Marys and the light
two ladies
with serpent coils.
rainbow patch visions
transposing my soul.
death and rebirth.
whirling energy
locked inside
a golden castle.
symbol and ritual.
ineffable love.
opened my heart,
revealed the light.
teacher, lover
queen of heaven.
magdala revelation
of the light within.
Taking stock of myself with the intimate knowledge of what it is that exerted control over me for so long, I came to the realization towards the end of this year that I could easily manifest this destructive entity if I chose to do so. I knew the thought patterns and behaviours I could use to surface this thing and I got it in my head I could perform an exorcism of sorts. I made plans to one night engage in activities I had long ago abandoned, get this thing to manifest, and then use a spell to vanquish him. I remembered advice about postponing war only benefits your enemy and since the enemy and myself knew this was coming, I rushed my plan into action. I didn't get a warm and fuzzy feeling in my gut about doing this. There was not resistance, but there was not a positive feeling that yes this seems like a good thing to do. I went ahead anyways, if nothing else I thought it would be a good affirmation of my strength. So one night I planned a ceremony, addressed my spirit helpers about what I was going to do, asked for their support, and then prepared to meet my adversary.
It didn't go exactly as planned but it was not a disaster. I filled my mind with the thoughts and stimulation that I knew would bring out the dark energy that is present in me. Out it came and it enjoyed the stroll down memory lane. I ended it after about an hour - I repeated three times an incantation I had written in an attempt to get rid of this thing. I'm not sure it would be proper to say I underestimated my opponent, no far from that, I knew his power. What I did underestimate was the power he had to infect the mind. What I mean is that how the darkness works is by planting thoughts into the mind that then cycle in an endless loop until you're trapped. After I ended this ceremony I went to bed but as I lay there these thoughts remained with me and they became feelings which then become very hard to ignore once they reach that stage. Mantras can work to dispel these thoughts but when these thoughts run unchecked for a full hour it is very difficult to excise these from the mind.
The next day these thoughts were recurring in my mind at a frequent interval. A tinge of resignation came over me as I wondered how I could ever get rid of this thing and not have it hanging off me for the rest of my life. I had to use some mantras to get this back under wraps as I sensed its presence and potential to multiply into being out of control once again in my life. I had plans for later in the day that would get my mind off this situation for 24 hours which was good as it allowed me to step back from what was happening. When I revisited this problem the next day I was surprised by what I learned from this whole episode.
I went for my morning walk with my dog in the woods and started processing the experience. I specifically questioned the nature of this entity and the black magic it can wield that casts a spell on your mind which promulgates this feedback loop. You allow these initial thoughts into your head and from this I was able to sense this is how you create feelings. Your thoughts create feelings and this begins a cycle where the outcome is that you eventually act on these feelings. So I began to see the power inherent in an individual to manifest their own reality. I had heard of that saying before but I'd never been clear on it. I started to see how it works and taking it the next logical step further you see how exponentially it affects us on a collective basis. If the consciousness' of human beings are constantly bombarded with messages of fear then these thoughts that are implanted in your head cause the feelings of anxiety, hatred, and intolerance towards others. It softens up your mind so that someone else's agenda can be implanted within you and then as a society we act upon this. In the same way it can be shown how advertising plays upon people's insecurities or need to keep up appearances when they use these techniques to sell their products.
