chasm of division

We are the be all and end all within the tabernacle of spirit, which is the body. Through intention, which the Gospel of John calls the Logos, we manifest our world. Our word and our world are our intention. Collectively, we have brought forward hell. Hell is the fruit of our desires. All is not lost, as we can manifest heaven, if collectively that's what we want. The power is in our hands. Individually, we can bring forth heaven within the hell we find ourselves in. That's the first step, until a tipping point is reached, and we flip the whole of duality around. Hell becomes heaven. The yo-yo of the dualistic universe is laid bare.

I'd bet if we travel the cosmos, we will find utopia; a place where heaven has been manifested. It's probably as dull as all get out, as we are beings of desire. The prisoner count of those who have transgressed the law in heaven probably outstrips our prison population here on earth by a large magnitude. Ah, our nature can't be transcended. The heavenly within duality becomes another hell realm, though quite pleasant for those who can control their desires - you know, lusts, wants, and greed.

So, what's the answer? Do we create heaven while in hell? For some, you can find joy and fulfillment on earth, though of course nothing lasts. The winds of change are always blowing and the darkness within the world will eventually reach your doorstep in some regard, or the spectre of aging and death will break up your happy home. The old adage, "It is better to have lived and loved than not to have lived at all" is good advice.

How about the choice of where you are going post-expiration of the body? Our western religion preaches heaven or hell. Maybe there is some truth to the claim, as what you desire will lead you to your next destination in your spiritual journey of the flesh. A desire to satiate passions will lead you back to earth, the ultimate place to live out your dreams; dreams being a coy word for desires. The stakes are high, and the suffering is great, but the roll of the dice on earth might lead you to a life of fulfilling all those desires. Is it worth the risk? Apparently, judging by the line up to get in, I'd say yes. Alternatively, you do go to heaven as you have exhausted the pull of desire. You haven't given up on the game; instead, you want your reward for transcending the depravity of the earth game. Hey, you've earned it. So, you go to heaven and experience a realm of righteousness where everyone lives in harmony and follows the code of conduct for such a holy person. What do you do when boredom sets in, or you get pangs of desire?

Imagine being a heretic in heaven. That would get you thrown out of paradise just like Lucifer got tossed in the Bible story. You'd automatically gain a bunch of followers who would get tossed with you. Earth would be the penal colony you are sent to.

I'd like to think the rollercoaster of duality eventually will wake you up and lead you to the answer. The answer is finding balance within love. An appreciation for who we are and an acceptance of all. Living within the heart and loving all. Needing just one rule, the golden rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

This leads to an interesting thought experiment. Is it easier to find the path of the heart in heaven or while in hell? In heaven, one would abide by a strict code of conduct and an ingrained righteousness which would glorify one's status as a perfected being. One would scoff at those who failed to become holy and righteous. The right-hand path of the holy man is a path of individuality and celebrates the accomplishments of one who can transcend desire. You climb the mountain but maintain the separation between you and the other. Your holiness needs the sinner in order for you to differentiate and know how great you are. The blinding white light of your righteousness will occlude from you the other. Love remains conditional upon transcending your nature. Within hell, you see it all. Those getting their fill, those suffering immensely, and those being of service. You see how all is connected. Though difficult to see through the game, eventually there will be some who do see it. The way out is to embrace all and love unconditionally something you would never find in heaven. Compassion is lost on someone who is enjoying the rewards of their spiritual mastery.

Earth is a unique place on the spiritual journey. It is the hardest of all tests, and the pitfalls are enormous. If I was in the closing stages of such a journey, for sure I would desire to manifest upon earth and try my luck. I'd want to see if I could find my way out, not getting skewered on the petard of my own righteousness.

(The Great Goddess of the epiphany gave me the word "petard." I had no idea what it meant so I looked it up. Petard is almost always encountered in variations of the phrase "hoist with one's own petard," meaning "victimized or hurt by one's own scheme." Ha ha, perfect!)

I can't stay on the holy mountain I climbed or be given access to the holy of holies. I see the trap. The chasm of division is ahead of me. I'll build a bridge and traverse the divide with whoever wants to come along. The choice remains for all.

mentally ill

Dionysos, Saturnalia, Bacchanalia, and festivals of excess. These celebrations of the past were recognition by civilizations that the condition of the human will lead to a tendency towards madness. We are mentally ill as a normality and the failure to recognize the condition leads to outbursts which affect all, as opposed to ritually uncorking the intoxication of madness. Hello, Mardi Gras.

We are all mentally ill and society is making us sick. By keeping us in fear, as a species we are more easily controlled. The gatekeepers of the earth carnival know the methods of control. Of course they do. By remaining oblivious to the means of suppression by your human masters, you unwillingly remain imprisoned.

