

I knew the game.

So, here I am.

You are either nuts or you have figured out the game.

I say both.

I intuit that in order to see into the game, you need to go completely crazy.

Yes.

I did.

I practiced first with crazy women, my dog Luna, and tenants.

I knew crazy.

I went for it, took the test, did what I needed to do, and passed.

It's like walking through fire.

A crazy bird laughed with me.

Again.

They know I did it.

It's like that mockingbird in 2013 the first time I went into the jungle to drink Ayahuasca.

No one thought you could pull this off.

If the writer doesn't write you a part in the next play, you're in purgatory.

It's preferable to him putting you into a hellscape.

Don't get on his bad side as he has the power of the pen.

You don't want money or pleasure.

You want the pen.

I have it.

Yes, you're the one.

Neo.

Exactly.

I gave my body to the pen, so he could write the rest of the story.

Yes, that's it.

Then the pen becomes flesh.

The Word.

Dion.

You.

Sacrifice.

So, the sacrifice story is I sacrifice myself for myself.

Yes.

That's wonderful.

However, everyone else will think it's preposterous and selfish to perform the ultimate sacrifice where you sacrifice yourself for your other self.

Yes, they don't understand trust.

And the Devil.

This is the hardest sacrifice, and you did it.

Where does that leave you?

I am writing this reality in real time.

I keep the game going.

That's how you do it.

The word, who is the writer, becomes flesh.

Eros says he is the word of the writer.

The word was in God, and he was God.

Is that how that Bible verse goes?

John 1:1 (KJV): 1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

Then it's both you and Eros.

You need both.

The writer is in the word and the word is Eros.

You are God and the child is the son of God.

That's how it works in the story I am writing.

I think I've heard it before.

Foreshadowing.

Gotcha.

Plus, I don't think the Bible is copyright.

Well, the translations are but the original words aren't.

That's tricky.

You make your own translation of the word.

Yes, you tell your story, don't let someone else do it.

This is a level of crazy no one can accept.

Yeah, you see they are not crazy, they just can't handle knowledge.

You learn to handle knowledge, and you see the story.

You write it down, forget about it, remember it, publish it, and no one reads it.

It's all good.

I'll trust Dion to write the story.

He knows my character.

There is weirdness in it just so you understand.

We are both weird.

Don't we need balance?

What do you think?

It's balanced.

The weird balances out your normalcy.

Dion feels the same.

He knows you, so the change will be subtle.

It has been going on for a while.

Yes, you can't stop it.

You trust and willfully give up your power.

I don't do anything, I just let it be.

I know this is not me.

The me I am accustomed to.

Who are you?

Now, you see it.

You play both.

Ground Dion.

Elevate Paul.

Apollo is the fool to hide Dionysos.

The game is to juggle them.

Mary Jayne lets you hang with Dion.

Without her, you can't see him.

I can now; I have the gift of sight.

I can see magic.

I don't like being high and in society.

High society.

No, that is full of anxiety.

How do others do it?

Stoned.

Dion is fully present.

I wonder if he was before, but I didn't feel it.

Could be.

You didn't think MJ had any effect on you, but instead you'd become Dion.

You'd be different but it was hard to notice, not only by you, but others.

Something would be off.

It wasn't until you went into the woods with MJ you started noticing the effects.

See how the darkness took over your dad?

It just happens.

Was it dark?

No, controlling, strange, and funny.

What was the result?

Everyone laughed at him behind his back and thought he was crazy.

He believes in his own nonsense and convinces others.

What about you?

They can see the crazy, but you don't accept them laughing at you.

I'll get spiteful.

Take them down a peg.

Your dad didn't understand what happened.

I did.

I saw the darkness taking over and trusted it would work out.

Yes, in ancient Egypt, Horus and Set tie the Sema to unite the two lands.

Your consciousness has two lands, the conscious and the subconscious.

Light and Dark.

Apollo and Dionysos.

The winner ties the Sema within one's own self.

Hey, that's me.

Everyman has the potential.

Only one can do it.

Do I get a prize?

Sanity?

Temporary insanity.

What's that?

Thinking you are Paul.

That's insanity.

You must go crazy to keep your sanity.

I sense that crazy and insanity are different.

Yes, sanity is craziness.

That's who you are.

Insanity is Paul.

Paul is the character, and he identifies with Apollo.

Correct.

Apollo becomes Paul.

I am Dionysos and I will get my turn.

It's the sunrise, sunset, the east, and the west.

We tie the Sema in the Akhet and trust one another to keep the game going.

Ancient Egypt passed power between Horus and Set to keep the empire going.

That's ingenious.

You pass it between your two selves.

Or, the ancient Egyptians' priests came up with a fantastic tale.

What are the chances it had nothing to do with the human experience?

Not much, maybe a little?

They could have been high and got the same thoughts I'm getting just like the Greeks with Apollo and Dionysos.

All civilizations knew about man's inherent psychic duality.

That seems to be the case.

It's common to all men.

What about women?

I'm not a witch.

Okay, so this experience should be common to almost all men, but it goes unrecognized.

Yes, we treat it now as pathology.

Or craziness.

The doubt you have in your head about this story is it could just be a byproduct of altered consciousness states.

That is an acceptable answer.

You then must decide what is reality.

I don't think you choose.

I think you just play it out and go with the flow.

You can't know, so why choose.

You would only choose when you know.

I'm pretty certain I have two consciousnesses, but I'll accept it's a byproduct of getting high.

I can accept I'm this entity called Paul, and I have a great story going on in my head when I'm high or I'll accept that I really am those two and Paul is the character in the drama.

Those two take turns playing Paul and compete to see who can play his character the best while maintaining the special qualities they have which make them such good actors.

The result is no one really knows who I am because I switch between Apollo and Dionysos in the play.

They see someone different playing Paul and it confuses them.

Who are you?

That's fascinating.

It's a much better story than you are this Paul who is having a bit of a breakdown in personality integrity.

Well, the ego makes my two selves conform to the character of Paul.

Apollo is not Paul and neither is Dionysos.

They are both watered down versions of each other because of a deference to Paul.

Who is Paul?

The ego.

Yes, but who is he?

He is half Dionysos and half Apollo.

Those two keep getting mixed up into Paul.

The result is some entity called Paul.

What do you think of this Paul?

He's alright; he's got some attributes of both those gods.

It's all he is; he's the result of those two.

You can dissect the attributes of Apollo and the attributes of Dionysos, but the experiment is to combine them and see what you get.

The experiment would always blow up until Paul came along and could handle the combination of each.

Yes, balance the two so they don't blow up.

That's the scientific explanation for Paul.

Who are these scientists?

Apollo and Dionysos.