So because of this I entered into a conversation with my higher self during this time of solitude in the woods. The first topic that was very concerning to me was the question of will I ever get rid of this entity that inhabits part of my psyche and is forever trying to implant these messages within me? The answer was to simply not think the thoughts that cause this dark entity to manifest. Yes well I have gotten good at that and I can use mantras to quell any aberrant thoughts that make their way past my defences. However am I only just suppressing these thoughts? Doesn't Freud say repressing these thoughts will lead to the expressing of these deep desires in another way which will be even worse? I want to get rid of the enemy. The answer came in the form of explaining to me what attachment is. If you still have the desire to entertain these thoughts then you will remain attached to them. When you transcend that desire then you do not need to suppress these thoughts anymore because they mean nothing to you. If you can't do that then you are stuck and you might as well get yourself mired knee deep again in that muck and filth. You have already experienced it and you were shown the result of that behaviour in a vision. Thoughts > Feelings > Actions > Consequences. Is that what you want to revisit? Do you still feel that pull? Attachments are very injurious to the soul. It will mean the death of the soul in this incarnation and you'll have to repeat the class. You have come this far and you now have the keys to unlock the doors to immortality and transcend this world of illusion. Would you like to give the keys back so you can partake in fleeting sensory pleasure once again? Haven't we been down this road before? How long did it take and what were the challenges presented to you in order to extricate yourself from the mess you had gotten yourself into? Are you seriously entertaining these thoughts? Well yes, they are tempting me I must admit to myself. It's sorcery and quite devious and I had hoped to have moved past this. You have moved past it and there is no need to revisit it unless you want to throw everything away. You have been taught many things which I know you now understand. Your journeys into altered forms of consciousness and the subsequent processing of the experiences have taught you many lessons. You know the importance of making yourself a holy vessel both physically and mentally that allows you to vibrate into a higher plane and you have experienced this. You know how this is possible and these things are no longer mysteries to you. The first time you entered into this strange world of spirits you were told all is vibration.
There was a specific reason you were told that so that years down the road when you really start to put together all the pieces of the puzzle you would use the knowledge of all being vibration to lead you to shed all your attachments to this material plane in order to raise the frequency of your vibration and transcend the physical plane. Attachments weigh you down and your adversary is operating the store that carries the heavy weights. He is literally attaching stuff onto who you are so that you have to haul this shit around. If you get weighed down by these attachments you never raise your vibration to a level that will allow you to break free of the prison that holds your soul captive. Remember now the weighing of the heart scene and the many depictions of it in ancient Egypt from the Book of the Dead.
What were they saying pictorially? Your heart needs to be as light as a feather. It's the weight, not the size. What do the Gnostics say is sin? It is attaching your soul to material pursuits. You have to shed your attachments. The adversary will always be there to give you the opportunity to indulge your senses and get attached once again. He's not going anywhere but you know well enough to not listen to him. There's no need to fear him. Have an awareness he will always be there looking for an in. When you are not at your best; when you slip from an ideal of purity then he will be there offering you drink and respite so he can get his hooks back into you. We all took part in creating the adversary and this world is essentially an academy for souls. We have to transcend what are called the seven deadly sins through multiple incarnations and trials. The seven heads of the beast; the seven hills of Babylon. Cut off the heads, climb all seven hills, find your way through the labyrinth of life, subdue the Minotaur, and head to the light. Find the pearl guarded by the dragon and then get out! It's quite the fool's journey. These symbols are expressions for this journey that we all undertake. It is by no means easy but when you reach the point where you understand all this and you have seen the light then it's time to shed the baggage, hit the accelerator, and get out of here! Trust me, you're almost home; you have been gone so long you don't even know where or what home is.
I do know this; I've just never put it all together or taken stock of where I stand. But in terms of attachment and desire I am curious about my thoughts and how these manifest into feelings that I then act upon. How can I, in this world, remain free of desire? You already know the answer though you have never put it all together. You see if you turn your thoughts towards your heart then you manifest feelings of love. You then express this love. It works both ways, the light or the dark, so it becomes a choice of what you want your thoughts to manifest. You are not suppressing anything, you just choose love. Love is the highest vibration you can attain and this is why you want to create a vessel of physical and mental purity in order to allow as much of this love into your being as possible. So the answers and this quest of yours boil down to one simple word. Love. Everybody already knows this. For something so simple it's very hard to choose isn't it? This goes back to the beginning of our discussion. Yes you will always have to contend with negative thoughts, these will never go away. Choose love, it's the only answer.