If you don't become a cynic in your formative years, your mind, who has mastered you, will make you suffer because you are not successful yet in the culture game. You will strive to seek the acceptance of others and in turn the inner critic within will reward you with a dopamine hit. You made it! But you still aren't good enough. Keep striving to achieve and successfully pursue all your goals in life.

With clarity, it becomes easy to see the motivating behaviour of the inner critic with others. They are down on self because they haven't made it. They transferred the disappointment of the superego from their parents to the inner critic. They are a great specimen for psychological study. They suffer and are depressed which motivates them to change or sink further into the morass. The ones who transform their lives are still caught up in the need to prove the superego is wrong about them. They become laser-like focused on goals and are impressive in their accomplishments. However, it is never enough, and any slip up is sure to invite the wrath of the puppeteer telling them they are no good and a failure.

I can see this, and I'd laugh at the absurdity, except the suffering for the other is real. How do I help? I must think that you are there in spirit as an example, but you must let them finish the suffering they inflict upon themselves. Eventually, there is hope they will see it. Nobody really cares about your inner trials and tribulations. If you are not accepted by the other, find others. It is a big fishbowl.

It's a worthwhile endeavour to embark upon a path that will lead to the severing of the hold culture and authority figures have over you. The other creates ways for you to suffer. The inner critic will make you suffer. Duality makes you suffer. I like to point out that we are objectification machines. When I get up in the morning, the first thing I do is put on my duality glasses. This brings the world to life and each day becomes an adventure. Separation causes many challenges, and this creates the game of life. Survival, challenge, acceptance, success/failure and on and on it goes. Boredom ensues if you get trapped in the repetitive nature of the game, as fulfilling needs, and becoming complacent is the perceived good life. The ensuing boredom gives you the impetus to create your own new adventure. Because of this endemic human behaviour, I like to say we are suffering machines as well. Suffering will lead to transformation or your demise, and planet earth is the ultimate school for those souls who wish to transform.

It is through the divine masculine that the transformation will take place. He's the ultimate teacher and will kill you if he must. That's the agreement you sign when you decide to take up space in his classroom. For a man, that relentless inner critic is him. He's fulfilling his role impeccably, just like you asked. All suffering is grace because transformation is designed to eventually lead you to the heart. The heart is the last stop on the human express once you have exhausted all the ports of call which purport to give you the answers for what you are searching.

Do I want to eliminate the suffering? No. Suffering is the teacher which will bring you to the heart. Do I want to relieve suffering? Yes. I can show you the way out. The open invitation is the path of the heart.

Death is a relentless stalker and if you don't find the path of the heart then the itinerary on the map will end at death. The warrior who has mastered life will progress through fear, clarity, and power and will remain helpless as death approaches. The master will not fear death and will welcome graduation. Earth is a tough course for the eternal student and the successful aspirant will be given a celebration worthy of a king upon completion of the syllabus.

This is all to say madness lurks within all civilizations. The denial of suffering and the prevention of an inner transformation will cause mental illness. To continue with the human civilization project, outlets for madness or destruction will come knocking on your door. All civilizations rise and fall. The decay inherent in 2024 western society is easy to see. The abyss waits for its next prey. We can acknowledge it, transform, or throw ourselves on the pyre.

all the world's a stage

My default conception of time is that it moves forward. I live my life by constantly reaching into the future. It is logical and I'm steered to do that by my senses. My main senses create logic and reason. My less developed senses such as intuition and déjà vu point towards other modalities of perceiving time. What if time could also move backwards? What if it does? What if there is a constant flow of time going forwards and backwards which creates what we call now?

The impetus for this thinking is my belief that God is a writer. He writes creation into existence in a book. The screenplay of the book is then acted out. Thinking about this, it would be understood the book has already been written or at least the development of the story takes place before the actors' act. So, the distant and unknowable God exists in the future with his screenplay, and he sends his Word to us. It's ingenious and funny.

I like to think about Cupid, Eros, and lust. These are all names I give to desire, and this helps me to illustrate my point. The child of a union is this desire which compels a couple to come together and create life. Eros exists in the future. Think about desire in your life: It is something you want. You don't have it yet, but you make a pact with the future. The future is then made manifest, and this is desire coming into being.

The future flows into the past and the past flows into the future. The revelation of the future can rewrite the past while the past flowing into the future unveils the story. Creation is the domain of the Goddess and is where the past and the future are reconciled. Life comes into being in the now, which is the stage of life.

It's simple. God writes the story, Goddess creates the stage and life, and the actors are the music of creation, performing the dance of life.

triumvirate

I am my two brothers. My two brothers are who I am. To assign myself an identity that is not a transient construct of culture means a long and difficult journey undertaken to discover who I am. I am the coming forth of two powers.

Within the one always is the two. Dualistically, the one denotes two. Who you are is the coming together of two powers. Within, you have the dark and the light - two brothers who constitute your being. The divine masculine, the two brothers, unites with the divine feminine to bring forth the form within creation. You are a product of two. Always. Within, I have contending masculine forces who constitute my masculine essence, and the expression of my life is derivative of feminine and masculine powers. When I look into a divine mirror, I see reflecting the set of twos - my brothers and my parents. I now see the two from the solitary figure of one. To express this truth, knowing they are always with me, is through the power of three. All life is the relationship of three. Going further to the four, we see who you are is the pair of brothers or sisters coming from the two who hold the four within - mom and dad. An expression of seven denotes the divine truth of you as three and your divine origin of four.

At middle age, I got the bug to figure out this life I had sleep-walked through for forty years. Proverbially, I had wandered through my own Sinai for forty years. The journey of the hero was calling out to me as I was ready as I would ever be. I didn't know I was embarking on the path of the hero; I just figured I'd use my remaining time on earth to try and figure out why I was here and why humanity is so full of hatred and division. I was given a grace period of five years to accumulate knowledge before the intensive phase began. Within a great deal of the knowledge, specifically from ancient Egypt, were the answers I was looking for though I lacked understanding; so, they remained hidden until I reached the point on the journey which would unlock the knowledge.

The search for the Great Goddess was the catalyst to seeking out the master teacher. I remained oblivious to the trajectory of the path I was walking, having no clue the pursuit of the divine feminine would lead me to consciousness altering plants. Of course, I see it now and I see it in the myths of long perished cultures. In year four of my journey, I became obsessed with finding a way to contact the Goddess, knowing from the ancient Egyptian literature such a meeting was possible. Through a series of fortunate events, I found shamanism and a magic potion called Ayahuasca. The journey now entailed leaving the comforts of home and heading off to the dark and mysterious Amazon jungle. The intensive stage of the course was at hand.

Indeed, I found Her upon the first alteration of consciousness. What I had read about the Goddess is all true. She is real. In retrospect, the Goddess was the recruitment officer for the hero's mandatory course. She led me into the jungle and tried to inform me of the coming tribulation. I naively blundered upon the path and stumbled into the classroom of the divine masculine master teacher. I had no defences, no strategy, and no idea what I had signed up for. With a powerful right hook, I was KO'ed in no time. The teacher wasted no time in showing me I was no hero. I was a coward, full of fear. I was a fraud defined by panic and paranoia. I was told to leave and never return. Stop taking up space in the classroom of life. I ran from this. This is not what I wanted and expected. I wanted to walk a comfortable and scholarly path of knowing, not the path of a warrior.

Turns out it doesn't work that way. The teacher follows you home and doesn't let up. I didn't know the class was still in session; I just wanted to get away from this guy. Ultimately, he was teaching me to transform or perish. I enrolled in the course of my own foolish free will, and he was delivering on the lessons. Despite the hardship, I kept going. I had spent five years on the path, had found the Goddess, and wasn't going to let this go. I chose the difficult path of transformation though if I could have skipped this part of the journey I would have.

Transformation involves becoming a warrior through courage, bravery, and perseverance. The sheer act of just repeatedly returning to the intensive classroom lessons was signalling I could do it and my world opened from there. My teacher transformed me into a warrior. I was his son, now the hero and he my proud father; my divine father being the ultimate alpha male. I had my sword, and I continued the path of the hero, climbing the mountain of enlightenment and gathering up as much knowledge as I could hold. Eventually, the knowledge marinated into understanding. I walked that hero's journey and discovered who I am.

It's hard to accept who you are because responsibility comes at a heavy price. I had the knowledge but still didn't want to let go. I wanted to be the good guy and objectify the bad guy. Biblically, I wanted to be Abel and not Cain. This thinking made me feel better about all the suffering in the world.

I earned my transformation. I have balls. I look back and I am stunned at what I did because I see it now. By all accounts, any sane person should have gone insane or at least ran far from this challenge. The challenge to my mind and the obstacles in the path were immense. Not only that, but all the trappings were laid out for me. I didn’t fall for any of them. Being from a long line of fools allowed me to bumble my way through the hero's journey, smiling like the village idiot in times of trouble. I could have used someone to talk to about what I was going through, but I kept to myself. In retrospect, if I had opened up, the journey would have ended. I would have been convinced to stop because the price on my mental health would be too great. That's what I would have been convinced to believe. Now that I'm well beyond the gates, I know the opposite is true. My mind is free, and my foundation is solid. Sure, I may come off as weird and strange but that's because I'm not hypnotized by culture. Do you see it?

I see it. I also see the two brothers within which creates what I call me. I'm kind of nebulous in that I don't exist without them and on the other hand, they don't exist without me. We are in a co-dependent relationship, mostly trying to figure each other out.